Colonoscopy Tales

[@chuckychuckerson2852]

You know it's going to be a rough night when the gurgling starts up in your shoulder.

[@YGardenRose]

😂😂

[@maxxsrv]

Right!!

[@anotherstart1]

Best comedian of all time !

[@Joel.Rogers]

😂🤣😂🤣😂 This is the most hilarious thing I've heard in a good while. Breuer is awesome! Lol

[@annsolorzano6817]

No other comic gets me laughing this hysterically…not one!! He is a story teller of stuff we can all relate to. His sound effects, funny faces and physical comedy are the best. This guy gives his all to the audience.

[@StringBender567]

From someone who has Crohn’s Disease and who’s had 4 colonoscopies, this is 100% accurate 😂😂😂

[@vinsanitynelson4943]

I had colon cancer about 6 years ago. I have had 11 colonoscopies. Hang in there.

[@JonnyMac420]

Same. Only been thru one so far tho

[@StringBender567]

V. Alleyn Nelson Damn... Congrats on beating cancer!

[@vinsanitynelson4943]

@@StringBender567 Thanks William!

[@Saxmann97]

I put the flat screen and Xbox in my bathroom for the last one

[@marydusina4614]

Brilliance.. Content Delivery Timing Perfect

[@THEATREofPAIN270]

Haven't laughed this hard in a long time. 😂 So accurate. Thanks Jim

[@VNeto94]

I stumbled across your videos impersonating metal singers during this pandemic and never stopped watching all the other stuff. It's been a while since a stand up comedian caught my attention and just clicked like this. Hope to see you perform one day. Greetings from Brazil and long live paint!

[@Nicole-ui5wv]

same here, making me feel a lot better at the right time in my life

[@sebastianrutkowski7316]

hello,muammar. where u at?? 😉

[@kensurrency2564]

long live paint!!!!!

[@lynnmackie7379]

Have you watched 'somebody had to say it?'... Pure genius. Has me crying with laughter every time. xx

[@TheDude1764]

Just had my first one of these… this is hands down all true. And the funniest delivery I’ve ever heard!😂🤣

[@gregbaas]

😂😂😂😂 Do you have any Chapstick???😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@tnmom9504]

Just had my 1st one at 43 due to diverticulitis. This is spot on. Lol!!!! I was so anxious as they began to put me to sleep I started to cry and all I heard was "no crying in here sweetheart" then next thing I know I woke myself up farting in recovery. Lol. The more I laughed the more air came out. The nurse was there with me and I said I'm so sorry. She said nah, you are supposed to do that, if you didn't we would be worried! Anyway they found 3 polyps which thankfully were non cancerous. Get your colonoscopy!!

[@brokeeper2007]

Yep. This is hilarious, but those last three words are important. I watched my dad pass away from colo-rectal cancer after losing too much of his insides to it. That was a long time ago before they had today’s treatments. Now. It’s hardly necessary, if you catch it early. Sorry for making this serious, but join the laughter because the procedure is funny, once it’s over.

[@Joel.Rogers]

Absolutely hilarious, I haven't laughed so hard in a long time!

[@pmbluemoon]

This guy is so awesome! I've been watching his videos as well and WOW! LOVE his take on life and life's happenings for sure. Great job Jim Breuer!

[@danik8835]

My mom did this recently 🤣 When she woke she was screaming, "I'M AWAKE, I'M AWAKE!! GIVE ME MORE🤣🤣🤣!" She thought the medicine worn off and she woke during the procedure!🤣🤣🤣 I wish I could had been there!!🤣🤣🤣

[@brokeeper2007]

I believe it. It’s hard to believe it’s over already. You have no memory of how much time has passed.

[@CornbreadOracle]

I just had mine last week. I woke up and said “What’d I have done?” I have had a lot of surgeries for a completely unrelated condition, so I guess that’s why. But it made my nurse chuckle.

[@hatchhermit77]

I woke up during an upper endoscopy. Never again.

[@terminallyinquisitive1731]

When I had mine it was December and one of the 4 nurses or doctors in the theatre tried to relax me with small talk about whether I'd bought all my Christmas presents while a guy shoved a tube up me. Next time I'm getting sedation 😁

[@markbirchette8740]

Jim been there done that. Magnesium Citrate disguised as a bad 7Up should be illegal and considered cruel and unusual punishment !

[@DarthTwilight]

....... it's still hilarious

[@gabrielleval5029]

My mom passed of Pancreatic cancer back in 07. If she were alive she would be in hysterics🤣🤣🤣she said the colonoscopy was beyond horrible. There was no waiting when u had to go.

[@andrewhawkins8616]

I like how Billy Connolly put it: "This isn't your run-of-the-mill laxative, this thing is like NASA."

[@babosses7866]

“like they’re checking oil”

[@jayegeler]

Usually when people get their first colonoscopy, they are nervous and afraid. The second time isn't so bad, for you know what to expect. Now, the third time, at this point in my life, consider it foreplay.....

[@pattsw]

That's one of the smallest dislikes to views ratio I've ever seen 👍 Goes to show just how good Jim is 🤣🤣🤣

[@777jxd]

Omgosh! Omgosh! Omgosh! Stop it, Jim! My face hurts, I’velaughed so hard!!!!!😂

[@JonFromWA]

Im 41. Had my Colonoscopy & it was the best sleep I had in a long time. That drink though, OMG. Hours at the toilet. Dont make any plans. Mobile games & your cell phone are your best tools.

[@theshadylady1982]

I NEVER take my phone to the toilet. They watch you, you know. And not just thru the camera you can see. There's another one near the bottom you can't see. Allegedly. Lol.

[@tootallzz]

So good Jim! 😂🤣😂

[@trevorfinley2327]

People who haven’t had anesthesia wouldn’t understand. New favorite bit

[@seankeating5005]

Somewhere out there Jim's dad is laughing his head off at this. Oh, sweet revenge. 😎👍

[@RangerMcFriendly]

That’s exactly what came to my mind lol!!

[@Tysandifer]

HES NOT GONNA MAKE IT

[@sheeplebeware9511]

@@Tysandifer Someone sent me a link to this after I shared this one. kzbin.info/www/bejne/jajFpaSQn8SWn7c

[@wingman-1977]

@@Tysandifer That’s the same thing that crossed my mind when he did the shuffling off to the toilet part.

[@flapjackson6077]

Wow, that brings back memories. I had a colonoscopy about a year ago, and I described the colon prep to people I know as a pissing out my ass. I was also struck by the extreme angles of spray. Clean up and all that. But a month ago I contracted Covid. My symptoms were slightly atypical. My case featured 6 days of feeling like you’re doing a colon prep. It was amazing, grueling, sometimes humorous, but exhausting. I chugged Gatorade to keep from getting too dehydrated, but it only added to the flow. I’m all better now, but i can certainly relate to Jim’s story.

[@ericmain9872]

Spot on

[@jarrodbarkley9061]

Oh I needed that laugh, that was hysterical!!! 😂😂😂😂😂

[@hawkknight4564]

Oh my ribs hurt so much. Phenomenal!

[@lisaannrader9022]

OMG! I’m dying…🤣😂🤣😂

[@chrisrogers8687]

This is one funny ass dude.

[@eldonhoward7925]

Absolutely hilarious! You cannot completely appreciate this until you've gone through it. 😂😂

[@skbnvacaville]

Aaaand once again I have been sent into such choking spasms of laughter that it hurts my throa. I’ve had pneumonia for a month now binging Jim Bauer~ don’t do that. It could kill you. I get to choking so bad then I can’t breathe and my chest hurts my throat hurts dammit quit making me laugh so hard dude. He has to be the top GOAT because I can’t think of any one person who’s ever made me laugh this much in my entire life & I’ve seen them all! Guy is totally hilarious. Colostomy bit is so hilarious tears are coming out of my eyes again all by themselves. I’m crying!

[@mymomsaysimcool9650]

After mine, I went home shoveled foot deep snow from mine and my neighbors driveways and walkways. Wife stopped me from changing oil in car in 30 degree weather.

[@Penguinssss]

I wonder what happens to the mic after Breuer uses it... or who has to use it.

[@joegallegos8076]

My ass was blowin air….. I lost it… funny ass shit….. lol

[@timm_3r]

Do you have any chapstick? 🤣😂🤣

[@dgb56bgd]

Dude, I can’t believe you made me laugh…about something horrible that I’ve had to live through myself…and I was horrified. Blessings Sir. Thanks.

[@martintolovski]

Jim is an all-time stand-up man 🤣

[@kaya8632]

Who the hell would want to go through this? I'll take the gamble that I don't get this

[@taxcman]

Omfg I am literally crying of laughter omg

[@longlenge]

I was lucky enough to have a colonoscopy performed the day after my 30th birthday (what a present!). Best sleep I’ve ever had.

[@lisapineapple]

Are we supposed to do it at 30?

[@ericfredrickson5517]

When you were walking, if you marched, did your butt whistle "The Colonel Bogey March" from "The Bridge on the River Kwai"? Hilarious!

[@mehditerfous]

I don’t think I ever laughed that hard wow lmaooo..there’s a limit I guess can’t breathe

[@jamieoleary7267]

SPOT ON! Absolutely HILARIOUS! LOL How do you feel? What? LOL

[@stans7770]

They broke into the middle of this bit to play an ad for Bounty.

[@harfangdesneiges6680]

"The bigger picker upper!"💩💩💩

[@DanSmith-cb5vj]

I had my first one at 60, without sedation at all. I told the lady doctor at the Ft. Worth VA, I wanted to see what my inside looked like. There were 2 other female nurses and they took great care of me. They explained the steps along the way. I was so clean and no pollops, no cancer, Praise GOD! She gave me 10 years to come back. 5 yrs later, i also had an endoscopy without sedation. Acid reflux, arghhh!

[@kellypilant9176]

Had mine done at the Fort Worth VA also, woke up in the middle of it and got a look at my insides also. I live in Springtown and go to Fort Worth and Dallas VA. Where do you call home?

[@joekeller8936]

On a serious note, get a colonoscopy, guys. Nothing weird about it and its rare that you even feel it. Colon cancer is way more common than you think

[@B1gkitty85]

Yes sir. Got diagnosed at age 25.

[@brokeeper2007]

And, unless you get a bad diagnosis, these routines become that much more funny.

[@crashburn3292]

That's the: "It's me Bob!" joke by Norm MacDonald on a greater scale.

[@GreencampRhodie]

Spray painting / pebble-dashing 😂😂😂

[@wendythomas3089]

And it's in my shoulder blades.......love this guy.....no one makes me laugh like Breuer

[@Lisaparker838]

Oh man 😂🤣😂 the sound effects are spot on excellent 👍😆😆😆 laughing so hard my stomach hurts 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣💞😆😆😆

[@CrazyGuysDoubleTapGaming]

the california fires lmao lol lol lol jim your a genius!!!

[@mookyyzed2216]

8:20 "How do you feel? What? 😦" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@czilla9045]

Breuer you're friggin awesome. I'm a mess everytime I watch. I'm the same age as you so I get it. You ROCK!

[@tjroicub6079]

I’m watching this again; saw him do this live a few years ago. I’m having my third colonoscopy tomorrow so as you can imagine I can totally relate to this

[@manicmamc291]

Getting a colonoscopy this week. This video is making me feel a lot better lmaooo

[@billdivine9501]

“It was horrifying!” 😩 yep, pretty much sums up my experience. Had my first one. Don’t ever want to do that again.

[@kehreyannedean6315]

Hysterical!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@lorendunn9309]

He ain’t bullshittin. It truly IS the best sleep.

[@drorzohar43]

Got me crying laughing 😂😂😂

[@emitindustries8304]

I've had a dozen of these things, and he's right. Especially when you start to levitate over the toilet. That's spectacular.

[@thehonkening1]

That powerhosing bit was one of the funniest things ive ever seen

[@krisquigley4497]

My father said it was like passing yarn soaked in kerosene.

[@kellypilant9176]

Never thought of it that way, but that describes it to a T.

[@xRADxRYANx]

OH MY HELL! "Do you have any chapstick?" That killed me. LOL

[@LuLzezRoflcopter]

Where can we rent the whole special?

[@medicbabe2ID]

I've had several and the prep is the worst part. I was pooping out things the neighbors ate. Just remember, it's not the camera you have to worry about, but the 5' of cable behind it 😉

[@KSDVLmom]

Colonoscopy sleep just hits different. Funny cuz that's what I always tell people getting their first.. Happy napping

[@mattgonzalez4457]

I woke up telling the nurse it was incredible 😂

[@Kaidona]

Oof. I had one of those a year ago. You get the gallon of plastic-flavored colon cleanse and by the end of the night you've burned your asshole out. Nobody warned me about that, felt it for the next day and a half. My advice to anyone scheduled for one: get a bidet. Always turn it on as soon as you sit down. The more dilute it is on the way out the better, and the best way to do that is to spray while you purge. i uh... didn't quite have that luxury despite the family owning one on account of someone poisoning themselves at the same time and puking all goddamn night. I was among the youngest in the family to get one--barely 32--and it was part of a series of tests searching for a reason I was losing so much weight without trying. All tests came back normal, just some calcified areas on my spleen in a CT scan. If you're female going in for one, you get the added joy of pissing in a cup so they can verify that you're not pregnant (they're not allowed to just take your word for it at UMass). I was still awake when I was rolled into the examination room, but I was out cold before the camera went in.

[@HellaStokedGarage]

Omg Fkn hilarious, got mine next month can’t wait for the nap 😮

[@willa2365]

I laughed so hard. Thanks. 😅

[@namcat53]

Do you have any chopsticks? Genius.The unconscious/consciousness bit is the fastest/best explanation of the mind I've ever heard....up there with Richard Pryor's bit on being high on LSD. And the whistling on the beach...SO funny. Only someone who has gone through this knows. One day we won't have to do this procedure; they can just look at you and tell instantly. Thanks again Jim!

[@beano_burrito]

Chapstick*

[@CreatureOutOfTime]

Ladies and Gentlemen, Jim Breuer, comedian who can stretch a fart joke to 10 minutes and it remains funny

[@namcat53]

I don't know if I should tell my colonoscopy doctor about this...on second though, he already knows about this because he's a very hip guy and my hero. Thanks Jim! I hope I can see you sometime.

[@JohnSmith-er1ds]

When he came to...while talking with god may be the funniest bit ive ever head I laughed for 10 minutes. What a genius.

[@Fiona2254]

Spot on 🤣🤣🤣

[@hermanboing8489]

Holy fuck this funny! I've got a headache!!! Thanks!!!!

[@jramsey9690]

Exactly right.

[@darthsimmons6957]

I was listening to this, while driving truck. I almost crashed because I couldn't breath, & couldn't see, through the tears of my laughter! "Now competing in the MEN over 50 colonoscopy patient category!"😆 "Oh, God!" "Don't let this happen to me!"🤣 As an adult MAN!"😆 Putting out wildfires by parachuting in, the men over 50 colonoscopy patient Division! 😆🤣😆🤣😆🤣🤣

[@brokeeper2007]

I can’t believe you started drinking the formula before you were home, because once you start, it does not stop. As Dave Barry wrote, you start digesting food you haven’t even eaten yet. And that sleep is wonderful. It’s what Michael Jackson got addicted to. You really understand how it happens. Of course, you have to have Dr. Evil as a pusher, but you can see how it can happen.

[@Vmaxfodder]

Breuer is the BEST !!

[@bradelliott1451]

You need a velcro seat belt for the toilet and they need to change the name from go lytly to go mightily.🤣🤣🤣

[@WILDJaeger]

Had my 1st at 50. Woke up halfway through. Dr was like, “Oh, you’re awake.” We talked the rest of the procedure. He showed me my insides on the TV monitor. Wild stuff. Worst part is when someone else wipes your butt for you with some paper towels after.

[@MikeOnTheHomestead]

Fart humor is sooooo freakin funny!!

[@kathleenking47]

We're all still 2 years old🤣

[@imhappyandyou.4003]

Yeah going and getting Roto-Rootered is pretty horrible.. The only advice I can give that is truly useful is go and get the really really soft TP or you'll regret it seriously!. 😂

[@Kobet971]

Oh my gawd you’re not wrong! I still have another two years to go until my next one. I will be taking the next day off after that procedure because I was dead exhausted even the next day. 😅

[@loreleiwebster9347]

😈☠👾👻!!! BRILLIANT !!!👻👾☠😈

[@margiehoman2870]

I worked as a GI nurse and have had colonoscopies. And this is 💯 accurate! 😅

[@poultryprincessglam-ma9298]

My last name is Bottoms. I’m a nurse and used to admit people into the clinic for colonoscopies. People would see my name and laugh and laugh so I’m sure I’m a dinner party story.

[@jeremyjohnson57]

Do you have any chapstick.....💀😫😭

[@jeffreyhutchins6527]

Best nap I have had in years.

[@brucethomson168]

The part of being knocked out is right on; I actually let out a loud Awwww! when I came out of it.

[@randyterry6793]

Been there brother!!!

[@magdachlebicka3895]

nice Motorhead vest!

[@markcastillo2757]

insanely hilarious

[@briano6115]

If my doctor asks me one more time to get a colonoscopy, Ima gonna email her this video. LOL

[@Redwulf2778]

Breuer is crazy funny!

[@robmclamb8101]

"And all of a sudden I get a gurgle...and it's in my shoulder blade."