Comstar Commercial

[@EisIzo]

The ComGuard, because Clanners probably should have remembered where the other half of the SLDF went, but instead got themselves Focht.

[@KenS1267]

Also just how many Brian Caches were on Earth anyway?

[@jonskowitz]

@@KenS1267 Enough...

[@Athrun82]

@@KenS1267 Terra doesn't have caches Terra has Castle Brians. And prior to the civil war there were 21 of those fortresses on Terra alone. Not to mention a pat of Terra's militry industrial complex survived (only to be mothballed by Comstar)

[@SMAXZO]

Don't you mean the other 20%?

[@EisIzo]

Any that switched allegiance from Kerensky or Blake don't really get to claim SLDF status anymore, and after SW1 and SW2 nearly all House controlled SLDF assets were the past tense.

[@SMAXZO]

"We sent the Clanners packing, free of charge" after inadvertently leading the Clanners to the Inner Sphere in the first place....free of charge.

[@c182SkylaneRG]

Well, the Clanners knew where the IS was, already. ComStar just got close enough to discovering them that they decided they couldn't stay hidden much longer, and it was time for their grand reentrance.

[@depthcharge126]

SMAXZO was later found at the bottom of a space elevator shaft after double tapping himself in the back of the head with a small pulse laser

[@ChocorocK]

@@depthcharge126 And the building collapsed after it mysteriously suffered a sudden structural integrity failure.

[@JohnM-hd9qi]

@@depthcharge126 "Pay your bills, fucko"

[@AncientSlugThrower]

@@ChocorocK Which was coincidentally located in the once city state of [REDACTED] prior to a fusion power plant 'coolant malfunction'.

[@steveroyal6229]

Marik and Steiner fighting again. Comstar: Keep this shit up and I’m turning off the WiFi!

[@DocDelray]

I sure am glad that Comstar is always watching everything we say and do. It makes me feel safe. And I am a real person who wasn't kidnapped in the middle of the night for posting anti-Comstar propaganda online. Anyone who says they saw guys in white robes jump me outside of the bar and then throw me screaming into the back of an unmarked van is a liar. I don't even like vans. Thank you again Comstar, you keep us all safe.

[@skyvipers]

"Comstar: Space AT&T" *Everyone after the battle of Tukayyid* "Comstar: Like AT&T, but with warships, lostech, and nukes"

[@skoshman1]

Also Everyone: Comstar REALLY wants you to pay your bills.

[@power2084]

Like AT&T, but with warships, lostech, and nukes ....and assassins

[@sailingmaster]

To quote Tex, "Pay your bill, fucko."

[@acbrown2011]

Like AT&T, but with warships, lostech, and nukes ....and assassins...and religious zealots...and an offshoot that will destroy the inner sphere in 3...2...1...

[@S810_Jr]

I like how you are all say "like AT&T but...". You don't KNOW what AT&T has right now. Maybe they have all the things that you're saying Comstar now has, maybe they have MORE, maybe they have stuff Comstar doesn't even have but are also better at keeping that a secret, hmmm hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

[@dejalpa1]

👍 To Comstar! The cause of, and solution to all inner spheres' problems!

[@uberwaffe9766]

👍 To Comstar! The *-[CONNECTION ERROR]-* solution to all inner spheres' problems!

[@treevenewson]

big government, yahoo

[@lightning1605]

@@treevenewson like seriously, somehow comstar is somehow paradoxically example of why both big buisiness and big government is bad

[@WeareroftheFez]

Uh, no Capellans are a large part of the IS’s problems…

[@fatboy7609]

That made me laugh, for obvious reasons. Be safe and well!

[@ChocorocK]

My Granddaddy fought at Tukkayid and he had to pay for the munitions he used fighting the clanners. The debt wormed its way to me and only has a 20% interest. They only break a finger if im late on the monthly deposit. Thanks Comstar!

[@RoKKr023i]

Another satisfied customer! *high-fives with bandaged hands*

[@thomasgiles2876]

With interest rates like that, you'd swear Jade Falcon won.

[@matthewcaughey8898]

Funny you mention that. I was on the other end of the battle. Unfortunately you folks just weren’t into Batchall. Not that I’m worried seeing as Clan Wolf just keeps recycling my genetic code. I’m sure I’ll be back your way again to avenge the exodus. And if I should get killed I’ll be brought back yet again, the joys of having a linage that leads back to the SLS Enterprise and the exodus

[@tywren2486]

@@matthewcaughey8898 Fake clanner spotted, real clanners don't use contractions.

[@matthewcaughey8898]

@@tywren2486 Never claimed to be anything but a Kell hound merc. That happens to be how I ended up where I did. Too much time in the inner sphere will do things to you. While my genetics trace back to the exodus, I personally have long been a Kell Hound. ( the clan wolf merc unit sent in for reconnaissance )

[@jonskowitz]

Comstar, your number-one choice in the Inner Sphere. And we intend to keep it that way.

[@Maximum_Bacon]

Your ONLY choice in the inner sphere. Fixed it for you!

[@jonskowitz]

You say toh-may-toh, I say toh-mah-toh.. it's all about how you spin it!

[@thatoneleftist]

My mouse pointer became unresponsive to my control, then moved over and clicked “Like” by itself. This is ok, since I was going to do that anyway, but I was caught off-guard. Apropos of nothing, I sure do love Comstar!

[@dtrujillo1180]

To prevent that problem be sure to install some extra ROM to your pc. Works like a charm

[@TheInsomniaddict]

@@dtrujillo1180 I found that after installing the latest ROM patch, my datapad automatically replies to email with attachments based on my previous user activity. It even adds a BCC to a randomized anonymous email address for "backup purposes." Thanks ComStar!

[@mikewaterfield3599]

Comstar can neither confirm nor deny the existence of star league over ride codes. Comstar can confirm that if such codes DID exist comstar would never use them in an irresponsible way.

[@TertiusVarus]

I'm a simple man. I see a space telecommunications company that owns me and reads all my messages, I upvote.

[@thomasgiles2876]

Oh sure, They can hear the clanners across the vastness of space, but if I want to play Mechassault 2 their HPGs are down.

[@tarantulathree-one8013]

The Word of Blake remembers their grudges well, commander.

[@Zanderith]

A Verizon ad before a ComStar commercial. Lovely.

[@michaelmclaughlin261]

Meta

[@jaffarebellion292]

I got a Google Fi ad. And you know what? I think that might actually be scarier.

[@saeyabor]

Wait, that wasn't just a "classic" SomStar ad?

[@ImBarryScottCSS]

I'll take my chances with ComStar thanks.

[@chrissheffield5468]

My name is Thomas Marik and I approve this message.

[@GhostBear3067]

Which Thomas Marik?

[@chrissheffield5468]

@@GhostBear3067 "Can we table this matter till a later date?"

[@treevenewson]

Lmao

[@muninrob]

"Comstar..." *video pans in on long tom artillery piece* "reach out and touch some-one" *video pans in on Locust recieving a direct hit from a long tom battery*

[@WeareroftheFez]

All called in using a 500 year old Mickey Mouse phone

[@ScorpiusZA.]

Just see what happens when you don't pay your phone bill. Part of me was expecting to see a shot at the Capellans here.

[@wormwoodbecomedelphinus4131]

8/10, not enough "Word of Blake".

[@TheInsomniaddict]

Yo, you can't say that out in public, yo!

[@Deridus]

Hmm... Nope. I'm just fine back here in the Fortress Republic.

[@ArchAngelWC]

indeed the video lacked toasters and therefore is not porn

[@legiomortis7677]

I don't think i was wrong when i misheard "Comcast" instead of "Comstar"

[@TheStargateNerd]

I, too, am both and excited and terrified for when Comcast unveils its branch of heavily armed battlemechs when it overthrows the government.

[@Mauther]

To be fair, Comstar at least works.

[@LarsBlitzer]

@@Mauther Considering their ticketing and internet billing systems are basically coded in Linux, running on a DOS shell, accessed by Windows PCs and servers, it's a minor miracle when anything works the way it's supposed to.

[@jarreddean2094]

LarsBlitzer dear god IT’s there must be in hell thats just asking for something to shit the bed

[@Yarkoonian]

@@LarsBlitzer wait. Coded in Linux? Thats on operating system? And why the fuck would you use dos still? And furthermore WHAT THE ACTUALL HELL how do you run linux on dos. wow.

[@aradunakhor6294]

Absolutely no one: Space AT&T: “Fuck around and find out”

[@Ishpeck]

The three people who sully their own honor by giving this video a "thumbs down" should think very carefully about their life's choices.

[@VladMcCain]

Don’t worry ComStar told Clan Jade Falcon where some new bondsmen are...

[@jarreddean2094]

Vlad McCain isn’t jade Falcon dead in cannon at this point

[@Tekisasubakani]

I don't think ROM will give them enough time to rethink their poor life choices.

[@VladMcCain]

Jarred Dean no smoke jaguar was the one targeted for destruction. Unless you’re talking the hero cliks era and then I’m going to say idk i stopped following the lore at the time

[@jarreddean2094]

Vlad McCain oh thanks I couldn’t remember

[@orbitalvagabond3297]

Basically everything I know about MW/BT I learned from Tex. And if I learned anything, its that FA&FO is about as ComStar as it gets.

[@DMoon612]

Just remember to light some candles while uttering praise for Saint Jerome as you utilize the keypad to initiate that phone call. I mean, nobody likes a heretic.

[@GhostBear3067]

Thus sayeth the Blessed Blake "press ctrl+alt+del"

[@HappyDuude]

Omg that is where the C in C-bill comes from..... I can't believe I'm learning from an ad

[@amaris27]

Yep Comstar Bills. Every house has their own house bills as well but the C-Bill has the most stable of exchange rates.

[@jamesperkins191]

Yeah a C-Bill is like a millisecond of HPG time. Genuine, real-life economists have worked out that a C-Bill is worth somewhere between 8 and 20 contemporary US dollars.

[@CrizzyEyes]

They're only the defacto unit of currency in MechWarrior games because you typically operate a mercenary unit, so having denominations in local currencies like Steiner kroner isn't as useful (although in the lore, mercenaries still have to deal with it sometimes anyways, like the Kell Hounds playing poker using kroners in the Warrior trilogy). Everyone needs HPG communication though so C-Bills are always valuable.

[@geoffreyentwistle8176]

This. Is. Glorious. I am reassured by the thought that I am too privileged to face the righteous wrath of ComStar first-hand.

[@dakkahead517]

Here at COMSTAR, we are Here, to help you. And we know where you live.

[@Maximum_Bacon]

Am I the only one who pictures BBwolf siting at the heart of a Tactical Operators Center in an all white suit as she sends out this PSA? With a large creepy "I'm gonna eat you" smile of course.

[@BigZaeon]

what's a bbwolf?

[@Maximum_Bacon]

@@BigZaeon The voice actor who narrates the commercial. She also has a pretty fun twitch channel. Watch BBWolfe with me on Twitch! www.twitch.tv/bbwolfe?sr=a

[@Dropbaud]

Watch'd the origional broadcast, and yet again the repeat. Would watch again 10/10, Thank you Comstar!~

[@Chromevod]

Remember, Comstar is listening to your feedback.

[@jjtninja]

"As I listened to this, I saw some strange pale-looking ships show up overhea-" *Signal Error.* [We apologize for this inconvenience. Thank you for choosing ComStar!]

[@maxpower3990]

The only choice you have is Comstar or using you’re Junpships to physically hand deliver the messages.

[@Terroreyes-j8l]

When Twitter, Google, and FB merge, I hope they call the newco., Comstar.

[@manwiththemachinegun]

Along with 32 Battalion SF and Lockheed Martin...

[@TheInsomniaddict]

@@manwiththemachinegun And the Catholic church.

[@Tekisasubakani]

At that point it'll REALLY suck if your family name is Amaris, since I'd expect Comstar to preempt the fall of the SL with extreme prejudice.

[@GhostBear3067]

Have to merge with AT&T Time Warner, too.

[@jamesperkins191]

Comstar is the Knights Templar in space. Word Of Blake is the Spanish Inquisition in space.

[@igor_kossov]

This video made me pay my HPG bills.

[@stevepittman3770]

I'm reminded of the Lily Tomlin skit from SNL. 'We're the phone company. We don't care because we don't have to.'

[@c182SkylaneRG]

Was that SNL? It started on Rowan and Martin's Laugh-in. I didn't know it got picked up by SNL.

[@royallison5307]

@@c182SkylaneRG They did that skit when Lily Tomlin was guest hosting in SNL . That brings back fond memories from back when comedy was funny.😄

[@witchdoctor1394]

God, we're old...

[@9301J]

We sent the clanners packing, more or less, "free of charge"

[@Prich319]

They're also responsible for the Clan invasion. Go figure.

[@BBWolfeVox]

More or less~

[@jarreddean2094]

Prich319 hey that’s not entirely true they just governed the planets taken by the clans

[@Prich319]

@@jarreddean2094 actually 100% true. Go to Sarna and look up a ship called the Outbound Light.

[@jarreddean2094]

Prich319 oh... my bad forgot about that

[@Paul_Ivanish]

Okay, I am now officially scared. Mission successful.

[@IRBitterSoB]

"Redde Creditori Tuo Fucko"

[@stevecareless6969]

I love it when I'm watching a BPL video and I get a notification for a new one. Thanks BPL. 👌👍

[@RegisTraiter]

Comstar. We know you don't have a choice of telecommunications companies, and we intend to keep it that way.

[@IMarcaI]

Comstar: the number one choice in the inner sphere. And we make sure we keep staying your only choice.

[@KenS1267]

Hi, I just found this black box while doing an archaeological dig for Katrina Steiner. It seems to have FTL communications capabilities and is smaller than a HPG station. Should I turn it over to ROM or NAIS? It is of no use to House Steiner as it is not an assault mech. Hanse Davion is willing to pay a lot more than the single bullet ROM is offering.

[@josephdedrick9337]

@@KenS1267 2 bullets?

[@L0stEngineer]

I have a sudden strong urge to pay my comstar bill.

[@WillMauz]

Clan Jade Falcon WILL set foot on Holy Terra, in Kerensky's naaaa.....me? What? Oh, um... I apologize, Operator. Yes, yes, I will hold... my Credit Card is suspended? Hm. Ok, let me call home... yes yes, I will be back.

[@leodouskyron5671]

Clans really should have paid that bill. I don’t know why they listened to Smoke Jaguar - Diamond Shark told them “You got to pay what you owe!” 😂

[@TheAKgunner]

That “Fuck around and find out” has never sounded creepier than when it’s said in that tone of voice! 😱

[@comstarpublicrelationsmack1006]

LOLOLOL! Looks like there's a ton of folks who wanna know what 50 cal feels like on their skinnnnn!!!

[@dennisthompson7921]

I keep watching this shit and IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY TIME!

[@Zues120]

Oh comstar. How I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOU

[@mk-ultraviolence1760]

You know while watching this all I could think about was that joke from south park with the cable companies and how everyone there is a self-nipple rubbing sadist. Comstar is that taken to its logical conclusion.

[@michaelmclaughlin261]

No, ComStar charges ~YOU~ for the privilege of rubbing their nipples.

[@Whipster-Old]

Haha that's freaking amazing. PAY YOUR SPACE PHONE BILL, KIDS.

[@tanith117]

Currently planning to paint Mechanicus As ComGuard, thanks Comstar.

[@Dickincorp]

OMG~! (Valley Girl voice) That was SO perfect.

[@Maximum_Bacon]

That would be BBwolf. Great voice actor and solid streamer on Twitch.

[@JohnDoe-fg4xe]

Never forget May the 20th!!!

[@lackofempathyt718]

I thought this was an at&t commercial for a solid minute

[@Fr0stbite1801]

ComStar: It's like AT&T but with more Scientology!

[@BlargleRagequit]

ComStar is so powerful they could hire a Jade Falcon star commander to voice this commercial.

[@BBWolfeVox]

Sssshhhhhhhhhhh💚

[@jlokison]

Well she lost to them in combat so Comstar bonded her.

[@AnelorGalor]

@@jlokison Now she is their vicious clan marauder

[@mikewaterfield3599]

The wolves beg to differ, that said I'm issuing a cease and desist order. The warship I found in dead space told me where comstar hides their interstellar breaker pannel. Desist the predatory utility pricing or I'll push all the buttons!

[@jlokison]

It's another Comstar trap, never trust information from random warships in dead space.

[@mikewaterfield3599]

@@jlokison the AI seemed alright to me…

[@autumnstorm5242]

"Pay your bills." - Space AT&T

[@mwhyte1979]

Comstar: your local phone company with attitude.

[@regisblue2614]

*breaths heavily in Word Of Blake*

[@tmontgomery9255]

Oh lord just laughed so hard at the last bit I shot coffee outta my nose

[@chenlee9835]

Comstar - "Remember to pay your fucking phone bill!"

[@sukul3889]

Fuck around and find out is an amazing phrase

[@Seriona1]

Comstar, we're here for you.....unless you have a Black Box.

[@johnvaclavik773]

hell yes man , so glad i found this channel.

[@theblackpantslegion]

Welcome aboard!

[@Nixolas_Zinn]

I clicked this, and I thought for a moment that this was a genuine ad, lol

[@treevenewson]

I love the old couple watching a Nuclear Explosion on a smartphone.

[@theapostatejack8648]

Nobody messes with Space AT&T!

[@3307brad]

This is the best commercial ever !!!

[@sanguiniusonvacation1803]

" Comstar, pay your bill on time. Or else !"

[@loughlan775]

I love how Operation Scorpion, and its aftereffects, are sometimes forgotten...

[@DwarfyDoodad]

The failed attempt by a psycho to stage a coup? It was a failure due to ComStar's Word of Blake fanatic ineptitude. Even if FedSuns and Draconis Combine hadn't been warned about it, it was going to fail hard, they couldn't even take control of a planet occupied by Jade Falcon forces that trusted them.

[@Gorbz]

Never forget that after 3055, ComStar's Mercenary Review Board got dumped in favour of Wolf's Dragoons looking after all those nice merc contacts.

[@inquisitordragon6827]

Comstar always actually makes me feel safe....For some strange reason... Because I'm never really a problem for them. Stay on their good side and "PAY YOUR BILLS FUCKO!", you shouldn't have to worry. Besides I rather they have my secrets, because at least they can actually keep them.

[@Ostenjager]

What happens when you put Altice/Suddenlink in charge of a galaxy’s telecommunications.

[@stuartrobertson328]

At Comstar, we value your connectivity, security and loyalty. Because nothing says 'Pay your bill's and keep paying em fucko' like a little bit of information leakage to your competitors... or a Black Lion Battle Cruiser slagging your planets from orbit.

[@mawnkey]

What, not a single "Pay your bills, fucko"? Comstar you slippin.

[@ChrisMerwin]

This was absolutely amazing.

[@foxmcld584]

1:18 : "Guys, traitor's bombing PDAs!"

[@upandaljm]

I still have a big stack of cbills from the old Succession Wars game in a drawer somewhere.

[@rainmakerroar4014]

The inner sphere: Comstar's Playground

[@jennaside2457]

That is the most awesome thing ever. Fuck around and find out lol.

[@Booozy3050]

Still nicer and all around better communications company than my last internet provider.

[@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus]

At least comstar are honest

[@michaeltreon4034]

Better customer service too!

[@jimvac77]

"We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company".

[@dekuscrublord3737]

Granted, when your equipment is that hard to maintain, and even more so to repair, you tend to not what people to touch it.

[@williambowes-xt2sm]

Comstar, because every phone company needs an army!

[@Raberuji]

F around and find out XD !!!

[@dennisthompson7921]

This gets funnier every time I watch it

[@beheadsthespiral]

@BlackPantsLegion - Thank you for this. I haven't laughed this hard since 2019.

[@raydexter9013]

Comstar: Your secrets are our secrets.

[@SMAXZO]

Comstar: Your secrets are safe.....in our databases!

[@vualt69]

I sure do love working for ComStar

[@R.A.M_000]

This made my morning! I was just thinking I needed a new space radio

[@yahaaa1343]

THIS is really good entertainment. Thanks.

[@DarkExcalibur42]

This is perfect. Feels like a Veridian Dynamics commercial

[@charlesborden8111]

Finally! Truth in advertising!😈

[@PrimarchMatterion]

The Clan fell victim to one of the classic blunders in battletech! The first being: Never get involved in a territorial war in the Inner Sphere!! But the little less known classic blunders is: Never EVER negotiate with a galactic Verizon like telecommunications company!!

[@eurocrusader1724]

Pay your bills on time.. Or you might end up meeting the pointy end of an autocannon....

[@VladMcCain]

Lmfao at least until word of Blake shows up and launches their little spat.

[@lordvonlord]

I mean they went straight to Smoke Jaguar.

[@alluringming]

Comstar and the clanners bring shame to what the star league was meant for. Imagine if kerensky saw what had become of he innersphere and what happen to those of the star league

[@commissarlugh1040]

Hey guys I think I found the jade falcon!

[@ghostfear2011]

CAW CAW

[@thatoneleftist]

If your ringtone suddenly sounds like a ticking clock, I want you to remember this comment haha

[@TheInsomniaddict]

Considering the Star League started by invading the periphery nations and destroying their economy to the point that they would die without their intervention, I'd say they're holding up the memory pretty well.

[@mexijs]

@@TheInsomniaddict yeah but when the Star League did it all their stuff was shiny and new and the lasers went more "PEW" better back then!

[@thriftjunkgaming1670]

Comstar: We Don't Give A Fuck About Your Latency.

[@3307brad]

Omfg this is great!! I play comstar on tabletop and I totally approve 👏

[@CMDR_B0B]

As a 34th century SnakeShip Salesman, I'm just here for the commercials... ...(yes my material is Stolen, let's not forget that I'm also the Official Liaison for the: 🎶 Amazonian Space Pirates🎶)... ... 13/10 , although I'm probably going to sell that to a Cross Promotional Advertising partner. Not exactly On Brand for the KMDs usual Warm Fuzzy product line. Anything to prop up our Anemic Budget (maybe replace the Air Filtration at The 'Landing too). Have Fun&Post Dangerous 'Only ship in the [*any*] Galaxy to come equipped with a soul 😇'

[@lightseeker4155]

Cannot.....this us so good I'm dying laughing, thanks B.P.L. I needed the laugh!

[@act.13.41]

I'm so glad my phone bill is paid.