Confessions (Reflecting on 2018)

Description:
This has to be the hardest video I've ever uploaded.
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Twitter: ZillionRoss?lang=en
Instagram: / zillionross
Discord: / discord
#furryfandom #confessions #imaginativelyunimaginative

[@TLARC]

To me, this is the best thing you've ever made - hands down. A year ago, you had enough trust in yourself to meet three strangers who were glad to share your company. And now, you have enough trust in other people to open yourself to them, even if only for a moment. It was a pleasure to meet you, a delight to know you and an amazing experience to witness your meteoric rise. Bring on 2019.

[@taziadelossantos6247]

This is amazing

[@shinanodafloof4491]

Amooozing

[@Achilleos995]

Yeah.

[@kardoxfabricanus7590]

Why did Eigen Rovak delete all of his shit? Did he get outed as a Zoosadist?

[@ChewyTheCat]

confession: zillion accidentally said "OwO" to someone on the streets

[@ChewyTheCat]

*bruh sound effect #3*

[@handlesRtrash354]

bruh

[@kaiyotee2475]

can relate

[@BetaEtaDelota]

You're a good boyo Zill! I'm really glad that I got know you over the span of 2018 and i'm looking forward to going through 2019 with you as well!

[@hypermorey9212]

Love you both beta and zill

[@gucciwolf3910]

OMG BEATLE EATLE DEATLE OMGGG XDDDD

[@phaserisclassic5492]

Gucci Wolf god fucking dam it you stole my idea

[@majira]

I loved this video. I'm so proud of how far you've come since I met you at MFF 2017, and I'm happy I can call you my friend. 💜

[@emeraldfox2949]

"i am now the person that me one year ago would best scared to walk up to" is probably the best quote I've ever heard a youtuber say

[@Lysirell]

Zillion, i'm literally crying with your story... look, i've had a really hard social life with people, mostly because of school. Every year of elementary school was the same story about nobody talking to me, bullying, harrassing, damaging this guy in every possible way, mostly physically. I believe it all started during my first year of elementary, with six years old, when i wanted to be friend of somebody. I was the "weird" guy of my class, mostly because i've got the higher grades and i liked a lot of things that nobody shared with me. I started by talking to people really scared because at the time i've had no friends, and the thing went well by some time, but then i got a bit annoying for some people because i didn't knew at all how to make friends. Some years passed and everything was just horrible, people started bullying me and hating me really hard, i've almost had no friends, and the ones i had were just the same kind of people that harrassed me... When i wanted to talk to somebody, they said i was stupid and just ignored me. I became very sensitive with my emotions since that, i started to become annoying with everyone just for "fun" (actually, because i thought that being bad would make me happier in some way...) I became violent, and everyone just wanted to make me feel bad... it's like a social plague, if the dominant of your classroom hates you, everyone hates you in the same way or worse. The sadness just started to make me cry every day of school... sometimes i cryed in class making everyone think "i'm not crying, i don't know what you say". Some time later, i was just plain depressed, and the only thing that started to make me feel better, was being egocentric... which i actually realized not long ago that thinking in that way was stupid... I started to act like i was someone "superior" to the rest of the people (while i'd know i'm a piece of shit) just because of my egocentrism, but... i just made it worse, a lot more worse... lots of people were planning to hurt me both physically and psicologically, and in some way, they achieved to do that. ...But... even if people could destroy me so hard to the point of wondering to commit something as horrible as suicide, i've ever had a strong point... the feeling of wanting to share myself to the people and being very comprehensive and loyal to my friends. Then, not so long ago, i've joined this amazing community, i made a friend that is like a brother for me and he helped me to overcome my depression as i made he overcome his sadness too. It was just like an entire life since everything started to go well, i feel stronger and i want to live my life as amazing as possible, i wanna share everything i like to the world in some future, as i still learning things and making good friends. Now, i'm 12, and i'm finally on a high level secondary school, people it's better with me despite everyone stills ignoring me when i wanna talk to them, but i don't care anymore. I want to give my best to the life and everyone, because that is what i most love to do. I don't have so many things to add, the rest will come in the future nwn Thanks for reading (and sorry for my bad english), i really appreciate that

[@atherofthevoid]

RuffusTheLynx i hope things continue to go well for you. Although i can only imagine how much comments zillion goes through like this.

[@Lysirell]

@@atherofthevoid Same for you, hope that life gives you the best and you have a beautiful day

[@notaserialkiller9373]

Oh my gosh, your story is very similar to mine. I was ( and still ) a weird nerd too. I was (am) bullied and I have no friends because I'm the only intellectual in my whole class, and probably the only introvert in my whole school. A year ago, I met a dude online who was 14 years old, he's weird too. I made (online) friends with him and talked to him a lot because we're one of the few Furries in my country ( I'm from Vietnam, Furries here are very rare ), he was one of the people who brought me into this fandom. So far, I still get depressed every day because people only want to be like others, they want to swing along the trends and fashion without thinking about creating differences. Please reply if you wanna discuss about this, I can tell you more. Chào ! P/s : I'm 17.

[@ImaginativelyUnimaginative]

So, I'm sorry you're getting bullied. The one thing that really stands out to me from what you said is that you see yourself as "the only intellectual" in your class. I never put myself on a pedestal above others, I find it to be ignorant and destructive and is a sure fire way for people to hate me. Be yourself but also don't hound others for not being able to understand you, because most likely they don't, and that's ok.

[@Lysirell]

@@ImaginativelyUnimaginative Thank you so much, Zillion. I know things have been hard for both of us, but now i'm trying to be as better as i can with everyone. I'm tired of acting hard with people, i don't want to be bad... You are a big motivation, i want to make a future like yours: Better, happier, and with good friends. Again, it means a lot for me that you replied to my comment. Thank you so much... I wish you the best for your life, stay strong and happy! ^w^

[@Yamiugly1]

Im not a furry but EVERYONE should see this vid. Your a great inspiration. I hope people can learn from you and become better.

[@likehell2871]

Thats true :3

[@seantaggart7382]

True

[@handlesRtrash354]

Yas

[@justjeku9246]

"I'm not a furry" said the guy who watches furry videos XD

[@msimpson4262]

Thanks for not hating us furries

[@pierelia22]

I love the fact that you used beautiful ski and mountain bike videos for the background, instead of boring gameplay like most of the other people... 🙌🏻 amazing video

[@Maveryik]

@Vixy Skunk Nah Furz V.S. Gamers is Highly closeted furz that are scared to be a furry for fear of bullying and end up hating them because they are something that they think they can never be OR they are just closed minded people who sadly can't let people enjoy their life OR they are just following a trend to get views and don't really care OR what you said OR Oar or OR (say that out loud) OR they just want attention OR I'm running out of reasons I can think of OR this has turned something semi-serious into a joke OR I'm just trying to make this or joke last OR if you read all this thanks your cool OR you missed this cuz you skipped to the bottom OR they are part of the FES-Furz Extermination Squad (i just made that up if it is real that an F)

[@seantaggart7382]

@@Maveryik OR they aren't a furry but have there own furry con at there home world ahem me!

[@Maveryik]

@@seantaggart7382 ???

[@seantaggart7382]

@@Maveryik ITS CALLED MY MIND

[@GlitchyFur]

This was a really well done video man. I’m glad you decided to stick around despite what is a *surprisingly* similar past to mine, and I know how hard it was to get through that firsthand. Love you man, keep up your amazing work ❤️

[@lovelyhassaikai7308]

once again, hello glitch, how are yah

[@Maveryik]

[@tylerwhorff7143]

Sincerity is my favorite content.

[@Aussywoo]

Confession: I know Zillion has talent.

[@berlinsforehead9481]

yes

[@snuffaluffy42]

You're a lot more honest with yourself (and us) than a lot of people on this platform, and I really appreciate that. Also, those skiing and biking clips were beautiful and terrifying.

[@TheHikariHero]

This made me cry, good job making it this far. Continue to teach and inspire. You got this.

[@astriaartz6593]

This is by far one of the most inspiring and motivating things I've seen. I'm a young fur as well as a long time artist and every day I have that moment where I ask myself "Am I good enough?" or "Am I worth all this praise?" I admit, sometimes I stare at my art and internally keep telling myself it's not good enough, never really looking at the good things about it, or mostly not even believing that there are good things about it at all. I'm glad I found this video and maybe now that I hear how you see life, I'll try thinking in that way too. Thank you for this amazing and inspiring video, Zillion, it really changed my perspective on life for the better.

[@Aussywoo]

I’m glad you got over your dark times. Realizing that the other side is always better is truly a marvelous feat.

[@peashotgaming2265]

Confession: Zillion is a furry, oh wait we knew that already.

[@thegamingdeku]

I didn't

[@ImaginativelyUnimaginative]

Wait really?

[@CorruptedKade]

He is!?!?

[@gammafoxlore2981]

Mind blown. (Explosion in the background rewinds)

[@swood5505]

Nani?!

[@hoboderg]

I’m at a loss for words.. I’ve watched countless inspirational videos and tried many methods to try and make me feel motivated to get up and *do* things, but this video alone makes me feel more motivated and inspired than all of them combined! Zillion, you’re awesome.

[@PRWolf]

8:45 Absolutely beautifully put. Been an honour to see such a great creator and great friend get the well earned success you deserve ^^ heres to another brilliant year for you!

[@TheGreatWolfYT]

Didn't expect to get so emotional, but glad it did. Somehow you gave me a feeling of positivity, hope if you want to call it that, and I thank you for that, and for all

[@gearhart9283]

I’m going to be honest here I completely understand where you are coming from and how you feel. I have gone through experiences which are near identical to yours. Many times I have thought of ending it all and sadly to this day some of those feelings persist, Luckily It has gotten better. You may not remember me as we met more than two years ago over Instagram. You were one of my biggest inspirations and I have always looked up to you as an artist and as a person. I’m so glad we met despite it being so long ago and I just want you to know how great of a person you are.

[@batfluttershy]

oh my god this is beautiful...

[@lelia408]

I love the symbolism of adding color to the videos at the end. I love the motivation you give people who have no strength left. I have been to very dark places in my life, and I am glad that you are here to teach people how to be passionate about something like art, which is something I had to learn on my own and it has left unbearable scars on both my wrists and my heart. You’re such an inspiration, and I love your channel. Keep doing what you’re doing, making people happy and giving them hope, just like you have done for me 💙

[@iamnobody748]

I can relate to your younger self. I was loud and bullied a lot (I was bullied for being the small kid). I stayed quiet after that. But at the same time I was being a jerk. When I found good friends, I finally felt accepted. They showed me that it's not bad to be myself. And to never let other's shape me into someone I don't want to be. You reflected on your past, and you helped me reflect on mine. Thank you. Ps. People still change no matter how much of jerk they are before. I know you're a good person. If not, you can still change. This video is truly inspiring.

[@seantaggart7382]

Every one can become "Changed" pun intended

[@machpf]

Zill sparked the art fire in my body that i didn't know i had, i went from shitty doodles to actually trying sometimes. The best part about it was that he wasn't fake about it, he didn't lie about the ability to do so, he made it very apparent that it was hard to do But at the same time, encouraged experimentation in his subtle actions. His ability to be honest is one to hold up to as the normal standard, this man has become a good role model He shows himself that he is a normal person, making us realize that we don't have to have 5000 different issues to be acceptable. Zillion, i know i already said this in voice chat, but i highly respect you, as a person, and an artist, you're so real, and tangable, and you don't fall into your personality being "Furry" you don't make these stupid jokes, and pander to the audience, you're your own person. I'm tired of all these furries becoming a hivemind , their ability to talk reduced to stupid furry inside jokes. Zillion, keep doing what you're doing. You're doing perfectly.

[@megamilo95]

My god. Thank you for your beautiful inspirations. Your one of my favorite furry KZbinrs

[@Wo1fymoon]

Why am I just now seeing this? This speaks to me so much and just makes me so heartbroken that you’ve gone through this. Just by seeing you on KZbin you seem like a very sweet and genuine person. Thank you for everything you’ve done for everyone Zill.

[@ArcticaTheFox]

It takes a lot of bravery and courage to be open with your audience. I am proud to see how far you’ve come on your journey not only in the fandom but in life as well.

[@Cosminox54]

I know I'm commenting on an old video, but let me tell you... I love the video. Not only did it really help me recognize who I might actually be, but it makes me realize what I did right and what I did wrong. I love art, and while I don't make the best art, its not about that. Its about knowing what you are drawing, and putting your emotions on paper. The truth is, I had a very similar past to yours funny enough. I was an annoying kid that didn't know any better, and I eventually hit a brick wall due to so many people bullying me. Almost literally in my past Elementary and middle school, I've been the laughing stock. Everyone, even the teachers to some extent bullied me. It got so bad that I nearly crashed mentally, and took my emotions out on pretty much everyone I knew... not good. After I got a chance to recover by being in K12 online schools for my high school career, I knew I was better than to be that person. But just like zillion, I didn't make it out of the pit of hell without some consequences. Even today, I'm afraid to show my emotions to just anyone, and just like him, whenever I am alone or too close or something, I get the feeling that I'm not welcomed. Despite the person actually trying to be helpful. So zillion, if your reading this by any chance, keep going. You have talent, and don't let anybody think anywise.

[@user-wr4nx3qg1v]

You are the one youtuber that helped me start drawing and show off my skill, I can’t say in words how thankful I am.

[@bvgtrash]

My eyes started sweating :,( I started rlly drawing bc of u I wanted to be a good furry drawer to draw all my fursona's and go to cons. I bet that I would be just like u at a con heh. Hearing all of this turns a whole new perspective of ur wonderful channel! And I truly hope that u would get a big channel in this year! OwO

[@mekhisagar1939]

I cried, you were so similar to how I am now. Thank you, for motivation and everything you've ever done, and ofc for being you and being honest. Ya know, I have so much on my mind after watching this but I don't have the skill to express it with words so I'm gonna keep it short. Just thank you very much ❤️

[@ImaginativelyUnimaginative]

And thank you for watching.

[@TheAwareWolfSolis]

Wow. Zillion... this is by far one of the best videos that I've ever seen. This video, even though it was about you, still seemed more about the message and others as most of your other videos are about. Your words are powerful and meaningful. They have vocalized something that I have felt for a long time, and they have made me contemplate and think even harder about the future and what I want to do. Just... Ahhhhhh.. I wish I had the words to describe exactly how this video made me feel and think, but for now, the above will have to do. Hope to see you again and Thanks for this video. Can't wait to see what you do in another year's time!

[@arrowtheprotowolf7017]

Bro..... I’m living the exact same life. Don’t feel alone. You brightened my day. You also made me tear up. Keep on doing what you are doing. Trust me, It’s working. Signed, ApexPlayZ

[@ImaginativelyUnimaginative]

I don't feel alone, and I haven't for a while. I made this video so others don't feel so alone.

[@SassyLass]

Wow, my heart started racing in my chest while I watched this, this was so powerful and motivational, my feels hurt man. Keep being the awesome person you are, keep inspiring people. You're gonna go far my dude.

[@myles432]

I subscribe to you when you had just 1,000 subscribers. I always knew you could make it this far man. Now this is the best video you have made, so well put together and meaningful I could cry at the beauty. I’m so proud of you.

[@Miksu__]

Unbelievably amazing video! Your video quality is throught the roof and your life story was really interesting

[@DJgameN8R]

I can’t wait to see more things that you enjoy and hopefully inspired more people of your art, editing & making videos and your experiences. I got little bit emotional but, as I still see you’ve made excellent progress from the past and learning some mistakes to improve for your future to come. We all like to encourage you to continue what you do best make funny content and teach & make brilliant art (and maybe make them even better than before). Good luck on your journey in 2019

[@beansummoner21]

Can I just say that the skiing footage in the background is beautiful! Since I just learned to ski right before covid hit, ive been dying to go again ever since, and this just confirms that. Great video ♥️

[@thetetons744]

You were the guy who got me into the fandom. Thanks for being a cool dude! Hope your 2019 is even better than 2018!

[@elizabethlane47]

I can relate to this video and that’s why I love it. I personally loved this video, because of how heart touching it is to share this with us. I hope that life continues to get better! Your videos have opened up many doors and hallways filled with more opportunities than I could imagine and I love you for it. Cheers to a new year and a new beginning!

[@mangus8759]

This is the most inspirational thing I’ve ever seen. And it’s honestly really helped me get through some hard times. Thank you! ❤️

[@lelafesta6153]

This is one of the best videos I've ever watched. It's not the funniest, it's not the most informative, but it was the most inspirational. Your words really touched me, and helped me to realize how to approach the upcoming year better than any motivational speaker's bs. I (hopefully) am going to take your words to heart. Thank you so much. I really needed this right now, and I'm glad you didn't joke about it. The things that affect us deeply for so long a time are the hardest to talk about, but once the words are spoken, they can help others so, so much. And that's what you did for me. Again, thank you.

[@folfcreations8929]

Hands down, this is truly amazing. You’ve been one of the biggest inspirations to me in this fandom where I’ve finally started my hand in working with art again, and hopefully, one day I’ll be able to attend a con and meet you! Thank you for everything you’ve done and you’re amazing, and keep up the good work! And may we all have better years to come 🤗

[@innovationproductions6637]

Toughest people are born from the ashes of failure and kneeled by the crucible of hard work and passion. Wow that is extremely strong, I hope that what is in your future will lead you to new adventures, good or bad, it does not matter, a person with that attitude will always find ways to grow stronger, and it's all done by yourself, be proud of it.

[@schraeder22]

I relate so much to this, because same as you, I've been struggling with this kind of stuff for quite some time. Ironically, your videos are part of those little things that can cheer me up sometimes. This video especially kinda made me see, that there are people around, who really do care about me and it made me appreciate them even more. You're an extremely strong person and an inspiration :)

[@ABuggsMind]

honestly Zillion this is for you, You may think you don't inspire people but you inspired us and all of you're subs

[@taketime1290]

This video is pure beauty. I absolutely love it and I can relate to your experiences. You opened yourself to us and I wish you the biggest of luck.

[@Rivensdusk]

For what sense or non-sense this may or may not make...When I first saw your "Why Did I Film This MFF 2017" I thought it was your 22d or 26th con you've been to...I laughed like I haven't in a long time after watching it...I still watch that video and the other "Why Did I Film This" when I need to remember to laugh...If you lost the few friends you came with, were alone, isolated, anxious, and scared...The exact opposite of that was reflected in that video...There's amazing and then there's that...After seeing this I have to watch it again..."Seek Discomfort" and you did it in spades...That first con video will always remind me...Now I literally have no excuses to do the same, when I find myself in a similar situation...Thank You Again.

[@tundraroo8554]

Amazing video, Zill. Can’t describe how inspiring this was. Also, along with everyone else, there was some crying to be had. Too pure 😭

[@Elkett]

Hey zillion, you helped me keep with art even with your live streams, drawing tutorials and your other videos, they always seem to cheer me up no matter what, also "WE DID IT"

[@IonicFalcon]

This was probably one of the most impacting messages and important videos that I've ever watched; with no exaggeration. Thank you for making this. 2018 was probably the hardest years in my life, but I am glad that I'm still here. I would love to meet you in the future. You are probably my biggest inspiration

[@fernrivers3152]

I knew that you were an awesome person when I first found your channel, but in addition to that, I now have an endless amount of admiration. Thank you for sharing your experiences, for making this video and all the others you have and will make. Thank you Zillion

[@derharkil]

First I wanna preface this by saying, I'm incredibly happy to hear that you managed to get on the path away from your low points. Everything you mentioned about your past resonated with me, hard, as I went through a lot of the same things (and honestly still am to and extent) even if in my own way. I will say that I look forward to seeing this next year with ya, cause I may have only joined this ride halfway through 2018, but I definitely plan on staying as long as I can. Keep on being you.

[@asher7326]

This was super inspirational and now this video has made me think about how my fan art for you is going to turn out. I send so much love towards you and your friends.

[@dreamenvoy1530]

Even though I was here for the premier, it has taken me quite a while to think up of a response. I can connect with the fact that I was also that socially awkward kid, and even now I tend to feel rather lonely. That's part of the reason why I joined this community, to hopefully meet and connect with people. I'm glad you started doing videos because over the course of just one year you have inspired me and so many other people. I hope that someday I can be just as inspirational.

[@cybruswolf9354]

Thank you, not only have you told us about you, and the honest version of you, but to me, and many other people, you have given a new hope and inspiration. The first half of this video described my life as well, and this information is beyond true. I was crying as I watched this video, not because I was sad, but rather because I was inspired by what you have said. To me, this was more than just a video, and it was more than just telling us about your life, to me this was a connection, and I have finally found someone who has shared the same past, and some of the same experiences with. I know I’m not the only one out there who says this, but I’m one of the few who is willing to say it!! Thank you for the hope, the passion, and the inspiration. Hope to see another video soon!!

[@robertfillion7290]

This has quickly become one of my favorite videos. You were willing to talk to people that you looked up to while many of us feel uncomfortable commenting on a video( me included) sincere videos seem to always hit me hard. This is at the top, I can relate to your past in many ways and you have progressed further than me. I would love to be noticed by you because I look up to you ( art, the fandom, and my past fits with yours). Just like you the fandom has saved me from myself. I rarely get noticed by anyone both online and in life so hopefully you will notice this. Thank you for reading this, can't wait for your next video.

[@ShardWintreswolf]

It comes from an odd place of my own to admit this, but I needed to hear this today. I always love being social, but I do have a part of me that I don't express often. It's nice to hear someone else's perspective. Even if I've known almost all of the things you said here when it comes to encouraging myself, but sometimes we need a reminder, y'know? I've been in the fandom for about 8 years now. I've met a lot of people, learned a lot of things, and my life has changed, and changed again. So, thank you. And I do really hope to meet you sometime, both as an artist and as a person Cheers, and happy new year!

[@jaythewolf246]

this is what I like to see you from content creators they don't forget where they came from they don't forget where their rooms were they don't forget how they came to this they do remember the sacrifices and what happened in their younger years they do know that they have made some terrible mistakes they know that they may have not been popular or the most generic person but you to bring up very good points and you're sort of speech about how you have changed throughout your life and I applaud each and every content creator that is able to do this to let it out to other people know I'm a person too I go through suffering physical emotional but like you said those people do not fail the first try there's something may succeed the first time but those who rise from the ashes of their own failure to make something beautiful like you you're sort of depressing past and then now creating tutorials for people who would like to work at raw and do what they love so right now you are pretty much my favorite all-time KZbinr New furr-

[@gotholotl2221]

This was really well said. I got emotional over this, I get inspired by some of your art, I try, and fail, but when I came to this video, I realized that everyone does, just like you I was scared at my first convention, you are so inspiring.

[@Stormwolf4]

I found you originally from your art tutorial, and I loved the video for what it taught as well as the humor in it. I then looked through your past video to find your con videos. I've always been terrified to go to a con, as well as being scared to even talk about it. But seeing the fun you had through each video and just the good time of the whole thing really helped push me to try. Still haven't been to one, but I have plans. Your videos really show me how just going out and having fun can be truly worth it, and for me, I've been pushing myself ever since to try and say and do more. I have a plan to at least shake your hand once for being the person to help me push out if my boundaries as well as being such an entertaining person. I'm excited to see more from you and to hopefully greet you at a con!

[@scwolf81]

I almost stopped watching this in the first few moments, but glad I kept watching .. Fell into a pit of darkness myself for a long time and decided rather than give up this year to make change, Like you said That leap of faith is scary but if you never take it how will you ever know. I will bookmark this video as a push in the right direction, Thanks for a bit of hope

[@elzargiandro4627]

I know how you feel about being bullied in elementary school, cuz ive been there myself. Got bullied for 5 years until l got social anxiety and afraid of talking to people till this day. Thank for sharing this video as it has inspired me to overcome my fears, you are the best :D

[@tronytroo]

KZbin decided to put this in my suggestions. I decided, "Okay looks like i missed a fun video form a while back". Boy was I wrong. I am glad I saw this. I learned a lot. Hell I even cried while watching this. You inspire me Zill, a lot more than I expected.

[@PlasmaJar]

You hit a lot of points that hit close to me, and I really appreciate that you say that life isn't perfect, you hit some road blocks, even when your young, but you saying I will get up again not unscathed, but having the scares that say I tried and will keep on trying to be on a path that feels right. Thank You

[@scawafflez]

This is so beautiful and emotional, it made me tears. I wish I can give you a virtual hug. but to be honest you are my favourite artist because you do inspire me; not just me but many other people to, and I am very glad to find you in the first place Zillion. Keep goin up Zillion! ❤️

[@SpeakAti]

Okay this actually made me cry??? You’re an absolutely amazing person Zil, and thank you so much for being here-!!

[@artboat9462]

I know you’re probably never gonna see this but I really look up to you. Not only for your amazing skiing and biking but also for getting through those hard times. Just a year ago I was super depressed and felt the same way, that everyone thought I was annoying and just a burden. Especially that ‘wanting to be quiet but can’t help but talk’ part. I’d get upset at myself for not being able to just shut up. I still get upset at myself but I’m in a much better place now even if I did just loose most of my friends.. Edit(add on): it would be amazing too meet you but like you said with the people you looked up too, I doubt I’ll be able to meet you or I’d just get too nervous too. Liking this comment, knowing you’ve seen this, makes me so happy. Thank you for making such amazing videos. Been with you since 10,000 subs

[@imaginaryjin]

This video brightened up my day, thanks Zill. We're all proud of you ^^

[@manuellorenzo3073]

I do have to admit, this video does make me feel better about myself. Yeah, it was bad that you had to deal with such doubt and conflict within yourself, but it really shows that even the best people have hard times themselves. All I can say is that this is why I still keep going, because of having to go through the obstacles, the challenges, all of us together. Wether easy or hard, I’ll still always keep going no matter what challenges await for me. Thanks for the awesome video Zill, and thank you for continuing to push yourself through life. It comes to show that amazing things really can happen if you keep trying and keep going.

[@protogen_apollo]

This is quite beautiful. Not just because of the snow, not because of the music, but because of the message.

[@britishninja1809]

If I’m being perfectly honest, I’ve been drawing for my entire life but it was only a few months ago that I realised that using construction lines properly could really improve my art overall. And by no coincidence whatsoever, it was a few months ago that I started watching this channel’s videos. Somehow you were the first person to actually convince me to stop being a lazy ass and actually use construction lines, which is a goddamn miracle, so thank you very much for that. I have you to thank for my sketches being more dynamic and anatomically correct now, although I still have a lot of room for improvement (and practice, of course). Then there’s the other tips I rarely hear about, particularly using line art to show how far something is from the perspective depending on the thickness of the lines. Overall, you’ve been a really positive influence on my art and the con videos were truly the cherry on top. Thanks for everything, mate.

[@recoilcoyote2547]

Very inspirational, to hear your story and how far you've come. Its good to hear that there are still people out there who have been pushed to their limits and still only want to help others with a burning passion, an unquenchable desire, and a heart to do so even if it takes everything out of them. Keep doing what your doing and you can help more people than you could ever imagine.

[@she8922]

I really liked this video, it definitely gave us all a more intimate view of who You are. Which makes you even more relatable - thank you so much for making this

[@lekn8220]

nice job on the video, it was really inspiring and heartfelt because i also had a time when i felt like i needed to surpress my emotion and thought, glad you got through it and made this video, it might help others who experienced the same! keep up the good work zillion!

[@idkk6254]

You just gave me more motivation than one year of therapy. Thank You for such a beautiful video.

[@bankai1211]

Zillion...I've only been watching your videos for about a week now but I can honestly say that you are one of my favorite people on the internet. You're so charismatic and inspiring. Even a week ago I would have never considered getting a fur suit or going any further down this rabbit hole....but because of you, you specifically....I want to. Your past is almost identical to mine, with the one exception of I let myself get consumed by my depression...but seeing the wide spread acceptance of this community through your eyes made me hopeful again...so thank you ^_^ and I can't wait to meet you at some random con some day

[@NaomiCloudlee]

This was beautiful

[@euts2557]

I've got to be honest, pretty much right now I'm doing the thing that you have done. I've always wanted to draw, and sure, while I was inspired by artists, you were the one who told me and many others "Ok, here's how you get to it." Before, I always just dreamed about making art, and showing it, making creations. But I always grounded myself, saying "Stick to reality. Get your degree. Get a job. Maybe 10 years you can get into it." Videos like these are the reason there's a part of me that says "Do it NOW. There's nothing stopping you." Thank you so much Zillion. You're the reason I can find the strength in me to pick up the pencil and improve myself.

[@ukiryah]

You know I've never seen such an inspiring video in my life. Honestly I am that person who is scared to talk to people (it showed the most at my first furmeet last January and first convention back in November) I want to change but I find myself in this loop of "Oh they're gonna think I'm weird and just ignore me or tell me to leave". Winter is one of the worst times of the year for me as well because I have SAD (Seasonal Affecting Disorder, which is just a fancy name for depression during Autumn and Winter), which doesn't help me during school and when I'm in any social situation (great example; I was just at a family birthday party and talked to almost no one other than my cousin and listened to music). I would like to put what you said into practice, and I hope I can without feeling like a total failure. Thank you for the video, it made me feel quite emotional in a good way (legit almost cried) and maybe I will become a more social person. Hecc, maybe one day I'll be at a con and have the courage to say hi to you. I hope you have a wonderful 2019 Zillion.

[@CitrusFoxArts]

Halfway through the video I'm already in tears because I relate so much And I really hope that when I get through all that I'm going through I hope I can be a good person, like you. I want to help people. You're an amazing person.

[@FaireRoquen]

Literally in tears. It takes so much strength to survive and share everything so openly so don't ever let anyone tell you different. You are an amazing person. 💜🦊

[@ricardoz5686]

Just another inspired viewer here, and I must say, wow. I'm blown away. It's great to hear about how much you've changed and grown over such a short amount of time. Thank you for all the great content you share with us.

[@Marishik23]

Thank you Zill, this is the reminder of "make the best out of this year" i needed. I started the year with optimism, but by now it sorta went out, and i felt lost. But you reminded me that a fail actualy means growth. Your "future fursuit", best fursuit ^^

[@DragonFyr3]

I like to come back and watch this again every so often. Even though it's your story with your experiences and growth, I find it very grounding to watch.

[@EmorettOfficial]

Thank you so much Imaginatively Unimaginative, I definitely relate to your story and understand what you went through, as I'm currently in a tricky place in life. My situation, being 16 and not knowing where I fit in, it's incredibly hard for me sometimes whether it be at school, with my friends outside of school, or within even my own family, it definitely eats at me sometimes. But thanks to this community, as well as your videos, I've been able to feel like there's a community that wholly gets me and can actually give me the help and happiness I need. This video resonated with me wholeheartedly. Thank you! ♥️

[@ImaginativelyUnimaginative]

Good! Because at 16 that was the point where I wanted to end it all so knowing that you are in a better spot than I was at that age because of my help and others like me brings me happiness.

[@ernestc.9660]

Zillion, you have inspired me so much to grow as an artist and a person. Seeing your perspective and how you've grown inspires me to do the same. I can somewhat relate to this video, and I want to thank you for opening my eyes. It doesn't matter who we used to be, it only matters what we make ourselves in the future. As a shy person, I didn't think I would be able to talk to any of my idols either, but you just changed my mind entirely. You deserve every subscriber you have, and I look forward to every video and Livestream in the future :) Thank you for the inspiration

[@Fleabag80]

Wow. I think most inspiration videos are fake but this really got to me. Its so great and inspiring. I loved it! I love your channel

[@tyyote3037]

I relate to this so much. Thank you for your videos, you made drawing seem accessible to me. I had a hard time trying to learn because I was discouraged from learning as I grew up, but I am trying now at 27 because you made it possible and you taught in a way I could understand without being too intimidating. I understand your point of feeling like a third wheel and I hope to push past that myself when I go to my first con (planned to be Furlandia 2019). I have friends and can talk to people I know pretty easily but I have a hard time starting off a conversation so I hope that I can relax and let myself meet people there.

[@ImaginativelyUnimaginative]

Well I hope to see you there.

[@redworm7]

When you were talking about how you suppressed your emotions because you only thought that you were annoying I cried. I realized how similar this is to my life. Sometimes i don’t that my friends really know all that much about me. The only way that I have even stayed sane is by just being myself and doing whatever I want when I am alone. Thank you for making this video.

[@gagemandl2792]

And we are all proud of you. You've really came very far as not just an artist but as a person as well. You're an inspiration to me and probably will always be. Stay PAWsome and don't forget who you truly are! >w

[@lyr_0]

This really is a piece of art and wisdom. Beautifully edited and amazingly told.

[@bellathegreat2539]

This is a well aging video. Like. Fr. I am totally going through this rn. It is inspiring to know you made it out of the dark without loosing your sight of the light. It makes me think I'm going to get through this. One small step at a time :)

[@Black-plague666]

Zillion, this is very touching. This really relates to me on a personal level. I am suffering from depression, insomnia, and anxiety with many more. So talking to people is pretty hard and I just think overall I'm a person nobody can really stand. I've always been alone, as a matter and fact I'm alone right now as I type. You may probably never see this, but I just wanna say thank you. This.. This kinda gave me hope into thinking it isn't always going to be this way.. I really like that. I wish someday I can have friends and be able to express myself, other than repressing my emotions all the time. Your childhood is very similar to mines, Bullied, sensitive, becoming the bully, Emotionless. Everything just kinds relates to me. I don't bully at all anymore, or let alone speak to anyone. My anxiety just gets so bad.. So I have no friends whatsoever, I've just became friends with loneliness. So hearing this, gives me hope. It gives me hope that one day this will maybe change. Thank you, Zillion. :') this really means a lot.

[@ImaginativelyUnimaginative]

I'm glad the video was able to connect to you. And if there's one thing I learned from depression is you are never as alone as you may think. Depression has a way of convincing your psyche that you are completely alone. Well it is almost certain you are not. The main thing I would suggest is finding a group of people that share a common interest to you and start talking to them. weather that be online or in person.

[@Black-plague666]

@@ImaginativelyUnimaginative Thank you.. I'll try a lot more now. You don't know how much this helped. I know I keep saying this, but really. Thank you. :')

[@SoftSpecter]

This video sends such a powerful message I love it. Also the footage of the biking skiing was cool

[@wolfbane3159]

Almost jerked a tear out of me there man. This was probably the most inspiring thing I've seen in a long time. So glad you could share it with everybody, that's really awesome man!

[@charger8624]

This is so inspiring, this has made me have a creative wave! Thank you for this, even if it was harder to do, let's go in hard this next year!

[@jcarroll4385]

Holy shit, this video was beautiful, not because of the video footage but because of all of the inspirational things you said. Thank you, Im glad I was able to hear this from someone I look up to that has a somewhat relatable past and I feel like I’m not the only one that needed to hear that. Thank you Zillion

[@Nevaedan]

Hey Zillion, I just want to say that you're one of the persons that inspired me to start learning how to draw and that made me want to join the furry fandom. I have a great time watching your videos. I just joined the fandom very recently but I hope I'll stick around for long and meet many people. So thanks and have a great year of 2019.

[@kenz2892]

This is such a great video for motivation! I feel so inspired to continue getting better with my art and be the best I can be!