Conflict and Hatred in the Family - Marian Friars Minor

On Preserving Peace and Charity in the Family through Structure and Order.
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Special thanks to the Marian Friars Minor for their contribution of this talk.
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[@SensusFidelium]

𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝐑𝐒𝐁𝟏𝟎 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝟏𝟎% 𝐎𝐅𝐅 romanseraphicbooks.com/books

[@soroushfetkovich5084]

My American born cradle Catholic husband didn’t teach our sons the moral law and every time I the Iranian born ex Muslim reminded him of the teaching of our Catholic faith he exclaimed that we don’t live in a Muslim country. Sadly now our 17 years old son says the most horrible words to him and me. I grew up in a way that honoring my parents doing chores helping them was not an option, we did it because we were told we will burn in hell and that we will have a miserable life here in this life if we don’t. It is surly the parents faults and not the kids. Disunity starts in a family when the head of the family the father is not abiding by God’s laws and commands.

[@leedixon4228]

Pray to the Lord for your family, it is God who can change hearts. Just continue to be a loving wife and mother. It worked for St. Monica and it worked for my family. God bless. 🙏

[@WhiteChocolate74]

Yeah it's the man's job. I'm sorry that happened. I'll keep you in my prayers

[@leedixon4228]

It's true that it's the father's job to lead the family. But what if he is not fulfilling that responsibility and is lost? In my case, my spouse was a good husband and father at first, but when he became successful in his career he became proud of his achievements. He didn't have time for us anymore, he had an affair and left us. I know that divorce is not an option. With a broken heart I lifted everything to God. Together with my children, in their early teens, we prayed for him. We know that the battle is not against flesh and blood but against the powers of this dark world that wants to destroy everything that is good. After several years my husband came home for good. He repented and became a loving husband and father, a good provider and leads the family in prayer. I also became a better person than before. We all had a conversion. Praise be to God.

[@annsaunders5768]

With the teachers who have convinced our children the Christian way does not work, the movies and TV shows that indoctrinate the communist socialist agenda to our kids, we must find a way to lovingly show them these teachers were wrong. That Christ way works. We have commandments that show us the way but it's up to us to bring the Christian way about once again. When Mohamed came up on the scene the middle east was a place you could get an education in mathematics at least, but no discoveries or advancements came after Mohamed's way took over. Moslems serve destructive means mostly, Christians it should be the opposite.

[@RayNaraine]

Absolutely. And…. Sad. This is why Adam’s sin was greater than Eve’s sin.

[@jimvermeer9451]

My family is ripped apart. Because I am Christian and they are atheist and now they do don't speak to me anymore and some of my members are so worldly they Lie and attacking my mother because she is not from this world. I pray for them every day. But I am glad that I have Jesus Christ and it makes me love him more every day.

[@simonslater9024]

If you are Catholic then you are Christian! If you are not Catholic then you are not Christian. Remember there’s ONLY ONE CHURCH. Please watch the warning or illumination of conscience by Christine Watkins. The Papacy can NOT be destroyed. Don’t call protestant’s Christian! (because there’s ONLY ONE CHURCH). Following padre Pio. God bless.

[@dougthompson2914]

I too, will pray for your family. Lord, may You be with the family of @jimvermeer9451, may You turn their hearts towards You, give them eyes to see You and ears to hear You. May each and every one of them come to know You and Your Love. May You heal their wounded hearts, and restore their family to unity. May You bless them and their future, their children and their grandchildren, and may You see them all safely into the light of Your eternal salvation. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, amen.

[@jamesrice6096]

Praise God for the grace you've received for strength and patience. Weak supporters and non-committal Catholics are the bain of the church. Even if you gave in to all their views they would give less respect, not more. Praying for God to give them the grace of seeing the truth.

[@Angelina6518]

I had to fight for my family’s soul too. Well worth it. Never give up. I’ll put yours in my Eternal prayer basket. Pray the St. Raphael’s prayers daily with the chaplet of St. Michael and Divine Mercy too. Courage! You were born for this!

[@tzm777]

The Blessed Virgin Mary is your spiritual mother and St. Joseph is your spiritual father. When you unite with Jesus, this becomes more apparent - and of course, God is The Father to us all. Jesus did say that faith in Him would cause division in our earthly families. Worth it! You are all in my prayers. 🙏🏾❤️🕊️

[@CatholicMailman]

I thank GOD for my parents, they are very catholic and pro life that’s why I am here today. Those pro abortion people don’t realize they wouldn’t be here if their parents were pro abortion. May GOD save and protect all unborn babies.

[@tinakathleen8571]

I revall how my Dad used to lead us in holy rosary each night even if we had visitors. The visitors were expected to pray along if they were to stay.

[@drdelaur]

The “bad kid” loved and respected you because he knew you loved him enough to not give up on him. He tested your love for him and you passed the test.

[@Mike_and_Ike-xb3io]

Meditating on the mysteries of the rosary (patience, detachment from things, Mary’s humility, obedience) has helped me, but it took me a lifetime to understand this. As a Catholic father and husband, it is very difficult to navigate the world. But my wretched life has caused the conflict. In reparation for my past, I have tried to imitate Christ, but it is a daily discipline of prayer, reading scripture, and meditation - still I fall daily. My family has remained in the “church”, but when I get down to the nitty gritty of true teachings, it creates conflict. For example, when a Catholic niece gets married outside the church, and I mention we cannot go to the wedding, it creates a firestorm. There are many Catholics who do not hold true to Christ’s teachings because they want to stay in the world. I will pray for you all going through turmoil.

[@triciaborger7746]

This talk should be heard at all the Pre-Cana classes..it’s wonderful!

[@StanislausJoseph2021]

May God bless you, Friar!

[@Aunt-Cookie]

Please, friar, by all means offend me. 😂 I always appreciate the frankness. 🎯

[@marilynBgood]

😂YES! Bring it!!🤣

[@dccatholic2455]

Great talk. My wife and I have had deep troubles in the past; her with abuse and me with noncommittal father in terms of leading family. When I step up to lead, my wife rarely follows me. Says she will never be submissive; fear of her father. I hate being the head because I have the wrong idea of God the Father. Any prayers are welcome. Still this talk helped me. Thank you brother!

[@pattycallahan999]

You are a great man. You are leading your family.James chapter 1 says how.

[@veronicaf9444]

Great talk!!! I raised children and grandchildren and I heartily agree with you. Parents that provide structure, consistency, guidance, and firmness with love will make for secure and happy children.

[@twenty-eightrock]

If every Catholic school had priests come in and give talks such as this instead of teaching them that Adam was a monkey, we'd be in a much stronger position.

[@mm.adoremusihs]

Glory to God! May God reward you for speaking Truth! I needed to hear this! This is the answer for my family and so many other.

[@fionamort5837]

Absolutely great talk God bless you 🙏🌹❤️☘️

[@dmhOFS]

The peace I feel thanks to God and to my parents that I honored and was obedient to since I can remember, I still follow their rules and counsel and they passed away a few years ago. Ave Maria!!!

[@gladatusbob4497]

What is rarely mentioned is the love and humility that should be present in anyone who has situational authority. People will often hate doing stuff because the person who compelled them to is arrogant and dismissive. It is still a good thing to do them of course, it will be their cross, but it is abhorrent how people who have any kind of authority think better of themselves when in fact the person that listens deserves an incredible amount of respect, in fact that person who serves for the love of Christ will be greater in heaven. This is so rarely understood that very often the whole hierarchy turns into an oppressive structure and people have to suffer and when they get promoted they do the exact same thing, this happens when there is no True love, and then people wonder why their kids want nothing to do with them, or they hate spending time with them. People hate hierarchies for that reason nowadays, because people in authority abuse and abused their position to such a degree.

[@TuanAnhTPBQ]

Of course, abuse in any form is unacceptable. Being authoritarian without fairness is reason only leads to resentment even if it's a parent teaching their children. I totally agree with you that love and humility should be present in ALL situations because those virtues will bring about respect and understanding on both sides.

[@WhiteChocolate74]

Very profound point. I'm glad you said this

[@simpinainteasy680]

Demise of the Family Fall of the West

[@joset8907]

Amen thank you Father🙏✝️

[@dmsilverthorne2021]

So powerful❤

[@slowroastedmarshmallow9226]

Awesome!!

[@boscodsilva9524]

Thanks really helpful and practical. Valuable guidance

[@delmiller7572]

Thankful for this sermon.

[@maryeleazer3169]

Very good talk❤️

[@channelmoved9096]

The reason my sons do what I ask them to do without complaining is that they grew up watching me clean our toilets. That job is Gold and I won't give it up.

[@EricHouston33]

I love the talk, the Marian Friars Minor, and Sensus Fidelium. I've heard this friar admonish listeners (or at least the Brothers) not to talk about food or commend a well-made meal on a few different SF videos. In this video, he even suggests that he cautions his brothers to not "cook so nice." I can certainly appreciate his wariness of attachment to food and overindulgence of the senses. However, the point strikes me as overly rigid. We don't treat other senses or experiences with this attitude. Upon seeing a magnificent view of a mountain or coastline, we wouldn't - and I don't think the friar would suggest we should - avert our eyes or decline to discuss their splendor. Naturally, we would express our awe at their goodness and beauty, understanding that they are the handiwork of Our Lord. Shouldn't beautiful, well-made food excite the same admiration? Shouldn't we commend, with all due moderation, its quality of goodness and the effort and skill of the ones who prepared it? Isn't this especially true for the family, which is the "school of virtue?" Likewise, why should we tell a cook to "not cook so nice?" It seems to me we shouldn't instruct someone to perform a worthwhile task poorly or dully? We would not discourage an artist from painting well or a singer from singing with all the skill at their command? I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the principle the friar is articulating. Would anyone mind explaining it to this dense listener? I am grateful for your patience and charity.

[@SensusFidelium]

I believe the point being made is that mortification ought to be the choice of preference over the normative and the licit in the case of someone striving for heroic virtue. Nothing is pointed out regarding whether or not it is right or wrong to enjoy food or talk about whether something is enjoyable -- the Catholic position on this is that enjoyable food is entirely licit and good, and to be "received with thanksgiving", and there is no sin involved in pointing out that something is enjoyable. What is being pointed out is that it is not fitting or useful, and is even counterproductive for a man searching for perfection to consistently indulge his senses without any scruple, because this is not consonant with the life of the Perfect Christ, who willingly embraced the pains of every mortification for the sake of His desired intention: to merit the salvation of all souls by His pains. Love is the principle that moves the Saints to deny themselves in everything, consistently. Cf. St. Peter of Alcantara, St. Veronica Giuliani, St. Francis of Assisi, St. Margaret Mary Alococque, St. Pio of Pietrelcina, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Mary Magdalene, The Blessed Virgin Mary, the list goes on. For this reason, Religious ought not to have attachment to what will impede and hinder their purpose: to merit the salvation of all souls by their pains.

[@EricHouston33]

@@SensusFidelium Thank you for the response. I see the point more clearly now. My concern was that the attitude was almost "anti-good" and that its application in family life would undermine the good and possibly dilute the witness of goodness in and outside the family. But as you suggest, mortification is not so much about declining to recognize the good but renouncing a lawful pleasure for the love of God. I'm reminded of a quote from Fr. Boniface Maes, "He who for God's sake renounces not only unlawful pleasures but even those that are permitted, loves him with a much greater love of regard than he who for His sake only abstains from forbidden things." Thanks, again :).

[@ColdSkilletGuitarlive]

Whew. I cant fish that deep padre'. Dang. I feel like he was tryin' to rub the right hemisphere of my brain against the left hemisphere of my brain. I gotta headache. 😂

[@nitapalacios4968]

Can someone please tell me this priest’s name? He is the most amazing preacher 🙏🏼😇

[@prayerandproductivity]

This was so moving and convicting! 🥹The story of Mother Teresa brought tears to my eyes, it was such a beautiful example how important it is to do all things with great love, even the most menial and dreadful tasks. Several of the other examples reminded me of how St. John Bosco dealt with problem behaviors with children. I love how it was explained how a slavery (following rules and obedience) means true freedom. 3o clock silence period in the family is a great idea

[@alvarocorral1576]

Optimus Prime was the leader of the Transformers (if I remember correctly) he was a truck that turned into a robot.

[@martanieradka4675]

If you have devil parents, pray to God to take them away. He will!

[@jstefencavage]

Who else was in the Garden of Eden, besides Adam & Eve

[@vivacristorey4363]

It was only Adam and Eve and then they were kicked out. Then no one lived there.

[@davidmacgillivray4659]

Satan was there from the beginning tempting man…disobediences started with Lucifer and continues today Pray endlessly ✝️

[@vivacristorey4363]

@@davidmacgillivray4659I assumed the question was referring only to mankind. But yes, invisible beings would include God who walked in the Garden (probably as Christ), Adam and Eve's Guardian Angels, many other angels, demons, and the devil.

[@martanieradka4675]

According to Anne Catharine Emmerich Adam and Eve were in Eden only one day

[@AmeriKenTX]

Father, do you offer bootcamps for male pre marital counselling?😅

[@lauraanderson7358]

🙄

[@davidkupiec]

We didnt choose our parents. Yes you did. God chose them for you....Um, what?

[@marcosgonzalez4525]

Wow . The replies to this is indicative of why this country is in shambles. If you follow the commandments and teach respect and love the family will be fine . Read the prayer to the Holy Family .

[@TuanAnhTPBQ]

This Western parenting style is wrong. You don't just do anything you want right after the clock strike Midnight on the last minute of being 17. You are your parents' child for life and you always listen to them because you love and respect them. There is a Vietnamese folklore about Mr. Nguyen Dinh Chieu who cries after his mom spanked him as an adult. He cries because he realizes that she is getting weaker and her spanking didn't hurt as much as it used to be. It's because of all this nonsense about not being able to spank your children to discipline and teach them that we now have young people not pulling their pants in public, participating or spectating sideshows, yelling/hitting the elders....

[@crystald3346]

No, please don't generalize "western parenting". There is no such thing. I'm ethnically Indian. We need to know better. Parenting in the West comes in all forms. Some good, some not so good. We have to do "Catholic parenting". Not Vietnamese, Indian, Western.

[@TuanAnhTPBQ]

@@crystald3346 Totally agreed!

[@michaeldemarco1465]

"We didn't choose our parents." "No, you did choose your parents because God chose them for you." Uh, yeah, that means they didn't choose them. Also, it's disturbing that this priest is not categorically opposed to corporal punishment.

[@mypony891]

Why is it disturbing? "Spare the rod, spoil the child" ring a bell?

[@pcola4594]

The lack of corporal punishment is the key problem within the west. A bunch of pampered princesses that expect the world to conform to your will.

[@spedchica05]

​@@mypony891The rod is a symbol of authority used throughout many parts of scripture. As pointed out by this priest, it is not necessary to literally hit someone with an actual rod in order to establish proper authority over them.