CONTROL Issues And How To Manage These

The good and the bad of wanting to be in control.
We are often taught that trying to be in control is a bad thing. Our children might want to control certain aspects of the toys they play with - in the way they play with it and who is allowed to play with their toys.
As adults, we might feel that we need to control certain parts of our lives and often this is not seen as a good thing by friends, partners, or professionals. The thing here is that being in control of things that we can be, is a good thing.
There are so many unpredictable events, people and environments around us. All the time.
For us or our children to take and have control of things that we can control gives us some calm in a very chaotic and unpredictable world.
Yes, we need to be more flexible here and there, but if there are not enough stable routines for us, it is very difficult to be flexible. This may sound contradictory, but children (and adults really) will only be able to be flexible when they feel safe enough. And that safety comes from having some stable, predictable routines in place.
How do we help our children and ourselves to be prepared and feel safe enough so that they won’t have the need to always feel they need to fight to be in control.
Well, with our coping skills, of course, our daily meditation or mindfulness practice, changing one unhealthy snack with one that can refuel us and by exercising. There are many more coping skills that are good for us that we can include daily, but we have to remember that just like our learned behaviors took years, so too does adding those good coping skills. Give yourself a bit of grace and time to add these to your life.
Timeline:
0:22 Is Control a Bad thing?
1:24 Flexibility can only be included when:
2:25 How to help a controlling child/person?

[@daneallaswart3675]

Very true! As humans we often want things to happen quickly and easily, but these things often take time and require some self control and patience!