Coping with a Loved One in Prison

[@feliciareid4471]

God bless you. My son has been recently locked up. I am devastated. He is my eldest of four. He is a kind, caring and most respectful person and child. He's had some b hard knocks in life, and I know we all have. But, as his mother, it feels as if my heart is being ripped from my chest. Help!!!!!

[@Kittykatmeo]

I'm with you on that. My son has been there since June. I have absolutely no support and feel abandoned. It's the worst feeling ever. I'm thankful he is alive but that doesn't take the pain away.

[@xochitlduran4650]

Keep praying my brother just went to jail I can't eat sleep. And no cares. But everything is in God's hand's he will make a way . As long as I am alive I will encourage and write and see my brother. Don't give up🌹🙏🙏🙏

[@C.A-74]

My prayers are with you! My son is also incarcerated and the feeling is unbearable at times No one I can talk to! People are so quick to judge so I often shut down 🙏🏽 praying for us all

[@welcometoshy773]

my fiancé has been gone for 4 1/2 years he comes home this december and i’m like an emotional roller coaster i guess because it’s almost time for him to come home and i’m just scared because i missed him soo much and i just wanna make sure that he’s okay…it seems like the prison is always on lockdown now so he can’t call i can’t visit or anything they don’t even do viedo calls there so it’s hard, i pray everyday on the phone with him and i write letters to the lord and i’ve taught him how to pray too, but it seems like everyday we move forward they come and shut the whole place down and they take all his books etc smh. I’m just ready for this to be over 😢. Because it’s hurting me more and more but i can only imagine how it’s hurting him knowing i’m crying etc…idk but please just pray for me y’all and i’ll do the same for everybody on this thread! 😊

[@carmellagreen114]

Awe, I'm here in the same boat and I know the feelings honey, yep, they almost always r locked down on the days he is allowed to call which r only two days! What they do to our children is criminal, they r the ones who will be judged!

[@paulaneary7877]

I have had a difficult time finding people that actually understand the situation, how I am feeling, and how to be there for me without issuing judgemental comments and useless opinions on what I need to be doing. People don't seem to know how to just listen and be supportive without being judgemental. Thank you for the video.

[@angelaBerus864]

I feel the same way about not being able to find understanding people to talk to about it and it does help talking sometimes,,my son is in prison and I just miss him so bad it really hurts

[@dianamoore4822]

@@angelaBerus864 I don't have anyone that understands what I'm going through with my son either. I'm still in shock that my son is locked up. Not in a million years did I think I would be watching videos about dealing with a loved one in prison. I'm so heartbroken. Blessings to all of us! 🙏🏽

[@angelaBerus864]

@@dianamoore4822 it's does really hurt I know so where are u from I'm from wellford south Carolina

[@dianamoore4822]

@@angelaBerus864 I am from North Ogden Utah.

[@carmellagreen114]

I totally am with u, no judgement should come from others, it's the system that is corrupt taking our kids away instead of helping them!

[@fightingwarrior5893]

My brother went to jail last week. I know the feeling right before Christmas. Hardest part is the memories with them when they had their freedom. Just write letters and visit when you can.

[@azart686]

I am in the same situation. The most difficult part is you don’t have anyone with the same problem around you to share . You feel the bottom of loneliness. At the beginning I was full of shame , guilt, and sadness plus giving lots of money to lawyers and court, all wasted. One day after a shock , surrendering happened to me and I accepted situation as a journey of my sole and my son’s as well. After that, I have peace inside , I support my son even more than before. I am free of guilt and shame.

[@theyadorek]

I am very grateful my loved one is alive and well, but that grieving feeling when they’re incarcerated is almost like someone had passed away. cant call or text them, your looking back at old photos and videos when they were still here, the places you use to go together, replaying the songs they loved & dedicated to you over and over, everything he’s touched to me is like treasure I still haven’t even washed his shirts The house is so quiet I have been reliving these feelings of loneliness everyday for the past 2 years. It sounds depressing but I’m a strong woman, not all days are bad. It’s just such a painful feeling that you can’t even really talk about

[@michelleriggs5435]

I so understand what you are going through. My son is six years into life without parole. Yesterday I was thinking it's like he's a ghost. I'm grieving the life he will never have. Thankfully I have a husband so I'm not completely alone, but sometimes it sure feels like it. Most people couldn't care less as long as they don't have deal with it. I constantly feel like I have a scream frozen in my chest that won't go away. One day a few years ago I was sitting in traffic and seriously thought about pulling out in front of a semi. The shame and guilt was crushing. We live in an area where a lot of people know each other and for a while I didn't like going anywhere because it felt like I could feel people staring. I still go over and over all my memories of raising my son in my mind trying to figure out what I did wrong. My son was arrested when he was twenty one and I still can't bring myself to clean out his room. The clothes he wore to court are still sitting in a living room chair and legal papers are still sitting on the coffee table. Every time I pass his favorite snacks in the store or see a young man around his age living his life my heart aches. I still feel like I don't know how I'm going to survive this. Sometimes I don't want to. Every time we have a family get together his absence is glaringly felt. I'm worried the summer heat will kill him or damage his health and I can't help him . I email the governor every day about the heat issue in the prisons but people who aren't going through this almost all see inmates as not human and less than dirt. It makes me so sad to know that people feel that way about him. I am grateful for being able to visit him though. It was really hard during covid, not being able to visit. Whatever others may think of him, I will not turn my back on him. I still love him and can't just throw him away.

[@theyadorek]

@@michelleriggs5435 oh wow Momma Your so strong I just know your a Good mother, that’s that unconditional love ❤️💯My momma also Wonders the Same “where did she go wrong” But Honestly all I can say is you tried the Best you could, You gave a baby boy life until he was old enough!!, You know Folks will grow Up and unfortunately Do the things they choose wether they were raised in a Good or bad Home Im sending you so many virtual hugs 🥰 I pray The Lord Touches your sons heart and Brings A Light to your Situation In due time, Im sure your son is more than Thankful for you

[@bdavenport7668]

I too have handled the situation of myself and my son in prison, much the same way as you have. The embarrassment, the shame and the silence has not been beneficial for either of us. I don’t understand the laws, the court’s terminology and haven’t been able to afford to pay for help for him. I do have hope since learning of this FAMM organization though. I truly want to thank you for sharing what you have, it has encouraged me to stand up trying not to be ashamed. Thank you thank you!

[@assataandscillarae7738]

Finding out my brother was tried for the death penalty while I was in high school. He’s 28 now and has 40 years. He told me one day he will die in there. That broke my heart.

[@barbarawallace5663]

Hello Everyone, My Nephew Has Been In Prison Since He Was 17yrs Old, and Now He's 49+yrs... We Just Keep Praying and Believing That He Will Be Coming Out Soon. In Jesus Name...Amen❤❤❤!!!

[@sunihabesh1740]

Omg

[@ShannananigansAllowed]

Amen!!

[@sashabriellle]

Praying for your nephew

[@roxieschuster3877]

my son is in jail and I feel like I'm locked up with him. my life is empty without him. I have no husband, no boyfriend. I have friends but they don't understand. I'm completely alone. I don't know how to hold on.

[@roxieschuster3877]

I'm not ashamed. The only difference between my son and dozens of others us that he got caught and he wouldn't snitch.

[@azart686]

I am exactly in your situation. There is no one to understand your deep grief.

[@queendesire8470]

@@roxieschuster3877 same here 😔

[@ninabeltran4964]

I am in the same boat Roxie. I feel exactly like you described it. I feel abandoned in a way. Left completely alone.

[@angelaBerus864]

OMG my son is in prison to and I've told ppl how I feel like I'm locked up with him too it's hurts so bad and I really don't know how to cope well

[@katie-mu8tr]

Your words touched me deeply, I am so sorry you and your family have been going through the pain that goes along with having a loved one incarcerated. I cannot imagine being in your shoes having your son in, but it is very comforting knowing we are not alone.. I’ve been married to my husband for 10 years next week and we have a almost 10 year old daughter and he’s been incarcerated for almost a year now, we are waiting on his sentencing. I get so much anxiety going to court appearances too and haven’t for the last few but I will be going at the next one for the sentence which I dread so much - but I feel we need this chapter to close so we can begin our next chapter. I am sending all the hugs & prayers to you to continue to get through the hard days 🧡

[@christianchristian8853]

it tormented me when my son was arrested. its been almost 3 mths and he may be getting out on bond, they still undecided if they will let him out even though hes been great in there. my son is the most loving, caring kind person, just made one mistake, they said, but hes innocent. Im so sorry for you and your son. they need to reform jails and prisons. God sais we were on death roll but sent His son in our place so we could live. I think courts should have mercy too.

[@carmellagreen114]

I love u lady! I am going through sadness of my only Son going in and out of jail due to drugs! I am happy that u r here cause I came on here looking for support to deal with the heartache, thank u, sweet lady!

[@carmellagreen114]

I know honey, i feel the same way, what could I have done differently, my only Son is in prison for a much shorter time, but u worry every day, and they don't let him call hardly at all, thank u for having the courage to come on here and speak, it's not them so much as it is the broken system designed to punish instead of help people! God bless u!

[@donnab6995]

Life imprisonment helps no one. There needs to be prison reform and more accurately, criminal rehabilitation reform. This is going to far to put children in life sentences. When does it end? What a waste of a life and a lesson.

[@RachelsBadAssJamz64]

This is what I am very upset about! My grandson was eighteen two years he has been in there now to find out hes going to prison for I dont know how much longer! I understand he broke the law. Im not even going to go there. He needs help not fucken prison! What is that going to do! He's got to survive in there doing whatever hes going to have to do or be who knows what! Exposed to shit he never even thought about. Its more dangerous in prison than outside. Then these people in positions of power are financially invested in these fucken Prisons and the new system they have developed. Sending people to prison who shouldnt be sent to prison , using their position for their personal gain making sure prisons stay full and to keep making more. These prisons are basically what towns or cities rely on as their source of financial resource. The government gives these prisons money to run. Forcing inmates to work free labor just to get out of their cells. They keep them on lock down for long periods of time breaking down the prisoners to give in just to have some outside time. The government pays for the guards, a business get money for providing the uniforms, cleaning supplies, food, whatever is needed to run the dam prison is ordered and provided by someone in town a reltive most likely, its all illegal!

[@jamieholladay-collins6287]

I agree so much. It's inhumane, cruel, and ineffective.

[@kristalbeecher375]

Yes this is so true. Worst pain I have ever felt. 😭❤️ Thank you for sharing

[@vforvendetta8176]

I'm praying for you! I am just starting this journey. My husband just got picked up on a 4 year old warrant over a custody battle with his ex wife almost 14 years ago! There was a lot of trust with her broken because she could have stopped this process, but she didn't. I haven't been away from my hunlsband for more than a work day for almost 14 years! Except the last time this happened 5 years ago and was supposedly dropped! I'm scared! The waiting is the hardest. And we don't even live in the same state so he has to be extradited! Ughhhhh I feel so hopeless and awful for him! I can't stand it without him!

[@Nothingforever192]

I know that feeling. It’s going to be ok! We’ll keep going and get through this

[@713mrsjames]

Thank you Ms. Osay for sharing your story. I could never put my feelings into words but you helped me identify and process what I was dealing with alone, internally. Blessings

[@elizabethneimah]

My son went in prison recently last year and the pain I am Going through is unbelievable but the Lord is our strength. And you come to Realise that you only find comfort in the lord and no one else thanks for the video. I didn’t think I could openly talk about it.

[@Kenpachiii_Bankai]

My brother got 35 years and I don't know how to deal with it. He didn't do it. He is so shy and innocent.

[@azart686]

Hi see movie names Rectify

[@assataandscillarae7738]

Dealing with the same

[@Kenpachiii_Bankai]

@@assataandscillarae7738 it sucks. They won't let me see him because of Covid.

[@xochitlduran4650]

My brother went to jail i am loosing my mind i am just praying. I am you right now. No one understands. Its hard i understand you. Its so difficult to eat because how can i live good knowing my bro is in jail I can't. 🙏🙏. But i love what you said give them hope dont give up.

[@Lisa-px1ux]

Thank you so much for sharing!! Keep Strong & inspiring those of us that need help dealing with the loss of our adult child in our physical lives due to a lifetime in prison. Much peace being sent to you..

[@rosemariefrusteri4087]

Antoinette, I hear ur hearts cry in ur words. I understand, I'll keep u in my prayers, our God knows us. Hes healed my pain. I now can help others from my experience. God bless u

[@insomnia9999]

My brother is in prison since he was 17 years old. It’s been 14 years. I have nightmares about something happening to him.

[@LindseyPixiehorn2]

My son is in jail and possibly going to prison. I feel lost.

[@PockyBoy9]

This made me tear up so much omg 💔

[@rahabmuthoni429]

I just got engaged to the father of my child 2 weeks later he was arrested it's been hard I can't eat sleep work it's so painful for me and my son it's hard God help me ....😭😭😭

[@Gabbygirlyouknow]

I pray for you! As one mom to another I pray for your healing♥️

[@antoinetteosei7067]

Thank You FAMM. holding on to Hope

[@MsLewcee]

We understand and will be praying for you and your family. We are in the same situation and it hurts. Faith. God Jehovah will help us. Isaiah 41:10, 13❤️

[@michellemartinez9632]

I feel your pain. I also have son who was in prison and is now trying to get back into the outside world. I also am a victim of a sister who was murdered at age 15 walking home from school just off the school bus. The man was 34 years old when he chose to take her life. He is still alive and in prison hospital at the age of 76. I have communicated with him through a liaison. His family didn't believe he did it. But there was so much evidence and 5 eyewitnesses. I feel for both our family's because no one wins. Not even the community. I believe God has this and if we have wronged all we can do is seek Jesus for mercy and mean it.

[@sunflowerzelda45]

wow michelle, life is hard, I do not understand how God thinks we are to accept this life.

[@annamawele6736]

May God heal your heart its not easy

[@michellemartinez9632]

My prayers for you and others going through this heart aches and healing to those who lost the one who died. Please be kind to yourself because we are all sisters and brothers that is all We have here on this earth each other. Love 1st

[@ninabeltran4964]

Thank you for sharing. You have described my pain to the T.

[@luciller.powell337]

Thank you for sharing! You are a blessing!

[@StaceyValles]

My older brother has been in and out of prison since he was a kid. And it has killed me to the point my anxiety is so bad that I wake up in the middle of the night in sweats bc I only can remember him being that 7 yr old brother that walked me to school. I need a damn therapist. I have distance myself after this last prison sentence. But the guilt is killing me yet financially I can’t do it anymore. When he was out he lived at my house for free for years while I worked 13 hr shifts. I’m the baby sister. He Never got a job for years. Let me pay everything . Then he gets in trouble and I have to pay for a lawyer. Now he is in jail and I have to send money. I want to be supportive but I almost feel I can’t bring myself back into his support without money. And I’m struggling out here. I just don’t know what to do. I cry so much but I can’t get clarity. If I was millionaire that is different, but I’m not and he left a child out here as well. I just know I can’t do this financially and I know as soon as I start talking to him about he is going to ask for money which is going to make me do anything I can to get him the money even if it causes me so much stress. He made these decisions and I been helping for so many years. Yet when I’m down, my family can’t ever help me bc they never get back on their feet. Sorry I used your video and my therapy session but I’m hurt, confused and stressed.

[@daniellefawn]

Thank you for sharing your story and may God bless you and your family ❤️🙏

[@luciadiaz4003]

I can definitely relate to many of you on here. It has been so difficult for me. My son is in prison as well. I pray to God and it helps me a lot. I agree talking about it helps so much. I pray for each one of you on here.

[@princesspearl82]

Thank you so much for sharing, Your story brought tears to my eyes I feel your pain. We can always talk to God when there is no one else to talk too 🙏🏾

[@BeaconLight333]

My son has been in prison for about 28 years and has been getting death threats from inmates serving life sentences. I feel like a shell. Like pieces of me have left me.

[@MahoganyBelle]

Praying for your son❤

[@theunknownuser0429]

I cant imagine what you are going through, my twin brother was recently arrested i dont know what he did but he has been locked up for a month now and im losing my mind. I have never experienced anything like this before.

[@anayansigonzalez6143]

i too have a love one in the feds. for 23 plus years ..I pray for you all to get threw this as I also am thank you for this short video it ces to show you are not alone..

[@christinanaomi382]

Sending you virtual hugs. I feel you. I hear you.

[@welcometoshy773]

and i keep having these dreams about him like he’s facetiming me because he’s free etc idk but they scare me and i don’t go back to sleep for hours i just start praying ..i have always been to myself and honestly i don’t normally like to talk to anybody about my life but i’m seeing more now it’s okay to grieve and miss your spouse family members that’s incarcerated etc…i just feel like i’ve failed him because i can’t take him away from this pain of these last 4 months

[@elizabethneimah]

My son is in prison in UK. I cannot describe the pain you are going through dear. My son will be out by Gods grace in two years time but the thought of life imprisonment I think it’s barbaric. Needs to be abolished. I don’t know why people don’t make this known publicly on the streets that it’s not a right sentence. The pain we feel as relatives and loved ones of prisoners is unbelievable.

[@boldwarrior2196]

Oh mama this hurts me your so strong doing this with my husband tears come in different times.

[@tinacline474]

My son's in jail idk for how long yet it's still going through court I feel like I failed as a mom but I put this in God's hands he will walk me into the light

[@antoinetteosei7067]

We did not fail as MOM...I know that feeling too well....Stay strong and hold on

[@tinacline474]

@@antoinetteosei7067 thank you so much

[@antoinetteosei7067]

@@tinacline474 anytime support is important

[@MahoganyBelle]

My son is facing 10 years in prison and it feels like he has been diagnosed with a terminal illness and I may be forced to face the loss of him and not being able to protect him. Not knowing if he’s hurting, afraid or safe. He’s my first born. I know it’s not the same as losing a child to death or a life sentence but it hurts and my heart goes out to you and everyone with an incarcerated loved one. I am here trying to find hope, strengthen and encouragement to survive this if my son is taken. Our prayer is that he remains free but how do I help him prepare? How do I prepare? Just in case. I don’t want to break into pieces and I don’t want him to fall apart either.

[@draymatthews]

There is no reason for your son to be wasting away in prison. The truth is that there isn't one person lawfully in prison. The entire legal system is based on pseudoscience from the trial to the day a person is released. All one has to do is understand basic science, compare it to legal systems rhetoric and make the proper constitutional challenges.

[@draymatthews]

@Frank Masuzzo Not sure what harris has to do with my statement. Please explain.

[@ednamartin5697]

I feel your pain i have a son also incarcerated for something he didnt do i put in Gods ✋ i hope and pray he get out soon love hugs and 🙏 for you and your son God is in control

[@sharonewig3900]

Oh sweet mama I pray God keeps you in His hands. God bless you. Heal you. Heal her son. I pray for his salvation. In Jesus name I pray. Amen. I love you God bless you. God loves you too. Cling to Him. HE WILL GET YOU THROUGH THIS.

[@antoinetteosei7067]

Thank You

[@daniellefawn]

Amen 🙏

[@bebe553]

THANK YOU.

[@aliciaplancarte3134]

I am so sad and lonely my man for 23 more years

[@PockyBoy9]

Sending peace and blessings to you

[@sunflowerzelda45]

yes, I wonder how to be happy. Have been achy and insomnia for years and years. Surround myself with people ha, everyone in my family thinks my son is right where he belongs. I do not believe anyone deserves what the justice system is doing to my son. Nobody. They slapped a label on him. Made him an outcast so even when he got out of prison after 10 years he can not find a life. Now he is in prison for being homeless. He must have an address or they can pick him up. long story. Sad mom. Have tried to let him live here with me. That did not work out. Yet another long story. So lost So broken. Praying for all the young men locked up. Hope for all moms God bless U for making this video.

[@mariamcintosh6749]

My name is Maria I have a love one in jail. He is having seizures and I can get anyone to listen. I visit and email. Lately he isn’t going my emails . He needs therapy and the doctor sign off him to get and he isn’t getting it. He don’t have life. But hurts when he needs medical attention and they not giving it.

[@jeanieradford8187]

Bless your heart ❤️

[@veliabearup4226]

Oh dear I know how you feel I use feel like you at one I had 4 of my son's in Prison and I have one son that keep going back in and out and my son is a good person. But always being with the wrong people I use to be a shame I had to talk about it. I know as a mother how you feel I'm so sorry. But you know what helps. It's Prayer. God helps us and gives us Strength.

[@brandnewday-nov2024]

I developed awesome dark circles under my eyes at 17. People sometimes ask if I was up late partying. What a simple life. If it was.

[@Gypsymumma90]

I am having a hard time right now found out yesterday my hubby doing 6 years..😫😭😓

[@BEmmanuel1]

Sending you hugs..and I'm sorry..my husbands sentencing is on 4th Jan I'm broken

[@sirena0772]

May Father God give her and her son the protection in Jesus name amen

[@TheMentalAsylum-d2o]

My mama is in jail..

[@stephanieharrell7266]

My mom is in prison but gets out June 7 this year they said if she goes back I don’t know what I’ll do with my self if she goes back she’ll be in there for life my grandma said but hopefully she doesn’t I’m only 23 I can’t lose my mom but I’ll be 24 July 6😢

[@sunilarogers1430]

We have to stick together. Many can't understand

[@marjoriereyes3254]

Can you send me some organization

[@boldwarrior2196]

Encourage and life each other up

[@ttp519]

My boyfriend in prison 24 yrs.i wish he be release

[@PockyBoy9]

I’m so sorry my boyfriend was denied bail and I can’t stop crying but he also faces 25 years to life sentence if found guilty 😢

[@vinettericci796]

🙏

[@fruitarian]

The thumbnail says got a minute? The video is 3 minutes long. The thumbnail could be redone or edited to read got 3 minutes?

[@FAMMVideo]

Thanks for the comment! We looked at a lot of different names for the series, and had planned on only doing 1 minute videos at first, but everybody just had too many great things to say when we sat down with them to film. So we stuck with it!

[@vforvendetta8176]

Are you kidding me with this question? It's obviously a play on words!

[@RachelsBadAssJamz64]

Yes, I know very well how it feels! Ive raised my grandson since he was 2. Hes had a rough time, he has dealt with a lot of pain since at a very young age. His mom and dad not being in his life. His mom telling him lies as to why he cant be with her, me being the one to blame. Feelings of unworthiness , he wasnt good enough that his mama didnt care to be with him? I think making him feel what was the use of doing his best, making good choices he felt unworthy my mama doesnt love me why should I care about myself? Plus dealing with ADD. Thinking things through and understanding the effects of our choices. He turned 18 goes to Utah and gets himself in a mess of trouble which I really believe taking the rap for someone else because thats how dumb he is. He's not about that life trying to be dealing drugs is what Im being told its so very hard to find out anything! I can not afford an attorney for him, it kills me! Im a mess its my grandson. Im not making excuses for what hes done. He was not raised that way or exposed to such things. Hes just trying to fit in with the crowd. My concern is Prison! Did he get a fair trail? He didnt need to be put in prison hes been in Jail for the past two years, why not just keep him in Jail. Prison is a life fucking sentence!!! He will be an ex Felon at 18 years old. He doesnt have a past and now he doesnt have a future! The future that I hoped for him. He had all the potential in the world a gift, to be whatever he wanted to be. He choose to throw it all away. I sought help for him from counselors , therapy so he could talk about how he felt. For intervention at puberty he became defiant, manipulative, not doing his work at school or at home. Being drug exposed in the womb has severe effects on children. ADD and other physical and mental issues as well. You dont see until puberty. He slipped through the cracks their giving us therapy in communicating With each other. I was very upset! I know how to communicate very well! I me statements. Positive communication. All those forms I filled out marking all the symptoms I have seen, his behavior, nightmares. attention span and they focused on me and how to communicate with him. I went along with it hoping they would see what I was concerned about. They did and didnt address it. Ignored it. Why I dont know. He said he didnt want to attend counseling anymore and the counselor agreed with him. How is he letting this child make such a decision? They cant choose to not go to school but, can chose not to receive mental health care. This system is all set up for failure! I told this counselor I was not in agreement to stopping the sessions. He had me sign some paper telling me a lie probably. He never returned I recieve a letter telling me because I have failed to keep the appoints if I do not make contact in so many days they would close his case. I couldnt call my phone was just disconnected and I wouldnt have it back on by the deadline I knew I needed to respond or it would make me look like I was at fault . It wasnt me it was that dirty counselor who didnt give a shit about my grandson. Find out he was the head of that program few years after that. I swore if I ever came across that man I was going to call him out on what he did regarding my grandsons therapy and anyone who mentions him to me or his position! Ive been told my grandson is sentenced yet they cant tell me what his sentence is? Only that the Judge ordered prison. WTH is that!