Coping with negative emotions when you have a disability

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[@EmpoweredPara]

I only covered 8 emotions lol! Just in case anyone else caught that! I took two out because the video was too long and then I forgot to change the intro 😅 !

[@JamesSmith-pm9gp]

So funny! I wondered but I decided not to question it.

[@EmpoweredPara]

@@JamesSmith-pm9gp lol I knew someone would notice!

[@GoFishOffice]

All good my friend 💞

[@Goblue373]

I get upset when people use the accessible things meant for disabled people as well. I don’t have to remind myself that not every disability is visible . Still wish there are more accessible parking spaces and restrooms

[@edl5731]

I have never parked in a handicapped parking space. My attitude towards restroom stalls is that if there is an open regular stall I will use the regular one, but if the only available one is the handicap one I am not going to wait for a regular one to free up to leave the handicap one available in case someone in a wheelchair arrives. Expecting accessible bathrooms to be treated with the same deference as parking spots is unreasonable. My current handicap hasn't changed that perspective. My biggest complaint regarding bathrooms is doors that are so heavy to make it extremely difficult to open in a wheelchair or on crutches. The medical building has electric openers on all the doors except the bathrooms.

[@EmpoweredPara]

This is my basic philosophy too. I don't expect people to wait for a regular stall if there are none available and the accessible one is the only one. I really only get annoyed if I go into a bathroom and the accessible one is the ONLY one taken and if the person that comes out is able bodied

[@EmpoweredPara]

Yep definitely need more big stalls. I see so many moms waiting in mine to use the stall that they can fit their stroller and toddlers in. Even just 2 is better than 1.

[@westiepower2020]

@@EmpoweredParaThere is a hotel bathroom that we use regularly when we are out-and-about. They have 12 cubicles and only one (1) is Accessible. I think I need to talk to management there about changing that to 2 larger accessible stalls, and then 10 regular ones.

[@Ethawa]

This is why I took up photography. When my family was doing things I couldn't do, I would take photos.

[@Jeriann-027]

Great idea.❤

[@NanasWorms]

I can relate to this as someone with Multiple Sclerosis for 45+ years. My disabilities came on in spurts, but I'm now dependent on a wheelchair, catheters, etc. I feel managing my body takes so much of my time each day. I am an optimist, which really helps with those inevitable spirals. Thanks for bringing your voice to this important topic, Brit! ~ Sandra

[@EmpoweredPara]

@@NanasWorms thanks for being here!

[@marianne57]

I’m thankful to have met you on uTube. Your positivity helps many people whether in a wheelchair or not. ❤

[@EmpoweredPara]

🤗

[@Warren1814]

I think its a very good idea when people in wheelchairs or some type of disability share with the world how its really like being in a wheelchair or have some other type of disability. When i was in high school some of the high school kids would say i bet it would be fun being in a wheelchair and just roll around all day etc. Now if they where saying that just to make me feel better it didn't. I would always look at them and think to myself boy are you nuts. lol People who don't have some type of disability really need to understand there is a mental side to it too. Some days are great days but, when the bad days show up, Look out!! All kind of things can and shouldn't run through your mind. (For me) For example, I get dressed and put on my shoes and clothes with no problems. Then have to use the bathroom just to do it all over again. Or sometimes have one shoe stay on and the other falls off. And sometimes when i think i have both shoes on good and tight. Do another transfer from my chair to the bed or to my van's driver's seat only to have both shoes fall off. Some people think all that's nothing, But let it happen to you ALOT and you see stuff like that starts to mess with you. Or even worse your in a public place and you have to use the bathroom and you find out they have no bathroom you can use. And the one you can use, Someones in it. lol

[@averagejoesmiling456]

EXCELLENT VIDEO!!!!! The majority of people don't want to talk or acknowledge any of this.

[@EmpoweredPara]

Would never want anyone to think I'm always positive!

[@nadine4539]

You are so right, Average Joe. No one talks about stuff like this and THIS STUFF is REAL LIFE.

[@fernandochavez4312]

My dad was a good person, never heard him say a negative thing about anyone. Even when it was warranted. He would get mad when a person said something can’t be done. Anything is doable if your mind is set. He would have liked you very, very much. Thanks

[@EmpoweredPara]

Sounds like a wonderful role model!

[@ronaldhegner9558]

I am physically challenged but not paralyzed. I cary trama from childhood abuse and share many of the same emotions as you are having. Thank you for sharing your feelings. You are reaching people with many of the same problems. Keep up the good work.

[@EmpoweredPara]

Childhood trauma is a heavy burden and one that can affect so many parts of our lives. My dad had a traumatic childhood and he is still dealing with many things as a 64 year old. The negative emotions in this video are universal, which just reinforces that we are really all more similar than we think!

[@susanborsky9436]

I'm surprised you didnt list helping others as a coping mechanism since you do it all the time, with your family, viewers, students and many others I'm sure. In my nearly 40 years as a paraplegic, my best antidote for negative feelings is finding ways to be useful to somebody else. I'm never more grateful I can drive then when I can give somebody else a ride; I'm never more grateful I can cook then when I can bring a meal to someone who is sick. Even when I had to spend 7 mo on bed rest, I could be a listening ear at the end of a phone. I get really depressed when I feel I'm just a burden with nothing to give. And even though this didn't make your list, as a longtime follower I know this is so much of who you are that you take your own service for granted!

[@EmpoweredPara]

Omg that was the one I forgot!!! I wanted to put that one and then when I sat down to write my list I knew I forgot one!

[@michelleseigner1138]

I was injured at age 50, C6/C7 quad so i have already experienced most things in life so i use that as my way of coping

[@westiepower2020]

Re: Frustration - this one we totally understand. Neither of us are in a chair, but due to our own conditions, neither of us can climb ladders and even step-stools are now a challenge (Cerebral Palsy & Vertigo for my wife, and Arthritis & severe vertigo for me). So although we can reach higher than from a wheelchair, anything over about 6’ is now impossible. (About what height can you reach from your wheelchair Brittney?) Fortunately we have 2 very nimble and helpful neighbours who are always willing and able. It may be easier for us to accept because we are older but we remember when at least one of us used to be able to do these tasks, and it is very frustrating to not be able to do these things and in our way. So we empathize with you.

[@endtimeawakening5557]

I experienced 38 years living in a whole body, completely taking it for granted. I've lived for 23 years in a broken body, learning about words like "eternal." It began a spiritual journey that's revealed things I probably would have never learned previously. This physical journey can seem eternal, though quite temporal, even if you complete it completely whole. Our spirit within is the true "us," and the part that's eternal. Brittany is such an inspiration and joy! I'd give her back her physical wholeness if I had the power to do so, yet there are forces far beyond me at play. My prayer is that we all come into a greater understanding of the bigger picture. ❤

[@EmpoweredPara]

Yes! May we all keep the perspective that in the big picture, most of what we fret about it insignificant:)

[@Deajn88]

I feel everything you talked about. It is so hard.

[@EmpoweredPara]

@Deajn88 some days are hard aren't they. We must persist though!

[@russelllear5682]

For me, this was a very difficult video to watch. But one recent incident did come to mind: A good friend had a temporary health issue that caused her significant pain when she walked. She complained a lot about how unfair this was, how it limited her, how she couldn't go out easily, how miserable life was. I did feel for her, but I wanted to point out that I've experienced pain pretty much every day of my life, that life in a wheelchair is more more limiting that what she's experienced. And that in spite of all that I try (and usually succeed) to keep an upbeat outlook. But it really got me down. Thanks for your work here!

[@EmpoweredPara]

Yeah it's hard to hear others complain about what seems to be trivial things. But someone once told me that we can only see our own problems and that each problem feels just as severe even of objectively they aren't. I guess attitude plays a big factor in what each of us can handle. Some people can handle very little and some people can handle a lot.

[@cherylvl1036]

Great video, thanks! I’m not paralyzed but I do have MS and I can no longer walk. I use a mobility scooter. I too experience some of the same negative emotions and feelings. The thing that always helps me with envy is that I’m grateful I could walk, run, hike, skate, dance etc. for 40 years. I know there are many people who never had the chance to do any of those things so at least I have my good memories to look back on.

[@EmpoweredPara]

And so many memories made doing those things I bet!

[@cherylvl1036]

@@EmpoweredPara yes, 40 years worth. You were so young at the time of your accident that you missed out on so much.

[@heidiwachtel2592]

Thank you so much for your honesty. Im a C6/7 quad and feel all the same feelings so often. Some days i think i hit all these emotions in the same day. Im super blessed for my life and so grateful for your videos. I workout everyday to keep my sanity and am back in school to help the boredom.

[@EmpoweredPara]

@@heidiwachtel2592 staying busy is another amazing strategy for maintaining your mental health! School/learning kept me busy for years!!!

[@sophieoliver5504]

Hey Britt - thank you for being so open and showing the side of having a disability that I know I try and hide away from others. I have been struggling since getting out of hospital after becoming a paraplegic at 12 years old and spending 4 1/2 years away from my family and the life my illness took away from me. No joke I have just gotten into bed really down and sad and turned on KZbin and this video popped up! I feel a little less alone now and with having no one who truly gets this side of disability I can only thank you for making this video ❤ Xx

[@EmpoweredPara]

Disability stole my childhood too. I missed all the experiences that a normal teenager should have had. I guess the only thing we can do is to focus on making quality memories and experiences now:)

[@xenabjorklund8875]

Thank you for making this video. I showed it to my husband and I don’t think he’s ever thought about some of the things you talked about (he’s able bodied & I’m in a wheelchair).

[@EmpoweredPara]

You're welcome! I think as wheelchair users we tend to put on a happy face for our family so I hope the video was a nice way for him to learn about your experience.

[@kardiamit]

I have been in a wheelchair for 30 years (Th4-Th6). I know all these feelings, but I do not focus on them. I surround myself with people for whom I am not a "problem" and I do things in life that I want, not "have to". The only thing that accompanies me to this day is jealousy that "everyone" except me can walk and I cannot. And they do not appreciate what a great gift it is.and something else! surprisingly, I never get bored.

[@EmpoweredPara]

Finding the people who love and accept you is so important!

[@emilydowns5285]

This is very relatable and I appreciate you sharing your experience. I don't have many people in my life who can understand the complex array of emotions that come with being disabled. I think people have this expectation that you'll go through a grieving process and feel these things until you're "better" and then things go back to "normal". Not exactly. I feel the need to put a smile on my face and be grateful for the things I do have. But I still struggle and I wish my life were different. I suspect I'll be dealing with these emotions for the rest of my life.

[@EmpoweredPara]

Yeah, unfortunately I think the only thing we can do is learn to cope with the emotions better as time goes on so they affect our life less.

[@edl5731]

Thank you for this video. My situation is not nearly as bad as yours. I was hit by a car in January and just had my second surgery and am not coping well, particularly with the set backs and limitations from the 2nd one. But I should walk again. Sometimes when watching you or the Blind surfer or Josh Sundquist is feelings of inferiority because you guys seem to be so much better at coping with much worse. And also envious of your coping skill. I have always suspected that you guys record the videos on good days and don't post the bad and aren't really always as positive as you are in the videos. Having you confirm that is very helpful at me in reducing my feeling of inadequacy because I can't maintain the positive attitude you seem to be able to maintain even though you have it much worse than me. Also I now realize that part of the reason you are better at coping with your limitation is you have had years to adjust and it is unrealistic for me to develop in months what you developed in years. Odds are I will be walking again long before the time it would take for me to reach your level of acceptance with not walking. And I should be grateful for that, but gratitude is not exactly my emotion of the day. I am grateful to you for doing this video. But I am not good at being grateful that I wasn't injured worse. And thank you for the concrete suggestions. I will be trying some of them.

[@EmpoweredPara]

@edl5731 My friend and fellow KZbinr @freddothewheelchairguy once told me that we need to have gratitude in the good times and grace in the bad. Now is a time for grace. Gratitude will come when life starts to feel less challenging for you. Keep going and stop beating yourself up! I'm a total spaz most days, and you guys just get to see the days that I have energy and gumption. We are in this together, no matter how different our circumstances are! Sending you so much love!

[@robfield2302]

Hi there, I watched part of your video about Syringomyelia... It was so hard to watch. I decided to watch later. This Syrinx business is harsh, it felt like some kind of existential threat. Whatever that means. Mine is at C-5 . First surgery was Dec 9th 22. It's back... Nuff said. I'll look through your channel to find it again later. I do want to finish watching about your visit with the neurologist, and daughter along with you. I was injured in 96. My daughter was about the same age as yours back then. So I felt it deep. I promised my sweetheart I would read it, and off some help. Maybe you could post a link to the videos called "bad news". Praying for you Rob Field

[@theshepherdspromise]

Wheel talk is real talk. Incomplete C6/C7 quad here. It's okay to admit that stuff is hard, and that sometimes people are jerks. The experience of the negative emotions is not problematic - handling them well or poorly is the only thing we are accountable for. The definition quoted for "guilt" is closer to "shame" or "insecurity" ("guilt" is historically defined as bearing responsibility for committing a crime or offense; knowing you really did do wrong somehow - objective vs. subjective), but the emotion you are describing is very real, no matter what you call it. Good video, and thank you! *Good point on socialization, but there are scenarios where isolation and abandonment leave people in some very dark waters. Not everyone has family, friends, or even regular caregivers around them. The point on not being able to pour from an empty cup is valid, but an empty cup can't fill itself. Worth, value, and purpose come from the One who gave us these lives, whether on legs or wheels. Psalm 23 is a popular passage of scripture for a very important reason: it's power comes from its truth and the fact that its promise does not depend on exhausted, heartbroken people wearing themselves out to keep pouring into themselves from the same empty cup they are trying to fill.

[@EmpoweredPara]

Thanks for clarifying the feeling I was trying to articulate with "guilt"! Your faith is beautiful. Thank you for sharing!

[@robfield2302]

Great video, excellent advice. I hope more people watch this that are not paralyzed, or disabled watch it. I was injured in 1996 I'm T-8 para with scoliosis the scoliosis came post injury. I'm interested in talking more with you about the Syrinx. It was super hard just to get a diagnosis... My first surgery, a laminectomy, and a shunt to drain my CSF (cerebral spinal fluid) was Dec. 9th 2022. My symptoms are back. The Syrinx is inside my spinal cord at C-5. I'm left handed. This time around I'll be working on becoming right handed. I fought hard for a couple years thinking I might have had a stroke, runs in my family. All the exercises and seeing a physical therapist (after I got a diagnosis) did help, mostly psychologically. I started watching your video about the visit with a neurologist and saw the computer screen. I didn't finish it because I got too emotional... Now I can't find it. I would love to try and help. And learn what I can about our options. Anyways, good job on your KZbin channel. I hope more wheelchair users find you. Rob

[@robfield2302]

Dang, I just repeated the post from last time I commented. I will probably just delete one... It's difficult not finding much information about Syringomyelia online. Any advice would be helpful

[@Tony_Ca.]

Hi Brittany, Great video. I fall under all those emotions and a bit more. After 35+ years, I guess it's a common at this point. When I go out to do motivational talks and visiting family and friends. Everyone sees is my smile... But, those emotions are certainly in my thoughts when im out. At this point for me, I've learned to live with these emotions. Wishing you and your family all the best.

[@EmpoweredPara]

Love that you do motivational speaking! Time does tend to make the negative emotions less bothersome:)

[@Tony_Ca.]

Have you taken your trip to the States yet? If not, will you be visiting California?

[@EmpoweredPara]

@Tony_Ca. no I'm going to Montana:)

[@jhors7777]

Thanks for posting this Brittney. Love you and best wishes from Minnesota. You are such a great communicator!

[@EmpoweredPara]

Thanks!

[@FreddotheWheelchairGuy]

Absolutely fantastic video Brit! One of your best 👌 I’ve made notes and there’s lots to talk about next Tuesday!

[@EmpoweredPara]

Can't wait!

[@georgewelford8648]

I love you. Don’t be angry. Some people don’t get it. It sounds like you are thinking way too much. Anxiety sucks. It’s not you. You’re never gonna get over that if you put everything on yourself.

[@rebeccafoster1368]

Thank you for being so honest about how you feel in this video. I am a C6 SI and I definitely feel all these emotions! I remember when I was in hospital and I was so envious of anyone who was a lower injury to me. I felt that it was so unfair that I was C6 and just knew thar my life as a disabled person would be so much easier if only I was a paraplegic. I used to watch wheelchair basketball but realised that after I had been watching a game I felt sad and frustrated. It took me a long time to get over feeling those emotions and to get to a place where I was happy with my disability. I love your channel and watch all your videos! ❤

[@EmpoweredPara]

Oh, how perspective changes when we lose the things we take for granted. Imagine ever wishing to be a paraplegic as an able bodied person! People would think you're crazy. But as a quad, being a paraplegic is like a walk in the park. My friend Tash often (and lovingly) reminds me how valuable my hands and independence are. Why some of us get dealt tougher hands is a mystery, but time and again, no matter how dire the situation, we see the human spirit prevail. You're still here and are making the most of the life you've been given and that's what it's all about.

[@macraven6445]

I have become comfortable within myself, and that is extremely important. I accept the world for the way it is, not for what it should be or what people who are not disabled perceive it as for us. My motto is, “It is what it is.”

[@EmpoweredPara]

Powerful motto!

[@cpr58]

That is how I feel most days. seems for every step forward I get knocked back 2. To deal with this I do get help for my mental health

[@EmpoweredPara]

Me too!

[@tonybooda]

Brit, first I just want to thank you for doing these videos they have been a real plus to me, I know there are issues we need to deal with our disabilities, to me you seem to navigate them effortlessly that's a testimony to your strength, keep going girl, I need you many of us need you...

[@Jeriann-027]

This was a good subject because I have been wondering if it was just me. TY Britney. ❤

[@QQ0000]

I didn’t know you felt this way 😞

[@hot_wheelz]

Oh Brittney, how this video resonates with me. I'm a Quad of 23 years and I'm at that point where I've maybe got a decade left on the clock. I went thru a period after my injury where things were incredibly dark but then managed to find a way forward but now at the age of 41 and particularly as I'm mindful that my remaining days are numbered and more things become permanently out of reach I find those momentary grumbles stretching into a persistent envy, resentment and a deep longing for what now will never be. I may have shed a tear or 2 watching this video but not because it made me sad, rather because I understand on a deep gutteral level the words you said, the less than wonderful aspects of living with a disability in a world that still doesn't see us as equal with our non-disabled peers and the emotions that evokes. Solidarity my internet friend.

[@EmpoweredPara]

Solidarity indeed! It's the one thing we can always be grateful for!

[@4WDrvlogs]

This video came just in time.

[@EmpoweredPara]

@@4WDrvlogs hugs from me to you!

[@theresainns4342]

Thankyou so much - like some of the other commentors below I have come to disablement from MS, so a slow sliding journey rather than a sudden traumatic switch. One of the things that amazes me is that I used to moan about having to do housework - what I would give now to be able to keep my house clean without being exhausted after 10 minutes. Anxiety is a big one for me - the future is a big dark scary place (especially as it is likely I will keep sliding, past the non-functioning legs, to other parts of me becoming non-functioning, which will be a death sentence). I have to keep reminding myself that the only thing I need to be grateful for is today - so long as I did my little bit of housework, got to work, did my few hours, did my exercise, then I can curl up in the lounge at night, and be grateful for that day.

[@EmpoweredPara]

The simple things become so much more profound when we lose our mobility!

[@1200snoopy]

Hi brit, really well said. As a T5 Para myself of 6 years I relate to all of it. Gratitude and a strive to be independent keep me going. Keep up with the channel you help so many people.

[@EmpoweredPara]

Those are amazing things to focus on!

[@jhors7777]

Love you Brittney. Thank you for posting this.

[@Karski1952]

Hang in there Brittany! Feel your pain .

[@EmpoweredPara]

I'll hang in there! Thanks for the support ❤️.

[@jo_hansson]

Thank you very much for this video! Such detailed insights into the inner life of a wheelchair user touches me and makes me even more sensitive towards them!

[@EmpoweredPara]

Thanks for listening ❤️

[@arsolblanes5058]

Thanks Brit, We continue to overcome emotional cycles in the best way possible, videos like this help you a lot 👌🏼💯♿ But...you owe us two! 😂😂

[@EmpoweredPara]

@@arsolblanes5058 lol want to know what emotions I left out?!

[@morgancalvi6675]

@@EmpoweredPara I'd LOVE to see a comparison video on how things were then and how they are now. For instance..how things were when your son was a tiny tot versus how things are today.

[@morgancalvi6675]

​ @EmpoweredPara you also still owe us a video on 25" wheels versus 24" wheels. I'll NEVER go back to 24" wheels. I just recently got power assist wheels and I made double sure they gave the 25" ones.

[@westiepower2020]

⁠@@EmpoweredParaYes, I’d love to know which two (2) emotions you left out. Although I also hope that your coping mechanisms will work on these 2 as well. P.S. Love seeing your hair up in a bun! Maybe because of the heat?

[@arsolblanes5058]

​@@EmpoweredParaHahaha I was going to tell you "they are written in the introduction of the video" but they are not, now I have to think😅. This is what happens to me for acting smart 🤔😁 Anyway, I would like another video to find out what they are. I think it is important for all of us who feel bad for feeling...

[@brucekerl5139]

Hey Britt! This was a good one! At the end of last year I began to snap at people and generally had a shorter temper than usual. I reached out for therapy but everywhere I looked (in my area) all the therapists were not taking new patients or didn't have availability for months (aftermath of Covid I think). My adult daughter suggesting that maybe my disability was causing my frustrations. I sat down and made a list of how my disability has affected me to cause frustrations. I was surprised that I came up with 35+ separate issues. I know you mentioned in one of the vlogs with Fred that you don't journal, but I found that taking some of these topics and writing a page or two detailing how my disability has left me feeling "Half Broken" (as an example) has been very helpful! I don't journal everyday, but only when I feel the need to get something out. When I finally go to see a therapist, she said she thought I was dealing with my disability frustrations very well. I see her only when needed. Thank you for all that you do!

[@EmpoweredPara]

I bought a journal yesterday and wrote down a bunch of prompts and am starting TODAY! You guys all need to hold me accountable!

[@Keepinitwheel306]

Very relatable video! You put into words things I don’t know how to express. One coping mechanism I have is a good cry! If I’m having a tough day and know I’m holding in all the sad emotions I put on a sappy or sad video and let my tears roll. It’s so cleansing and I’m often left feeling rejuvenated.

[@EmpoweredPara]

I don't cry often when I'm upset, but when I do it's so therapeutic! I do cry a lot when I'm happy though and at almost every movie!

[@Pittsburghwriter]

I have used therapy and it absolutely saved my life. I had an extremely violent childhood (in every way) and even tried to kill myself 4 times. Once I even put a loaded rifle in my mouth but when I pulled the trigger, it didn't go off. Reframing my thoughts is extremely helpful and I write in my gratitude journal every day. therapy helped me release so much pain. I wrote a book about my past titled, "From the Dark Tunnel." If you want to read it, I would be happy to send you one. I am writing a follow-up about healing that will be titled, "The Face in the Mirror."

[@EmpoweredPara]

I would love a copy! I can buy it if you send me a link to where I can get it! You can email me! [e-mail] I'm glad therapy is getting more common now and that there is less negative stigma around asking for help with our mental health. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@pb8569]

thank you so much for sharing. I can relate .

[@EmpoweredPara]

You are so welcome!

[@tigerclaw4537]

Your not alone. In my younger years a was was very athletic. Now (In my later years) I'm losing my ability to walk without forearm crutches, get into and out of a vehicle, stand upright and/or sit for prolonged periods without creating unpleasant hip and knee discomfort.

[@EmpoweredPara]

The mental adjustment is always harder than the physical one! Acceptance is a slow and bitter process for many of us:) Hang in there.

[@davecopeland1891]

Hey Britney,,,,,,,, I've been watching your video's for awhile and have always wanted to introduce myself. I am Dave Copeland and have Cerebral Palsy. Despite my disability, like yourself, I have a career. I'm not a teacher (I'm not that smart 😁) I am a financial advisor and am also an author. Your video was very well done and informative. I have found that for the people that treat me bad (I've had a few friends) I cast them aside because they really don't matter. I just don't care. I'm not going to let them get me down. Its their loss. I would love to email you a copy of my book and get your perspective. Have an amazing day 😁

[@EmpoweredPara]

Would love a copy! [e-mail]! Thank you so much!

[@samanthatremellen817]

Such an amazing video

[@livingdifferently470]

True and. Agreed on EVERTHTING SAID

[@EmpoweredPara]

So much better going through this shit with other people! Wouldn't wish paralysis on anyone, but I'm glad I have so many other wheelie folks like you to support me!

[@livingdifferently470]

@@EmpoweredPara heroes need their own heroes too

[@westiepower2020]

I think my wife and I understand and experience some of what you are saying here, but I’d like to comment on a couple of them. Under the ”Guilt” topic, IMHO I’d like to say “give yourself a lil grace”. To our way of thinking, your immediate family loves you, and your chair is just part of your life; they never knew you as A-B. For your parents and siblings, I would think that they are just happy that you didn’t die in that accident; that you are alive & thriving. As far as maybe having to leave most of the outside chores to your husband (although I see you doing all or most of the veggie gardening by yourself), remember that you and your husband are a partnership and you each have your strengths and shortcomings. As an Inter-abled Couple ourselves, we work things out. And please remember that you didn’t do anything inherently dangerous like Cliff Diving or trying to outrun a train. You simply did a normal recreational activity (snowmobiling). Then a pure accident happened. Not your fault in any way. Hence no guilt Brittney. And I think the attitude you show here, indicates that you bring far more to the life with your family as compared to minor adjustments they make for you. The only reason your immediate family has this life, in fact, ANY life, is because of you. You make their whole life work! (My comments on a few of your other 9, er, 7 emotions to follow later.)

[@claufersweiler]

Agrreed! Thnks for being vulnerab;e enough to share this.

[@EmpoweredPara]

Thanks for listening!

[@claufersweiler]

I watch all your posts, but this one really hit home. I don’t dwell on it, but the accumulation of day-to-day adds up.

[@wednesdayadams667]

Your situation must be very difficult. I would just like to add my perspective: I'm a young person suffering from lyms disease, which is an illness that is not visible, yet is very real. I suffer from quite a big joint and back pain, exhaustion, weakness in muscles and lot of other issues. So sometimes I choose to use the lift in a public place or sit in the public transport, and I get quite a lot angry looks from old people, mothers with strollers and other ppl, that just assume that because I look ok I'm automatically healthy and just being ignorant towards their problems. Sometimes I almost wish my issues were visible so noone could make id*ot out of me. There is no excuse for using disability toilet if your legs function fine and block it for a disable person, I just want to point out that in some cases the disability is invisible and getting angry at this sort of ppl might not productive, you've got honestly nothing to be envious about.

[@smileyburrito]

From one para to another - thank you!

[@EmpoweredPara]

Thank you! Wouldn't do what I do without the support I get from you guys!

[@donaldmanzek5517]

Excellent video ! Great explanation that everyone should understand in their life !

[@EmpoweredPara]

@@donaldmanzek5517 ❤️

[@NikkolasGaskins-pi8me]

I’ve been through the negative emotions before I’ve been bullied in middle school and high school because I was in a wheelchair 😭😭😭😭

[@EmpoweredPara]

I will never understand why some people feel the need to bully others. It is a mystery to me how they can feel good about themselves doing that!

[@NikkolasGaskins-pi8me]

@@EmpoweredPara because nobody ever wanted to date me because of my disability

[@NikkolasGaskins-pi8me]

@@EmpoweredPara wanna be friends

[@franny5295]

I'm "mostly" ok but for a long time I was trach and vent dependent. I despise talking on the phone because that's one place I can't hide it. I can prepare for in person activities but phone calls make me feel buck naked. I know they can hear it and it's embarrassing. At least we're not dead though right?

[@EmpoweredPara]

Lol that needs to be on a shirt! "At least we're not dead" is a motto for hardship for sure!

[@morgancalvi6675]

The 2 ways you see things about being injured tody...would be 1) I hate, absolutely HATE technology today and I wouldn't wish a spinal cord injury on anyone today. It seems to make you less of a person and money is way more important...2) when I broke my neck, things were way, way different...yes, there was no thought of accessibility and things were way harder...but you were treated as a person...money didn't seem to trump you as a person. My first spinal cord injury occurred back in 1983...and people took their time with me, getting me to the best I can be. I had my second spinal cord injury in 2018...and I was so dismissed so quickly (because we have to have a bed and money for the next patient), there's no way I got the best medical care...if it weren't for people like you showing how to do things, I'd not know.

[@EmpoweredPara]

Sad how much our society is separating into classes based on money and social status.

[@morgancalvi6675]

@@EmpoweredPara it is a sad thing.

[@brianlowther5929]

Brittney thank you that was amazing. 👏👏👏

[@EmpoweredPara]

Thanks for hanging out with me on another video!

[@johnvelas70]

I made a video & emailed it to myself by accident. No idea how to put it here on YT. EDIT: forgot to mention the reason I'm telling you this is to say you should feel good about yourself, your brain is more gooder than mine.

[@EmpoweredPara]

@johnvelas70 lol my brain is certainly not better than yours. Just ask my husband how much stuff I lose lol

[@johnvelas70]

@@EmpoweredPara Then maybe your brain can tell my brain how to un-lose my video (yep now I lost it) so I can put it up here.

[@ntm0272PoPs]

If I was offered 1 of my dis's back:: I had a brain injury, Can't walk, barely talk, hands....no write, water is TOO THIN, my teeth all died, see double.......can't read, but, my brain runs in OD at all times!, can't meditate/sleep so hate weekends... No loss of memory. The one I would want back is to be able to talk/ communicate! Luckily, I am an introvert loner type. What about you?

[@EmpoweredPara]

Oof. That sounds very challenging. Do you primarily write to communicate?

[@ntm0272PoPs]

@@EmpoweredPara i have two fingers, that kinda work. and weirdly some can make out exactly what i mumble, others don't hear a word.

[@ntm0272PoPs]

....can''t write.....either

[@kevinscott7035]

Can you wear pull-ups?

[@obsoletepowercorrupts]

Unless it is agony _(a tactful factor),_ surely, even if only on a temporary hire, as an early adopter _(because I reckon they'd get invented)_ you could wear robot frame legs _(machine-learning assisted)_ like those dancing DARPA robots but instead just the legs _(like wearing wire-frame trousers)_ so it is like a less bulky looking version of the Sigourney Weaver _"Alien movie"_ but of course you don't thwart a mother-alien with a blow-torch component _(because you don't need the robot suit arms, just the legs as the aforementioned 'trousers')._ Life might still have some negative-emotions stuff, but you'd be able to walk around the house a bit. Then you could customer-review it and say it has positives but the make number 9 a negative about it as feedback. Perhaps that your bloke borrows them without asking even though he doesn't need them. Just to potter about the house for part of a day, it doesn't look like that difficult a technology to make. It's the calibration that would be tricky so as to avoid calling it human error _(and some insurance or licence requirements for health and safety and medical rules)._ Somebody might just jerry rig some though if the red tape is massive. In terms of cost, maybe they could make it inexpensive to use by forcing you to wear an advert. I don't mean a sandwich board _(although the end-is-nigh could be used to plug fallout-shelters like that game)_ but rather some catwalk perfume or something, and one of those _"Fame Goss"_ magazines the fairer sex read. My comment has no hate in it and I do no harm. I am not appalled or afraid, boasting or envying or complaining... Just saying. Psalms23: Giving thanks and praise to the Lord and peace and love. Also, I'd say Matthew6.

[@EmpoweredPara]

That sounds complicated lol.

[@fighterinmkiwiscience3517]

Would you like if some women with breast cancer wants world to have breasts cancer. So that they know how she feels? And how will you feel if some women with burnt face told you that she wants your face because she appreciates more than you and will take care of that face more than you,how you feel?. She will wash that face 7 time and take care of that face more than you What's if someone wants your hair and they say you don't deserve it because you don't know how hard world treats you when you don't have hair. You are taking it for granted And what about eyes . Can blind person deserves your eye's because they appreciate more?

[@EmpoweredPara]

I'm sure each of those people feels just like I feel at times and would be the first to say how normal these feelings are. Feeling these things is NORMAL, acting on them is not. I would never tell someone that is able bodied that they don't deserve to walk. I just feel those things sometimes when I'm frustrated. The point of this video is to help people dealing with negative emotions feel less alone, not to make them feel ashamed for having them, like you are trying to do with this comment. I'm not ashamed for feeling these emotions and I'm definitely not ashamed for being honest about them and trying to help others work through them. You are entitled to your opinion and I appreciate you sharing how you feel even though I disagree.

[@kevintravis5123]

thats a tough watch x

[@EmpoweredPara]

Tough, but also very validating to see how many people can relate to me! The comments are gold. Thanks for joining the conversation!

[@kevintravis5123]

@@EmpoweredPara you’re welcome, and to be fair most folks have no clue what it’s like when your legs don’t work , how can they, those same folks also wish you didn’t have to make your vlogs and you were able to get out the car in 2 seconds,as I said it’s tough to watch , it must be hell for you, thanks for being so candid and wishing you well x

[@FelixTheCatMorningstar]

Hey my cousin girlfriend lost both legs from infection if i remember correctly and she's the coolest girl ever, any way have you ever seen any Rick Hansen you might see thing motivation and please don't be offended but am sure you appreciate the smaller thing simpler thing in life like nature that we kind to forget time to time like the nice flowers.

[@EmpoweredPara]

100%! Nature is my biggest source of gratitude! Forest bathing is actually a form of therapy!

[@FelixTheCatMorningstar]

@@EmpoweredPara oh i hear ya my hole backward is forest and am a 15mins. drive to Kelly's beach Kouchibouguack park.

[@morgancalvi6675]

I honestly don't see you as 'disabled'. Many people seem to whine and complain because they can't get things done, and don't...whereas you seem to have a 'get it done' attitude and get things done. I see you more as a 'go getter'.

[@EmpoweredPara]

Most of the time I am, but there are plenty of things I am scared to do lol. I'm a work in progress!

[@morgancalvi6675]

@@EmpoweredPara it sounds as if you might be afraid of the unknown. I've gotten to the point where if I'm afraid of the unknown...I just get someone to be with me and I just go for it.

[@paulwoodford1984]

No one likes a pity party

[@EmpoweredPara]

Lol gotta have em now and then! You came to the party so must not have been that bad!