Could Gordon Solve a Touhou Incident

[@rojiuradomei2454]

Gordon doesn't need to hear all this, he's a highly trained professional!

[@Raum2901]

Thats why he can solve every incident imaginable

[@pepsijuan666]

years of studying at the m.i.t we're worth it

[@acceptablecasualty5319]

Spellcard: Right Man in the Wrong Place VS Spellcard: Interdimensional Crystal of Unforeseen Consequences

[@fishytreat]

Industry Weapon "Metal Crowbar"

[@vadim_65rus]

Mmhm, crunchy crystal. Yummers 😋

[@ElectroFeel]

"Could Gordon Freeman solve..." SPAS-12 + right click

[@themilquetoast]

Pretty much.

[@desinteresado125]

Sorry for being the ''actchually'' guy, but most yokai in Touhou Project are capable of taking most physical attacks (assumedly), so bullets will literally not do shit, unless each gun is blessed religiously. Then again, The Free Man status means his bullets actually might just work like normal on principle.

[@forerunner8282]

​@@desinteresado125 Nigga we're talking bout gordon freeman here.

[@unnamed966]

I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. *vineboom* SPAS-12 + M2

[@cuentasecundaria2321]

Gauss cannon + Right Click + save + load + spam that

[@TouhouFortuneTellerEnthusiast]

One could argue post-HL2 Gordon would be capeable of solving the incident considering the fact he is idolized by HL2's humanity which could probably make him a living God in Gensokyo.

[@themilquetoast]

woah, thats actually such a good point.

[@actuallyreallybored3552]

No? Gensokyo isn’t the Warp. Gods in Touhou were already primordial incomprehensible beings from the birth of the universe, it just takes faith to give them “names” AKA properly exist and powers everything else, like their abilities. Gensokyo is the land of the forgotten as well as fantasy, forgotten things end up in Gensokyo. It would makes no sense for faith or fame to empower people in it. Otherwise, Miko/Prince Shotoku would be heads and shoulders above Byakuren, who isn’t a well-known Japanese figure, but Miko gets absolutely zero buffs from her fame. Sanae was an exception from the beginning, her living deity status was also from inherited secret techniques and other stuff, not exactly something Gordon would have access to.

[@TouhouFortuneTellerEnthusiast]

​​@@actuallyreallybored3552Thanks for the prompt, I'll try explaining it better. It has been stated that Gods need faith to exist and derive their power from it. You are right about how Gods existed beforehand, except that all Gods were an unified incomprehensible being, which, upon humans naming them, through a belief system, granted them a form and their power, seperating them from the aforementioned being they were part of. Gods are as strong as people believed them to be at the time of their 'naming' which is related to belief systems, which explains why Miko and Byakuren are on a 'similiar level', albeit, this is completely ignoring the fact that the spellcard system is built to specifically make personal might not matter as much above one's skill. In regards to living Gods, the definition I know mentions that they are humans who are worshipped as Gods (Which Gordon basically is in the eyes of humanity) by people. What I was trying to imply, if Gordon followed such a logic upon being transported to the Touhou Universe he'd probably gain some sort of power given the fact he is basically an almost messiah-like (so he could get power from this being in a very hasty jump of logic) figure by the end of HL2. Of course, given the fact ZUN left the fundamentals of how everything works in Touhou, just loose enough for people minds to run free, I cannot firmly say I am right or wrong. I am also assuming this faith he has garnered would transfer but I am not full on sure.

[@actuallyreallybored3552]

@@TouhouFortuneTellerEnthusiast That’s kinda what I meant. Sanae is the only ‘Living God’ known in 2hu and IIRC it’s both stated her power is inherited(from Kanako and Suwako obviously) due to her godly heritage which is a point against Gordon. But more importantly, there comes the question whether a theoretical living god Gordon would even be able to use his ‘powers’. It’s stated most living gods in history are priestesses, who would naturally be familiar with such powers, and that ‘faith’ is an actual power like mana to use - Marisa is directly stated to have a high amount despite never showing a remote interest in worshipping gods, she just can’t use it on account of being a magician instead of shrine maiden/having no idea how to. In the end, I just think the idea is too unreliable to use as an argument, but we can agree to disagree.

[@TouhouFortuneTellerEnthusiast]

​@@actuallyreallybored3552 Yea, I agree with what you say. My argument is built on very, very high hypothetical basis, still, it was nice to talk about it.

[@colecarstarphen8743]

What if its speedrunner gordan

[@MagikalKrabical]

What incident _can't_ speedrunner Gordon solve?

[@themilquetoast]

exactly

[@mausspat]

i mean gordon already fought a giant baby at the end of hl1, a 2nd wouldnt be so bad right?

[@du_nut_tuch_me4230]

" ." -Gordon Freeman

[@vadim_65rus]

Wise words indeed. .

[@SoldadoCatolico]

Oh man screw this I want to know what type of "business" is going on between the G-Man and yukari...

[@youmukonpaku3168]

G-Man is just post-transition Sumireko. He got a government job.

[@czarnakoza9697]

@@youmukonpaku3168 incorrect because then we would see gman hang himself

[@based980]

@@czarnakoza9697 based

[@czarnakoza9697]

@@based980 TTD

[@theinternetdebateman3437]

@@czarnakoza9697💀

[@speedstriker]

Reimu vs Combine and Cirno vs Aperture Science!

[@Biotear]

Hell yeah! Cirno becomes Cave's top guy

[@speedstriker]

@@Biotear yeah! She will explode the lemons!

[@sarasPP]

Disappointing how Freeman didnt get to use any of his signature weapons/tools

[@scruffles3838]

I now need fanart of yukari and the Gman having tea together

[@adrianshephard8704]

He bhops and turns Meiling into a fine mist after colliding with her at 250 mph

[@IDESTROYER236]

I'll raise you another: Can Pyro TF2 cause an incident?

[@themilquetoast]

lmao

[@pendragonvt]

Can't believe the remelia fight was solved with him using the SMG to write or draw PARASOL on the nearest wall

[@Bananafrys]

actually, my baby cousin (with asthma) would win a fight against goku 😋

[@Momijitheawoo]

Divine Kamehameha versus coughing baby.

[@Bowy3]

The mental image of Gordon pulling a rocket launcher on Cirno is really funny to me for some reason. Also rip Daiyousei and Koakuma (Not like they'd change anything as much as I like them)

[@MrMetal-xe8lg]

With the sheer size and passion of both communities, I wouldn't be surprised if this eventually became the premise of a HL mod. Edit: just thought about this, but a really long winded solution to this could involve Gordon realizing he can't fight the stronger beings around him properly without some level of magic comprehension, thus temporarily settling in a human village to learn flight, paired with sorcery or what have you. It would probably take months at minimum, but he does have that PhD for a reason. I'm practically writing fanfiction at this point, but the idea of Gordon being able for fly and use spell cards to empower his guns is really funny and interesting to me.

[@youmukonpaku3168]

Gordon's goshintai is the crowbar, the Vortigaunts provide its faith (...how many vorts equal one of the Yaoyorozu, I wonder?) and Marisa or Nitori could certainly hook him up with some spellcards to empower the firearms and explosives. Might have to visit Kanako or Rinnosuke to get the Tau Cannon working, though. Does this make the HEV suit his mikoshi?

[@jameszukel4502]

Spellcard rules man. He must use it.

[@uboa8060]

Against humans. Youkai can play as rough as they'd like, and humans can play rough against youkai as well if they know for a fact the youkai won't die. Like how Mokou gets killed for every spell card in her fight. (She is a human, but she is immortal, so there is no lethal damage.)

[@themilquetoast]

Yeah, I wasn't really sure how to use them in a hypothetical though, so I chose to omit even talking about them.

[@valonyaver600]

He could get technology that mimics the magic of gensokyo to allow him to make bullet patterns, or if he somehow has infinite ammo he could too. Like yumemi does. Though idk how much half life tech can turn to a bullethell.

[@WitchHunterSiegfried]

@valonyaver600 That tech only exists in the FAR future with Yumemi, not in the fairly grounded setting of Half Life.

[@forerunner8282]

Quick answer: Yeah, he can.

[@plasticold2167]

Bill Left4Dead could solo Hecatia

[@ruikirisame1744]

i'm an angry guy but how angry does one need to execute a poor girl with ashma with a rpg?

[@youmukonpaku3168]

EoSD Stage 4 will make you that kind of angry if you play flawless on your way there.

[@alttair17]

If i remember correctly Meiling can sense people's qi and see their intent through it so setting traps and hiding may not be that effective on her but as long as Gordon keeps his distance he should be fine, Meiling doesn't have much of a reply to that.

[@theinternetdebateman3437]

She’s too busy snoozing on the job

[@daverunningpresidentofther1185]

deploy gordon freeman IMMEDIATELY

[@jetblack8086]

that's a really good question I never knew I needed an answer to

[@mrawesome2847]

Reimu vs the combine would be cool too

[@thomteresa5589]

Read the title and though it was Gordon Ramsay.

[@Cieeel]

and we all know he solos sakuya with 0 difficulty

[@youmukonpaku3168]

yes, as long as the incident is caused by Mystia and/or Yuyuko.

[@mrawesome2847]

I WAS WAITING FOR THIS TO BE MADE!! how about the next one.... can SCP Mobile task force epsilon 11 handle a Touhou incident.

[@mrawesome2847]

Specifically the SCP containment breach MTF unit

[@ghostl7289]

He can beat remmilla if he takes patchy or sakuya as a hostage

[@themilquetoast]

good point

[@uboa8060]

"Za Warudo!"

[@WitchHunterSiegfried]

4:20 reminds me of Cirno's fight with Star Sapphire in KKHTA, where Star Sapphire uses claymores and grenades against her (but Cirno wins that scrap)

[@gameygeemer4142]

Unfortunately guns (and physical damage in general) work about as well against Youkai as wet paper unless they're empowered by faith.

[@Raum2901]

So the crowbar works against them?

[@Astrenar]

The vortigaunts have faith in him, therefore his weapons are holy relics. Well, if it was half-life 2 Gordon they would be...

[@lucasarmas9198]

@@Raum2901 i think it might, after all its almost the symbol of the resistance, the weapon to save them all.

[@viper6717]

Idea can Luffy solve an incident

[@EnceladusVtuber]

Two of my favorite franchises in one video

[@Biotear]

I didn't know I needed this, but I did

[@Yakumo_Yukari17]

Physical weapons against spiritual beings ?

[@EJY1790]

Only a being of pure spirit (such a thing doesn't exist) would be safe from purely material weapons (these don't exist either). So yeah weapons primarily powered by physics wouldn't be ideal but they would still be effective

[@uboa8060]

​@@EJY1790 Such things do exist in touhou though. The physical bodies of youkai are mere constructs fueled by their souls. You can destroy them, but they'll just regenerate. A youkai can be cut to ribbons and be just fine. Hell, we see Flandre stab Satori right through the heart with a sword and the only thing wrong with Satori afterwards is that she went into shock, because she is physically very weak for a youkai. Bullets aren't doing shit. Meanwhile, stronger youkai can knock down forests with their voices or fire mountain destroying lasers.

[@diamondcobra8769]

@@uboa8060 So if someone is going up against an average to weak youkai, they won't be able to KILL with physical attacks, but they can at least defeat/incapacitate a youkai temporarily? Or is this some wolverine/deadpool tier healing factor where they can out-regen physical damage dealt to them?

[@Uranium-jj7le]

Can Mario & Luigi solve an Incident? To make it Easier for the Brothers, Mario and Luigi Are given a toad who has all of their Power ups on tap and can use any RPG move assuming the Brothers can use them naturally. Any power that can grant unconditional Invincibility are Forbidden UNLESS in Unwinnable scenarios

[@thethingoid]

He's going to gravity gun Cirno fumo to space.

[@tanukijager7921]

6:05 peak comedy LMFAO

[@Otto_Von_Beansmarck]

Wait, can't Gordon fly using the Gluon gun and explosives?

[@themilquetoast]

That's a pretty good point, although I'm not sure its worth the risk of losing health.

[@super---.]

This sounds like a sven map

[@Mark3nd]

Wait, what if it's Half Life 3 Gordon?

[@LaSG_secondary_option]

Certainly he is!

[@IdkAlcohol]

Actually, my unborn brother would win a fight against Yukari Yakumo 😎

[@Not_Nik0]

my unborn brother could beat your unborn brother (mines is still a sperm cell)

[@LittleHelperFan]

holy crap its netzach from lobotomy corporation and library of ruina

[@k.okirbe]

holy shit is that netzach from the floor of art

[@youmukonpaku3168]

well yeah, Lafcadio Hearn's grave is already full, not hard to win that one.

[@grizzlyvoid284]

Gordon solos

[@viper6717]

Lovely

[@3063tylernavarro]

Can the Akatsuki survive in gensokyo for 1 year?

[@themilquetoast]

Never read/watch Naruto. Might come back to this idea if I do.

[@ORANGE200_]

i recommend doing more takes, you frequently stutter and it feels like you have a hard time reading your script, I also recommend speaking a little slower.

[@themilquetoast]

Noted, thanks for the suggestion!

[@BluShiGuy]

Oh god

[@Narty_Naz]

I can't hear you.

[@ElectroFeel]

Aye aye, captain!

[@themilquetoast]

Sorry, I'll work on that!

[@valonyaver600]

Subtitles would help