Counseling marriages for 50+ years.

[@paulschlichting930]

"Mutual admiration"... What a beautiful way to describe marriage. 🙏

[@melbaT2770]

Marriage has to have mutuality!

[@karenjohnson5634]

The last one is SO important. As a woman, I’m exhausted from managing and carrying the responsibilities. Yes, I struggle with accepting help, but I would LOVE to be able to “rest” with my husband in any areas.

[@amyproudfoot6611]

Truth 🙌🙌🙌🙌

[@loisbeyer5336]

Agreed. I couldn't lean on my ex husband. It was as if I was a boarder. My finances were my problem. He supported his first wife. He expected me to live with him for pocket money. I was supposed to have no legal rights, be buried elsewhere ( not with his family plot) had no say in who walked in and out of his house ( they had the key code) and he kept telling me to put a muzzle on my mouth. He.flirted with adolescent girls to the point where their mothers glared at ME and wouldn't let their daughters in our house. He threatened me that he wanted my clothes to stay in my apartment and not be brought to his house. He tried to date other women ( I saw it on his cellphone.) He shut the hot water off in frigid weather so I couldn't shower ( he showered at his gym), he would tell me to invite little girls on swings in them say he was "horny". He refused to consumate the marriage, and called me "HEDONISTIC". He said his first wife could come back if she "begged forgiveness." I stopped.all conversation and insisted on a plane ticket. He told everyone I refused counseling and I didn't RESPECT HIM. he has a lot of clout. Not all women can rely on or trust their husband. Divorce is the only option.

[@jeanannedupratt7075]

​@@loisbeyer5336 Dear, I pray you finally got away. And are healing. Dr. Ramani (internet) can guide you through narcisstic abuse + help you heal. You were dealing with a person with an evil (this is the right word), tortured ego. Leave. Go no contact. Get professional help. Trust your own gut. Whatever you do, do not go back. Reach up. Surrender. The Universe will guide you. Evoke our angels + guides. They can only come forward if you open that door of communication. God Bless.

[@sneakertoes1]

After 63 years we ALSO had love. How blessed was that!?

[@india_milan6305]

Yes! Which is the important part. You must have love. Respect alone will not keep people together for the right reason. You must have love ❤️

[@commoveo1]

So sweetly said and I say that with my heart ❤️!

[@athomas1823]

I was never able to lean on my husband for anything. He pushed all responsibilities to me. Then criticized how I did them and worked against me. Blamed me for being hard and falling short. Slandered me to everyone at church. Played the victim. I was still loyal to him and our marriage because I trust God. Don’t take a wife and have children if you aren’t willing to lighten her load. She can’t be who you want if you won’t shelter her from this hard world. Wives if you can lean on your husband. Don’t kick his legs out from under him. Respect him. Trust him. Assume the best of him. Listen to him. Love him. God intends marriage to be heaven on earth. ❤

[@jeanannedupratt7075]

@athomas1823 Leave. Get help. (Dr. Ramani can be found on internet). Heal. Reach up. Surrender. Let God help you on the road to Self Care + Self Love. Then only, would you have done the right thing. For the moment, you are playing in the mud + misquoting God's intentions. And living some wierd + perverse life. Make it better. Make the right decision. I did. Twice. Ok ?

[@CasondraFeitzinger]

Our marriage has been struggling for the last 3 years. We're coming up on 20 years total next year. We reached out for counsel. We have an amazing rabbi assisting. We're not happily married..but happy isn't our goal..healthy..holy..and committed is our goal. This past week we had a discussion about some hard things and it became such a beautiful and fruitful conversation. Mutual admiration, it's a sustainable base!!!

[@Steve24527]

If you feel you have to go to marriage guidance counselling you are with the wrong person. With the right person you can always talk with each other and settle anything easily

[@user-un9ud8jj7r]

Is this true?

[@Steve24527]

@@user-un9ud8jj7r Of course

[@artbyrachelc.4565]

No,it is healthy to look for help when you need it.

[@daniellemoss7746]

This is foolishness

[@lilianalaccable]

Admiration and respect!!!

[@user-tr7yg7zo3j]

Total agreement! You must admire and respect your spouse. And a woman must be able to lean on her partner. When you have a marriage like that, it is the warmest, most comforting experience imaginable.

[@brians7901]

I have been married for 13 years. In my mind, the only acceptable reasons to end a marriage are abuse and infidelity. Outside of that, you took an oath to another person.

[@moubhattacharyay6891]

#2 Is The Most Important Quality To Be Attend For Any Relationship.. Coz, "RELATIONSHIP" ONLY THRIVE ON MUTUALITY & TOGETHERNESS.. Otherwise, SINGULARITY IS THE BEST FOR LIVING BY OWN..😊

[@shannonsmith297]

If everyone would just do what I say we would all be alot happier 😊

[@merabbhatti5968]

But it's really hard to find a man to whom women can lean on.

[@Y1836Y]

Thank you Rabbi Friedman.

[@mariamabidha]

When one person is ready for counseling and another is not.. nothing can be done other than suffering .

[@Timbo_tango]

And if one person goes to counseling just only so they cant be accused that they didnt try the same... nothing can be done other than suffering.

[@jeanettepelletier1402]

Omg thank you 🙏 everything I’ve felt and recently went through is exactly what you just said.

[@bellapaz97]

Beautiful wise words 💖💫

[@MS-kz9fy]

Love is unconditional and a comitment.

[@jeanannedupratt7075]

But beware of the abusive people who try to profit from it. Protect yourself. Or just accept to fail, leave, get help, heal and carry. On. Maybe Life has another chance upstream. Be ready for it.

[@ipt3000]

Thank you!!!!

[@jessgatt5441]

Three things, yeah, but treasures each and every one.

[@Y1836Y]

Terrific.

[@corasteidinger9594]

Smart man🙏... Admiration and respect ❣️❣️

[@belgindhyanasatori4340]

Its both . Love and respect 🙏

[@mariarooney6262]

Excellent. Thank you.

[@Shir_Hadash]

No, it's not "mutual admiration," but חסד (hesed), which is the type of loving kindness that you give to someone who is vulnerable and who needs you. See Genesis 20:13. You regard your spouse not as a mere sexual partner but as your brother, who needs you to look after him because you know he's helpless without you. Rabbi Manis is very nice fellow, but he'd be _even better_ if he understood and taught the things in the Torah instead of making up nonsense like "marriages succeed on the basis of mutual admiration." That's how business partnership succeed. Marriages succeed on the basis of חסד, merciful love and kindness.

[@elileather]

I think you could could say when the woman leans on the husband is חסד, I don't think you guys disagree

[@alexandereisen3486]

You must be Reuven follower

[@elileather]

@@alexandereisen3486 sorry, not following you

[@alexandereisen3486]

@@elileather sure 👌

[@Shir_Hadash]

@@elileather I think Alex is talking to me. I'm pretty sure he's talking about Rabbi Yaron Reuven, who is a vociferous critic of Rabbi Manis Friedman's view that "We don't need Hashem, he needs us." But no, I don't follow this or that rabbi. I follow the Torah. It would be really cool if Rabbi Manis gave it a try rather than making up a bunch of nonsense. The foundation of a healthy marriage is חסד, which is the kind of love you give to someone who is vulnerable and who needs you. Manis is right about Hashem "needing" us to do mitzvahs. Yaron is wrong about that. The Torah certainly implies that Hashem wants to receive חסד. "According to the חסד that I have lavished upon you, so shall you do unto me in the land in which you sojourn" (Genesis 21:23). That's EXACTLY what a mitzvah is. "Mutual admiration" is the feeling Barry Bonds and Greg Maddux have for one another as baseball players. חסד is the attitude and feeling spouses are supposed to have for each other. Rabbi Manis is a knucklehead.

[@c-m5]

Such a perfect description of marriage ❤️. Beautifully spoken. Thank you 🙏

[@samesamuels]

Wisdom

[@medisorroman6071]

❤❤❤very well said 👏

[@user-sk1nt6tq3s]

Thank you Rabbi

[@Elizabeth-ie5fz]

Yes!!!!!!!! 💯🙌🏽

[@DarryHardaway]

I HAVE FOUND A NEW FRIEND 😊

[@AngelHeart1971]

Thank you...

[@8Platinum8]

SAY IT AGAIN SUPER LOUD FIR THE NARCISSISTS LIKE YA CANT DEPLETE SOMEONE AND THEN EXPECT THEM TO HAVE SOME SUPPLY YO SERVE YOU

[@adrianafalaguasta5490]

Amen

[@we_thrive]

Mutual admiration is true!

[@chrisclark1436]

Ty so much

[@davidblackmon4935]

50 years, you got the business. thank you.

[@natashabell7385]

Oh how amazing it would be to have your as our marriage counselor

[@PrettyLittleBrownie]

Well said

[@loniwatson8110]

Marry your best friend who amazes you, makes you laugh. Be with the one that you can bare all to. Someone that you would hide nothing from. The one you tell anything to first. also, ask yourself if their opinion matters to you. If so, they have value to you. Someone you could live without but Don’t want to.

[@jeanannedupratt7075]

True. However be prepared to give back when this person needs you. As Love is not exactly a one-way street. It takes two to clap.

[@JP-qx2wb]

So true …

[@MaplesyrupCA]

I agree- but I do believe love is greater than respect. Because it's not a feeling. It's an action. It's putting the other person first before yourself. Even when you don't want to. Some days you may not really admire your spouse, they are human after and make mistakes. But humbling yourself to serve your spouse is love.

[@jameskeating4719]

Love u

[@user-fl2bm2hi8u]

ONE hundred percent ❤

[@sue6454]

Yes❤

[@gabrielagabriela8068]

❤🙏

[@andrepaulosilva3004]

Great

[@nata9832]

This fundamental of marriage.

[@kathleenmolo4520]

Options are limited at 79!Sadly,I must get real!But at any age,begin with mutual respect and honorable intentions.

[@billdaou7973]

I love rabbi friedman . How wise is human. Respect is the key .

[@dominicmonteiro]

If there is love (not a romantic love only it a commitment) it produces respect . Therfore love is the root . God is love. The sacrifical love for each other

[@user-un9ud8jj7r]

❤😊

[@elessar5848]

This man also said: killing Palestinian children is not a sin.

[@jameskeating4719]

Hey sir i wish i could get marriage counseling sir but i got no wife

[@wherethewildflowersare]

Haha 😅

[@jeanannedupratt7075]

Maybe you haven't really risen to the challenge. Yet. But do realise that it is a responsability. Which requires investment + commitment. The question is, will you ever be up to it. Or perhaps, are you willing to learn to give + take, and of course, all the rest... 😉😁🙏

[@frances.ca.1191]

this essential Concept of ''Respect'' can be extended to all other ''relational Fields'' of Society, because many say ''I love you'' in Terms of ''inferior Emotions'' and ''intellectually'' destroy others, also by practicing ''evil Tongue'' and also ''evil Eye'' that is ''wish another Evil'', in order either to ''destroy him, her prematurely, in the Case of Envy, or to hold him, her exceedingly, in the Case of Jealousy'', and ''intellectually'', the higher ''Aspect'' of ''Intellect'' (the lower being ''Rationality''as ''envious and jealous'' as ''Emotionality'' above mentioned), one is capable of ''allowing the other to live the own 'g.dly' existential Life, upon the 'Doctrine of the Conscience, Soul' so to put it'', instead of being forced to be a ''Slave of the World'' and of the ''Partner'' or of the ''Colleague, Colleagues at Work'', and so on, and the ''Doctrine of Conscience'' is neglected Today, also dysqualified, that is to say, who says ''we are a Soul'' may be subjected to ''Tortures'', moral and also physical, socio-economical and financial-economical, inflicted also ''officially'' by so to name them ''materialistic Individuals'', ''G.dless'', ''atheist'', also ''Satanists'' as ''Satan'' is presented in the ''Bible'', a ''materialistic without Respect, for the 'Soul' that the other is''. ''Shlom'' through ''Emounah, Betaqon, Tzdqh'' to everyone.

[@elileather]

When you say evil between a couple, give me an example

[@frances.ca.1191]

@@elileather it was ''evil Tongue', ''evil Eye'', beside ''evil Deed'', that is ''HaRä'' of the middle eastern Tradition, the Opposite of ''HaTov'' of the same Tradition: ''uncorrect Tongue'' let's say, ''uncorrect Eye or uncorrect Wish'', beside ''uncorrect Deed'', it something willingly or unwillingly, otherwise said consciously or unconsciously, done by 1 of the 2, that ''damages'' the other, which is habitually perpetrated ''behind the other's Shoulders'' as it is phrased from neolatin Language, or ''away from the other's Sight'', in a Way that ''the other ignores it'': one may ''blame'' the Partner, one may ''wish that something unpleasant occurs to the Partner'', or ''one may do something that is eventually damageful fot the Partner'', and I prefer to avoid and present Details, despite there is Movie titled ''Gaslight'' (Charles Boyer, Ingrid Bergmann) of some 60 Years ago, that is very ''telling'' about the Subject. ''Salve'' through ''Fides, Spes, Caritas'' to everyone.

[@jeanannedupratt7075]

We are all creatures of Light + of Dark. We attract what we are. At the most, we are here to work on ourselves. By the way, love is unconditional. It is OK to fail. We just pick ourselves up, get help, heal, continue the road like the other 8 billion travellers on it, give ourselves a chance in self care, self love, self respect, pay our dues, be responsable, be accountable, avoid (conscious) mirroring onto others (this is so easy to do, isn't it ?) + basically just carry on. Trusting ourselves. You do you. Ok ? Try a little give + take. None of us are getting out of this alive, remember ?

[@ambershi9023]

True enough! I would love to see you try to tell him the government, that! A fly on the wall, a spider on the ceiling anything just to see you tell them that

[@AnGeLaOYA]

Covert abuse, repeated micro-expressoons of contempt, denial of underlying issues, projection of issues, competition, responsibility avoidance... it can't work!

[@jeanannedupratt7075]

Leave.

[@irakotlik]

Admiring each other is consequesnce of deep love :)) and no, it is not rightful for couples to stay together unless they are two part of one whole… the sacred union though is hard to achieve with mentality that does not see body and sexuslity as the most sacred and wise of all

[@elileather]

Every case is different

[@user-xl4ze9kg9q]

I AM Going to my husband! I know him!

[@bellapaz97]

🕺💖💃💫🌌🌠

[@busylane]

I love number three. I hope I find a man who I can lean on...

[@cf-ry1zo]

What if she can’t lean on her husband for almost anything and she has to be the stronghold of the family?

[@cindypock4949]

How does a man re-earn her trust and respect, if he's tarnished it?

[@redonionsyummy]

Feeling secure...bingo

[@tb-hs4nl]

Perfect❤

[@darenalleyne466]

🫡

[@skibootdier9488]

Most people shouldn't get married in the first place. Marriage is a rotting institution, and men are finally starting to realize it. Don't do it guys.. the odds are not good.

[@jeanannedupratt7075]

Kudos for finally admitting that you know something is amiss (in yourself)+ that you haven't found the road towards self care, self love and self growth which would eventually make you a proper human being. So get on with it, man. And good luck !

[@user-lk3bz1mm2s]

Amen

[@4l4ns4nyi]

Amen