Questions about my Brain Tumor - What's next for me now?

[@emilynoel83]

This is what real beauty is. Someone being truly strong, vulnerable and real. I'm beyond impressed and inspired by your bravery and willingness to share with everyone. You are so loved and I have faith that you will persevere through the tough times. We're all rooting for you!! On top of it all... how does someone look so good after going through all that? You are amazing ❤️❤️❤️

[@Sammiy92]

completely agree she is beautiful in every way

[@roseannae3552]

emilynoel83 I totally agree!! She looks absolutely fabulous!!

[@courtelizz1]

emilynoel83 thanks so much girl that means so much so much to me💋❤️

[@Zara_Brown]

aww. my 2 fave ladies! Emily, i literally go to your videos as my makeup shopping list 😊 i trust you completely, which is rare for me 😂. its so so heart warming to see KZbinrs support each other in their darkest moments. i adore u even more. i knew you were awesome already but ya know. and girl, you're in my prayers daily. youre so strong, i can see that you're so very afraid but this is temporary. in a while you'll look back to this and see how far you've come. you are and will get better. you'll be back better than ever. you're strong and powerful and i know you'll fight until you overcome it all. so much love to you 😙❤😙❤😙❤ love from Scotland xoxo

[@danaritter34]

Oh my god Emily!

[@girlonfire73]

This was extremely hard to watch, and the struggles you must have to go through are evident. You are the bravest person, especially to put your experience on the internet, and we are all here for you. Wishing you a speedy recovery!💗

[@baby916mama]

Steph • extremely hard to watch, I agree. Her bravery is out of this world. All I want to do is help her but for now... I'll just keep her in my prayers &spew them out in to her comments. 🙏❤

[@daphneystrang-frey3257]

Steph • yes I agreed, I'm so proud of her and bravery is out of this world. I'll totally keep Courte in my prayers and I just want Courte to know she can do this...🙏🏽😊🙏🏽😊🙏🏽😊

[@Krista513KC]

was gonna post almost the same comment. I almost cried watching it. shes beautiful & incredibly strong!

[@TriTrina]

Totally agree. She's such and amazingly strong and brave person! I can't even imagine what she's going through.

[@Michellemybelle2012]

Steph • Couldn't agree more. This was a tough one, but also inspiring. She is still moving forward and keeping her chin up. There isn't anything more inspiring than that. Amazing woman!

[@stephanietmua]

You don't sound stupid. We love you so much.

[@LeanneVanBreda]

Aww my love, I just want to let you know that you are going to be okay. I had a stroke at 24 and pretty much everything you've said I can relate to. I couldn't read for about a month afterwards. My speech was terrible, I kept forgetting words in the middle of a sentence and couldn't find a substitute word so I would just stop talking because I couldn't figure out what to say next. I also forgot what I was talking about half the time. I would say the same joke every day not realising I'd already told it. I had speech therapy, occupational therapy and neuropsychology for 18 months after my stroke. Three years after my stroke and you would never have guessed it happened. Stay strong, focus on your achievements every single day and know that all your friends, family and subscribers are rooting for you!!! You will be the picture of health in time!

[@emoliver80]

Leanne Van Breda I'm glad you shared this, and I hope she gets to read it. I would imagine your experience would be very encouraging during a very discouraging time for her, and offer her some hope and give her some idea of what to expect from someone who's had similar struggles ❤ So happy to hear you've fully recovered from your stroke. I couldn't even imagine going thru that at only 24. You are both so incredibly strong!💪👍💓

[@Ashjx0]

I am actually starting graduate school in the fall for speech therapy. My goal is to work with patients who have had strokes and Traumatic brain injuries. It is a big passion of mine so I am so happy to hear you are doing better!

[@LoveTheEighties]

Leanne Van Breda Amazing.... Great recovery story. Love, peace and positivity.

[@amandaschade592]

I am so grateful for my speech and memory therapist. She helped me more than i can ever thank her for. Congrats!

[@IcecreamLeGenD]

Leanne Van Breda I'm glad that you feel better by now. All the best for your future and much much love. May god protect you! Much love

[@maryxoxo9]

You. Are. Not. Stupid!!!! I can't even begin to imagine your frustration but you already sound amazing. I know you probably can't read these comments so I hope someone is reading and explaining them to you. Your strength and will to get better is so inspiring..

[@karensmith9723]

This is honestly making me so emotional, you've made me realise how much I take for granted. You are so strong and I know you'll be back to your old self in no time xxx

[@ElleSimonee]

Karen Smith yeah I cried.

[@mgal6234]

Karen Smith Exactly...I just found her and I am stunned at the bravery it took to post such a struggle. We are here for you, in our prayers , always. ❤️

[@alissas3266]

Sorry I didn't mean to press dislike but I liked it back

[@JRAERAEB]

Courtney, you just had a major surgery on your brain. Please take it easy. I know that you may not be able to read my comment at the moment. But take your time when you are relearning things. Don't be so hard on yourself. you are not stupid. it's going to take time. stay strong and be patient. 💖

[@olivedog1880]

Jonah Rae Donato love this comment

[@KoreanGirlLia]

Jonah Rae Donato love your comment! Very positive love it!

[@nisaregja3059]

Jonah Rae Donato love your comment

[@dimpleeyes]

Well said. 😊

[@emilydorow5448]

I definitely understand the word issue, I had a completely different brain surgery just over a year ago and recently it's become more of a struggle for words. I know what I want to say but the words aren't coming to me, sometimes I can describe the word but it's so hard. Yesterday I spent 20 minutes trying to telling my mom I wanted granola in my yogurt and the closest I got was graham crackers

[@rainbowstars5431]

Emily LikesToSleep omg you poor girl. That has to be so frustrating.

[@usagisquishy8046]

RainbowStars omg I hate your picture, I thought I had a hair on my screen and I rubbed at it for like a minute

[@KachinggaKisses]

This is so hard to watch. :( She went from being incredibly articulate to messing up words and repeating herself. But at the same time its absolutely incredible to see that she is able to articulate herself to this degree after having brain surgery. She is so so strong. I hope you heal quickly!

[@ruqayaalgburi3439]

I completely agree ! Yes, she's a mentally strong individual

[@caitlinkeating8177]

This is very delayed comment, sorry but i just found her channel. I am a Speech Pathologist and she has what is called Aphasia. It will get better with time! She is incredibly smart, strong and young which will help the recovery process. Speech therapy will help her tremendously!

[@StaceyMenard]

Dont you dare be embarrassed you just had brain surgery! You keep your head up and dont let those moments get you down. We are here for you! Yall in the comments best learn some respect! You got this girl, keep your chin up and keep going don't rush it!

[@meganl8177]

I struggled watching this. I cried. I am so sorry this happened to you and I am very confident that you will pull through and relearn all of these things that you are struggling with now. This is only temporary. Please know we love you and I think you are the strongest woman in the world to be documenting this on youtube. One day you will look back at this and it will show you how strong you are, how much you can overcome, and how far you have made it. Keep smiling and keep your head up love.

[@emmalu1984]

megz.loves beauty It truly did break my heart 😢

[@baddestkweeny]

Such a beautiful message ❤

[@courtelizz1]

megz.loves beauty thank you so much babe I love you ❤️

[@Mxdxlinx]

The fact that she managed to make this video is wow. If I was in her place I wouldn't have been able to do it. She's an extreme strong person mentally and physically. What an amazing human :(

[@kaycast03]

This breaks my heart. But please don't feel stupid. You are far from that, what happened to you is out of your control the only thing you can do it get better and try! You'll get it all back...day by day. Don't rush yourself. It'll come to you. We are all here for you! 💕

[@scrappymom7881]

To her mom, I know this is not only hard on your daughter but also on you. I can imagine seeing your daughter struggling like this breaks your heart because you simply want to fix it for her and make it all better. So hugs to you, stay strong and ask for help, you can't do it alone! To the beautiful young lady, please don't feel stupid. I know what you are going through is not easy, it is very frustrating. You have an extremely intelligent mind and right now it's trapped and can't get out like it wants to. But it is only a matter of time before you get those brain connections back. You know your colors, you know your words, you know how to do things in your life. The brain simply has to reconnect so all the things you know can get out again. You probably feel sad or upset most days. Stay strong sweetie, because you are an amazing woman, you have a wonderful soul, and I can tell you don't give up. Plus you have your family and friends, and loads of people out here that care very much about you!!! It's ok that you aren't perfect today, or tomorrow, or the day after. Because you're getting stronger each day, and to be honest you are exactly perfect right now. So each improvement you make, each goal you reach, each hurdle you make it through will make you even more amazing than you already are. Videos are welcomed, but focus on you, not us. As often as you'd like, I'll keep watching your progress :) hugs dear lady

[@janwarner]

Thank you. Courtney had surgery May 8 and my husband (her dad) had open heart surgery 3 days later so my life is a little out of control right now! Everyone is improving everyday, thank you for the words of encouragement!

[@tjellis1024]

Vernor Warner My prayers are with all of you for strength, healing and peace. 💗

[@wendyward6769]

Vernor Warner If this is Courtney's sweet Mom, God Bless you. I Pray a hedge of protection around you both. Miracles do happen and I pray for one for Courtney and your husband this seems to have had surgery too, according to the comments you listed. Bless you Precious! 😘🌷🌻

[@3saphires1garnet15]

scrappy mom Beautifully said!! Spot on.

[@3saphires1garnet15]

Vernor Warner My heart hurts that you are going through so much. I hope you have family and friends surrounding you and your family with love. Best to all of you. 💐

[@alexandram6081]

Hearing the speech impediment as a result of the tumor and surgery is really shocking . Sad but really interesting. I'm so sorry this happened to you, but hopefully in the future you'll be able to look back and see how far you've come from this point!

[@oliviafiggy5287]

Alexandra M I

[@DoveEnigma13]

She has recovered so well. Really incredible. I haven’t recovered nearly as much. I did some, but I hit a point where I haven’t gotten better. I still have problems with words and so tired all the time. I’m really proud of her.

[@mmadi20]

@@DoveEnigma13 wishing you a speedy recovery, you are strong, you can do this ❤

[@DoveEnigma13]

Madina Sharifi I’ve probably recovered as much as I’m going to. I ignored the symptoms for too long and did too much damage. Thank you for the encouragement

[@mmadi20]

@@DoveEnigma13 I understand, that must be very difficult... Sorry you have to go through that. I still wish you a happy life full of love and laughter. Sending you hugs and positive vibes

[@sarakyoutube]

You are always in my thoughts. Always. Please know I am always here for you. Keep pushing my love... keep pushing

[@sarakyoutube]

I want you to know I'm here and understand... i have a serious brain injury and everything you've said is literally me. I'm just trying to say If you need someone who gets it Im here 😔

[@Jojoyou628]

Sara K i love u Sara❤️🤗

[@kerriandrew1323]

I love both of you girls! In my eyes you are some beautiful inspirational people. We are blessed to have you in this world. I really wish there were more people like you both. All my love and best wishes, Kerri ❤❤

[@KatieTheMakeupJunkie]

Girl, I didn't even have brain surgery, and you still filmed, edited, and uploaded better than I ever do. You're doing great! Glad you shared and I'll keep watching :)

[@gailhall1830]

Hey sweetie. I was happy to see you on Tuesday. I know you will have a full recovery and come back to us here at DAAS. You are so brave and your heart is so sweet. You are not stupid. You have major challenges to overcome and you will. Yes, continue to make your videos. Seeing how well you are doing now is amazing, and all will be restored in time. Love you! Keep believing in yourself.

[@lindan779]

for all the heartless no Brainers that disliked this video, you have no shame!!! this beautiful human being just had brain surgery which I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want to go thru!! She Is amazing in how she is coming out and sharing what she went through. Honey, you will get better no doubt about that. It takes time. You sound wonderful and smart, you are NOT stupid, don't even say that. I will keep you in my prayers so you can have a full healthy and complete recovery. You are beautiful inside and out...God bless you!!!

[@kassn1103]

Linda Nava couldnt have said it any better

[@sweetluvgurl]

Some people dislike videos, because they don't like the topic that it is negative. So, it's not always meant as rude and insulting. Like I think people dislike cancer type videos sometimes, because they dislike the situation

[@MelsBeautyHangout]

You are doing A LOT for just having brain surgery. You should be so proud of how brave you are. Brain surgery is no joke. Little steps each day!

[@estefaniaa794]

you're doing great bc you're trying.

[@iloveSeungHyun09]

Hey dear, please don't be so hard on yourself. Take all the time you need to recover and heal. We will all still be here rooting for you. We understand that it takes time. Take it day by day, don't pressure yourself.

[@natalialondono2757]

iloveSeungHyun09 I was thinking the same thing She should take a step back,Imean it was a brain surgery not something ambulatory,instead of worrying,she should laugh at her silly moments

[@makeupacadia]

You're doing a great job talking love, I hope you don't get frustrated too badly with yourself because we can all understand you perfectly :)

[@caytiebeard5930]

First of all, damn everybody who isn't bright enough to figure that your face is swollen from, you know, the pretty extensive HEAD SURGERY you just had. And to hell with anyone who felt the need to point that out, anyway. Lots of people gain and lose weight in the hospital. In either case, that's not something anyone with class points out. I'm sorry that's even something people could think to mention. Secondly, I just wanted to say that I'm a cancer survivor. I was diagnosed with Leukemia in 2014, and have been in remission since the end of that same year. That being said, try and be patient with yourself. So many of your struggles speak to me because, while the issues were different (your speech is impaired while my physical strength was impaired), the emotional effect is something I understand well and truly. Try and find patience with yourself. And try to allow yourself to be sad. You'll have days where you're totally okay, and then you'll have days where you hate everybody and everything. You'll have days where you're sad and angry in spite of all the good things people are doing for you. You're going to be mad and sad about things you know you wouldn't be otherwise-- in spite of everyone else's kindest efforts. And all of that is okay. You are allowed to feel all of those things. I was fortunate enough to have someone remind me of that when I was at my worst: I'm allowed. You are allowed to feel whatever you're feeling, and I hope you stumble across this comment (and SO many others) and that it makes you feel a little more at ease with yourself. You're doing great, Courtney. You'll wake up soon, and this will all be over. I promise. Everything is going to be okay, and in the meantime, you have my thoughts and prayers. 😘❤️

[@laurameier9825]

I know the "weight gaining" from my dad. Luckily he doesn't have cancer and I don't even want to campare his condition to hers but he often gets medication which can actually make you gain weight or at least make it appear as so like in her case. I think it's so stupid and just unbelievable how people can be bitter enough to bring other wonderful people down with their unnecessary comments

[@Molbook]

Steroids, which brain cancer/surgery patients often have to take, usually result in weight gain from increased appetite.

[@isidesiwas6680]

I found your channel right after you posted the last video. It's a reality check for everyone here, me, complaining about stupid things all the time.. I want you to know, that in my eyes you are extremely brave for telling us about your struggles. You are so strong you will recover, it will take some time, but trust yourself, our bodies are so incredibly made that we can adapt to anything! Put your trust in God, you will get better in time and everything in your life will too ♡ You are honestly the strongest person I've seen in a while. Sending hugs and prayers your way.

[@JessieUsry]

Thanks for sharing! I'm a speech therapist and work with individuals with similar situations as yours all the time.. hang in there . You will continue to get better each day. Don't be hard on yourself. You're doing amazing !

[@badwolf2308]

Jessie Grace question since you work in that field. I noticed she was repeating herself a lot over and over. Do you know why she does that? Just curious, not attacking her or anything. Thanks!

[@makeupacadia]

Bad Wolf I was wondering the same thing. I was curious if she's either a) forgetting she said it b) thinking she's saying it differently each time or c) just trying to make sense to herself?

[@JessieUsry]

It's called perseveration. The brain gets fixated on one thing and it's hard to switch topics . Some people are very aware of it and some aren't aware.

[@kikalove1416]

Acadia Mercer, why are you all speaking like this is not her page! Get out of here

[@NyaJtv]

Kika Love1 come on, no one is offending her, most ppl have no clue what happens when someone has a tbi. They just want to understand where and why the change is happening. Maybe your the one the needs to check your self. Educating your self on how to be more empathetic is not a bad thing that's all these girls are trying to do.

[@willowmitchell5350]

I had a bad reaction to a medicine years ago that had me trapped inside my head unable to talk properly, couldn't sign my name, didn't have any fine motor skills, couldn't make sense speaking to others so no one understood me and thankfully an outsider told my family to take me back to my doctors and that's how we found out the medication atrophied a piece of my brain. Watching this video gives me a bit more perspective how it was for those around me while I was unable to communicate. I totally understand it wasn't identical or anything like that...... by the way keep up all the progress and get well soon!

[@charlizeriv2001]

It definitely seems like the medicine messed with your Frontal Lobe, which makes sense that you did not have any fine motor skills because your somatosensory Cortex is on the precentral Gyrus on your Frontal Lobe, but there is also the Broca’s Area, which was why you could not talk properly, but could understand others. Anyways, I hope you are way better now :-))

[@betsypedroza6788]

This brings me to tears. I feel for you and I can see how much you are struggling to communicate everything to us. Just know baby girl, we are all here for you and we are all praying for you. Yo are a very strong girl and I know, from the bottom of my heart, you are going to overcome this and become even stronger then before. We all love you soooooo much💕

[@ashleynewman6335]

If my arm is sore I don't do anything. You have a hard time knowing what you're saying, seeing and reading but you're filming, editing and uploading. You are GOALS. Praying for you!! 💕💕

[@DeathValleyDebbie]

Ashley Rockwell amen!

[@courtelizz1]

Ashley Rockwell thanks so much babe I love you❤️

[@bridgettedejuan6591]

I just want to say, I just happened to stumble on your video! Number one you are so strong!! You go girl! Number two, I was 13 and woke up one day and I could no longer walk. I used to be a ballerina dancer and a runner and here I was waking up to a completely different life. I felt useless and like my life had been robbed, and almost like as if I was a prisoner in my own body. If I am able to offer you any words of wisdom, do not give up. Do not feel discouraged. Try to remember that just because you cannot do something today, doesn't mean that you won't be able to do it tomorrow. Be patient with yourself and have a lot of encouraging words for yourself, you are your own warrior and you will get there girl. You are a survivor!

[@thelilshorty55]

This literally broke my heart.❤️ you're such a strong person. You're in my prayers ❤️

[@courtelizz1]

Cheyenne Black thanks love😍

[@jreddotcom]

I think it would be nice to see your progression with speech and reading and memory. I'd like to see how you're doing.

[@Melissa0774]

Has anyone suggested music therapy? You use a different part of the brain to sing than you do for speech. Practicing singing can help with speech problems.

[@mellierubin5960]

Don't be so hard on yourself. I have medical issues. I don't have a brain tumor but I was diagnosed with cancer in 2011, then again in 2o13 and 2015. I had radiation 5 days a week for 8 weeks and I also had chemo. I have head and neck cancer. I lost my hair and my face is disfiguted. i am now in the process of losing my teeth. It hurts my heart that you have so much to deal with and terrible, horrible people ask or say things like wby do you look fat. To be honest you should not have to worry about things like that. You will get better and dont pay attention to negative comments. Only listeen to positive comments. Positive comments lift you up.

[@kl1173]

Mellie Rubin you are amazing! Wishing you all the best lovely 👍💕

[@kyshanclare6969]

Mellie Rubin ❤️💕💕💕❤️

[@KatieMeehan]

Hi Mellie, I'm a beauty blogger with a facial disfigurement and I would really love to connect with you. Do you have a Twitter or something I could follow? You are so so so brave, sending my love xxx

[@kpopfanforever7720]

Mellie Rubin so you still have cancer? just curious. wow I'm so sorry. you're such a beautiful and strong human being! I'm praying for you

[@blueheaven2135]

Mellie Rubin prayers for you❤

[@brittanytaylor2911]

You're not stupid. This is something that was out of your control, and something that will take hard work to get through. Keep your head up and remember you are so intelligent and so beautiful, it will take healing and time. You're so inspiring!

[@duckcluck123]

wow the possible effects of brain surgery are really interesting I just watched the I have a brain tumor video, and she seems like a totally different person here

[@lillyl6901]

duckcluck123 i agree completely! I just watched the other video and directly after it, I clicked on this one. I was shocked how her voice changed and even her personality 😱 but it's really impressive how she's coping right?

[@paigecastaneda676]

I just did the same thing too! Poor baby. The brain is a mysterious thing. She's really trying. You know that she wants to talk and express herself and things are not communicating 100% and she gets frustrated that she can't understand and connect the different pieces.

[@ByeByeBelly]

huh? she seems like the same person whos having some speech difficulties. her personality seemed the same

[@WhoStoleTheTarts1]

Wow, i think you're going to watch this video back and see how far you've come. You're doing an amazing job!

[@alexastafford1523]

I hope soon you are able to read this and all the amazing comments other people have left you. my boyfriend had a brain tumor years ago, had it removed, and had many many many medical complications for years because of it and his particular situation wasn't great. BUT I want you to know, today he lives his life pretty much just as normal as anyone else would. When he was going through hell I dont think he ever imagined he'd be okay again, he had no hope and no patience with the process. please believe that IT GETS BETTER ...I PROMISE. Its okay to be angry, its okay to be frustrated, just dont ever give up on the process. Each day is another step closer to feeling like your self again. I personally think you are doing incredible for where you are right now. just a few weeks out from your surgery date and you're already able to figure out how to film & post a video! Thats so great! I know words are getting jumbled up, you can't see well, or read but be patient pretty girl...youre going to be just fine ❤

[@sweetluvgurl]

I can't even believe people mention "her face looking fat" with this situation that is going on. Wow. Some people are just so heartless, and it just shows they have never really been through anything in life when that is their main concern. And by the way, Courtney, you just had major brain surgery and a tumor. Don't be so hard on yourself. Give yourself time. It will get better.

[@carrievaughn6165]

Those people Are Assholes!

[@ForrestFinn11]

I can't imagine what you're going through... This was very, very hard to watch. I can tell you are struggling. You are so so so brave to put this entire thing on the internet. Every day is a new day, try and stay positive! My grandma had a brain injury from falling and had to have surgery on her brain, and she still struggles to this day, its been 4 years! She will forget words, repeat things, all that. Its hard talking to her at times cause she wants to say something and knows what she wants to say but cant say it, if that makes sense. Everyday is a new battle, you can get through this! Hoping you have a speeeeedy recovery!

[@alexisreneexo]

This is hard to listen to and watch. You can hear the speech issues so much. I wishing for a speedy recovery for you. You're extremely brave. Best of luck

[@JenniferCove]

It's more of a perception and communication issue than a motor/speech issue... it sounfs like they expect it to improve dramatically over time. Would be a very hard thing to go through

[@zariaturner9494]

I got so teary eyed. You can tell you're struggling to talk and think of the things to say. You go baby girl. You're so strong ❤️

[@_Brattitude]

She’s doing well speaking

[@saraelizabeth2585]

Expressive aphasia is easily resolved at your age! You are so beautiful and brave! Keep o keeping on girl!

[@ThisIsAlessandra]

Sara Mandernach although it is likely she may spontaneously regain language because of her young age and brain plasticity, you cannot say that expressive aphasia is easily resolved.. with treatment and speech therapy it will increase the chances of recovery. She is so strong and brave like you said which is a HUGE part of recovery!

[@granciee7029]

Anyone who asks a question about you looking fat is an ignorant person and just ignore them! You are beautiful!

[@Noneya0011]

Charlotte Embry exactly what I thought! Some people are just plain rude!

[@emmalu1984]

Charlotte Embry What a horrible thing to say to someone that is going thru all this. 😳

[@granciee7029]

What in the world are you talking about? Did you watch the video? She said ppl were asking her why she was fat which I find hard to believe. Don't chastise me for being encouraging! Can you even read?

[@emmalu1984]

Charlotte Embry​ Whaaat? I was agreeing with what u said. It is a horrible thing to say to someone that is going thru all this pain. People are just cruel.

[@MKJR_]

I looked up "Strength" in the dictionary and it had a link to this video.

[@joyful7650]

J. Arrr For real!

[@rachelespinosa4620]

As someone who has had a brain injury, I know how you feel. I am so sorry you have to go through this. I know it feels like your stupid but you're not. The brain and body is so amazing and complex. It sounds like you have learned A LOT over the past 6 weeks and you should be proud of yourself. I'm proud of you. Some days are better than others. Too steps forward, one step back. Also, don't feel like you are a bother to your family, I used to feel that way. I'd love to watch more videos and vlogs! You're so inspiring! Keep fighting and know that you are loved!❤️

[@ralucamot4718]

You don't look stupid , you are so strong talking about this ! That's a hard experience that life is giving you , but remember that everything happens for a reason . Keep being strong !!

[@vonpesso]

So, normally after a big surgery the body goes through different fases of healing. You are doing a great job with your speech but in the beginning it might have felt easier because the healing was a little faster the first hours and also because thats before the swelling has begun and there's no scar tissue forming yet. After a while in the process of healing the swelling gets really bad and kind of peaks. Thats the bodys trying to protect the healing area and thats probably whats causing you to feel like you were doing better with your speech in the beginning and then something happened that made it harder. The swelling then starts slowly to go down and you are going to see a great improvement when that happens. It takes time and is completely normal but I understand that it must be really really frustrating. I honestly am amazingly impressed with how you are doing and speaking like this after such a short time and I am no doctor but I would definetly expect a full recovery at this pace. Just don't be too hard on yourself, you are not stupid even if you feel like it. I would say that you are definetly one of the strongest and brightest people I have come across on the internet. You are truly an inspiration. I can only imagine how even the simplest little tasks like going to the bathroom must be such a struggle right now and you are not only doing that you are even posting videos on KZbin and doing make-up tutorials during recovery! That is freaking amazing. I always wanted to start a legit Youtubue channel but I never had the courage and the commitment and drive to actually go through with it, you on the other hand are keeping your channel up even though you are going through one of the hardest times that anyone could ever go through. I must say I just came across your channel but you have definetly won a new subscriber. I just wish there was something more I could do for you. My prayers are with you

[@Rhoobee91]

Please don't ever for a second think you are stupid. You've just recovered from a serious operation! Give it time, take everything day by day there is no rush, and before you know it you will be able to pick words up again. You're an incredibly brave woman to go through all of this. You will be back to yourself in no time xx

[@amandapalmer9402]

These comments may be difficult to read, but I hope your mom will read them to you so you can see how everyone is pouring out their love and support for you and your family. I cannot imagine how difficult this time is for you. You are such a bright and exuberant person, and this surgery has not changed that. Even if your speech, vision, and memory recall doesn't improve immediately, you are working towards that goal every day. This tumor will not defeat you. You are way too strong for that. I know your students, youtube community, family and friends are fighting this fight with you every day. We all wish you a great recovery, and stand with you when you feel like giving up. Thank you for making this video. XOXO, I'm praying for you and your family.

[@monicagutierrez9923]

Amanda PalmTree this is the most beautiful comment i read. Thank you for having a hreat heart and answering in this way.

[@georginapalmer6857]

I'm so sorry that you are feeling frustrated after your surgery. I think you are doing incredibly well. You just made a 13 minute video only weeks after major brain surgery!! You are so brave and so amazingly strong. Recovery is about small steps towards the end goal, even if sometimes it feels as though you are going backwards. Sending love and best wishes to you, you are making amazing progress xxx

[@lindsthomas9590]

You are so brave and strong and inspirational. Just sitting down to make this video shows incredible strength. Just take things one day at a time, and it will all come back to you! You just had a brain surgery! What a remarkable human being you are! Thank you for making this video and for being so strong and brave. We all love and admire you so so much!

[@courtelizz1]

Lindsay T thanks so much babe I love you❤️

[@lilgfunk5934]

omg you can read it again? if you read this hi hi, Court, Hi

[@emmirue]

Hey lovely, I hadn't seen your channel until very recently. I was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2011, and can say I'm a survivor and completely healthy today! What you're going through must be so, so scary, and I've been there. If you ever need someone to talk with/be there to listen/get advice from--- I'm here. Stay strong

[@eye7360]

the people who disliked this video must have thought it meant 'dis I like'

[@sweetluvgurl]

Some people dislike videos, because they don't like the topic that it is negative. So, it's not always meant as rude and insulting. Like I think people dislike cancer type videos sometimes, because they dislike the situation

[@Surdeigt]

Emmie Mouse i think some people actually press the dislike-button to emphasis with the person. It means "I'm sorry", not "you are awful". That is what I have seen, it is a little like people who use "😂", and doesn't know it means laughing, but think it means crying.

[@Jessica-iq3id]

THIS COMMENT....FUCKING. GOLD.😂😃😂🤣😂😃😂🤣😂

[@bekahhooper9852]

p.s who the hell would ask why she got fat? thats absolutely ridiculous! She isnt fat at all and that is humiliating to ask anyone much less a beautiful girl going thru such a major thing as brain surgery! wow i am shocked that some people are so into vanity when whats important is just being healthy, supported and loved!

[@leongirl]

Bekah H. That's exactly what I thought! People can be so fuckin rude. She just had brain surgery for God's sakes. She's doing so good after going through such a major surgery.

[@esthercastell1306]

I agree Becka!! So fucking rude, she honestly shouldn't have to explain herself, and she's still beautiful anyway

[@kasualbeauty309]

Bekah H. that probably wasnt how the question was asked she cant remember words she couldnt remember swollen she was saying frozen. "fat" was probably the closest word she could put her tongue on atm. at least thats how i would see it im not a pessimist i try to find light everywhere

[@jennywatts7910]

Someone in her last video commented about her face being "bigger" and said it was fat .. and that is soo horrible that they said that , I was sooo pissed when I read it .. I mean for heavens sake she has just had brain surgery .. I figured she was swollen ... some people are just soo dang RUDE though ... she's amazing to even put her self out here and try to do a makeup tutorial !! She does better than most of us, when there isn't anything wrong ! I'm totally inspired by her for sure !!!

[@vloggingblonde]

Been thinking about you SO much!

[@courtelizz1]

vloggingblonde Love you😍

[@ByJaiMonet]

This is soo hard to watch so I can't imagine how hard it was to film... I really hope that everything gets better! Some how I stumbled across the first video a few weeks ago and it touched me so much I was non stop crying. Your an amazing woman to be able to get through this the way that you have. Never delete this video so in a year or so you can look back and see how far you have come, you will be so proud of yourself!

[@lisarodriguez1606]

I had to stop watching this video because it's breaking my heart to see you this way. I can see the struggle your having speaking but please know your are so BRAVE and POSITIVE in your recovery. Keep doing what your doing because all of your hard work will pay off. Always remember, God knows what he's doing. He only gives us as much as we can handle and he knows you are very strong and you will get thru this. May he continue to bless you and give you the strength each and every day. You will continue to be in my prayers for a speedy and healthy recovery. God bless you and your family.

[@breatheinbreatheout7568]

Lisa Rodriguez if this is God's doing, I wonder what the Devil is for.

[@courtelizz1]

Lisa Rodriguez thanks so much babe I love you❤️

[@lisarodriguez1606]

Awww, thank you so much for your response. your so welcome and your loved right back. xoxoxoxoxo

[@Godwill3]

God did not do this, capitalism has ruined what we eat and the pollution, we have ruined this earth and we need to do better.

[@shelbydaniellee]

Wow...the bravery, the beauty, the rawness you are showing. Girl you are AMAZING! This is a chapter in your beautifully written book about your life. Everything happens for a reason and you have a big purpose in life. I'm praying for you! ❤

[@AMMA92244]

Stay positive. My mom had a brain tumor removed and like you she had many challenges. She suffered stroke during the surgery. Not only did she struggled with speech but also with not walking. Her recovery was short, yet intense. I was so scared. Like you, echolelia was an issue: repeating words over and over. But it goes away. As your brain calms down, things start to return to normal.

[@amberamber100]

Girl you are an utter inspiration. Please don't get disheartened because your progress is so impressive. You'll get there eventually darling. We are all praying for you xxx

[@samanthagaudet1461]

You will get there. We will support you. Give yourself some credit. You need time to heal. Bless you.

[@samanthagaudet1461]

Still praying for you here in Canada.

[@Vivalavive]

The brain is such a crazy thing... because at first glance; she looks fine. Her scar is barely noticeable. Like I thought she was gonna get like half of her head shaved. She acts so normal & can speak so clearly & then you start to hear her repeating her sentences over & over again just in different ways & you know she's struggling trying to find words. 😩 ugh my heart breaks for you. HANG IN THERE MAMA! YOU'RE DOING SO WELL!!! ❤️

[@claudia-kw1kb]

The human brain is a beautiful, wonderful thing. You are still so young and healthy! Your brain will relearn new information as time passes! Don't fret, soon you'll be reading all these lovely comments again.

[@pippaDlightful]

Familiar Concern Best Comment Award for you 💖😆💌

[@nicoleramsay9166]

My nan had a brain tumour. When she was recovering she found it really hard to string a full sentence together and it took her a long time to respond to people who spoke to her. we were all so worried she would stay like that and it was horrible seeing her struggle. But 8 years on, she's 65, she runs marathons, she goes to the gym everyday, she does dance and she still teaches young nurses at her local hospital. It will get better/easier it just takes a lot of patience🖤you're so strong🖤🖤

[@laurenrawding2012]

You are so strong! After I had brain surgery for a solid 10 days in hospital afterwards I didn't use my phone because I couldn't type, I didn't watch tv or talk to anyone. I just stared at the hospital wall because I was that depressed. How you made this video is beyond me! I had a head bandage on for a month and had to learn to walk and was sleeping like 18 hours a day. I couldn't even sit up for months and just spent the day laying down. I remember how frustrating articulating words and thoughts was but it does get better once your brain recovers. I just can't even get over this rn like you made this whole video, edited it and posted it. People watching this have no clue. You're absolutely incredible!

[@tides0ftime]

The brain is an amazing thing. My sister just suffered a TBI and had the same issue as you. We all were able to understand what you were saying so don't feel bad about that. You will get better every single day. Don't be hard on yourself. Some days will be bad but your hard work will pay off.

[@SarahBevElizabeth]

I honestly understand you perfectly 98% of the time! It was only once or twice that I noticed something you said was mixed up from what you were trying to say. Especially so soon after brain surgery! You're doing really well

[@AlyssaAllDayVlogs]

I can only imagine how difficult this journey is for you. Hopefully the aphasia gets better with time. You're doing great girl, just believe in yourself. Take your time and give yourself some grace. Sending lots of hugs your way. 💜💜

[@kyras.korner]

I prayed for you so much on the day of your surgery, and I will continue to do so! Please remember this is only temporary...you are extremely strong and you will get through this ❤️❤️

[@donnajohnson4474]

Kyra Abernathy w I know how you feel you're beautiful and keep on trying you'll make it you'll beat this cancer

[@makenziesego1503]

This is temporary! You WILL get better! You are so strong and you will make it through this. Time is the ultimate healer.

[@mrskimhowell]

Hi, I found your video when searching about brain tumour recovery stories. I was recently diagnosed with a brain tumour and have had it removed successfully but am also struggling with the recovery process. I get so angry at myself all the the me because I struggle to do the simplest things. I'm very happy to hear that your on the road to recovery and I hope you continue to get good news. Sending love and just want to let you know I understand. Xxxx

[@valerieowenssalem5961]

You've got to be the bravest, most fearless woman I've ever known. You're fighting so hard to overcome the limitations from your surgery and all of us watching to support you can see your perseverance and strength. As a mother myself my heart goes out to your mom while she's helping you and supporting you through this very difficult time. God bless you my dear and God willing you will be fully recovered soon. I'd love to watch your progress videos and updates ❤️

[@sianaskm]

*You are extremely inspirational. This is not the end of your story just a chapter. you will be good babe.X*

[@lindalilacs]

I'm in tears. I SO feel your frustration and heartbreak. I had a stroke caused by a blood clot which, in turn caused bleeds and a resulting coma 20 years ago and it left me with deficits - mostly speech. This video took me right back to that horrible time of knowing what you want to say, but not being able to find the words or say them correctly and in the right order. I think you are doing beautifully! And I'm here to tell you that it WILL GET BETTER!!! Keep pushing yourself, but realize that you will have to relearn and that it might never be 100%. Not to be discouraging...just know that it might give you difficulty throughout your life. BUT, you CAN live a normal life with it! At this point I know when I've messed up, but those around me say they can't tell. I call that success!! Please know that you are not alone! This may take a lifetime, but you will continue to improve and, while your new normal will be very different from before, you will still have an incredible quality of life! Prayers for your continued recovery! I know you can do it!!

[@xSerenaVDWoodsen]

Thank you for doing this update. You didn't have to do this but you chose to anyways which is something I'm really grateful for as a long time subscriber. Don't be so hard on yourself. Give yourself time. You will get there eventually. You just had brain surgery. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're not a super hero. You're human! Be patient with yourself and forgive yourself for not being able to do everything right now. You will eventually. Sending you love.

[@KaylaLovesLink]

It makes me happy to see an update from you! What do you do with your speech therapist? Have you tried using flash cards for things you can't remember? You can make some flash cards for colors. And for spelling it may be a good idea to write a daily journal and ask someone for the words you cant spell. But I don't know. I'm not a doctor, I'm just studying to be a teacher lol. But I know the two methods with flash cards & daily journaling might be useful, because they are useful when learning new subjects and languages. But I'm sure your doctors and speech therapist are already helping you with other methods too. 💙 You're doing great! Don't give up! :)

[@sneepsnorp1404]

I hope she sees this comment. I'm sure this advise would be helpful.

[@SneezyBree7]

i don't know how i got here, but i'm grateful i did. this was difficult to watch, but also incredibly inspiring. although it did bring back bad memories (my mom was in a car accident when i was a child and had to have emergency brain surgery; she had to re-learn everything, too), it also reminded me that a complete recovery is indeed possible. with your attitude, i'm sure you'll get there. your vulnerability is so pure, it's kind of freaking me out, which is depressing if you think about it, because the world would be a much better place if everyone were as genuine as you are. you're incredibly brave; thank you so much for sharing your journey with us.

[@kay_realista]

You are seriously incredible! The fact that you are dedicating your time to making videos when it's hard enough, you are such a humble person! I pray that you have a fast recovery! So many people are here for you!

[@miaj52]

You said you just want to be "normal" again. But we all see you as normal and we're glad your okay. We love you❤️

[@farahshaheen7657]

Mia Elder she may be physically normal. But mentally, she feels trapped in a way. She was fine before the surgery, doing every day to day things. Then after the surgery she lost a pretty big percentage of that. It's a horrible feeling.

[@miaj52]

Farah Shah I know that. But my point is, is no matter what she feels we all are gonna love her no matter what the circumstance is. And she's not alone we're here for her.

[@karlapdelmoral]

I am so glad I saw your video, I'm a nursing student and I'll be spending my last 3 months in Neuro ICU where I will get to spend time with patients that have brain tumors, strokes, head trauma etc....I would absolutely love you see more videos about your weekly journey to be able to understand others with similar stories. Thank you for your strength and true beauty, people like you give us purpose.

[@Brittanybavery]

You will get there and everything will be better. Find things to help you relax as much as possible and don't push yourself too hard. If you need anyone to talk to feel free to reach out!

[@aasiyahsumaiyahsantiago8621]

This absolutely broke my heart, to see how sad you are but we are very proud of you!!! You're doing amazingly!

[@katiebazzell4002]

As a nurse I know aphasia can be debilitating! I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers sweetheart! I love your videos and your sweet soul definitely shines through! You're doing great! ❤️Katie

[@brittanytaylor2911]

Please keep us updated on your healing, we all are supporting you!

[@TheHopeShed]

This was incredibly hard watch! It's so heart breaking to see your struggle! Sending lots of prayers for you sweetie!!

[@mccreepin15]

I just found your channel and I'm in awe with your bravery. You have no idea now, but by showing the world the struggles of cancer and surgical procedures you WILL help a lot of people. You were AND are an extremely intelligent individual, it will take time. Don't forget MUSCLE MEMORY. Your brain is a muscle and it retains knowledge and memories. Relearning will be possible!

[@kimkardashianofficial]

Bless you. It amazes me how beauty was how you started KZbin and now the main point that comes across is that beauty is truly within. Your strength shines through. I hope your recovery is as fast and stress free as possible. You're clearly a very determined and strong young person I have no doubt you'll thrive.

[@nirinagrace6402]

That was so hard to watch. I am so sorry you are going through this! I understood what you were trying to say at times, but it wouldn't come across completely how you wanted to say it, which was so heartbreaking. You are still as beautiful as ever and we are all hear for you! I would love update videos from you to be able to support you through this. Stay strong girl!

[@annetteg.r.i.p1491]

Firstly you are NOT stupid!! I know how hard everything is for you right now, but you ARE brave!! And you ARE beautiful!! And I think and I know everyone on here think you ARE fantastic and incredibly BRAVE!!! God Bless You !! Try tell yourself when you remember, look in the mirror " I AM Beautiful I AM Brave and I am going to kick this Tumours Ass!!" Each and everyone of us is rooting for you and praying for you!! You are incredibly STRONG!!! tfs hun and God Bless you xxx

[@PrincessJess225]

Don't be so hard on yourself!!! You just had brain surgery girl take it easy on yourself! You will be back to normal before you know it. Stay strong!

[@PrincessJess225]

Ps I'd love to see updates on your progress

[@TabathaTaylor]

This breaks my heart😢 stay strong beautiful angel

[@aimeer9398]

It is 2023 and I just found your videos. I had a walnut size tumor removed last year. I underwent radiation, lost some hair and it is finally growing back after 2 1/2 months. My symptom was just mild headache - pain level 1 but it was everyday and it irritated me so after a month of mild headaches, finally went to see my doctor and diagnosed as sinus headache. Antibiotic didn't help so he decided that I went for a CT but he changed this to MRI and lo and behold, I had tumor and it was swelling. Recommended that I went to ER for faster medical attention but since I was on aspirin, had to wait 1 week before I could have surgery. Surgery went well and I feel lucky that no brain functions were affected. I feel sorry for people who suffer the effects of the tumor but "Hats Off" to you for being so brave. You are so strong and I am sure you will overcome the obstacles that this tumor brings. Love and prayers for you and your family.

[@arveehooviiva]

youre SUCH A STRONG GIRL and you will be fine !

[@KristaCannady]

Wow sending you so many prayers. I can't imagine, remember you made it through, you are sitting here talking to us, editing, filming, etc. It will get better, and I know you know that. Like others have said - do not feel pressured to continue making KZbin right now. Focus on yourself and we will be here when you are ready.

[@hellokitty-pc7ir]

Please do not feel stupid! You just had brain surgery it is okay for you to have to learn these things again! You don't need to cry you will get everything right eventually you just gave to learn and you are normal! Your extraordinary! Your absolutely amazing for going through this and staying strong and still making KZbin videos! I'm so proud cc

[@carleygray5139]

A long road to recovery, but we are all rooting for you! I don't know how long the brain takes to redistribute the brain functions, but it will happen with time. You're so smart and beautiful. Best wishes! ♥️

[@carleygray5139]

Side note: maybe your progress went down because your brain is in the process of redistributing! It probably gets worse before it gets better!

[@Andrea-vd1jr]

It would be awesome if we saw weekly updates so we could have an idea of how you're doing. I really hope you feel like yourself soon ❤️ It's amazing how much of an effort you make despite how difficult everything must be for you at this time.

[@song5361]

I believe yo my are in Michigan - you mentioned Henry Ford Hospital. If you are - you have split vision - if you live in Michigan, call the University of Michigan Kellogg Eye Center and ask to see Dr. Furr He is a specialist and he can give you stickers to put on a pair of glasses (get some with no prescription if you don't need it), and that will help you. As your vision changes, he can give you a new sticker. If I am wrong, you can ask for "Prism" stickers from eye specialists. I went temporarily blind from swelling behind my eyes, and I still have vision like you described, and I was saved with prisms. It took a year of new stickers every week or two with Dr. Furr but tell an eye doctor, because they might be able to fix it. You're doing so well, you're not stupid, you had a brain tumor - you are still here, you just can't connect the pieces at this moment. It will get better! You don't ever sound stupid!

[@briannemarie8551]

Lindsay Song I needed those too, but they are much more useful if you mix it with visual therapy.

[@stephanielburrell]

this hurts my heart. such a thing to go through. but you are strong.

[@courtelizz1]

Stephanie Calhoun thanks so much love❤️