5 Reasons You Should STOP Being Nervous Around Women | Courtney Ryan

[@JohnyWisdom-e3k]

The fact that nobody talks about forbidden books on Revandles is so insanee

[@OscarNew.1]

This website was a great find! I purchased a book that’s already making a positive impact on my mindset. Fingers crossed it helps me overcome my fear of approaching women.

[@JackBrownWicked]

​@@OscarNew.1 Can you tell me where to find that ?

[@JohnyWisdom-e3k]

@@JackBrownWicked Just type in Revandles on google or youtube

[@o0QuAdSh0t0o]

1. Girls get nervous too 2. Do you even like her? 3. Do not overthink it 4. Stop trying to impress her 5. Rejection is normal

[@codychen9036]

I’d like to add, we’re all human and we should think of each other as equals

[@LatimusChadimus]

@@codychen9036 equally human, for sure. There are still good and bad people so it is still good to be on guard when dealing with someone, man or woman, that you don't know

[@NikiDimitrov]

The majority of the time you get rejected.

[@tonygicz8]

Don't put her on a pedestal.

[@rockoutconsiderably]

Don't just look at this list, make sure to watch the whole video

[@lfr2112]

Guys that get nervous do so for mainly two reasons: A) we're interested and are constantly telling ourselves, mentally, "do not f-ck this up"; you might not like to read this, but many guys are aware that many girls will get easily turned off by trivial things, and that can put a guy on edge, and, B) as some people have pointed out in other comments, there's the worry of harassment accusations. Also, a nervous woman is viewed as "cute" and "endearing", but a nervous man is viewed as pathetic. I sincerely wish this wasn't so, but it is.

[@binarioochentaycinco4791]

You are right. That level of entitled behavior from them like "at the first strike you are out" the dating dynamics more shitty than already is. I wish they understand men are humans, that will help to make women to make themselves a little bit more approachable.

[@7860092]

True

[@mikeg3439]

It's basic biology. Girls are genetically a female, designed to carry, deliver and raise a child. Men are genetically male, designed to fight, defend, extert force, protect. A nervous man, it's in the female DNA to be concerned that this is not an effective male.

[@7860092]

@@mikeg3439 omg thats why i get no girls :( how to up ur confidence then?

[@mikeg3439]

@@7860092 Fake it until you make it. This works. It just takes a lot of work, some learn it sooner than others.

[@Noob-ee2cy]

I think it’s more about how to express yourself authentically rather than focusing on trying to impress

[@antonboludo8886]

That is correct.

[@trevorfrayne6418]

I like your summary of what Courtney said.

[@christianserna9528]

No way, you where rejected. That foo was whack!!! Lol

[@adaptivegamer9905]

Exactly. I act like myself everytime and if she's not into it, idc🤷🏽 never conform for someone to 'like you".

[@slickcatricky7694]

whats your take on the idea that when you validate push pull even if you get the girl she will never be submissive to you and you will never be her"Alpha Male"?

[@luketimewalker]

Also on rejection. Your inbox is full of WOWs, every day. Heads turning in the street as well, daily. Your "I've been there too!" is equivalent to saying "I've skipped dinner once I know the feeling", to someone starving, increasingly malnourished, and not knowing whether he'll ever food find again. Yet having to act casual in front of a feast? You've not "totally been there" - you've *partially* been there. Some of the anxiety we share, you indeed have experienced. The rest of it, you will never - unless you get very old and try to chase younger men to no avail. ...and that, is a comfort zone you in your vision of things, that you are blissfully unaware of. Otherwise, great vid as usual. Yeah, small talk helps towards bigger talk.

[@littleratchett1527]

True but a lot of the pretty ones have a hard time too more than we think, cuz let’s say someone that isn’t used to it starts getting all these Wows and attention, they’ll realize it still doesn’t change their own insecurity..because it was never about what others thought…it was about what you thought of yourself …this sounds crazy but you can be pretty and easily attract noone if you are still holding yourself down or not letting yourself have that freedom, looks can only go but so far

[@chinmaybhabadYT]

"We suffer in our imagination more than in real life"

[@antonboludo8886]

Exactly.

[@trevorfrayne6418]

So true.

[@cbrown6848]

Get married and you won't have to just imagine suffering 😅🤣😅🤣

[@antonboludo8886]

@@cbrown6848 A man once asked a woman to marry him. She said "No". And he lived happily ever after... 😊

[@simoneracioppa5733]

I don't think so. We suffer in both ways equal.

[@federalnutify]

The ending makes a lot of sense, talk to everyone to practice being in social environments 👏

[@S8I0]

At work is perfect practice for purely social interaction

[@brendenmoldy]

yup, most can't even have a natural convo with random dudes, so of course chatting with hot babes is a challenge!

[@vanner66]

ITS REVEN. Gg

[@federalnutify]

@@vanner66 always love too see a fellow Star Wars fan 👏🔥

[@EtherTheReal]

Lmao love the sarcasm😂🤣

[@jasonnguyen685]

Actually asked out a girl yesterday because we could have a decent conversation. Was rejected which stung but at least I won't have the regret of 'what if'.

[@CroneRaven1810]

Great job mate! This might not mean much but I'm proud of you. You will find your girl :)

[@matsuwd-emethdaath4002]

Keep it going sure...just makes It easier to approach next time...each rejection is a door closer to acceptance😋

[@jeffjohnson5544]

Great that you asked! Keep going...

[@beautifulspirit7420]

Go for it Ryan. So few guys approach women. I know some gorgeous women who never get approached even though they are very friendly. I know it must be intimidating but "Faint heart never won fair maiden".

[@oceanhedonist265]

@@beautifulspirit7420 Yeah, and I know some gorgeous women who feel insulted that the average to above average guy would think he stood any chance of going out with them due their princess entitlement mentality.

[@yutongjoshzhao4766]

“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom” I’ve been doing some reading in this topic and it is actually much more crucial to living a happy life than many have realized. As human, we have anxiety because we see possibilities of situations and are conscious of our own potentials. But unfortunately we are wired to that ‘fight or flight’ mechanism that makes us see social situations that pose no actual danger as dangerous. So anxiety is actually more than a symptom of something but a part of human experience. Those who can harness it will tap into a source of power that can make you almost unstoppable. One just need to trust one’s emotional resilience and realize that, no matter it’s up or down, as long as you love yourself, you are going to be alright.

[@joshmccauley5074]

Powerful words of wisdom my brother! 💯

[@ashvideoer]

Wow, that's an amazing perspective man 👌👌

[@johnd.2803]

A lot of our anxieties are from previous things that have happened, hoping they do not repeat themselves

[@herculeeza]

I don't have any tattoos, but if I did I'd tattoo that last sentence on my chest

[@onyekaabasiri5100]

I think not overthinking is huge. I’ve noticed when I don’t overthink the interaction and just be in the present moment it works out a lot better. I tend to be way more relaxed and it seems the girl is relaxed as well. Great video!

[@aidan7646]

I feel the underlying reason for this is that a lot of men are making women the focus way too much and this subconsciously makes them pedestalize them. Attraction is a natural process so making it a focus gives more resistance. When you have something that you care about more it feels more natural and becomes way easier

[@cbrown6848]

@Simon Edwards nah... for every woman like courtney there are simps galore to cater to her 😅🤣😅

[@Nah-ah]

Correct!

[@Nah-ah]

@@cbrown6848 whether you know it or like it or not, you are ‘’simping’’ to Courtney’s channel, giving her channel a further reach in audience adding more to her channel in popularity 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼😂

[@AllThings_Gaming-c1m]

This Aidan

[@truealpha7258]

I actually talked to this girl in my apartment, and she is from wales. When I approached in the lift, she actually seemed very friendly and talkative. Honestly, i felt like it was clicking for the first time which I am really proud of!

[@beautifulspirit7420]

Welsh people are generally very friendly. Keep chatting when you see her, at the least its good practice.

[@Edwin6264.]

True Alpha

[@ashla8012]

Haha that’s because she is from Wales, here girls are not only not friendly also their faces are always angry for no reason 😂

[@garmisra7841]

@@ashla8012 Note the attitude of the world's most famous Welsman-by-adoption, Lemmy: "You Know I'm born to Lose and gambling's for fools...but that's the way I like it baby - I don't want to live forever!" Shoot your shot!

[@MrTchupam]

So did it click?

[@PlutoniumSlums]

I’ve always been scared because in my past a girl made fun of me and ever since then i couldn’t go up to one. It sucks, It was just a little thing that happened in my childhood and now i feel like they will always have some shit to say about me. But i shouldn’t let that negativity affect me anymore because it’s destroying me in the inside. It wasn’t just her that made me feel insecure about myself, I’ve been in many other situations where i was put down a long time ago.

[@JohnDoe-pf6qp]

This is one of the upsides to being ugly. Guys are nervous around women because they hope there might be interest. When you know there is none it makes it very easy.

[@JoseyWales1865]

Confidence goes farther than looks do

[@ericv5435]

@@JoseyWales1865 but women notice looks way before anything else.

[@ricardogalindo8794]

@@JoseyWales1865 confidence goes farther. Yes! But! The initial attraction is very important, which is based on "looks" first. This is what people, like yourself, who believe in "confidence goes a long way" phrase seem not to comprehend? That the initial attraction matters 30%, the rest is all of the non-surface traits. "Looks" is what differentiates if a woman sees you as a date potential or just a friend, confidence and character traits have no connection in their decisions ( date potential vs friendzoned). A friendzoned guy, is usually kept around due to their positive qualities as a person, but aren't "date worthy" due to the superficial, not her "type." That's cold hard reality.

[@jeffjohnson5544]

@@ericv5435 Looks are overrated. Think about all the average looking guys you see with a cute woman.

[@ericv5435]

@@jeffjohnson5544 it's because the guys are rich

[@KirksDrumRoom]

Saying hello to people REALLY helped me out of my comfort zone with women! Great point!

[@thebook2335]

Something that helped me with being more comfortable is just knowing that things will work out and everything is not the end all be all. situations that you know will work out will cause less anxiety

[@Chopperboy561]

The biggest fear any person can have is their imagination. The idea of making up any situation, putting words into your brain, making things appear bigger/smaller than they actually are. Your imagination can destroy you and this goes for everything.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Exactly!

[@SteinerSE]

You and your mind is always your own worst critic and enemy. You need to overcome your insecurities and fears and be on top of them, but it's all too easy to be consumed by them instead.

[@rjhuncho1673]

Might just be my opinion, but I feel like an over active imagination to the point of personal detriment in men, comes from a lack of understanding of female nature and the repression of masculinity by society. Most men, especially if you're not tall enough, broke, ugly... will feel as if they do not have a voice. Focus on ur selves and not female acknowledgement. Build and they will come bruddas 💯

[@jamesinman7364]

Big facts Chopperboy561

[@darioschaeffer5513]

And the greatest nation EVER: Imagination

[@dusanslavnic4727]

As someone who doesn't enjoy social events nearly as much as most people my age seem to, approaching a woman is generally near the bottom of my list of fun things when compared to all the other things I could be doing unless it is woman I already know and I have a specific topic to talk about

[@vazquezosmy]

Tism boyyss

[@chrialivest]

I know the scarcity mindset was what held me back for a long time. Plus, I lacked confidence. I still get a little nervous, but now I approach a woman as possibly making a friend rather than looking for a girlfriend. Or, I’m hoping to have a good conversation with a woman and then I’ll see where it goes. But, the change in my mental approach has changed everything for me. I’m less nervous and the fear of rejection is much, much less. Great video and I couldn’t agree more with the points that were brought up. Keep up the good work!

[@ModernDatingMastery]

*Nervousness only shows insecurity, but when you own your confidence and just be yourself, it completely changes the dynamic. Women appreciate a man who’s relaxed and comfortable in his own skin.*

[@rino7789]

And on the topic of rejection, I have heard numerous girls tell me that girls aren't supposed to be rejected, only guys.

[@kittykitty643]

I just started doing what it is you are referring too, you are absolutely correct! I just got out of a 13 year divorce battle and then Covid hit. I started speaking to everyone and have become more comfortable speaking to ladies.

[@adambusenlehner3689]

I agree with the comment about "not needing". That's why I'm never nervous about meeting women. If she doesn't like me--fine. I'll just go back to being alone for a while. I'm happy either way.

[@SanVic]

After numerous misses in several videos, Courtney seems back on track, knocking it out of the park. It's so true that we don't act like ourselves and then not get liked by a girl who really doesn't know the real person we are.

[@Bjorn_R]

There are stages to social interaction. When I first started, I had trouble even looking strangers in the eye, when I passed by them on the street. I figured "How can I hope to talk to a person i like and look them in the eye, if I cant even look a stranger I have no relation to, in the eye?" Sounds silly, but It helped my confidence a lot.

[@beautifulspirit7420]

My daughter who is 18 said she has been doing this. She is feeling very shy since COVID and the lack of socializing. So she said she is really making an effort to be friendly and make eye contact. Practice makes perfect!

[@mannyt409]

I struggle with eye contact as well. But, I'm currently working on it.

[@SR-hf3hx]

A recent encounter brought me here...I'm in my mid 30s never been nervous ever ...I had my teenage blips I was infatuated with my first love and maybe 1 other woman who is still my friend to this day...but this past week I had met a young lady and I have a feeling I've never had before...so bad I couldn't even sleep for a couple nights....my heart is racing even while we text ...this is new territory for me...I've been blessed to have had luck with women over the years and I'm usually never intimidated....and I've been knocked upside my head after meeting this girl

[@icm65]

Sometimes a woman’s personality is her best form of birth control.

[@espenfn3195]

Damn bro

[@blakemogus6145]

Your put it in the back door 🚪

[@darioschaeffer5513]

And sometimes a guys personality is a great form of Darwinism

[@darioschaeffer5513]

@@blakemogus6145 gangman style 😎

[@antoinecharlesdegaulle580]

😂😂😂Good one

[@garydj8528]

After watching some over your videos. Im realizing i really do need to focus on my own confidence in myself and stop putting myself down when things don't go the way i want. Thank you

[@jasoncampbell7337]

Courtney, thank you for all the insight. I just got over a 30 year relationship and I'm very nervous about going out and dating. I've never been confident around women, but this helps take some of the edge off of my new journey.

[@JohnnyinCLE]

The first point is certainly good advice, and very good insight, regarding "butterflies". In my case, it's generally because I've thought over if I really want to get to know someone, and it's not only just dating, but wanting someone in my life, in general. As far as being "nervous", in your homework assignment? I've done that recently. Not towards dating, but just meeting a person that I had to figure out what to talk about (she was a very hard read for me ~ which is unusual, since I am partially paid to read people in general). My first time introducing myself to her was a bombed experience. I took a month, and reset, and re-introduced myself to her, as "core" as possible. And you know? I'm thankful for the "mulligan". She's pretty bright, and I've learned a lot from her, in the short time I'm getting to know her. Folks, it's not limited to just dating. It's good to get out of your comfort zone. 🙂

[@steveh88]

"Nervous" doesn't ever begin to do it justice. I used to be an absolute mess. 1) A new girl at work once asked why I didn't say much. I intended to tell her that I'm shy and quiet. Nope. Mr. Smooth here said "Well, I'm quy and shiet". 2) Once night after our company softball game, we all went out for drinks and dinner. The girl I has a crush on was sitting in a booth behind me. She tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I knew what the girl was saying in the song that was playing. It was in French so I told her I had no idea. A minute later... tap tap on the shoulder again. I turned to face her and she asked me again. I joked that I had not learned French since the last time she asked. She said "The girl is singing to a guy and she is saying 'will you go home w/ me tonight?'". Then just stared at me. Right in the eyes. In my mind I was like "if I was watching this from another person's perspective I'd think she was hitting on him", but she was incredibly cute so my mind also told me there's no way that's what this was. So, I said, and I quote "Oh...", then turned back around. So I literally turned my back on her. 3) I was leaving Best Buy one day and another one of my crushes walked in. She came over and gave me a hello hug. I asked what she was up to. She told me she was there to buy a computer, even though she didn't know much about them. At the time I worked for a software company, as an inside sales rep, that sold computers, network equipment, and medical software to doctors offices. I absolutely could have helped. Did I offer? Of course not. I was awkward around her, and, honest to God, before I knew what was happening, and without doing it on purpose, I just kind of started to turn to leave. Just like that. Mid conversation. That's not even the worst of it. I was at work the next day and told someone "Hey, guess who I saw at Best Buy yesterday". It was then, and only then, a full day later, than it occurred to me I could have offered to help. There are quite a few other stories, but I think that pretty much puts the picture in the frame.

[@fischersfritz468]

It seems despite being shy you are quite liked by the women.

[@oceanhedonist265]

Don't sweat it man. Women love to put you on the spot, just like taking selfies to give themselves an endorphin rush.

[@steveh88]

@@fischersfritz468 I guess. Back when I cared about these things, I had a decent amount of chances. I did an outstanding job of squandering them, but at least the opportunities were there

[@fischersfritz468]

@@steveh88 outch. Despite being tall, slender and well educated (master degree) something like this never happened to me. I think it's better like this.

[@darthvader7010]

I kinda used to be the same brotha, what helped me out a lot is kind of just trick yourself and just be their friend in the beginning that way it’s not so awkward and overthinking what to say , afterwards when everything is all Gucci the first encounter then you can decide if you want to blast her cheeks in.

[@good_to_be_gold8]

Great conversations are never met with a shy person. At first people can be hesitant but once you get pursuing and initiating things will flow. It takes two to make it happen

[@fatipj86]

At the end of the day just build great confidence with yourself first in things that matter to you and your confidence will come naturally but first you gotta love being by yourself and work on those weaknesses you have. Great vid Courtney 💯

[@festepuck3969]

As for doing something out my comfort zone: I was able talk to a gorgeous girl at the gym today. Thanks to your story about that time when you were on the treadmill + your tips on how to tell interest, the whole experience was so much fun because I also did not focus on any outcome.

[@kenrickbautista6141]

I'm glad this video was made. From my personal experience, I get real nervous about asking someone because I fear of being viewed as a creep or a bad guy. So I know what it's like.

[@Imorajna]

Ive been making a lot of really bad comments on this channel regarding my own self harm due to having zero women in my life. That stops now. I know i can get a woman to like me. Im great. I just need to make more money, and get my own place. Then learn to flirt and ill be golden Great content and a great channel

[@donquixote2072]

Hey man. I know this was a few months ago and I hope your doing better since then but just don't get your hopes up too high. A lot of guys are going through hell right now, just feeling like no one cares about them. A big problem right now is finding the *right* woman, and there's not too many of them out there. You gotta' focus on you first and find other guys that you share a passion with. Be kind to yourself, take care brother.

[@supratrd900]

I think for guys the nervousness comes from the current #metoomovement. So some guys are afraid to go for what they want. 2nd rejection just sucks overall so guys are afraid and get nervous in hopes of not messing things up between them. 3rd his friends will make fun of him or worst he has to see this woman on a consistent basis (assuming they work together).

[@ec9693]

I had a poblem like that. My brothers. They are humans like you and me. not sth out of this world. Just talk to them like one of your buddies. no need for beeing nervous. yall got this!

[@thegray5730]

If you pretend to be rich, educated, etc. she'll see right through it. If you say, "I will become rich, educated, etc." there's points to be gained from the confidence/drive.

[@funkfarmer7125]

Or I could just be rich and educated, and not care what they see or think.

[@hanarielgodlike9283]

I can confirm n2 works by personal experience. Yes going with the mindset of: "let me know this girl better and see if i like her" works wonders for me, not only take you off from that state of trying to impress her, but also help you talk about things that actually matters, making the conversation flows natural and engaging.

[@jadonsjourney]

say hi to everyone i saw is exactly how i started to get over my social anxiety!

[@seckoya]

That's a good start. And how are is your day going along so far?

[@brendangeary4751]

your my wing lady , I'm learning so much from you. thanks so much ❤

[@brenthewitt758]

That's absolutely so head on when you said there alot at stake mentality and I really think that's can really do a mind trip on your action in a date or anything of importance.

[@Shreadington]

I've been in sales over 20yrs. Sales is about relationships. Anyone I meet woman/man I use the FORM approach. People love to talk about themselves. This works every time, any situation, and it's very natural. Family- where are you from? Are your parents still there? Etc... Organization- what do you do for work? How long have you been there? What'd you do before this? Etc... Recreation- What do you do for fun? What do you do when you're not working? Hobbies? Etc... Motivation- How'd you get into that? What motivated you to start that? Etc...

[@joezephyr]

I am a man. At business events, some men go through your checklist because they want me as a business contact. I feel that I am being grilled and I clam up. I can olny imagine that women would do the same.

[@MohiSyed]

Courtney fills you with confidence at the end of the weekend after all the failed dates.

[@i_am_kofit]

Just got home from a failed date actually... This video is a simple solace for me 😔

[@adamhenry1456]

for real 😑

[@quattron-1126]

You are so articulate. Very smart. Thank you for helping men. You do understand what we go through. It’s difficult to talk to a woman who is very attractive.

[@petaakolarov135]

Great video Courtney! Ive been in a serious relationship for awhile now, but I watch your videos to support your channel and learn something new here and there!! Guys, just by eliminating the scarcity mindset and keeping your options open, will make a tremendous difference in your dating life and overall confidence

[@jb-eq6no]

honestly i watch these videos as background noise now, most everything courtney is saying i already know but her voice is soothing

[@SoulTouchMusic93]

"but i've been rejected by a person who've i really liked before" one, as in singular and stopped asking ever since unless she had only success ever since. she wouldn't even ask anybody after that rejection! XD god damn! now imagine that feeling again and again and again.

[@adrianchatman5734]

Underrated comment!

[@oceanhedonist265]

Facts!

[@vitamindealer7915]

This is one the issues i find with women giving dating advice. Their success happens way, way faster, and then they say ‘oh see its not so hard’ and their positivity, ego, is intact

[@tomr5121]

As a younger person I also felt anxious a lot of the time. Once I truly understood that this was an internal struggle and that, in general, people rarely care all that much, life became much simpler. 😁 Glad you are coping better Ms Ryan!

[@stevew4079]

Nervous? Nothing worse than stage fright at the wrong moment 😂 Maybe it’s me getting a little older (and hopefully wiser!) but I just meet women as people. I’m pretty casual/ easy going anyway...and notice that I have women comfortably talking to me. My missing piece is...where to from there. I think I might be slipping more into the, ‘hey, he’s a nice guy’ friend thing.

[@DiggitySchwag]

Once you’re in the door, that’s when you just say what you want how you want it. If they’re not interested, you’re not either. Walk away and move on to the next.

[@travis6694]

@@DiggitySchwag sounds about right

[@MrKrusten]

Im like this too but as you pointed out already, theres the risk of getting into the friendzone. When you behave like a friend, then theres a chance she'll see you as a friend. Personally i find it quite easy to show intention and interest once i've built some connection though. I just have to remind myself to actually start doing it at some point

[@BlueGamerCast]

@@DiggitySchwag bruh this is so cold but the absolute truth

[@oceanhedonist265]

@@BlueGamerCast My rule is if they try and friend zone me I'm going to return the favor and treat them as a casual acquaintance. The only women I really keep as friends are family members, friend's wives and girlfriends, and women that I'm not physically attracted to.

[@devinspiegelhalter7632]

Video is nearly 2 years old, but it just now popped up. I think this is an incredible video. One of Courtney’s best!

[@niceguyinmypreviouslifebad9264]

When Men get nervous or scared they should think: *"What would Batman do?."*

[@niceguyinmypreviouslifebad9264]

Batman ain't scared of anything or anyone and he does what he does without allowing fear to affect him.

[@sebswede9005]

More like: *what would Bruce Wayne do?*

[@timothyrobinson2387]

@@sebswede9005 Only problem with that is Bruce Wayne is a "Chad". Most of us, not so much. Lol!!

[@sebswede9005]

@@timothyrobinson2387 just because you're not a Chad, doesn't mean you can have a Chad mentality.

[@niceguyinmypreviouslifebad9264]

@@sebswede9005 who the f*ck asked you to correct me?.

[@nickgrayy]

I never thought about all of this content you put out. I go to the gym a lot very consistently and know tons of people and a lot of people know me when I don’t know them. Even in front of the hottest girls in the gym I didn’t care that I would fail on a lift because it’s not about them. Most of my jobs have been in the public eye and sales so even talking to women that are wealthy doesn’t even bother me. Not saying my confidence is through the roof but more so I think my tolerance is very high. I work on myself everyday. I love to hear different perspectives so that I can evolve myself and improve.

[@optimismdaily1023]

I think it's just people in general, not just women. I feel like it's also how we think they carry themselves. That's just how it is.

[@kevinVersus]

Wise words. May I add something for those who can’t physically talk to women, wether it’s stuttering or unable to speak at all from extreme nervousness.. one can overcome this problem with the use of psilocybin mushrooms. Could be a number of lower/medium dose sessions or perhaps one large dose of youre brave enough. I don’t have a problem with stuttering in front of women but I was shy to engage and further the convo. After a handful of lower dose sessions I have absolutely zero fear, shyness or worry when it comes to talking to women now. And I actually feel more calm and happy all around. It’s safe too don’t be afraid

[@unknownplayer7190]

Really ? Is it like a treatment under physchiatrist ?

[@JohnM...]

You're nervous because your attitude in any social situation should be: I wonder if I will like her/these people. Develop self assuredness by doing things alone that fill you with joy and contentment.

[@trappart9209]

Your videos totally make sense and I hear from you many things, which I already learned from my own experience and analysis. In order to be confident a person has to achieve some level of maturity. And there is no need to act or force yourself to do things in which you actually don't believe. Growing as a person requires being in uncomfortable situations and making mistakes while doing what you find right

[@pablobarrera7613]

There's something you're missing: Sometimes, it's not even about the girl herself. Some of us get nervous about the situation. It's the situation what puts us under pressure. I can be totally conscious of the reasons for being easy-going, accepting if she doesn't like me and I can act totally confident, but there's still a fireball in my stomach anyway, no matter what I do.

[@peterssss5396]

Thank you, Courtney. Always sound realistic advice. And you have a genuine sincere approach to your audience. Well done in getting over your anxiety issue in doing your KZbin channel.😊

[@LeeEverett1]

Love your content Courtney, but I disagree with your point on girls being just as nervous as we are. Girls are approached every single day and interact with multiple men on a daily basis whether it's from approaches or social media. They are used to talking to the opposite gender and are much more comfortable due to the experience of interactions. Men on the other hand have to go out of their way to talk to girls to get the experience, which is where alot of guys struggle with getting started. That's why some are super nervous because they just aren't used to actually talking to girls other than maybe co workers or family.

[@joshforde698]

Real talk about the scarcity mindset. For the last few months I was interested in a woman for the first time in years, didn't work out, wasn't heartbroken or anything, but since realising that nothing would come of it my thoughts have turned to "how will I ever actually meet a woman I'm into again?"

[@lightningmonky7674]

My problem is just my horrible experiences in middle and high school when it comes to women, kids can be cruel at that age, especially to late bloomers. Now that I've matured and grown into myself, plenty of nice and beautiful women have been into me, but my past doesn't let me see past it for some reason

[@Carefreeblues]

The second point for me is the best and one that I learned the hard way. Once you put someone in a pedestal for whatever reason (looks, money, accomplishments) you're basically going into it with blurry vision and end up doing all the other points mentioned, more importantly you end up not noticing things that you may not like about the girl and/or is fundamentally opposite to your own values. The most important thing is, do you actually like her? like her for more than just the superficial things, if that box is ticked the rest just fall in to place.

[@andrewhaynes2448]

I've just signed up to a watchmaking class! Comfort zone? What comfort zone? 😉

[@t.l.7733]

I'd like to add a 6th reason. Off the heels of don't be afraid of rejection. #6- Don't be afraid of humiliation. This is something that I often experience by both men & women (mainly women) & it's made me a better man.

[@FreakinfreakInfreaki]

Anytime I'm around women my brain just goes "what even is English?". And yeah even if I don't like her. I'm just terrified of people.

[@PK-px9hu]

Try meeting hookers regularly, then you don't care about your everday's women.

[@FreakinfreakInfreaki]

@@PK-px9hu that's a big NO

[@PK-px9hu]

@@FreakinfreakInfreaki lol, don't believe the snowflakes and feminists, there are many hookers who enjoy their job- at least more than hard, manual underpaid labor...

[@dancrotts724]

Mindful breathing has been a huge factor for me in social and professional settings. Noise breathing and allowing diaphragm to exhale a little longer than you think you can before taking next inhale (through nose 😊). A natural way to calm the nervous system in the moment.

[@devnotes00]

"The only fear we have to fear is fear itself" -Franklin D Roosevelt Edit: dang autocorrect

[@timothywenk6567]

Some guys don't approach women because they KNOW in advance they're gonna get rejected (so why even try?) --- I'm one of those guys. :-(

[@ricardogalindo8794]

I am too...but I still try. See, I just go there without expectations. I go there thinking that I'll get rejected anyways, but I hide it by just talking and making jokes.

[@jeffaber8332]

Juice not worth the squeeze.

[@RezeHB]

C’om bro, the more rejected you get, the more experienced you’ll be. One day you won’t have any problem to give a damn when talking to them and magically they will start showing interest in you.

[@oceanhedonist265]

Don't worry about it dude. At least you want be spending a lot of time and money and energy on someone that is never going to be satisfied. Always put yourself first!

[@fixer1140]

I'm not worried about rejection, I'm worried about HR calling me because I simply said "hello, welcome aboard"

[@geo_neo9]

Women have so much power. When it comes to someone I like being a Taurus ♉ I melt from beauty. So I never bother with them. I'm alone isolated and I'm a great person with vast power and knowledge. A knowing. I trust in spirit will sort things whats meant but when like.

[@trumpetplyr21]

Will the assignment be graded on a curve? All kidding aside, I needed this reminder today. Thanks Courtney 😊

[@user-hp4ce2bo7v]

My translation and advice: 1. (Girls get nervous too) Relax bro. Switch your gaze from her eye left to right eye, forehead to nose, then lips - 0:36 2. (Do you even like her?) Is she what you want? Don't waste time on someone who you see nothing with but keep your options open meaning chat to different girls alongside her even though you see a future with her and her only - 0:49 3. (Do not overthink it) Relax bro. Calm down, it's just a girl - 3:06 4. (Stop trying to impress her) Stop getting giddy around her. Stop agreeing with everything she says, stop saying please everytime you say or ask for something, don't smile 24/7, and stay calm and collected - 5:11 5. (Rejection is normal) Can't have 'em all bruv. If she doesn't want you she doesn't want you bro, but if you think you can get her, go for it just don't push it if you see she truly isn't interested. Her loss boys, improve yourself and move on. This is why I urge you to keep options open - 7:03

[@LatimusChadimus]

When you've been cutting your own hair for over 15 years, and have taken care of your own stuff for years as well as helping out others, it is really easy to be confident in your own self-worth as well as managing your own outward image with your ensembles, body and hair

[@thomasgomez2100]

I feel the same way about clipping my finger nails

[@johngonzalez4298]

Confidence within yourself is key

[@ericv5435]

I don't give a shit about rejection. I know most attractive women will reject me anyway so with anything involving women, I go into it with very low expectations. I know she won't like me so I just don't care.

[@guitarista666]

Eric, that's a self-fulfilling prophesy, isn't it? Do you mean all attractive women reject you or just some?

[@uoabigaillevey]

I'd say a better mindset is not to expect or anticipate rejection.. but to not worry about if there is rejection or not. Do not invest any emotional attachment to the situation at all. Literally do not worry about it one way or the other. If it goes your way then great.. and if not then shelf it for a later time.. perhaps years down the road if needed and maybe revisit it if you are still a free agent. Her situation may have changed since your last effort and things may be different between you by then. Allow yourself to look elsewhere and remember that it's a big world full of more people than you could possibly hope to meet in your lifetime. I have to remind myself of this every day.. just wish I had seen the world that way when I was in my early 20's.

[@MrMalicious5]

@@uoabigaillevey Saying “just don’t worry about rejection” is like telling a depressed person “just be happy”.

[@UserName-ts3sp]

why would she like a guy who doesnt even like himself

[@ericv5435]

@@UserName-ts3sp exactly. That's why I'm not even bothering

[@Matthew0171]

4 months late to the party, but I totally agree with this. My biggest issue is my comfort zone and lack of confidence. Definitely need to put myself out there more and get into the practice of talking to people, specifically women, more. Thanks for always trying to be as fair as possible, Courtney 👌👏

[@cbrown6848]

Remember she's used to this... by the time she even turns 18 she has been approached 100s of times. She won't fall to her knees nervous over another random guy approaching her 😅🤣😅🤣

[@garouuchiha4041]

Male and female are different, females have more experience due to that in both ways, girls already been tested in both worlds of good and evil and the unknown, us men too but mainly women, we all know that women are used and abused for money, advertisement, etc., Such as sex trafficking, modeling clothes, make up, etc.

[@cbrown6848]

@@garouuchiha4041 yeah those models sure are abused as they make killer money lol

[@cbrown6848]

@@garouuchiha4041 women would kill to be make up or runway models or in commercials... are you seriously so dim and deluded of a simp you compare that to human trafficking? Have you ever actually dated a female?

[@garouuchiha4041]

@@cbrown6848 I think you misunderstood me. I was proving a point that women are tested more than us men because they are a female and they have experience of many situations due to that that are being preyed upon.

[@cbrown6848]

@@garouuchiha4041 men don't test women. You ever tested a female? Only women run tests

[@edm9704]

Thank you for talking as if you are sincerely trying to be a helpful friend to us.

[@kc270352]

when you learn how to talk to people in general, it will become second nature

[@edcorne6923]

Something Simon Senik said that stuck with me till this day is this. When we look at cancer we automatically assume its the malignant (Bad) instead of Benign. Same with the word failure as a universal term for all situations in which the outcome didn't meet our expectations. So instead use the word Fall not Fail when using, for example, approach a woman and don't get her number if that was your intention. When you fall just get back up learning from the experience. Failure is too heavy, leaving it hard to learn from, so we stop because we are a "Failure". A fall is an action/ behavior that can be corrected while being a failure is an identity issue that's harder to change. Hope this helps!

[@b-0220]

1. Girls get nervous too. Difference is, nervousness in girls is not a turn off for guys. If the girl can get through whatever it is with minimal effort, literally no problem. Hell, some guys might think it's cute or endearing. Guys being nervous, he's a beta male, he's weak, small dick energy, and all the excuses in the world to not bother with you. 2-5. Basically, stop caring, be aloof, no one is special, women don't want to deal with commitment from guys that aren't perfect. If you are anything less than the perfect man, don't bother thinking and behaving like the relationship will last, because it won't, and they won't even try, so you shouldn't either.

[@praetorian1877]

Great point?!

[@cbrown6848]

Yep girls buckle at the knees any time a guy approaches them... not sure what simps believe this 😅🤣😅🤣

[@Lightflames85]

while your right about the double standard i think your missing a point. Back in the day women depending on a man alot more for survivel then it is in the moden day and if the man was weak then both her and her kids would die if she picked that guy. Our brains has not evolved for 2000 years so even if we live in safety and got all the food we will ever need the brain is hardwired to survive it dont make logical decisions depending on our times now. That women are not awhere of this is the real problem.

[@bathory-hatchepsoutsurmalu9576]

2-5 : What the fuck is your problem? And how is it possible to twist a positive message so much that it becomes a toxic thing?

[@nicktube3904]

@@bathory-hatchepsoutsurmalu9576 I think he means stop caring to much. Don’t try to be mister perfect. Be your authentic self and ifs she does not like that, she’s not the one for you..

[@sabbirhoque6941]

Dear Courtney, thanks for boosting my confidence. I really wanted to talk to this lady for a while (like 3 years) and finally had the courage to say hi because of your this video. You wanted to get me out of my comfort zone and I had to try. Before I approached her, I was nervous as hell. She was friendly and understanding about my shyness for which I was really thankful. A huge thank you to you Courtney, I would give you a hug if you were in Perth, Western Australia :)...

[@samsl3497]

We need go after girls that are similar to us.If you are Tech guy,go after the hottest tech girl.Don’t approach the IG model that will think you are a geek.

[@rasheemthebestfirstone3274]

😂 it’s funny how you said that

[@ricardogalindo8794]

It's 50/50 even there. Personal example, I approached a woman from my ig, we would contact each other on and off, I began to like her successes and accomplishments (an educator, graduated from the same grad school as me, intelligent, attractive, into fitness, and strong (army veteran)) I never was in the military, but I'm an educator too, pretty smart (graduate from the same school as her) I'm into fitness and progressing in my physicality and body, I'm also practicing in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Well...I asked her out, and got rejected. LoL! I laugh at it now, because it was bad timing and we never formally met in person. I say "formally," because my jiu-jitsu place is near her yoga place, coincidence (I began to practice jiu-jitsu 1 month after she rejected me-she knew of my decision to do so, and even "like" pictures I took of what became my future jiu-jitsu spot), and I ran into her...and she didn't recognized me at all. She just saw me as a regular stranger, no emotions or reaction. It showed me how fake and unrealistic Instagram and online social sites are too. In addition, looking at it now....she was an attention seeker. Some of her mix signals and attention seeking actions were to seek attention from me, she rejected multiple times to meet in person too. She took me off her ig too, once I stopped watching her ig stories and liking any of her pictures (which I rarely even did so). To get back to your point, even if you go for women that is like oneself, the rejection rate is still the same. The rejection odds doesn't change.

[@cryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy5]

Hey Courtney, thanks to your videos I gained courage and overcame my fear today. I walked over to two girls in town and talked to them for a while. You were right. They were also stressed out like me. I will continue to try to overcome my anxiety and fear. Thanks again ❤😊

[@sumairshirazi]

In todays generation looking for women is pointless due to feminism , and simping

[@stepkickking9868]

I bet your favourite movie is Joker...

[@MeddlerGhost]

@@stepkickking9868 The acting in that was great though.

[@PlutoniumSlums]

Ok dude

[@sumairshirazi]

@@stepkickking9868 not really.

[@MeddlerGhost]

@@PlutoniumSlums Thanks for adding nothing!

[@magnusdelange1189]

I loved the homework part! It gives such a personal touch to the video!

[@Javi_C]

Confidence! 👍

[@CourtneyRyan]

❤️

[@stedmansykes]

You can know who are, know what you want and know what you bring to the table and still have difficulties putting yourself out there. You could even have an healthy amount of self love but putting yourself out still feel nearly impossible to do. I was like that. It's the fear of being vulnerable, embarrassment and being rejected is what causes low confidence

[@SteinerSE]

"When you stop looking you will find it"

[@CourtneyRyan]

❤️

[@nathanmorgan3647]

I stopped looking 10 years ago. Still haven't found it. :P

[@cbrown6848]

@@nathanmorgan3647 that's a fantasy. It's like saying stop putting resumes in and eventually your perfect career will come along

[@cbrown6848]

@@nathanmorgan3647 not to dishearten you but the idea of romance you want doesn't exist anymore. Feminism and simps and female privilege killed it

[@nathanmorgan3647]

@@cbrown6848 oh, I know all that. I am mocking the idea

[@davesravens47]

I wasn’t sold on you at first, but after watching more of your videos, I realize that you really know what you are talking about. And the bit about being the quiet, anxious one I related to so much. Honestly you are wonderful and thank you for being a kind and compassionate person who’s willing to help us out. I will continue to work on myself and hopefully I can start being the person I can be proud of.

[@JPVNG67]

now i ll get even more nervous :)

[@CourtneyRyan]

Haha noooo!

[@arthurmorgan2906]

@@CourtneyRyan you didn't see that coming haha did ya

[@tombowler6458]

Wow Courtney thank you for being so frank about your anxiety issues I find that so endearing I hope you are overcoming those issues to the best of your abilities

[@johnnythekid4601]

Nothing to be nervous about? Only the fact that she at any time can accuse a man of harassment for simply doing nothing... and causing him problems for no reason just because she didnt like the way he looked...

[@drjohnsonhungwell5115]

AMEN That's why I try to interact as little as possible with them I've had to endure some of their false allegations like stalking and had one accuse me of being some other child's father because I didn't want to date her daughter . I've had enough of their garbage.

[@Sammyismysidekick]

Yes, always

[@lambo2655]

I’m nervous and anxious just in social settings but trying to talk to women to get to know them is my kryptonite. I’m just too shy around them. I’m in my mid 50’s and just about given up. The dating scene just terrifies me at this stage in my life.

[@oceanhedonist265]

Yeah, I get it. Just remember to imagine what she looks like without makeup. Most women are very plain looking. Also, most women are boring to talk to because they've depended on their looks and haven't worked to develop their personalities. And most women are not very good in bed. Believe me from decades of experience, lol!

[@jkshallinheritearth3883]

@@oceanhedonist265 if women aren't interesting to talk with, then why you dated them from decades 🤔

[@oceanhedonist265]

@@jkshallinheritearth3883 I said MOST women, dude. Not all. 🤠

[@jkshallinheritearth3883]

@@oceanhedonist265 You are one of those guys who eliminate competitors by posting, "Juice ain't worth squeezing"

[@johnwysocki2445]

Our subconscious mind is where all of the insecurities “hide.” Practice your confidence using mantras, self-hypnosis (which is very effective) and affirmations every day and night for 30 days. Takes 5-10 minutes each time but your subconscious absorbs what you tell it and you’ll see incredible results. Plenty of info on YT about the power of your subconscious✨ Thanks for all of these videos Courtney, you truly make a difference in sooo many lives!

[@noticemesenpai5027]

Would love a reaction to Casey Zander

[@CourtneyRyan]

I can do that!

[@ricardogalindo8794]

Everything you said on this video...is what the "chads" and "Tyrones" of the world do all of the time with different women. They have the advantage of trying different things with many women, which adds to their confidence and their own communication and social skills. Confidence in women, is totally different from the confidences you've talked about. I've been wanting to reply to you on the subject of confidence. To get confidence in women requires learning strategies, communication skills, and learning to read expressions and body language. In addition, to gain confidence in women requires to struggle in social settings, taking many rejections, and knowing that when it comes to becoming confident with women, it will be mostly failures and rejections. (Especially! Since most women are picky AF and are very superficial too) this is where very attractive men have a greater advantage, they struggle less and get less rejections: in turn they gain confidence a lot faster and women read it as being "confident." The average man, like myself, has to struggle and get rejected way more than an overly attractive man. I do reach the same level of confidence in women, but it takes many more rejections, ridicules, and pretty much self doubts. This is coming from a man that has confidence in other factors in my life too I'm an educator and a teacher by career ( I have the confidence in my strategies due to my 7 years teaching experience and my training) I'm a graduate of USC: the university of southern California (I'm confident in my intelligence and how far I got in my education) I'm confident in my body and where I'm heading in my physique/fitness (I was obese 4 years ago, dropped 80 pounds and continue to progress on my fitness goals. I have the confidence in my knowledge and can help anyone burn fat) these are confidences I've developed due to my personal successes. When it comes to women, my confidence in the 3 important things I said...these confidences don't transfer to my "confidence in women," due to those skills not being transferable when it comes to success with women. I think, this is what women don't understand...that confidences in one field don't transfer to another field. I'm confident in teaching students, is my career, but the skills I use to teach children don't transfer correctly when it comes to women and the confidence in women attraction. Do you get what I'm saying? When it comes to attracting and socializing with women, it's another group of skills and strategies that men have to master. Some will master it easily, based on theirlooks, others will struggle and give up or succeed, based on their looks too. That's what "confidence" in women truly is. It ain't what you, Courtney, believe that it is.

[@ricardogalindo8794]

Confidence in women is a whole different beast. A "beast" that many men don't go over or succeed in conquering due to....well...got to be honest, the superficial selection based actions of most women. Rejection is part of the "game," but getting multiple rejections by many women is also destructive in the gaining of confidence towards socializing and dating women. See, when an average man sees how easily the very attractive men get women. They just realize "why even try? Why should I put myself through this? When that very attractive guy gets the rules bend for him? I'm here getting ignored by the women I want to attract...and I'm not gaining any "confidence" or mastering anything...why should I keep going? " this is my experience too, but I'm not giving up and I continue on. Because I've realized, most women are hypergamist, most women don't know me, and most women are going to end up either as single mothers or alone with their "best fury friend" by their sides. It's the reality of "dating" and female nature and female choice. Women created this environment and the rules, the rules that men have to follow to gain confidence in women. I'm just strong enough, or probably crazy enough, to want to continue and progress to get what I want. Trust me, many men do give up and rather not deal with female nature choice and female shallowness. But! Here I am. LoL

[@SteinerSE]

I never strive to impress, I always aim at making her laugh (or at least smile). I feel actively trying to impress means bragging, and that's not a nice (and somewhat arrogant) look. If I can make them feel comfortable and trusting around me and consistently can make them laugh and smile I think I am a good bit on my way to impress without trying.