CPF Reviews #6: You Can't Go Home Again-The Dark Side of "The Force Awakens" (remaster)

In, uhhm, "honor" of the end of Disney's Star Wars trilogy, CPF presents this remastered look at its first entry, now in HD.

[@NautilusCage]

Somebody's gotta make a re-edit of the ending Episode 9 with Rey asking "What year is this" while Luke screams in horror for getting dragged back to the place he was longing to get away from. Then the light from the suns get snuffed out. "Directed by David Lynch"

[@Corn_Pone_Flicks]

Okay, that genuinely made me laugh.

[@max-rdj9741]

Lucas asked Lynch to direct episode VI, I believe. I didn't and still don't believe that would have worked, and Lynch turned him down, but literally anything goes in Star Wars nowadays, so fuck it. My fantasy is that Disney puts out totally normal trailers for a Star Wars Episode X with an "unnamed director" and have Lynch do his thing, hopefully creating his biggest mindfuck ever.

[@andylikesstuffchannel]

Epic 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪

[@andylikesstuffchannel]

@@max-rdj9741 if only pop culture movies are spoiled soon as they are news

[@christopherdomingue6459]

Your videos are seriously awesome, and for whatever it's worth, your channel has quickly become one of my favorites. More Corn Pone please!

[@HandofOmega]

Corn Pone, you've quickly become one of my faves! Please keep up the great work! ...Ever consider analyzing comics? If anyone can make sense of the work of Grant Morrison, it's probably you!

[@mattgilbert7347]

Missing scene: "As a guitarist, I never bypass my compressor. It's *always on* Rey, you're out of the band." All I ever wanted from these "new" SW films was a scene where a Maori-voiced Stormtrooper yells "Cook the man some eggs, woman!" Alas... "Once Were Stormtroopers"? Yeah, that could work.

[@Corn_Pone_Flicks]

I don't know...music today sounds over-compressed to me. It leeches too much character out of the guitar.

[@tumppiosrs7319]

Saw I wasn't subbed to you on this user, well that needed an instant change. Great video as usual.

[@good-questions]

Great points, excellently laid out, and love the intro. Your work continues to impress. I am afraid to send it to my friends who don’t agree with me to explain why I didn’t like episode 7 because you put it so perfectly that I’m afraid I’ll only garner you dislikes when they’re ACTUAL likes because you’re right. Kudos anyway. You are a great source of content and vast knowledge. 🖖

[@Corn_Pone_Flicks]

Thing is, both likes and dislikes increase a video's visibility, so it all helps in the end anyway. (I already typed this once and then it vanished for some reason.)

[@good-questions]

Corn Pone Flicks let the copy and paste of the video link commence

[@ShinySephiroth1]

9:43 It is so painful to watch the cast fake laugh. I'm certain at least half of them knew Mark was "subtly" voicing his agitation and they were doing all they could to say, "Yeah, look! It is funny, hardy-har! We are ALL just joking! All in fun, honest!"

[@ShinySephiroth1]

SPOILERS So, I was one of those people who believed since Episode 7 that Rey was a Palpatine. I'm interested to see your thoughts on some of the Rey stuff now that Episode 9 is out. Also you brought up some great points in this review! Thanks for re-uploading it!

[@Corn_Pone_Flicks]

I've yet to see episode 9 (I don't go to theaters anymore, for anything), but I've been thoroughly briefed on it. I can't really fairly discuss it before then, so it'll have to wait until the Blu-ray comes out (also, need footage to work with).

[@CepnayaPila]

@@Corn_Pone_Flicks "I don't go to theaters anymore, for anything" How so??

[@Corn_Pone_Flicks]

In short, audiences. When movie after movie is ruined by loud-talking assholes, people who bring toddlers to the theater, and cell phone addicts who can't put their precious devices away for two whole hours, I had to ask myself why I was paying for that experience. I'd rather just wait for the home release and watch the film in peace.

[@jakedizzle]

@@Corn_Pone_Flicks I know this is a four-year-old comment but I found the best time to go is Tuesday morning. It’s pretty dead, and the people that are there are usually elderly.

[@axisandallies79]

Thanks for this. Hope you have a great holiday!

[@AmusedChild]

Thank the Force I saw this regurgitated bypassed compressor of Yojimbo for free.

[@PPX14]

Just rewatched this, didn't realise there was a remaster, and started rewatching total eclipse of the brain, probably my favourite analyses of the films... Wellllllll... any plans for Ep IX ? :D

[@Corn_Pone_Flicks]

I'm writing it right now.

[@PPX14]

@@Corn_Pone_Flicks Excellent! (Tut KZbin still doesn't notify me about comment replies, just comment-likes for some reason)

[@TVsMrNeil]

My "favorite" meta dialogue in the movie is right at the beginning. "This will wet things right." The fluffing itself as if it's the answer to the prequels. How badly that has aged.

[@Corn_Pone_Flicks]

If indeed it was meant to be taken that way.

[@wingflanagan]

Glad to see this. I think I caught it the first time, but - in light of the release of The Rise of Skywalker - it's more apropos than ever. And MAN! That CGI! Goosebumps. Just...goosebumps... :-)

[@Corn_Pone_Flicks]

What, you mean that fighter bit?

[@wingflanagan]

Yup. Intended or not, it comes across to me as a poke at some of the early, less than stellar CGI work in the prequel trilogy. Delightfully cheesy, and I mean that in the best way.

[@Corn_Pone_Flicks]

It was actually me doing my best effort. I say this to anyone who thinks that CG effects are somehow easy...you have NO IDEA. That shit is hard as hell.

[@wingflanagan]

Corn Pone Flicks Oh. Now I feel bad. :-(. But I absolutely concur. CGI requires a lot of skill to pull off, plus the right tools. I did digital set extensions for a short film I made (because I could not afford to pay for a real location) and it took a year of effort (when I wasn't doing my day job) to make it look passable. So, I feel your pain. I hope I did not offend you. I certaintly didn't mean to!

[@Corn_Pone_Flicks]

Nahh, it's cool. I made that Jedi fighter years ago for some short Star Wars spoof film that ended up not happening, so I just used it here so all that time would've have been a total waste. The program I used is so old it can only render in standard def. I'm currently doing some digital matte work for a film project which is coming out decently, but it's hard to fool eyes which have had actual reality to use as a comparitive for the entire life of the individual.

[@Strideo1]

After watching the new trilogy I've decided that apparently Disney's Star Wars writers didn't think the bad guys are a threat because they've dominated the political structure to become tyrants and mastered a logistical system and tax base to supply an enormous military to oppress the people. No, it's not anything with a remote sense of verisimilitude. You see, bad guys and evil factions in Disney's Star War can just pull a massive fleet of high tech battleships complete with professional crews and soldiers out of their ass at any time.

[@Corn_Pone_Flicks]

I've heard about that. It seems like their approach to the conflict is More! More! More! That'll be exciting! They don't seem to get that it's our level of investment in the conflict, not its overall scale, that generates excitement.

[@Belzediel]

Just as a minor side thingy... The two meters thing, Luke seems to be assuming you're shooting straight at a two meter wide target. Not-Wedge understands that the launch window is two meters wide, and this, in effect impossible. The pilots have to hit the boom-button within a two meter length, whilst they're going at ~800kph, because the torpedoes are programmed to make a sharp ninety degree downwards turn at a specific time. The pilots have to hit the button within .002 seconds, significantly less time than it takes to blink. i like to think the slight side-eye not-Wedge gives Luke is very much 'Why the hell am I sat next to this rube who can't follow a simple diagram?' Not offered as a correction or anything, merely because you seem like you might like that.

[@Corn_Pone_Flicks]

I always figured that if Luke was hunting them in Beggar's Canyon, it would be a similar approach, only without, as Wedge mentioned in the novelization, a bunch of other womp-rats shooting back at him. The film never specifies things like speed or the way the torpedoes work, though, because it's not what Lucas was interested in. Despite the SF trappings, it was always a fantasy story.

[@Belzediel]

@@Corn_Pone_Flicks Just junked a long reply - back part of my brain suggested you're probably not interested. I disagree they don't show it, I agree they don't say much about it, but, that doesn't really matter. Been having great fun mainlining your videos, BTW, you have very nearly got me to try Twin Peaks 2 again. Nearly. 🙂

[@robfalgiano]

In the modern corporatocracy JJ was the perfect competent hack to helm multiple major league franchises and cut copy paste his way to the top. Hopefully the relative box office failure of ep 9 will force the powers that be to give the whole thing a long long rest, as in forever. Same with terminator. There are no more stories to tell in those universes.

[@Corn_Pone_Flicks]

I'd argue (and intend to in an upcoming video) that there is one story left to tell with Terminator, which is the one I've wanted to see since the first film and which they've just never bothered to do.

[@robfalgiano]

Corn Pone Flicks Fair enough, though it seems like shoehorning Arnie in another one is not the way to go. Great vids btw! Your takes on David lynch are always interesting and surprising.

[@Corn_Pone_Flicks]

Agreed, given that the Terminators were supposed to be infiltrators, which doesn't work when they all look alike. I think the only reason to show him in another one would be a short scene wherein John has him reprogrammed to go back in time as his protector. Then the loop is closed, and no further stories need be made.

[@andylikesstuffchannel]

To many years gone bye

[@hsatin20]

First!!!!!!

[@Corn_Pone_Flicks]

You know the video is exactly the same for every subsequent viewer, right?