So are these symptoms? At some point we need to realize we mapped the genome. He clearly has trauma associated with sex. I would say 90 percent of your troubled subjects are victims of sexual abuse. 1 in 4 females before 18 are abused. 10 percent of males.
@sunnycheba3 жыл бұрын
And i bet money his enabling parents know more than they are saying.
@SoftWhiteUnderbelly3 жыл бұрын
@@thematriarchy2075 ; )
@thematriarchy20753 жыл бұрын
@@sunnycheba Read the article.
@sunnycheba3 жыл бұрын
@@thematriarchy2075 i have lived the story. I am not paying for news. I am past the free articles by the 3rd of a month. DUDE talk to your relatives. Tell them this is about healing and forgiveness. Get answers. We have mapped all the DNA.
@pacolevy30683 жыл бұрын
Incredible bravery to come back and do this whole Interview sober. I really admire Patrick’s honesty and wish him all the best for the future!
@cococoyle67603 жыл бұрын
Absolutely
@Lindy.T3 жыл бұрын
Patrick, if you're reading this; I could SEE the kind, warm hearted person you really are, and yes, there are people who love you, and yes you've let them down, and yes you're selfish, but what and where in this life does it leave you? More than halfway through this second interview, I saw you becoming the champion for many. Because many need you to do this. You just have to be stronger and stop going back on the promises to yourself and others. Become this person that CHAMPIONS others. Your rewards will be so much better than that crack pipe! Sending you COURAGE, you've got to find it, keep it, use it and then champion it. Blessings.
@cogitoergosum46953 жыл бұрын
Me too, I wish him all the best. Seems like a nice guy in an unfortunate situation. Loving yourself is sometimes a big challenge for us all, drugs or not.
@lindseysloan87353 жыл бұрын
I agree! I wouldn't leave my room let alone go somewhere. Addiction sucks.
@rebecka24222 жыл бұрын
I take it you're not to much team Patrick..lol..how can I help besides for prayers and "digital" support/love? He is really gentle and a sweetheart ➕️🤍➕️
@alexoverfelt80413 жыл бұрын
This dude is my fucking hero man, I watched his first interview and love how honest he was, I’m also an addict and In an Oxford house (sober living house) with 7 months clean and still struggling with wanting to use again. I can relate to everything this dude says. This is my favorite person out of all the interviews. It’s really helped me to hear someone that has a story so similar to mine. You kick ass Patrick! Thank you for being you.
@cococoyle67603 жыл бұрын
Ditto
@marylougeorge98903 жыл бұрын
Congratulations on how far you've come!👏👏👏
@explicitreverberation98263 жыл бұрын
Keep at it !!! THATS AWESOME
@SetCCC3 жыл бұрын
Congratulations! It is incredibly hard. You deserve a pat on the back to get this far. 🙌
@billydiesel85203 жыл бұрын
That's great man.
@virginiamcateer64743 жыл бұрын
I'm a recovering heroine & pain pill addict. So I know the struggles. I'm glad he's doing okay. I've been 5 years clean with a 4 year old daughter now & proud. 💜 I wish for Patrick and everyone to be free from their addictions.
@dannyh59373 жыл бұрын
All the best. Thanks for giving me the hope I need to get through the day.
@sharong85113 жыл бұрын
Way to go, Kaitlin! I know how hard it is. I hope Patrick can get clean and stay clean. Crack is more of a psychological addiction than heroin and opiates. It’s a tough one but it can be done. Blessings to you and your dear daughter. 💖
@danamaupin83183 жыл бұрын
So happy for you Kaitlin. Stay Strong
@Noonecares32033 жыл бұрын
So proud of you Kaitlyn. Your daughter is fortunate to have such a strong mom.
@Sneaky-Snek3 жыл бұрын
@kaitlin maloryyy just a humble fyi a Heroine is a Female hero type character, Heroin is the drug :P, in a way you are a Heroine to your daughter... my mom got sober when i was born and gave up alcohol for 21 years, im 31 now and reflect on my childhood and how good it was, all due to her struggle and sacrifice keep your strength up and congrats on having a beautiful lil girl, staying clean will make you feel extremely good as you see her grow up more and more :) i'll have 5 years off heroin may 5th 2021 feels really good, i got clean right when fentanyl started blowing up in my area and i know many ppl i know have died from it in the last 5 years and of course, congrats on your sobriety❤❤
@FatalCharge3 жыл бұрын
I have never wanted a complete stranger to succeed more than I have with this guy. It’s heart wrenching to listen to him explain his struggle and see how badly he wants to change.
@rocknrolla24262 жыл бұрын
His struggle rings so true with other addicts. It's an old tale that keeps getting re-written over and over and over. What kills me is when you get clean, and start to feel good about yourself, you feel like using again. Like this time it will be different. And in the end, without change, you end up in a motel room jacking your limp cock smoking crack. It's madness.
@OGRE_HATES_NERDS2 жыл бұрын
he is objectively a very successful guy
@samuisun66842 жыл бұрын
He doesn't suffer the consequences of his behaviour that might have helped him reach that low point - where he would have had to change or be at risk of losing everything. He has that nice guy thing working for him, but in reality it is the Middle Class White Man that has given him a special kind of protection from the consequences of his decisions. And this is why he is cycling over and over again. I do have sympathy for him, because being molested at a tender age leaves deep scars in the psyche that will always torment, the breaking of something sacred, childhood innocence. But his support system is just so all encompassing, that he just doesnt have the impetus to change his subconscious programming. Who else would imagine being able to hold a 6 figure government job whilst still having serious relapses. A bit like the serial killer who keeps convincing the police to let him go, purely because he looks like Patrick, arrested the first time they kill, but released with little to know investigation, only to kill again and again. I really hope that he stops taking for granted the nice guy aspect of his personality, and the white guy priviledges, and really delves into the child abuse he suffered and really understand that he deserved to have been protected, as all children do, from experiencing that early devastating trauma.
@jodycolcomb9297 Жыл бұрын
100% what I am sitting here thinking - he could make such a difference in this world :)
@KittyCatComa3 жыл бұрын
"I don't care about my job as much as my life." Exactly.
@CurtisMarch7 ай бұрын
That’s a change from the first interview.
@TenThumbsProductions3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for being so honest Patrick, I am routing for you man. I'd love to see a follow up 5 years from now with you sober in a healthy relationship, c'mon dude, if you read this, you go this, routing for you man.
@stevearnold82653 жыл бұрын
I’m routing for him too 👍🏻
@thefalselemon5793 жыл бұрын
Routing hard for Patrick!
@swearingpriest983 жыл бұрын
Rooting I believe. If you were routing for him I feel like you'd be giving direction or maybe trenching for him.
@thefalselemon5793 жыл бұрын
@@swearingpriest98 r/woosh
@tonyc.79573 жыл бұрын
@@thefalselemon579 le reddit plebbit.
@resurrectdead82813 жыл бұрын
You can def see he’s still struggling, lots of internal conflict. We are all just a couple of decisions away from meeting mark.
@mindmy6093 жыл бұрын
Meth and porn is linked to
@alexblack86483 жыл бұрын
@@mindmy609 lmao what
@black765613 жыл бұрын
Agreed
@davelocke64263 жыл бұрын
💯
@ivy_caine53023 жыл бұрын
Amen 🙏
@wyattnataros13133 жыл бұрын
You can see on his face that he's fighting his disease every second. you got this Patrick, it's one moment at a time. keep the momentum going, you deserve to love yourself.
@powerboon2k2 жыл бұрын
It is so absolutely clear that he doesn't "got this", whatever that means. He seems like a lovely guy with lots of deep problems.
@shopatthecaravan70173 жыл бұрын
The antidote to selfishness is purpose. I don’t care if you raise chickens, or have a podcast about addiction, or turn empty lots into Gardens, I have no idea what will flip the switch. In my experience, when you dwell in the dark spaces, it has to do with memories of inadequacy and in my case, I have to mentally force myself to bypass the tarpit. Wishing you all the best, you got the power.
@johnswafford26142 жыл бұрын
Underrated comment
@TripleG12212 жыл бұрын
@@johnswafford2614 Extremely underrated. I relate to this comment 100%.
@anaya512 жыл бұрын
Shopatthe Caravan Beautifully put
@seancase15432 жыл бұрын
Your comment is an aha moment for me
@brendanoconnorphotography2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this
@Ginny711663 жыл бұрын
I love this guy. I’m watching all his interviews in order so I don’t know yet where he is now, but I know he has it in him to do this. I’m an addict too. I could get sober but I couldn’t stay sober. …until I did. Now I have ten years, eight months and nine days sober. If I can do it, anyone can do it. Hang on Patrick.
@jennconte11872 жыл бұрын
Good for you!!!🙌🙌 Much love!!❤
@smurfylee2 жыл бұрын
I'm doing that now
@rocknrolla24262 жыл бұрын
Awesome Moonchild. Keep it up.
@mikesmith30642 жыл бұрын
Soooooo weird that how u know exactly.... whyyyyy?
@mikesmith30642 жыл бұрын
How many seconds?
@najjimohammad91243 жыл бұрын
He’s one of the most interesting stories on this channel so far for me. Living a double life many can’t understand, he really shows how addiction affects any and all. He’s a very level headed person though even in the last video I know he’ll get right.
@boidinktwistie43893 жыл бұрын
i guess that's the thing about addiction, you don't really know if he will. obviously everyone including myself wants him to get well, we really don't know if we ever will.
@douglasnicholson35352 жыл бұрын
Bipolar
@PauloNideck3 жыл бұрын
So happy to see this follow up! We need to see him 3 months down the road. He is on his way to getting the help he needs. He is fighting and he is hopeful to be clean, that is already a great start!
@sunnycheba3 жыл бұрын
We need to see him in October. Right before the holidays. He has trouble making it through the holidays.
@jwulf3 жыл бұрын
You can tell he is so tortured by his addiction but otherwise is such a sweet dude. I empathize with him so much.
@HockeyVictory663 жыл бұрын
He said he has been to rehab 20 times. Until he figures out how to stop these patterns he will be doomed to repeat them.
@jayrichardson59033 жыл бұрын
It does happen, I want you to know... For me it was Love that worked. Archimedes said give me a lever long enough , and I will move the world... Love is the lever, you are the fulcrum...Loverage is my term for it. I was fortunate because if God came to me and said " Tell me everything you want in a son and I will give him to you...I could not have imagined this child. Once I was taught you can only Love someone as much as your self the bridge appeared... I wish I could talk with you. And I want you to know I can see that guy in you... the one that knows your worth it.
@hollygold41203 жыл бұрын
I am so blessed to have the obsession removed and its been 4 years clean now. I hope this too can happen for him. I was a street walking crack head and now I have a beautiful life
@NNA19583 жыл бұрын
Clean and sober at the “moment” he is so damn honest and aware of his reality! I really hope he gets the help he needs. 🙏🏾
@huvvy7 ай бұрын
Damn right it's refreshing to see someone take accountability I git respect for him
@Next2TheMoon3 жыл бұрын
Something about him is just so loveable. Full, permanent recovery IS possible Patrick, never give up.
@sofia50963 жыл бұрын
I got sober on rehab 23 I think. There is still hope. This man explained the frustration and insanity behind addiction beautifully. I really pray for him and feel he can do it.
@sofia50963 жыл бұрын
@Christian Torres my first rehab was sophomore year of highschool. I'm 22 now
@micaiahsimmons72453 жыл бұрын
proud of you sis ❤️
@russpoore89972 жыл бұрын
Well done x
@ahippy89722 жыл бұрын
Keep going clean, and well done. The only different thing between having the privilege and love to have a wealthy supportive family and funding for 22 rehab stays and sleeping on a pavement is the love, support and money to help the addict. My family gave me one chance when I was 24 4 years into my hell paid for one week in a religious place and it was hell. They cut of all funds, communication , love, food clothing rent, I had been raped and kidnapped which started it but my wealthy family did not believe me. I had been a grade A student till then. Please understand how lucky you are. Make the most of your freedom and all the love and support whoever paid 22 rehabs before you hit 22 make sure you thank whoever did that for u. I think you can go on to a wonderful life . Stay positive and sharing your story can give others hope! Peace!
@sofia50962 жыл бұрын
@@ahippy8972 I understand the privilege and actually am focusing on it for my studies. Just hit two years clean.
@bartholjoseph30173 жыл бұрын
I want to hug this guy. He’s so honest.
@HP-mp9wq3 жыл бұрын
Me too ❤️
@saudigold503 жыл бұрын
Yes ❤️
@karenmattson67503 жыл бұрын
I can relate! 😘
@Amanda-bt1ur3 жыл бұрын
@Barthol BRUTALLY HONEST!!!!
@afterforever27653 жыл бұрын
Was thinking the same thing!
@timdoyle49023 жыл бұрын
I hope Patrick knows he is not alone even in his darkest moments.
@cindyfitzgerald45003 жыл бұрын
You’re right Tim we are never alone!
@adirondacktrekking19723 жыл бұрын
I know ...I fear he may feel alone
@timdoyle49023 жыл бұрын
@@adirondacktrekking1972 don't you just feel if Patrick had someone with him he'd stand a better chance? Patrick seemed scared I think, and if you have a friend life is much less frightening.
@adirondacktrekking19723 жыл бұрын
@@timdoyle4902 ABSOLUTELY bud ,ABSOLUTELY
@marylougeorge98903 жыл бұрын
Amen.❤
@jourdanwinters76443 жыл бұрын
Your honesty is your ticket out, Patrick. The fact that you see things so clearly can get you where you want to go. Just use it, and treatment. You got this ❤️
@ashleycheechoo38453 жыл бұрын
Patrick is living proof that addiction does not discriminate. We are rooting for your success in sobriety. You are worthy of the deepest joy and love.
@2passportsandpostcards3 жыл бұрын
Holy cow. He is a COMPLETELY different person. LITERALLY different.
@Jessiemess853 жыл бұрын
What a kind soul. I only wish I had his honesty in life
@cococoyle67603 жыл бұрын
Amen and Awomen
@carlosbent504622 күн бұрын
Never seen it before in that format 😊🙏....🫶
@gravelgirls3 жыл бұрын
I can see this guy getting clean and helping others in the future.
@andykaos94263 жыл бұрын
Patrick is such a troubled soul. I am currently in recovery myself and this video really, really spoke to me. I wish him the very best and I truly hope he can make it to the other side, safely and happily.
@Next2TheMoon3 жыл бұрын
Wishing you the very best, and I truly hope you make it to the other side, safely and happily as well brother
@ccelaya33 жыл бұрын
Wow, Patrick reminds me so much of my brother. We just buried my 50-year-old, kind-hearted, talented, engineer, ADHD brother from cocaine/fentynal. He just didn't show up to work, so the police found him when doing a well check. Through my tears, I looked at him in his coffin and it was strange to see his body holding still, no more twitchiness. I hope he is free and happy now in heaven after a 30-year struggle of always feeling shame and like he was a loser, always disappointing himself and our family. We love him and our family is heartbroken. Wish the world knew more about how to switch someone's brain away from addiction. Thank you for bringing attention to this sad, devastating problem.
@dodgernation58653 жыл бұрын
His honesty is pure, his willingness to change even while being addicted is profound. Praying he sees the light at the end of the tunnel. Keep pushing Patrick. We’re pulling for you.
@Anibanani5013 жыл бұрын
This has got to be my most favorite person that you've interviewed. I genuinely like this guy. I see how awesome he is through the haze of addiction.
@RonKent-not-Clark3 жыл бұрын
Brother, I have done it more times than I can count. Lost everything more than once, now I am sober and clean more than 5 years. U CAN DO IT!
@jujubaby6142 жыл бұрын
Did you have to relocate to recover??
@houndjr403 жыл бұрын
Patrick needs a KZbin channel. You can tell such a good guy.
@stevenseventyeight32873 жыл бұрын
for real!
@donsolo78603 жыл бұрын
I think there’s enough crackheads on YT, he needs to focus on recovery and keep us updated via Mark.
@miapdx5033 жыл бұрын
@@donsolo7860 ty
@houndjr403 жыл бұрын
@@donsolo7860 I'd rather not see him on crack ever again. He's real and honest, with a very real story people can relate to. Nothing wrong with a fan base that will support him and keep him accountable. He's easy to connect to and could impact a lot of people's lives... Especially if he beat this disease.
@jaym.11583 жыл бұрын
Needs recovery first
@jkuebler893 жыл бұрын
Guys holding onto so much guilt and regret it's keeping him down. It would be a shame for him to be lost to addiction forever. He's got light and honesty to share. A powerful combo.
@nonyobussiness34403 жыл бұрын
He makes me want to stay sober day 2.
@reillymoore32573 жыл бұрын
You probably did it before so - You can do it again.
@jayn83923 жыл бұрын
How man. How you doing bud? I know the struggle. Hope things are going ok.
@@jayn8392 not terrible still drinking every night but not as much
@daultonlitteral31433 жыл бұрын
Update ??
@markoembarko90453 жыл бұрын
"Anything I do, I do it addictively." Same, Patrick.... Same.
@calebrouth78493 жыл бұрын
I hate that I relate to this.
@k_roc200-323 жыл бұрын
Most addicts trade one addiction for another. Whatever they do they do it in excess weather it be drugs, sex, exercise, eating- they have addictive personalities
@777-g4m3 жыл бұрын
Cookie monster
@markoembarko90453 жыл бұрын
@@k_roc200-32 Very true!
@markoembarko90453 жыл бұрын
@@k_roc200-32 I'm saying #truth from experience.
@peterocallaghan86143 жыл бұрын
Love this guy. Watched his last interview and his explanation of crack addiction was spot on. I related so much. His honesty is awesome
@meekmillions65453 жыл бұрын
First, man this guy must really be an asset to his job. He needs to count his blessings and use that same energy to leave the drugs behind, surround himself with like minds that want the best for him and people he will humble himself too and actually listen too. He seems to need intense counseling moreso then another rehab.
@ccvjd39093 жыл бұрын
Nah. He's protected by laws. When you have an addiction to a substance , your company is not legally allowed to fire you for that. They have to try and help you before they fire you, or they can successfully be sued for wrongful termination. This would cost them more money than trying help the employee. At least that is how it is in Canada .
@missmandys70713 жыл бұрын
In US they can't say that's why they are firing you but they can say missed to many days. Unless he goes to a rehab or hospital they can not fire him for that or missing the days then.
@seonlee48223 жыл бұрын
Hes a unionized LA city employee. Itll be harder to fire him than get him help. Plus the lawsuits he could file after termination.
@canbac43003 жыл бұрын
exact same thinking ! i'm surprised his job is putting up with him! if he had cancer & dr told him you can get rid of it by quitting this ONE thing how fast do you think he'd stop? EXACTLY!!
@marylougeorge98903 жыл бұрын
You make sense but, you don't have the hunger for crack.
@SquirrelTruck843 жыл бұрын
I've been sober 13 yrs. I still have nightmares, bad memories, and regrets. Changed my social circle. Transitioned to a gym addiction. A traveling job got me away n now I'm high on money building my life up. Remember there's never gonna be enough of it to make you happy. The sooner you're off for good the better.
@colleenlally-ross71053 жыл бұрын
I still dream about doing drugs, wake up with a start even feeling shame at times.
@jenniferlucic61443 жыл бұрын
This man is so incredibly raw and honest, I couldn't stop watching and my heart goes out to him. Speaking as a former addict, it's not easy, but as time goes on, it does get easier. Praying for this man!
@LadyRow003 жыл бұрын
He is so worthy of happiness, love, and life. Hope he sees that for himself one day. Also, how handsome is he?! Stud.
@sherridickey73513 жыл бұрын
Someone in the comments put we're all just a decision away from meeting mark that pretty much is the truth anyone at any time can pick up and start using any drug most of my friends my brother died from heroin and when you look over and see someone nodding out you already know in your head they're not feeling nothing. I just got lucky and chose not to go down that path of self-destruction I already knew what it does to people I just got lucky everyone's got their problems and their own demons and their own stories I wish him the best
@marylougeorge98903 жыл бұрын
Amen. We all have Something we're struggling with.
@D.1992-w9l3 жыл бұрын
Spot on
@rikkiross84163 жыл бұрын
Had 7 years. relapsed during covid, 4 days I'll have 6 months again. Work, AA, work at a treatment facility. One thing no one really understands is the mental state after a relapse, its a different realm of mental and emotional hurdles to get over. Which in return makes the decision so much easier to use again, so much stronger. Also I never hear anyone be honest about a big reason to use is because it feels good, the high is great. Its so immense that keeping a steady great life it almost trumps it. The daily work at keeping a spiritual mind and making the right choice is work everyday for an addict when they know in the back of their mind, there is a simple release, and to be like normal people who are just able to have a drink to relax. The jealousy. I love that you do this. I so want to pick your brain. This is something I strive for, to do. To be a voice. The way you tape these are so emotional, the filter, the background, the angle. I truly appreciate you. Mr. Soft White Underbelly . Thank you.
@jg56243 жыл бұрын
This is incredible insight, thank you for sharing.
@goatpepperherbaltea78952 жыл бұрын
Sup now
@Lenitum2 жыл бұрын
I watched all Patrick’s interviews and I came to a conclusion that I recognize some of his personality traits and motivation in myself, even though I have never used any drugs in my life. I am a 34 year old woman, coming from a good, loving family. For most of my life I remember chasing something, trying to please other people, impress them but at the same time I always put myself last, I could never be content with myself. In my teenage years I struggled with anorexia, and that felt like I am in control of something (my weight) even though it was the exact opposite. I didn’t live, I existed and I hated myself. I am a perfectionist too, smart, well educated, ambitious person, but career was never the answer to me. I only became happy when I let go of all of it. And then I became mom and that led to me growing even more as a person. My kids are everything to me but even now I have to constantly remind myself to take are of me. Love myself
@MissTikka2 жыл бұрын
I’ve just started the Patrick series and I’m really hoping that the 2021 updates show him in a better place. I can see him as a brilliant husband/father and I’m sure that will far outdo any high that crack induced. We are all rooting for you dude x
@gutz3232 жыл бұрын
I Was thinking the same thing. If he had a stable relationship and maybe a kid, he would have real responsibilities that he couldn't so easily get out of. He doesn't seem the type of person to run off on a crack binge if he had real important responsibilities, because he seems so genuine and honest. He needs something in his life to ground him, some other thing that he can't get away from other than addiction.
@jettmorris69852 жыл бұрын
@@gutz323 Not at all necessarily…. Having a Wife & kid can just as easily create more stress and anxiety to possibly trigger him wanting to use just that much more. What he “needs” is a set schedule that keeps him busy to point of mental exhaustion and mixed in there some free time to do hobbies that he has constructed from interests he had from being a kid/teenager. Mine is mountain biking and running. I’d rather sit around and do fentanyl but trying to structure the day with positive shjt is so key to being able to stay off of it. Idle hands is the absolute worst thing for any addict.
@gutz3232 жыл бұрын
@@jettmorris6985 I know having your own family won't work for everyone, but this guy I think it could. On one of his videos (not sure if it is this one) he said he had no money and wanted to score. The drug dealer walked away because the guy had no money to pay for the drugs, but then the dealer dropped 20 dollars by accident when he walked off. The guy was desperate, yet he called the dealer back and told him he dropped some money. This act tells me that the guy is honest and compassionate, and would put others infront of himself, that is why I think a wife and child could work with this guy, because he would go out of his way to look after someone who he has responsibility for. I think what is missing in his life is responsibility and love. It seems he cares for others more than he does himself, but at the moment he has no responsibilities, thefore he has nothing to worry, about and he just destroys his life because he doesn't love himself, yet I do believeif if he truly loved someone else he could overcome his problems. The key to all of his problems is true love, whether that be himself or someone else, I don't think he has either.
@mayflower23143 жыл бұрын
It must be so aggravating being this self aware while fighting addiction, Thank you for the follow up. I wish you well Patrick
@BenDoesASMR3 жыл бұрын
You have to be self aware to quit. First step... If you don’t realize what’s going on, it’s hard to change because change what?
@BenDoesASMR3 жыл бұрын
But yes, the first step is terrible. Because it’s you and step 1 -> to the end
@rachaelmiller3573 жыл бұрын
Glad he’s look to get help and treat his underlying issues. Good luck Patrick 🙏
@mariebernier30763 жыл бұрын
Agree.That's the only way that he'll be able to stop using. The urge to use will never really be 'removed.' Some people run from this task their whole lives.
@tommylundy24953 жыл бұрын
"I would've been great" you still have the opportunity to be whatever you want. You still have time. I wish you the best. I totally get when he talks about the 'novelty' of being clean wearing off. It's like another high that you get bored of, and your brain tricks you into rewarding yourself for feeling great, with your drug. The mind is a crazy thing
@jessicavsbridget2 жыл бұрын
I've never touched a drug and probably never will. I do, however, have chronic clinical depression. It's insane to me how much I see of myself in this man. Our lives are so different, but this broken part of our brains that we can't understand is what unifies us. Sometimes I feel like I'm addicted to depression and it always comes back, like Patrick was describing with relapse.
@ohmilanticocean6075 Жыл бұрын
🥺💜 this is so true. I always wondered why I shared such a .. bond when I am not an addict myself. Stay strong jess ♡
@Alexander_W2 ай бұрын
I suffer from both chronic treatment resistant depression and addiction. Many of the symptoms are synonymous. Especially the crippling hopelessness.
@Backhand_Drew3 жыл бұрын
" The more I do these, the more I start to suspect or fear that we never really change." Be careful with your words because this is so profound that relapsing might be the only option some people see.
@SoftWhiteUnderbelly3 жыл бұрын
It’s hard to be a Pollyanna when only one or two out of 2600 have turned things around. It isn’t easy to sit here on the front lines and stay optimistic.
@Backhand_Drew3 жыл бұрын
Soft White Underbelly I couldn’t do what you do and please I can only say this from the comfort of my own home. You have a heart of gold and these stories support a larger picture. It’s with huge guilt I even offer advice as my life goes on. Maybe I’m just pulling for a future without impedance when that’s the product of the process.
@Lexielouwho3 жыл бұрын
@@SoftWhiteUnderbelly I understand what you're saying about being pollyanna cause you've been in the trenches and you've seen the reality of addiction from these interviews but I gotta say when you told him people don't really change my heart sunk for this guy. You basically told him don't bother trying, no one changes anyhow. I felt his hope, the little he had just go up in smoke. Maybe it's not a good idea to tell an addict that you've not seen but 10%of people change. The message they hear is why try then. But I do get it being hard to stay positive when all you see is the devastation. I couldn't do what you do. I grew up with an abusive addict older brother and he's now in his fifties and from age 12 he's been an addict. So I can believe most don't change cause I've seen that first hand.
@gwynethjones35032 жыл бұрын
Soft White Underbelly, words have power. Not everything you think needs to be said. Patrick was struggling so hard and you told him addiction is a matter of willpower and intelligence, and people don’t change.
@mumik17502 жыл бұрын
@@SoftWhiteUnderbelly some of us do. 2 years sober almost here. My mom is 3 years, you should talk to her... they are putting her story in "the big book". Some of us do turn things around but your statement is true... even for us addicts active in helping others in recovery. It's hard to see the people who die, don't come back, or continuously go back to using. There's moments of lucidity in life, the addict needs to strike continuously in those moments, just as if they were using, to build back up. Just one day at a time. I lost my brother in 2016 to addiction, i miss him terribly. I hope Patrick is doing better. 🙏
@rollaroyce7473 жыл бұрын
He’s a nice guy wish him the best...
@tshirtfactory073 жыл бұрын
@Bob Donaldson it is absolutely a choice at one point or another. Just as asinine as it is to just say "oh well I have this disease, I cant help it....." it is just as ridiculous to ignore the fact that some people are not able to overcome the drive to do these drugs and seek out these feelings.... It is wired in thier brains the exact same way that your's is to seek food, shelter and things that bring you comfort. I tell people the the desire for the addict to abstain from use is just like the desire for a truly starving man to ignore the basket of bread and butter waiting for him in the pantry. Understanding addiction and the addict is to become absolutely compassionate towards addiction and the addict.
@WestonEvans3 жыл бұрын
Being a “choice” doesn’t negate it from being a disease. You’re also simplifying it by acting like it’s a single choice. “Do or do not.” It’s multiple choices, multiple decisions. Sometimes 60 every minute. That’s abnormal. That’s not normal human biology. An addicts brain is chemically altered. Regardless of how it got there, it’s there now. Can’t make a single choice to get it back normal. It’s hundreds, thousands and millions of decisions between active addiction back to some semblance of normalcy. Whereas it’s a fraction of choices to end up off the deep end.
@marylougeorge98903 жыл бұрын
@@tshirtfactory07 Good comment!
@marylougeorge98903 жыл бұрын
@@WestonEvans 👍
@tshirtfactory073 жыл бұрын
@@WestonEvans i was arguing the same case. I am a recovering heroin addict. I didnt mean to make it seem like I was simplifying the issue. My response was anti to the original poster's statement that addiction is merely a choice rather than a disease.
@leighannblaylock78153 жыл бұрын
I love that he addresses he doesn't care about the job so much and getting sober. This speaking to the city / state with their caring and understanding nature
@EbonynIvory833 жыл бұрын
What a difference. He's a handsome man.
@desmondcrowley44993 жыл бұрын
These 2 interviews hit me in so many emotions it's unreal.
@ducknoired3 жыл бұрын
The perfectionism feels really key here. Patrick you have so many ingredients of recovery going on. It seems like when you don't 'do the opposite' of addiction, or you have a relapse, everything falls apart and you lose your sense that you've made any progress. But maybe part of staying stable and clean is recognising that sometimes you are going to feel selfish or act selfish or have an off day or underachieve, just like all the rest of us. Maybe you'll even relapse here and there. And get back on the horse, holding on to your sense of self regardless.
@stevehunt9143 жыл бұрын
Great insight!
@stephmeek39553 жыл бұрын
Absolutely! After my last depressive episode.....I was constantly saying I need to eat healthy, I need to exercise etc etc. My husband gave me my new motto of today, I just need to be.
@elcid88893 жыл бұрын
👍
@shadowsergo66043 жыл бұрын
We Do Recover! 2/6/18 Sending love to you and every other addict out there reading this ....
@BigVA3 жыл бұрын
It scares me how much I have in common with this man. Hope he makes it.
@MartinClimbs3 жыл бұрын
I hope you find whatever you are looking for Vincent, best of luck.
@autumnfatale3 жыл бұрын
Don't be afraid to ask for help!!
@alialiayyy3 жыл бұрын
Just watched this and had exactly the same thought. You aren't alone
@missroobeevetivernosit8703 жыл бұрын
I’m a recovering meth addict. I really hope this guy succeeds in his sobriety. Once I kicked the addiction life is really amazing. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
@VivaRevolucionDGS3 жыл бұрын
Congratulations. Wish you nothing but the best
@Timmsy2 жыл бұрын
Patrick, the only thing that freed me from a 17yr iv meth habit was praying and supernatural intervention. I believe it's a demon that we're saddled with. Everything you said in your 1st interview resonated with me. Never could I have believed it was possible to live without the urges. It can happen!!! Going on 4yrs now and life is better than ever. Praying for you brother 🙏 💙
@CovidisfakeCovidisfake Жыл бұрын
Same problem love taken risk cant say no when free
@doctorboxing510611 ай бұрын
@@CovidisfakeCovidisfake Same. I got that demon on my back and I can't get it off. Glad you found they way out. I need to try using your methods but I have trouble believing in God. Their are so many religions and I stuggle chosing one because I don't know which one is the right one. Like I don't want to get into one and it will actually make my problem worst or send me to hell for sure lol.
@melissam95553 жыл бұрын
Oh my goodness. This guy is so articulate. I think this is the greatest description I've ever heard regarding our inner struggle with addiction. I hope he's finding peace and freedom.
@bigone57573 жыл бұрын
Patrick i wish that you get through this, stay clean and live a happy and fulfilling life! I believe in you, hold on to your hope! I appreciate you and your honesty
@Jordan-il1pq3 жыл бұрын
I’m so glad that he still has his job but you can look at him and see how deeply he’s hurting. His eyes are so lifeless and I can almost feel how tired he is of fighting this. I have so much hope for him. He seems like such a genuine person who just wants to love and be loved. I could see him really being able to help others stuck in this cycle. I hope he can get healthy and get the life that he wants and deserves soon.
@bradyhicks13813 жыл бұрын
Patrick stop tourtureing yourself brotherman. I really relate to you out of any other interview. You deserve to be free ✌
@Suitcase__212 жыл бұрын
I’ve never been this invested in a complete stranger. This man is very relatable, articulate, and honest.
@unbers41272 жыл бұрын
I only discovered this channel in the past couple of days but I've watched dozens of these videos. It's incredible. If this stuff was shown on national television we would have a more empathetic, kinder society.
@TimeWatch53 жыл бұрын
At least he didn't get fired on his day off for stealing boxes.
@MariselaR.da1daOnly3 жыл бұрын
Definitely does not happen that way for everybody. Answers a lot though. If you are looking.
@azuresonic693 жыл бұрын
Friday reference!
@justme-qp8nz3 жыл бұрын
@@azuresonic69 lol I literally screamed when I read that. We love Friday in the UK 😍😍
@franciscvmpbell3 жыл бұрын
Now I know you don’t smoke weed, I know this, but imma get you high today. Cause it’s Friday, you ain’t got no job, and you ain’t got shit to do!
@nikobello61733 жыл бұрын
What the fuck you stealing boxers for? Tryna b in a club house???
@tothemoon.77733 жыл бұрын
Love watching Patrick .been through it mate.its not easy
@terrythetuffkunt92153 жыл бұрын
You aussie bro?
@michaelhaile63713 жыл бұрын
Wow, he seems like totally different person. I know he is struggling. Stay strong.
@UNcommonSenseAUS3 жыл бұрын
@@terrythetuffkunt9215 sounds like it, or a pommie
@BoomCliq3 жыл бұрын
This video has helped me shift my mindset. I cherish this channel and all of the people on it. Thank you :)
@shelby5t13 жыл бұрын
Patrick, do you know how many lives you have impacted by these interviews? Right there you're helping people. If you help us, let us help you. You have so much to offer the world. I hope you take the road to a Rehab center. You can do it....you make it ...for long term. For life. You said you like to make people happy....here's your chance...makes us all happy and PROUD. Let us watch you succeed. I have faith in you. Hugs to you XO
@__iconoclast77443 жыл бұрын
Crazy dude was all the way fried on crack last interview, the difference is so insane. Would never bare myself like that. Takes serious courage
@cdeezy27183 жыл бұрын
"I tried to use my crackhead brain; to solve my crackhead problems" I dont even smoke crack... but can relate 😭😭😂
@sewardcurrie3 жыл бұрын
true dat brother...
@summerluvkisses3 жыл бұрын
@@sewardcurrie 😅😂😂
@goldenarm0093 жыл бұрын
The thing I love about your portraits is it highlights the asymmetry of the human form. Many people think we are symmetrical and that is very rarely the case. The resulting asymmetry - stripped of color and devoid of a pose or smile - combined with the often rugged look of people that have lived difficult lives, make these the realest photographs I’ve ever seen.
@marylougeorge98903 жыл бұрын
I love black and white photos. No color to get in the way of what the pic radiates.
@eliwahuhi3 жыл бұрын
I felt it when the interviewer said that you want everyone to love you, because you can't love yourself.
@Jackclarkesshorts3 жыл бұрын
I love Patrick's honesty. Such a rare commodity in an addict. I hope you eventually get and stay clean and maybe help others get clean . Best of luck to you.
@delusionallarry3310 Жыл бұрын
Just a normal guy, feeling for this dude. May God give you the strength to pull through brother.
@onelogue Жыл бұрын
God wont do shit. Us fellow humans can lift him up. Even church begs for money to stay afloat.
@Beefwelliington3 жыл бұрын
I wonder if anyone has suggested to Patrick maybe just giving Psychedelic retreat a try, I have just seen it work for friends and heard great things, it could be worth a try to learn to love yourself again and I hope to see you again in a follow up video, remember there is always a road for redemption and forgiveness, all the best to you Patrick.
@marylougeorge98903 жыл бұрын
That's for Acknowledged PTSD. I have heard there are good results with veterans.
@pothandlepeddlar3 жыл бұрын
I agree with this. Hope he sees this.
@jocelynmorales99843 жыл бұрын
@@marylougeorge9890 it’s not only used for that, it’s used for alcoholics and drug addicts too.
@jocelynmorales99843 жыл бұрын
Yes! I’ve known people who are really bad alcoholics do a 7 day retreat and completely transform.
@marylougeorge98903 жыл бұрын
@@jocelynmorales9984 Cool!
@whatdoyoulivefor7353 жыл бұрын
"When you're going through Hell, keep going." -Winston Churchill Patrick, you remind me of myself when I was deep in the hell of addiction. I'm praying for you, my friend. To get over mine was purely awful. I had to accept that I was going to be deeply and horrifically depressed and useless for, possibly forever, wishing only for death. It was the hardest pill to swallow and after I finally did, I entered a different, waaay worse kind of hell. But in that hell I was facing up towards the light instead of lighting down towards the darkness. It was the worst time of my life but by the grace of God I accepted it somehow. The commitment to stop felt like deciding to jump out of a speeding hell-bound train, knowing I'm choosing to break both my legs and that I'll have to start an excruciating crawl in the opposite direction. I wish no-one ever had to go through it. I don't even understand how I did... I can't say I know what you're going through but I know you're extremely brave for keeping on and I know that by the grace of God you'll get out of this once and for all.
@marylougeorge98903 жыл бұрын
💖
@coolinism3 жыл бұрын
❤👏👊
@marylougeorge98903 жыл бұрын
Patrick, thank you for doing these interviews. Your honesty has pulled down the walls of lies on addiction proving that it isn't about a class or color stereotype. You did more good here than you know. I do hope to hear from you again. I'm saying a prayer for you. ❤❤❤
@KINDAtheexpert76083 жыл бұрын
Idk how old this guy is but I'm 31, and have battled addiction for OVER a decade and a half and I literally RELATE to every word this guy says. He is an older version of me. Funny how we can relate. BEST OF LUCK BROTHER✊
@chirabowles4983 жыл бұрын
He is so smart in so many ways. I would suspect that his first sexual experience plays a huge roll in all of this.
@violamcviolet22223 жыл бұрын
I agree. He said in the last video that he wasn't sure if it was related or not, but I think it's worth examining in depth.
@jcbbb3 жыл бұрын
Meth and Crack flip a switch in your mind (especially men) that stimulates sexual desire That's why everyone watches porn for 24 hours straight It will make the most honest man a pervert
@cloud-seven3 жыл бұрын
Nothing to do with a soul-less society and a broken vessel
@Noonecares32033 жыл бұрын
We all have addictions. I am also a perfectionist and it’s hard to live that way. He is so honest with us and himself. I believe he will overcome this. I believe in him. I think he can change. He may not lose the desire to use, but I think his desire to be better will prevail. He’s a strong person. He’s been fighting a long time.
@Mint-kj9kw3 жыл бұрын
I hate when people say this. I'm not addicted to anything....food, television, alcohol, drugs, social media, porn, masturbation, etc. There are tons of healthy people out there that don't need to "cope" in life.
@Noonecares32033 жыл бұрын
@@Mint-kj9kw I think I should have rephrased that as “ a lot of people” rather than “we all”
@thepersianpapi3 жыл бұрын
Discipline is the highest form of self love!
@franktrautman28173 жыл бұрын
Yeah try that theory with diarrhea let me know how that works for you
@roannfrome10253 жыл бұрын
He's such a good guy can't help but love him. And I totally understand him, too.
@gb67793 жыл бұрын
People like this are the best teachers
@kolebronson242 жыл бұрын
You are a beautiful soul Patrick. Thank you so much for sharing your story and your honesty. I hope you're able to find peace.
@randyrawdingii51353 жыл бұрын
Hey brother, I've dealt with the shame too. Never thought I could be free. Clean 5 years now. Don't give up on yourself.
@jonnylons13 жыл бұрын
I love the way the interviewer actually spends most of this trying to help Patrick
@marylougeorge98903 жыл бұрын
I'm sure Mark usually is determining if the interviewee can be helped and how. Watch Mark's interviews of himself on this channel and the full interview on Koncrete.
@cabr3ra3 жыл бұрын
My last job, if you get caught high they fire you but if you ask for help, they work with you. So they tell you during orientation, to ask for help. I wish they did this with patients who have depression and mental health issues.
@marylougeorge98903 жыл бұрын
Yes.
@keroclow90593 жыл бұрын
It os because its easier to see. Depression and illness isn't always noticeable until it's to late
@Tatiboo1433 жыл бұрын
he is so handsome and young still. i hope he makes it through
@Moe1993x3 жыл бұрын
Dude the change from this video and the last is amazing. Keep it up man. I'm rooting for you man.
@candypuff50143 жыл бұрын
Patrick you are awesome! From my personal experience i needed a long term treatment, over a year. I found that I all the information in the world couldn't help me without having a long period of practice. Had to practice sober life to be ok with it.
@pri.sci.lla.3 жыл бұрын
Addiction absolutely is a disease (complex brain and body disease according to experts). I’m glad to hear his employers are kind and hopefully they work with him.
@mpat1003 жыл бұрын
no its not, its a weakness, get on with it
@Melvin05463 жыл бұрын
Both wrong
@turbosnail1593 жыл бұрын
@@mpat100 Really? wise up murph
@JanoyCresva3 жыл бұрын
Its not a disease. Its a CHOICE and then a string of bad decisions. This is coming from a former meth, alcohol, and heroin addict. Been clean for 7 years now. Normally people that say its a disease are people who have ZERO CLUE about drugs, medical workers who want that sweet insurance money, or addicts who want an excuse for continuing to fuck up. I've actually held heroin in my hand during recovery and handed it back to a friend because he wanted to show me "Some BOMB SHIT BRO!" ONce you're clean for long enough to not withdrawal, saying its a disease when you CHOOSE to use again is like saying cheating on your wife is a disease. Its ridiculous.
@quirkypurple3 жыл бұрын
I dont like the "its a disease" mantra because I think it absolves the owner of responsibility. Addiction, I think, is a symptom of a painful life, trauma, unresolved mental health issues. And when you tackle those issues, then the symptoms can go away.
@challica3 жыл бұрын
I hope from a bottom of my heart that he will succeed to overcome its problems. Keep it up, Patrick. You are not alone.
@soonergirlteacher3 жыл бұрын
Patrick, you are already helping people and you don't even know it. Thank you for your honesty and insight and I think your amazing for showing your vulnerable side to the world that takes courage and strength. Prayers and hugs to you!
@ryangreen75923 жыл бұрын
He seems like such a cool dude, super laid back and down to earth. I wish him all the best and hope he's able to find happiness and peace.
@joannemates63673 жыл бұрын
This journey will be his biggest teacher and he will use his experience to help others. I hope we see another follow up in 3 months time.
@wesleyalan91793 жыл бұрын
Yep! And I hope for another follow up too, im pulling for him!💜
@miroz58243 жыл бұрын
My appreciation of this channel is beyond words. So just another comment on the altar of YT algorithm :)
@tommylundy24953 жыл бұрын
He's still got a level head on his shoulders. I'd say it was the worst comedown of his life realising he had been insanely honest whilst tweaking for everyone to see. When you're high its common to be almost too honest, too bare. It could drive a human to do something terrible. I hope this guy gets better. He needs to get away from the city. Unfortunately it seems this guy still thinks he's in his 20s in some regards. Like his mind was frozen at 25
@wesleyalan91793 жыл бұрын
I was thinking the same thing, get away from the city
@tommylundy24953 жыл бұрын
@@wesleyalan9179 also, he seems to have the most understanding employers ever to walk on earth, I work in film and if you so much as smoke weed or party a little you might as well have only one arm 😂
@MarkGelderland3 жыл бұрын
@@tommylundy2495 Really? I thought everybody in the film world was doing cocaine
@tommylundy24953 жыл бұрын
@@MarkGelderland the higher ups probably but its looked down upon as a grip or whatever. Everyone does it you just have to act like an angel in front of the right people. Smoke and mirrors as they say. Also maybe it's just the Irish culture. Drinking problems are constantly overlooked though
@wesleyalan91793 жыл бұрын
@@MarkGelderland ..that probably depends on who you know, or who you are
@Kat-ip5ex3 жыл бұрын
What a difference! Keep fighting the good fight. Get into rehab and take care of yourself. You seem like such a good person and you deserve a good life ❤️
@ivanruiz22183 жыл бұрын
He's depressed. Stay in touch with him. I am afraid he's at risk of killing himself.
@jojobee423 жыл бұрын
That depression/sadness/melancholy always comes after a drug binge...
@loravipperman30613 жыл бұрын
Yeah I’m worried about that too 💔 I can’t imagine a more heartbreaking end to the story
@StrangeTripNH3 жыл бұрын
During recovery is when people are most prone. It seems ridiculous to bring up, but similar to the newest rendition of A Star is Born
@lunkerjunkie3 жыл бұрын
Love yourself doesn't work for people who don't feel safe. Safety is primary.
@rl4773 жыл бұрын
Great follow up interview, hope things work out for him.
@Nick-fb9uq3 жыл бұрын
"My own strength always fails".. thats a broken man. Please be sure he gets any help he can.
@dixiedownunder13 жыл бұрын
I watched both of Patrick's videos and got tears in my eyes. I hope he can find his way now.