8 Things That Would Make The Force Awakens Amazing - Stuff About Star Wars

[@alexaguero6079]

when Han says "it's true... all of it", he's referring to the canoninity of the star wars holiday special

[@iainhansen1047]

Alex Aguero hahahahahaha

[@viljamtheninja]

omygah

[@positronundervolt4799]

lol

[@Zathyra80]

wow, slow down there, satan ;)

[@ZeroFate643]

> Canonicality FTFY

[@elbruces]

If Luke had said literally anything, "hello," or "so you've come," or any simple sentence, it would have been treated as the most incredible quote by anyone ever forever.

[@lastgreeting1060]

El Bruce "Thanks for the saber! I haven't seen one since 1983!"

[@lnsflare1]

Luke: "Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?" Then he spends the entire rest of the new trilogy speaking only in quotes from non-Hammil Jokers.

[@GamesFromSpace]

I was thinking "That's yours now."

[@merchantfan]

Luke takes out a small sci fi version of the iPod. He hits the button. The Star Wars theme begins to play. Roll credits.

[@devinm9245]

"It's time to kick some ass and chew blue milk-gum"

[@karasutenka]

There's another way that they could have made The Force Awakens awesome as well: Don't reveal Kylo Ren's identity until the moment it truly matters. Kylo Ren is an awesome character. He's powerful, he's conflicted, he has a badass look and a badass lightsaber. And (at least for a little while,) he was mysterious. "Who is this masked man?" We all asked ourselves as we sat down to watch the movie for the first time. We knew that he had some kind of connection to the Skywalkers through little things that we had seen in trailers, but that was all we really knew. And Abrams should have kept it at that. If Abrams had kept Kylo's identity a secret, with only subtle hints here and there as to who he truly was for the hardcore fans to notice, and built up the suspense, then the big "Han and Kylo" scene on the Starkiller base would have instantly reached levels of powerful cinematography that we haven't really seen since "I am your Father." But instead, what we got was one of the most telegraphed 'shockers' in movie history, that literally anyone with a brain and a basic understanding of plot structure could see coming for almost an hour. You want to talk about missed opportunities, then this one is in my opinion, the biggest miss of them all.

[@notednuance]

I understand what they were going for by having the moments of conflict for Kylo happening when his mask was off. Dutiful sith with the mask... conflicted son of Han when the mask was off... then finally unmasked he kills his father presumably indicating that the conflict has resolved and that to appreciate his conflict you have to suspect his origin. HOWEVER I do not think the payoff is worth it. I agree that the "twist" reveal should have been less telegraphed... I also think he would have had more impact as a character if he had stayed masked until the confrontation with Han. We could have had a movie with Han dreading the confrontation with Kylo without the audience knowing the reason. Then on this bridge Han confront his son, and we are clued in to the struggle Han was facing... Kylo unmasks to face his father and we see him as a human with a family for the first time. I don't know, could have been this big emotional shift... the sudden hope that the faceless bad guy isn't faceless and has ties to our heroes! Maybe we are going to have the big bad guy join our side earlier than Vader did in the end... and instead he kills his father... puts the mask right back on and we understand this story doesn't have a redemption subplot for our villain... he may be our Vader stand in... and while not as intimidating, doesn't have the same weakness where family is concerned.

[@mabusestestament]

The reason they didn't keep Kylo Ren's identity secret, but revelead it pretty early on is very simple. He already was a Darth Vader inspired character, keeping his identity secret and revealing it as a 'twist' would simply be making it even more of a Darth Vader copy.

[@KarmasAB123]

Snoke: "Your father... Han... Solo..." Subtle, movie. Subtle.

[@mindfulmike8612]

It could turn out that Kylo is a good guy and he had to kill Han to get to the point where Snoke will see him in person so that he and the rest of the gang can take him out. "I know what I have to do... Will you help me?" and Han also knows that he has to make that sacrifice. This makes way more sense than Kylo just being an angry douche and makes Han's death mean so much more (as a sacrifice by both Han and Kylo, who is forced to kill his own father), which means that it's almost certainly wrong.

[@petesperandio]

To add to this, I also like Mark Hamill's idea of having Luke, Leia, and Chewie witness Han's death rather than Rey, Finn, and Chewie, but I'd adapt it a bit. I'd have Chewie as the only witness to Han's death. I think it would have made the scene more impactful, as the only witness to his death would be his smuggling partner and his best friend. Maybe include a scene where Leia feels his death and faints or something like that to parallel that to Yoda sensing Order 66 on Kashyyyk. It would hit home far more than seeing Rey and Finn get all sad. They knew Han for two or three days tops. That would be like a passenger you had a funny conversation with one time showing up to your father or mother's funeral and bawling their eyes out about it. Them being there only serves to further initiate them into the Star Wars universe, but there were much better ways of doing this. The Finn fight with Phasma would've been cool to watch, expand Rey's reactions to events around her in a different way than going wide eyed and yelling all the time (a bit of a nitpick, but it bothered me the whole way through). Like lots of other scenes in this film, this to me feels like Disney forcing Rey and Finn forcing them into their newfound roles in the trilogy rather than letting the fan base get to know and enjoy their characters. To me, Rey, Finn, and especially Poe and Phasma, are the weird kids your parents forced you to invite to your birthday party when you were a kid. Weird and unwelcome. Like the majority of the movie for me. The rest of this comment is me ranting about why I dislike not only this movie, but will almost certainly hate the next two as well, so if you're not looking for that, I'm throwing you a bone and giving you a heads up. However, all of these things are minuscule compared to the biggest grope I have with this trilogy, the grope that will put this trilogy far behind the prequels for me in terms of quality, and it's this: we are all fully aware that Disney is going to make big profits off of this film. We are going to see all the new films regardless of whether we want to or not, because we're Star Wars fans. We can't help it. Disney knows this. They want to pull us in and make us buy tickets and DVD copies when they go up. They're covered financially; I think that even if Episode IX is Luke opening up a space strip club with Jar Jar high on deathsticks the whole time, they'll make a profit. They could expand on the series. Rather than awkwardly shove the characters into situations that have already been done by more interesting characters because plot and lol money, put them into similar but new situations. Situations that stand apart in most ways but hearken back to old vents that we all love. Have Rey and Finn integrate and earn their spots in Star Wars by rescuing R2D2 at the end, an event that references back to Episode IV in a less retardedly obvious way. Rather than Death Star Round 3, have seemingly impossible task that's exciting and fresh, but calls back to similar themes from the Trench Run, like that all-or-nothing gamble of claiming the map to Luke Skywalker, forging new alliances and friendships in the ultimate test, evil on the verge of winning but narrowly beaten by good. You know, themes that almost every aspect of Star Wars is built on. But no. That's too much effort. So what do we get instead? Us fans, some of whom have been avid about Star Wars for *40 years*, who camped outside of theaters for hours to see the latest one, who have played all the games in addition to watching the movies and reading the books, who have such an encyclopedic knowledge of Wookieepedia that if you revealed it to anybody else, they'd be scared of and for you? What do we get? Pre-release ads that hype the movie to a point where it can never fully satisfy, a film that is literally Episode IV the 2nd time, characters that are being designed to purposely and utterly cast the originals aside rather than work alongside them, a film so completely zoned in on the new generation (which is *not* bad in and of itself) that it comes to cost and ignore the rest of the fanbase, and intended to sell toys, books, and all of it for the ultimate purpose of selling merchandise and making money, not to entertain the loyal and loving fans. Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens is simply the latest in remade and remastered films, and in this I find is the biggest crime this movie commits. Because you see, this is far worse than simply being bad. The general consensus among the prequels is that they were pretty bad and tanked the franchise, but at the bare minimum they are bad enough where they can be funny and entertaining. Prequel Memes prove this. In that respect at least, the prequels are entertaining. I will go on the books and say that by this time 10 years into the future, things won't be the same for the sequel trilogy. I highly doubt Sequel Memes will be a thing, if memes will still be a thing. I know I will see the Force Awakens as something worse than mediocre, worse than bad, worse than so awful its funny, even worse than boring: Episode VII was downright depressing. I felt worse leaving the theater than I did when I came in. It depresses and will continue to depress that as of June 22, 2017 at 3:18 in the morning EST, I knew these films would shit all over everything I hold dear about Star Wars, and that the franchise would go the way of the Terminator and Alien films: sequeled to death and milked dry for everything they're worth. However, unlike the film, I don't want to end on a depressing note, so I will say this: if Rogue One is anything to go off of, perhaps in the Anthology films we will find a new hope. Although with the Han Solo director debacle, this may prove incorrect.

[@masonrandle4662]

These are honestly all great points

[@Trashplat]

Mason Randle Disagreed 😅

[@unvergebeneid]

Except for.... if there's really another bigger, badder Starkiller Base, I'm gonna shoot myself in the head. Figuratively.

[@keencannon81]

I was hoping they'd say something about Kylo Ren. Maybe it's just me but I thought they shouldn't have taken his helmet off. At least until Han's death scene, if at all. I feel like they humanized him too soon, he was less the snarky badass we saw in the first act and more like some emo kid who hates his parents just because he thinks it's cool...

[@brycenerdstrom567]

clone poe is a bad take. Most of the rest ranges from great to ok.

[@seanblack1320]

Except the first one. Seriously, he said so much in the end all without actually speaking.

[@caesarmatty]

Kill Jar Jar in the first 5 minutes... Fucking brilliant.

[@SloganLogan]

A hell of a cliffhanger would have been for Luke to speak and at the end suggest, "It's time for the Jedi to end."

[@liamnehren1054]

because canonically that was the purpose of Anakin as dictated by the force itself.

[@antbuoy]

Any director than JJ Abrams might have been able to deliver this. He has the weirdest ideas about 'mystery' and 'tension' and 'cliff-hangers'. Glad you are calling out the Force Awakens for their BS. Just doing A New Hope again is not enough.

[@ordinarytree4678]

I love this. I wish filmmakers had more peer review so they could implement good decisions like these before they release the film

[@MovieBuffConnorJamieson]

Well "peer review" can be dangerous and become just "decision by committee" which is NOT good because then there is no original vision. That's a big problem with a lot of modern day blockbusters is that they lack a clear singular vision which would be ever further destroyed by peer review. Even if it has faults I'd much rather watch one persons idea of a film as suppose to a film that has had focus groups and marketing heads make all the decisions.

[@sintua]

Same fate befalls many early access games, with fans demanding changes that THEY want which would decidedly change the tone, mechanics, or intent of the game.

[@jpstudios-11]

I like it

[@ordinarytree4678]

***** Ah, good point. I suppose I more wish I lived in a timeline where JJ Abrams and other directors had these ideas on their own lol

[@tristragyopsie5464]

That could be a double edge sword. more feedback can be good but also it can water down and convolute the mix. Case in point . . . . most mainstream comics and their incessant need for reboots. Or the fact that no one seems to realize that the MCU is most likely writing themselves into a corner of a trash compactor.

[@TheTitoMosquito]

holy crap..... maybe your team should be writing these movies lol. I would have rather watched this movie instead of "A New Hope vol 2"

[@aaronk8440]

Love me some Cody talking bout stuff

[@TheQuincyEdwards]

JJ Abrams is the Diddy of movies. He takes eighties tropes and other directors influences and remixes them. Unfortunately, it leaves his characters with no depth and no sense of loss when a character dies. Just like Diddy's 'Been Around the World' is a good jam, but David Bowie's 'Let's Dance' is a classic.

[@docter9000]

but if you have kilo kill jar-jar then we can't see kilo as the bad guy anymore

[@Yvaelle]

Yes but then you instantly also endear the audience to the bad guy, which is a big improvement over the audience thinking Kylo is a whiny little bitch the whole first movie. By contrast, Vader was awesome from the moment of his first scene to his last scene throughout the original trilogy - having Kylo's first scene being him savagely shredding through a town of innocents, then torturing and needlessly dissecting Jar Jar for information: the audience would be left with like, "okay, so this guy is a) a real threat, b) not a good guy, c) a total badass. Instead of just a dumb, "Kylo is bad, and Rey is good!" message - we would have, "Kylo does bad shit for the right reasons sometimes, and Rey is well-intentioned but naive" - and that's a far more interesting philosophical paradox than just, "Sith are Evil, Jedi are Good": infact, showing this exact juxtaposition/interpretation of Jedi/Sith is exactly what made KOTOR 2 the best Star Wars story of all time ("do the ends justify the means?") Edit: Also, showing Kylo mercilessly shred some innocents and Jar Jar - without any emotional consequence of the action - would establish to the audience that he has no hesitation when it comes to killing if he thinks it is justified. Which means when you get to the scene where he kills Han, it's suddenly very emotional for Kylo - and you see he's human after all: and yet don't just think he's emo. Killing his father is difficult for him, is affects him, it hurts him - but killing Jar Jar? That's sport.

[@Deuteromis]

Yvaelle If they had just kept Kylo Ren's helmet on until he saw Han, then I think there wouldn't be a problem. Kylo was a decent villain until his helmet came off, then he just looked like a whiny bitch. But he is a Skywalker, so I guess being whiny runs in the family.

[@hindigente]

He is not the bad guy anyway, but yeah, perhaps it would spoil his Vader-like redemption.

[@Team_BaM]

docter9000 I can't see him as the bad guy as it stands. He got beat up by a child who has zero training with a lightsaber. Dead Purple I would agree, except he just has this body language in the first scene which was awkward at best and childish at worst even with the sweet helmet on.

[@geekygecko1849]

While I see the complaint about Kylo being whiny, I think it's a really fun juxtoposition between him and Darth Vader. Vader is calm and in control, whenever he gets angry he doesn't freak out. He just calmly lofts his hand and force chokes the person. But Kylo is a different story. He gets angry easily and lashes out in a very rage heavy way. The exact opposite of Vader and I really enjoy it.

[@manamaster6]

What I hated the most about TFA is the fact that they want us to believe that Luke Skywalker fled and left his friends, sister, the rest of the order, etc. after his nephew turned evil, the same Luke Skywalker that preferred to abandon his Jedi training to save his friends. Damn, this was even worse than Rey being a Mary Sue (she can perform Jedi mind tricks, use proficiently a lightsaber, be the pilot of the Millennium Falcon without training, even Luke couldn't and he was already a pilot, being hugged by Leia, asked to be part of the Falcon's crew, and a huge etcetera.)

[@TheRunesmythe]

I would offer a different perspective in response to this. Though this may be fruitless because it could be misconstrued as argumentative that I'm offering a different take, I would ask that you try to keep in mind that I'm not trying to debate, or so that there's a right or wrong answer here; I'm just offering some other food for thought that might shed some different light on the situation. By the end of the original triology, there would have been an immense amount of pressure on the Heroes of the Alliance (a.k.a. the people most responsible for the downfall of the Empire, including Luke, Leia and Han) that they probably felt like everything was now riding on them to help decide on and implement a system to replace the one they'd just overthrown. In Luke's case, he would probably feel twice as much pressure since he'd now feel it's his responsibility to begin the Jedi Order anew. Obviously, given the information we have available, these efforts must have yielded positive results at least for some amount of time since they talk about establishing a new Republic and we can only imagine everything that went along with that. At some point though, the facade begins to fall away, cracks begin to appear in this "perfect" eidolon they've constructed; enough so that a group like the First Order could not only begin but flourish. So now you have people who survived the horrors and atrocities of the Empire only to see themselves failing at implementing something better in its place, which is probably going to put a lot of strain on the relationships they have; add to this the unprecedented failure that is Ben Solo not only succumbing to the Dark Side but convincing other fledgling Jedi to do so as well. Now Han and Leia have ostensibly lost a son, and Luke has ostensibly lost a nephew and other trainees to the Dark Side, as well as having his remaining trainees slaughter by said group. We're led to believe that none of the three characters (Han, Leia and Luke) ever blamed each other, overtly or otherwise and that may well be true but it doesn't take into account human nature; many of us seem hard-wired to assume guilt, even if we manufacture it ourselves and nothing about the Star Wars Universe has indicated that the humans in it aren't the same. The thing about being in this sort of state is that we naturally begin to misinterpret the words and actions of others; completely innocuous phrases and actions suddenly seem accusatory and cause us to immediately go on the defensive because we don't seem to realize (or perhaps even want to do so) that all we're seeing is our own thoughts and feelings projected onto other people because after feeling guilt for any length of time we seem to desperately *want* to find someone else to blame it on. Now imagine what kind of effect all of this would have on three people who were already feeling an immense amount of pressure and responsibility and it actually makes sense why they've done what they've done and changed/reverted; Han believes that deep down, somehow, it's his fault his son turned out the way he did (this is discussed in the film) and assumes (rightly or otherwise) that other people blame him as well, so he runs away from that situation and tries to go back to being the care-free scoundrel he once was, only now he's become a lot more cynical (which is saying a lot, considering how cynical he was before); Leia believes that its somehow her fault for carrying these warped genes (child of Anakin/Vader, a genocidal tyrant who still thought he was a good person deep down) and that Ben went bad because of her, so she throws herself back into the role of both politician and Rebel leader because her work is what she believes defines her; and Luke feels like he failed both his closest loved ones and the Galaxy at large by helping to create the next generation of Sith, so he opts to make what in his mind is a noble gesture (twisted by feelings of guilt, and being jaded and bitter at this point) and exile himself so that he can't do anymore harm. In his mind, he's not abandoning everyone because he's the source of all this current pain and suffering (or at least that's how be views the situation viewing it through the lens of self-imposed guilt) and they're all better off without him around. No doubt if he'd told anyone this, they would have done their utmost to dissuade him and he's at least intelligent/wise enough to realize that any arguments they might use could have merit which is why he disappears without a word but deep down, he's still a person who wants to be around those he cares about, who wants to believe he can redeem his own perceived flaws and mistakes, so in a fit of contrariness he also leaves a way for someone as resourceful as he believes his friends to be to find him if they really want to. I'm not necessarily saying its right, just that it could be a possible explanation for all of this. The problem one would face though is that conveying all of this would either require a massive amount of explanation/exposition, or a movie all its down; and while that may have been an interesting movie in its own right, it probably wouldn't be a type of Star Wars film that would interest the wider audience and therefore, sadly, wouldn't be considered as viable by a studio just based on the projected numbers. In the end, we can hang all of our possibly lost hopes and dreams on that most lamentable of realities; we see Star Wars as a beloved story, while the people who actually produce the movies see it only as a cash-making franchise of barely tapped potential and base all of their decisions not on what would make a complete story but on what would make the most money at the box office and that hinges on how well a prospective screenwriter and/or director can sell their pitch to the studio.

[@elmsigreen]

That "old ally" wasn't even a Legends character that the nerds would recognize. It was just a new character. WTF!!!

[@stupidmonkey8057]

I am such nerd that was stumped like who tf is this guy haha

[@Deuteromis]

Elmar A. Hannah Yah mean Star Wars fan. Just because someone is a nerd or a geek, doesn't mean the automatically like Star Wars.

[@elmsigreen]

Because we are talking about Star Wars it was obviously implied that I was talking about specifically Star Wars-nerds and not all nerds in general. No need to be so pedantic, dude.

[@TheJiminatorHS]

I thought it might have been like a Kyle Katarn, or someone from Rebels or the Clone Wars (The Ahsoka love interest character... forget his name)

[@elmsigreen]

Lux Bonteri. Yeah, I always thought he would be Fulcrum in Rebels. Making him this ally would have made more sense. Or just any little background character from the Original trilogy (Because he does mention Leia and that he knows her as a princess)

[@wuhugm]

Directors should consult cracked from now on

[@GiubileiFernando]

Then all characters would be transgendered black poor lesbians with a disability.

[@Raynayk]

sounds like my type of movies

[@wuhugm]

Lol these people~

[@ninjapiemae]

I agree with all these changes it would make the movie alot better and connected. but I draw the line at jarjar despite how nice it would be to see him cut down by kylo

[@Oldstalk]

ninjapiemae At last his character made some sense. Kylo don't. He freaking kill the guy that could give him information on the map... but later give up the assault on the cantina n°2 just because Rey saw the map ? Jar jar was just a comic relief, not a great one, but still coherent.

[@DenorrisBanks]

ninjapiemae all aboard the bandwagon.

[@brycenerdstrom567]

I still think they should just release the prequels with new post and editing, and completely redo every Jar Jar scene to change his dialogue and get rid of the prat falls and stuff, and make him more of a Chewie type character. It would literally be less work than a remastered re-release, and it would fix at least 40% of what is bad about the prequels. Also, I assume disney now has all the master recordings of everything. They could fix the terrible "I can't just leave this perfectly good scene alone" editing that ruins whole acts of the films. Can't do much to fix the terrible romance dialogue, but honestly, would anyone care if they just cut a lot of it out entirely and let us just understand that they spend time together and fall in love?

[@HistoricaHungarica]

At least it would make more sence (kylo is easy to anger, jarjar is annoying, so this is why kylo kills jarjar despite needing the map).

[@Atlas-FM8]

ninjapiemae Yeah, I probably would have gone with either Wedge Antilles as the old ally OR its commander Cody (the main Jango clone). It would make sense that this is Cody's attempt at redemption after betraying the Jedi and wiping them out all those years ago.

[@jasperalmoore]

Also, they could have Leia and Chewy NOT casually walk past each other at the end, like they aren't the Wife and best friend of Han.

[@unvergebeneid]

That they didn't make destroying those planets more impactful is the most puzzling thing to me. Just show some character live there, have them chill out at some amazingly idyllic place and explain something like "I've always loved this place, I've come here as a child when I was sad, blah blah blah." Then when that person and this place gets blown up, we realize it's all just an infinitesimal part of the beauty that's lost. Billions more lives and dreams and unique places where vaporized in an instant. _That_ would have meant something.

[@unvergebeneid]

Alternatively, have some character we already know come to a planet, visit some famous artwork or something and give them a line about how legendary it is and how old and that they've always wanted to come here and see it. Again, then we feel a sense of loss for all the uniqueness that's forever lost and it only takes one scene.

[@martinpyka2150]

During my first viewing of the movie, I actually cried on the inside when that planet exploded because I thought it was Coruscant. I am kind of relieved it wasn't but I get why it should have been.

[@mwdfinch76]

He was right on every point. Also, they shouldn't make exploding planets visible from other planets in different systems in real-time. I wouldn't buy that in the third grade. Star Wars fans like space at least a little bit, and that is so dumb I can't even make up a scenario where I can defend it. There is literally no defense for that.

[@tatarigami4064]

What about Lasers/engine/blast sound,and flame in space vaccum ?

[@ThePlumAbides]

"We're gonna be doing it forever." Reminds me of David Mitchell's "Watch the football"

[@shang-hsienyang1284]

You can't kill Jar Jar because he is the ultimate Sith Lord.

[@MrStephenRGilman]

He's Snoke!

[@WalterLiddy]

The Jar Jar idea is dumb, but what about Wedge? Could have been old Wedge instead of 'some guy'.

[@stareyedwitch]

That would have been a cool easter egg.

[@TheInselaffen]

He wouldn't come back. He told Ewan not to be OB1.

[@mglenadel]

Could be one of the ewoks, the one who first meets Leia.

[@ZechsMerquise73]

"I look forward to hearing out of context Luke Skywalker dialogue in the next movie's trailer too" wow, this guy is psychic.

[@MAYOJAMESD]

The r2-rescue mission and subsequent last minute discovery of what star-killer base really is are both now official canon in my mind. Hey Disney, I reject your reality and substitute my own.

[@NooB-Celica]

I originally thought that in the forest where Rey and Kylo were fighting was where Luke would be revealed. I was so disappointed when the lightsaber flew passed Kylo and Rey caught it instead of Luke like I anticipated -___-

[@DocEonChannel]

Star Wars, Star Wars, Star Wars, pew, pew, pew...

[@ed_bouy]

It'd be interesting seeing jar jar in the next movie, assuming his lifespan comes all this way

[@ayethatsaaron]

Who’s watching this with no socks on?

[@skysthelimitvideos]

Eternal Quazar me

[@warmccl]

Eternal Quazar I'm watching with no feet.. 1up....😢

[@soulsemblance3163]

Eternal Quazar i watch this with 1 sock on

[@alexaguero6079]

Soul Semblance i watched this with my dick in a sock

[@CoolDudeProducts]

I'm not... also at work. So that's a bummer.

[@lukemacdermid2246]

"Welcome to Cracked's new regular series!" Ouch.

[@abemrofchak]

I understand that the point would be for Jar-Jar to apologize and be killed but if he had the first line of the new trilogy, everyone would lose their fucking minds and burning down the theater.

[@zanerkindardis8978]

Abe Mrofchak I don't think they would if they saw him get chopped in half

[@diegog1853]

an also, i'm all about seeing a costume bearded jar jar lol

[@satya4234]

Zanes Tanks but then they would rejoice because Jar Jar would be dead. Which would mean we'll never see it again. But if he isn't dead, it's probable that we'll see it later.

[@Snowmirage6453]

Yup one of the best videos you guys have ever done! Watched it twice back to back! Love it

[@TheFalladin]

Sorry for the prequels. We will now remake A new hope.

[@Bigbudd0045]

Force Awakens is still better than the prequels.

[@RM-cn8pw]

That's not what happened.

[@user-fu7zf4ck9z]

fuck no

[@HonestHappyHater]

Bigbudd0045 Well... nope

[@sillysiblingstuff9615]

Too bad my phone screen is too small to get tricked by your avatar

[@JormanganderKhan]

This video did nothing but make me weep for what could have been.

[@MCDexX]

I think it's pretty obvious that Wedge Antilles was supposed to be the one who meets Poe at the start, but the actor who played him said no and had to have a new character written in hurriedly.

[@billybeer55555]

That's exactly what I was thinking the first time I saw it in the theater. Inside, I was jumping up and down screaming WEDGE!!! That being said, Max Von Sydow was in that photo they released of the first script reading, so he was obviously attached all along.

[@PhobosDynami]

Who cares if it's not the original actor, recasts happen all the time. Cast this new guy as Wedge or someone else we like and care about and move on. We will get over a recast.

[@stareyedwitch]

Most people probably wouldn't have noticed. They'd have probably needed Wedge to mention he used to know Luke.

[@katiepayne9819]

Fantastic video! Would love to see more videos like this, just straight pop-culture talk without gimmicks

[@TheGrinch109]

snoke should be jar jar

[@Raynayk]

YES!!! Such a MISSED OPPORTUNITY!

[@mglenadel]

Snoke should have been a shaved (burnt?) Chewbacca, bent on revenge against those pricks who didn't even have the decency of giving him a medal too.

[@petermatthews7299]

This vid is so well presented and written. Loved it. You're the MAN Cody :)

[@AroundTheBest]

I like how Luke Skywalker had to train on multiple planets to have force powers while Rei gets affirmative action force powers without training.

[@PaladinJoshs]

Up with this sort of thing! No boring bagging on a film, just great ideas for where it could have been better that let us enjoy the imagined movie while remembering that we enjoyed the original too. More of this please!

[@ionlyeatbrainsdummy9858]

Cracked is officially the best KZbin channel! It's only gotten better and better! And it's been awesome since day one! Nobody can ever be as good or better from here to the futurest future!

[@newkular]

all of these things. i got chills when he described the base firing unexpectedly

[@mandudepersondudeman]

these are really good points that if I had made a movie and it was critiqued like this, I would take it in and let it inspire me

[@Jeddostotle7]

One thing that I think was a bit of a flaw in The Force Awakens was that they were trying to avoid the problems of the Prequels, which in and of itself is not bad, but they did it a little *too* hard, and completely avoided any mention of politics, which actually detrimented the film a bit because it left the audience a bit in the dark about the situation of the Galaxy at that time. It would have been pretty helpful if they could at least have told us that after Endor, the Empire quickly started declining and dissolving, and the Rebel Alliance became the New Republic, and basically defeated the remnants of the Empire within a year. Then, some of the remnants of the Empire went off to rebuild in the Unknown Regions while the New Republic basically tried to bring everything back to a nice stability again and such, and has its capital rotate every couple of years, with it currently being Hosnian Prime. Some people in the New Republic and its military hear rumors about what those Imperial remnants, the First Order, are doing in the Unknown Regions, and form the Resistance to try to counteract it. They should have given us a bit more of a primer on the state of the Galaxy in the movie. Also, they should have actually indicated in the movie who that woman on Hosnian Prime in that close-up shot of the people watching their imminent destruction was (Korr Sella, General Leia's trusted envoy to the Republic), so we cared more. Maybe with a quick shot where Leia sends her to Hosnian Prime, and somehow displays or mentions her great trust in her, establishing their relationship.

[@cedarparkrangerssc6296]

instead of a resistance they should of been a regular republic army instead of being looking rebels

[@jonathanopperman1124]

I'm liking all the things. And this dude, great delivery on all the things he delivers. Thank you.

[@airjones45]

I thought it would of been cool if Luke used the force to call the lightsaber to him cuts it on and than the scene ends

[@TaiJendamNation]

I haven't seen the film, but you cover everything so hilariously that I feel like I've now seen the best version of it!

[@BeCurieUs]

Man, I reaaaally like that Han stuff, it would have even more impact and be a call back to the orig trig, too, cause he dies like Obi Wan. Jesus this is such a great one I am just going to pretend that is how it actually happened.

[@akicitaa.8233]

These ideas are so spot-on that one way to make this video even more awesome would be for it to have continued for another 20 minutes.

[@blue04mx53]

Well done. The thing I've observed about Star Wars since I saw the first one in the theatre in 1977 is that,. Well, they don't seem to have to be 'great' movies. They just have to be "Star Wars". I'm not sure why that is, but it seems to defy logic and common sense. Here we have a product that isn't great, but is huge in popularity. Even the faults, mistakes, and plain poor quality dialogue seem to make it even more inexplicably attractive to a huge fan base. Hmm. if I could think of a blonde-orange analogy I would mention it here.

[@HannibalHanslaughter]

Star wars is just nostalgic for every generation. We all watched it for the first time with five (everything is awesome when you're five) and when we had grown up the universe itself is far more interesting than the individual stories

[@nickh9424]

Loved the R2 rescue mission and the Jar Jar idea! Keep them coming!

[@veinerschnoozle6776]

No because Jar Jar is Snoke duh

[@h4724-q6j]

The fact that you wanted him to speak so much counts as a success. The silence is perfect.

[@jamierathbone5222]

Jar Jar couldn't of been killed in the beginning because he is darth plagus and will be the greatest threat in the forthcoming films

[@reythejediladyviajakku6078]

I feel a missed opportunity was when Han Solo says “yeah, I knew him. I knew Luke “ he might have mentioned that Luke is his brother in law

[@andruulrich4021]

but Poe is a great pilot because of his connection to the force do to a special tree Luke gave to his mother, and a connection to the force like that wouldn't be a cloneable trait

[@RadioPantsDance]

Andru Ulrich what

[@hanburgundy4317]

Yeah, maybe they should have put that in the movie. As it is, Poe is boring and one-dimensional and the fact that they keep beating it over our heads with "he's da best pilot!" ruins any appreciation for his skills we would have had.

[@MykiiMescal]

I actually knew this

[@KyleBrand]

This reminds me of those re-imaginings of the prequel films. This was well-done and well-thought out.

[@viceb2521]

Am I the only one who didn't think the prequels were horrible, I mean like they weren't amazing but they did a good job telling the story

[@GamesFromSpace]

Yes, you are.

[@dcskaeur]

Prequel fans: They did a good job telling the story. Prequel haters: They did not do a good job telling the story. Oh look what's that? It kinda looks like… differences in viewpoints? Maybe it means something.

[@dogenjinn4806]

Hi, my name is John and I enjoyed the prequels. (Hi, John.) I enjoyed some of the characters. I liked Qui-Gon Jinn, and we were introduced to a mysterious bad guy who later got interesting developement. We saw bad-ass lightsabre duelling by someone other than a handicapped sith, a geriatric jedi, and the vastly under-trained. I recognise that Lucas kinda wrote himself into a corner by dropping so many hints about the past, then having to find a way to incorporate them into a story. I also recognise when good governments fall, it's not exciting to watch. History and current events teach us they fall quietly, and most people don't notice until it's too late. So, I enjoyed them. They had a lot of good points, and not all of the beats that had to get covered were going to be pew pew pew exciting, but were necessary for the plot to progress.

[@theoristocratic1923]

Yea, I too didn't mind the prequels. The story got lost in the effects a lot, but that's Lucas for you. Anyhow, going into the first one, I didn't think it'd be this super riveting movie, on account that it has to set the foundation for what would be eight more movies... so something like that is going to be a lot of exposition. Which I suppose is the case for the prequels in general. Got some cool action scenes though.

[@larssjodahl7660]

Well, most characters in them lack depth. they just go around and say things are important, but you never understand their motivation. Dilemmas in scene after scene don't make ANY Sense (a jedi, Who can Force jump 5 meters, is hanging off a ledge and struggles to get Up. "Isn't it an exciting scene?!!!" Even 5-year olds think that's stupid...) And for ***** sake, the sound of that beast that Obi-wan rides when he chases Gen Grievous; "drink once every time it makes the EXACT SAME SOUND"!

[@ZombraxSullivan]

9:15 Han also could have made some old movie subtle referenceses while explaining the force giving old fans a nod to old past characters and giving a historic feel and better explaining the force to people new to the series

[@jackmendoza5604]

Lor San Tekka is a main part of the Poe Dameron comic book. Same thing for the red c-3p0 hand. I always thought it was a ploy to make more money on comic books and novels.

[@seanbirch]

So what?

[@jackmendoza5604]

It makes it harder for casual watchers to get in on these small side jokes that only die-hards do. The same thing is going on with the new EA Battlefront 2 game. They are releasing a novel about the main character and it goes into her backstory. It would be better if they didn't emphasize 3p0's red arm by giving him dialogue or even giving him a red arm in the first place. Lor San tekka could have been anyone else canonically and it would have made more sense. I didn't know about Lor San Tekka until months after when they released the Poe Dameron #1. I think that The Force Awakens needs a cliff notes with information on all the side-references.

[@JetZV]

10:43 You kind of forgot a detail about the Hosnian bit. That woman in the front DID have a scene with Leia, but it got cut, hence why none of this seems to matter. As for the Finn vs T8-8R fight, that's explained in the pre-film comics. It mentions how Finn was trained in a riot patrol squadron alongside this trooper and the dude that died at the beginning of the film. This is why he is decent at using a lightsaber and why the "Traitor" line had so much importance to it.

[@dtinagliastudios]

Most of this stuff could've been fixed if you even dipped your toes into the lore.

[@EurrikkeEdward]

uhhh no?

[@openaardvark419]

This is how to make it a better movie story

[@kolkeet]

Yeah like the part where luke is a mute

[@RobinaFerd]

You shouldn't have to.

[@diegog1853]

lol so i guess they should apply you a star wars lore exam before entering the movie theater, so that you can understand the film

[@darthratz]

I can't wait for more of these! Talking about Star Wars

[@cormoranch1539]

Traitor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@softwareminimalist]

I am rewriting my memories of the movie with your ideas

[@timrobinson513]

Two anyone who loves Star Wars. Watch the video "what if episode one was good" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You will thank me.

[@timrobinson513]

As good at the film was, I did think the story was rushed with plot holes, missed opportunities etc. It wouldn't have taken much to iron them out.

[@bmauger]

"What if Episode II were good" is probably the best Star Wars story ever told. I'm going to go rewatch that trilogy right now. Cracked had some good tweaks and critiques for FTA, but Belated Media knew how to fix a flop.

[@timrobinson513]

Ooh well I'm sticking with number one myself. Yea I think I saw the Cracked vid. Again how can these people come up with so many great ideas but the film makers fall short?

[@satya4234]

Thanks, you made me excited about a Star Wars movie I'll never get to see because instead of the great plot you present in this video we got "A new hope vol.2".

[@V.IV.Rusty.]

Get rid of Rey.

[@benvoliothefirst]

I saved my "like" until "Oridge Tridge"... you earned it, Cody.

[@kagitsune]

The last bit about making the super death star a big reveal would have been so badass.

[@ariksanderstuckwisch1604]

I expected to disagree with about half of these, but they all actually sounded pretty good. Nicely done.

[@georgiastone457]

from tumblr: "The best explanation I’ve heard so far for why R2 only woke up at the end, is that he actually does start booting up when BB8 first finds him; he just has to get through 10 years worth of updates before that."

[@figrindantatooine]

@ 3:35 What if the old ally was Wedge, Ackbar or yes...JarJar? That woulda made that moment better and his death more emotional. @ 5:20 It shoulda been Finn has the Force and he also just witnessed the death of his only friend in that platoon. Kylo would feel the disturbance in the Force but wait and see what comes next before acting on it. Finn escaping with Poe coulda been part of Kylo's plan to use Finn to find the missing map. @ 6:10 Kill Poe or have him join Finn on the long walk to the city or have it a simple random pilot and intro Poe later and build a friendship between Finn and Poe in the next film. Picture Finn and Poe going to the casino instead or Rode with Finn. The Poe is a clone also works. @ 8:00 Han shoulda been just like you said and not separated from Leia. @ 9:16 No Star Killer Base or Death Star type laser killing any planets. Keep the First Order smaller and still trying to grow more powerful. Also, Han and Finn can see the worlds be destroyed just by looking up? If you could see 5 planet blow up that close then the world you are on is doomed too. A planet blowing up would send parts of it flying far into space. If Mars blew up and we could see in, it's a safe bet we would be hit by parts of it or we would be affected by the shock wave and other things. @11:07 It should be Phasma Vs Finn and Finn slices off her hand like all Star Wars films have somebody loss a limb. Extra things... Han doesn't die, he flies off into the sunset with Leia on the Falcon. Also. Kylo is his actual name, not Ben Solo. He is not Han's son. He is Luke's best student who became obsessed with the Dark Side. Have Rey be Luke's daughter and he put her in hiding on a not desert world after Kylo turned on Luke. @ 13:31 The ground splits open and it's a super laser and it fires? everything within 50 miles would flash burn in seconds including Kylo and Finn. That beam would be so hot and large that nothing by it would be safe, it would all get cooked. Have it a Super Star Destroyer drop out of Hyper Space and it has the super laser which fires and devastates half of a planet, Endor. Then it jumps back into Hyper Space, Where is it going to attack next? Then the next movie has Try find Luke and he trains her and Finn. Or at the least, have Luke catch the saber and defeat and kill Kylo, since Kylo should be Luke's fallen apprentice and not related to Skywalker.

[@digitalanalogmachine1720]

Starkiller Base should've been Centerpoint Station (starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Centerpoint_Station). Would've been a nice shout out to the Extended Universe folks, and we wouldn't have had *another* frakkin' Death Star.

[@orpheus..]

BRILLIANT. Simply freakin' brilliant. Every one of those points had the real potential to make TFA infinitely better! Outstanding job, Cracked team. Kudos.

[@Alfareon]

First words out of Luke's mouth are: "Did ya miss me, Bats!?" WHAT A TWIST

[@Poppacap79]

Great ideas. Also, I've been listening to ska nonstop. Double thanks!

[@merchantfan]

I think in Star Wars it's usually been shown (in the extended universe sigh because they never really bothered to discuss them much in movies) that their clones either have shortened lifespans or have a tendency to go crazy. Also the last group of clones that were mass produced murdered most of the Jedi. So probably not something the Rebels/Alliance would use (at least the ones that Leia would side with).

[@magicringgirl]

wow that was awesome! I felt like something felt off about this movie and I thought I was the only one! thanks for fixing it!

[@ValirAmaril]

Fck yeah, Kylo Ren chopping off Jar Jars eyes would have been the best opening scene ever

[@williamozier918]

I wanna play along with your rescue R2 plot: In the opening battle scene the 'Old Ally' is Wedge Antilles. Finn is a clone. Po and Finn escape and crash on Jaku. Po is killed. Finn and BB8 find Rey. They find the Millenium Falcon. Rey and Finn use the Falcon to escape. On board the Falcon they find a powered down astromech droid, amongst all the other stuff. They hit the hyperdrive and just go to the ships last location, Maz Kanatas place. When they walk in they get the Animal House treatment as the music stops and everyone looks at them, awkward silence, then the music starts back up. Some fish outta water whacky bar hijinks ensue....until. The door slams open, silheoutting a pissed off scruffy looking nerf herder and an immense walking carpet brandishing a cross bow. Basically we frame Han and Chewie as bad guy threats to Rey and Finn. Through alot of exposition and snappy dialogue we learn that Luke not only dissapeared, he stole the Falcon when he did it, and no one has seen Luke, R2 or the Falcon since. Han and Chewie ad set out to find Luke but had given up and gone back to smuggling, but they always operated out of Maz Kanatas place. Han and Chewie get on board and see R2, but can;t activate him. So they decide to take R2 back to the Resistance. Instead of Starkiller Base it's the Galaxy Gun (from the Darkhorse Dark Empire II series). They blow up Coruscant. Leia is able to activate R2 however R2 acknowledges Rey as his master wit orders to bring her to Luke. However we learn that from a private conversation between 3PO and R2, that R2 in fact does not ave orders to bring Rey to Luke, but is deciding to do so of is own volition. Then we get the silent balmy island ending.

[@sparkpenguin]

"but i dunno, talkin about star wars is fun. ... we're gonna be doin it forever." this + some news? MORE CODY ALL DAY.

[@dxmage5412]

Darth Jar Jar doesn't reveal himself till Snoke with his final breath begs his master Darth Jar Jar to save him.

[@AmaraJordanMusic]

Who knew "Pew, pew, pew, Star Wars, Star Wars, Star Wars," would be that entertaining on top of montages and sped up footage? 😂

[@drasher25]

I am going to convince myself I actually saw the film you describe instead. I love these ideas.

[@dashiellbenson6221]

No one said Mace Windu is dead, he probably died, but it isn't guaranteed

[@CPKerney]

Poe being a clone was my first thought when he came back. I like the Jar Jar bit too.

[@michael_bullard]

I can't wait to see Star Wars The Missed Opportunities this winter.

[@MillzBC]

some great points! im def looking forward to this New series

[@grrandram]

I can't wait for your video about "The Last Jedi" and how it continues where "The Force Awakens" left off.

[@notaword1136]

well the canon jar jar blinks during the original trilogy is he became a space clown for children's parties

[@j.d.3597]

Is this ACTUALLY gonna be a new series because if they all are this good I am SO in!

[@catalinaplaza7909]

I'll add this to my "take a shot something incredible convenient happen" drinking game

[@mverboten]

Cody is Cracked Lewis Black. Lean into the rant Cody... feel it's power

[@Jlerpy]

I really hope there isn't an even (EVEN) bigger superweapon, and that they just do something else with the movies from here on.

[@HeroesOnSet]

Dude f-ing nailed it. Come on Star Wars, you have one job.

[@brendanurke9193]

Great video with great ideas!

[@SolStains]

Thank you, made me smile :)

[@Nutterific]

that re-worked ending is brilliant. I demand a re-cut of TFA

[@mythman30]

in the books they mention that the stormtroopers are trained in squads of 4. the dude that dies at the beginning is finn's squad mate named nines that he's been friends with and protected since he was a baby and the guy that fights him with the cool energy baton was another guy from his squad named zeroes that assumed finn ran away because he was responsible for nines death. its a really interesting plotline that they never actually explain in the movie.

[@LupineShadowOmega]

Cliffhanger: Luke says: "No. Why are *you* here?" Cut to credits.