I Feel Like Cracking (Why We Hurt So Bad After A Breakup)

I feel like cracking. How do we survive a breakup? Breakups can be incredibly stressful and difficult times in our lives. It is normal to feel depressed, anxious, scared and overwhelmed by our emotions. Sometimes we feel like we are on the verge of an emotional breaking point. In this video Craig talks how this is often directly related to attachment trauma and gives some helpful things to do to survive.
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[@CoachCraigKenneth]

Hey everyone, I've been ridiculously busy. Got some fun stuff coming up on my Instagram very soon so add me @CoachCraigKenneth. I am about 95 percent done with The Knowledge Elite Series Volumes 6-10. It has been a massive project. You guys are going to love them!!! No you don't need to do 1-5 first, but you should!

[@dominikawitynska3001]

Craig, can you make a video about toxic parents? My fiance dumped me because he's emotionally dependant on his parents and they wanted him for themselves and did everything to prevent the wedding.We were constantly fighting because they would always attack me and he never stood up for me. They mamaged to convince him that I'm a bad person for him and in general...

[@marbelz.p6018]

Many thanks, I've been looking for "i broke up with my boyfriend and i miss him" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever come across - Pefflan Telepathic Paramountcy - (search on google ) ? It is a good one of a kind product for discovering how to discovering a simple technique to get your ex back minus the normal expense. Ive heard some incredible things about it and my cousin got excellent results with it.

[@a.brown_2518]

Your videos honestly saved me. I had a very difficult time over the summer following a rejection from someone I loved (not a break up because we were never a couple, but we were friends and did end up being intimate together and I thought he felt the same way - turns out he didn't). I have never felt a pain like it. I was obsessed, devoted. Every thought I had for months revolved around him. When I cut contact I would stay up all night thinking about him, weeping and despairing. It became an unhealthy thought pattern. The whole experience, and watching your videos, made me re-evaluate my life and consider my attachment style. Realised that I definitely have an anxious attachment style! And because of your videos I understand where that comes from (childhood and parent issues). I am now in therapy and talking to someone about it regularly. Fast forward 7-8 months and, thanks to you and Margaret, I'm doing much better! Not perfectly, but better. It's a step in the right direction. I decided not to date for a while and focus on what's really important - getting my degree, building my CV, friendship and family and travelling. I'm only 24 and realised I don't want to put my whole life on hold because of unrequited love ever again. If one day someone wants to date me and I feel the same, then great. But right now the focus is entirely on other things. My approach to dating before became unhealthy, incredibly anxious and obsessive and you made me realise that. THANK YOU to you and Margaret for all that you do. Watching you from Scotland every day (sometimes listen while I sleep also). Maybe one day I will have an e-mail or skype session with you. For now, though, love watching :)

[@DenTn30]

Can i just say that 2 months ago, my ex broke up with me because "he needs space to work on himself" and to work out his depression and BPD. I was at my lowest point in my life. I couldn't get out of the bed. I ate less. I even begged and pleaded!! (and yes even gave hin a handwritten letter) But i stopped once i discovered your channel coach craig! I started to listen to your videos everyday even on my commute to work. I felt SOO MUCH BETTER. ❤ i started to realize more things about our relationship. And while i was in no contact, he started reaching out and he was angry that i was not as attentive to him like before but i realized that i don't want him back and i just miss the good times. It's a huge turn since i originally started to watch "how to get him back" videos of yours but now, i watch videos about self improvement. I learned my lessons. I won't ever lose myself just to keep a person who won't stay! ❤❤❤ thank u craig and margaret! I hope all of those watching this video will find their clarity and peace of mind ❤

[@sula1529]

bravo 💓

[@strongertogetherfitness193]

Denisse Shawntel Tan you are an inspiration.. reading what you wrote and how you realized what you needed to do. That inspires me .. thank you

[@DenTn30]

@@strongertogetherfitness193 i hope you get through the pain and come out as a better and stronger person ❤

[@sshuteandrew]

👏👏👏💗

[@ducktoes]

Wow. That's a powerful statement. Thanks. Denise Shawntel Tan.

[@LaBellaJuliette]

I am sooo grateful for this video Coach Craig!! Thank you for your time and dedication to your channel ❤️ You are making a difference one video at a time and one person at a time 🙏🏻❤️ You truly helped me feel seen and heard. Thank you again… ❤

[@corleonecorleone9148]

I've cried more the last few days, than I have my whole life. She broke it off the end of October, not sure why I am having a delayed reaction to the breakup. Night terrors are the worst....this pain is unbearable

[@ducktoes]

I know how you feel. I agree, the pain is horrible. I watched these videos over and over and that helped. It will get better.

[@corleonecorleone9148]

Thank you @@ducktoes

[@sshuteandrew]

Nights are hard- holidays are extremely hard. You’re not alone. We’re all in this place. You’ll feel better in time. 😞

[@Muscle_Chan]

I had some serious night terrors during my breakup too. The worst part was they were all the exact same scenario. I chased after my ex, found her somewhere. Went to talk to her and she vanished. I don't really know how to solve it. Mine went away when my condition improved and I got on antidepressants. Although talking about it is always a tried and true method when it comes to stuff like this. Stay strong and catch some z's even if you gotta knock yourself out my man. Don't let sleep depravity get you during a depression.

[@yeoitscori3618]

After 4 months of no contact I thought I have been alright healing n working on myself... Today I saw his Instagram.... He changed his profile and now his profile is private to me. I can see nothing anymore. I wanna die.... Is this the answer. I collapsed n broke down.... I can't do this

[@springfauna1465]

I know very well about the feeling of the hole in your chest because mine was so bad I almost took my life! I used to describe it as having no skin either and the wind is blowing sand on you. Just horrendous!!! By the grace of God I survived though and the breakup I'm going through now isn't even close to what that was. Maybe because I did a lot work on myself and I understand things better now. Would still love to read your books!! I love that you went to Margaret with your own breakup because I think she's pretty special and always enjoy when she's with you in your videos. Anyway, thanks Coach Craig. Always a pleasure to learn more from you!

[@Ren08520]

Been over a year since the break up; one year of no contact next month. He left me for someone else/is still with his rebound. Still hurts from time to time, like today. We were together for over a year and I'd known him for 3 years. Went through his drug relapse and depression/suicide attempt with him and stopped him. My nightmares have been coming back and his friends are always stopping by my work place and it can be a lot. Thanks for this video. I was really upset and missing him right before I watched this. Much love and peace 💞

[@austino1114]

C.J. Baloy you are very strong. You gave it your all be proud of that. You’re a fighter and on the anniversary of things feelings come back it’s normal. You’ve already made it!

[@Ren08520]

@@austino1114 Thanks so much for the reply. :) It was very uplifting. The anniversary of the break up was actually in late August. It happened suddenly and he basically lined up the girl beforehand. He started hanging out with her just weeks before the break up and said it wasn't her and barely knows her....they start dating two months after the break up and move in together, in a different state completely where they know no one just 6 months in. What triggers the memories are the holidays and the winter weather. He relapsed with his drug addiction in November 3 years ago and it was the hardest few months to be a supportive advocate in his life. I've had nights when I'd wait by the phone to make sure he didn't overdose and one night in particular, I actually had to stop him from overdosing and tried to take him into the ER, but he refused so I had to calm him down and stop him while in my car for three hours. I've been oserved for PTSD in the last year since the break up as it caused me to go into a deep, deep depression and was hospitalized twice-- they asked me about my entire history with him and yeah, there were so many nights I didn't know if he'd die or not, but I stayed around because everyone else left. this was when we were just friends, btw. He knew I had been in the hospital for my depression, but never cared cause he was with the other girl already. After I did no contact after a couple months of chasing, he started showing up at work and it would trigger everything and I'd break down. Luckily, I've rebuilt myself and have done so much since they left. I knew the girl he left me for because she and I worked together for a period of 6 months and knew I was with him. It was horrible. I'm so glad I've become someone so much wiser, brighter, and happier. I know myself now more than before and can't wait for the rest of me to come with. Im sure when they're back for the holidays, I will be able to remain strong if I were to run into them.

[@foofy3406]

this time of year esp sucks. but the “listen as you sleep” vids literally saved my life. please add more. thank you

[@jmoody546]

I feel like dying I’m not even gonna lie waking up everyday knowing his not by my side :( I just can’t live this life anymore I’m just so lost with out him :(

[@Walteramirez]

junesdairyVevo hugs

[@ameerahrashada4515]

junesdairyVevo please talk to someone no one is worth your life it will get better just listen to these videos and find someone to talk to

[@A.T.0s]

junesdairyVevo I think u need to focus on urself and not rely on him for ur happiness, this will get u nowhere as it’s coming off as codependency, stay the course on ur self :)

[@jmoody546]

Thanks 🙏🏾

[@ducktoes]

Hang in there... many of us feel like that too. Watch the videos and start self improvement. It will get better.

[@Walteramirez]

Thank you Craig. I’ve been so stubborn, I put “see a therapist” on my to do list. Wish I lived in Orlando so it could be you.

[@Jason_wears_stuff]

such an eye opening video for me coach , especially because my dad and I aren't talking right now and i came to realize alot of the issues in my life stem from my relationships with him , exactly what i needed to see.

[@alexveitch2965]

My ex and I got back together in August and things were good. After splitting up in March I worked on myself and changed my life around. She recognised this and couldn't believe the change in me. Things were going well until Her dad's 1st anniversary of his death in October and after that she became unhappy and low. She finished things with me again because she said she was unhappy in life in general and hadn't felt like she had even begun to grieve the loss of her dad. She said that I had come so far and deserved to be with someone who would make me happy. She said that she can't make me happy and needs to work on getting herself to a better happier place. She said it's nothing I've done and I should be proud of how far I've come. This just feels like a low blow to me. To come so far and make such positive changes to still not be with the one I love I feel completely broken :(

[@bilwmedia]

Alex Veitch how are things now?

[@SR0490]

Update?

[@ragingphoinix9144]

Probably won't check this but in that moment, she was loving you in the best way possible. She recognized she wasn't going to be able to give you the best she could and instead of pulling you down, she let you go. Sometimes, that's the best we can do.

[@egreen9129]

Thank for doing this video. Your videos have opened my eyes to my attachment styles and insecurities. Thank you for advising people to use their insurance if they have it. You’re paying for it, so you might as well use it. I am! 🙋🏾‍♀️

[@carlfreiermuth5424]

I felt an emptiness in my chest where my heart should be right after my ex broke the news to me.. The next morning it felt much worse, it felt like a cold hole in my chest.. I felt like it was impossible for me to still be alive. I believe that feeling only lasted during that morning, but I do remember feeling like I could not eat or sleep for days.. ok sleep was messed up for probably a few months for me.. out of desperation to save the relationship.. I started listening to online relationship coach advice.. maybe one year later I found the channel here and after much.. now I can see that most of the relationship coaches mean well but they are teaching manipulation strategies.. I will never be the same.

[@wingrance779]

bed is my best friend

[@blackterminal]

Anxiety means bed is no comfort to me.

[@wingrance779]

@@blackterminal it is, I am at my 6 week of No Contact, Christmas is coming up

[@blackterminal]

@@wingrance779 Christmas alone isn't Christmas its just pain.

[@wingrance779]

@@blackterminal i hear ya! But it's simply a process i have to go through. I trust that soon enough it will get easier.

[@Buddy_7522]

Black Terminal agree

[@yeoitscori3618]

After 4 months of no contact I thought I have been alright healing n working on myself... Today I saw his Instagram.... He changed his profile and now his profile is private to me. I can see nothing anymore. I wanna die.... Is this the answer. I collapsed n broke down.... I can't do this

[@op2001]

Coach thank you for sharing the story about your dad. I know that can be a hard thing to talk about.

[@nunya257]

12:55 Video begins...everything before is basically advertising

[@BBD1]

Damm it's actually kinda true

[@gabrielrosado2026]

My wife moved out with her best friend and they've been living together since May. She was the one who cheated. I've had some mistakes of letting my emotions and logic out when we have a phone conversation or contact(which was also bad to let that happen). But since then she would randomly text how I'm doing. Never responded to those because I wasn't ready. She called, didn't pick up. Fast forward last month she asked for a favor to fix a hole in the apartment she lives in, on the third floor for her landlord. Didn't buy it. I said no thank you. Last Friday she texted how are you doing and I responded on Sunday, since I was spending time with my daughter. And no response yet. She did wish me a happy birthday and happy Thanksgiving. Didn't respond to the birthday and neither I did for hers. All in all. I am in love with her. She broke up with me. She is younger by 8 years. I'm 29. I know there are more women out there. Currently I'm in a place of Zen. Where I used to be before her and the mother of my child. Where I was in tuned with myself and it's amazing letting myself go. But I've noticed her mother had a lot of influence in her life decisions than she realizes. So I had to let go. And let her figure it out. That is if she wants to. This Christmas, for us as a whole, definitely be with family and friends. Seriously. Do what you need to get done for yourselves.

[@kathystradley8510]

Broke up 10 weeks ago. Can’t shake this sick and sad feeling. The dreams are horrible.

[@austino1114]

Kathy Stradley you will make it. You have no other choice but to make it. It’s normal to be sad and sick. You need to realize that you only feel this way because you cared. That’s ok but you are more important start caring about yourself. One day you’ll be tired of feeling this way.

[@Muscle_Chan]

The nightmares really messed me up too. The only thing I can recommend is talking about it to someone. I'm more than happy to hear what you have to say if you want to talk about them with me.

[@Nolaperu]

I know this is not a breakup question but can you talk about when somebody constantly puts up selfies on their profile? I think it's an underlying psychological problem, and I think it can ruin someone chances of finding a quality partner. Correct me if I'm wrong.

[@global2765]

I think you're right. A selfie now and then is all good but too often is desperate for attention... at least my opinion.

[@Danash2013]

Are all the profile selfies similar?

[@sshuteandrew]

It’s a turn off to me. Attention seeking behavior.

[@danielmarkle2223]

Hi coach Craig, I've been watching your videos now for about a week and I'm hooked. I've recently gone through a pretty devastating breakup and your videos have been very empowering. I moved out of the house a week and a half ago and we argued by text pretty badly. I said things that were true and some that were not. I let my emotions take control because I didn't know how to control them. After a few days of calming down I sent an apology text and went no contact. A week later she reached out to me but not in a good way. She was very mean and hurtful. I think maybe to get an arousal out of me to justify her decision and actions. I have been watching your videos about no contact and have not come across one about what to do or say when an ex reaches out in a negative manner. Could you please do a video on this topic?? If not could you give me some advice on what to do?? If you would like to hear my full stories and maybe use it In the video i would be more than willing to share it in Hope's that it may help someone in my similar situation. I look forward to hearing from you and will continue to watch your videos and striving for the best version of myself Daniel

[@martina_xoxo]

I’m in no contact because my ex didn’t even talk to me. At school, he was just looking in my eyes. Never said hi. Today he did. I didn’t answered because i was shooked. But it is his turn to chase me if he wants me. I begged and pleaded, tried many times. No more efford from me. I can live without him at all.

[@AlexandraRuizMartinez30]

I feel you! keep working on yourself! if he doesnt see the value in you, a better man will do!

[@austino1114]

You will be ok. You are young still. I assure you that you will completely forget about this guy. Be strong do not show any emotions or talk to him at all. Be a ghost and treat him like one.

[@martina_xoxo]

Austin O i still have feelings for him. He was my first love, first kiss. It so difficult.

[@lawschoolpro]

This made me cry because this is so what’s dealing with. It’s not a breakup it’s bad t breakups with loved ones

[@blitzfire-417]

Hi coach Craig. My girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me because she was thinking about moving back to her home state to be around family. We lived together for 6 months and had a great relationship. Can you do a video that covers dating a partner that’s from another state and how it could affect the relationship and if there is any hope of getting back together in this type of situation. Thank you for the videos. They have been a major help while going through my break up.

[@valerieschiener5234]

Hi , I can’t find any advice about a boyfriend ( mine over 3 yrs) going through a some what of a mid- life crisis and leaving me saying he’s confused and this is a break up, not a break. In my case, he just turned 48, a old high school girl reached out to him and he was planning on giving me a ring for this Christmas! Then I was blind sided with a break up and I still really never got a good reason!! He says he still loves me. To my knowledge he is not with that particular school girl. He seems like a different person all of a sudden! We have had a fun, loving relationship the whole time! He even agreed. Now I’m the one confused and completely heart broken!! Completely! The only thing I can think of is a mid life thing. Please help.... if anything, I need to receive peace. ♥️ PS..... I even asked him to lie to me and say he doesn’t love me anymore..... so I can at least move on for a reason of substance! He gave me excuses like I dont get enough sleep, I don’t ask my dad for help when needed and he doesn’t agree with me parenting skills with my daughter ( who is now 18 and going to college soon)! These are a few of his non-sense excuses 🙄 !! Unbelievably, I do still love him and miss him so much!

[@vellyjohaness2126]

Coach crack can i ask u a question i did my woman decided to gve me some space aftr i decided to end things up because when we fight always she goes home and gve me some space i regret the fact that i said its over bcz i was mad at her for gvin me space

[@blackterminal]

Personally I haven't managed no contact. I get the no contact given to me. Do you guys get the shakes? When I feel really lonely I am shaking.

[@austino1114]

Black Terminal yes I do/did. For the first month it was really bad. The thing is you’ll get through this. It will get better. You gotta be strong and go no contact. If you want your ex back it’s the only way to go. You have no other choice. Take pride in knowing you did what you could do but trying to communicate with your ex is making it way worse for the both of you. Go no contact and do not reach out again if you need someone to talk to message me.

[@blackterminal]

@@austino1114 Kind of you.

[@topkat8268]

My parents were in a car accident when my mother was 8 months pregnant with me. When l was born , l was rushed to another hospital due to complications. I don't feel that l ever really attached to my mother. I had to have surgery at age 2. I do not remember ANYTHING of this situation only what l have been told. I always had a anxious attachment style, and became jealous & insecure. All my relationships with men failed after a few years. I never got married or had children. My last relationship was with a narcissist who l had 5 year relationship & was then discarded, as he has avoidance attachment style. Its been 4 months & lm still devistated.

[@sshuteandrew]

Topkat Since you’re very much self-aware, which is half the battle, can you try working on the anxious attachment wounds?

[@topkat8268]

@@sshuteandrew I had no idea until recently that l had this. Being in a relationship with a narcissist for 5 years brought this all out to me. It made me so insecure & l just kept holding onto hope that it would get better because in the beginning the relationship was wonderful. He is a pathological liar.

[@fruithat2756]

Dude ever since she broke up with me 2 months everything had gone hill I failed my radiology school program by .4 points I am trying to appeal but I doubt itll work need help

[@tnt01]

try again. It's ok, keep going!!!

[@fruithat2756]

@@tnt01 do you have any experience with this

[@tnt01]

@@fruithat2756 Yes. It happened to me. Try again. Take another course, or take another test. You will eventually graduate. :)

[@fruithat2756]

@@tnt01 I am kinda interested was it a medical program to did you expierence problems personally that affected it. When the director denied your claims did the dean help

[@tnt01]

@@fruithat2756 Do not let another person that hurt you ruin your school work. Always put yourself first. Good luck.

[@Floyderious]

This is great thanks!

[@wildinourways]

Hi coach, would you be willing to do some videos on when you find yourself being discarded by a female narcissist? I am recently experiencing this situation. From the best I can tell on my own research she was indeed a female narcissist. Obviously, I have been beyond devastated, in unbearable pain, completely confused as I try to make sense of this which only seems to make my thoughts worse and more confusing. Would be interested in learning more on whether this is true what I believe or not. Thank you for your time!

[@Muscle_Chan]

Absolutely 100%agree with you. I desperately hope that Craig will make a video about being discarded. I can say from personal experience that this situation in particular is one of the worst things that can happen to you and it is deadly. If you ever want to talk about it hit me up man. We gotta stick together through this.

[@wildinourways]

Jack Swallows likewise man! It is a loving nightmare for sure. I’m sorry you have experienced this. Wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

[@gavindxb6969]

I've messaged you on twitter, Instagram and emailed you, weeks ago. I want to buy the knowledge but your website won't let me because I live in the UAE....

[@danielvanvliet2]

coach, im 16 and would love your vision om my situation but cant afford the skype or e-mail session. what can i do?

[@christiancarr8566]

Same situation

[@austino1114]

Your 16 trust me I’m 22 things will get better. At your age the best thing you can do is act like you don’t care and hit the gym. Dude being so young you will be fine. Let me know if you need some advice.

[@danielvanvliet2]

@@austino1114 thanks man! I hit the gym 5-6 times per week so thats fine, it's just that I'm in no contact an that i see her on a daily basis in school... that messes with me. She sends mixed mesages but idk what to do about it..

[@austino1114]

Daniel Davis this is what you do. Keep going to the gym become the coolest and best guy you can be. Enjoy your life while your in school. Don’t get caught up on one girl like this. I know you can’t help it my first love broke my heart at 16 for another guy. I got her back 2 years later and broke up with her 2 months after getting her back. If you really wanna be with her which I’m sure you do just act like you don’t care. DO NOT GET EMOTIONAL NEAR HER AT ALL. IF SHE WANTS YOU SHE WILL LET YOU KNOW ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. I guarantee once your feelings change for this girl she will be back. It’s extremely scary I’m dealing with my gf of 3 years leaving me to. Fix the mistakes you made with her but don’t contact her at all. Don’t look at her don’t do anything. Brutally honest with you at 16 your relationship had a 99.9% chance of failing. You don’t see that now. You’ll be glad you dealt with it now rather than later. Get you another girl works 100% of the time.

[@austino1114]

christian carr you’ll be ok bro. I promise you, you will be okay.

[@re1ko]

would you send an apoligization txt because I feel bad on my last actions on why she ended it and feel i should at least apoligize before NC even tho i'm 1 week into NC, because she usually would txt me every lunch or day and she didnt, I assumed stuff and creeped her fb because she was ignoring me all day even tho she was on fb and then asked questions like if she was talking to someone else and who were these new guys liking her pics, I feel like if I need to apoligize for being insecure because I acted out of emotions it would clear my mind, or just continue NC, btw were both haver confidance issues and all for nothing :(

[@mitzimayhew4799]

No. You’re kidding yourself. You want to reach out and you’re using an apology as the excuse. It won’t do any good right now anyway. Craig talks about this in some of his videos. Keep NC.

[@austino1114]

Do not reach out to her. It will make things worse. Only time can make her forgive you. Saying sorry will not make that happen. Let her relax and let her guard down. If she misses you she’ll text you. It will be ok.

[@sunflower4418]

So do second chances really work in a relationship

[@kathystradley8510]

Elizabeth bell no

[@austino1114]

Sometimes but it has to be a large amount of time between breakups for all negative feelings to go away. 6 months and up. Plus there has to be change.

[@sshuteandrew]

Yes, depending on circumstances. Of course they can. Failure is the best teacher!!

[@foofy3406]

how am i here, in this place, AGAIN??

[@foofy3406]

no, same situation. but i can find no core childhood correlation at all.

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

Do a Skype with Margaret

[@devrajchangkakati4994]

I have a imp exam in a month and I am depressed as FUCKKK