Millionaire Tries To Make A Bond Film - Its Unintentionally Hilarious!

[@crappyfilmfans]

This one took around 40 hours to de-code, write and edit - this master piece of... Please show the video some love and share it. Heres more of the same roasts of the worst movies/shows: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aYnNiquAfctsf6Msi=JK7v0WoedYUy5nIo Crappy x

[@stellviahohenheim]

Good job guy, just ignore the haters they're probably writing comments on the ipads their parents gave them

[@crappyfilmfans]

thank you broski, i love the odd hater, gives me more trolling time :)

[@ANDunn-tf6xp]

This story is about my life 😮 I am the perfect man with classy hats and women find me irresistible...I topple guv'ments with my stare and make terrorists into pacifists with one blink of my eye

[@fwdcnorac8574]

@@stellviahohenheim It still feeds the algorithm. Let them.

[@ricardolorrio8228]

even the Irish hated it....

[@botz77]

You can't do a line like "Bless me Father for I have sinned, and I'm about to sin again." and not have him immediately kill the priest. So lame.

[@crappyfilmfans]

Deffo woulda been better if he kicked the priest off a cliff

[@philhahn]

its chekovs confession

[@Wfalen]

Only thing this movie lacks, is Flatley coming up with a completely new martial art based on tap dancing that makes him the greatest fighter on earth.

[@crappyfilmfans]

That’s in the second one

[@Keth417]

What?There's no dancing? I'm out!

[@crappyfilmfans]

@@Keth417 Me too!

[@shuboy05]

Sadly Michael has completely retired from dancing due to health problems. Which sadly means no dance battle with Eric Roberts.....

[@Huly241072]

He should do a remake of Gymkata but with tap

[@enigmadrath1780]

"Bless me father for I have sinned ....... and am about to sin again." The fact that he didn't immediately follow that up by punching the priest is the real sin. Couldn't even give me that, movie??

[@crappyfilmfans]

Now that would be badass especially if he followed it up with a 300 style drop kick. But no the priest just ushers him away

[@c.a.sahlin7836]

Had captions on while watching and got the line "Bless me father for I have sinned ... and I'm about to sing again", which added a nice twist.

[@helvete_ingres4717]

you cannot deny - that is a badass line

[@RuailleBuaille]

​@@crappyfilmfans if you're looking for a movie with action more along those lines, there's another awful one made by another Irish "celeb" back in the 90s 😂 Don't know if you've ever heard of Boyzone, but one of the band members stars on a film called "Fatal Deviation" about... ninja monks in Ireland? Another wojus movie, in the so bad it's almost good category.

[@luzmaria5006]

That line is line to when you will kill someone. If he killed the priest it would be quite a badass line but he TED talk the priest LOL

[@garrick3727]

In Flately's defence, in western Ireland we don't need clouds for rain. It just rains when it feels like it, usually every five minutes.

[@crappyfilmfans]

Haha fair play, most accurate part of the movie then

[@mypalfootfoot9591]

@@crappyfilmfans maybe but not the part where the rain falls only where he's walking!

[@tbuckley2031]

I’ve seen footage and it’s kinda creepy like yall got cursed or something

[@daveinpublic]

Same, I’ve seen that type of partial sky partial rain thing but not in Ireland

[@gamingweasel4633]

@@mypalfootfoot9591 They obviously used a lawn-sprinkler for that scene. Just ONE sprinkler.

[@shivalishankersharma1562]

Finally, someone who can give Seagal some competition

[@crappyfilmfans]

Long awaited!

[@patriklindholm7576]

Perhaps they could produce a movie together, script and all.

[@hafirenggayuda]

Eh, Flateley is not as perverted or scummy as Seagal, at least like shown in this movie.

[@Mintylight]

The women in this guys films seem to be over 16 though, so, you know...

[@fuqupal]

Hahahaha! Nah! That's impossible!

[@burningdaylights]

"Flatley, my dear, I don't river dance!" --Alan Partridge

[@jaspertickler1831]

brilliant!

[@ZER0--]

That was text book...

[@nissekram]

😆

[@leewright1]

Lovely stuff.

[@paulkingMotion]

Yeah, here in Ireland, it's pretty well known that Michael Flately's ego is so big, it almost makes Bono look level headed.

[@crappyfilmfans]

Damn, imagine him and Bono in a lift

[@paulkingdesign5928]

​@@crappyfilmfans😂😂

[@razor6552]

I propose an Irish flag with a large Flatley and Bono on it and a very small St Patrick

[@razor6552]

​@@crappyfilmfans "I am the greatest that's ever been!" "Who are you again?" "I'll do you for that!" "Go ahead, if ya can"

[@paulkingdesign5928]

@@razor6552 😂😂

[@davidtatro7457]

Fun video! Let's give Eric Roberts some props here. The man knows what his life has been. He knows he had a shot at being an A-lister and ruined it. And now he's gotten himself together and happily gives his all to every one of the hundred or so two-bit, sleazy villains he plays every year, without irony. No matter how bad the script. He's a hard-working guy now and deserves the living he is making doing B movies. And he still occasionally gets some roles in bigger films like Dark Knight. Respect.

[@markw110]

His role as the bad guy in the Mr. Brightside video is genuinely brilliant...and will go down in pop culture history. That's more than most actors...other than the kick ass song...he's certainly the most memorable thing from the music video

[@successsystem2468]

💯

[@laartwork]

2 oscar nominations in his first few years. Yes he pissed away his chance.

[@schmodedo]

Like a better Stephen Baldwin.

[@ericwiddison7523]

Eric Roberts elevates every film he appears in partly because he's a legitimately talented actor, and partly because he does so many bad movies.

[@JckSwan]

Hell, if I were a multi-millionaire I might indulge in this kind of narcissism as well. Good luck to him.

[@crappyfilmfans]

Yeah especially if he amuses us!

[@bring-out]

Some people have no sense, unfortunately. Or fortunately, as it's funny.

[@kaibotski4939]

I'd just do it to hurt people's heads because that's the whole point of having fuck you money.

[@markuss4133]

Aha

[@crimsonhawk4912]

Some gay batman pornography

[@mrnelsonius5631]

Imagine working on this for years, telling this rich dude “it’s gonna be great! You’re a visionary” just to fleece this guy out of his vanity bucks. No judgement, I’d work on a production like this. Job’s a job.

[@crappyfilmfans]

😂

[@Novastar.SaberCombat]

You can't make a narcissist listen to reason and logic, so... you're not wrong.

[@matt_v2305]

🤣😂

[@apelike]

The Nuremberg Defense...

[@EmlynBoyle]

I have a friend who attended the press screening of this, here in Ireland. He said the crowd were mostly roaring with laughter...I've nothing against Michael Flatley personally, but the sheer ego on display here is staggering. He's like Tommy Wiseau, but with far more money and even less talent (bar his dancing skills).

[@crappyfilmfans]

I watched a few YT vids of people who were in a press screening and it sounds hilarious. There was also a 2018 screening closed to the press. THAT is the copy of the film I’d like to see

[@ricardolorrio8228]

I think the word you are looking for is "ejet"

[@PungiFungi]

So I am assuming this film was not funny intentionally

[@colmwhateveryoulike3240]

I wonder if the laughter fell Flatley on Michael's ears.

[@crimsonhawk4912]

He showed that to Ireland?! Lmfao. He fucked up bad

[@razor6552]

He was totally unconvincing as a man standing by a window.

[@BrennanYoung]

upstaged by the window

[@LobsterPuncher]

This is the kind of movie that makes me feel genuine second hand embarrassment.

[@crappyfilmfans]

The Cringe is strong with this one...

[@mummyjohn]

it's so weird that that is a thing that even exists, let alone commonplace enough to have a name

[@Laceykat66]

I disagree. Most of my rainy Saturday afternoons were spent watching foreign sapy films that were basically all like this. They were a fun way to get through the day and I remember them fondly. They don't make "Drive-In fodder" like this anymore and American International does not get them and dubb them with this kind of dialogue. There is a place for this kind of movie making and while I agree with you, at least it is not produced by a big-name Hollywood studio with a half-billion dollar budget, all for the same results.

[@Darkness-ie2yl]

Even Meryn Trant is embarrassed to be in this

[@philipwhelan14]

Crazy thing about Michael Flately is that he was once the world record fastest feet in the world, a master flautist and a golden gloves champion. He has possibly the largest ego on earth.

[@crappyfilmfans]

"This gonna be my great comeback like thos rocky movie..."

[@krashd]

He was a master at farting?

[@apelike]

It's massive... but I still think the guy that went to the Olympic Committee and said "what the world needs now more than ever is to see me skydive into the closing ceremonies..." -- that guy has the biggest ego.

[@fourmilier.]

I hear that there is a sequel to 'Blackbird'. I believe the working title is 'Turkey'.

[@crappyfilmfans]

🦃 🦃 🎩

[@CallMeMrStopmotion]

The sequel "Whiteturkey"will be released next year at your local mitzvah Also gonna remake this movie just to make sequels with names based on colors and birds

[@markbuckley5109]

Well, maybe buy the DVD for when you get the person you don't like in the secret Santa

[@sandytraveller85]

Blackbird 2: Overcooked

[@AsadKhan-lm6yr]

Lol

[@randyrcook]

Still more entertaining than anything Disney has done lately.

[@crappyfilmfans]

True that

[@christophernuzzi2780]

Agreed.

[@motaman8074]

I'm going to buy another hat

[@crappyfilmfans]

One can never have enough hats

[@ChockHolocaust]

In case nobody had figured it out, the Monaco Streaming Award he won for this, was from one of his own organisations and was pretty much invented just so it could be awarded to him.

[@crappyfilmfans]

It’s the real life of making a burner account and giving your comment a thumbs up

[@nialloconnor1490]

I was a little thrown back that he wore his hat at an angle at his own wife's funeral. Like he was worried if he looked trendy enough

[@Novastar.SaberCombat]

Image is everything to the token narcissist, so... yup! He was most likely quite concerned with his appearance.

[@mummyjohn]

it's simply how hats are worn, get over it

[@sg-yq8pm]

@@mummyjohn it's how hats are worn jauntily you twit

[@mnomic8371]

The woman holding in her laugh looks like the best thing about this film 😂

[@crappyfilmfans]

I loved her, she was having such a good time

[@Laceykat66]

Hey, at least I want to WATCH this film. How long have you waited to say that lately? At least it could be fun.

[@zaphbrox8239]

@@crappyfilmfans haha, yeah... I thought I was the only one to spot her so obviously holding her laugh in, but then the arrow popped up, drawing everyone's attention to it.

[@JackieBGoode]

Mom, could we get James Bond? "We already have James Bond at home" The James Bond at home:

[@crappyfilmfans]

Haha too true

[@Biscuitavenger]

absolutely perfect analysis

[@razor6552]

A ground beef burger with Wonder Bread buns

[@J5L5M6]

@@razor6552 "Welfare Bond"

[@razor6552]

@@J5L5M6 Government cheese Bond

[@Ray-M59]

“Blouse wearing tycoon Michael Flatley”- Alan Partridge’s perfect description. Great video!

[@a-man2530]

I'm an actual neighbor of Michael Flatley, his mansion is 5 mins from my family home! Its so weird to see such fimilar sights in a "movie". I haven't seen Blackbird yet but it looks like glorious shite.

[@EsteemedReptile]

Tell him I think his hat is silly

[@a-man2530]

@@EsteemedReptileNo bother! I'll tell him the movie is bollocks too

[@hughjass8430]

Tell him "Go home Yank!"

[@a-man2530]

​@hughjass8430 believe it or not, he is a nice man!

[@richardhall5489]

"Glorious Shite" is a great term. It would be nice as a chapter title in an Irish movie.

[@edgiraffr1352]

Who would have thought the star of the show called “lord of the dance” would be a narcissist?!

[@crappyfilmfans]

Yeah so unusual

[@CowboyPants-h5p]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@jocularpaddy]

You think they found the Irish Steven Seagal?

[@crappyfilmfans]

If only he made as many movies, my life would be complete!

[@SamSherr-Nelson-n9e]

Steven Seagal is the Irish Steven Segal. I was gonna say I can become the Jewish Steven Seagal, but Steven Seagal is already the Jewish Steven Segal He once joined a Jewish dating site, and put in his profile he'd "bring home the bacon."

[@km-ug4dq]

No, because Michael Flatley isn't Irish.

[@hotfroganimations]

@@SamSherr-Nelson-n9ehe’s gonna take you to the bank…. The blood bank. Get it?

[@anthonypc-248]

Even this budget could have fed thousands of children for years

[@tomcarl8021]

My sister was a competition Irish dancer. I used to watch Michael dance when he was fourteen. He was a star in the Irish dancing world long before Riverdance. He had screaming girls and their moms just like Justin Beiber, though on a smaller scale. He quit Riverdance right before it became an international sensation. He went out on his own and became a huge star with his own productions. Though, I'm happy for his success and the fact he employed countless Irish dancers, his vision of what Irish dancing is, or could be, is utterly fucking ludicrous. He was never satisfied with Irish dancing just simply performed the way it was. His vision was to make it more theatrical and exciting. But he vision was straight out of 1980's Las Vegas. One minute he's dressed like Zorro, and the next like Seigfried and Roy. Lord of the Dance was so stupid, I thought at any time while he's dancing, he could do a magic card trick like David Copperfield. He both popularized Irish dance AND turned it into a laughstock.

[@adambazso9207]

@@tomcarl8021 I always had this impression too: that his "interpretation " is utterly "kitschy" and looks stupid.

[@jamesbomd3503]

Seigfried and Roy Had me laughing so much I literally pissed myself he must have fantasised about bringing on a tiger or a white lion while he was hoofing around but there again a tiger or a white lion may have stolen the show and the limelight as he was performing

[@robbieburns3564]

I've never heard of this. LMAO. Neil Breen would be jealous. The one funny thing you didn't mention is the "USB thing" is a metal washer in a SD memory card case. So instead of making this information in a format that can actually be read - no, it's a metal washer they put inside a SD memory card case. Brilliant!

[@crappyfilmfans]

Haha they were all outta USBs and the camera guy was like here take this...

[@DeclanRyanRising]

This kinda review is given to 95% of first time filmmakers. But it feels so much better when it's about a dorky dance champion rather than your crew member friend who spent a decade on film sets and still blows his 1st attempt.

[@crappyfilmfans]

Yes but when it’s multimillionaire it’s extra special

[@CommanderOfTheSun]

Chandler Bing should've been the main antagonist.

[@crappyfilmfans]

That could only have improved the movie 🍿

[@seanryan3020]

The actor Matthew Perry or the character Chandler Bing?

[@williammiller3277]

@@seanryan3020 both. Two additional characters for the movie. But chandler needs to be TERRIFIED of Flatley.

[@seanryan3020]

@@williammiller3277 Bonus!

[@jaylong4705]

I don't get it

[@oyeaoyea8555]

this review is hilarious but i still give credit to michael flatley for following his passion and putting himself out there to be judged - many let the fear of being mocked prevent them from even trying.

[@crappyfilmfans]

I give credit for him entertaining us

[@CowboyPants-h5p]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Dryhten1801]

Uh, no

[@DRXNESTRIKE]

@@Dryhten1801?

[@jamesbomd3503]

And it's something he can show his grandchildren Hopefully when they're around 3 or 4 before their brains have properly formed

[@doncarlodivargas5497]

Now i know what i will do when i become a billionaire, make a movie with myself in the main role surrounded by beautiful women

[@crappyfilmfans]

hells yeah

[@jocelynharris-fx8ho]

He didn't need to make a movie....what do you think the show 'Lord of the Dance' was based on ?

[@seanryan3020]

"Best portrayal of a secret agent by a constipated Riverdancer." That ain't no low-hanging fruit, boy!

[@crappyfilmfans]

My bois a pro

[@JR-gc5ef]

I've watched many reviews of crappy movies from Seagal to Neil Breen that have made me laugh. But this is the first one that horrifies, disgusts and nauseates me. Very Well done.

[@crappyfilmfans]

I need to dive in to some Seagal reviews! Love that old fool

[@crappyfilmfans]

@@CitizenAbel-77 where do I start?? Which is the worst of Seagal?

[@Metal0sopher]

@@crappyfilmfans All of them. Flip a coin.

[@wet-read]

​@@CitizenAbel-77 TLJ and Gary Busey made it great!

[@hafirenggayuda]

​@@CitizenAbel-77and that mostly because Seagal not have control on that movie, and the director (Andrew Davis) is quite good

[@mrmusickhimself]

I need a movie with Eric Roberts and Nicolas Cage as drug addicted cops, I don't care if it's a sequel to Bad Lieutenant, I NEED IT.

[@crappyfilmfans]

I need it too! Universe make it happen

[@IUsedToBeAnAdventurerLikeYou]

Grew up with Lord of the Dance and Riverdance, so when I first heard about this movie I had to laugh a bit. Anyone familiar with Michael Flatley knows the man has a continent sized ego and a film like this can only be a self-insert, Mary Sue fantasy.

[@crappyfilmfans]

Absolutely, Mary Sue fantasy sums it up perfectly

[@hughjass8430]

Proof that lack of intelligence, self awareness or wit are no impediment to the accumulation of cash

[@crappyfilmfans]

Sign me up!

[@TheFiddle101]

"We feared you were dead" 'Well, part of me at least" - considering his shyness with those gorgeous women, is it rude to wonder where that dead part may be?

[@crappyfilmfans]

It’s the masculine part of him ✅

[@ThatSockmonkey]

PENIS! ITS HIS PENIS!

[@DirectorHMAN]

Would have made for a more interesting sub-plot

[@Christian-wr4ge]

I have to admit that it's pretty well shot though. It might be drawing from other movies when it comes to mood and composition, but it's well executed (and which movie doesn't draw from other sources).

[@crappyfilmfans]

Yeah it’s well shot, which makes the terrible dialogue, acting and plot even more jarring and funny

[@kuribayashi84]

I wonder if that comes from Flatley having an eye for visuals at least or from him having a genuinely talented DP on hand.

[@alexandermikhailov2481]

I think Michael Scott has to sue this guy for stealing his Threat Level Midnight. 😂

[@crappyfilmfans]

Lawsuit in progress :)

[@JazmynnJones]

He’s still got nothing on Steven Seagal. The actresses can barely hide their disgust when pretending to be head over heals for him. It’s hilarious and sad at the same time.

[@tonygallagher6989]

A narcissistic piece of work which falls embarrassingly short? I know you're talking about the film, but that also perfectly describes Michael Flatley.

[@crappyfilmfans]

I tip my hat to you sir 🎩

[@kruk_7279]

Is it worse than Barbarella?!

[@Sangor]

@@crappyfilmfans I hope that after you tipped it you wore it at a jaunty angle.

[@audie-cashstack-uk4881]

He actually performed a miracle here he made us all tap dance whilst pointing at him

[@johnmc3862]

Hardly, a multi millionaire from dancing? I’d take it.

[@chikkinnuggits]

Back in the 90's, when Flatley was at the height of his fame, Conan Obrien used to throw out little insults towards him. The best bit was when Conan did a fake apology to Flatley, for referring to him not as "The Lord of the Dance," but calling him "Swishy McJackass"

[@disf5178]

Something tells me his 2 "best ____" awards are from an agency he owns.

[@crappyfilmfans]

Haha deffo, no way real humans chose him for best acting 🎭

[@Tore_Lund]

"The Monaco streaming Award"? Sounds like a title you can buy!

[@crappyfilmfans]

Lol it’s impossible to get any other info on these awards. Deffo sounds like a buy an award show set up

[@paulg2733]

"The Southend-On-Sea Non Physical Media Award"... That's a free one for the Blackbird sequel

[@ZeusMcCormick]

The only thing missing is our hero telling the villain to go puck himself.

[@crappyfilmfans]

Tap dance on aisle 5

[@montecristo1845]

This movie’s very existence is a reminder of how unfair life is for the truly talented and creative.

[@crappyfilmfans]

Or how hilarious rich ppl can be to assume their good at all things

[@supremelordoftheuniverse5449]

🎶 Cry me a river 🎶

[@4879daniel]

Michael Flatley is hugely talented and creative - just not in films

[@necrosadotor]

this kind of cinema rules, it's way better than the usual hollywood

[@crappyfilmfans]

Dam right

[@PompeySomerstown]

Michael Flatley plays....... Victor Blackley! Genius 😆😆😆

[@sharpsonmusic]

My friend invited me to see this and didn't tell me what it was. I came in to the film late and missed the start. Imagine my surprise when I was watching this crappy movie and everyone was laughing for no reason for 10 minutes and then all of a sudden, Michael Flatley comes out of nowhere and the penny dropped.

[@MikeFoxLive]

This commentary is simply brilliant! Got up this morning like mehh then watched this and now am so happy!! Thank you for my great day ahead lmao xx

[@andrewkendall7814]

I guess I'm too old for breakneck speed narration. A few minutes, got the gist, that was more than enough for me.

[@wiskadjak]

My wife and I watched this movie last night. As you said this "movie" is a pastiche of scenes cloned from real movies. Fight choreography and, to some degree, the jaunty hat angle is from The Quiet Man (1952). The line "You can tell a lot about a man by the way he plays cards." is lifted from Goldfinger where James Bond says "You can tell a lot about a man by the way he plays golf." Also, referring to something as "The Formula" is a movie trope that was already cliche when I was a kid in the 1960's.

[@crappyfilmfans]

Sooo much ripped off and the dialogue was so trash

[@purefoldnz3070]

missed opportunity to call this: Tap Another Day. "So, Mr. Flatley you live to tap another day."

[@crappyfilmfans]

Ok I tap out, you win, too many pun opportunities.

[@purefoldnz3070]

@@crappyfilmfans Flatley will return in... The Tap Who Loved Me: “Nobody does it better… than a tap dancer"

[@kildogery]

That hat change was spectacular.

[@crappyfilmfans]

Most majestic thing I’ve seen

[@kildogery]

@@crappyfilmfans surely a flat cap, makes more sense when driving? It's so odd.

[@crappyfilmfans]

I think the one fatal flaw you’ve made there is using logic and reason

[@kildogery]

@@crappyfilmfans he should have switched it backwards and put on some sweet goggles. He obviously did the wardrobe himself too. The fool.

[@crappyfilmfans]

@@kildogery now that's a movie I'd watch!

[@retroray58warby98]

You put a hundred monkeys in a room with a hundred typewriters and eventually they will create Blackbird….or they might just throw shit at each other, which is almost the same result.

[@crappyfilmfans]

Only when those two occur at the same time, and there is enough shit that smears on the script that blackbird can be created...

[@JasonAWilliams-IS]

So bold, so brave, such a great treatment of the subject. Brava!

[@crappyfilmfans]

Thank you 🙏🏼

[@Shin_Akumi]

Bravo* he is a man and so are u lol

[@patrickdoyle2510]

I salute your fortitude, and as I was watching your review, I was thinking how amazing it would be if this fella and Tommy Wiseau started a film school, to share their pearls with the next generation. Also, I just checked and Flatley's apparently making another film, so this gift intends to keep on a givin'!

[@wimvanderstraeten6521]

Who does Flatley think he is? Steven Seagal?

[@crappyfilmfans]

I hope he goes on a movie making spree like Seagal

[@SlimRhyno]

This made me fall in love with "Threat Level Midnight" all over again. 🥰 ... Wait, that was the whole point of the video, right?! 🤔

[@crappyfilmfans]

It’s awesome

[@mrgadget1485]

The plot and acting may be ridiculous, but I gotta say it's beautifully shot.

[@crappyfilmfans]

Cinematographer for sure the imposter in this group

[@carzybacon47]

The last Jedi

[@carzybacon47]

@@apatheticnoncombatant7750 me last night

[@helvete_ingres4717]

it looks very much lke an actual film

[@gallery7596]

I remember years ago Larry King asking him who he considered to be the best dancer in the world, and with a grin Flatley said "I am." King asked him if he was interested in a career in movies and Flatley said he'd like to do something like ''Rocky.'' Guess he decided playing James Bond was more his speed.

[@kslique]

At 21:17 you can see the angle of the hat matches the angle of the treeline behind him. That's attention to detail. That's cinema!!!

[@crappyfilmfans]

I hear it also matched the angle of his left testicle...

[@jonstiffer4994]

I read Flatley's autobiography and I'm not that suprised that he made this movie.The book made it quite clear that he thinks very highly of himself. Lord of the Dance was fantatic though and I can't really fault him for making a movie since he can afford it. I probably would too. :)

[@crappyfilmfans]

The ego has money

[@jans2887]

Michael Flatley wrote an autobiography? LOL 🤣

[@tahustvedt]

I want a cop duo movie with this guy and Steven Seagal.

[@crappyfilmfans]

This event would be the singular cause of world peace

[@szilardfineascovasa6144]

50 seconds in, I know I got to watch this. Ty for your service, but I'll abandon before spoilers!

[@michpemberton2487]

I'm allergic to cringe, i'm going to have to watch this in increments.

[@crappyfilmfans]

I've left the best for last :)

[@avidodd26]

>nonsensical captions that i can't turn off i'm so excited to watch your content!

[@arkoisagoodboy]

Got a role for a C-list movie that you're willing to overpay for because you have cash but don't know what a box office draw is? Eric Roberts is your man.

[@kevinpatrickmacnutt]

I just remember Denis Leary referring to Flatley as "A**hole of the Dance". Flatley and Eric Roberts in one movie that is a serious lack of talent.

[@gener2842]

This is the best review I have ever witnessed in the history of cinema!!! 😂

[@crappyfilmfans]

This is the best comment in the history of comments! (Deffo not paid by me)

[@gener2842]

@@crappyfilmfans I can attest to the fact that I have no financial relationship with the reviewer

[@jaylong4705]

Can i just say that Eric Roberts is the man?

[@crappyfilmfans]

Love that dude

[@dirtyguava8209]

Cinematography and camera tracking is legit though

[@RetirePhilippines]

You had me laughing so hard I paused it half way through bc I didnt want the video to end😂

[@themicrobrandexpert]

The dialogue reminded me of the fake soap that was playing on the TV sets in Max Payne.

[@crappyfilmfans]

haha so true! Lords and Ladies distracted me too much while playing Payne

[@ZER0--]

I'm worried that I'm going to get lots of River Dance videos in my feed after watching this.

[@ObeyCamp]

Do kids these days know about Michael "The Lord of the Dance" Flatley? His background makes this whole thing much more funny to me.

[@crappyfilmfans]

Michael flatulance, at your service

[@nobodyfromnowwhere7510]

I don't think any spy movie can be worse than Double Down. You just can't compete with Neil Breen when it comes to sheer, insane, complete incoherence.

[@crappyfilmfans]

Damm i need to watch this!

[@pnoblejr6779]

This is the worst thing to happen to birds since cats…..

[@gandalainsley6467]

China has a thing with doing these types of movies. There have been multiple Chinese movies where a millionaire hires a known martial arts actor and then has a fight scene with them and then beats them easily. One to came to my mind was a guy who hired Tony Jaa so in the fight scene with his tai chi he could easily beat him. It was odd. I forgot its name but supposedly its a common thing that millionaires in China do.

[@jumhed994]

Jack Ma who once owned AliBaba, China's Amazon made a movie where he beats up famous Kung Fu people

[@crappyfilmfans]

Geeez that’s madness

[@razor6552]

When you order 007 from Wish 😂

[@MrUnboxerVideos]

The real conundrum, is does he himself think its great, and sits and watches it himself often?

[@crappyfilmfans]

I’m pretty sure he’s hard watching himself

[@MrUnboxerVideos]

@@crappyfilmfans what a strange bloke

[@crappyfilmfans]

@@MrUnboxerVideos Agreed

[@mrdarklight]

Why do people force subtitles in these videos?

[@callumlowe7039]

Great video and well done for making this, my only question would be whether you can make subtitles optional going forward? Not sure how much extra work it is for you

[@crappyfilmfans]

Actually it takes me atleast 2-3 hours to add the subs. It seemed to help the engagement of vids, do you think most people would rather have them off? May try going back to no subs

[@callumlowe7039]

@@crappyfilmfans I'm not sure to be honest, it may just be me and it might not be worth catering to the small minority. Just depends whether the YT generated ones are accurate enough for it to make sense. Just my personal opinion but it may not necessarily be the right one. Well put together video either way.

[@assumptav]

I had the exact same feedback. I'm not sure if someone else does your captions, but there are lots of mistakes in them. I also prefer the subtitles off, especially since your voice is clear and engaging.

[@bpdhoplite]

FINALLYYYYY OH MY GOD I SAW THIS IN CINEMA IN IRELAND AND ITS ONE OF THE GREATEST FILMS I'VE EVER SEEN BUT ABSOLUTELY NO ONE ELSE HAS EVER SEEN OR CARED ABOUT IT SEEMINGLY LETS GOOOOOO

[@terrencezellers9105]

At the climax "shall we dance" you need to point out that there's a well known trope (The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly) "If you're going to shoot, shoot. Don't talk."

[@crappyfilmfans]

😂😂😂

[@thejesuschrist]

Thanks for this

[@robertodell9193]

I have to admit that "Clean up on aisle 5" is actually a pretty good quip.

[@crappyfilmfans]

I could deffo see it used in a 90s Arnold flick

[@nedim_guitar]

10:53 What she said cracked me up 😂😂😂

[@spookrockcity]

You had me at Eric Roberts

[@crappyfilmfans]

Most 1 star reviews say the same

[@Hectorsdad]

Thanks so much for this review. Cheered me up no end. My thanks to the production too as they provided the ammunition. 🤣

[@trafalgerdavis7839]

Bwhahahahahaha!!! Great send up. Saddest thing is, Eric Roberts was and is a pretty good actor, but man, I guess a pay check is a pay check.

[@Randy_Batswinger]

Oh man, thank you for this! 😂😂 "The name's Flatulence, Michael Flatulence!"

[@crappyfilmfans]

Now that’s a line he should have gone with 👌🏼

[@alanfike]

The critical difference between Blackbird and Threat Level Midnight is that Threat Level Midnight was intentionally bad.

[@crappyfilmfans]

And they intentionally tried to pack as many cliches in TLM While blackbird thought they were paying hommage

[@xxxaragon]

of course, imo, that's likely to make "Blackbird" the more fun film. similar to how classic horror garbage is more fun that the majority of those modern movies that are way too self-aware. (like, someone genuinely trying can be embarrassing, charming. but others basically failing by design - all while winking at you, as if to say "we did that on purpose!" ... where's the fun in watching that?)

[@steele41]

I enjoyed this video so much that I just tried to watch "Birdbrain", er... I mean "Blackbird" tonight and gave up at the 35 minute mark. I couldn't enjoy it, even ironically

[@crappyfilmfans]

Yeah there were some large patches of Boring sheeet left out

[@ruijikisu]

its terrible, but theres something i respect about rich people doing this sort of thing its kinda...cute that someone with a lot of money would make a movie where they are james bond, thats like what a child would say theyd do if they had a lot of money

[@Blablarrr]

If this guy cut all of us an equal piece o his ego, he'd have enough left to still think young hot chicks want him for his looks and dazzling charms.

[@anthonyyoutubefan7567]

Now, I'm interested to see this thing. I'll bet it's a better cinematic experience than The Last Jedi and The Rise Of Palpatine. Thank you, Sir.

[@crappyfilmfans]

Indeed, add it to those masterpieces!

[@zamar2158]

Yes, I could laugh at this. The star wars murder was too much to handle.

[@dukecity7688]

I forgot about this guy. Lard of the Dance. You made my day with this. The stupid, jaunty hats, Does he want to convey he's just an old song and dance man? Him walking on the beach is right from Fire Island in the 80's. I always found him to be a conceited creep. This confirms my feelings about the guy. This was fun.

[@liamburge463]

David Beattie (Nick in this movie) is actually a really good guy and it's a shame he's gets some crap movies. I met him a few years ago and had a chat with him about his time on GoT, truly a stand up guy and he does a good amount of work even before filming and he's actually a good actor.

[@crappyfilmfans]

Nick and the telephone box guy were the best actors from the film. I do feel sorry for them

[@colmwhateveryoulike3240]

Who was he in GoT?

[@daybidbanderbecht5299]

@@colmwhateveryoulike3240 He played Sir Meryn Trant. The actor's name is actually Ian Beattie(not David) I'm a bit hazy on GoTs plot details nowadays but he was Joffrey's King's Guard (I think) and one of the people on Arya's list of people to kill. She ends up taking him out in one of the later crappy seasons or smth once she levels up her assassin skills. He played a good scumbag if I recall but I barely remember that show since it started sucking the last few seasons.

[@colmwhateveryoulike3240]

@@daybidbanderbecht5299 Thanks! I have zero recollection of that character even after looking up pictures.