r/FacePalm - "IM NOT A ROBOT"

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#reddit #theclick #subreddit

[@emero.a.scythe1786]

"Mom kills three sons so they don't grow up to abuse women" Click's response of "That's like saying 'I don't want to start a forest fire, so I'll just nuke the whole forest' It's not a solution" reminds me of MatPat's "That's like trying to deal with a clogged toilet by *burning down your house"*

[@Scarlett.Granger]

Well at this point burning down the house is fair, you can't afford someone to fix the toilet, you can't afford the house and if you get arrested for arson, prison is paid by the government...

[@liathedoll]

Ok now I need Click and MatPat to collab 😂

[@emero.a.scythe1786]

@@liathedoll That would be amazing!

[@nathanjereb9944]

@@emero.a.scythe1786 game theory: is The Click a Furry!? It's just the 2 of them looking at furry memes

[@emero.a.scythe1786]

@@nathanjereb9944 YES WE NEED THIS

[@deadpoolj2278]

"If you're gonna be a smartass online, at least make sure the ass is smart!" You fucking killed them, Click.

[@Ramsey276one]

33:43 O M G XD

[@n00bxl71]

Only 1 reply? Lemme change that

[@nightmare_68]

Only 3 replies? Lemme change that.

[@ghostinthecornerofyourroom6612]

Only 4 replies? Lemme change that!

[@asveses5730]

Only- I can't count past 4.

[@Keyonne88]

The "marriage makes you fat" trope makes no goddamn sense to me. Its not marriage - its AGE. They're growing older with you. Almost everyone puts on some weight as they age.

[@CatharineLaurence-cq1px]

Or they have given birth

[@natk1105]

It's age plus shifting priorities. When you're focused on finding a relationship then putting lots of time and effort into your appearance makes sense. When you're happy, secure and focused on things like buying a house and raising children, weight can slide. I don't really see it as bad though, why wouldn't you want your partner to feel happy and secure and focused on your life goals together as a couple? Plus in that picture she looked great either way.

[@Super_Panda_BS]

Fun animal fact: Instead of shedding a few feathers at a time like other birds, penguins lose their feathers all at once a few times a year in what’s called a “catastrophic molt.” It takes about two to three weeks for a penguin's feathers to fully regrow.

[@alicebthegachaweirdo8378]

These comments makes me feel like I’m in school. And I like it

[@clumsystitcher]

How many facts do you have? Keep it up I love them

[@brothersandsistersofvalhalla]

Slight Correction: This happens only once a year with the exception of the Galápagos penguin who molts twice a year. Added Fact: During this process they are land bound and cannot enter the water until their feathers regrow.

[@Play1nWithFire]

I enjoy these facts

[@battlesheep2552]

I think it's because any holes in their feathers would cause them to freeze to death in the antarctic waters, so they have to get all their molting done all at once, during which time they fast because they are unable to hunt

[@brothersandsistersofvalhalla]

It's really amazing how humanity can be simultaneously the smartest species on the planet and the dumbest at the same time.

[@ChloekabanOfficial]

Are we Schrödinger's species or something?

[@IAmGodHimself777]

@@ChloekabanOfficial well…schrödinger was human, so… yeah.

[@alecLogan]

I mean… every species has its outliers in both directions, so I’m not sure it’s particularly amazing? Also, like, no other species was asked, so I think that any of us consider that to be the case speaks for itself.

[@peggedyourdad9560]

@@alecLogan Apparently dolphins are pretty racist (among other things), so there's one animal that's around our level.

[@jacobc9221]

With great heights come great falls, and humanity looks like dominos.

[@ared-ainu]

I mean, the weirdest assertion on me was a guy who concluded I was trans, because I didn't want to sleep with him. He even grabbed my boobs to say they were fake. I think he was right about one thing though: that trans women wouldn't want to sleep with him. (He was also an American pretending to be Canadian because he heard that that's more popular in Europe. Doesn't quie work when you defend American war crimes. He also accused me of stealing the jacket he forgot. The one I made great effort to give him back. What a weirdo. I found his backpack later. Threw it in a ditch.)

[@dmgroberts5471]

Greetings, I have been dispatched by the Council of Men to formally apologize on behalf of my gender. That man clearly failed the Don't Be A Prick and Women Don't Owe You Sex modules of his Manducation and will be punished via a program of mocking his shocking lack of game. We hope this bad experience hasn't soured your opinion of Men in general, and we assure you that the majority of us understand that Women have standards, free choice, and agency. Sincerely, Men. 😉

[@becca1189]

As an American, I sincerely believe that all Americans traveling abroad need to take a test for world knowledge, arrogance, & basic human decency. People who pass may travel at will, those who fail in world knowledge & humility must travel with a guide/babysitter, and those who fail in decency must complete deprogramming therapy before being allowed to reenter society.

[@ared-ainu]

@@dmgroberts5471 It absolutely hasn't, I have plenty of bad experiences with men, and many, many more amazing men in my life. Thank you very much!!

[@khills]

@@becca1189I’m frequently assumed to be Canadian or, since marrying my husband, Australian, when I travel to Europe. Which I guess is flattering…? When folks find out I’m American, it’s frequently met with some combination of “but you’re not loud/you know history/you’re culturally literate/you speak other languages,” and just yikes, fellow Americans who travel. Y I K E S.

[@dustorm5012]

​@@ared-ainuI love how you threw his backpack in a ditch

[@Ahrpigi]

"KZbin testing 5-10 unskippable ads"... Ah yes, one of the biggest reasons streaming killed TV in the first place. Let's definitely bring THAT back.

[@LynetteTheRogue]

Yeah it's on the same level of dumb as Netflix cancelling every show they make after 2 seasons and then blaming password sharing for why they aren't doing well

[@juliusklein6245]

Yes but this time, lets make sure we unite all companies so there is no escape from the ads! -some corporate person probably

[@utamari]

Just reload the page It works for now

[@EmillyOrr]

Fun fact: Breanna Straus, the cop who was all "Get out of the way"? Got suspended for posting that TikTok. Sadly, it was a ten-hour suspension, which tells you something about the level of cop privilege in the US, but it's something.

[@ceeshnia]

Man... a whole 10 hours, huh? Whatever shall she do... But seriously, that woman is tripping; cops are supposed to be examples in society, not bullies ("supposed to", not "are"). And they sure as hell should not be going that fast unless it's an emergency because as humans, they can still cause an accident.

[@arikira5492]

And threatening to pull people over just because they don't want to deal with traffic and bs? That's abuse of power, and they can be fired and arrested for that

[@brothersandsistersofvalhalla]

Depending on what state she's in she can lose her job if she acts out too publicly. A lot of states have very corrupt cops in the US though. In Canada that would have been an immediate suspension and at best land her a desk job for the next several years.

[@Vox-Multis]

Sadly, I suspect she was suspended not because she abused her power, but because she _admitted_ to abusing her power.

[@EmillyOrr]

@@Vox-Multis I think you're exactly right. She graduated from academy on August 9th, 2021, so her attitude was formed there, in training. She just was dumb enough to brag about what she and her cohorts already believed.

[@Nek0ru]

there needs to be a doctor that makes an account and pretends to be a 'stay at home mum' and give all the little dummys what they should be doing as 'another mum'

[@Aaa-vp6ug]

If they actually are mums, No need to pretend! H Just the stay at home and fake account part

[@tripolarmdisorder7696]

Trouble is, the anti-vax, holistic herbal supplement, MLM con artists that are already in the chat, will immediately be able to "make" or expose real good advice and get them banned. Plus, real doctors are not keen on unsolicited medical advice. Same with Lawyers, they don't usually give away legal advice free, because that makes the person they gave the advice to, their client but for free.

[@aandafunlist2824]

Just gives them actual medical advice

[@LilChuunosuke]

I think the worst case I've ever seen of someone over-analyzing something miniscule was when I was shopping for a new pair of glasses and told my mother that I didn't like how wire-framed glasses looked on my face anymore and wanted to try on some black, thick-framed glasses to see how they looked on my face. She went *off the rails,* making a huge scene in the middle of this tiny little mom and pop glasses store, complaining that I no longer knew how to think for myself. I was contributing to groupthink. If I saw a bunch of people jumping off a cliff, I'd follow after them with no questions asked and DIE. That I was lead astray and going to live a life of misery because I blindly followed what everyone around me did. I tried on the glasses. My mom said they were her favorite frames I tried on....

[@AneitaLT]

What was wrong with her to make her act like that?

[@brothersandsistersofvalhalla]

Your mom sounds like she has mental issues

[@0gammag0]

@@AneitaLT a lot it sounds like a lot, no disrespect to OP’s mom

[@Shalakor]

@@0gammag0 I'll just go ahead and disrespect that mother for you, than. If she can't be respectful enough trust their kid trying on different glasses frames, she hasn't earned any respect in turn. Saying "no disrespect" is a pretty empty platitude anyway. (Honestly, though, actually fairly indifferent to the situation, since there's not enough context on what could have possibly set her off. Definitely not the most stable reaction.)

[@thesupervideogamenerdmore3171]

Moms should NEVER yell at their son/daughter for paranoia or anger. I know she loves you, but she went Jekyll and Hyde on you.

[@talkichik101]

The girl with the strict rules about which gender her partner can interact with is the definition of insecure. That's insane.

[@kennymartin5976]

I can garuntee they're both from am strict baptist or evangelical community. Married that young these days? Plus that vid reeked of purity culture bs. Cults man, they mess you up something feirce.

[@bigmike1432]

one thing I do agree with her about is mentioning they're married bc you wouldn't expect them to be but yeah, totally agree with you

[@ninfreak1978]

What’s she going to do when they get jobs lmao. I can only work with girls and he can only work with guys. That’s not how jobs work lady

[@gwenlop9512]

Wait until they find out about hospitals and other public places

[@Arob4343]

I feel like that Gaston reaction was actually on point

[@dmgroberts5471]

It was certainly in character.

[@mikekerman8285]

The reason I keep coming back to this channel is not the content anymore, it's the community. Here I am comfortable just silently being myself, a feeling I rarely experience irl. Thank you Click for building such a accepting and wholesome community. And thank you, the reader, for being part of it

[@palemink]

I agree! This community is amazing. And thank you too

[@memecat9830]

MEOW :3

[@omegahishumata1548]

Here, have a virtual hug

[@shrub4203]

C:

[@warmsnow]

Seriously I was thinking the absolute same. Wish all people had the same sense and understanding and respectful behavior like the community here

[@riverm.reiner7613]

The weirdest bit of "spychological" analysis was this dude who told me I can`t actually be autistic because I smile.

[@aelechdeepestflame4347]

LoGiQ

[@TreespeakerOfTheLand]

Lol, I'm autistic and I'll talk to anyone. Don't stereotype us, okay?

[@Roadent1241]

Somewhere an autistic person is getting yelled at for smiling TOO much. XC Logic(!).

[@wmdkitty]

Mom says I'm "too verbal" to be on the spectrum.

[@taiyouscandalous1175]

@@wmdkitty my cousin has autism and he's literally the most talkative person I've ever met, it's almost like he can't stop talking

[@4nn0lng]

16:30 funfact: Disney employees have to react/answer that way cause "flirting" back could cost their jobs they can also loose they're jobs if they protect themselves (physicly or swearing) if someone harrases them and are not allowed to tell people to stop when they're filming a TikTok (that could make them uncomfortable) Infront of them that could ALSO cost them their jobs. So be respectful to the employees and don't film TikToks or some shit without asking if it's okay

[@Creepy_Arts]

Have you ever heard of punctuation? Also true

[@4nn0lng]

@@Creepy_Arts this is a KZbin comment punctuation is not rly Important because litarly no one cares 😿

[@PikalaxALT]

Jacksfilms rose to fame because of his "Your Grammar Sucks" series, which shows definitively that at least some people "litarly" do care.

[@4nn0lng]

@@PikalaxALT okay...? So...?

[@-desertpackrat]

Also you're wrong about them not being able to stand up for themselves, why tf are you lying? There are literally videos of Disney park actors telling people to go away after harassing them. Stop spreading lies, jerk.

[@diamondmx3076]

9:56 sure was nice of that cop to create a permanent record of her abuses of power and intention to break the law.

[@Konpekikaminari]

She basically got a day off for this tiktok I hope this video ends up being a problem in court

[@hypatiakovalevskayasklodow9195]

I just finished the theoretical part of driving school and it turns out that it is actually illegal for police and ambulances go through a red light unless they are chasing someone, and for ambulances actually many accidents happen this way

[@graydanerasmussen4071]

She should get out of her car more... "To Protect and to Serve" is painted right on it. Now to learn what that means...

[@xonx3056]

"we will find something to ticket you for" jebus krist...

[@natalies7485]

@@xonx3056 Yeah, cops like that shouldn't have their job. If you're gonna pull over someone and abuse your power cuz you're bored, that ain't right.

[@somebodyspetbug]

The guy painting on the potholes is truly the embodiment of chaotic good

[@dmgroberts5471]

Really, he should make them into people bending over and spreading their cheeks. With the pothole as the anus.

[@Fyrnskulblaka]

His name is Wanksy! The council estate Banksy!

[@denkisupremacy]

​@@Fyrnskulblakathat is pure gold 😂

[@markthesapphicdumpsterfire1745]

12:10 friendly reminder that in the original story by Hans Christian Andersen, the little mermaid in the illustrations had black hair and blue skin, so, in conclusion *it doesn’t flipping matter, because nobody in this world has naturally blue skin*

[@ferretqueen2908]

Really? I heard she was green

[@alteria2714]

And even if we did, it's a fricken fairy tale or whatever, there's no reason to take it so seriously, just let your kids watch it if they want to and move on with your life

[@jokerofspades-xt3bs]

fr its like when people argue charlie in the chocolate is bad cause it isn't like the original movie it is legit more like the original books then willy wonka

[@JootjeJ]

The original little mermaid loses her love and turns into sea foam. Nobody seems to complain about how much Disney has messed up the original story. Halle Bailey seems to be doing an amazing job. Why don't people just leave her alone?

[@kempolar9768]

Disney messes up and alters a lot of stories, but way too many people (particularly those in the US) have never actually heard the originals and think that Disney actually made them up themselves.

[@randomcrazynacholove]

The original story was also written by a gay guy about losing his love because he was straight. But I bet if Ariel was made a man in the movie then there would he complaining too. For some people, Disney movies are what they grew up watching. To have one change is like trying to change their past. I think she will be an amazing Ariel and I look forward to seeing it. But I can see how it's not fully a racist thing. It's more about preserving their childhood. Of course, a lot of people complaining are racist (especially that Facebook group) but not everyone

[@jaimicottrill2831]

Plus the biggest point- She is a freaking mythical non-human being! She could be purple or blue, and it would possibly be accurate. All these people saying the little mermaid was white are human toilet brushes who don't deserve one moment of that actresses time.

[@marcorizzoni9766]

Also the original marmaid, before the deal with the sea witch, was green and scaly even on the “human parts”. As any other marmaid.

[@synckar6380]

@@randomcrazynacholove I thought he was aro? But I do recall that he did write TLM after getting rejected by a straight guy so idk.

[@heidtb6746]

A german comedian once said: "Idiots are not always racists, the other way around however they are." And it fit's this subreddit pretty well

[@zaraahballard1971]

Why did I say ‘ oh racists always not are idiots’😂

[@DogFish-NZ]

I loved the mermaid thing from a Christian group. isn't their white Jesus a bit like the mermaids thing ? 99% sure jebus wasn't white .

[@comandercarnis]

​@@DogFish-NZyour right, he was a middle eastern Arabic jew which many forget.

[@owlfly_artist]

Reminds me of “you can never know if there are assholes in a group of foreigners, but you can be sure that in a group of Nazis, there are only assholes“

[@becca1189]

@@DogFish-NZ When Jews 1st came to the U.S. the government didn't quite know how to classify them (whether or not to discriminate against them & if so, in what manner). A spokesperson from the Jewish community gave a speech about how proud they were that Jesus had come from their community thusly solidifying their classification in the U.S. as "white" & giving them a degree of protection. Smart in the short run, not so great in the long run. ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

[@Zakkleberg]

About the little mermaid with the "Christian" group: I used to be a Christian, and remembering back, there's nothing quite as hateful as "Christian love"

[@dmgroberts5471]

These people would deport Jesus or have him arrested for vagrancy if they met him.

[@khills]

@@dmgroberts5471They sure as hell wouldn’t recognize him.

[@Aaa-vp6ug]

@@khills Guess what, White Jesus is based off Leonardo’s depiction of his boyfriend, before they broke up. Leonardo Da Vinci, I mean, As depicted in the Last Supper

[@khills]

@@Aaa-vp6ug Artists have been depicting White Jesus for a long time, before and after da Vinci. But the most common depiction for most folks is a 1940s painting created by Warner Sallman, called “Head of Christ.” Sallman was an advertising artist who had deals with both Protestant and Catholic publishers, which is why for most white Christians alive right now, if they were to describe an image of Jesus, it would be THAT image.

[@meh2510]

The post claiming that Jesus was an American cracked me up. Setting aside the fact there is no evidence that Jesus historically existed at all in any form, the lore has him placed squarely in the middle east 2000 years ago.

[@DreamKeeper.]

For the lady complaining about the babysitter. She was paying $2.50 an hour for 49 hours a week. I work 40 hours a week at walmart and get paid $13 an hour. Her babysitter will not be paid less for longer hours, she will be paid more for the same amount of hours so take that

[@linedancechicks]

As an Au Pair I was payed $139,- a week in addition to getting fed and housed - over 20 years ago... that woman is - well... - something else 🤦‍♀️

[@brothersandsistersofvalhalla]

$13 an hour? Minimum wage here is over $15 an hour and set to be $16 in about a year or so. Although almost no jobs actually pay min wage. Back when the min wage was like $13 an hour they were paying me about $17 an hour for working part time at a low end job in retail.

[@felvkitties8]

Our Walmart pays over 15

[@thewillow3457]

@@brothersandsistersofvalhalla wtf where are you? US min wage federally is $7.25, different for some states but I think maxes out at $13 or $15 for the richer states. I barely get by at $20 for backbreaking work lmao

[@trisfaleel]

@@thewillow3457 California or smt

[@whatthefoxsays-here]

fun fact, there is a species of wildcat known as the Pallas cat, and when it snows it will put its front feet on its tail so its feet don't get cold

[@squido5278]

Isn't the Pallas cat the one that also has the grumpy face?

[@ceeshnia]

@@squido5278 Yes.

[@bendingdemon6483]

@@squido5278 if you mean the Grumpy Cat meme, then that's a Siamese, Pallas Cat's can't actually be kept as pets or in zoos because they live so high up that coming down to out level would expose them to viruses that they've never been in contact with before and it'll kill them

[@missharry5727]

Also known as the manul. There's a youtube channel devoted to them called I think manulization or something similar.

[@brothersandsistersofvalhalla]

@@bendingdemon6483 Grumpy Cat is not Siamese.

[@sleepylumine9513]

whenever click says we smell good or look good it gives me such a confidence boost when I'm sick and feel like sh*t

[@pandorapeace2591]

Me too! He says it so creepy but I'm just over here so flattered. 😂

[@dmgroberts5471]

Huh, makes me feel kinda paranoid.

[@olliewest9864]

Same, like I just finished an 8 hour shift working in a kitchen sweating and covered in grease and sauces and click is just like "you smell dandy-fine-olitious" and I'm just like thanks boo

[@ASweetShortCake]

Same, honestly.

[@Bunny_Bill]

There's nothing more I want than to just have Click do an entire segment in Swedish mid-video and go back to English, pretending like nothing weird happened at all

[@AndrewD8Red]

I'm sorry Click, but the internet says you are a robot. Sorry you had to find out this way.

[@MacTechG4]

Not only that, he’s a furry, a furry robot! ;)

[@yourguard4]

Even his name is bot-like.

[@foxinabox5103]

@@MacTechG4 protogen

[@user-un8hy5dd3j]

@@foxinabox5103 time to make him a protogen fursona. jk I can't draw

[@foxinabox5103]

@@user-un8hy5dd3j Look, i would do the same if I'm actually good at art! But alas I'm not

[@PixelAtionGuitar]

19:44 I recently got this exact hug from my dad when he got home from hospital after his heart attack it's a hug of genuine love and happiness I'm not surprised OP's dad never gave them the same treatment

[@shainariedel2324]

It's good that you got better.

[@Thil]

Random fun fact about my childhood: my elementary school IT guy was so bad, whenever there was a document to sign, we also had to sign a captcha on paper. Much like how a child can get all excited when they'd get to press the button for the crosswalk red light or the elevator, I'd be excited everytime my mom would let me color in the not a robot box Alternatively my mom might have been a robot and let me sign them so she wouldn't get caught

[@hypatiakovalevskayasklodow9195]

alternatively 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@dmgroberts5471]

Can your Mom identify a boat from a 2D image?

[@peregrinehope8378]

Fun fact: Once upon a time, the famous conqueror Napoleon Bonaparte was attacked by…bunnies. The emperor had requested that a rabbit hunt be arranged for himself and his men. His chief of staff set it up and had men round up reportedly 3,000 rabbits for the occasion. When the rabbits were released from their cages, the hunt was ready to go. At least that was the plan! But the bunnies charged toward Bonaparte and his men in a viscous and unstoppable onslaught. And we were taught that Waterloo was the conqueror's greatest defeat…

[@meh2510]

Which goes to show, when going rabbit hunting, always bring a Holy Hand Grenade.

[@nikolabrankovic2130]

Wait if I remember correctly the reason that happened was that the bunnies were trained to like humans

[@chesneymigl4538]

Raised rabbits for 4H. They can be viscious!

[@user-ds7jo7wt5q]

​@meh2510 and you must count to three. Not four, not two, as the number to be counted to is three. Five is way off. One may count to two, as long as it precedes three in the counting.

[@frgogi3485]

'they're stealing our culture, our stories and our countries' Disney literally has Mulan (set in china) Aladin (set in Iraq) and lots of other things, yet you don't hear people from those countries complaining that these stories are stealing their culture

[@a.kitcat.b]

Seeing those poor runners trying to get up those stairs hurt my soul. As a runner myself there is no greater battle.

[@Laced_With_Acid]

im not even a runner and its a battle going up stairs 😭

[@a.kitcat.b]

@@Laced_With_Acid 😭Honestly tho😢

[@niyah_uwu]

I am living in a 6th story flat. I started jogging a few weeks ago. The agony is real.

[@Dovah_Slayer]

That is such a dumb idea why would you do this to those poor runners

[@dustorm5012]

"Stairs, my age old enemy"

[@lmno567]

19:38 that is one interesting way of telling the world "I've never hugged my son."

[@icedevil3795]

as a british person, i assure you we just walk around saying tea and biscuits 24/7. typing is the only time we can say full sentences. she must be using speech to text

[@Mrs.Hernandez42]

The married in college girl is wild. My husband and I have our own lives. His commanding officer is a women and the doctor I work with is a man. Am I supposed to tell him get another officer? Am I supposed to fire the the doctor? Like damn lady live your lives separately 😅

[@LifeWithAshaAse]

Right!

[@Humanoidfrenzzy]

It could be the college setting making them insecure, I know a lot of people who cut all alcohol out of their lives as students, and now as adults, they have a very positive, and relaxed relationship to alcohol, and drink responsibly without any problems. Could be a similar thing happening here. If they don't divorce, and work together, they're probably going to relax more when they're away from college hook up culture. Or they're going to fail, who knows?

[@arielruby13]

yeah, the ones in the video do sound like the fundamentals to a abusive relationship, too controlling.

[@ASweetShortCake]

Something tells me they won’t last. That’s crazy…

[@khills]

And clearly Married Girl in College is the one driving these demands, since her husband had to ask her permission to reply to an interesting discussion board conversation and she said no. I feel sorry for both of them; they’re really limiting their college experience by only engaging with their own gender.

[@jamescheddar4896]

If I ever get that recaptcha irl I'm going to ask "what percentage of me has to be machine to constitute being a robot?"

[@echo_is_probably_sleeping]

I'm gonna steal that, that's such a good idea

[@dmgroberts5471]

Good point, that's discriminatory against cyborgs. Another option is to tell them they're violating your privacy by asking.

[@Kartoffelkamm]

When Gaston turned that girl down, it reminded me that there are actually rules for the actors, because of course there are, and one is really funny: Aladdin is not allowed to kill guests. Apparently, Gaston has no such restrictions.

[@dcornect53]

No one can ROAST like Gaston

[@jaimicottrill2831]

Lol, you win for comments!

[@trishapellis]

Thing is, that actor was spot-on, too XD That's absolutely something Gaston would say...

[@Entlty007]

Make great TOAST like Gaston, No one’s quite a hospitable HOST as Gaston!

[@ayumitora3471]

"If you're gonna be a smart ass online at least make sure the ass is smart" made me laugh way harder than it should have 💀

[@PrincessNinja007]

I've pointed out to lots of people that the "child naughties" law is hurting the people it's supposed to protect, and no one cares. Apparently the important thing here is punishing children for loose morals

[@Danidripxy]

I just enjoy the fact the emotional support demon started as a joke and is now a plushie.

[@Rolbell]

20:45 Tell me you’re not mature enough to be married without telling me you’re not mature enough to be married.

[@i0x37]

She's crazy

[@galaxygirlstudio5347]

The post is satire

[@DaveCM]

The blonde talking about the rules, that is just insane!! They are not going to be married for long. They are way too untrusting of each other. To the point that they can't even respond on a message board? They will be divorced in no time. It is a very unhealthy relationship. Yes, I am married and have been for a long time. Yes, we trust each other completely.

[@dmgroberts5471]

I was married for just short of 13 years, and I concur, she's insane. For starters, they're both going to get fired. I've never had a job I could do without talking to female co-workers, you'd look like a fucking lunatic. Secondly, how the hell are you going to pick up food on your way home? Or buy groceries!? Do you both have to go everywhere? That will get old FAST. Then there's the trust issues... enjoy having a massive fight at least twice a week until you resent each other.

[@teshlafreeman4040]

100% toxic control and untrusting its just sick

[@joaopereira1443]

Elephants have around 150,000 muscle units in their trunk. Their trunks are perhaps the most sensitive organ found in any mammal - Asian elephants have been seen to pick up a peanut, shell it, blow the shell out and eat the nut. Elephants use their trunks to suck up water to drink - it can contain up to 8 litres of water. They also use their trunks as a snorkel when swimming.

[@reginaprince3020]

16:05 And they obviously didn't learn their lesson as they now ask random strangers on the internet for legal advise AGAIN

[@FaeryPeople]

20:35 apart from those requirements being silly and ridiculous, as a woman in engineering where 80% of my classmates and 100% of my teachers are male, this would be pretty much impossible for me.

[@MatingPress]

saying "walkable cities is fatphobia" is like saying "everyone has to close their eyes or they are being ableist towards blind people"

[@nevrikx]

I mean having seen most forms of transport I don't think larger people would necessarily disagree with walkable cities

[@martelraykin]

It's even worse than this because fat people can still walk even if it's probably more tiring, so it's like saying "keeping your eyes open is ableist towards people with glasses"

[@loverrlee]

I’m fat and I agree. Actually I’d love a walkable city! I get much less exercise (especially after Covid and I no longer feel safe to use a public gym since I’m immunocompromised). I have to drive everywhere here in Texas when I used to bike everywhere in California because we had great biking trails where I used to live.

[@BringMayFlowers]

As someone on the heavier side and not all that ashamed of it, I'd rather walk everywhere than get in a 2 ton box and go 70 down the highway, assuming everyone else on the road is in perfect health in their 20s, and isn't distracted or focusing elsewhere on the road, and has no music going. Back in high school, I used to bike a few blocks every so often to the grocery store and would love to have that sort of arrangement again.

[@ferretqueen2908]

You can't talk, that's ableist because I have a sensory disorder

[@thelunarwizard]

Aw, I love Evil Duck. Evil Duck should make an appearance more.

[@betafurret1503]

Yes

[@llamadreamqw906]

Correct

[@Scarlett.Granger]

Indeed.

[@0gammag0]

Darth Duck needs its own plushy.

[@thesupervideogamenerdmore3171]

I want a Good Duck, but white will NOT be a good choice. Maybe blue or pink.

[@stischer47]

The part about the cop reminded me of a story a friend of mine who was a deputy in the local sheriff's office was on his way to a call late at night, siren on and lights flashing on a relatively deserted highway. As he approached one car, it pulled over in front of him. He pulled into the other lane, it pulled in front of him. The third time he radioed the office that he was having a problem, turned on his loudspeakers and told the person to pull over. Surprisingly they did. When he asked the woman if she had not seen his lights and heard his siren, she replied she did...but she didn't like people passing her. She was promptly arrested, her car impounded, and, as we say, had the book thrown at her. Her husband was a lawyer and she thought she could get away with it. She didn't.

[@JustAcrylicArts]

the "i am not a robot" one reminds me of when i do traditional art after doing digital art for a while and i make a mistake and try to "tap the undo button"

[@dmgroberts5471]

When I first got my laptop, I would often try to tap or swipe things on the screen. It does not have a touchscreen.

[@KilljoyFreya]

I feel called out by this XD

[@__-fm5qv]

When I saw Megan and Harry holding hands at the funeral I thought "aww, I'm glad they can comfort eachother openly", according to the media apparently that was the wrong take???

[@NeoZhinzo]

You have to understand, when someone hates you, there are NO correct choices to make in their eyes other than f*cking off, and even that some times is the wrong choice.

[@wonpilspiano]

People who hate them make absolutely no sense.

[@Peejay1966]

It truly is weird. But the haters will always find fault. Damn, I don't even like royalty and feel I have to defend this couple.

[@__-fm5qv]

@@Peejay1966 Exactly! I'm no royalist myself, but the absolute slander of the british media makes me want to defend them. Plus I actually respect harry for stepping away from royal duties to prioritise his family, it takes guts to step away from that level of expectation to focus on what you think truely matters.

[@Atlessa]

@@NeoZhinzo If they'd fucked off then haters would say they never loves Elizabeth...

[@EmmittBrownBTTF1]

Little Mermaid controversy gets stranger when we learn the original Little Mermaid was a characterisation of the author's crush in a letter in which the author expresses his anguish at losing his crush to the woman his crush was soon to marry(not a lesbian wedding).

[@jamiethal1319]

How is it not a lesbian wedding if it’s two women getting married? Unless his crush was a man.

[@EmmittBrownBTTF1]

@@jamiethal1319 The author and his crush were men, his crush married a woman.

[@whitelight2195]

@@EmmittBrownBTTF1 ooooh

[@natk1105]

Wouldn't that make the author the mermaid? Since in the original she dies sadly after being replaced.

[@EJKelly-tu9dm]

@@natk1105 the author himself was essentially imagining himself in the mermaid's place, yes.

[@1999CrazyBones]

24:46 now imagine the fire-truck spontaneously combusts... that would be an interesting turn of events...

[@piperjaycie]

This Little mermaid situation just makes me worried for the actresses mental health. Hope she has good self esteem and confidence and a good support system. Why are people still like this??

[@aaronmccullers384]

My guess is that a lot of these people are sick of live actor rereleases of old movies and are probably trying to find some reason to hate the live action movie without seeing it, and unfortunately racism is something that people easily can latch onto when making complaints about something they hate without any reason.

[@lucky4d725]

@@aaronmccullers384 I'd argue its the opposite. Racists are using the live action as an excuse to act like lowlifes and use the bad rep of the movies to promote their shit opinions.

[@bellablue5285]

Finally hit this part of the video, I'm gobsmacked. Agree, very much so, really hope she has a strong support system to deal with this crap. People can be so disgusting at times

[@tinymittensdesign]

@@aaronmccullers384 Nah, people have always gone "These live action remakes are dumb" without being vile before. They're just a bunch of racists who need to be hit by trains.

[@empressmarowynn]

@@aaronmccullers384 Or, you know, they're just racist and racist people will make racist comments just because they are racist. Trust me I grew up around enough of them, they didn't even need a thinly veiled excuse to spout their garbage.

[@GodofTrek]

@16:20 - Went to Disneyland for Halloween once with my family, I was dressed up as Gaston for the Halloween Event/Party. There was of course the 'Villians' cruising around. When we met Gaston he said to me "Always nice to see a lesser version of myself.", Without missing a beat I replied "There are no lesser versions of us", He looked me deadpan in the eyes, pointed at my wife and said "Then explain why you settled for that!" We nearly died laughing as he walked away.

[@Yogasefski]

I’m convinced now that humanity is neither naturally good or naturally evil, WE ALL DUM AF!

[@brothersandsistersofvalhalla]

I mean good and evil are manmade concepts so you're correct they're not natural.

[@alicine-sims8988]

Born dumb and the rest came latee

[@Arya_Takeda]

Click's voice is so nice to listen to, I really like just keeping his videos open in the background while I do tasks. Thanks for the videos

[@SiskoMaSu]

He ain't bad to look at either 🖤

[@SiskoMaSu]

@@p0is0n49 Nothing creepy. Just appreciating.

[@brothersandsistersofvalhalla]

@@SiskoMaSu I hope you continue to appreciate him from a distance.

[@SiskoMaSu]

@@brothersandsistersofvalhalla That's the point. With all respect and the little sense of "How to human at 40y" I have. Just appreciation.

[@brothersandsistersofvalhalla]

@@SiskoMaSu Can't blame people for being cautious. There are those who creep on KZbinrs.

[@calypso6200]

The weirdest interpretation of body language happens when people do things just a little bit more forceful and people instantly assume this person must be angry at them (they is me btw) Great video! And the satire channel sounds like a really funny idea! Have a good day!

[@dmgroberts5471]

I used to work with a guy who typed VERY loudly. Usually our office door was shut, but one day we left it open, and several coworkers came to ask if he was ok. Not together, through the course of the day. He had to address it in a team meeting and have me corroborate that, yes, that's just how he types.

[@gabsrants]

That escalator stunt is probably the most evil thing I ever heard

[@AC8X]

It actually really bothers me. I’m sure there were people who had panic attacks at the least, and imagine if someone was having a medical emergency.

[@calmyourmind5665]

It definitely escalated.

[@Shalakor]

I'm just wondering how nobody just opening up a line of traffic walking up one of the escalators anyway? All it would take is one person from the top to realize they should keep people from going down one of them. Even the vast majority of out of shape people can still climb one of those things when they're moving downward.

[@trishapellis]

@@Shalakor I don't know about the place where this was, but where I live, escalators have a red button that you press in case something/someone gets stuck or something, it's an emergency stop where the escalator just stops. Then you can walk up it...

[@AC8X]

The insane thing is that whoever took the photo of the guy on his phone at dinner probably watched his gf hand him the phone and still tweeted that

[@lucab9499]

I recently read a book called Qualityland and its kind of a dystopian comedy. That world has a lot of androids that got so good at solving captchas that failing the captcha means you're human. Also the androids can do everything humans can, EXCEPT carrying a full cup from one place to another without spilling it.

[@shadow_leaf7965]

Do all the clumsy people get detained for suspension of being an android? Please tell me they do

[@lucab9499]

@@shadow_leaf7965 no they don't. Somehow they can always tell humans and androids apart

[@leyrua]

29:20 "Hehe look we're fooling the zebra." 😆 Zebra: "Hehe I don't have to run faster than the _lions,_ buddy..." 😁

[@dmgroberts5471]

Lions: "Let's kill that one, it looks deformed and slow."

[@Zebulization]

I did knew a girl whose parent sent her to an all girls boarding school, to keep her away from boys and the risk of teen pregnancy. Of course it worked, it worked quite well. I am baffled why they were shocked that she started dating women when she got out. Did they really think that all of those young women would choose abstinence while being crowded together with other sexually frustrated young women?

[@ilenastarbreeze4978]

I mean you still have to be attracred to women

[@zljmbo]

@@ilenastarbreeze4978 there is a theory that most people are actually bisexual, just conditioned to preform heterosexuality

[@SartorialDragon]

Sexual frustration ≠ sexual orientation my dude

[@duckyluci]

Many girls are lesbian or bi, but that is just who they are - it was not caused by the situation the parents put her in. I guess they accidentally did her a favor tho, which is nice in a way.

[@duckyluci]

This reminds me of something Sandi Toksvig said on QI, about her parents sending her to an all girls school to avoid boy troubles and, as a then-still-closeted lesbian, feeling "quite happy" with that decision.

[@tomatogoose4426]

22:26 I once was walking home from middle school and this lady was throwing a frisbee with her dog in the front yard. She and a perfectly usable fenced in backyard so I don’t know why she was out front, but whatever. I walked by, and then her dog came at me and bit my leg. She called her back and asked if I was okay, then just kept on doing her frisbee thing. I went home and called my parents, and my mom immediately wanted to go over to her house to rip her a new one. It was quite funny because my dad is usually the overprotective one, but he had to hold her back like “no don’t attack her” lmao The dog had all her shots and was perfectly fine, just happened to have a cracked tooth. Also, the lady said it was my fault for running when the dog came at me because “her dog has a strong prey drive” 😂😂 Like, am I not supposed to get a little scared when a dog I don’t know comes at me? Anyway, i turned out totally fine. I just have a little scar on my calf to this day

[@MissInterpret4]

humanoid robots being tested for their humanity in real time is part of the plot for 'Do Robots Dream of Electric Sheep'. It's a fascinating idea

[@antonfowler6582]

That book went on to be made into the movie blade runner

[@angryfroggo6394]

Wildest psychological assessment I've had: "Your nose piercing is on the wrong side, are you a girl lol?" Me, AMAB masc-presenting with a full beard. No miss. No I am not.

[@eatsnacks4681]

People are fricken wild sometimes. Same thing happened to me, once: "Oh no!, you should take that earring out. You know women only have matching piercings right????" I wasn't aware gender was controlled by bits of metal.

[@angryfroggo6394]

@@eatsnacks4681 Oh man, I had that one too. The first ear piercings I got were either side first holes and that also apparently is "too girly" for a male. Never mind that the right piercing got expanded and the left ear got pierced another four times lmao

[@rydrakeesperanza5370]

21:00 professors? What? They are much older, most are married and you are strangers anyway? The closest you can get is them remembering your name or sometimes talking a little about your subject, but... that's it most of the times.

[@darkiee69]

9:59, the cop got suspended for 10 hours without pay. Basically a day off. There's no hate like Christian "love"

[@Aviedya]

I honestly love watching old people rapping. I can just imagine them standing in the recording booth and having the time of their life, and it just makes me so happy. (Unless they're talking about some fucked shit, obviously)

[@empressmarowynn]

Look up Jack Hartmann. Dude makes all kinds of educational videos for pre-k and his raps are incredibly cringe. But he's made literally millions of dollars doing it and looks like he's having a blast so good for him.

[@purplemnkydshwshr]

20:00 She act's like she's a devout girlfriend, what she needs is some bloody self control. Can't even talk to the opposite sex? If you're that easily tempted, that a guy saying hello to you makes you want to strip naked and ride him, then you really need to practice keeping those inside thoughts, you know, inside.

[@BenaSPACE]

16:12 I'm not sure what she was expecting. Gaston isn't exactly the protagonist of the movie he's from. xD

[@1993Southparkfan]

I’ve seen villains that people have a crush on just for their looks. Doesn’t surprise me seeing women who have a thing for Gaston.

[@Renny_Boi]

The captcha thing has the same vibe as a digital artist trying to hit ctrl + z on the keyboard but they are drawing on paper…. This totally has not happened to me too many times to count

[@warmsnow]

Will not forget about my friend that showed me real photos from her past youth and while we were looking at them she had a photo in her hand and tried to pinch zoom with her other fingers 😭 I stared at their like b you didn't do that it was so awkward because she stopped for few seconds looked back at me and said you really didn't see this and I said oh I did I wish I had this on camera 😂😂😂 she tried two times because of course the first time it didn't zoom in neither did the second 😭

[@amy_pieterse]

Or trying to zoom in on your drawing, on paper.

[@mattsqwrl]

And no one would ever try to scroll paper either...

[@StoicVeR]

yeh... I've tricked to click a "link" on my physical book once or twice. wtf is wrong with us?

[@Atlessa]

I sometimes close a window on my computer, realize I still needed that window and try to hit CTRL + z to undo. Never works. -.-

[@isaacbobjork7053]

Imagine me not being able to speak to like 90% of my co-workers just because they are of the opposite sex

[@kempolar9768]

Genuinely, the logistics of having to stay away from 50% of the entire world simply isn't going to work. Even without the overly insecure and controlling element its just dumb.

[@MahsaKaerra]

Regarding the Meghan Markle post, the person interpreting her facial expression to mean something it's not. It is like "Resting Bitch Face", where a person's facial expression gives the impression that they are angry or frustrated. And on a related note; I do not sit down on park benches at all any more, because on *multiple occasions* people have approached me thinking I'm depressed or whatever. Apparently the way I sit down just give off "self-harming" vibes. Dafuq?

[@goncalocarneiro3043]

Well... I suppose I'd rather people answer false positives than ignore real positives in this one case. You surely don't mind that much having people come up to you, right? You can ask for a free hug.

[@tylerduncanson2661]

For the news story at 7:30, that wasn't a case of countries not getting an equal amount of world leaders, it was a case of past world leaders that were liked by the royal family being invited, while the disliked Trump was not.

[@Luubelaar]

Not even that. Canada is part of the Commonwealth. The USA is not. All of the former US presidents were not invited. Only the current president was invited. Trump wasn't singled out.

[@archonfett]

former Presidents still keep the title (which is weird and slightly confusing at times, and should be switched to "former" imo) but sounds like that nutter was just mad Trump wasn't allowed tbf I wouldn't want him at my funeral either, pretty sure Obama and the Bushes were not black listed (don't know if they went)

[@tylerduncanson2661]

@@archonfett Trump is referred to as "former president".

[@SomeOne-ex7hk]

In a picture I took where I was mid-sneeze someone said I was screaming, and thus overly emotional and full of hate. And that the person who took the photo should remove me from their life before I put them in the hospital. That's my biggest "You read way too much into this" moment.

[@justsomewriter175]

"If you're gonna be a smartass online please at least make sure that ass is smart" is such an amazing line. Grear hoodie btw

[@jordan_cagle]

20:40 say your controlling without saying your controlling.

[@Behlsy]

12:21 saying that the little mermaid I supposed to be certain race is utterly ridiculous, Hans Christian Andersen, the guy who wrote the original Little Mermaid story didn’t specific the race of this character. The animated movie version of the tale was pretty much just an interpretation of the character. Halle Bailey is literally perfect for the role, her voice is absolutely gorgeous and seeing the reaction of many little African-American girls to the new trailer is heartwarming. Ariel is a lot of peoples favorite Disney princess so for a lot of little girls it is quite special to see their favorite princess look like them when historically Disney (and other things in Hollywood) have been pretty white washed when it comes to their films.

[@JLB0880]

Holy shit that subway escalator story will haunt my dreams. Edit: the same Little Mermaid people have no issue changing their boy Jesus from a Middle Eastern man to blonde hair blue eye light skin 🤔

[@karowolkenschaufler7659]

I've come across the theory that people get so mad about this because farytales and disney in particioular are sort of mental safe havens. when somthing is significantly changed about them it can feel like an existencial attack to people.. so they lash out. and that theory makes sense to me. it also makes me want to wrap everyone who get's upset about the littel mermaid skin thing in a weighted blaket, pat them on the back and say "there, there."

[@SartorialDragon]

Almost as if it's never been about *sticking to the original* and all about whitewashing ^^

[@SartorialDragon]

@@karowolkenschaufler7659 interesting. Yeah, makes sense. But also, it's valid to ignore a new movie and rewatch the old one over and over and ignore the new one in your canon. No need to be a racist shithead about it. We'll need a lot of weighted blankets all around for those people!

[@cftyftyufyfuyfty]

There exist blonde Palestinians just fyi

[@arielruby13]

@@SartorialDragon yes. it used to be my favorite movie as a kid. But considering i am not a kid anymore, i am not the target demographic for the new movie, so i could just not watch it. I do like the black mermaid tho, and i would watch it, im considering it. Since you mentioned the blankets, could you tell me where you got them? Maybe one woud feel nice to have

[@luxeford547]

Fact: anyone can edit a photo or video to show whatever they want it to. It wouldn't even be problematic of people didn't fall for it. *But here we are.*

[@Rexofthe501st]

25:23 My jaw literally dropped. The mentality some people have about poor people or the fact that they are CHOOSING to be poor?! What is wrong with America...

[@cinnamon2476]

11:56 the thing is the ORIGINAL ORIGINAL little Mermaid was a lil blonde gay guy ✌️🏳️‍🌈 The original author was in love with another man ,but he got rejected and so he wrote the little mermaid about his love he couldn't have. That's why the little mermaid dies in the original story.

[@jessicaholscher4097]

20:21 are these "rules" going to continue when you start working? what if your boss is the opposite gender? you have to ignore them? you're gonna get fired pretty fast.

[@aycoded7840]

10:26 "Your welcome"... That's the sentiment a lot of them hold. "You should be grateful some of us do our job, therefore, we are above the law, and above you, second class citizen".

[@ZeroHourProductions407]

When I went to finance my civic two years ago, I also had to do the same thing about the captcha on physical paper. Unfortunately, the people that are supposed to design and vet those forms and documentation are as clinically stupid as those featured on this subreddit, and have demonstrated a precedence of rejecting financing applications where it isn't checked, even when done in person and on paper. And knowing the _quality of staff_ exclusively hired at government assistance facilities, well... It is not that hard to believe. Absolutely, insultingly stupid, true; but not implausible.

[@tzisorey]

2:35 - Loki: "...but what if I was a robot and didn't know it..."

[@graceblasdell9436]

Another Loki fan!

[@jamesgaming-kn1zz]

18:50 is my fav part thay think thay are punishing her but you basicly just said "ok we are sending you to a school full of your preference in partners"

[@untipomasenyoutube6646]

27:10 Argentina's currency is called Peso, which literally means weight

[@piperjaycie]

Okay that parental control one is absolute genius!!!!

[@dmgroberts5471]

I hate it when I get home to find my parents have chewed through their leashes again, and are watching right-wing media.

[@justabossman6147]

34:35 I love how the first girl has visible disgust and confusion and the other two are just in two stages of "WTF?!"

[@Aavazandum]

Hey click! I just wanna say thank you for helping both me, and this community with your light, fin vision with a little bit of motivation thrown in there. Who knows, maybe I’ll get in the business lol. I only wish I could meet u. Thanks so much

[@earthbloodelf5289]

Love your pfp lol

[@lyllydd]

I've also seen stories about Frank Sereno, who baked a birthday cake for a huge pothole in his neighborhood and posted pics of the pothole enjoying its cake on the city's website. They fixed it the next day.

[@insertclevernamehere1186]

3:25 I like how Click immediately goes straight to "Just steal someone else's baby" and just forgets that *adoption* exists...

[@i0x37]

It's the same thing

[@spl420]

​@@i0x37Nah, adoption is buying child for free

[@HiAgainTheNameIsStillAyle]

But where is the fun in that?

[@ivechang6720]

I am here for the dog getting tested to make sure it didn't get anything from the child.

[@Someone-dv7hw]

19:25 "I am fourteen and this is very deep" I'd really like to think I stopped spounting BS like that (if I ever did) by the age of ten at the latest

[@alexanderbridges8442]

10:56 they blured George Takei's information, like dude, he was in Star Trek, it feels so odd to blur out a celebrity's info

[@peggedyourdad9560]

Not taking any chances I guess.

[@574guy]

So, about that police officer telling us to "get out of the way". I think she knew she might get in trouble for that because she went so far as to censor her actual badge, making it harder to identify her.

[@ASweetShortCake]

I’m pretty she did get in trouble for it. Hardly, but still.

[@remor698]

8:20 The craziest reading of basic human behavior, I have ever seen was, that a politician holding a speech blinking "too frequently" was a clear sign of them being a robot. They came to that conclusion because computers have these indicator lights, which blink while they are processing something, so clearly data being sent to these supposed "humanoid robots" would cause them to blink as well, just with their eyes to not be suspicious... It's really quite impressive just how nutty coniracy theorists can get.

[@valyair]

"If you're going to be a smartass online, at least make sure the ass is smart" My favourite Click quote so far

[@hybrid9mm]

That cop got suspended for that rant lol.

[@BlazingDrag00n]

Uh ... suspended... wow .... should have to look for a new job.

[@ilenastarbreeze4978]

@@BlazingDrag00n na shes an amarican cop they dont get fired just moved

[@o-mangaming5042]

@@BlazingDrag00n I know, right? One of the reasons the U.S. is in such a bad spot is because there's too many cops like that. Nowhere near all of them, but far too many. And the Blue Wall is a real thing that protects the bad ones until they do something truly excessive. I mean, if not for all the rioting after George Floyd's murder, are we really sure his killers would've been sentenced as harshly as they had been?

[@Insertia_Nameia]

@@ilenastarbreeze4978 same things with our doctors and nurses.

[@hybrid9mm]

@@BlazingDrag00n yeah in any other country she would have been fired.