Creepy D&D Player Tries to Mind Control Party for TWISTED Harem Goals

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

You Can Check Out More Stories Here! kzbin.info/aero/PLs2SsEFbEIfauDCJ2BODA-hGVuSjTj02K

[@MilieuGames]

I blame the DM the most. A big thing to remember is that sometimes problem players are that way because you never told them it's a problem.

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

Definitely!

[@1TieDye1]

Agreed. And there attempt to “help” him was literally just enabling him

[@aazhie]

It's a big responsibility to DM and this is one of the biggest factors. I took a Psychology of Groups class in college and the first and biggest lesson was: It matters less who is IN your group, as who is NOT included in your group. Most groups can be fine, but one bad person can absolutely ruin it for everyone!

[@BlazingKhioneus]

The DMs really didn't think this through even slightly. "We want to help him with his views on women. So let's play into his power fantasy and let it happen with no consequences." It's like going to AA and they hand you a case of beer and tell you to have a good time. This isn't helping, this is enabling.

[@CaymenLeP]

I appreciate OP being so reflective about his actions

[@mungorumple]

"Out of game problems can't be solved with ingame solutions" SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

Yeah, this scenario really is the perfect example. I see it so many times where people try to keep it “in the game” when it was never a gameplay issue.

[@BlazingKhioneus]

Both the DMs and past OP need to hear this. You cant solve real life social issues by having them do it in DnD.

[@forgottenfamily]

If you bring a guy with these problems in to try and help reform him, you have him play a comparatively normal character so he practices having normal interactions with women and hopefully can develop normal mentality. You don't have him in a situation where he gets to live out his fantasies and in many ways create new victims of sexual harassment. The poster and Nat might have made mistakes, but it seems like a lot of people recognized there was a problem given the number of consent issues involved. The DMs were not given nearly enough criticism here.

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

Yeah that’s what confused me. They basically gave him the go ahead. I know the writer tried to say that the DCs for these spells were high and all, but why let the guy roll at all to victimize fellow PCs. And why let him already have succeeded on one NPC and imply he can have an harem…

[@forgottenfamily]

@@lootgoblinmarketplace I can easily imagine that the full story was a progressive "weird situation just keeps getting worse over several months" - eg: sure you can play... sure you can have a familiar... hypnotized? Well I guess she's an NPC... I guess it is in character for him to be hitting on other women... I guess it is in character for him to be hypnotizing but... etc At some point though... there's got to be enough red flags here to intervene. If you're uncomfortable with it and you try to set up some lines, you've got to intervene when those lines get crossed.

[@reverendmorgano9659]

@@forgottenfamily I agree. The DM couple were in truth the real problem in this scenario because they were enablers with self-delusions of being licensed therapists. Sure, the edge lord and Nat shouldn't have resorted to metagaming retribution and should have spoken up sooner and asked the DM couple to do something, but they honestly shouldn't have had to endure Dave's perverse antics in the first place. A good DM doesn't wait for the players to get sick of something before acting to stop behavior literally anyone with even the slightest grasp of morality or sense knows is not appropriate. The entire scenario sounds cringy as hell, like a couple whose son is a serial killer but rather than try to get him the help he actually needs they indulge him by helping him capture victims, all the while telling themselves and others that they really believe he'll get better if they keep helping him. Honestly, it's debatable as to which of them is more mentally ill but there is no denying that all three of them are very much to blame for the harm being done and that does make all of them very sick individuals.

[@elise3517]

You also *make sure the other players are aware of and comfortable with the situation* I know this was a decade ago, but come on, this guy tried to nonconsent another PC

[@reverendmorgano9659]

@elise3517 It doesn't matter when it happened. It wasn't ok then and it's not ok now.

[@TooTheTooDude]

Now i wanna play dnd more because of all these crazy stories

[@jefftheevilpotato]

same!

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

Yeah, I always get the itch to play after I see some of these longer stories!

[@Yeahyeah993]

Fr!

[@realdragon]

Do it, if you want crazy shit to happen I recommend dark fantasy

[@Rob_Pap]

Same. My DM is on vacation got 3 weeks and I need my D&D dose

[@frequentlyaskedanswers1441]

This goblin is cute. And a sweet voice. Truly the best horror story narrator. Nice video, cant wait to see more.

[@frequentlyaskedanswers1441]

Loot goblin seems to have innate charm person.

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

Haha thanks, this goblin has become so charming that even I the narrator am under his spell!

[@DBinitiate]

Friendly reminder that mental issues are never an excuse to do messed of stuff.

[@Layarion]

it's a fiction, the only thing messed up is people were sharing it

[@l0stndamned]

I very much feel the DM was enabling the problem player here. They were encouraging the bad behaviour rather than limiting it and unfairly exposing others who hadn't consented to being part of this hairbrained makeshift therapy session.

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

Yeah, it’s kind of wild that they thought this was helping anyone!

[@trevorplaysdnd]

DM should not have allowed this. Absolute failing on their part. The only time I ever tried to do something remotely close to this was when I cast sleep on a party member to stop them scaring villagers. The DM stopped me and said that it wasn’t ok to be taking the agency away from other players like that and I apologized and realized my mistake. That’s how it should have gone.

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

100% that the DM should of not allowed this. I agree that it’s a player agency issue even before the creepy undertones. Their intent made it even worse too.

[@trevorplaysdnd]

@@lootgoblinmarketplace yeah, personally I think that while the poster could have handled it better they did a decent job all things considered. In my eyes that type of meta gaming isn’t a big issue for me, especially since there are in character reasons for a lot of the avengers actions, and player griefing probably seemed like their best solution given the dms complacency

[@trevorplaysdnd]

I respect the DMs for wanting to rehabilitate/ improve Dave but that should not have taken place in a group setting with people unaware/unconsenting of the situation. That’s unfair on the players and it’s unsurprising that it ended up creating conflict in the group

[@leoncoben6983]

Wait what? That sounds genuinely annoying. If a party member is scaring villagers, wouldn't that also affect how the villagers respond to you? I think you not wanting that to happen is completely valid and you should be allowed to roleplay the straight man that puts a stop to silly shenanigans.

[@theworldsgreatestjidiot9667]

The "but it was twelve years ago so we didn't really care" really got me!

[@rdd567]

Why do I feel like the DM is mostly to blame here? If they are indeed experienced, they prob never should’ve let the web get that character background. Tbh if I was having a session with him, I would probably try my best to create a “rocks fall and he dies” situation just to spite him.

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

Oh I agree. The DM was aware of the problem player’s behaviors, stated they disapprove of the behavior, but still let them constantly roll to engage in said behavior. The DM should not be surprised at all that the other players did not approve of what was going on.

[@Pho7on]

Thank you for the comment at the end; I thought the whole "therapy" aspect was stupid and naïve. That kitsune dude should have been OUT.

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

Yeah, if they want to take time out of their day to help the guy… I can appreciate that. Nothing wrong with helping the guy on your own time. It seems like they for some reason decided to make it a group thing that no everyone agreed to and we can all see that was a mistake.

[@zeehero7280]

I'm usually chill with having charm spells and other mind control spells used against my character- but only for reasons that are good and make sense, and can add to the story. Like say theres an Evil party member who eventually betrays us when our goals no longer align, and he charms my character into helping him escape alive, or uses modify memory so she doesn't come after him. If I fail the saves on that, it just adds to the story, and gives her another reason to be pissed and want to get back at the traitor. This horror story is about a DM and player who shouldn't be playing to begin with.

[@TheSingingFoxy]

Help him by encouraging his awful behavior is… what the hell?

[@bagel4976]

I like to listen to these and find out ways how my character would find a solution to it, it help builds character to it

[@NoorinStuff]

I really like how you used short for the tldr and normal yt video for the full story, very creative usage of the platform! (also love the goblin mascot too- very cute design and I cant take my eyes off them)

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

Thank you. I love the design too! I think these TL;drs definitely have been helpful in letting people know if they’d be interested. I always wished channels did it so I figured I might as well

[@Maninawig]

Having studied mental issues (and dealt with my own) a lot, it seems like the DMs tried applying exposure therapy with Dave, which is commendable, but misplaced. My guess is that they might not have had much training in the matter, else they would have known that this would only work if the group was warned about his condition and how to avoid it, agreeing to these terms (e.i. everyone has to work together). Another aspect that reveals the DMs lack of medical knowledge is that they should have kept checking up on the other players to make sure that nobody was getting overwhelmed. Here, asking the right questions would have revealed the tension and prevented the metagaming tag-team.

[@shadenox8164]

It seems more like it would have been helpful to not him do these things to show him they aren't okay.

[@Maninawig]

@@shadenox8164 true. There are different approaches one can take, depending on the individuals involved. Exposure Therapy is a method that allows you to work through traumas by exposing you to triggers in a safe space. Using that definition, D&D would be a safe space to explore certain elements as it is all theater of the mind experienced by a third party creating that safe space. However, the key element missing is having a trained and experienced professional at the helm, taking on the role of a DM. Given that sich a key element was missing, the next best method a DM can use to help a player out is exactly what you mentionned: show them that it's not ok, but in a safe environment where each member is both willing and able to be forgiving. The qualifiers for this method are much lower, yet the DM still fell short by not consulting the other players.

[@DoubleJJizzle]

The dms made a big mistake here, you can't be a therapist for someone with these kinds of problems, and then actually support and encourage the behavior. They may not have been openly supporting his antics, but being the ones in charge, they also never stopped or reprimanded him for them either. Im sure the dms are fine people, and were only trying to do good, but they went about it the wrong way, likely made his behavior even worse, and subjected other people to possible trauma.

[@keysystem]

this title screams “banger”

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

It was a doozy alright!

[@elderashagall]

Mental health issues, especially predatory ones don’t deserve to be dealt with kid gloves. The DMs should have done something more about it. The op was not wrong in my opinion because there was no out given to them or the other player. Shame on the DMs for not doing something.

[@DrGlacier007]

I just noticed the two small goblins appearing in the background 👀

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

Haha, I was wondering when someone would!

[@chronenojysk5107]

If the Purpose of the DM is to make Dave “have better social skills” enabling him to roleplay as a creepy rapey weirdo is not helping

[@Puzzles-Pins]

Actually there are legitimate therapeutic benefits of ttrpgs. They can even be used in clinical therapy. It can be a safe space to explore some issues. The problem is, for it to work you need to be an actual trained therapist. Sounds like these people were just putting him in a group of random players and hoping for the best. While letting him thrust his kink on them without consent, kinda defeating the whole purpose.

[@squid3946]

My (licensed) therapist ran d&d games for teenagers with social anxiety! It's a good option if done right. Your point about random players is relevant too; therapists and even support groups generally put people with similar/the same issues together for group sessions. Even in the psych ward they divided us into two groups for treatment: mood disorders and psychotic disorders. You simply can't put a sexual predator into a group of unprepared people.

[@warrenpeace5366]

Yeah that's tough. The DM Should've, from the get-go sat his Party down and said what the situation was. Would've learned a lot sooner that it wouldn't be a good fit, especially if there are a lot of women in the game. Secondly, The DM failed to do what he set out to do. It was a ridiculously tough challenge to begin with, but he if anything enabled his behavior. The first time he tried to enchant another PC, or even a NPC to do something nasty to another PC, that should've been one of those learning moments. "How about instead of charming them and forcing them to do what you want, you approach them, and convince them to join in a harmless prank." idk anything than just letting them mess with the Group.

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

Yeah, the DM took on a huge responsibility and didn’t disclose it to anyone. I think people might even want to help if being clued in but those who don’t want to deal with a player like that (myself included) should be given the option to walk away before it got to this point.

[@ThePaleRiderDeath]

DnD is not free therapy, I am not your emotional punching bag.

[@curioussavagery802]

Honestly, it may not have been the right choice but it wasn’t the wrong place. The dm is interesting he wrong here. He didn’t need ttrpgs, he needed actual help. They exposed him and his behavior to other people (especially without letting them know), so the dms didn’t even get consent.

[@jediping]

OP needs to stop blaming themselves for how they went about trying to stop the creep from creeping.

[@ArcCaravan]

Or figure out how to stop creeps better.

[@capitalbeat1749]

top notch quality mate, loved the vid

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

Thank you, I really appreciate it!

[@saintmateo]

I know that weeb! The worst part about this story is IRL he really tries to sell hypnotherapy. 13 years later and he's still a cringe incel convinced he can hypnotize his way to sex.

[@robineir]

Honestly I think OP and friend found the best alternate ending possible. “Mom and Dad” were going to subject the party and as many players that wandered on in to That Guy. This was bound to end in an explosion and everyone is better off it was one as small as this. He was being catered to and allowed to let his awful inhibitions run wild and be met with respect and even reward, he was never going to get better.

[@realdragon]

It's always kitsune with the weebs

[@ArcCaravan]

Or samurai.

[@purpsponge9059]

17:04 lmaooo weaning off is insane

[@soul4pasta]

I know I could google it, but this community has been great answering my questions so far (y’all are awesome). So at the risk of sounding like a noob, the heck is a Weeaboo? Am I just that old now? 😅

[@JayMustang]

Weeaboo is nerd slang for that guy whose hyper obsessed with anime and Japan in general, now I had my weeaboo phase growing up, but I can definitely say I grew out of it, but I was never as bad as this guy in the story, this is the kind of guy if he was at my table I’d have to take the dm to the side and be like you need to get him to stop or make him leave

[@Pho7on]

Did someone just say weaboo? .... Weaboo! Weaboo! (courtesy of the perry bible fellowship)

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

Nightflash is totally right. It slang and the big takeaway is it’s hyper obsession to the point it’s crosses into a detrimental territory. I know plenty of people who like anime and even play anime inspired characters without issue. But there is a common enough trope that the protagonist in a lot of anime end up having a harem of girls that follow him around by the end of the show… it isn’t exactly a thing I want to deal with as a DM. If you want to play a dating simulator there are already plenty of those available!

[@shadenox8164]

@@lootgoblinmarketplace I'd also add weeaboos basically almost hit the point of fetishining Japanese culture, but not actual Japanese culture the fictional version of it where its all anime and katanas.

[@masonmachell683]

0:22 lil gobby in the back it’s so cute. 0:30 two gobbies. 0:32 3 gobbies

[@stephtros9029]

if i ever have a party with members who have big disagreements, I'm gonna find a way for them to try and change each others minds or die trying, and if one dies then the issue issnt a problem anymore in game wise! boom done, dramatic yes but can be effective for a possibly great story

[@sweetoleander9048]

I'm fine with the two using meta gaming and griefing against a creep. You want to fantasize rape? yeah we gonna grief you out. I don't like hearing OP saying how he was wrong, so gross

[@Qardo]

I am wondering. Are these physical in person or are they done over other means? After all. If someone dares does this in person. They would get slapped across the face. Then, thrown out of the building. Just them. All their crap left behind as payment for their stupidity. If it isn't in person and over the internet. -.- Just disconnect.

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

A lot of these stories are online, mainly over Virtual Tabletops like Roll 20 using voice chats to communicate. I’m sure a lack of direct confrontation plays a roll in many of these stories. There have been a few I covered though where it was in person and just as bad!

[@reverendparadox7316]

dave just playing rance

[@joekennedy498]

me and my freinds are fresh out of 9th grade and i hosted dnd sessions but the only problem was they would constantly joke by touching the boob of a maniquen that my mother had to the point that after the first session i litteraly hide the manquen so well that it was hard for me to even get to it

[@SupremPyro]

I'm nearly 3 months to late but one thing confuses me. The Avenger has a traumatic experience with hypnosis/mind control hence why he could see what dave was trying to do. Shouldn't he either go baserk on him or have a mental breakdown after being hypnotied even if it was for a short time and a prank?

[@FaisLittleWhiteRaven]

2 months too late to reply but I suspect the Avenger's player probably did RP a few breakdowns for him (or 'easily ignored' hissy fits) but those were probably not particularly relevant to the story as I could easily see these DMs praising moments like those as being 'great RP' without bating an eyelash as to why it kept happening so long as it never resulted in the 'oh so awful' direct PC vs PC combat (which given they tried to shut it down both times it nearly happened in story, was probably about the only 'players can upset other players with this' risk they actually understood and probably always gave the creep a free pass for nearly instigating repeatedly due to this being 'his therapy' and all DX). ...But that's just my gut read and I could easily be off base.

[@ArcCaravan]

I'm guessing DM's stopping the first incident of nearly attacking kitsune for attempting brainwashing in ninja drow also told avenger to not use traumatic past as an excuse to directly instigate PvP whenever any hypnosis was used. Might help that only during the near "streaking" incident did the hypnotizing reach a point to justify in-game violence.

[@azradun3903]

He should be confronted by the DM the first time he tried to hypnotize the player character. I don't care about his "sexist persona", fiction is fiction, but playing out such fantasies on real humans is a no.

[@mtdreamcatcher5090]

The DMs are absolutely at fault for this, you don't bring a known creep into a game with unsuspecting people to "help him get better" the rest of the party is here to play DND not be the props to an intervention. They also enabled him by allowing him the hypnotized waifu and allowing him to try the same shit on other players

[@Ike_of_pyke]

Black swordman vs Black Swordman LETS GO

[@RollCakeCookie]

Great, the DM’s invited a problematic individual and forced the other players to be his "exposure therapy". How is that not a problem?? Why do these people have to take on a bad individual who DRAWS HIMSELF BEATING WOMEN? Insane.

[@mrcatsbattlefield7072]

If i hear anime and dnd in the same sentence i automatically remember what i called "weeb bait" when i dm'd where i set scenarios to good to be true for the weeb to pin anime all over only for it to live up to to good tobe true. Example: a bar with a very blushy and shy beautiful girl. When they try to make it more anime then it is for bait purpouses: turns out they were doing a act to get sombody to get closer to gain a hostage for a very risky armed robbery! Normally i try it if theres red flags if there smart enough to investigate 1st there normally not game spoiling level. Only my experience and i chose to say it cuz why not

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

I think that is fun to have villains/criminals play into tropes only to abuse adventuring parties. After all they probably live in a world full of adventurers so they have learned how to con a few in their time too!

[@aaronaxel4760]

This is a prime example of why PvP is important. Some DMs dont allow it but they should, provided it's not due to metagaming. I have nearly killed two PCs because they consistently endangered the party (and got innocent people killed) out of selfishness or criminal negligence. Both times the player was upset because "it's just what my character would do!" To which I replied "and attacking you is what my character would do."

[@megatronjenkins2473]

(drops a comment, picks it up looking around. Nobody saw it, so I put the comment back on the shelf. Flies casually)

[@squidboygrey2915]

More of a reason to laugh at hypno fetishes for being predatory

[@VestedUTuber]

Honestly, I get the feeling that the DM _wouldn't_ have actually been that helpful. They were giving Dave way too many chances here, and they flat out enabled him by letting him play a character with hypnosis spells and allowing him to literally have a brainwashed sex slave as a "companion". As for Dave himself... while I don't blame him for having a hypnosis kink, things like that should only happen between consenting parties in private spaces. Mental health issues or not, you don't force that into a public game on people who aren't consenting to it, it's practically rape at that point. While I don't condone the griefing against him, Edgelord and Nat had every right to be upset, mental health issues or not. It's one thing to have a kink or fetish, it's another to try and "magical realm" it on everyone. What I would have done in that case is bring it up to the DM, but have a backup plan to leave the group if the DM decides to just be a doormat about it.

[@Romuluz369]

I mean... This would make an excellent villain if handled better 😂

[@Sometings_fishy]

The story is cool, but my fanart is in the background in the start

[@Layarion]

so in a game where you roleplay, they had a problem with dave roleplaying. these nutjobs i tell ya

[@ArcCaravan]

DM couple had a problem with others roleplaying reasonable distaste with kitsune.

[@Layarion]

@@ArcCaravan you're a nutjob if you think the meta gang attack they tried was reasonable.

[@unnamedone3063]

The problem is they didnt talk about do or dont on session 0. In dnd you can roleplay anyone if others dont have problems with that

[@cfly1459]

Stories bussin’

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

No 🧢?

[@cfly1459]

No 🧢. You ate it up and left no crumbs! @@lootgoblinmarketplace

[@skylerwindrgn]

THE ROUGE IS THE GUY WHO MADE SONIC EXE WTF

[@skyedwards8959]

Me and one of my friends have really been wanting to start a campaign but, we're very new to this. Does anyone have any tips?

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

So if you’re looking for a place to start Pinterest is fantastic for getting some art and battlemap inspirations! I would recommend Roll 20 for a free virtual tabletop too. Pathfinder 2e and D&D 5e both have a ton of free content available on their websites. There is a lot of fun content creators that talk D&D basics. Jocat has a popular series that is a guide to the classes that is a fun watch!

[@absolutfx]

Screw Dave, OP is fine.

[@ajayramsey9133]

ya epic dm failed u just feed his delusions

[@SammaclauseGamgee]

Saying this before watching: Id prefer an edgelord to a weeaboo. I was an edgelady as a teen, and weeaboos made me feel uncomfortable then and now lol Edit: edgelady. I liked vampires, but thought Twilight was an insult to vampires and really dug Hellsing. You know, the quality vampires 😂

[@ArcCaravan]

Ah, Hellsing. You know, a real $

[@AlexisTheDragon]

Nice lol. Hey I believe in freedom, if they can't make the save, that's the game, not all pvp has to be killing the other players. This is also hilarious.

[@Bo4is]

Aight i get dnd is mostly to play out fantasys and get into interesting charcters with intereating perspectives. And if id run into a guy like the weeb here id be like "hes a little odd but sure let him have his fun" if hed do it in game as in with npcs but when ya try to force your fantasy onto a different player thats just wrong and ya deserve to be called and kicked out.

[@KuzuTomoki]

Nonono, I fully disagree with the prognosis. Socializing people is important, especially for older people closer to or already in adulthood, and that socialization has to be done with/among peers. A collective activity like DnD is the perfect place to help someone struggle with social situations in a safe place. That's not to say that I know for sure that socialization is what this guy needed, or if that's what the DM's had in mind or even if the rest of the party was showing interest in helping with that endeavor. I just am sick of the notion that people with issues need to be excommunicated until they sort things out with a therapist- as if communities like this aren't an extremely crucial part in rounding out people. If you know people who need help, HELP THEM! Stop looking down your noses at them, that's the attitude that creates the worst corners of society.

[@ArcCaravan]

The point boils down to not letting people excuse inexcusable behavior by claiming "mental issues" while blaming people who didn't want to be someone's stress ball. Just have to avoid the extremes of "denying any player with issues" and "players having issues justifies everything".

[@Dinoshadow6]

Nice

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

Glad you liked it!

[@A_literal_cat_that]

okay the weeb is bad and we weebs don't claim him, but that edge lord sounds like a furry lol

[@marley7868]

no the dm here is just in the wrong they only come in to descalate when dave is picked on not when he instigates shit also the author here is kinda of spinless seriously your apologizing acting against inexcusable behavior

[@ArcCaravan]

More like acting incompetently at inexcusable behavior. Could have been more effective than prank wars and PvP, like directly questioning DM and fellow players on kitsune's scummy behavior being allowed while denying anyone else opposing him.

[@melvin2654]

I think I'm first comment and if not gg to whoever is

[@lootgoblinmarketplace]

You’re here first!

[@adri745k]

Poggers

[@mikexmikex]

Hard to take an "Edgelord" serious when they act like a White Knight, and throw around words like cancel, rapey, cringe, and neckbeard.

[@ArcCaravan]

Hard to take an edgelord serious in general.

[@OdelyxRa]

Dave literally was all of those things. And he said early on that he grew out of being boring and edgy. Seriously did you read this story with your eyes closed and ear plugs in?

[@Gottaculat]

Never enable. Frankly, I'm not a fan of romances in D&D. I don't want to sit there during role play listening to some weird fake date or something. If you want romance, go date IRL, get your heart broken, grow as a man, and learn by trial and error that women are not some sort of property (unless you live in an Islamic country, in which case disregard), but they are people, with their own lives, own desires, fears, hopes, and dreams. Sure, they are nonsensical, and can be outright infuriating at times, but that's life. Not everyone will agree with you on everything all the time, nobody is perfect, but if you're both willing to sacrifice for the other, and understand a relationship is built on trust, honesty, and clear communication, you will both flourish. To me, RP time in D&D is a group thing where the group takes care of stuff like free exploration, preparation for the next adventure, interacting with NPCs to further progress the story, etc. Things like romance and shopping are better left for outside the session, as it's insanely boring sitting there on the one day a week you finally have free time to listen to some cringe pervert try to act out his gross fantasies. Seriously, if you wanna do that, get a VR headset and play VR Chat. Leave it the f out of D&D. We've found in our own sessions that shopping also wastes a ton of people's time, and is better done in a D&D shopping Discord side channel with the DM, but made visible to everyone, because sometimes a new character will join, and be under equipped, and not have much gold. It's a good opportunity for players like me to have their character donate some funds to ensure the new guy can get the items he needs, because our group is all about making sure we go in prepped af. The other day, I dropped about 10K GP on the new guys, as my character is level 15 (we started at 1 almost 2 years ago), and he's literally a gold dragon who lost everything (was also cursed to dragonborn form), and has rebuilt his horde, sitting on about 80K GP (after spending 10K GP), and even owns an inn in Waterdeep generating passive income. The character is on a redemption arc to lift the curse, and has taken it upon himself to be the party body guard (and does it extremely well, being an echo knight with pole arm master and sentinel feats). No way is he letting an ally go into the final battle ill-equipped, even if it's a new guy. Maybe I'm just the combat guy. I've played every 5E class, many of each sub class, and echo knight fighter is just my jam. I don't care much for RP finding it boring or annoying. However, if it's battle prep, or going on a hunt with my ranger friend to make elk/deer jerky for the party, that's a ton of fun, as our DM knows we like to do this, and will plop a clue to a side quest, or even roll to see if we stumble upon treasure. Since both of us are playing characters trying to do good (my guy is lawful neutral - was lawful evil until cursed by Bahamut, and the ranger is chaotic good), we always report our findings to the rest of the party so they can join in. Wouldn't be fair to them if we just went off for an hour on a side quest, eating into the 8 hour session, or kept all the treasure to ourselves. Like I was saying, I don't get the appeal of romance or weird fetish role play in D&D. Every time I hear about it, it's a horror story that brings unnecessary tension and drama to what is supposed to be an escape from the drama and tension of real life. Maybe this is why I now exclusively play with married people and MGTOW guys. We have a guy who's wife has a girl's night out each week while he games with the boys (they are a very cute couple, and that kind of consistency is good for a marriage), and we have a married woman in our group whom, I don't really know anything about, but she seems like a well-adjusted conservative woman with a loving husband, and the rest of us are well-adjusted enough to know it's poor taste to flirt with her character... and frankly, her lady warlock (witch?) character is kinda scary, so nobody wants to, anyway, lol! I myself am almost 40, and my wild years are behind me. Our cleric I think is married, and he's, well, the engineer type. Quiet, unbelievably intelligent (dude's a biophysicist IRL who experiments with robotics as a hobby), and very humble. The DM and our sorcerer have a little bit of a weird bromance thing going, where the guy keeps making anime waifu dommy-mommy characters that try to queer-bang the DM's big-titttied NPC beauties. Kinda weird, but it never gets creepy, just weird. Any sex that's had, the DM is like, "They spend the night fooling around and having fun," and that's about it. So over all, pretty tame. Our cleric and I get along well, as we're both above genius I.Q. bracket, and get to talk about stuff out of session the others either don't get or aren't interested in. I admit, though, while he's never told me how smart he is, he makes me feel like a retard by comparison at times. I like it, because he points out things I get wrong, and it gives me a chance to correct myself and grow as person. That, and our characters' synergy is really good, as we're both tanks (his cleric's AC is something like 26, and my fighter's AC is 21 with 183 HP at level 15), I run interference and do area of denial with my echo knight, while he boosts the party temp HP, and does heals. His Cleric is no joke up close, as he has the legendary war hammer, "Scatterheart." I like the combat side of D&D, and he likes the RP side of D&D. He also knows the rules of 5E inside and out, and has often corrected the DM about certain mechanics or rules, which the DM loves, as our DM prefers his players know how to play 5E. Only house rule the DM has is that using a health potion may be done with a bonus action. This is because he runs very intense fights, and feels that using a whole turn to drink a potion disrupts the flow of battle. We all love this house rule, even our encyclopedic cleric. Well, I'm jabbering. The more I hear horror stories about sexual deviance in D&D, the more I'm glad my group steers away from it, mostly. We usually accept some of it if it plays into the plot, and the DM is good about that. Well, keep rollin' those 20s, and hopefully you guys find a good group. Just one last thing, my DM is a recovering alcoholic, and I was in a campaign where he was crazy drunk prior to his rehab, and in that session, he did I think 10 tabs of acid? His brain kept resetting, going in a time loop where he only remembered the first 10 minutes after taking the tabs, and it repeated like that for like 2 hours or something. I never saw anything like it. This is online, of course, not in person, but wow, that was crazy. I'm glad that we talked him into going to rehab. He's been sober for over a year. Remember, relationships produce what you put into it. I could have bailed, but a good friend tries to help if his buddy is hurting. Barely knew the guy, but now we're homies, as he'd say. Treat your DM well, especially a forever DM who's good at his craft. Please, spare them the drama, if you can.

[@scasimir1000]

Not a big fan of his side thoughts, I would personally prefer if you just stuck to the story itself stop adding in those extra things that's unnecessary

[@purpsponge9059]

I used to sleep to 40k lore, DND micro lore is my new melatonin 🫡😴