Cringey RPer Repeatedly Fails to Romance OP (Or Anyone Else)

[@CritCrab]

Yo! good to be back! Gonna start uploading regularly again for a little bit. Thanks to ExpressVPN for helping keep the lights on. Go to www.expressvpn.com/critcrab and find out how you can get 3 months of ExpressVPN free!

[@jekichaniago5273]

Welcome back King!

[@QuestForTacos]

Happy to have you back! I hope you and yours are well. Also, thank you for combating my tinnitus at night!

[@bobertastic6541]

Based sponsor timestamper

[@lin0bean084]

welcome back! ur the only person i listen to these days u have such a good reading voice!

[@Speedx67]

I miss the crab noises when you pop into frame

[@Blackferret66]

Guard: "Sorry, I'm married." Trouble: "Oh come on.... they won't know. We can have a good time." Guard: "To him. (points at other guard)

[@benhramiak8781]

Im using this in a game haha

[@rodrigossgardelis7384]

Nah it wouldn’t work, the guy was too unhinged. He would probably have said: Bring your husband/wife as well, the more the merrier.

[@benhramiak8781]

@@rodrigossgardelis7384 depends on the player.

[@rodrigossgardelis7384]

@@benhramiak8781 It does but I am talking about the specific guy mentioned in the story. If he had no problems roleplaying NSFW stuff to a 14 year old character and even worse to a 17 year old player.There’s no way an in game inconvenience would stop him.

[@benhramiak8781]

@@rodrigossgardelis7384 yeah, good point. Need to vet players to an extent

[@pumpkinicing]

man, i really needed this today! got the courage to leave my manipulative bf today, he tried to gaslight me, and he kept trying to sneak his fetishes into our d&d games. so this is perfect timing for the day I'm having

[@chairliftphilospher5710]

Hope you have good buddies/family to support you, and I hope you start feeling better.

[@deepsoft7829]

Congrats on getting out of the trap! I hope everything gets better for ya, be strong 💪💪

[@everlastingdragon4520]

* offers digital hugs *

[@autumnsilverwinds4990]

Congrats! It takes a lot of courage to walk away from those situations, Im proud of you random stranger. You did good, and dont let anyone tell you different

[@neekoorso]

Congrats!!!!

[@Ash-V]

If Trouble had focused solely on NPCs, I'd have said it was just an excuse to flirt with/fluster his boyfriend. As soon as it turned to other PCs, I no longer had any idea what his goal was. Then it got worse.

[@DinisBernardo-nu6hv]

Cool pfp

[@Araidiara]

@@DinisBernardo-nu6hv li'l rat pizza

[@eesedesesesrdtsuperjoshuab7907]

The idea of the party using the “rizz attacks” as snack and bathroom breaks is so funny to me. “Oh no, trouble is rizzing up John again, I’m gonna go take a piss”

[@SillyRobot]

Lmao, this comment is amazing.

[@viderevero1338]

Whole session seemed pretty humorous and mildly annoying until the....end section. 😅

[@bingbongwahoo-ov1ip]

"someone's being sexually harassed by the same guy who does this literally every time we see him, oh well, better just walk away from this situation" Jesus dude

[@Kek393]

This isn't even "never meeting a woman" moment this is just a straight up "what is wrong with you" moment.

[@derpaderpy4931]

Story 2: Art is already an amazing player if he's able to use the DM warning of "Are you sure you want to do this?" ON the DM.

[@animeotaku307]

That was such a power move.

[@BlueMerStudios]

I got the biggest grin when I heard that!

[@Zorothegallade-gg7zg]

"You dare use my own spells against me, Potter?"

[@Araidiara]

better yet? REMEMBER THAT THIS IS HIS FIRST CAMPAIGN!

[@derpaderpy4931]

@@Araidiara Hence why I used the word "already."

[@M_Alexander]

You'd think a player flirting with NPCs when dating the DM wouldn't be _that_ bad but...

[@TheNewRedOne]

5:21 I never ever thought I'd hear someone utter the phrase "DnD sex% speedrun"... Congrats, Crab, have a thumbs up.

[@stupidhead_2812]

The Baldur's Gate 3 Sex% speedrun with Lae'zel definitely made it more prevalent

[@rossjohnstone4689]

Our crabking has returned! So nice to see you again :3

[@elminweatherbee7672]

Yay!

[@changingpeopleslivesmoon2993]

Yay!

[@Old-eye-of-truth]

Yay!

[@noisehero4409]

Yay!

[@medusanebulae5048]

Yay!

[@12SickOne34]

3:44 "General Kenobi", the Guard answered.

[@Nbird16]

The Guard then draws four swords. Roll Initiative!

[@JustFilmAlready]

I see your likes is at 66 so I’m going to respect that and just give a comment 😂

[@user-vv9yj3vu2e]

Dats great

[@starbird3939]

Story 1 We have couples at our table, we don’t act fucking weird and we don’t date underaged characters. If anyone tried that, they be gone-no ifs ands or buts

[@MinscShip]

we have the same rule but are from europe and the age is 16 here however if 1 player so no then it is no end of story

[@thefonz8373]

Personally never been one to play with a couple. Because it gets messy real quick.. it very rarely is not a horror story. Even if they weren't being weird, their relationship dynamics quickly start interfering with the game. DND is an intense personal story for everyone involved. People tend to put some part of themselves in their characters. So it is almost inevitable for real life to bleed in to the game. The one time I did play with a couple, they were being insufferable at the table. Making googly eyes at each other, only caring about each other and not engaging other players in the party and the woman would get unnecessarily defensive about who the guy talked to. I had rolled a female character and I was playfully flirting with his character and she got visibly irritated with me.. The funny thing is, I am a dude and this guy wasn't even Bi! So she saw problem where literally none existed. Left the game, when she out of pocket decided to challenge my character for a one on one duel to see who got to be the rightful "wife"? Completely grossed me out and I just walked away, both in and out of character. Swore to never join a table with a couple ever again

[@MinscShip]

@@thefonz8373 you know the last 10 year i have been in 2 group with my wife, and i never got wierd, we have a simple rule what happen in rollplaying stay in rollplaying

[@sirkiken]

@@thefonz8373 I've heard very similar things about playing w/couples. The one couple I paly with are super close friend and have been since before they were dating. They started dating in high school and we're all in our mid-30's now so thankfully we don' t have any of those issues.

[@thefonz8373]

@@sirkiken That's nice. I feel like maybe older couples who are in their 30s would be more secure, so they probably are fun to play with.

[@michaeljebbett160]

I'm a dude whoplays a female character in one of my campaigns. My group often makes the mistake of referring to my character as "he," not always able to separate me from my character. It's kinda become a running joke in the group, to the point where she sometimes gets indignant about being misgendered.

[@WhyYouMadBoi]

Yeah playing a female dwarf character in a game not in 5e. Basically made her like Dr. Ms. Monarch deep voice and a smoker

[@dr3dg352]

That would always upset me growing up. O_O Now that I've grown into an openly trans woman, it would irk me even more if it happened. 😅

[@Banana-xk1gs]

@@dr3dg352 idk if it was recent, but just in case congrats 👏❤

[@dr3dg352]

@@Banana-xk1gs Hey thank you so much!! 😊💜

[@knownevildoer]

​@@dr3dg352 congrats!

[@DaDMonDCB]

This is why the best approach to flirting is to talk to players about what their character is or isn't willing to do. I always ask privately before attempting to engage another character in a romance arc.

[@bobertastic6541]

also probably not doing it to someone OVER A DECADE YOUNGER THAN YOU

[@Floweramon]

"What's more pathetic than having the power of a God and failing anyway?" Damn now that's a line!

[@CandyChaos7]

Trouble: WHY WON'T YOU DATE ME?! 👁💋👁 Gohan: Uhhhh... *Confused*😕

[@changingpeopleslivesmoon2993]

That " why won't you date me" reminds me of a meme lol

[@kingsloth1121]

I need an adult

[@not_umbre]

​@@changingpeopleslivesmoon2993 "why won't you adopt me?!" "BECAUSE YOU'RE BLA-"

[@changingpeopleslivesmoon2993]

@@not_umbre lol that s the one

[@animeotaku307]

@@kingsloth1121”I am an adult.”

[@Calebgoblin]

"The worst she can say is no" Ah, but have you considered being your own worst enemy

[@LordSvzklx]

“You can’t be attracted to him, he doesn’t have the Intelligence or Charisma for it!” And judging by how you reacted to rejection, creepy DM, neither do you…

[@bestpriest2224]

I actually physically repulsed hearing the kid was 17 and the guy was 27. My god.

[@eggy6815]

Crit crab intros be like: “This story is about the most vile, degenerate edge lord sociopath you’ll ever see, there are reclusive incels who haven’t even touched another human let alone a woman who have better manners than this guy!…. Oh and also here’s todays sponsor :)”

[@user-cs4su3ng9l]

Can someone remind me a studio Ghibli setting book he recommended i cant find it

[@revenantravings]

Obojima Tales from the Tall Grass!

[@serathaevistille995]

'Well, maybe my character just likes big, strong dumb guys.' That is such a perfect response to the utter nonsense the DM spouted before that, lmao.

[@djphoenix279]

Right? Gotta love himbos too (like Kronk from The Emperor’s New Groove) 😁❤️

[@SSYX336]

"Have you ever tried flirting with someone" nope, guess I can't watch this video

[@GhostBear3067]

No go ahead, learn what not to do.

[@Araidiara]

might this be a fellow ace?

[@SSYX336]

@@Araidiara Sorry, I am not ace, just really bad at flirting

[@killer_queen4062]

​@@Araidiara fellow aro ace here ^.^

[@ismailabaza411]

@@GhostBear3067I mean you don’t need to watch the video to understand that flirting with a minor is awful

[@oneghost1257]

Remember everyone! If you cringe at a memory its because you've grown as a person since then! Sincerely, someone who knows time travel won't be invented during their lifetime because they don't have any childhood memories of being slapped upside the head by a strangely familiar adult.

[@techstorezombie9316]

Trouble is a huge creep, but the entire table is to blame here. This behavior only continues WHEN NOBODY SAYS ANYTHING. There's a difference between brushing him off in character and sitting there uncomfortably, and standing up saying "You NEED to stop, this is unacceptable behavior." Half of these D&D horror stories wouldn't happen it SOMEBODY, SPOKE, UP.

[@trip9845]

ya they get no sympathy from me

[@GreatestRedPanda]

Had to scroll too far to find this. OP makes it pretty clear that at no point does anybody ever actually confront Trouble for his behaviour. I haven't got a lot of sympathy for the "wow look at how uncomfortable this weirdo is making everyone feel, but let's definitely never ever address it or call him out at any point during the huge number of sessions we have with him on a regular basis, and instead just post about it on some forum like we aren't allowing it to happen". Christ, yes Troubles behaviour is problematic, but if you never have the guts to address it, you are as much the problem yourself.

[@jolteon345]

I think part of the problem was that Trouble and the DM were dating at the time. It becomes dangerous territory where you can risk a player that’s actively attached to the DM blowing up the whole game, or even forcing the DM to kick you out. This is mostly failed by the DM, you don’t start a game with your partner, whether it’s as players or a player and a DM, if you both can’t agree that the game is the game and doesn’t actively effect your relationship unless something really screwed up happens. If the DM is unwilling to step in outside of sliding him out of scene or “Surprise! Orcs!”, it will tell the players that they can’t speak up or do anything.

[@CocoWantsACracker]

If there are minors at the table, I feel seduction should be banned from the table by the DM at session zero. I'm a guy who frequently plays female characters, because for some reason my roleplaying is more accurate for females than males, whether I play a con artist bard, a righteous fighter or a disrespectful thief. Whenever I hear about a male player making a female character to live out some sexual fantasy, it bothers me, especially when nobody at their table wants them to. I feel people like them make others suspicious of me when I say I tend to play female characters. Fortunately, two of my three groups treat my characters hardly any differently than if they were male, and I managed to educate the other group by telling them TWICE that I was not OK with their SA roleplay and it was a hard limit for me.

[@icelessgreen6160]

I remember the first time I played as a woman in dnd and the *concern* I heard in other players voices when they asked "oh you're playing a woman?" Thankfully this went away when I explained my PC was a granny getting back into the adventuring life after many years, and not some awful fantasy, but I still remember how they sounded

[@emirsoysal9364]

%80 of my characters are female as a male player, never had a problem with another player. And luckily one player asked if its okay if his character tried to flirt with her. That’s communication and must happen on every table. Additionally, i never tried to seduce an NPC or PC. This is DND not doki doki literature club 😂

[@Max_G4]

​@@emirsoysal9364 I agree on the communication part. But judging by the last sentence, you probably haven't played Doki Doki Literature Club if you say that like it's a Dating Sim.

[@emirsoysal9364]

@@Max_G4 i played, yes it’s not just a dating sim it is “creepy dating horror” which a DnD game could turn into 😅

[@ValeriaPegasus]

Story 2: Let's imagine for a second that Art's fighter actually died and the GM was comfident on "now I can keep my moves on Jen" and at the eno of the session, Art an Jen just go have dinner at some place GM can't control

[@Necrodancer1312]

Man it's a bad day to be a D&D player whose main recurring character is named Trouble.

[@gecko2.617]

reminds of a minotaur called Trouble, but I am not sure where got that from, only that it is either a Manga or a Novel... 😅

[@Necrodancer1312]

@@gecko2.617 in my case it's a tiefling Bard I've been playing in some form or another for like eight years that uses Trouble as their virtue name lol

[@kaekaeno]

At first I was like "thank god the guy didn't romance the 14 yo they had to smuggle". Oh boy, did I think too soon...

[@tamar7065]

That thumbnail is a hell of a crossover fanfic waiting to happen

[@1Pidds]

I never entertained the idea of April May from Ace Attorney hitting on Son Gohan but here we are now

[@kcollier2192]

" Have I ever told you the definition of cringe?" Vas Montenegro, probably

[@gecko2.617]

"Have you ever heard of the legend of Trouble the incel? I thought not, it is not the kind of story the good players tell. He was so weird and bad, even his boyfriend DM was weirdet out by this guy!" - Sir CritCrab, Dark Lord of the Crabs -

[@bnsz8704]

Crab: “have you ever flirted with anyone…” Me: “no😎”

[@AgtPaper665]

I have only ever IC flirted once. OOC: We dated for 6ish months. Ended amicably. Stayed in touch and kept playing in group. IC: Our characters have been canonically married for the past 300+ years of our divergent DnD group's timelines, with three lovely, werewolf daughters (it's complicated).

[@primeemperor9196]

DM: "Why do you like him? He's dumb and has no rizz!" Jen: "Joke's on you, that's exactly what I'm into!"

[@marybdrake1472]

Wow Jen parry bullied that DM like they were a Crucible Knight in Elden Ring. 😆😆 With just one successful parry no less. Also, did anyone teach Trouble the definition of insanity? That might help, maybe.

[@AlienDude51]

"My character likes big, strong, dumb guys" Finally, a person with good taste!

[@enchanter1102]

Art studied the whole player handbook and made sure to watch plenty of videos so he knew how to be a good player. Be more like Art.

[@noisehero4409]

Easy way to combat this and make it aware, saying something when it happens. When you say no and in character they continue, get out of character and make apparent how weird/uncomfortable the situation makes you. Understandable with OP not, but anyone else at the table. People will only get angrier if they think no one has a problem and then the “oh NOW you have a problem with it?” situations arise which I’m sure is one of the biggest worries people have. Imo I’d rather someone be grumbly mad and see if they change or fallout naturally. Especially since they were the odd man out in the situation.

[@SugaredViolette]

100 sand dollars for referencing the "breasted boobily down the stairs" meme

[@BlaineSimple]

THE CRAB IS BACK 🦀🦀🦀

[@Wraice619]

6:25 "But you're making it so hard." That's definitely what he's trying to do. 😂

[@justicedunham4088]

8:25 “Why don’t you take a seat right over there?” Or “FBI! Open up!!”

[@TheBonkleFox]

the repeatedly batting eyelashes would have been hilarious if the guard interpreted it as some sort of coded message.

[@sethbennedetti753]

When did D&D horror stories turn into the Catch a Predator

[@king_life_master2868]

You know with how many time I hear the word trouble I couldn't stop hearing that song that was like "I knew you were trouble when you walked in"

[@themanhimself5650]

the first story was gross. i have had a player like that and it was so awkward. as DM, the second one of my players felt uncomfortable i leaped on the opportunity to kick him before thing could get any stranger than it already was. its distasteful, and should be avoided. be careful fellow adventures, have fun

[@chairliftphilospher5710]

8:28 is when most of my female characters would murder his character, fearing for their safety. One of them in particular would do it sooner because she would rather be friends with animals, one might do it later cos she's more live and let live long as no one gets hurt. 10:27 is when they'd all DEFINITELY murder trouble's character to protect OP's 14 YEAR OLD character.

[@yabe-kfptentacultist]

Wake up crabs, new CritCrab upload!

[@ralseibutitsacat8169]

Never thought I’d see gohan and that one chick from ace attorney in the same thumbnail

[@therealDeaddogg]

The idea of a 20 minute break for snacks and rpdating hit’s different

[@gwammeh]

Always a good day when there's CritCrab to listen to

[@BEAN__MAN]

am i the only one who clicked because i saw gohan 💀

[@SeventhGod77]

“I need an adult” “I am an adult~” *knees child in stomach*

[@LasagnaQueen]

"What's more pathetic than having the power of a God and failing anyway?" 🥶🥶🥶 Let him cook!

[@cabbage_cat]

2nd story is so satisfying, Art got that main character energy

[@jamesscott305]

I hope Jen & Art have a happy campaign together for life 💚

[@bigman4]

“Maybe I just like himbos” is so real

[@seleckt6600]

Damn bro, I need to start taking notes on how to make a female character. All of mine end up as a muscle mommy barbarian. Kinda woman who can help you pillage a village. Apparently I been doing it wrong.

[@irisdaniels2318]

that first creepy player really went: "i uhh.. i like em younger. as young as possible 👹"

[@Toshinegawa]

Gotta say, Jen's reply was savage AF towards the DM while also showing her loyalty to Art. I ship it!

[@KumiChan2004]

To be fair. One of my characters is a new goddess. She fumbles around and fails often. But she's a 13 year old child and still learning.

[@davidarmstrong1617]

Oh thank god you're back! I'm getting so tired of Crispy's Tavern and his lame little skits interrupting the stories. All hail CritCrab! So thankful you're back.

[@ckinggaming5bucketmadness766]

Never thought I’d hear “rizz attacks”

[@jamesyoung7400]

The unsung problem from the second story was the DM saying the fighter's intelligence and Charisma was very low. I'm 100% positive that one of them was an 8 and the other was 10. That is not low that is literally average. This is an issue that pops up all the time and its primarily an issue with player that have joined in under WotC's control of D&D. I see people acting like someone with an 10 strength is feeble or a 8 con as being bed sickly and practically bed ridden. I just strikes a nerve with me.

[@NifIheim]

I am currently at the first Ace Attorney game, beginning of episode 4 and trust me: that April May thumbnail fits perfectly.

[@hw2471]

Awesome video! Always happy to see an upload!

[@VladimirVonCarstein]

that guy in the first story just roleplayed as kris tyson, thats wild 💀

[@windyrockbell3814]

It's interesting how many Bad DM stories could theoretically be reversed to compelling stories. Imagining a good DM doing a "The BBEG is obsessed with this character and will be super mad to find out she's flirting with someone else."

[@AlastorNahIdWinRadioDemon]

On the second story: The reason newer DMs try to do things in a way where they look like its not them being wrong is because the new age DMs are narcissts and manipulators who also need to try and look good in addition to getting what they want. Older DMs didn’t care about looking good because they weren’t manipulators, they were just assholes. Hope that helps explain it.

[@dorianrpg]

Great to hear from you again. Hope all is well with you and yours.

[@Jay_Playz2019]

Can we get a round of applause for the first DM for trying their (mostly) best to shut it down? Also Arthur for looking in to how to play D&D well.

[@cbohnstedt4477]

I like Sudden Orc Attack as a response to repeated and unwelcome in character flirting.

[@Ben-zr4ho]

My dogs name is Trouble. His antics are next level as well... He doesnt hump the couch nearly as much though.

[@oo-vivian]

Does he hit on underage couches?

[@dr3dg352]

These are my favorite stories of yours in a while! 😄 Reminds me of the older videos that made you become my first subscribed to channel.

[@DiXtionRap]

While it could come of like a repative anime trope, if you had an exceptionally funny player and DM where the player character's schtick was being shut down brutally it could possibly work, the shock of hitting a nat 20 and the absurd things they could come up with as the result in contrast to every failure

[@Busta4Life]

holy hell this almost feels like that one guy we had on our rp group. not really d&d but still the same style of rping and stuff. the amount of times he'd get into erotic roleplays with my group members was smth else. hell he even got banned for erotic roleplaying one time because.. roblox..

[@vrcxdc3623]

Wait, i remember word for word last story about "my char likes big dumb guys" Was it here before?

[@Radicalbeast]

alot of the dnd horror story youtubers wnd up having similar stories as people copy paste it and repost it around only changing a few details for a moment of fame.

[@kiddkasket5305]

Oh no. The title tells me I'm not prepared 😬

[@takaw.d8486]

Ive had a Girl constantly try to flirt with me mid Dnd sesh, it was weird asf and took the boys telling me to realize this, honestly i didnt care, i just wanted to be a racist high elf man

[@marcruth4531]

"Maybe I like big, strong, dumb guys" has all the energy I love about Birgitte Silverbow in Wheel of Time being attracted to the ugliest mugs dudes can possibly have XD

[@alarkhar]

Honestly, there is worse horny players than Trouble - I know, because I had a teammate that literally went after everything "gender compatible". No one was safe: not the other players, not the enemies, no matter what race they were, not even inanimate objects. Yes, not even those... dude ended up having his way with a female bas relief on a castle wall! We literally had to drag him away THREE TIMES as he kept going back and trying to do the deed with that poor innocent marble sculpture!

[@JustFilmAlready]

Yaaayyy welcome back. I’m new just started watching earlier in the year and I binged all of your old videos lol was wondering if you were done or just taking a break. Glad it was the latter I really enjoy your content ❤

[@eliascabbio7598]

Every time I hear that DMs or players act mean to each other because they are jealous of other people relationships, I genuinely smile, it's so funny. Like, what's the plan? What is a bunch of click clack plastic rocks and the theater of the mind gonna do to achieve your romantic goals?

[@Random_Chiroptera]

The purpose of D&D? To explore a good story of adventure and friendship.

[@snaps_and_caps]

I enjoy watching this channel even though I have never touched a TTRPG game in my life. I online RP, like forums and such, and your videos are still all-too relateable 😔. appreciate ya

[@Karmasu_L]

I wonder of the anti predatory orc summons can be weaponized somehow. Like during a difficult fight in order to divide the attention of the enemy. 🤣

[@marcogypaetus9607]

The idea of a character that's been cursed so that anytime they try hitting on anyone they just inexplicably summon a gang of orcs is extremely funny

[@gecko2.617]

Finally, our lord and savior, the king of crabs, master of the horror stories and critical successes, CritCrab has returned with a new story! ❤

[@deadzone4033]

"I *bats eye* can't *bats eye* understand *bats eye* Your Accent!" - Trouble (probably)

[@briangang3977]

Brian gang, rise up an welcome Crit back!

[@indagarbage35]

The forever dm and the trouble player dating should've been big bang theory's plot

[@RhiannonSmudge]

The crab has returned! 🦀 Glad to see you back with DnD stories

[@fil-_-]

Thank god I found your channel, I know what to watch when bored now

[@craigwapples4200]

Glad to see this crab didn’t get boiled this summer 😂

[@comettamer]

Happy days! Hail, the king of KZbin RPG horror story posts!

[@-Ditto300-]

Hardest line I've heard today 19:43

[@winrope4814]

I like when KZbin doesn't send recommendations from the channels I'm subscribed to

[@MaybeAnnatar]

Thinking about how in the last game I played in I knew another PC would try to romance my PC so I made her canonically 16 and a lesbian just to avoid it.

[@Michael-lt9ti]

New crab here. I know the pain of waiting patiently for a crab video to come out now😂😅

[@TheFatalcrest]

XD 10:31 i paused to steel my soul for the horrors i must endure.

[@sinedddmk8996]

13:30 I love that Art chose the standard newby race-class combo, which of corse he would being a dude that came didnt know about dnd and just came from the army. It just sounds like this time, it fit!