Neckbeard Calls His Mom On Our Group, And Things Get Weird

if he and his mom got married would she be called a gife or a wom?
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[@CritCrab]

CRITCRAB PLUSH OUT NOW www.makeship.com/products/crit-crab-plush

[@plinko-moss]

Crab

[@LasagnaQueen]

King Crab now introducing; King Cute :D

[@insertname4929]

plush is doing so well, nice!

[@MitteyTheWolf]

I'm going to commit Crab Rangoon. Priceless.

[@danny089-theodeoron4]

Dude that story... Thankfully i was drunk but I felt nauseous when you told it... by the way I'm new sub, I like your stories, they discourage me every day from seeking DnD groups to play with hahahaha... just kidding, but seriously... incest much? AAAA! And your question "if he and his mom got married would she be called a gife or a wom?" Me: NO.... just NO! (Girly screams heard down the corridor as he tries to escape the Matrix)

[@Crocogator]

"Time spent having sex is time wasted not holding up a bank." Rango's got their priorities straight.

[@pedropalito7117]

sigma grindset

[@alyssinclair8598]

I have never felt love for an rpg character I'll neither play with nor play like this before

[@scyobiempire4450]

Quotes to live by

[@professeurgideere5856]

You mean, Rango aced up their priorities.

[@Crocogator]

@@professeurgideere5856 ayyyyy

[@screm1471]

“oh man that’s bad, but i’m sure that’s the worst of it and i’m positive it will get b… why are there 12 minutes left.”

[@Calebgoblin]

Hhorshfjgjk I KNOW

[@tnexus13]

I've just hit that point. What on earth am I in for?

[@thecasualaussie3990]

You good sir are preaching to the choir

[@kanekikingstorm2113]

I got more concerned when I saw I had nine minutes left, and Crit is like “if you thought that’s the end, it’s not.”

[@WobblesandBean]

HOW DID IT GET WORSE

[@Leiliel1]

OP: "I'm calling her Jocasta from now on." Everybody Who Has Studied Greek Myth: *feeling that Thanatos is looming over your shoulder*

[@unluckyone1655]

I literally paused the video when i heard that. I still remember going over that play in highschool and i was hoping that that nickname was NOT warrented. But alas, even hope was not enough to cusion my psyche from that blow

[@pwnorbepwned]

Meanwhile, I had to envision his mom looking like Jocasta Nu from Star Wars. W H Y .

[@Mandalore-The-Chef]

@@pwnorbepwned same

[@dprice1291]

*me hearing the name Jocasta*: Ha, that's still a little harsh. Sounds like a spoiled child with behavioral issues, not incest. me, two minutes later: .... Oh.

[@Undeadsloth_0]

@@pwnorbepwned You're not the only one.

[@TheNormExperience]

“Until GM shouts, ‘AYO!’ and starts running.” Wise man - That’s the kind of guy you want to be with in a horror film. Cuz if this doesn’t count as absolute horror...idk what does...

[@spectralumbra1568]

There need to be more horror films where someone just walks in on something terrifying, says "nope," and just walks away. Roll credits.

[@loturzelrestaurant]

@@spectralumbra1568 RANDOM Recommendation? Sure, if you beg for it, you shall have it ('m joking): -Neil Red. -Hbomberguy. -Sir Sic. -Dream. Just some fun guys i wanna do unpaid advertisement for, ya know?

[@josephwilliams2406]

My man's was like, bruh we need to go

[@alexvalentine5091]

12:17

[@DAsrada]

Well yeah. They were having D&D with Norman Bates.

[@NicholasJScott]

OKAY the time GM said "AYO!" I fucking laughed, I love how the party just bounce the fuck out and ran for it..I LOVE IT, I JUST LOVE HOW THEY ALL KNEW TO NOPE THAT FUCK OUT!!

[@AuntLoopy123]

YES! I LOVE how the team came together there. Fully supporting each other, problem solving, and just acting like absolute ROCK STARS.

[@ashannahensley3288]

If they were ever in a horror movie, you know that group is the probably the only ones that'd survive.

[@Jonboy2312]

As an artist illustrating every session our group plays, AND using a "sort of anime-ish style".... I want to punch Edgy's player in the mouth for giving us artists a bad name :(

[@Eli_Guy]

Same, mate

[@hatcatmoby8893]

I have a very similar style. Regardless of whether or not it's for hentai, you do NOT base it on real people without their consent! You do not cross that line!

[@injetavel279]

It's actually a pretty common style, I don't think one weird dude will give it a bad image

[@CogSpartan]

Burn your supplies except for the paper, take up origami. This is the safest way not to draw edgy snogging his mom

[@Jonboy2312]

@@CogSpartan Ew. Nope, not going there! Sure, Tales From the Tables is all about poking at D&D tropes, sometimes making fun of cringy players too, but that's WAY too far. There's nothing funny in this, it's only cringe. And that just doesn't make for a good comic...

[@Kintaro316]

"i'm going to commit crab rangoon" And im now spending 10 minutes cleaning the cola spew from laughter from across my monitor!

[@freyjablue.]

That got me too 🤣

[@davidegaruti2582]

i don get it

[@badgerwijohnson4081]

@@davidegaruti2582 Crab Rangoon is an American Chinese dish, a cream cheese won-ton with crab meat and green onion. So I believe the crab is implying suicidal thoughts. BTW I love crab Rangoon, its awesome.

[@Kintaro316]

@@davidegaruti2582 Crab rangoon is a food. It would be the ultimate form of Sepaku for a crab.

[@WobblesandBean]

I was taking a sip of water when I got to that part. Ow, my nose 😂

[@rasenganknight]

Critcrab:"Put yourself there at the table" Me:"AAAWWWW, HELL NO"

[@DAsrada]

DO NOT SHOWER AT EDGY'S PLACE. Hear those strings?

[@hostiusasinhostilityhostil7853]

AYO!

[@justancomment4279]

I’m going to quote the grinch “I’ll take the seasick crocodile”

[@ender8124]

That "Ayo" was fucking perfect 😂

[@illiterategoose104]

For real no better reaction to that

[@darwinjones2059]

I know they were playing 5e but that reaction was straight out of Call of Cthulhu

[@Calebgoblin]

"the DM, thinking quickly..." Yeetus deletus

[@AF-tv6uf]

I could, at that point, imagine the actual freakout and wild flight that followed.

[@LittleMountain90]

"Motherfucker, we out!" except literally

[@calebmatthews9864]

"I'm going to be calling her Jocasta from now on" Me who's read Oedipus Rex

[@Mahrac126]

How the hell did I miss that reference.

[@stevemeisky8409]

Right? Like, I hear that, and I think "that is way too specific a nickname to be a coincidence...please be a coincidence...aw hell."

[@KnicKnac]

Me who has Psychology degree and knows terminology lost my lunch lol

[@unluckyone1655]

My lit class covered that play back in highschool, knowing that reference still didn't properly prepare me for what came next

[@ThePhantomSafetyPin]

"Jocasta, where do I remember that name fro- THERE IS IS D:"

[@mysteriousstranger6367]

A crustacean talking about neck beards is just what I needed this morning

[@johnnewton8897]

I thought the same exact thing when I saw the title of the video lol

[@TheseUseless]

He is a crustacean. But neck beards are crusty and obsessed with asians. Crustyasians.

[@hemberger91]

The crustacean sensation sweeping the nation

[@grumpycranestudio1475]

Stranger spitting facts.

[@heyitsbob4575]

P 0

[@commiecomrade2644]

That was far more intense than I was ready for lmao. When the warning about incest came I was thinking incest in someones RP or some shit. But nope. Just literal real life incest.

[@jaysonklein6018]

POSSIBLE incest... or just an older woman indulging a weirdo's Mommy fetish... Either way... weird.

[@АйдоралСмертестойкий]

- BUT MOM SHE DID NOT SEND NOODZ! - We have nudz at home, silly. - But mom... those are... those are yours... - Exactly. I would love to believe this story is not real. I will pretend so at least for my own safe sleep.

[@solouno2280]

I think that edgy had been sexually assaulted by his own mother all his life.

[@jinenjuce]

"Time spent having sex is time not spent driving a bank" Well, I appreciate the work ethic.

[@DietrichvonSachsen]

"I'm about to commit Crab Rangoon" may very well be the greatest phrase uttered on this channel. :D

[@jonathangordon1457]

I wanna see fan art of that

[@cam4636]

@@jonathangordon1457 Just as long as you don't demand he poses as your model...

[@TheSpellwright]

@@cam4636 jonathan here just wants to capture the highlight moment of the sess--er, video.

[@LasagnaQueen]

11:20 Me listening whilst doing 3D designs; "Heh, what an overly protective and enabling mom." King Crab: "-Kiss between lovers." Me: *Flips the 3D ship alongside the Viking girl I am making* "W H A T?!"

[@thegrandxbunny2073]

RIP boat.

[@Str8jacket192]

RIP Viking girl

[@ukrainianvictor5440]

Ah yes. The Oedipus player. Minus God complex. Multiply mom... ew. Also, this little mission impossible plan was excellent. XD

[@daddyernie2289]

i bet his little brother/son is the cyclops that lives in the attic

[@Nerobyrne]

not really, considering Oedipus had absolutely no way of knowing that he married his mother. That's kind of the whole point of the story. Just another thing Freud got wrong in his long list of things.

[@robert-janthuis9927]

@@Nerobyrne I mean, a bit of common sense would have probably prevented the whole situation. The old king of Thebes just so happened to die a couple of days before Oedipus shows up, as a stranger, about the age that the son of the old king and queen would have been had he not been exposed after his birth. There was a prophecy about what would happen. In fact, there was a second prophecy about the old king getting killed by his own son which was the reason for Oedipus being exposed in the first place. Prophecies in Ancient Greek Mythology ALWAYS come true, it is literally impossible for you to escape them.

[@Nerobyrne]

@@robert-janthuis9927 the story is designed to illustrate that, because he was sure he'd escaped it. STill though, this is a really bad story to pick in order to illustrate someone loving their own mother. 1. He only married her because he became king 2. He never sought out to marry her. in fact, he travelled to a different city to AVOID doing so.

[@littlebitches]

@@Nerobyrne all he had to do was marry an older woman

[@romancapulus5577]

Edgy: *Whines to his mother* Me: “Oh boy, is this going to be like that story with the edgelord who-“ Edgy: *Gets a kiss from Jocasta* Me: “Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope! Story’s over. Over. Done. Kaput.”

[@Pippin2luv]

As soon as I heard “I’m calling her Jocasta” I knew exactly where this was going and it felt like a horror movie, just waiting for the inevitable.

[@buffalo-checkbedsheets3246]

CritCrab: "Mentaly put youself there." Me: "No."

[@ceoofgrilledcheese3299]

I love you Rango. Idk if Rango is ace, but the “time spent having sex is time not being spent holding up a bank” line makes me wanna claim them

[@ceoofgrilledcheese3299]

Ope, I kept listening, and turns out, that was the intention. Love the representation Rango

[@scyobiempire4450]

I'm using that line. Not in game, in real life. Easy to explain to people who don't get that I'm Ase.

[@dionysus-sama6338]

My boy got his priorities in order

[@Stefisgarden]

Yup, hella ace vibes from that line, and I love it!

[@jaderade4662]

Idk, Rango was also kinda cringe and a problem. Not as bad, obviously, but still pretty bad.

[@redlikeroses1062]

Ok as a NSFW artist, two rules are paramount. Never draw minors and ALWAYS make sure the person is comfortable with their character or themselves being drawn. You NEVER draw suggestive content without permission. Rant over.

[@laineydoodles9297]

Amen! I'm also an NSFW artist and I would never ever do that to someone.

[@dr.stronk9857]

Gotta be the most respectful nsfw artist I’ve heard of

[@Evilriku13]

but.. most NSFW artists dont ask companies to draw their creations with consent. Like, over 90% of all NSFW is about not asking say GameFreak, Nintendo, SEGA and so on to give out an "ok" to draw their characters in various positions and state of nudity 👀

[@redlikeroses1062]

@@Evilriku13 There is a huge difference between a character made by a multi-million dollar corperation and someone's personal original character. People care so much about their characters and many times, parts of that person are put into that character. A company as a rule accepts that people will do what they want and has a massive audience. It's like saying teasing Jeff Bezos for being bald is hurting him. It's not, he's a billionare who doesn't know I exist. If I said that to a person I know, it would feel like an attack. Does that make sense?

[@danielnelson3136]

Good rules to follow, although just don't commercialize NSFW or be a NSFW artist at all is already going to prevent most awkward situations in the future with people. If you have to, do all that in private.

[@MrTique-ux8ob]

Crit crab is like an A&E show doing the whole "Scared Straight" program, but for D&D. 10/10

[@loturzelrestaurant]

RANDOM Recommendation? Sure, if you beg for it, you shall have it ('m joking): -Neil Red. -Hbomberguy. -Sir Sic. -Dream. Just some fun guys i wanna do unpaid advertisement for, ya know?

[@heather9130]

I love when CrtiCrab gets irate. "I'm going to commit crab rangoon" I'm dead. EDIT: Wtf this story is nuts. The DM's response to the situation is top notch though. I want more gaming stories from this group, they seem hilarious.

[@WobblesandBean]

That needs to be used more often. In an awkward situation? Just yell "AYOOO" and run like heII 😂

[@AuntLoopy123]

I, too, want more from this group. This team is EXCELLENT! Absolutely TOP-NOTCH! And now that they have defeated the BBEG, just think of what they can do, moving forward!

[@GeuseWRLD]

I absolutely love that gm's reaction was just "AYOOOO 💀"

[@Domino365]

When he called Edgy's player's mom Jocasta, I knew this was gonna take a bad turn.

[@madmouse4465]

Horror story aside, the fact that op called one of the players “mouse” despite her playing a Goliath is just kind of cute to me fkgkdkfngnxvjdg

[@robert-janthuis9927]

His naming in general was just amazing.

[@davidkoudelka10]

Reminds me of Minsc and Boo grom the Forgotton Realms setting, a giant barbarian with a smol hamster!❤🤣

[@nobodybroda3826]

Considering your name...I got nothing cleaver.

[@ayf449]

We all want the things we don't have.. to short people who keep getting teased for their hight.. yeah a damn giant i will be thank you very much

[@theghostcreator776]

you could say they were an... iron mouse

[@hostgamerunner6133]

yeah... this guy is a victim... I mean this "relationship" probably started after a long grooming process, I mean the guy was "the child" at some point, I don't know how it started, and I don't want to know, but it is very likely that it happend after the mother chose to have it with her son, then again, I don't know, not a specialist in the subject, but still, one is the parent, and the other, at least at some point, was the child... Also... think about how this whole thing would have gome if it was a father with his daughter...

[@cam4636]

What even is this comments section, yes if that's the guy's mom he's definitely a victim, and also yes that doesn't excuse his creepiness to any other person

[@AbstractTraitorHero]

@@cam4636 It does make it more sympathetic and means he should get therapy immediately, but that's it.

[@Lyntle]

This explains things possibly, but it doesn't excuse it, you are right. Though this also opens up the door of this guy depending on his age could be lashing out in a sexual nature because of the way he was treated and groomed. That and that he needs therapy. It also leads to that woman being an abuser and we don't know if she works around other children or has access to them and needs to be investigated. It is very hard for someone to break from an abuser and manipulator.

[@unlimon6382]

If you are taught to kill through abuse and you kill someone you may be a victim, but there is still someone dead lol even if he is a victim he deserves to be held accountable

[@hostgamerunner6133]

@@unlimon6382 accoutnable for what? being a creep? What else do ecpect him to become? An outstanding member of society? Plus there's no mention of murder in this story what so ever, this story, and the majority of the coments, are all directed at him being a creep, yeah, he most definitely is one, but if that woman is his REAL mother, he was probably raise in a grooming fashion, he's posts on "twitter" about the "wonders of incest" is probably how his MOTHER groomed him, how SHE twisted his brain, and used his natural sexual impulses, into turning him into her sex toy. Again accountable for what? the group fled, the computer was returned, and yeah, sadly the player was sexually harrassed in a a very unpleasent way, that should NOT have occured, and is unacceptable that it happened, but it's more likely the MOTHER's fault

[@ajn_rules_5074]

Imagine calling for your mama because you got rightfully told that drawing a real-life woman naked for very erotic reasons is wrong. Also, bro I thought I've heard worse from Den of the Drake horror stories of creeps/neckbeard, this is on a whole new level of disgusting that I pray to if there is a god that this is fake

[@screm1471]

critcrab has the funny/sad stuff covered, dotd covers the stuff of nightmares

[@ascendingfire8404]

Not just wanting to draw a real life woman nude, but *demanding* naked pictures of said real life women performing sexual acts as "references"! Fuck, what a disgusting prick.

[@bee5440]

@@screm1471 this is 100% true

[@jaysonklein6018]

This is true. The story of Grimey the Neckbeard still rings in my ears.

[@lilharm]

“you’ve finished reading an RPG horror story, please roll 5d20 to see how much psychic damage you take” “5 nat 20s”

[@WTFisTingispingis]

"So far this sounds pretty gross but not abnormal for-OH GOD WHAT?"

[@professionalprettyorc6143]

Can we get some RPG glory stories as a much needed palate cleanser? Because this was a lot to process.

[@loturzelrestaurant]

RANDOM Recommendation? Sure, if you beg for it, you shall have it ('m joking): -Neil Red. -Hbomberguy. -Sir Sic. -Dream. Just some fun guys i wanna do unpaid advertisement for, ya know?

[@AuntLoopy123]

To be fair, the way that team handled the situation practically IS a glory story!

[@solouno2280]

Try goggling Noh or Oogie

[@lordmarshmal_0643]

"As people of the internet, we're no strangers to-" Fam you missed an opportunity to _m e m e_ on us

[@B-Roll_Gaming]

You know the rules, and so do I

[@superphantom100]

@@B-Roll_Gaming you wouldn’t get this from any other guy.

[@valhalanguardsman2588]

@@B-Roll_Gaming say goodbye

[@RealKaldrac]

If edgy would've raised more red flags, stalin would've come back from the dead

[@MrfnordTim]

"I'm calling her Jocasta from now on . . ." Me: Uh-oh!

[@matthewa.whiting719]

Oh my goodness, I just got that joke 🤣. Oh man, 12th grade English memories are flooding back...

[@superphantom100]

What am I missing what the relevance of that name?

[@datspud_6036]

@@superphantom100 that is the name of Oedipus' mother.

[@jamesgaston2745]

King Creon does not approve

[@camnunes8847]

@@datspud_6036 oh no, I remember that story. Okay for those who dont know of the infamous myth. A guy named Oedipus was outcasted by his parents who ruled a kingdom calles Thebes as a baby because of a prophecy that foretold the child would kill the dad and marry the mom. So the baby was raised by a king and queen from a neighbor kingdom. When Oedipus is a man he meets an old guy when heading to the city of Thebes because the Oracle tells him to. Afterwards Oedipus heads to Thebes and saves the city from a Sphinx. He is declared king and married the recently widowed queen Jocasta. Uh oh. Years later Oedipus has e kids with Jocasta. But a short while later the man who dropped off baby Oedipus at the other kingdoms confesses the truth. Oedipus was son of the king and queen, Jocasta's son. Disgusted by the horrors of the prophecy coming true Jocasta kills herself and Oedipus stabs his eyes out. So no he didnt marry Jocasta with the knowledge of her being his mother, but it's still disgusting

[@WolfyFancyLads]

When you say "neckbeard dwells in his mother's basement", they normally don't mean THAT basement. Also, "snog"? I think this lot might be English, snog is one of our words.

[@aiodensghost8645]

True, but some people in the US also use it

[@cristiaolson7327]

Can confirm: "snog" has definitely crossed the pond (thank you British TV, movies and KZbin creators). We had long been two countries divided by a common language, but the internet is bringing us back together...

[@716monk]

Yeah but no one from an American education system is making Jocasta reference

[@cristiaolson7327]

@@716monk Oedipus Rex is required reading for sophomores.

[@theblackbaron4119]

Didn't you mean:" As people of the internet we're no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. " :)

[@pabloabadgonzalvez3798]

Damn, what a Rick Roll XD

[@thayenryan7448]

I was thinking just that!

[@MagicalMedic]

Agreed! I wouldn't want to hear about D&D from any other guy!

[@scyobiempire4450]

_Say goodbye!_

[@Nerobyrne]

in cases like this it's almost always the older person who is to blame, and the younger who is the victim. However, it's not really possible to say without some serious therapy, which it seems unlikely they're going to get.

[@cam4636]

Uh, yeah, I would hope "In the case of your mother r*ping you, you're not the one to blame" is something intrinsically understood

[@benry007]

@@cam4636 yes it sounds like his mum really messed him up

[@Nerobyrne]

@Naukumaija Mau-mau exactly, cases like this IMO need to go before some kind of court psychologist to examine what's really going on here. But there should 100% be court involvement, relationships like this are never healthy. Or legal.

[@loturzelrestaurant]

RANDOM Recommendation? Sure, if you beg for it, you shall have it ('m joking): -Neil Red. -Hbomberguy. -Sir Sic. -Dream. Just some fun guys i wanna do unpaid advertisement for, ya know?

[@Nerobyrne]

@@loturzelrestaurant that is probably the worst comment to do that under

[@goonerbear8659]

"Put yourself there mentally." *insert Family Guy vomit scene*

[@Scatteredpast]

The GM just booking it after shouting "AYO" is such a damn mood

[@ZorotheGallade]

"I'm calling her Jocasta from now on" Me, knowledgeable about Greek myth: :"Oh fuck." "There's gonna be a Part 2" Me: "A WHAT"

[@flamiaminu5536]

THIS IS WORSE THAN I IMAGINED, NO CRAB RANGOON WILL EVER GIVE ME BACK MY APPETITE

[@pulsefel9210]

Ya...I wake up for work, need to get some food, listen to this.... maybe not right now.

[@aerynh6116]

The moment OP said it was a full kiss, my immediate thought was: "Run. Run now. Run!" And then GM shouted "AYO!" and booked it and relief washed over me. No. Just. No.

[@espio87]

I almost spat my tea when I heard the poster naming Edgy's mom "Jocasta".

[@Deefry]

ngl this guy might already have his own Kiwi Farms thread.

[@SashaBlueMoon]

When did they start playing D&D with Chris-chan?

[@brendanblanks4438]

I was looking for this comment. Thank you, I can continue my day now. :)

[@PuppyM0dr]

>things have gotten a little more criminal. busy rn but i'll update as soon as i can thats fucking ominous

[@Zeeke01]

Damn! This was something else... Man I have honestly no words for what just happened... Wow... Btw always glad to see more videos from ya CritCrab!

[@CritCrab]

Thanks!

[@oldsoldier4209]

@@CritCrab I’ve read, and listened to, a lot of RPG horror stories. I thought I could handle anything, especially if it was deemed acceptable by a KZbin reader. I thought wrong. Please, for all that’s holy, DO NOT update us on this story. I’m going to go shower now, as just listening to that has made me feel contaminated. 🤢

[@neroknight11]

Critcrab: "Put yourself in that situation mentally" Me: Out the window I go then

[@henryhere]

Ahh yes, the ol' self defenestrate tactic

[@theexiled_eclipse4994]

“If this story doesn’t do a 180 I’m going to commit Crab Rangoon” was not a joke I was expecting to hear today

[@keoniflow2019]

Damn, i didnt know chris chan played DND

[@houstonhall1144]

I know right?

[@MartinBlackArcano]

Chris-Chan is Shaun Murphy next to this disgusting piece of work.

[@vespidolive741]

Holy Crab and anything crustration related, this was a special sort of screwed up. I do like the screwed up stories, but CritCrab, for your sake, I think you need to either stare at adorable pictures of puppies for a few days, or read something wholesome, because that was horrorifying.

[@markx322]

Literally listening to this at work, and when I got to that point. Literally walked away paused the video, and then started saying, no no nope this is some Chris Chan shit. My co-workers are very confused

[@АйдоралСмертестойкий]

I literally watched this vid after part 11 of Chris Chan documentary. Wasn't sure the vid switched properly.

[@SuperSaku1]

I don't agree with having a preference for Japanese or any other type of woman being some terrible thing, but everything else was fuckin wild

[@krampusklaws2238]

Agreed, we all have our preferences. To say it's a bad thing is pretty racist tbh, like we can't express interest in another ethnic group?

[@hypethekomodo6495]

@@krampusklaws2238 Think it's safe to say this particular individual took it past a 'preference'. 'Obsession' seems like a more fitting term, and yes, that is a bad thing.

[@kurosakikun96]

@@krampusklaws2238 unfortunately there are those out there that think that kind of preference is "sexualising" the race, making it racist due to being treated as "stereotyping", the irony in how said people don't recognise that that mindset is technically segregation

[@tiaanventer1658]

Ahh, I finally get to a video while it's still warm, so now I can finally show our Crab King true gratification and hope that he sees this comment. I love your videos man, and I love the content that you post aswell as the jokes you make through out the video

[@fgzhtsp]

The most generic rogue. Hmmm. "He stares at you with his doll like eyes and says nothing." Something like this?

[@AuntLoopy123]

OMG! I remember that story. GROOOSSSSSSS!

[@richardduska1558]

11:30 NANI!?!?!? Ok what kind of Alabama houshold is this!? At that point just just pick up your stuff and gtfo of there!

[@heatedchill6632]

Are we really sure this story didn't take place in Alabama? Like the way Edgy is acting and that "part" with their mom really, REALLY, makes me feel like this is taking place in stereotypical Alabama

[@clericofchaos1]

Hmm, when i saw the title what i thought was going happen was that he called his mom who then forced this group of adults to do whatever it was the guy wanted. I think i was assuming your typical bad dnd behavior, overpowered homebrew, whining to get his way, etc. Definitely was not expecting what happened though. I guess, since nobody knew him before the game started, the moral of the story is to stay away from strangers...and maybe don't take the hot asian chick to the stranger's house. Dude probably had a basement all ready to go for her.

[@wolfgamer8770]

What if you just moved and everyone locally is a stranger. How do you make friends.

[@DeathIsLethal]

@@wolfgamer8770 that's the neat part, you don't. You stay in your basement cave with your hoard of dice and miniatures, shun the outside world.

[@clericofchaos1]

@@wolfgamer8770 online...better yet just don't move.

[@waywardscythe3358]

GM did really well handling a crisis. Even if it wasn’t conscious planning, rather than letting the other party take any sort of initiative post kiss, they got everyone out before any further interactions could happen.

[@AuntLoopy123]

I know, right? The GM, and the entire team (minus Edgy) were AWESOME in how they handled this. They had a plan of attack to initiate a conversation, in the first place. When that went south, they stuck together and got out, then supported each other, problem-solved, and handled it with compassion for Mouse, and the utmost care for her and Rango's safety, just... I LOVE THIS TEAM SO MUCH!

[@InvisibleCanadia]

I really hoped this wasn't going the way I thought it was despite the incest warning and then as soon as I saw the mom was being referred to as Jocasta I mentally locked down for what I knew was going to be the most vile story on this channel so far

[@curlyhairQT]

I love how his response was " ayo" and yeet out

[@thebritishgamer836]

"Edgy liked to draw"... I see where this is going already... oh dear lord no

[@Jsuelieta]

Critcrab, my good arthropod, this has been the most nightmare-inducing tale you have ever told. I will not sleep for days because of this. This is not the kind of story that calls for a mere content warning, this calls for warnings for possible demonic possessions and may require warnings in the state of California as this is the kind of thing that may cause cancer. I believe the SCP Foundation would also like to know the location of everyone who's read or heard this story for memory modification after interaction with an euclid-class cognitohazard. Please seek an exorcist at your earliest convenience just in case this has summoned up some new inner demons for you.

[@Midnight3Wonder]

Okay, the thing about Edgy wanting to draw the characters having sex as part of his tradition of drawing eventful stuff from the campaign, that really freaks me out. For the campaigns I play in, I draw eventful scenes that happen in our games. I never draw anything that I or anyone else would be uncomfortable with, and I even ask others if there's anything I should change or remove completely just in case. Luckily, most of my pictures are fluff and the most "explicit" my drawings have ever been was when one of our player's characters woke up to find he now had a tail after spending the night with a mushroom fairy. Don't ask me how THAT happened, mostly because my brain is still too fried from that moment to figure it out. But, to sum it up, I never draw ANYTHING that would make us uncomfortable or that goes against people's boundaries. So, after hearing about how this freak took this habit we both apparently share (I'm disgusted that I have ANYTHING in common with this insane lunatic), I'm rather on edge both with discomfort and rage. Now, I want to make clear that, no matter the skill, you are not a true artist if you cannot read the room and make art that violates people's rights of humanity. There are legendary works of art that have crossed such boundaries, but they tended to have more of a message to them other than "sexy because I can". There are lines that just MUSTN'T be crossed, and this freak defiantly crossed them. If someone were to ask me for nudes for their "artwork", you can bet that I wouldn't take that request lightly. Especially not helped by the fact that I am asexual and have very strict boundaries regarding such things about myself. I'd have probably eventually slapped Edgy if he kept demanding nudes from me for his art and rage quit the game right then and there if I hadn't already from all the other weird and awkward stuff he pulled earlier. Consent is highly important in the artworld, and I follow that rule to the T.

[@pker22999]

"I'm going to be calling her Jocasta from now on" My mind: I'm in danger

[@Calebgoblin]

"Edgy's player liked to draw" Oh no

[@AuntLoopy123]

Heye, no. My niece likes to draw, and she is sweetness, itself. Art is not the red flag, here.

[@eflarsen]

calling the mom jocasta was OP doing the text-only equivalent of when horror movie soundtracks pick up but you don't see anything happening on-screen

[@LMF1716]

Ah yes, more content from our crab overlord

[@alisontibbens2155]

May I join you in that crab Rangoon? Maybe we can make some hungry peasant happy while we put ourselves out of our misery. Time to go and gouge out my mind's eye.

[@gtpacheco3276]

Me: Well, all of this is really bad... probably it's the weirdest story in this chanel. CritCrab: "Things have got a little more criminal." Me: Oh my.

[@KitsuneRokaku]

Edgy thought he was Sephiroth and turned out to be Chris Chan. Yeah, I said it!

[@Zenas521]

TLDR: When critCrab says "This is one of the most disgusting things I've ever read", I shouldn't start having dinner. 🤮

[@dxjxc91]

CritCrab: "Mentally put yourself at the table." Me: "No, thank you!"

[@ahsidodna3355]

Honestly i feel bad for edgy player, his mom must be crazy and made him crazy

[@Aaron24371]

Rango is a fantastic movie go watch it if you haven't.

[@MidoriMushrooms]

i died laughing on "passionate lovers" I'm so sorry but crab's reaction to this is PRICELESS, thank you for making my night less mundane.

[@vanessas17]

"Rango always said that time spent having sex was time not being spent holding up a bank." Every ace listening: ❗️❗️❗️

[@davidcopplestone6266]

Edgy is one deeply disturbed person, and definitely needs help. He's armed too? OMFG!

[@TheOneThane]

There's no way this is real. The world is safe, for now.

[@Notbatman374]

A moment of silence for critcrabs sanity. Also wtf why are they STILL texting him after getting the laptop and finding his twitter? Your just asking for trouble at that point

[@Kelekona]

The classic, "OK, maybe it's X so it's not as bad as we think it is" brain bleach. Oh OP, it's probably exactly what you think.

[@RyuSpike]

When Crit mentioned incest early on and the title is "Neckbeard Calls His Mom On Our Group, And Things Get Weird", I thought I was ready for what's to come. But I wasn't.

[@solouno2280]

None of us was

[@Lyntle]

I know everyone is on Edgy about stuff, I am actually concerned, despite the catfishing and other things, the mom is very suspicious. Depending on Edgy's age and the normalcy that was put out there with the kiss may suggest that this has been going on a long time. If so when did it start? Did the mom groom him from a younger age? If so that would explain a lot of the deviant type of behavior and he needs to get help. Though it would also explain the acting out sexually with the catfishing and whatnot (not excuse it but explain it). If the op ever reads this the mom needs to be investigated and/or reported especially if she works around other kids and Edgy needs therapy. He might have a kink however a proper mother would never act on that kink and especially if it is the mother doing it, I feel as though it might have been taught. But there could be a lot of other possibilities. I just hope that maybe this is the straw that breaks the camel's back for him to go get help.

[@ArkhamVI]

If I had to go by the Funny-Cringe-Glory-Horror chart seen in earlier videos, this would DEFINITELY be VERY DEEP horror and VERY DEEP cringe

[@dionysus-sama6338]

As a fan of Japan I love all of japan, not just anime Food Culture Music act I loathe neckbeards, they make us look bad.

[@PancakemonsterFO4]

I like the mythology and vending mashines for everything you can possibly desire. Also Ramen sounds better then Bratwurst

[@FamosoMarcoso]

I will put money on the fact that edgy and his mom watch fox news

[@krimsonkatt]

Fox News used to be good, but then it all went to crap in late 2020 when Biden got elected and now all they talk about is conspiracy theories and culture-war bullcrap. Not actual, real, factual news like they used to. They used to be the right wing version of CNN, center right but makes a few big mistakes every once and a while while CNN was the same but left wing. Now Fox News is basically just the right-wing version of something like Pink News or The Guardian. Just spewing bullcrap and fake news constantly. And to think that they're the most moderate right wing news source. Literally everything else like OAN, Britebart, Cosmic Book News, Raging Gamer, ect are even more extreme. Remember Raging Gamer's "traitors to America" list where they listed every company and celebrity no matter how small or obscure that supported BLM? (which was nearly all of them) Heck, they even included Scott the Woz and Caddicarus, who are apolitical in their videos (though Caddy is a liberal IRL) and wore BLM shirts as a joke/cutaway gag! This was before George Floyd BTW.

[@Xsis_Vorok]

If one would lookup "da fuq" in the dictionary, this video would be it's description.

[@Gazing-09]

... That really got out of hand pretty fast. I'm gonna crawl back to my dark corner in your ceiling. Don't look at me, I'm scared.

[@Gabriel-rj9gn]

That drawing moment had so much missed potential!! It could have been a picture with a lit up tent in the background, and other players in the forefront looking perturbed and trying to cover their ears in their sleeping bags. Why is talent wasted on others???

[@speeu]

Holy shit they managed to get on the same dnd table as Chris chan 😳

[@SamWeltzin]

The second the OP named the mom "Jocasta," I was all, "No way...it couldn't be..." Holy shit. It could be.

[@FenrirWolf203]

11:40 Oh, so that was why she was named Jocasta (I thought it was something along the lines of her son causing her a lot of suffering and her not realizing, like Edipo indirectly caused her mother to die, but, I didn't expect it to go that way).

[@CrowePerch]

Thanks for the cringe mr. crab. Now I have to spray down my keyboard from all the vomit.

[@patjacksonpodium]

For my own sanity, I'm just going to go ahead and imagine Edgy as Buster Bluth so I can at least laugh about it 😂😭🤮

[@AuntLoopy123]

I'm glad I wasn't the only one who went there. But Lucille 2 had enough sense to dump him, once she realized what he was doing.

[@alicepbg2042]

Considering it's his mom, I can't really blame him. There's likely grooming involved and he probably needs a therapist asap... But... fuck man...

[@erinw4935]

"I'm going to call her Jocasta-" *pauses video, swallows vomit, mentally prepares, hits play*

[@helxeen2607]

Sweet home Alabama, this is what's going on in my mind.

[@Jonaegh]

"She had amassed a harem that stretched across the continent." Ah, a true Bard. I salute such a legend

[@Nr4747]

Pretty gross stuff. The only thing I don't agree with is the whole "targeting Rango because she was of an ethnicity that's his type"- argument. Having a type is fine, even if it's a specific race or ethnicity. What's not fine is literally everything else, including trying to manipulate her into sending nudes/lewds - and, of course, the whole incest thing . . .