Cruelty Squad Speedrun - All Endings

Run starts with a new game (cleared saves). Every level, secret level, and ending.
0:00 - Reset Save
0:13 - Pharmakokinetiks
1:10 - Paradise
2:20 - Sin Space Engineering
2:46 - Cursed Torch
3:37 - Death
3:55 - Abominator
4:20 - Divine Light
5:03 - Androgen Assault
6:05 - Mall Madness
6:36 - Apartment Atrocity
7:00 - Seaside Shock
7:48 - Bog Business
8:25 - Casino Catastrophe
8:55 - Unlocking Neuron Activator
9:45 - Neuron Activator Vault
10:15 - Stock Trading
13:13 - Idiot Party
14:00 - Office
15:08 - Cruelty Squad Headquarters
16:48 - Archon Grid
17:50 - Unlocking Darkworld
18:38 - Darkworld
19:18 - Unlocking Miner's Miracle
19:50 - Miner's Miracle
20:40 - Unlocking Alpine Hospitality
21:05 - Alpine Hospitality
21:55 - House
23:00 - Neuron Activator
24:00 - Trauma Loop

[@randomcommenterheredontmin4390]

Imagine being an NPC in one of these... like, you're guarding a building normally, when you just see this dude climb a fricking wall, shoot like 83 of your coworkers, kill the guy you were supposed to protect, and bhop away in like 2 minutes

[@thegwallitn5337]

in cruelty squad world that kind of thing happens at least once every fifteen minutes

[@eyeblech2001]

Imagine explaining this shit to your manager

[@robertsanders4575]

Well, at least that one dark world guy was - most likely - pleasantly surprised. 'You reversed gravity and landed outside my abode before shooting me through the window before I could even see you? DELIGHTFUL!'

[@revoblam7975]

@@robertsanders4575 "Ohohohoh my God! I did not even know you could do that, Please, an encoré!!!"

[@cyberarcher]

20 seconds*

[@sundials5572]

I love how the longest part of every cruelty squad speedrunning is the stock trade, it makes me laugh seeing a man sitting there waiting for his stock investment to do well

[@taurinetrashmann259]

Part of me feels like the devs made sure you MUST trade stocks to make a speedrun viable. Imagine how much cortisol your average Cruelty Speedrunner has to deal with

[@sundials5572]

@@taurinetrashmann259 that’s the ceo mindset

[@hodepine]

I can imagine him just watching his Computer, going like "CMON HURRY UP, I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO..."

[@mustardofdoom]

Wow. If you haven't played this game, this speedrun must look absolutely insane. If you *have* played the game, it looks even more insane given the amount of pure skill and lateral thinking on display.

[@ericv00]

It's the classic speedrun experience. The more you know, the crazier it is. I just busted my rear getting my Paradise time down to 51 seconds for fun, and I knew looking up a speedrun of the game would make my effort look amateur. I was not disappointed.

[@Mfn_Tagilla]

CEO mindset

[@ELGUAPOIV]

It's not that serious.

[@ZeranZeran]

I started last night and I still can't get past the first level I fucking love this game

[@notsoperfectcell858]

​@@ZeranZeran since this was 7 months ago, any updates?

[@funkypants99]

that photo finish. brain about to explode, still made it to godhood

[@kazooie5152]

I think my heart rate was over 200 at that part

[@sillylilstella]

@@kazooie5152 true ceo mindset

[@Mr._Zook]

​@@sillylilstellanah, the true CEO GRINDset

[@kasane1337]

Holy shit, that ending was intense. The last few seconds could have completely destroyed the entire run, but you nailed it. Congratulations!

[@dealerman5955]

My jaw dropped when I realized you were getting the death surgery. Never occurred to me you could get it so early

[@homrmryourddfdoing]

what is that?

[@SCDarkZide]

I am probably too late with the reply, but when he is going into the first/pharma level again to change his hp from life to death, that's referred to as the death surgery. You need to be on the highest difficulty (Hope Eradicated) in order to get it, which is why he gets the cursed torch so early on.

[@somo4227]

many things in this game that are op are available to you early on you just don't know about them/are hard to get

[@Canalman]

I love the visible terror in the mouse movements at the end of Trauma Loop

[@goobaguy9]

No more foolery. THIS is true insanity. You have every bit of my respect. Sincerely, Anonymous Shitman

[@XCATX25]

Using the abominator in Bog Business (to obtain a S) is something I tried so many times and I never managed to do once, it's incredible that he does it in consistant speedruns

[@SCDarkZide]

You wouldn't think the stick would allow you to jump this high, also the kicks for acceleration are hilarious. Well done!

[@sirdogith3783]

Normally, i would try to imagine the absurdity of such events taking place in a speed run. Imagining realistic reactions to outlandish action. But this is cruelty squad. This *is* what's normal

[@mafiozistas]

I love to watch how with each new run your skill increases and you become faster and faster. Good luck to you

[@coveredinoctopus8670]

Love the runs! I mean what other speed runs have a stock market watching section lol

[@madjack1748]

this guy deserves a raise

[@Fresh_Knight]

The 3 minutes of stock trading is a nice break

[@djgaming5107]

These Speedruns are nuts!

[@Slysheen]

That Idiot party run is so satisfying, catapulting yourself to the exit looks so much more fun than sewer exit

[@crueltys]

this is my go-to meal video

[@smoltoasterpastry2267]

ive been watching these since i saw the first single segment run that you did and i gotta say, its really damn impressive. keep it up homie

[@mcadminbro2139]

You are a very talented runner. You should try this category again man. I have some videos on my channel that explain the modern Trauma% route, and without these strategies it will be very hard to beat the record if it is even possible. I like that you routed this run yourself, this is a classic speedrun. Respect.

[@MKVRiscy]

Now here is someone with a CEO mindset

[@felipearrais5415]

Those office kills were CLEAN

[@99insight]

This is insano mode. I tried playing this game to no avail. I’m terrible at this game. To see you play so well and fast is so insanely hard and awesome to see. Love you

[@GarrettX001]

Oh shit dude you said sub 15 was possible and here it is! Honestly the mvp for the category right now, no doubt.

[@DerekPerlurrl]

Reject humanity, abuse Abominator

[@nicolas100x100]

Amaizing Work! If a human can do a time like this, imagine what a TAS is able to do

[@Kai-tu7xw]

Wow, terrific work

[@rinirax]

nice run, thanks for putting timestamps too

[@spoonkidenjoyer]

Nice, only see a 10 or 20 second improvement possible keep it up!

[@ArjunTheRageGuy]

gotta love the gravity switching thing being abused in here lol

[@ProtonFilms_Mark]

I have absolutely no idea of what's going on, but I can't look away.

[@Jocasta_Nu]

Surely it would be quicker to do the whole run on 640x480

[@StClare_]

When the aliens in an extradimensional parallel universe try to create their own Doom-Minecraft crossover.

[@maragazh9993]

1:43 caught the man shmovin

[@jaytee_9074]

the death upgrade early on is something i never even thought of!

[@PsicodeliaAlternativa]

amazing play

[@exodus9001]

In my multiple retries getting the divine Hq orb, I noticed you can just move the one barrel out of the corner and if you're turned towards the barrel diagonally goin into the vent you can slide in. Might be a second or two but just wanted to offer help you become the ultimate CEO I know you can be.

[@notimportant768]

Im surprised that going upside down and wagging mouse is faster than gerpendix given you can attach to bullets.

[@prussiansoup]

This is probably the video that made me think "dayum,you could do that" the most times

[@DaRealRocketMan]

THE CRUELTY SQUAD IS REAL!

[@ReturnoftheHairline]

The archon grid shortcut blew my fucking mind

[@PlantModes]

This is awesome! Can I suggest a game to speed run next? It's called the indigo Parallel, it has mutliple branching pathways and would be an interesting speedrun.

[@drfudgecookie5800]

I believe this holds the world record for the fastest speedrun that does not use a glitch.

[@bluegem8582]

well, this is how i learn that the rpg divine light room is the same as the pool/pond area, huh..

[@user-uj4gr9ql4m]

In the darkworld and miner's miracle possible projectile fly (but idk can it help or not), but about other part of this run - good job

[@kazooie5152]

Yeah, if I could hit that projectile fly consistently it would help a ton.

[@Micamicamico]

never seen the game before so it feels like im watching youtube from another universe

[@thelordofthelostbraincells]

This guy named pyrocynical did a full deep dive video on this game. The video is 4:30:00-ish long, it's a very well made video that's worth the watch if you have the time.

[@YoupiMatos2]

bruh just play the game instead of watching someone dissect it to bits no?

[@Micamicamico]

@YoupiMatos2 option 1: spend money on game i didnt even know about Options 2: watch a really imteresting video that pops up in my feed about a game i have NEVER SEEN BEFORE HOW ARE YOU MAD AT ME FOR THAT LMAOOO Absolute tosser

[@johnfindus4225]

Impressive

[@thomastheturtle8368]

How do you get the 2nd ending so Quickly? Cause when I pick up the gun on the Head Quarters it does not kill him instantly ? Great run btw it was a blast to watch, and I thought my Skills were good 😢

[@brockrumery3073]

Gun he picked up was the transactional rifle. It does more damage the more stocks you have, which is part of why he did the stock trading segment.

[@BigChumby]

Did you see that level 2?? God like. Also the routing is definitely an interesting choice, I hope even more innovations get the time down to like, 12:50:00

[@karotgamin790]

taking out the player’s error could shave off a few seconds as well

[@StinkygooberTM]

It took me a few days to get pharma that fast, hardest part is consistently hitting the kick jumps

[@alexthebox9897]

When doing the stocks why not just buy the wheel of fortune instead of the other fish? It’s how I keep my stocks in my game

[@goontnt1]

Is time menuing in the final time count? If not, the stock market looks like a run killer

[@SinisterF.]

i don't think so but considering he put only the ingame time in the title they probably ignore the stock market part

[@goddesscarrie767]

would u play gorbinos quest

[@digitalizedmind6784]

0:37 why is this so funny

[@meltinggoo3272]

9:30 how did you get a bouncy suit? I've watched multiple times and still confused

[@kazooie5152]

I get it in Idiot Party shortly after killing the target.

[@thatsme6160]

Why does your baton always seem to charge instantly?

[@kazooie5152]

You can hold it charged while the level is loading. I also have a habit of holding it charged as I'm walking around far before I need it. If you're referring to the wall climbing, the charge time of the baton is less than you would think and if you time it right you can swing it pretty fast.

[@givlupi2686]

Why did you leave after getting the cursed torch when you could have gone to Darkworld so you wouldn't have to unlock it later?

[@hasgames3231]

Because he was trying to get the death surgery so I guess he wanted it in the dark world

[@givlupi2686]

@@hasgames3231 He could just enter dark world from the menu then

[@hasgames3231]

@@givlupi2686 oh yeah fair point

[@DarenKajiWolf]

I don't understand any of what I just saw... But cool!!!

[@Hard0milk03]

if this guy ever took bath salts and tried speedrunning irl im sure it would end horibbly

[@mattymclaughlin5900]

What’s that little green slug alien’s name?

[@w47aaron69]

how did u kill the main guy in cruelty squad headquarters w the sks

[@kazooie5152]

If you have at least 1 million invested in stocks the transaction rifle instantly kills him.

[@lucasaraujo1662]

this run would be great at a GDQ

[@damsen978]

Why don't you start already at 640x480 so you don't have to change the setting mid-run?

[@pannnella]

hard to do everything at, also it saves no time because time stops when you pause

[@galtar862]

Don’t need neuron activator vault since time in menu isn’t counter against the run, just dump money into stock market and wait after you do mall madness but before apartment atrocity so you can get arbitrary money off of the market and instantly buy house and implants and have enough to dump into market to power zkz

[@kazooie5152]

I would be starting with like ~10k, wouldn't I have to wait hours irl before that grew to a significant amount?

[@galtar862]

@@kazooie5152 I don't think so, either gamesgames or shitty fish should be able to get you there in 15 min or so at the max IIRC. Should be pretty quick to test out, just reset save and run until you finish mall madness. The two strats that should work would be buying either gamesgames or a bunch of cheap fish, but I forget which exactly is best.

[@galtar862]

@@kazooie5152 Either way, though, it's a 15 second save at best if you can skip NA vault at your current pace, so there may be better optimizations to be made elsewhere.

[@person-ub2cy]

HOW DO YPU DO THIS

[@ribbon8546]

Excuse me, are you catching *yourself* with the fishing rod and reeling yourself up for height?

[@kylerhurst66]

No, thats the baton, they are using the baton push themselves against walls

[@ribbon8546]

@@kylerhurst66 Damn. That really does sound like something you could do in this game, though.

[@user-om6jn1yh5k]

Man, are you terminator?

[@Radiant_Veiner]

How u jump/move like that?

[@CrabO2]

Bhop, when moving diagonally you move faster and jumping can also help

[@creepshow60]

Now do an all weapons speed run

[@karikora8279]

Nnnnniiice

[@sambicious4664]

Oh he never kills the triagons

[@thelordofthelostbraincells]

They're optional, I guess. Since you can get very powerful suit or armor, a powerful weapon, and $1000000

[@nostalgiamango4199]

CEO MINDSET.

[@marshmelows]

Mom I'm scared

[@ocularorb4021]

as someone who has only played the first mission,, why the fuck is he trading stocks mid speedrun

[@SinisterF.]

for money (and also the sks he picked up in cruelty squad headquarters deals more damage if you have more money invested in stocks with a cap of 1 million)

[@AoifeProductions]

is this what the kids call nowadays a "boomer-shooter"?

[@lysrix7353]

i repulse this game