Crusader Kings 2 IS A PERFECTLY BALANCED GAME WITH NO EXPLOITS - RETINUE ONLY CHALLENGE IS BROKEN

[@cethapplegate594]

Spiff are you paying your retinue in exposure?

[@DhonJoe]

@@thespiffingbrit Wassup my Guuge! Cumans are awesome

[@matthill5426]

The Gooj is exposed to all.

[@virginlooser7451]

Nice coment my guge

[@DhonJoe]

@@thespiffingbrit Daddy please

[@DhonJoe]

@@thespiffingbrit 😥😭😌😏😝

[@altromonte15]

I love the description of the duels, it's basically "I was swinging my sword randomly and at one point he screamed, so I knew I had hit him, lucky me, what a god of duels I am"

[@Socrates458]

dlollolb I think you should submit that to Paradox for CK3.

[@kendenstarke419]

Wazzup my guge

[@DeathComesQuick666]

@@kendenstarke419 i paused it, came down here, clicked this reply section first. Youre a true guge.

[@LR-ff2cn]

Everybody: S U P M A G U U U G E S

[@smokeynifty4376]

L R replace nobody with everybody

[@jacktheripper5112]

sup ma gugy brother

[@thermit3]

How you guges doing today

[@Kilgorio]

Sup Cumania

[@johnyossarian1135]

@@smokeynifty4376 just thinking that guge

[@thecigardad2826]

"Don't call each other Guges"- Spiff "What up my guges!"-Everyone *Spiff laughing in KZbin algorithm monetization intensifies*

[@kasperdjerns2865]

His gonna see a guge spike in viewer comments activity

[@EmperorZelos]

from what I hear, he is banning people for using Guge on his discord

[@kodokunagemu]

@@EmperorZelos don't spread rumors, he's got tea that enables God mode.... Ohhhhh

[@koffieslikkersenior]

He's probably found an exploit in the algorithm like the guge he is

[@eelonmusk6998]

The KZbin algorithm is a perfectly balanced algorithm with no expoits whatsoever

[@Kyle_Hubbard]

"Don't go into the comment section calling each other GUGES because that would make me immensely uncomfortable" OK, you got it my GUGE.

[@yaasification6786]

This is what I'm talking about Guge

[@smokeynifty4376]

The guge are you talking about

[@cp1cupcake]

Its ok as long we are just calling Spiffin a Guge. We just can't call each other that Atticus.

[@ichigogeek]

@@yaasification6786 I mean, my GOUGE, I wouldn't dare to call out tea overlord Herr GUGESTEA That'd be simply offensive my GUGE.

[@teph1256]

sup my guges

[@admiralsnackbar8915]

“Angermanland” is actually still a place in sweden and roughly translates to “regret-man-land”. Meaning you’d regret going there

[@hinzster]

Actually it's got its name from the river, the Ångerman, and it's just a river that is so wide they call it a fjord - or in old swedish "anger" (hah! Norway has fjords, Sweden has to call their rivers fjords :P)... anyway, you'll love their coat of arms, it's got three fish in it.

[@MisterTipp]

I mean, it makes a lot more sense if it was actually a river called Ångerman but at that point you're ruining Swedish 6th grade geography for everyone

[@hinzster]

Sowwy :(

[@robinbanks3186]

The Swedish Provincial borders and names have stayed consistent for a scary amount of time. Medelpad, Jämtland, Gästrikland, and Hälsingland are about the same size and they still have the same name.

[@Teadon86]

As a Swede, this made me unexpectantly depressed.

[@RealMothman98]

Norse warriors be marching into enemies cities like "whaddup my guge".

[@marcusl8602]

Guuuuuge!!

[@thechosenone8808]

sup my guge

[@robinyeah4134]

sup

[@huhulili9021]

Sup my guge

[@connorgrant5908]

yes break the britt my guges

[@AnomalyINC]

"We can't allow Catholics in our lands" is a surprisingly accurate summation of a lot of Swedish history.

[@holloww_dwella]

I wish that were true.

[@aethertoast4320]

@@holloww_dwella didn't say that they were successful at the endeavor.

[@hikari1690]

But Sabaton's Carolus Rex has "I was chosen by heaven". Is it a different religion's heaven?

[@AnomalyINC]

@@hikari1690 Not at all. Same heaven, different sect. Sweden became Protestant very early on after the Reformation. Still Christians, but rejecting Papal authority.

[@xaoz2362]

@@holloww_dwella well, that is true... We fought against the Catholics and made protestant christianity our religion.

[@bisalwayswright88]

Even though I've put in 100 hours into this game, I didn't know how retinues worked. My favourite thing about this guge is how easily he explains very complicated games

[@ratemal7748]

"What on earth is Cumania?" Kingdom Come - Deliverance: Am I a joke to you?

[@bushman4689]

Yes it is

[@danieldionne2037]

Also funny since he just did an AOE video with T-90 about the Cumans being OP. 😛

[@olliegrant5375]

ok guge

[@Stettafire]

Yes. Sorry was that a question?

[@marcoantoniomoraesmedeiros5941]

"cu" in Brazilian Portuguese means asshole

[@Ares-hb7ge]

"Crusader Kings 2 IS A PERFECTLY BALANCED GAME WITH NO EXPLOITS - RETINUE ONLY CHALLENGE IS BROKEN" I knew that already guge, everyone knows CK2 is perfectly balanced

[@bjrntop7220]

yeah, GUGE

[@teodorofreiberger2438]

don't even sweat my guge, all the other guges are greeting because this comment section slaps

[@defensivekobra3873]

Oh my guge we did it, we made him uncomfortable, let's hope spiff does not send us to the brittish penal collonies my guges

[@TheUnmournedYank]

2019: “Ok, boomer.” 2020: “Ok, guge.”

[@piuscalvinus]

Sup my guge

[@somberbrandon3147]

nothing much my guge

[@piuscalvinus]

@@somberbrandon3147 have a great day, then, my guge

[@somberbrandon3147]

@@piuscalvinus Indeed Guge

[@lavantheconqueror5426]

I wouldn't say that to everyone

[@spartanpawn007]

"But with DNA and Me I found out I'm 2.1% Western Tibetan" "Morning Steve!" "Sup Guge!"

[@spartanpawn007]

This joke was the first thing to pop into my head when you said "don't go into the comment section and call each other Guges".

[@sxiayk7081]

@@spartanpawn007 jokes are ALWAYS funnier if you explain them

[@spartanpawn007]

@@sxiayk7081 That's not explaining a joke, my guy.

[@sxiayk7081]

@@spartanpawn007 it is. your joke was you calling people guge in the comments, then you explained the reference.

[@spartanpawn007]

@@sxiayk7081 Not even close to what the reference was.

[@abramtabor7726]

"Don't go into the comment section calling each other GUGES because that would make me immensely uncomfortable" Most of the Fanbase: We would like to be called the GUGES from now on.

[@mcborris6515]

What's that you're saying there Guge?

[@abramtabor7726]

Simply acknowledging the perfectly balanced nature of my fellow Guges.

[@daymaster1]

What's up my Guge?

[@robinyeah4134]

nothing much guge

[@jimpicket2430]

My Guge

[@Jame5man]

Spiffing Brit: no one uses retinues Me looking at 12k retinue of pikemen and heavy cavalry: I’m nobody, solid

[@prisonerofthehighway1059]

You’re such a Guge, my dude.

[@EmperorZelos]

GUUGEE

[@deusexmachina5769]

GUUGE

[@kristofferjohnsen4002]

Yeah to be honest he just doesnt know how to play the game...

[@howshouldiknow2568]

I see a guge!

[@theunforgiven9386]

"All we have is just a bunch of angry guges" - Describing any Khornate Warband

[@Hubert_Cumberdale_]

MILK FOR THE KHORNE FLAKES!!!

[@person7024]

BUTTER FOR THE POPPED KHORNE

[@lucasbeck1391]

@@person7024 HERETIC

[@shadowwolf12398]

Spiffing Brit: don’t go into the comments and call each other guges Everyone else: sup ma guges

[@robinyeah4134]

huge!

[@wyrrmieg4305]

Sup mah guge!

[@leblebierkan349]

sup my guge!

[@Koozomec]

Let's invades Bruges my Guge !

[@ThePamimo]

Tea, Fellow guges?

[@rpcheesman]

Of course Harry Windsor should be a proud guge for being left-handed.

[@FuelDropforthewin]

Spiff: "Who's even heard of Cumania?" Age of Empires 2 DE players: *spams step lancers*

[@chryasor9254]

*internal screaming* how did such a broken unit get through testing

[@CarlosRios1]

Kcd players: *angry bohemian noises*

[@Hubert_Cumberdale_]

Aren't cumans mentioned in kingdom come deliverence?

[@CarlosRios1]

@@Hubert_Cumberdale_ they're the main antagonist

[@Des420]

Hulkcumania?

[@borjitasstoi]

Me finding girldfriend people:she is ugly me:but stats are decent

[@BevinEG]

Such an unchad comment... Small boi yikes

[@samuelbunkly2527]

Imagine a girlfriend Ex deeee

[@ZechsMerquise73]

what about that guge though?

[@BevinEG]

Now we're cooking with hot coal!

[@TBDF12]

Look at this guge pretending to have a girlfriend.

[@Plair0ne]

"It's horrific cuz it's in Sweden and it's freezing cold" *looks out of the window* Too real, man

[@8484terry]

Laugh's in Canadian

[@jeevithrai7994]

Better than being steamed alive in the tropics, I say

[@hansjakobappel3716]

Good one my Guge and it demonstrates why denmark is better

[@ReclusiveEagle]

Paradox Interactive: "Crusader Kings 3 coming soon" Spiff: *Rubbing teabags together*

[@lightdrgn20]

Thanks you for alerting me.

[@Hirovard]

can't wait for CK3, can any of you Guge's?

[@adamvifrye2690]

they say its gonna be a year, but i doubt it... i really hope they dont dumb it down even more.

[@binger_kurg9907]

Spiffing: Please don't go to the comments and call each other Guges Everyone: Ok Guge

[@Hubert_Cumberdale_]

I hope this sticks and keep happening in later videos my guge.

[@Purvis513]

@@Hubert_Cumberdale_ We must take action. Let the Guge uprising begin!

[@Hubert_Cumberdale_]

@@Purvis513 yes my guge! Let us forevermore guge upp the comment sections!

[@singleplayermoments]

Skyler Purvis 🤣🤣 What has Spiff created?

[@Purvis513]

@@singleplayermoments He's created... a perfectly balanced meme lmao

[@OctEddie]

I accidentally stumbled into this retinue exploit while I was Norway. I became Scandinavia, took over all over Europe and kept rampaging with zero challenge into the Middle East and Asia.

[@Makem12]

*When Spiff reveals your best secrets to millions of people* I'ma gonna need a pack of tea for compensation!

[@jaxusr235]

Makem12 Well. No.

[@elgenerico5453]

Makem, yes you will, my guge!

[@grantlaiblin5410]

This is sponsored by Guge gang

[@PaxIesus]

"I'll bet you never even heard of Cumania." Of course I have. Their Kipchaks are broken AF, and their pointy-stick horsey bois run roughshod over everything.

[@memebro8703]

Pax Romana but have you heard of the guge?

[@PaxIesus]

@@memebro8703 My guge, of course I've heard of the guge.

[@Lyralium]

Reference AOE and get a like

[@Kandall05161]

Ah, so THIS is how all those damned roving adventurers and peasant uprisings keep showing up with 6 thousand fully trained soldiers

[@Malohdek]

Seriously though lmaoo. EU4 is even worse for uprisings. Like 14k troops while your standing army is still only 9k lmaooo

[@kairuw6477]

Malohdek and somehow those peasants have enough food for it all indefinitely, reinforcements, sometimes higher discipline than you and better weapons. Wtf

[@TheManofthecross]

@@Malohdek to be fair your 9k is better equipped trained and lead then the latter which is much larger but lacking the formor etc. so it is pretty balance unless you fucked up so badly that you got the revolution crises and all of that shits.

[@radordekeche947]

@@Malohdek At least EU4 shows you how many people will join an uprising! And gives you better tools to prevent it. On the other hand, Vic2 is much worse for uprisings. You may still be able to see the numbers, but that doesn't matter when it's essentially every single citizen and half your army at once.

[@serathus3201]

@@radordekeche947 based. I wish they would've designed the concept with Rebellions better though.. if you play as a big nation (e.g China) you will always massacre quite a big part of your Population in addition to the fact that you cant even prevent any rebellion whatsoever

[@nickyoudontgettoknow8291]

How's it going my guge

[@Rextingz]

Pretty good how bout you my guge

[@akumarajio2691]

not mooch my guge

[@rayclawicefire2503]

Doing good my guge how about you?

[@BaneOftheUchiha]

@@rayclawicefire2503 Wassup fellow guges

[@ilo3456]

Pretty go ma guge

[@teaappreciationindividual505]

“All the children had to work in the coal mines” Sounds like the north of England up to the 1980’s Edit: ok, I’ve looked through the replies... I have no words

[@sirbillius]

Sup my Guge!

[@sumoking3002]

or all of UK from 1 Feb 2020

[@Alizudo]

@@sumoking3002 Wat?

[@joannaatkins822]

@@Alizudo Probably Brexit

[@Alizudo]

@@joannaatkins822 Why would people have to go back to the coal mines though.

[@numberslettersstuff]

"He doesnt have much land, but what he does have is land we can occupy. " lol What a Guge.

[@InkyDustMan]

"Germanic-Pagan, Raiding Retinue." Now you're speaking my language-

[@SparseB]

Ballistic what up my guges!

[@Insym]

Spiff: "Literally noone uses retinue" Me conquering the world in every ck2 game with camel/light cav retinue: "You sure?"

[@mainzer45]

Fr. When he said that my first thought was how every series I've watched uses maxed retinue caps, I personally max out my retinues each time. They've been the strongest thing in the game since they were released.

[@TheRealLaking]

mainzer45 huh weird I’m with spiff never seen a point in using them but I don’t focus a whole lot on the combat so I’m not an expert.

[@mainzer45]

@@TheRealLaking yeah my first world conquer campaign was using retinues to conquer the majority of my enemies provinces, and only using my normal army for defences. I had a 40k retinue hold off the sunset invasion 120k doomstack. They're absurd if you get a proper unit comp and focus on them.

[@DatCameraMON]

Don't you need a DLC to use retinues?

[@ErebosGR]

@@DatCameraMON/videos Yeah, the Legacy of Rome DLC.

[@BobVosh]

You're the only madlad I know that has ever called retinues bad and not worth paying attention to, even ignoring the tribal ones with prestige ones.

[@invention64]

Yeah, having a standing army that can be maneuvered before a battle, and has perfect composition is really good in this game

[@Fluffy_Cow]

Spiff: please don't call each other guges Me: ok my guge!

[@Stranger492]

Sup my guge?!

[@AllyDarkWolf]

Sup guge!

[@cf8812]

Good one my guge!

[@nicholassully6556]

Guge just wrote that you are such a guge well played

[@aimohanninen4658]

Sup my guge

[@simon-elrondir8621]

I've done this before and I have a few tips. 1 Grab the heavy retinue with a 33% heavy and 67% Light infantry they are far better when it comes to raiding and will be able to compete against other units later on in the game. My highest size was 10k Light and 5k heavy. Lasted me from year 800 to the end. 2 If you want to raid a lot then grab Malta or any other island in the Mediterranean (besides of Venice) so that you can drop of your raid loot and repeat. Cut down a lot of down time by doing it. My maxed war chest was 80k Gold. 3 Try to pick the intrigue focus and spy on your vassals then find a reason to imprison them, try to make it so they escape and then win the war they started. After you've won take control of one of their holdings which means another fort + first market and a weapon smith. You can also make your chancellor fabricate claims on them in before hand so that you can claim multiple holdings from them. 4 Tech, Try to max out Military Organization as much as possible it will give you ridiculous amounts of retinue cap. Get your spy master in Constantinople easy progress for free. Don't expect to get a 15k retinue size and a 80k war chest the frist time trying this. It took me well over 30 attempts to figure this out :D. Keep up the good work Spiff. I'd appreciate if you could hand a fellow watcher a hand by licking this if you found it helpful

[@tapanikuro]

The method I've found much much better is just having mostly (50%+) Light Cavalry/Light Infantry based army, with the rest being Light infantry or Light + Heavy infantry. Place ALL (or almost all) of your Light Cavalry retinues on the same flank (preferably commander with bonuses to morale damage, flanking and/or light cavalry) and enjoy winning battles against enemies twice your size as your Light cavalry shreds their opposing flank almost immediately, and proceeds to mow the rest with the flanking bonus. For the 2 smaller flanks, defensive commanders with good martial or narrow flank ability are preferable, but their main goal is to survive till the big flank get to mow down everything.

[@ProtoForte]

this works with a bigger starting position like sweden, right? i don't really understand why he went for such a small nation in the beginning?

[@simon-elrondir8621]

@@tapanikuro I could see a extreme benefit in having cavalry in early game.. Maybe have 1/3 cavalry retinue on 1000LH and 2k (Hunting Party) in Right flank and then in the other two small groups of Trappers for the Archers Defensive bonuses. Maybe have two groups, 1 Big for raiding with the Veteran Warriors to make easy money and your Calvary group + Trapper on the other flanks. Thanks for the tip

[@simon-elrondir8621]

@@ProtoForte Well He might have just found this out. I wouldn't really call sweden big in 769, just around 3k levies. Compared to denmark that can mustur around 5k+ from vassals. As long as you start out aggressively by raiding all your nabours and conqueror more territory so you get more people to raid from. It should work from any starting ruler, After you become king you can offer vassalization to people with your own culture and religion. Then just create a big retinue army whilst getting a lot of prestige.

[@Socrates458]

The lord of war has spoken.

[@johnaxios6335]

"Welcome to Crusader Kings 2 where everything is just wrong" ... no no, he's right

[@japanpanda2179]

*Looks at Finnish Russia* Actually this doesn't seem all that wrong

[@japanpanda2179]

@@Eric-mc1jf Yeah I guess it is... But having things like this in a realistic historical context couldn't be funnier.

[@friedlemons5201]

He's not right enough

[@ErneSaurus]

I'd love to see 100 stat man back in ck2, anyone else? Either that or spiff using this to conquer the whole globe

[@krayne-ddg-pmc]

Honestly I would love a series of nothing but world conquest in ck2 using odd tactics

[@blackfang101]

Tried this strat today because i figured, "it aint that overpowered, surely..." Now two hours later here i am with 40k retinues and all i own is most of northern norway, northern sweden and finland. Remember, your hillfort give you +100 retinue size, the first market gives you 20 retinue, the first weaponsmith gives you 25 retinue and 5 less for every lever thereafter, so you can potentially push out way more troops than you'd think after all those modifiers, and retinues don't care if you go over your "demesne" limit, so you just grab all those demesne's for yourself and a short while later, you will have so many retinues the only limit is the amount of prestige you can manage to gather, and if you micro your raiding, thats no issue at all. I could've reached more, but i stopped at 40k because i didn't want to continue raiding just to earn more prestige to use for more retinues.

[@shadowingyou]

You stopped at 40k because you somehow managed to get into the 40k Warhammer universe.

[@SexyRapMaster]

I tried this exact thing (same land, ruler, etc) as in the video and it won’t let me use prestige for retinues, only gold. I don’t know what’s wrong. I have the Norse culture and Germanic religion and everything. Help?

[@PermadeathHD]

@@SexyRapMaster maybe dlc?

[@thabo8757]

@@SexyRapMaster I think it depends on what kind of retinue it is. The housecarls(heavy infantry) cost gold while light infantry costs prestige

[@Knoloaify]

@@SexyRapMaster You need to be tribal and have the Old Gods DLC.

[@darkSorceror]

In my first successful CK2 campaign (single-player), I accidentally used this exploit, but less optimised.

[@Mark0MXx]

I think most people did, why would anyone not use retinues? They are great against raids and other stuff.

[@Boretheory]

@@Mark0MXx i didn’t know they existed lmao i made 2 whole campaigns without them dealing with the Ai Having 2-10k more troops than me all the time they revolted

[@samuelpage5660]

Well done my Guge

[@Ravenheartless322]

"It's Occupation Time". Nothing has ever sounded so English then that phrase and sum up English history.

[@Ethamore]

@Donald Trump Sup my guge.

[@valentinmitterbauer4196]

*cries in british occupation zone of Styria, Carinthia and East- Tyrol from 1945 to 1955*

[@Ravenheartless322]

@Donald Trump tea being culture and stability change my mind.

[@darksteiner631]

Spiff : No sup me guuuuuge Everyone: SUP ME GUUUUUUUUGGGGGEEEEEE

[@robinyeah4134]

yes good.......... guge

[@Sniperbear13]

Sup me Guge.

[@itscheese6063]

if you are the hero of the wolf warriors you can only be injured in battle. add that to being immortal and your character can physically not die

[@dylutant]

you can still die to events like 'chess with death', get murdered via plot, or be burned at stake when accused of apostasy (if you fail at being a viking and get conquered by Catholics). there's no doubt more, like prisoner execution or maybe mummified with that freaky intrigue bloodline, but I never had those so that's me speculating.

[@marksmidt8225]

There’s still actually plenty of ways to die as immortal, all immortality does is ensure you don’t you die of disease and old age. The reduction of injury as a wolf warrior still doesn’t prevent you from being killed in duels, there’s always a 3% or so chance that you’ll lose a duel and potentially die

[@sand2358]

If you don’t say “Wassup my Guge” or something to that extent. Then you’re obviously a coffee drinker..

[@Alizudo]

He literally said NOT to do it though, so who's REALLY the coffee drinker here? 🤔

[@sand2358]

@@Alizudo I'm going to be honest I drink both so potentially me, since the only time I said "Wassup my Guge" was in quotations and thus that would assume I wasn't the one saying it.

[@InevitableD34th]

Well said, my guge.

[@Darthforce122]

@@Alizudo clearly u my guge!😂😂

[@DanteTheEgregore]

Wassup my Guge?!

[@dane1382]

Continue the journey of Reanu Keeves, King of Jorvik, and his 100 STAT STEED!

[@PEAKCENTURY]

Yes

[@stefang.4265]

Yes please

[@plumbingdad]

The glorious glitterhoof

[@Celiktaban]

Getting "Pirate" achievement takes a couple of raiding. No need to spend glorious years on it.

[@AliTheHighest]

You should’ve chose the scholarship focus. The military tech is RIDICULOUSLY overpowered. You can multiply your retinue by SO much!

[@andregon4366]

You're a Guge, you're a Guge, EVERYONE'S A GUGE!

[@Hubert_Cumberdale_]

Indeed my guge

[@wickedwildhog5894]

Me: Actually lives in Angermanland Spiff: Takes over the world using Angermanland Me: Im not even mad, that's impressive!

[@japanpanda2179]

Nice!

[@rbck8826]

Its ångermanland and means regret man land.

[@codythacker229]

“Who wants to be humble? 200 prestige!!!” Spiff is my favorite youtuber😂😂

[@Hornbowman]

Yes, more 100 Stat Man please, the concept never gets old!

[@aenorist2431]

"I love this games naming system." You realize thats how scandinavia worked, and Iceland still does? Harry's son gary is called Garry Harryson ... not even a joke. They don't have family names, at least a majority dont.

[@georgeapg1]

Lol This dude thinks Scandinavia is REAL!

[@jamie5140]

George Pittas well not Denmark.. but Norway and Sweden exist

[@georgeapg1]

@@jamie5140 what are you talking about? Denmark is that little peninsula north of Germany that reaches out into the north sea.

[@jamie5140]

George Pittas not an iSorrow subscriber I see, never mind then. I’m well aware it is real pal, it’s a running joke from another channel spiff used to sometimes play with

[@antiinline]

I'm from sweden, now live in Denmark. This is how it used to be, but it's like this no more. We are still called like Larsson (son of Lars), or Gustafsson (son of Gustaf), but the actual Gustaf lived like a hundred years ago. Nobody really knows who Gustaf or Lars was. When we switched to having family names, people just took their title or parent, and made it their last name/family name. So yeah, everyone has family names, the family is just named after some bloke. It's like how in the UK, all the Potters are not actually, you know, potters by profession. Just by name.

[@alexpalex3453]

fun fact: Angermanland (Ångermanland) actually means Regretmanland. kinda funny

[@RavnVidarson]

That's indeed a fun fact, my guge!

[@grzegorzgrzesiak7498]

cool fact, my guge

[@Hubert_Cumberdale_]

GUUUUUGE!

[@treyslider6954]

Makes sense to me: "We *regret* letting that *man* have *land*" XD

[@Ducky1033]

Spiff: no one uses retinues Me: With my 8000 retinue

[@GustavusAdolphus2]

You are the ultimate Guge

[@crisalexcris15]

40k was the best i did but i think you can go beyound that, but life is short in CK2

[@slasher8765]

Its all i really used in the Byzantine empire, them cataphracts

[@Hachimaro]

​@@slasher8765 Camels are by far the strongest :P Cataphract retinue consists of heavy cavalry and horse archers, which are both utter garbage.

[@neloverg3774]

@@Hachimaro but that LC+HC counter charge or crouched lance charge is MWAH. Kill a norse so hard he becomes a horse

[@bvd90]

Kinda funny watching you take over Finland as a swedish :D Didn't know CK2 was so historically accurate game!

[@arnabbiswasalsodeep]

Sup my guge! How ya guges doing? (someone had to do it)

[@andreasthedevil9314]

Arnab Biswas dang I was going to that my guge

[@ColonelCrisp]

Doing swell my guge.

[@Minucou]

just great my guge

[@oliver28965]

doing great mah guge

[@smokeynifty4376]

Great thanks for asking my guge

[@slipperycipher9889]

Spiff - 'Retinues are over-priced and bad' Also Spiff - *Laughs in tribal*

[@ProfessionalProfessorPat]

Everyone uses retinues, army comp control is op.

[@slipperycipher9889]

@@ProfessionalProfessorPat Yeah but a lot of people can't be bothered to work them out

[@mrjack08722]

@@slipperycipher9889 retinues are easy. Pretty sure its only newer players who dont bother using them. A standing army is incredible for boat bombing 1 day before declaring war and alot of other things.

[@gonzalodohrmanngareis2493]

MrJack08722 highkey you can cripple an enemy kingdom before they gather

[@slipperycipher9889]

@@gonzalodohrmanngareis2493 I suppose but a lot of players think it would be better to put tech elsewhere for feudal

[@aoifecassidy6338]

Me watching this: He has to be exaggerating 3 days later: Huh, India's getting uppity again

[@japanpanda2179]

Interesting. I have got to try this. I used retinues before, as a Finnish pagan, and they were great. I can only imagine how well they'll do for a VIKING.

[@realdragonaspect]

i do enjoy 100 stat man, i wouldnt even mind a legit play through as well! keep up the good work.... brb tea cup is empty

[@AdurianJ]

Decietful - "I'm 17 i promise"

[@PuncakeLena]

So, how are we going to war? Everyone: Swordsmen, paid with money! Spiffing: MEN WITH POINTY STICKS PAID WITH PRESTIGE

[@mikewood8815]

You know, on Monday when I get to work and ask someone, "did you have a good weekend MY GUGE?" I will get very strange looks and I blame you Spiff XD

[@tobystefaan1112]

Haha yes hello my fellow guge’s

[@agentscott96]

Toby Stefaan sup mah guge

[@nixxiom2579]

How are ya guge's

[@Sacrosanctelite]

I love the society we guge's built together

[@msmlolmanpolybrige0335]

We all guge's

[@liamquinlan5103]

Hi my guge

[@OleCrankyGamer]

Spiff: "Who's even heard of Cumania?" KCD players: Why Henry, who has come to visit has heard of such things after a stop at the Baths, Jesus Christ be Praised!

[@cammelotgames4108]

Thats How A Guge Would Talk XD

[@amethystgamer852]

"No one uses retinues" They're literally vital.

[@jungletrouble8296]

That's why I kept losing battles even thoug my army was bigger, at least I learned something today.

[@aenorist2431]

You cannot play a decent game of CK2 without them, and never could. Brit just discovered this weird thing called money in monopoly, its totally weird ... (The 'exploit' is the paying with prestige while they make you more prestige then they cost)

[@lorddashdonalddappington2653]

@Herdan Hm, yeah it's almost like being a tribal pagan has some downsides that can fuck you up if you don't literally cheat lmao.

[@teun911]

@@aenorist2431 the only exploit is that you can keep them like that after feudalizing.

[@polktech]

Yeah they really are. Also his army would get fucking slapped in a fight with any roughly equal sized civilzed army.

[@internetcitizen7633]

Spiff: *Calls regretmanland "angermanland".* Me: "I wish".

[@willh8950]

Spiff: Id like better land Brittany: ahh, no? Spiff: *THATS NOT VERY GUGE OF YOU*

[@japanpanda2179]

This is also awesome because Guge follows Bon which is the best religion.

[@vegetableman3911]

Germany: We will create lebensraum and only aryan races Spiff: Hold my tea

[@belisarius6949]

cool story my guge

[@levie8269]

@@belisarius6949 he told you not to say that

[@larochejaquelein3680]

Vegetable Man as a german I feel offended

[@belisarius6949]

@@levie8269 But I did anyway : )

[@enderbold7038]

@@levie8269 okay guge

[@MrAlsPals]

Colour me British: Global Edition

[@ethanhampl1520]

Nice joke, my guge

[@vaciuxfox435]

Damn my Guge has grown as a content creator

[@hrvojeantoniobusic3345]

Indeed m' guge

[@MrRonny6]

I always love when I see that my guge Spiffing uploaded CK2!

[@arafdi]

"Retinues are expensive!" Me: *types 'cash' in console command*

[@arafdi]

@@IchigoMait tribal retinues, kinda. Since they cost prestige. Feudals (which are the majority of factions on CK2) do cost gold. Chill bruv.

[@maverick9275]

@@IchigoMait you've clearly never played the game or at the very least feudalism. Only pagans get free retinues (prestige and piety)

[@daltoncrow6486]

I imagine prestige paying for your troops is akin to people throwing baskets of food and money at you as you walk by

[@TheArtistKnownAsNooblet]

"were gonna start as a Germanic pagan" Wait, is there another way to play CK2?

[@jaxusr235]

Jonathon Hardee I mean. I’ve always enjoyed playing on Sardinia or the two islands off the eastern coast of Iberia.

[@auraguard0212]

There's also 9/15/1066 Ireland, 12/26/1066 Cornwall, & 867 Karen.

[@Pchlster]

Once you go viking... everything else just feels like a waste of time.

[@omegasrevenge]

I enjoy playing as a family of Venice a lot, destroying your competition, becoming doge, making insane gold and conquering land from surrounding kingdoms and joining the scholar society to build up a library of overpowered magnum opus books.

[@Pchlster]

But when we're using the ruler designer, there's nothing stopping you from being a Germanic Pagan Doge of Venice. ;) Honestly, it's a fun, if ridiculous playstyle.

[@Andy-jq5yw]

Alright, hear me out: Beyonce fans: Beyhive Doctor Who fans: Whovians My Little pony fans: Bronies Spiffing Brit Fans: Guges

[@cptpoell9113]

Andy Dont like it anymore, it has 69 likes!!!

[@Hiroakiarai88]

I just wanna say this video got me into ck2. Thank you

[@Sharnoy1]

Spiff's pronunciation of Swedish and Finnish names is pure (comedy) gold ^^

[@zipp4everyone263]

*Sees that he's the son of Harry and is named Harrysson* "This game has an incredible naming system" ... Scandinavia and Iceland: Are our countries games to you?! =P

[@SilverionX]

A lot of countries used to have this naming system, it just stuck with us for a long time and became regular last names that didn't change each generation.

[@josefjakobson586]

Ah yes, I remember learning about Henry tgr immortal of Ångermanland taking over the world in history class

[@japanpanda2179]

And I remember Finnish Russia. But alas, it was not to be...

[@Serrifin]

I must have missed that day in class probably happened between the class about Austria taking over the world, and Japan taking over the world

[@wrillwastaken]

We, the guges must be the most friendly nation! All of you fellow guges are great warriors and wizards!

[@sebbes333]

As a Swede, this is history accurate.

[@omppusolttu5799]

Pohjanmaa: Exists Spiff: Pyöhmänmua.

[@japanpanda2179]

I like to play as Finns and turn all those places back to their native names.

[@ricmrp]

How to recruit Grizzly bears and pay them with tiny crowns: a tutorial

[@Slapdash_86]

Why hello my fellow tea drinking Guges Ma Guges I do believe that we should continue referring to ourselves as Guges in all future videos

[@mattcorr5597]

Having a full on playthrough of this from you wouldn't be half bad, ur a very entertaining host

[@no_one_of_that_name_here]

100 stat man please and thank you. I'm having a lovely tea by the way.

[@keanudirkse541]

Whats up my Guges. Never been this early before

[@larryh2099]

The Spiffing Brit: "No one uses retinues" I have over *100k* retinues in one of my roman reformation ironman games.

[@quesma444]

Exactly, and those retinues are so damn powerful.

[@jakej2680]

They're so useful for keeping vassals in line. Also for curbstomping annoying raiders

[@TheJiroScope]

Mongolian army: highly trained army on horses. Spiffing Britt: bunch of Guges with sticks running in a general direction.

[@DurzoBlunts]

Guges*

[@SorowFame]

And yet the Spiffing Brits army is more effective.

[@1ManRandom]

Sorow Fame Sorow Fame Sorow Fame Trust me, as someone who watched a Aquitanian army of mostly heavy infantry/cavalry wipe the floor with a light infantry-based Malian army 3 times its size, a horde of light infantry will only get you so far. It works fine here since most of his enemies are smaller tribal, light-infantry heavy nations, but those 11k troops of his aren’t going to do terribly well against a heavy infantry-based army (especially if their commanders are roughly equal) unless Spiffing’s army significantly outnumbers them.

[@SThapper]

Ångermanland more or less translates to “land of men with regrets”... so they would indeed be angry!

[@Hubert_Cumberdale_]

It actually translate into GUUUUUGE!

[@detritus5151]

Do you absolutely have to break every game you touch? - Fabulous, keep up the good work. I just started a playthrough, but I think it's time for a new one (insert evil laugh)🧐

[@felinecube4953]

Hey my Guges, what’s cracking?

[@belisarius6949]

hi guge

[@vanyel_etc8695]

Huge guge to you my dude

[@Abysswalker8220]

Greetings fellow Guges. I hope all is well in Gugetopia

[@rubenderegge8198]

Hey my Guge, it's really tea-ing today... what's boiling with you?

[@mizuki8712]

Your guge here, it's been a nice day.

[@haydenbasick857]

100 stat man: The return of the exploits

[@captainchekhov2055]

Tried this while playing with a friend, and I came across two fun things/exploits: 1) if you build up your retinue and then decide you want to upgrade from tribalism to, say, a merchant republic, the game apparently still thinks that that retinue cost prestige. The prestige cost does go up due to the drop in retinue cap, but still doesn’t cost any gold. Does not hold for retinue built afterwards though. 2) turns out that, if you are playing as a vassal of your friend, you do not generate any threat and defensive pacts cannot be formed against you. Therefore, if you play as a vassal, you can conquer with impunity. Combined with the special conquest of any costal or border territory for Germanic pagans, and fun things can be done... Perfectly balanced as all things should be, thanks CK2

[@Oblithian]

This is useful information

[@artyd42]

The inner Sparrow has asked me to type "There should be a Captain in there" when you speak of his pirate lifestyle.

[@aliridashugaa3611]

27:46 “absolutely terrifying commanders” Having seen the wrath of women like Ulrike Mary Theodosa Smythe-Wellington these men seem puny

[@mrjack08722]

Ahh. A man with taste i see.

[@Benjamin-zb1we]

Totaly agre

[@jonsipops1999]

These men would crumble into dust just by standing near battle grandma 2.0

[@acreepykiwi6788]

If there was ever a video that should have been sponsored by Raid: Shadow Legends...

[@chrisscott6254]

That would have been Epic!

[@WikterRor2807]

Immortality does change a lot... Especially with retiunes, as the more you live the more prestige you get

[@crusher4973]

0:00 anyone wanna tell spiff pikemen only do damage in the melee phase edit: wow 25 likes thanks

[@nameless5413]

"welcome to Crussader Kings II, where everything is just wrong" - spiff (prelude to breaking the game in fact) god man thats just so perfect. As for game wish involving spiff - would it not be interesting if he gotten involved with something like Stanley Parable (or spiritual successor to that idea), yes as narrator but also in some game design. i think i would enjoy trying to learn to look at game mechanics and thinking "yeah no this wont do, but maybe i can make it work in some strange and different manner?"

[@Nightcoffee365]

“THE SPIFFING BRIT” BEGINS AND ENDS WITH T(EA)!

[@spector103]

@@CassidyCope 🤣