Cuddlist Chronicles: "WHY Can't We be Friends"

[@piperpilot26]

Very insightful. It's nice to see you talk about this subject, seeing how we as humans can easily get attached emotionally to one another. This has definitely crossed my mind in the past when thinking about going through with a cuddling session.

[@JanetTrevino]

yes... totally. it is real. and a line that's hard to draw. still learning.

[@JoshuaCaudell]

If I were to give you a leather band wrist watch with inverted watch bands buckled on your left arm wrist with the short watch band with the buckle clasp oriented at the 6 o'clock position of the watch and the long tail band oriented at the 12 o'clock position of the watch, would you wear that watch on your left arm wrist if I were to be your client in front of me in person, Ms. Trevino?

[@JanetTrevino]

Joshua Caudell I'm a yes to this as a simple request. (Does it mean anything?)

[@alyssacuddlist3651]

What you said about this work being a part of who you are and how you live your life really resonates with me as this is how I am about it as well. Because I feel ultimately, truly, and fully called to live this, and I believe that those who are this way about it are the ones with the most to offer others in this work through their way of being and living overall. It can't just be work and still be so fully impactful, it has to be who you are.

[@JanetTrevino]

Yes. And we have different assets in doing that work. So if one practitioner doesn’t work, try another!

[@DJcyberslash]

Good points

[@JoshuaCaudell]

I really do love your earrings that you have on that are in your video, Ms. Trevino.

[@johncaraway5388]

This video helped me more than any of the others with my situation. I watch it every other week. 😉 Thank you.

[@JanetTrevino]

John Caraway wow! I'm very grateful to contribute to your life. Would you be interested in me interviewing you on your thoughts?

[@johncaraway5388]

Janet Trevino no thanks. Very shy. Sorry.

[@JanetTrevino]

i understand. ((hugs offered))

[@laela6289]

I understand the need for this organization to exist but the fact that “cuddlists” exist in the first place is extremely alarming. Touch should not be so tabooed and depraved in our every day human interactions that we have to seek professionals to cuddle us. It will never be fully satisfying for your clients because cuddling is the is the most primal way that humans form bonds with other humans, like... before we could even talk, cuddling or skin-to-skin contact was how we formed our first relationship in our entire life (our relationship with our mother). So wanting friendship is a natural progression from spending lots of time in close physical contact. It releases oxytocin that makes you trust and want to be more emotionally open with the person you’re with. These things are all very connected, and touch and being loving and emotional available isn’t something you just isolate and sell to clients, especially with stuff like cuddling

[@JanetTrevino]

YES. I agree that in an ideal world this would be the natural way we could connect. I wish it was so! Friendship IS a natural progression. I agree. This is difficult stuff to navigate especially since as a culture we haven't addressed it as best as we could. Individual stories trump these societal ideals.

[@equs1b]

I know this video is 3years old now, but I'm sending that there is shadow work that could be done around this for you. I'm not sure that you should deny a potentially life changing close friendship for any of the reasons you stated. If someone is willing to give up their sessions with you inorder to be your friend, potentially because they WANT to give back to you some love and support in a genuine way, I'm not sure it's good to be closed to this. Obviously it would only work in certain situations and one must be careful navigating this but I feel that you have a wall, or maybe a boundary that is possibly there from your own trauma. Consider that if you would, that maybe this person was brought to you to look at that wound and maybe assist in it's healing for you.

[@JanetTrevino]

So much shadow in me! I'm so not that person anymore, but I will say that I don't friend clients. That's still a boundary.

[@brittanybear9951]

Thank you for this (:

[@JanetTrevino]

You're welcome!

[@l.r.9321]

So.. how big is your client ? 😅

[@JanetTrevino]

Oh man I wish I knew the context to your question. I'm not watching my video again tho. lol.

[@alyssacuddlist3651]

I think she just means the client is big in the sense that she has had a lot of regular sessions with them up to that point. Like they are one of the clients she's had the most sessions with out of all the clients she's ever had. It can be easy to develop the kind of attachment in that situation where you've spent so much time together that a friendship feels like what you want to progress to. But, as Janet explained, the way a friendship looks and the way a client-practitioner relationship looks are very different. So, moving it to a friendship isn't actually progressing; it's not a deeper and more evolved form of the client-practitioner relationship, it's another thing altogether.

[@ronniewashington692]

you have a nice voice and you are so beautiful with your pretty smile and your pretty long hair and you are so lovely

[@JanetTrevino]

Thank you.

[@libimyheart7855]

Do you benefit from doing this

[@JanetTrevino]

Yes. I love creating spaces for people to be themselves & see who they are more deeply.

[@alrensha7479]

Although I respect your opinion, I disagree with some of it. I dont think there is any problem/should be any issue with you being friends with a client. Every situation and relationship is different. Also, you mention that there is no confidentially in some of your friendships, especially with guys. I feel this is wrong and there should always be confidentiality in every relationship unless it has been discussed previously.

[@JanetTrevino]

Thank you for sharing. I’m definitely my own version of unique. Friendships now are even more difficult. I do keep clients in the professional realm more consistently now.

[@libimyheart7855]

I think sex can get in the way. It would be nice to just cuddle with someone who doesn't exspect anything.

[@JanetTrevino]

That’s it!! ABSOLUTELY!!

[@RaiderRSupastar]

That is why if I ever choose to cuddle to get single women not married women

[@JanetTrevino]

Are you looking for a possible relationship?

[@RaiderRSupastar]

I respect marriage so no way I cuddle with a married woman. A good friend or two outside cuddling is fine with me. I am on another site and I met this pro cuddler and she lives 200 miles away from me in the same state. Her city is more progressive than mine which is slow and boring. My city was driving me down and all my good friends are out of state so I took a risk and set up a session with her in her city. She is a good pro and we talk a lot during the session. I think we now have a good potential friendship. Yes she is a business woman like you but I knew going in so I am fine. I am working on getting a local cuddler in my city which is very hard and also with having a few cuddlers you won't just develop feelings if you have only just one. I commit to only touching her or any other during the session. If she is loyal and fair, I would be the same back

[@JanetTrevino]

Would you cuddle w a women that’s in a relationship but not married?

[@RaiderRSupastar]

Maybe. I tend to book period with those who acknowledge in her profile that she is not in a relationship as I say on mine. Even she was in one, she is not this man's wife.

[@JanetTrevino]

Did you know that many of the pro Cuddler’s that I know have partners/spouses that are very comfortable with their job? Their marriage is secure enough to do her work or she’s polyamorous or she’s in an open relationship. Would this make a difference to you? In other words, does marriage exempt her from work? From doing what she loves? From connecting w other human beings?

[@libimyheart7855]

What if a heterosexual woman just wants a girly friend

[@JanetTrevino]

Then she can go out & find one! We are professionals & can support you while you find your friend!

[@nichole9943]

This is so unnatural lol especially girls wanting to be friends with their girl cuddliest. Why can't they be friends and they can get another cuddliest? For me I would feel very depressed to cuddle with someone and know that it's just professional.. because for me that means the connection isn't real and I hate superficiality. This is the reason I don't have one night stands either... This is basically a cuddle one night stand unless you have more money to pay for the cuddliest to come back. Lol

[@sori6196]

Agreed!!

[@JanetTrevino]

I can see what you mean. I really want women to ask other women for cuddling. Friends. It doesn’t need to be transactional.

[@alejandroguardado5748]

This is so confusing to me. I don’t mean any disrespect to your profesión. To me human touch seems intimate by nature. I don’t see how the “profesional” boundaries can be maintained. You mentioned that your clients get more of “you” than your friends. Confusing! You also mention that cuddling is for you more than a profesión, yet you talk about keeping it profesional. ??? How effective can a fake hug be without real affection?

[@sends2aaron]

I have no choice but to give this video its first thumbs down... For the singing

[@JanetTrevino]

Hahahahahaha! That’s hilarious. #theonlywayaroundcopyright

[@demonprincess5634]

so your just a big tease then

[@JanetTrevino]

Lunastarling how do you define tease?

[@chris2790]

Having to pay for intimacy is weird enough - it's artificial. Trying to throw friendship into the mix would make it even more weird and confusing.