Culture Shocks of an American Living in Denmark

This week I sit down with a professional speaker, coach, author and Podcast host Kay Xander Mellish to talk about living in Denmark, from work culture, to communication, to making friends, to dating .. and everything in between.
Check out Kay's work: / how2liveindk
www.howtoliveindenmark.com/
/ @how2liveindenmark
Each week I will interview guests from all around the world on the topics of culture, connection and of course, dating. The goal is to go as deep as possible and to really understand where we all come from and how much culture influences our life.
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0:00 Intro
2:00 American vs Danish mentality
3:20 Don't do this in Denmark
4:40 What is the Danish work environment like?
5:35 Danish customer service?
6:29 Swedish vs Danish culture
7:00 Drinking culture in Denmark
9:45 American vs Danish competitiveness
11:40 Self sufficiency in Denmark
13:00 Raising kids in Denmark vs US
16:26 Privacy in Denmark
18:30 Are Danes blunt and direct?
20:00 Why is time so important in Denmark?
22:00 Expressiveness is a no-go in Denmark?
24:00 Making friends in Denmark
28:00 How are Danish get togethers different?
32:00 Are there layers to Danish friendship?
35:00 Why Danes love their homes
36:00 How to survive the Danish winter?
40:00 Are Danish homes identical?
41:00 How do Danes date?
43:00 Are Danish men passive?
45:50 Gender roles in dating in Denmark
47:00 What do Danes think about s*x?
50:00 How has Denmark changed you?
54:00 Are Danes happy?

[@ArthurOfThePond]

"There is a cost to that"... I think it's near impossible to calculate the cost - or rather the savings - of not leaving people behind in poverty. When everyone has a good life and a decent living standard the whole country blossoms.

[@KimSrumPoulsen]

20 years in my country and she still doesn´t have a clue of things here. We must be more mysterious than I thought.

[@bundfisker794]

Spot on 😂

[@rigormortis4837]

I was about to say the same thing. She is clueless 😂. Sorry lady you didn’t get it. Danes are not pretentious but it is all about the intent.

[@Trion332]

@@rigormortis4837 she sounds like a republican that got stuck in Denmark and is forced to stay

[@ane-louisestampe7939]

We mostly use the Jante Law to kick upwards. Not so much downwards.

[@thomashovgaard3134]

As a dane, this was 57 minutes of absolute nonsense.

[@jandmath]

I think this conversation explains a lot about why Americans are often less liked than ‘other people’. Every trait in the Danish culture is compared to American culture as if latter is a kind of baseline. And in doing so, making a lot of far-fetched conclusions.

[@Ilnath]

I wouldn't say I ever had a bad experience with customer service in Denmark. I'm Danish myself, so I understand the nuances in the language. Most Danes try to be friendly with one another. Sometimes you might have a bad experience in a clothes shop, but it's mostly very young employees.

[@michelleg7]

ahahaha sounds like Paris in regards to the customer service issues there

[@mumimor]

Totally agree! And also, you have to always say hello when you enter and also thank you, probably several times during a conservation. If you are polite, you will amazing service in Denmark. It's like with friends. If you do it right people will be loyal and go beyond limits to help you.

[@chellehansen]

We do have customer service here in Denmark, you will just have to ask for it. I actually hate to go to a shop where the clerk follow me around, or keep an eye on me the whole time. I feel like a criminal or i have done something wrong 😅 I think it it is really normal in Denmark to ask for help from a clerk if u want help and then they will do evrything they can to help you to find the thing u need. And if i go out to eat with friends and family it is because i want to have a good time, talking and use quality time with them and not a waiter. I find it annoying if the waiter is hovering around me and asking me if evrything is okay evry 10 sec. So i actually like it how it is 😁 And another thing is, that in Denmark you actually get a good wage so u dont have to kiss butt to get a good tip to get food on the table.

[@Foobarski]

I think so many Swedes working in Denmark is only partly explained by the currency difference, as many Swedes worked in Denmark before the recent rise in the value of the Danish crowns. I think it is better explained by Denmark having a much more flexible employment market. It is way easier to fire people in Denmark than in Sweden, and therefore employers are much more willing to take a chance and hire somebody they are not 100% sure about. Denmark have a so called Flexsecurity system where it is easy to fire people, but we also have fairly generous unemployment benefits.

[@hjordis6817]

Yes true! You work 40 week hours in SE and 37 in DK, and even then you are only payed 2/3 in SE of what you get in DK. Work culture is very diffenent opening for misunderstandings.

[@lassechristensen2573]

And very strong unions. Which is uniquely Danish.

[@Perra1901]

Also when you work outside Sweden you also pay lower income tax on earned money. Still its only like 2-5% less than IF you would be working inside Sweden. But it also depends on wich "Traktamenten" you are able to use.

[@veronicajensen7690]

95% I agree as a Dane on what she say, I will however nuance some of the things, about really rich people with a lot of success like Elon Musk, we do have a lot of those think of LEGO, MÆRSK ect. it's very wealthy families that Danes are very proud of, there are people doing great in sports we are proud of, Restaurants getting prizes ect., the difference is we don't like if they think they are better, having more value as a person, but we do celebrate their success, we don't like bragging as she said and we don't like if when people think they are better if they have a certain job, that certainly not mean there aren't people who are and see themselves as part of an elite they just better not say it out loud. About drinking I agree there is a drinking culture and some people drink way too much, it is however important to know it is far far far from everybody, in my close family and among friends there are no heavy drinkers they actually rarely drink, same thing with hook ups yes there are a certain segment of the population who have a lot of one night stands but that is as mentioned a segment not the majority, way less than there are people who drink a lot, about nudity it has changed a lot the last 30 years a lot of people aren't comfortable with nudity and it's not only Muslims it's in general

[@stineolsen6507]

Regarding the 'brok' ( complaining ) i think its mostly about optimizing. We have all the infrastructure, and trained people. So why the waiting list, and lost time, to get things done. We ARE very practical people, and we know we CAN HAVE IT ALL, so it frustrates us when we dont! We have spilled blood, sweat and tears for MANY years, to have our society. We are a proud nation. If we fall we catch each other. We work to live, not the other way around. Yes, you are giving trust, but that dosnt mean you are ' in the circle. Danes are not shy, we are humble. Compared to other countries, we know the world doesn't revolve around us. And thats okay, if you dont like the smell in the bakery, just leave. ❤

[@Julleisa]

The complaining is, in a way, a tool to keep the politicians at there toes, so they don't take bad decisions towards the people.

[@chellehansen]

I cant really agree on the i only have 8 chair's so i can only feed 8 people, that is not how we do it where i come from, and i am from Fyn in Dennark. If someone ask if they can bring a person or pesons it would be a yes, because i will always have room for more people, it is no problem we just put more plates on the table and find another chair and maybe be a little more crammed together. And i grew op with the saying "hvor der er hjerterum er der husrum" translated directly it means, Where there is heart room there is house room or more correctly where there is space in the heart there is space in the house. And the thing about not giving Kids dinner if they are playing with my kid is not because i dont want to feed other Kids if they are playing with my kid, but the Kids parents are probably waiting with dinner when they get home so it would be totally rude of me if the kid already ate and cant eat anything when they go home for dinner, so it has nothing to do with me not having enough food, but it is really normal to eat dinner together with your family in Denmark so we expect the kid to eat when they get home. I of course also have my Kids friends eating here, but then they would have to call their parents and ask if it is okay that they eat here so the parents dont expect them for dinner at home 😊

[@jensh69]

With its 5,894,687 inhabitants (according to the latest estimate from the CIA World Factbook), Denmark has won one medal per 535,880 inhabitants. In comparison, Russia has won one medal per 2,004,518 inhabitants, the USA has won one medal per 2,964,588 inhabitants, while China has "only" won one medal per 15,885,201 inhabitants. So even though the Danes are not so competitive in sports, we still manage very well and we have fun in the meantime.

[@bzdtemp]

Selling books about how it is in Denmark, that doesn't mean you actually got a clue. It just means you're good at marketing.

[@mortenlundbjrk7667]

To me you describe Denmark from what I as a Dane have as stereo types of copenhagen....

[@bountihuntervoc]

agree on that she only describe people from copenhagen. she should travel the rest of the land too see how the danish people relly are

[@HelleKurstein]

Blind-sighted stereo type is right. Copenhagen mostly consists of 1st, 2nd, 3rd generation from other parts of the country - with strong connections to their origins/relatives in other parts of DK. People like you do not want that connection?

[@HelleKurstein]

@@bountihuntervoc Dividing Denmark like that is so deeply tragic, as interdependent and interconnected as we all are.

[@Gert-DK]

Strange, she mentioned the Swedes as the “big brother”. In fact, it is the other way around and have been since the Viking age. From the Viking, we have learned that the Norwegians were violent once. They picked up a fight quite fast. The Swedes were the complete opposite. They didn't fight much, they were content in just a little. Kind of lazy, actually. The Danes were the clever brother, used their brains before going into a fight. Danes were the brains of the Vikings, Norwegians were the muscles. Swedes, the “boring” and a little useless brother, but he is our brother and still are. Have a look at the history. Time after time you can see the Swedes just copying Denmark, and they still do. The big one: Social Democracy. Denmark 1871, Sweden 1889. The complete Swedish system is a copy of the Danish. BTW, Germany copied it via Willy Brandt, Austria via Bruno Kreisky, Spain from Willy Brandt. Sweden is just a copycat, waiting to see what will Denmark do? I am fine with it, but don't make people think that Sweden is “Big Brother” here in Scandinavia. There is a reason why Denmark is way richer than Sweden per capita. We are the "Big Brother" and we still use our brain.

[@hjordis6817]

Interesting to hear. I am a swede living in DK since 20 years. I recognize many things that you say. Also the swedes doesn't like 'bragging' in the 'american' way and talking with a loud voice or all the time without pauses. Even in your own garden, you keep your voice low and don't play music outside, not to disturb your neigbours. You don't interrupt anyone speaking. A thing that has changed here especially after Covid is, that I often find myself in conversations with strangers in all type of situations from meeting somebody when taking a walk, on the train, in the shop etc. - also sometimes ending up in deep and interesting conversations or just having a laugh together. I think it is very valuable to start to learn danish as soon as you move here. You can have up to 3 years of personalized, high quality full time studies for free close to where you live. It ends with a very formal exam with grades. Very usable if you want to study or work here. Doing that, is very well seen and appreciated and opens many doors. Danish is extremely difficult language to learn to talk, if you arn't very young. In some cases you also can get economical support during that time to be able to focus on your studies. But I think that you must start your danish studies within 3 months after moving here to get it for free. English of course is always working also in many work places, because the danes speak english very well, but mostly with a strong danish accent. Neither I, have had any problems with custum service here. Yes, I agree that people are friendly and patient even if there are some language difficulties or confusions leading to misunderstandings, just that I do my best to be understood and be kind. I don't agree with you, that 'danes' talk and act in a flat manner'. That is really an interpretatoin from your personal side or american conditioning, not catching the nyances of verbal and non-verbal expressions. There are clear nuances but sometimes subtle. You have to learn the 'tone' they use, to catch if they are glad for, dissatisfied or hurt with something you say. You learn that in The School for Forengers. They can express anger very direct and especially the younger generation are more expressive emotionally. The oldest generation are keeping what they mean more tight to the skin. You don't talk about money or politics if you don't know the other very well or' have a sense', that they mainly agree with your views. It is important to show respect for others views in the way you respond to what they say. To do that is a high way universally is my experience. There are clear differences if you live in West Jutland or Copenhagen area. I love this country and am greatful for the security and help we can get here when in need, even if I have to pay 8% more in taxes here then i Sweden and the cars are extremely expensive. Normal full time week day work is 37 hours/week. If you work evenings/nights/weekends you often work less week hours total. It is not expected to work extra without being compensated extra economically. The 'rush transport hours' are 7-8 and 15 - 16. After that you see people in food shops, fitness, or just at home. PS! Here it is time for a 'lagkage' (a cake) when you have something to celebrate or you are sad - when you meet, get back from a holliday, birthday, see a friend, a success .... Yes they can drink a strong beer late afternoon together before leaving the job, especially at manual jobs. I think people drink less and less and if and how you do it is depending on the sub culture which you are around. 20 years ago many were smoking. Now only few do. You 'underdress' or better said dress relaxed also in 'white colar jobs'. 🌍🍰❤

[@bogirrasmussen4883]

I think there is one thing people forget, when they talk about 'hygge'. It is a concept in use throughout the year, but the main reason it arose at all is because of the dark winter. That is when we turn our houses into 'hyggelige' (cozy) places. Personally I love every season, and I don't long for the summer and the light when it is winter, but enjoy the winter and the darkness while it is there. I think every season are special and I think we are lucky to have them all.

[@muhest]

I highly disagree with Kay in terms of “indifferent” attitude towards customer service. Customer service is also leaving your customers to have a good time in the company theyre in. When I go to a restaurant to eat, I also want to share a meal with friends/family without having to talk to a stranger who grovels for tips, assuring him every ten minutes, that everything is fine. I’m there for me. Not to support him and his family. Janteloven is also supportive in the sense that everyone in a company is encouraged to share ideas. If an idea is really good for the entire company and workforce, does it really matter if the janitor came up with it? In terms of friends … I wouldn’t necessarily say danes are difficult to befriend. I might be biased. After all … I am born into the culture. 😉 But unlike a lot of other countries, danes have a very tight friend group. A lot of us knows our friends from kindergarten, and stay close throughout our lives. So we have friends we’ve known for a very long time. And sadly … the thing about being a newcomer to a group … very hard to get “admitted”. So Kay is probably more right about that. But … once you’re “let in”, you often have a fiercely loyal friend for life. Who will defend you to the death. One of the favorite passtimes in Denmark is complaining. Are you really danish if you don’t complain - sort of thing. 😂 We are well aware of things not being perfect. And until it’s changed - we complain. 😂

[@olekreiberg]

I wonder why Americans think that Danes drink more alcohol than the Americans. According to the UN health organization WHO Denmark ranks as number 35 in the world when it comes to consumption of alcohol per capita. USA and Denmark are on the same level. I have visited the USA several times and stayed there all together more than 3 years. I have seen so many drunken Americans and the more I see of that and the drug abuse in the USA I wonder from where the Americans have got the prejudice that alcohol consumption is much higher in Denmark than in the USA.

[@vaeldsable]

Robert Greene's The 48 Laws of Power gives the impression of being serious and universal. "Janteloven" was meant as satire. Danish students can study wherever in the world they want-still financed [by the government]. You pay back later through taxes.

[@nicolaischartauandersen8796]

As a Dane, it's such a relief to hear a balanced, informed, healthy discussion about Scandinavian culture. No, it's not a paradise here; and it's not a socialist living hell either. I follow American news quite a lot, and I hardly recognize my own country in the very internal American debates where Scandinavian countries are portrayed as either a paradise or a terrible example - I often feel sort of used in that context. Your discussion has real curiosity and nuance; thank you🙂 - Oh, and yeah, I think you are spot on all points; also the ones that are less comfortable to hear.

[@datingbeyondborderscast]

Dane approved! Thanks for the comments 😊 I am happy you enjoyed the conversation.

[@fastertove]

This was more an interview than a discussion. A discussion could also make for a interesting video, digging more into the why of things.

I find it interesting, that since I left school 30 years ago, I have never heard the word jante lov, unless it is in these youtube videos about Denmark... I wonder who you talk to. Have you seen how much individualists teens in Denmark are today? They may not be bragging about things, but there is deffently a "Me! What I want! Dont care bout the group" (both in positive and negative ways)

[@masalamasand2259]

as someone who lived and worked in usa i am happy for my experience living in the usa, and i went back to denmark after 3 years, and i was glad to ho back home, i was glad for theyears living in the usa, it gave a lot of good for my life.

[@kianadk]

I'm 8 minutes in this interview and already I'm thinking WTF? Does this woman understand danish culture and mentality at all? I haven't read her books or heard her podcasts, but I sit here with a feeling of not really wanting to because of the lack of insight she have demonstrated within the first 8 minutes...... Sorry

[@jenswand9264]

ROFLMAO, Denmark is supposed to have low alcohol prices. I went there for a new years trip and we crossed the border to germany to buy beer at a german gas station (~50% increase on the sales price for items), but ended up paying less than in a supermarket in denmark.

[@user-xi6nk4xs4s]

The low prices is only true in a Nordic context.

[@JackJackrabbit]

she forgot the part where danes go to germany to buy alcohol

[@spyro257]

@@JackJackrabbit and Swedes go to Denmark for alcohol...

[@jakobnielsen9165]

20 years and stil clueless

[@lassechristensen2573]

To say that there are "13 year olds rolling around the streets drunk out of their minds" is a wild exaggeration. Sure we might have tasted beer at that age but getting drunk at that age will lift eye brows here ad well. We do have very excessive drinking compared to other countries around us and it IS a problem for sure. But lets not blow things out of proportion thank you very much. I wonder where she lives and what realities she is faced with on a daily...

[@peartree8338]

When the GDPR was first implemented here in Sweden we had to remove every picture of the kids at the preschool. We started documenting "hands and feet", basically if the kids were playing with LEGO we'd zoom in on the hands. What we ended up with was 3-5 years of kids not having memories of their lives at the preschool. Sickening really because kids generally don't have memories from the years before 5-6 years of age. Good job, EU. 😡

[@user-xi6nk4xs4s]

That's more an implementation issue than it is a problem with the GDPR itself.

[@scarba]

As a Scottish woman who married a German and been here in Germany half my life I’ve forgotten my roots a lot but I’m fascinated by different cultures. I hope there’s a show about Scottish culture one time. Scotland seems to have a mixture of Anglo Saxon and Scandinavian aspects. Shy people who drink to overcome it and definitely the don’t get too big for your boots culture. I remember all my Scottish boyfriends were shy too.

[@anotherelvis]

Regarding sports, we do have some fairly competitive soccer academies for a country of our size, but I guess that there is a difference between elite sports and normal sports.

[@RivyO]

Kay is fascinating and I loved how honest she was. I’m going to Denmark and this helped

[@mammasut8280]

Please don't. Denmark is full. There's a reason why Europe are going to the right side politically. 20% of the Population in Copenhagen are foreigners. Do you think Danes want to be a minority in our thousand year old nation? The only ones that think you are welcome are the industry that is going to make money on you. And the far left, which is despised by most Danes. . . .Especially after their resent display of anit semitism.

[@anotherelvis]

As a Dane, I think that there is a lot of truth in this... I get annoyed by overeager customer service. BTW the dutch sociologist Geert Hofstede provides a framework that helped me understand the differences between the cultures that I met while living abroad.

[@datingbeyondborderscast]

Ah yes. Hofstede insights are really interesting

[@claesmansson9070]

Aahaa ha,. the danish krone is a little. stronger than the swedish ?, understatement of the day, 1 swedish krona is 0,,64 dkr today.

[@0men916]

About not giving kids visitng friends food at the dinner time. The rationale behind that is quite simple. If not agreed ahead. The kid are supose to go home and eat. Because a parent at home is preparing a dinner at home . not going home to eat = wasting food and THAT is a BIG no-no. So if your kid and the visiting kid both wants the visitng kid to eat. The visitng kid has to call home to get a permission to stay on and eat. The other parent are quite often also calls back and verify its ok. AFTER asking if it is ok to stay on. Because the visiting kid Intrude by "selfinvite" him self to anothers family dinner..

[@Seanonyoutube]

wasting food? are danes not aware of the existence of a fridge to store leftovers?

[@heidiboddum5669]

And as a dane, my two kids was not eating alot, so i would be really anoyed if other parents gave my kids food without my knowledge, becaurse i tried to get some quality food they liked into Them, for the little they eat. I would say it is a bit of ` bad behavior` to give other People’s kids food without asking the parents. Off course that does not include a snack afther School, but the dinner is a no no without accept from parents.

[@anotherelvis]

As for as I understand it is less common for American families to eat dinner together every single day. In Denmark the dinner is a daily ritual of family cohesion.

[@veronicajensen7690]

@@Seanonyoutube when I grew up as a Dane it was common for parents to ask if the friend is staying for dinner!, it depends on what circle people are in, the same with what she said that "it's a big thing to be invited for dinner" sure if it's a 50 year birthday but not if it's a common day, not in most homes it's very casual however people like to be prepared before hand

[@Seanonyoutube]

@@veronicajensen7690 spontaneity is healthy…It seems like Danes really lack this quality.

[@MrCherryJuice]

This highlights the reality that culture is more than just flags, food and sartorial sense. It is very much about perspective and attitude. And it can be nuanced to the point of concealment until a pivotal moment arises. Kay notes that much has changed in Denmark and her homeland, the USA. As with the various countries in which I have lived it is probable that little if any change at the societal level has been for the good. The reason? The growing sense of entitlement, itself a plague on any culture. My only experience with Denmark is a day spent in Copenhagen. I loved it and look forward to getting back. Thank you for your enlightening exchange. As a marketer I pulled from it some interesting points.

[@finncarlbomholtsrensen1188]

Not being that competitive we still have managed to be the Home of the largest Toy Company in the world: LEGO. One of the largest Transport Businesses: Maersk. One of the largest Brewery Groups: Carlsberg and several other well known Danish Companies!!! We are building amazing Transport systems like the new Tunnel to Germany, without any German help and the possible profit will be all Danish. And as a German Engineer told a Dane during a Premeeting for the Tunnel: For Germany this will be the Tunnel of a Century! For Denmark, just another Tunnel, Bridge.

[@SlapHappySewing]

Gosh I could swap the word “Denmark” for “Provincial New Zealand” and nearly everything she mentioned would be true

[@madsmller4030]

We don`t need to be accepted by our new neighbours, why should we be of the same opinion, cause we have chosen the same "road".

[@martinhelgren]

Bad customer service is a distinctly Copenhagen thing (maybe Aarhus a little bit). Visit the rest of the country and get a very different and much better experience.

[@claesmansson9070]

Yes, remember the swedish gangmember who got sentenced in Dk for detonating a bomb in København, he began crying when he realized he would have to spend a long time in jail, in opposition to Sweden where gangmembers from muslim countries destabillizes the whole country without punishment.

[@kimgraaemunch]

There is no problem with being better than others if you are a team player because the others in the team feel secure as they know they always have a backing. Those who are less good are often information hiders, they try to hide the little they know as they feel it is their capital. The expert invents new all the time because they know the foundations of their trade. I don’t think Janteloven had as big an influence as earlier, I think it’s the philosophy of Hygge that permeates the society at all levels of our society, from our homes to work culture, to shops, to city milieu.

[@Lightflames85]

I would like to say as a Dane that we do meet in person but its not as common as in other countries. About being social in Denmark their is like a social code we follow so we dont upset each other. You go like like a compliment or comment about the person your interest in. Its important that you state why your their or its considered rude to interrupt someone. Dont go for small talk but do take a interest in people. Your right about it being confusing for guys to date women because of the lack of guidance. My best advice to men is to not care too much what women want because they dont know themselves. Lastly yeah Winther sucks but you get use to it.

[@jandolleruplarsen2796]

forkert-forkert

[@TheThingIs415]

Am I hearing that right that she lived in NY in her early thirties and has been living for over 20 years in Denmark. Meaning she is now over 50 and dating in Copenhagen"?

[@datingbeyondborderscast]

Yes, exactly. She has kids (a kid maybe?) and is dating again

[@KayXanderMellish]

That's correct, I am.There is life - and sex! - beyond age 50.😎

[@Seanonyoutube]

@@KayXanderMellishhaha you emphasized the sex like a true dane 😄

[@KayXanderMellish]

@@Seanonyoutube 😂😂😂

[@mumimor]

Thanks for an interesting interview! I could recognize many things, and I was impressed that Kay has such an accurate understanding of the differences between Denmark and Sweden. Also yes, the energy in the US is amazing, and very different from that in Europe in general. That said, I think some things that are described as "Danish" are perhaps more about one specific Danish social class. A big class, but not all Danes, more like a third of them. And it doesn't have a lot to do with money. You can be a CEO of a global company and still be middle class in your habits and mores. And you can be a relatively poor fisherman and have a strong deep rooted culture that is very different from the one that is most obvious. The thing is that as a foreigner, you will probably never get to meet the other Danes and not at all get insight into their private lives. But that is the same in Italy and France (at least Paris) and probably countries I know less about. To be honest, there are some of the things that you talk about that I know exist, but that I have never encountered in real life. For one, in my circle of friends and parents at the local school it was a common saying that as a parent you could never know if you had zero kids for dinner or six -- because the children were always roaming about in groups and no-one knew in advance where they would end up eating. Sometimes the parents would come/go over too. Mirroring your experience of the Danish dating scene is mine of the situation in the US. I seriously never figured out how it worked! There are so many rules and stages that were impossible to understand as an outsider. I guess that is why this is such a good cross-cultural podcast. A small thing: the stories about the kids in prams outside cafés are nearly 30 years old, and back then it really was a normal thing. At some cafés you would see several prams outside while the mothers spent some time together indoors. Children sleep very well outdoors. There are several reason for why that changed, but I won't say crime was a big factor at all. One factor was that first Copenhagen and then the four other bigger cities changed dramatically after 1996, and after that, the space and atmosphere was not really as accommodating for prams and babies anymore.

[@datingbeyondborderscast]

Thanks for the insightful comment. Very interesting!

[@jenspedersen2491]

Iam a dane i agree i 50% of what she is saying

[@Dovndyr13]

Yes Danes drink a lot... but they are not the leading country in Europe

[@klausmogensen8691]

No, we are not even in top 10 in Europe when it comes to alcohol consumption, and not in top 25 in the world :) But in the 15-17 age group we are indeed near the top

[@ellenstergaardgravesen1011]

Very interesting... Am I the only one who considered starting to count how many times she said that 😂

[@datingbeyondborderscast]

Haha I know. I relistened to it and realized how many times I said it as well

[@KHValby]

Fantastic VLOG! I´m Danish and have followed "Kay" for years. Super Kay fan! Of course not all Danes are the same, but Kay usually hits the mark about us and our culture !Being it good or bad 🙄 ! Kay has been in DK for more than 20 years. She knows us and knows what she´s talking about 👍 ! I may not agree with everything, but I do respect her and - mostly - she is spot on and gets us Danes right ! As I said..., Good or Bad 😲 PS: As a man, I totally loved the comments about "Gender roles"! So F..king true 😁 !

[@datingbeyondborderscast]

So happy that you liked it!

[@konzack]

Bad customer service is primarily a Copenhagen problem. E.g. Jutland is much more service-oriented.

[@uv8b49cd]

Look up "Average number of medals won per capita at the Summer Olympics from 1896 to 2020"... The US is far behind Denmark in that statistics

[@skinke280]

Kæreste means dearest, as in she/he is the dearest to me. You can start letters with Kære (Dear) so and so.

[@Seanonyoutube]

Interesting culture

[@iamhestbech.iamorphan]

Thank you for saying that our Healthcare is paid for by taxes. It drives me up the wall every time I hear someone call it "free Healthcare". A pet peeve of mine for sure. I know what people mean when they say that but, I still hate it 😂

[@peterwium2510]

Actually --- about being introvert ? I Can´t for instance be in an elevator with a stranger and not start a conversation. so... not all of us danes are like that :) Just saying

[@user-vf8rd5ss3z]

She is nice.... Love from Denmark. Love u both....

[@TPKKPT]

Danmark Til Ejderen 🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰

[@olejensen3125]

🥰 you are wrong 🥰

[@madsmller4030]

But one is not going to get close with a Dane, by losing minds to trivial conversations.

[@citizenVader]

Hehe, I must admit the thing about conflict is not true at all. But I am damaged, I come from a fishertown and we fight about everything.

[@live--now]

Taylor swift talented 🤦‍♀🤦‍♀ lol / but competing thats why America excels....

[@michelleg7]

There is more emphasis on individuality and to be proud of one's accomplishments then you would find in Scandinavian countries. Its also that we are encouraged to standout more and to be ok with being different. America does excel in some things like Medicine even though our healthcare system isn't that great but the Technology is pretty advanced. The majority of Social Media companies are in USA. So is tech companies also. Those are just to name a few things. We are also top exports of Oil which I don't find that very wonderful but it is what it is.

[@Fandangodoodles]

What an unenlightened take.

[@stiglarsson8405]

About dating culture, but even more. its a hell to live in scandinavia.. everyone is equal! Oh no its not that bad, but its different frome other countrys on the earth! At first its the climate.. hibernating half the year.. go bezerk in summer, one need to adapt to that! Then to sex and relationship.. its kinda liberal in scandinavia.. its more about skin to skin contact to eventualy make it to a long lasting relationship.. its rather a "growing up" experiance! As a single middle age man I did do some "online dating" its often as bad one can think of.. becuse one seldome match up in anything.. exept that one is single and males/femals! Soo I have to complain, half of the femals are better educated and have higher salary, then I have.. they want to meet a male, thats equal.. have the same life expextations!

[@Gravko12]

Entertaining, but not true. One could argue that everything she says starts as truth; it's the dramatization and interpretation of reality that renders it untrue. If one watches this video without knowing the country, they would end up with a misleading impression. The first half is largely incorrect, while the second half seems more accurate, though not entirely. The aspects that are depicted accurately are exaggerated to the extent that the truth is abandoned, making the video suitable only for entertainment, not as a factual representation. Many of the points that are actually true could be seen as positive attributes if they were presented without the American dramatization and deliberate distortion of facts. However, with the distortion, they are negatively charged. One thing that is most accurately portrayed is the darkness and cold during the winter months, and that service in shops is worse in Denmark than in Sweden. I haven't been to the USA, but I hold a very positive preconceived notion about Americans and their culture. This is because I do not dwell on every negative detail I know or have heard about, but rather focus on what I perceive to be most prevalent. It seems that she adopts the opposite approach in order to produce the kind of sensationalist and dramatic content that is typical of American media. Just saying...

[@mkdanmark]

wow, an hour of clueless ranting.

[@brianbderthomsen8852]

WE dont a lot and smoke grass

[@olekreiberg]

And not as much cocaine, methamp, crack, fentanyl and so on. The USA is more drug ridden than Denmark. And then there is the opiate crises.

[@live--now]

U make them sound like shy emos that dont really have real money dont like lambos and need alcohol to even move xD ... , good ppl, they literally dont bother anyone...

[@claesmansson9070]

Yes wow you can even survive on a Donald job here, think they have to pay 22 $ per hour iin Dk, sorry was that bragging ?

[@oleolesen2672]

There`s no utopias in the real world. Everything has pros and cons.

[@oleolesen2672]

Regarding Copenhagen. It`s a much more international city now. There are days where I hardly hear anyone speaking danish. Especially english, but a lot of different languages for sure. Service is much better too, but the mistake many non-danes do is that we don`t like hierarchy too much, so danes don`t accept a guest or a customer calling them names. You`ll get it right back in your face a lot of the time - if you behave like that.

[@Seanonyoutube]

So people put in crazy effort to make their homes beautiful, only to rarely ever bring anybody into them? Very odd.

[@heidiboddum5669]

Lol, im danish. I try really hard to have a Nice / beautiful Home, a Home for me. Dont really border me what others Think, becaurse its my Home/ my safeplace.

[@Seanonyoutube]

@@heidiboddum5669 not to impress others, but to have a beautiful space to socialize in? Like whyyy tf nott?? You already make it so nice, bring your friends over!! Makes no sense to me lol

[@heidiboddum5669]

@@Seanonyoutube yeah lol, i just Think with work, kids, husband ect. Im not really needing to socialize much more. 😂😂 Im 50, so my kids moved on their own, my husband work in the Capital, so im alone in the House from sunday to thursday, and i love it. 😂😂 just chilling in my space where things are excactly like i want Them to be. 😜😜 Alot of danes are introverts. 😂😂 and the smalltalk you have to do to have people over is just to Boring. 😬😂

[@Seanonyoutube]

@@heidiboddum5669 lmao fair enough. I live in the middle east where people are very outgoing. I’m versatile. I enjoy my time alone, but sometimes my friend are just like “hey i’m coming over” and i’m like “aight cool” and they just pop by, we have some tea, catch up a bit, have a few laughs and then they leave and we continue with the day. Seems healthy to me. 🤷‍♂️

[@heidiboddum5669]

@@Seanonyoutube i would hate if people just came over, without warning. When i was teenager and in my 20 ties, it was fine lol. I was very outgoing, but not now. Most people here would Think you where social awkvard, if you just came over. 😂😂 I lived in Egypt a year when i was younger and has also lived in Caribien, bulgaria and litaurania. And travelled alot, so i know the quirks of the danes 😂😂😂

[@ebbhead20]

Why Elon Musk was pronounced Elon Moosk ill never know though 😅

[@herrkulor3771]

I stick my head out as a swede here. I think it is the danish pronounciation. The danish "U" is much different from english.

[@ebbhead20]

@@herrkulor3771 well Elon Musk is Elon Musk everywhere. Its pronounced as Americans say it. That's where we got it from. The tesla shows. Why shes going Moosk i dont know. But i name people after how they want it to be said. I dont say Van GOG like the rest of Denmark, i say it like the dutch.. But i cant find a wat to spell that but its closer to Van Hoockhh or something. Its nowhere near what 99% of the world says. And what we lewrn in school is about as far from it as possible. But then again Americans cant say Edward Munch. They say it like it's about munching food. Munk in danish 😏

[@olexxr8503]

Omg .. some things she says are ok, others are completely nonsens .. haearing her i want to throw up .. she's been living in dk 20 years and she's clueless ..

[@ebbhead20]

I totally agree with this American lady.. She's so right about most things.. I hate that we have to hit 4 supermarkets to be semi satisfied. I say semi because i cant relaly find a lot of things i like in Denmark. I dont carw for the sodavand. The chips or crisps if youre English like me. The chocolate is a bit meh.. I miss a lot of stuff from England now, but i only found that out when i was a teen going back to see my family. Engkand has Ben Shaws Cream soda. Dandelion and Burdock and a few lemon and lime sodas that beats the stuff here. They also have crisps like Monster Munch. Salt and Vinegar sticks and Butterkist popcorn that comes in at least 7 flavours. Everything tends ro come in 7-8 flavours in England. Denmark has 1 flavor per brand. Only Pringels seem to have flavours. Popcorn in Denmark is not me as they bore me. In England i cant get enough. Denmark wins on the lose sweets though as they mix flavours up like a mad man. So marshmallow on one side and liquorice on the other is amazing. Same with winegums. UK and US winegums are sweets that makes you want to kill yourself. Its like eating a picture of radioactive Russian farmland. And where's mint Areos or Crunchies.? And why can you get the company fir the price of a chocolate bar in Denmark.? I paid 5 danish kroner for 2 Mars bars at the hotel vending machine in London in the 90's. You couldn't even get 1 in Denmark for 5 kroner at that time.. 2 liter soda in 2017 was 1 pound. Thats 2 liter of my fave soda for 1 quid.. And the rinning around to 4 shops is annoying. You need one shop that you go into and it should be better than Føtex. Lidl. Netto. Fakta and Bilka put together. And the size should be at least 4 Føtex combined. And why danes dont mind shopping daily idk.? I used to get on my bike and shops for a week. If i had a car i would shop for the next 4 weeks. It should be a monthly thing not daily. I get food delivered once a week now. And they hardly have anything a want. But thats the whole country.. HP sauce is 35+ flavours not 2 for christ sake.. And ehetes the fish and chips shop. The indian take away and the chinese.? In England every town with over 10.000 people has these shops within 10 minute walk. Here ive yet to see a take away that has those things. And i came in 1973 for christ sake... So no.. A weird idiotic way of providing things here.. I haven't bern able to have a take away at home for almost 10 years now. And they're 5-10 minutes away in a car. But nobody delivers for some reason..

[@floro7687]

Two strange ladies, more or less with strange understanding of society.0

[@metteandersen3564]

Impressive. Having lived in Denmark for 20 years, and still don’t understand danes or their culture. Maybe you should move back to the US… I’m sure they would love to have you

[@datingbeyondborderscast]

We have had many Danes on here confirm what was said so not sure what your comment is based on? And why such negativity?

[@user-xi6nk4xs4s]

@@datingbeyondborderscast Not very nicely put, but he isn't wrong in his statement. Being Dutch and having mostly lived surrounded by Dutch culture, I do see a lot of similarities between the Danish & Dutch culture, and even with many Northern regions in Europe and even to an extent with Canada. I don't think the presented view, and especially the conclusions being made are a good representation. Still, I enjoyed the video.

[@kianadk]

@@datingbeyondborderscast Is disagreeing with what Kay is "telling" about danish mentality and culture beeing negative? Also yes I see some of the comments partly agree and some fully agree, but there are equally an amount of comments who disagree. Me for one ...... I'm a Dane and I do not feel she have the insights into danish culture and mentality when I'm listening to what she tells. Its either misunderstood or exaggerated most of it. But she a good sales woman ....

[@user-vf8rd5ss3z]

Your great...

[@user-vf8rd5ss3z]

❤