Cuphead Gamescom Demo: Dean's Shameful 26 Minutes Of Gameplay

Updated description from GamesBeat PC gaming editor Jeff Grubb: GamesBeat lead writer and reporter Dean Takahashi doesn't really play platformers or sidescrolling action games. He's bad at them. But since he was the only member of our staff in Germany during the time of Gamescom, he agreed to try it out for us. What would happen next would change all of our lives forever because no one knew Dean could be this bad.
When Dean came back from Germany and explained that his Cuphead gameplay was terrible, we weren't going to be the only ones to suffer through seeing it. So we decided to put it online so everyone else could pull their hair out and scream "DAMMIT DEAN!" along with the GamesBeat staff.
We posted this video as an embed in a story titled "Cuphead Gamescom hands-on: My 26 minutes of shame with an old-time cartoon game." At that time, the video was just titled "Cuphead gameplay: It's not easy."
venturebeat.com/2017/08/24/cu...
Unfortunately, the video in isolation on KZbin lacked the full context. It didn't explain that we were posting this as a joke. A shitlord on Twitter also linked to this video and claimed these are the same people doing reviews. People came to the conclusion that this video was somehow part of a review, and the clip and this description did not provide the proper context to correct those assumptions. That is our fault.
None of this excuses the racism, sexism (why is your go-to insult for a bad gamer always a woman?), death threats, calls for suicide, or really even the anger that drove people to demand anything of Dean or us. If this video frustrated you, we get that. That was the point, but it's worth a laugh and not much else.
A group of people want to use this clip -- the only one of the handful he recorded at Gamescom that suggests he lacks competency -- and a Mass Effect review from a decade ago that he had to retract to justify their claims that he should not have his job and needs to be fired. In the process, you have to be intentionally ignorant of the rest of his career. But let's ignore the books he's written about the Xbox and Xbox 360 and the scoops he's had about Blizzard canceling Titan or the reach of the RROD scandal. Let's just focus on Gamescom. In addition to Gamescom, he recorded this Assassin's Creed Origins gameplay that is completely competent. And as of the time of this writing, it hasn't even been bombarded with dislikes: • Assassin's Creed Origi...
If you're just asking him to display competency in games, there it is. There are more videos of him doing the same in a variety of games. So to make this about Dean lacking the skill to competently do his job is simply dishonest.
If you want to hold us accountable for something real, try this: we published the article with the claim that StudioMDHR made Super Meat Boy before making Cuphead. That was careless and inexcusable. We have to do better.
But if you make this about some sort of culture war or gatekeeping, you're buying into a narrative of people who are trying to manipulate you. If you want more on that, I invite you to read Dean's column about this experience: venturebeat.com/2017/09/08/th...
If you read through all of this, thank you. I'm sorry that we failed to provide the context to enable you to enjoy this video in the way that we intended. I'm sorry we missed the factual error. If that's not good enough for you, and you want to swear off ever consuming our content, that is your right. If something makes you mad, don't ever let anyone make you feel like you have to keep it in your life.
If you do come back, well ... I'm going to try to get Dean to play through all of Cuphead in a video series that we should probably call Game Crimes. We'll see if we can make that happen.

[@ammar2316]

Is the player really a human being or is it a self-learning Artificial Neural-Network ?

[@leehaden1]

From the 1930's of course.

[@JeffreyGrubb]

OK. This is a good burn.

[@Kalkbrenner]

Neither. I think someone just threw the controller down a flight of stairs.

[@maamiimii]

MarI/O would solve this in less time than this badly designed one smh

[@phenom8080]

Thought exactly the same. It certainly looks like it. This is embarrassing to watch.

[@Efsaaneh]

We did it We found the 95% of people from mobile ads

[@twiinArmageddons]

This comment just killed me.

[@PedrohzWasNotTaken-zt9ye]

The search is over and our lives are complete

[@cakeisyummy5755]

We... We actually did it.

[@a_dreamer8612]

That... explains everyting

[@chiefchips1161]

nah the mom is still missing

[@Nurg0]

Im going to start reviewing wine. *pours wine into left ear* Wow this wine is shit 1/10

[@ABlackPatriot]

Nurg0 😂😂😂😂

[@dorpth]

You're implying that Dean Takahashi, wine critic, would even figure out how to get the cork out.

[@codybeaulieu6963]

Corks: They Aren't easy. A wine review by Dean Takahashi.

[@uploaded113redone]

you smash it against the counter right

[@daveedzee]

Cody Beaulieu The Dark Souls of Wines.

[@jakthesac5175]

The physical pain of watching him refusing to move on bc the level spawns infinite enemies and he feels the need to kill them all is painful

[@sandywolfr26]

Like he didn’t even read the title of the level. It a RUN and GUN!!!

[@ammoknight2064]

@@sandywolfr26 And whats even worse is that it tells him that every one of the like 50 times that he dies

[@YouKnowImOnMyPeriodYah]

It’s more than painful, it’s infuriating. You should never linger around in a Run N Gun unless you need to time something correctly, that’s a huge recipe for disaster! That’s just asking to get mobbed by 30 enemies

[@vilmavenla]

​@@YouKnowImOnMyPeriodYahAnd the way he just runs into everything....

[@citriosis]

​@@vilmavenlaI mean...maybe that's what he thought the run meant. Run (into everything). Lmfao idk there's not even a good JOKE excuse for it

[@e_du]

6 years have passed and I still cannot believe how he runs into the first enemy EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

[@Pikminenjoyerbunchofnumbers]

Reminds me of running into the first Goomba in mario when I was little

[@hoxyheart5479]

I never noticed that OMFG 😂😂

[@Kfo221]

He thinks it's like Mario so he's trying to jump on the enemy to kill it...

[@hunterprt1274]

No he runs towards ANYTHING to jump over it, I dunno why but he keeps running towards things until his face is touching it, and then jump, like he thinks theres a invisble ladder on it

[@killerklinge52]

​@@hoxyheart5479if you never noticed it, its probably because its not true, at 8:00 he didnt run into the first enemy for example.

[@seangiglio]

This is the person that plays mobile game ads

[@ninjapufferfish2274]

yes.

[@lowqualityadventures9296]

ha ha ha ha ha

[@Roddy425]

Comment of the year

[@Faltye]

“*harder than you think*😱” LMAOOO

[@Overlysarcasticfox]

Holy shit you fucking killed him dude

[@CircleKay]

Jumping: ok Moving: ok Dashing: ok Doing all of these simultaneously: what

[@alexxander94]

It's like explaining your daughter how to drive

[@cjgo2966]

Or like playing the piano

[@inventionscreator8875]

@@cjgo2966 pretty much

[@chiefchips1161]

or jumping on a block to get higher

[@foamyloro5699]

@@cjgo2966 Left hand: fine Right hand: fine Together: confusion

[@Kosmicd12]

seems like he doesn't know he can stand still and shoot. Really fascinating

[@ammagon4519]

Took the word "Run and Gun" too seriously

[@froggod6484]

how does this only have 29 likes? kosmics the best platforming player there is

[@CarlWeezer567]

Wait, there's a right stick?

[@g00gle1sw4tchingme]

@@froggod6484 Because it's only 1 month old.

[@Spark31Gaming]

he read the words run and gun and took it literally

[@cianeatsgrass]

1:31 Truly one of the greatest moments in gaming history

[@ayo3244]

Lmao

[@wowowoaoaoahwiwheueh]

This made me die laughing

[@maximo_ramirez]

Even the song drop fits, lol.

[@TheTopazCactus]

@@maximo_ramirez exactly, the song takes its final bow as he finally manages to complete the hardest tutorial in history

[@Navi42714]

I honestly expected him to jump back down

[@finnshelton7367]

its like seeing a baby walk for the first time, but every 20 seconds the babies legs break

[@supajesus961]

And that you want to help the baby but the parents of that baby are saying its learning

[@narutardkyuubi]

Amusingly, someone actually uploaded their 5 y.o’s first run, blind. A literal child did better at Cuphead than an adult w/ 30+ years in the video game industry!

[@TA1KYON]

I literally laughed the most i have ever laughed

[@calebflores3389]

The breaking is out of the baby's control. A more apt analogy is watching a man forget how to walk.

[@user-jl7cz2pe6d]

Does the baby have multiple legs? Or do they regenerate?

[@twomad]

this some good ass advertising

[@chex5021]

twomad hi twomad ur my fav utoober

[@linkyewest9416]

twomad tf are you doing here meme man

[@tonybamanabonitomatopowers6057]

twomad Nerf Cuphead

[@twomad]

getting cuphead tips xd

[@DeathStarLuke]

It certainly is, and if it didn't involve an actual professional having his reputation badly tarnished, I would highly suspect this is a completely staged promotion.

[@pseudonymousgarbage8]

Are we going to ignore the fact that he decided to talk to the first NPC 3 times in a row without moving on

[@napoleantntgaming5265]

I think for some reason he thought that ur supposed to keep on pressing the skip button to talk to him

[@PathWars]

What part?

[@nuclearbomb9483]

@@PathWars 2:58

[@keygiam]

he was exhausting mac dialogue

[@keygiam]

*npc

[@NintendoNerd64]

you can see dean activating the parry, which implies he was expecting a double jump, absolutely incredible

[@haydomo1069]

He would have to be awkwardly pressing two buttons every jump?? I’m guessing it’s button mashing because that’s what I resort too when I’m confused 😭

[@MadWeegee]

My man foreshadowed Cuphead dlc

[@YouKnowImOnMyPeriodYah]

His soul yearns to be miss Chalice 😢😢

[@qo7052]

@@haydomo1069 parrying and jumping are the same button

[@Melohalo]

I remember Dean Takahashi. This is the guy who gave the first Mass Effect a bad review because he played through a big chunk of it without realizing that you could level up skills.

[@xxsvaxx]

Jay H wait seriously??

[@Melohalo]

s va Absolutely

[@DemonicRemption]

+Jay H I read your comment, and prior to typing this I think my brain "crashed" trying to process that much stupidity... This idiot played Mass Effect without realizing you could level up your skills? That makes no sense to me, and I have yet to play Mass Effect.

[@dani_i8942]

Thinking about that, and seeing this causes my brain to want to kill itself trying to understand why he's still employed in the industry.

[@vlandianbutter9960]

Game journalist as it's finest

[@OzKo]

Dad in mobile game ads:

[@chillway5776]

Underrated comment

[@paulprofor8717]

Bruh

[@shawnthomas2035]

Ahahahhaha

[@woooshbait5398]

Lmfao

[@logup9834]

Fax

[@BrendonBillard]

Legend has it that when you arrive in Hell, you have to watch this guy do a complete play through of this game

[@PaypsAgain]

I'll clean up my act I swear!

[@nostalgiaguy3902]

This is kind of entertaining

[@YouKnowImOnMyPeriodYah]

I’m not sure even the Devil is that damn cruel

[@JackHorner536]

I can only imagine how long Grim Matchstick section would be-

[@jtteope1178]

my guy took 24 MINUTES, to not even finish the first run’n gun… this is the worst punishment you can get in hell

[@WilleeD]

I’ve never been more ashamed to be named Dean

[@HogartHughes]

we like dean

[@iAvocado]

​@@HogartHughes Who's we

[@AngryBiscuit09]

I want to be a game journalist if that's what it requires...i could become the ign's boss

[@Mothbean]

​@@HogartHughes *DEAN.*

[@Vendetta162X]

When you lie on your resume and get the job.

[@vinivitkovsk]

People got mad because this guy has (supposedly) been a videogames journalist for 25 years and we assumed that he was a gamer and that he was at least a little competent at playing video games. Being a gamer (and being decent a playing videogames) should be a requirement for someone whose responsability it's to report on a 20 billion dollars a year industry. This video is so emblematic of why games journalists are bitching about hard games and asking for "easy mode" in games like dark souls, sekiro and cuphead, they are not real gamers and they suck at playing videogames. With shit like this. it's no wonder that there were ethical concers being raised (GamerGate) about these so called "journalists".

[@atranimecs]

Maybe he technically didnt lie, maybe he said he was an experienced gamer....an experienced board gamer.

[@Repudiate]

DS Slayvonn you entirely ignored what he said. Amazing

[@phpteste5019]

@DS Slayvonn his review is worthless how you gonna take the word of someone who cant expreience the game even in it most basics level is the same of taking the word of someone saying a book is good despise the fact he cant read it

[@phpteste5019]

@DS Slayvonn "he does know how to play " no he doesnt i could give a gamepad to my mother who never played game in her entire life and the results would be the same as dean. also "point of games is to learn how to play and become good" for the avarege game yes, but he is a profecional whose opinion are regarded (in theory) higher than the commom gamer, while he dont even has the basics of it down. " Even if you are bad at reading doesn’t mean you can’t have fun reading" in my analogy it does not translate as dean being bad at reading, it translates to him be able to hold a book and turn it pages and calling himself a boos reviewer

[@JAAirborne]

Twitch plays Cuphead.

[@Ikiez_r]

And it would still take less time

[@CJJT02]

Ikiez hahaha XD

[@papyrussemi2848]

Jamie YES.

[@pubcle]

Twitch plays Cuphead would be immeasurably better than this idiot.

[@abloogywoogywoo]

To quote Kung Fu Panda: _"There is now a Level 0."_

[@MINE_OK]

9:00 This man is literally dying in every possible way you can lmao.

[@DiagonalTanooki]

my man just broke out of reality just to die 💀

[@ReverseKadz]

I didn't even know u could die like that 😂😂

[@antismo9998]

Man was so bad even the ground gave up

[@decodedbunny101]

HOW TF

[@john_stromboli]

Except dying from the final boss

[@AGESRings]

genuinely surprised he got passed the parry section of the tutorial faster than the first part

[@matheustghales]

Its because he was constantly mashing the jump button expecting a double jump LMAOOOOOO

[@JoeTAC]

Guys give him a break, he's playing with a USB steering wheel.

[@rhadamanthys649]

@@sleepyhead644 And he's not playing actually, it's his little brother

[@williambotterman4339]

He hasn’t even been born yet.

[@johnleonard9102]

And he has a blindfold on

[@victorassemble352]

And his controller is not plugged

[@_EvilKam]

This comment, god tier.

[@SamTheUndying]

I think we have it all wrong, this is just a blind man trying to play Mario

[@alexliu5806]

This is the same guy who thought Mass Effect was a limited FPS and that SW:KOTOR was a failure of a game.

[@lifelesshawk5725]

Samurai Sans that's rude the blind man can at least learn from his mistake ,but not this broken typewriter (AKA "*GAME JOURNALIST*")

[@aurorasparks1985]

That’s an insult to blind men, blind men can play much better than this.

[@SomeDudeArmyMen]

But, he did it like 30 times to no avail. Definition of insanity

[@mrtuxedo1467]

That’s an insult to broken typewriters.

[@jesusranch34]

What astounded me was his inexplicable movement to the left, over and over again. He keeps killing all his progress by going back and forth respawning enemies that will inevitably kill him.

[@cara-seyun]

Apparently, he didn’t understand that enemies respawn infinitely

[@Probably_Daniel]

This guy's brain: If at first you don't succeed, do the same thing over and over again.

[@rarescevei8268]

Do you know what the definition of insanity is?

[@sugma69420]

​@@rarescevei8268lmao I was thinking of vaas as well

[@zaxbyeth]

It is literally impossible to watch this entire video. This must be what the CIA shows terrorists in the interrogation room to make em squeal.

[@Slade69]

Lmao

[@blokvader8283]

Yeah i watched the whole thing and it was only possible because I zoned out about halfway through.

[@roejogan1375]

@@blokvader8283 I gave up at the 3 minute mark im in quarantine and got nothing to do but im still not watching this shit

[@Sergi_RockNRoll]

They would get all the shit out of me.

[@knux4000]

😂😂😂

[@alextraordinary5294]

What’s ur IQ? Yes

[@wheatleythebrick2276]

Nemon Cubez lmao

[@blankstare5929]

Lol

[@dingding12321]

More like "No"

[@kshayes6935]

George w. Bush

[@dudescrawny5859]

What the hell is IQ

[@ethang0746]

the thing that’s driving me crazy is his lack of being able to just stop. it’s like when a little kid breaks something, then immediately tries to fix it and makes everything worse. the way he’s playing makes it obvious that he’s just in straight panic mode at all times and never actually thinks for longer than one full second

[@forkgodsdescendant2503]

10:10 HE DOES KNOW. HE DOES IT HERE. BUT HE JUST REFUSES. WHY?

[@jumpman0562]

that showed when he didn’t stop to read hold a to jump higher on the tutorial

[@codename_nons1141]

The tutorial isn’t the most embarrassing part. Dean Takahashi is playing on an EASIER VERSION OF THE GAME! He has 4 hearts instead of the normal 3 and has access to the spread shot from the beginning. He is playing this bad on a DEMO EXCLUSIVE EASY MODE.

[@RetroIsWatching]

Next tier bad

[@shadowyzephyr]

When they make the game easier so the reviewers can't complain about it being too hard, but it's still too hard

[@Chimerasbullet]

Remember this next time you check metacritic.

[@pavelskrylnikov9658]

Underrated comment.

[@dorpth]

Or yet another article on "toxic game culture" enslaving women.

[@cagnazzo82]

It's astonishing seeing a game journalist playing a game without being able to read.

[@speedyg2012]

Legendary Saiyajin Dyslexia?

[@user-bp1be1yg2h]

Metacritic is fine because it takes an average of scores. And it's clear if there's an anomaly usually.

[@Null_sys]

Let's all take a moment to congratulate Dean on not dying on the tutorial.

[@couchmaster3773]

FR, it's impressive he didn't starve.

[@myQwil]

Impressive considering I died a little just from watching

[@wumpus976]

Funnily enough it is possible to die in the tutorial with unused weapons.

[@anounimousartist9820]

Yeah, real impressive

[@cotulprital0241]

Let's be honest, if there was a way to die on the tutorial, even if it's the most obvious way possible, he would still die to it over and over again

[@minisouper]

The fact that the tutorial music ended right as he passed the "Dash" part of the tutorial makes this 100x better

[@octaviodebernardi3689]

“Do you think it would be a good idea to make a loop with a clean transition?” “Nah, I don’t think someone will take that long.”

[@BuzzTheCreator]

GODDAMNIT DEAN!!

[@LazarheaD]

I heard Dean is still trying to watch episode 1 of the show till the end.

[@Syldoriel]

💀💀 he cant get past the intro

[@philliboi123]

Bro probably can’t even get past the first 3 seconds

[@randomkid9363]

dude has the hand-eye coordination of a rock

[@MandungerFinzberry]

I'm sure Dwayne Johnson can do better than him

[@randomkid9363]

@@MandungerFinzberry lol

[@celiafrostborn]

Nah atleast Rocky could drag himself to the finish line in spongebob. This mans had the hand eye coordination of a Blind limbless person lacking every sense a human should have. A literal baby beat the tutorial faster then him and even took the time to shoot in the air for fun while he was at it XD.

[@joseignaciolacroix2769]

@@celiafrostborn that first example is oddly specific

[@feral107]

I know. How has this guy still alive? I would imagine someone with this level of intelligence would need a caretaker to even remind him to breath.

[@Rosu2022]

I could feel the looking down at the controller to see the buttons.

[@mareksicinski3726]

and? Is thhere an issue?

[@dot-io4545]

@@mareksicinski3726 are you saying this because you also need to look down at the controller to see the buttons

[@snowroom1]

@@mareksicinski3726 there is a huge issue

[@vericvoidal]

@@mareksicinski3726 are you dean’s alt account or something

[@lusiek9]

@@vericvoidal Nah he's just a polish guy with bad english. Nothing to worry about.

[@Spacebugg]

"Have I ever told you the definition of insanity?"

[@victorchan4415]

Insanity, is hitting the exact same fucking flower over and over and over again......

[@Spacebugg]

@@victorchan4415 .....and expecting something to change

[@Paniksaw211]

That is fucking crazy

[@Spacebugg]

@@Paniksaw211 no, its insane.

[@Seidr-Bane]

This is what the exact opposite of learning from your mistakes looks like

[@kombat4135]

There are literally speedruns shorter than this

[@chelle2469]

I think that's the entire point of a 'speed'run.

[@Pixygon]

JaKastrophi You’re missing the point. What Kombat was getting at is that there are people who can clear every level in the game in less time than the guy in this video took on the tutorial and first level of the game. (And did not even clear the first level, I might add.)

[@thegreatkingofevilganondor1500]

Kombat To be fair, there’s always a speed run faster than what anyone is doing

[@ozanozenir2503]

The Great King of Evil Ganondorf atleast there wont be a speedrun faster than the tutorial and the %20 part of the first level.

[@baltic1940]

I really don't understand this comment like... No shit? Lmao there's speedruns faster than 99% of players playthroughs so I don't get how that's a good comparison at all but you and the 600+ others who liked do you I guess

[@eyeden819]

do they only hire people who have never played a video game now a days

[@eyeden819]

like my grand ma could play games better than this person

[@Doomwolf82002]

This guy probably only plays/reviews mobile games like Candy Crush and the higher ups thought that was good enough.

[@eyeden819]

+ Wolfendoom 3D i though this was called GamesBeat

[@mishawisha2953]

They hire people based on how WOKE they are these days lmao.

[@ghostwiener1262]

The Potato Assassin Oh my god, that's hilarious! Even my whore mother can play this fucking shit! XD

[@ShonowtH]

I found an article by another game journalist titled "if you're still berating Dean Takahashi for his Cuphead gameplay, you don't know how game journalism works." The article basically goes on about how difficult it is to play a game for a few hours, then spend a few more hours writing a breakdown of the experience, but all in one day. A LOT of players call that an unpaid Saturday morning.

[@limyarplane1991]

most of them are whiny rich overpaid white guy's in California anyway's

[@somisimons]

K but more than 2 decades of gaming journalism experience to this? freaking 24 mins on the first level? UNACCEPTABLE!!!!

[@wyssmaster]

I don't expect someone to be able to speedrun a game and then write a 700 page novel about the experience, but I should expect more from a "gaming journalist" than literally running into the same few enemies over and over after playing the game for 15 minutes. Whoever wrote that is coping massively; journalism is time consuming, not difficult. To be frank, I'm fairly certain Dean has some kind of learning disability, because he literally keeps doing the exact same things that get him killed every single time, and never improves.

[@somisimons]

@@wyssmaster Exactly!

[@Plusle843]

Would love to know who wrote this. I have a word or two to say about it. Like wyssmaster said, you do NOT need to be an EXPERT, you need to be COMPETENT. Sure, you are a journalist. You are a GAMING journalist. Please, play MEDIOCRE. Don't go into competitive, or speedruns. You don't need to beat Cuphead speedruns, beat PACIFIST ranks, or HARD difficulty. Please, take some hits, and complete the game.

[@jameseames9289]

I remember the first video game I ever played was Skyrim, and I have a vivid memory of spending 5 minutes trying to cross a bridge during the tutorial and continuously falling off as my younger brother screamed at me to "JUST GO FORWARDS". Upon making it across, I immediately woke a bear and died because I couldn't remember how to draw my weapon. I feel represented by this video, honestly.

[@pretzelbomb6105]

Luckily, you weren’t responsible for reviewing Skyrim based on this experience and thus deciding the first impression for many potential players and possible pay changes for the programmers which made it as the executives which make those budget decisions don’t know or care what the game is like, just what numbers the internet says about it.

[@FitzFingers]

“the first video game I ever played was Skyrim” Realizing that a 7 year old who’s first game was Skyrim could be an adult today... Fuck, I’m getting too old....

[@jameseames9289]

@@FitzFingers I was 15, just had shit hand eye coordination haha. Your point stands tho

[@FitzFingers]

@@jameseames9289 yeah sorry, the 7 year old part wasn’t detected at you. It was just a thought I had. Hearing that someone’s first game could be Skyrim is surreal to someone who’s first game was Donkey Kong Country on the snes.

[@eugenlovin6788]

@@FitzFingers my first video game was CoD 4 When i was 10 I am 18 now

[@comatose1818]

Okay so I counted how many times he died, he died 31 times, and he didn't even reach the _middle_ of the *first* level

[@kvjbreaker7054]

That...words can’t even describe both the horror and the gold of what I am watching. I want to lary (laugh and cry) at the same time.

[@janickchristiansen7108]

Wait, I counted 34 deaths

[@katylepetsos7512]

I can beat a single Run n Gun level but I got 3 soul contracts.

[@smileishousin]

Does he dash 1 time after the tutorial? I couldn't keep watching

[@NuggetOG]

@@katylepetsos7512 are you playing coop? since run n gun levels in coop is brutal

[@captainmagma566]

I can just picture a live pianist in the background playing the music for this game and getting exhausted

[@analyticaltomato]

Childish Gumbino someone should animate it or create a comic about it. In the end the pianist either faints or punches the dude playing this.

[@Dirtbag-Hyena]

I was exausted just listening & watching😓😪

[@user-xg8rl8zs9h]

JUMP OVER THE *FUCKING* PILLAR, DUDE. IT'S NOT THST HARD, JUMP AND DASH.

[@matracox5740]

Didn’t you know he was playing with his balls? I SAW HIM. IT WAS NEXT TO ME.

[@stormeyedselkie]

That's a funny mental image

[@jepjep6740]

"You are in our forest, GET LOST!" Man even the game had enough with him😂

[@NDLL-xe4zg]

Where?

[@NikodAnimations]

​@@NDLL-xe4zg When cuphead died

[@battycrease2005]

Game- ‘press any key to start’ Dean- “where is the any key?”

[@DezDies]

"Press any button to continue." Presses Power button on system, turning it off. "Wowwwww." That's how I feel watching this.

[@feluto7172]

dspmeme.jpg

[@drmagnumwolf]

Then he needs to throw his console away. Wow,this was painful to watch!

[@DeXiner-]

Dezeria press any button *turns off monitor* fuck this game trolled me

[@lddestroier814]

man this game is unfair, I pushed a button, but it stopped working lol, early access

[@FellowHuman137]

Press any button. Spends half an hour looking for the {any key} before giving up and watching tv instead.

[@cosmicspacething3474]

It’s “run and gun” not “flail and fail” ...

[@meowtactic]

underrated comment

[@Nicolas-pf8vp]

Some random guy Hey! The army of Random Guys will never stop!

[@neopolly761]

Jesus man

[@trashmann1081]

Random Guy reporting for duty

[@clovely000]

Some random guy it's run and gun not duck and suck

[@Leg3nd-27]

It’s amazing that he still tries to jump on enemies after trying it for 20 minutes.

[@hitblank2320]

I like how in the start he tries to jump on the enemies like he's playing Mario and trying to stomp on them

[@The_Bread_Lover]

"in the start"? He does it for quite the entire run

[@Zlonk7]

I love how in the start he tries to jump on the enemies like he's playing Mario and trying to stomp on them

[@glatykoffi6672]

And he tries like 5 others times

[@TarynBeeswax]

Clearly Mario is the only thing he thinks he's good at, and I'd bet he's still pathetic at playing even that

[@user-ce1cu5my4j]

Despite it clearly said "Run 'n' GUN!"

[@SpiralPoliFemboy]

@@TarynBeeswax He probably tries to jump on Bowser in the final level of every world.

[@weberman173]

@God Rolf, The Ed position because, as he himself said, and the description fucking says "he dosnt play Platformers, he is terrible at them" he was just the ony person in germany from the tema to record

[@acrophobe]

Is this a newborn horse's first time gaming?

[@mlorde8857]

This is what the industry refers to as a 'Game Journalist'

[@axiom4694]

acrophobe this comment right here had me dying

[@BrickBuster2552]

Is a newborn horse replacing Rich Evans?

[@alexliu5806]

This is the same guy who thought Mass Effect was a limited FPS and that SW:KOTOR was a failure of a game.

[@user-cg2oo5di5o]

acrophobe No,a newborn would be much better

[@cfhowelsss]

I love how the most replayed part of this video is him getting passed the tutorial section

[@cristiannicolas5349]

It has become a tradition to come to this masterpiece every once in a while

[@El_Badai]

Yep, even now

[@b.i.g4366]

I love how the music stops at 1:35, as if it's in complete disbelief that he got over the pillar

[@dimitriskotsifis4047]

No one should listen to it, they'd already finish the tutorial

[@DreamEatinDonuts]

People give this guy shit for the tutorial but they should really give this guy shit for running into the first level's first enemy for over twenty minutes straight like a fucking toddler.

[@tylerposkitt5023]

DreamEatinDonuts AND THE WAY HE FUCKING CROUCHED EVERYTIME HE SHOT I SWEAR TO GOD

[@poissonsumac7922]

Tyler Poskitt He was practicing grovelling so he could hopefully keep his job.

[@hylianhero2521]

Very much agreed

[@apelikespears5813]

That's quite an insult to toddlers...

[@666HeroHero]

Hey, I play this game with my toddler little brother, and I swear he is nowhere as bad as this dude. Sure he could do better, and a lot of the time I have to keep reminding him to keep shooting. But after a couple of tries we still get through the levels. This guy is literally less skilled than a toddler.

[@VoiceLess-HV]

This first two and a half minutes are comedy gold, AND THIS GAME SOUNDTRACK REALLY MAKES THIS MOMENT EVEN BETTER.

[@GamerStickslol]

I love how the death message on forrest follies is just “You are in our forest! Get lost!” xD

[@donalddarko5807]

I get the feeling he's the type that has to constantly be looking down at his controller

[@RadMadLad]

"And then, I press this button... Using my index finger... And then put the joystick in my palm...

[@davidthecommenter]

@@RadMadLad you ruined my mind with just a single sentence

[@aidans4588]

dAvId rObInSoN same

[@waffles6280]

@alvaro.chileno who the absolute god fuck presses buttons on the controller with their index finger.

[@nochungushatersallowed5323]

@@waffles6280 probably the guy playing in this video

[@alptigin5438]

Does anyone else remember that letter from the editor on EGM that Dan Hsu wrote back in 1998/1999 that was like "Dudes, I just turned down the greatest writer who ever lived, got along with literally everyone on staff, is totally a great guy, but just plain sucks at video games."? It was Dean Takahashi he turned down.

[@cristiannicolas5349]

This video is: ✔ Life changing ✔ Informative ✔ Inspiring ✔ Heartwarming ✔ Useful ✔calming ✔Enjoyable ✔ Other

[@PaypsAgain]

✓ lifting my self esteem but lowering my faith in humanity

[@sexhaie]

This legit feels like when you were young and your mom got mad at you for hogging the video game and not letting your little brother or sister play, so she tells you to get off and let him/her play and you're just sitting there watching them fuck everything up you know in your head you can do better. Thanks for awaking that feeling for me, Dean.

[@joinsideke]

Exactly. I just wanna reach down and take the controller from him.

[@nimrodzar1361]

Little brother or sister would still do better than this guy.

[@CapRolling]

You described the feeling so perfectly...now i feel nostalgic and somehow sad..

[@FF18Cloud]

MAGAMan. Z er0 but, he's not the kind of game journalist you're thinking of, he just write about the industry, he doesn't REVIEW games, anymore

[@rikter22]

oh i hated that, omfg

[@8BitBrody]

Has this guy ever played a game? He's played a game before this, right?

[@whoomayjuly4955]

8 Bit Brody Yeah, plenty of games, Candy Crush, Plants vs. Zombies, Clash of Clans...

[@Tomatowormprince]

Whoomay July Pokemon go

[@psychocrysis2]

Hey! Don't drag PvZ into this.

[@ItsaGamer05]

psychocrysis2 Agreed, PvZ ain't no casual game.

[@GrandmaStew]

8 Bit Brody I first suspected it was the person responsible for the Doom 2016 gameplay a while back

[@ammoknight2064]

This guy is one of three things: 1. AI 2. A literal child 3. Academically disabled

[@forzaacmilan36]

He doesn’t play games tbf he only reports inside the game industry. He plays like he still thinks it a Mario 64 game

[@ammoknight2064]

@@forzaacmilan36 nah bro even mario 64 has more in depth controls than cuphead

[@SomeGuilStuff]

Nah even a child plays 100x times better

[@sugma69420]

Lmao😂

[@NDLL-xe4zg]

My kid played this game and beat 100% of the game lol

[@bruhford3954]

Dean is literally the IRL version of the "Why this level is hard" ads

[@sephn1x]

This is literally how most mobile game ads show gameplay.

[@cotulprital0241]

Dean Takahashi is the absolute representation of the dad on mobile game ads

[@butwhyok5715]

I'm watching this full thing to appreciate that those ads are thankfully only 30 seconds long while this is full on 30 minutes

[@bacongaming1353]

*every

[@PaypsAgain]

Imagine For April fool's he gets the world record Speedrun

[@matman000000]

That's the same guy who wrote a very critical review of Mass Effect because he didn't know he could use talent points. Yes, he forgot to use RPG mechanics in an RPG.

[@dipper9259]

The guy probably doesn't even know what an RPG is.

[@Bumbum_Inspector]

You guys are giving him way too much credit. He probably doesn't even know the alphabet to write or read "RPG."

[@krepes8685]

Damani Campbell Rocket Propelled Grenade*

[@achunkyduck9740]

@@krepes8685 Dont bully deans brother he tries so hard

[@Dirtbag-Hyena]

@@krepes8685 Rocket powered gun....LOLOLOL....🤣👏 WAHH THE HELL!?!?😂 Been watching too many 1950's space movies🤣 Rocket Powered Gun Lololol🤣

[@nqrtzy8765]

Dean’s the type of guy to say that the main menu is too hard

[@TheHouseOfTrickShots]

Me: (Skipping through the video to see if he’ll finish level one) Also me: “How is he going to defeat the bosses if he dies from a flower every 2 seconds?”

[@DeAxxaxxin]

Take a shot every time he runs back instead of going forward when he had the chance

[@OlafLesniak]

*dies while dead*

[@half-hazard8903]

Take a shot every time he dies.

[@TheGamefreak346]

Well liver, we had a good run, but I think it's time we went our separate ways...

[@Strawberry_Moosetracks]

Twitch plays alcohol poisoning.

[@phxalex2924]

Blacked out before the 9 minute mark

[@Filbertfriend]

The first minute isn't even about being bad at videogames. Like you aren't even following basic instructions or any sort of logic for a good while. It's absolutely moronic lol.

[@bigbotzone]

An AI would have figured it out faster.

[@FF8Irvine_Fan]

It reminds me of Arin from Gamegrumps.

[@selassieaspen9940]

@@bigbotzone yet a AI is smarter than you?

[@MikhailKalashnikovMiG]

It just looks like he’s never played a platformer or handled a controller/keyboard before. It’s not so much about logic; people who’ve never played video games their whole life would do exactly what he did. That said, I don’t really know how he’s working in the gaming industry though

[@madermc2979]

@@MikhailKalashnikovMiG he doesn't actually play platform games :/

[@chgjake2230]

I wanna watch this guy play more games ngl

[@bloopahVIII]

that description is backpedaling harder than dean jumping backwards to fail at the same jump with instructions for the 30th time

[@swissarmyknight4306]

I can't believe I just watched someone get pwned over and over by flowers that run back and forth. Like the flowers outsmarted him by running in straight lines at a consistent speed.

[@pc5890]

LOL

[@pc5890]

And they slowly jump over things

[@lauraMartinez-hl3zf]

People should use pwned more

[@Samstar369]

@@lauraMartinez-hl3zf Nah there’s a reason why it died out in 2014

[@JH_handle]

Pwned

[@timothymills5410]

*runs past enemy after 10 tries* "oh wait a minute i missed something" *turns around to get hit by the enemy* "much better"

[@daegiovanni5864]

I'm screaming "WHY DO YOU KEEP GOING BACK LEFT!??!?!?!?!?????"

[@pyroz9788]

💀

[@Xtraqk220]

“Bro I’m lagging” “Bro my finger slipped” “Bro he shot me in the head he’s so lucky” Bros skill:

[@Superluigi881]

"I died because you were distracting me!" "But I didn't even say anythi-" "Shut up!"

[@TheMuro22]

He's got the true learning ability of a machine

[@NikodAnimations]

1800s computer*

[@Brelicity]

I regularly come back to revisit this when I need a boost to my self esteem

[@muzinhiphop7591]

Yup

[@roseywolf7867]

Damn-

[@dimensionaliquid8024]

This video is good for that

[@gerardocedillo7735]

they changed the title of the video after everyone started complaining... it was: "Cuphead demo at Gamescom: It isn't easy"

[@Jackle02]

Are you serious? I hope you're joking.

[@gerardocedillo7735]

sadly, I wasn't joking

[@dropthegun234]

is there any way to check this

[@gerardocedillo7735]

here's an article by the reviewer explaining why he struggled so much: venturebeat.com/2017/08/24/cuphead-hands-on-my-26-minutes-of-shame-with-an-old-time-cartoon-game/

[@dropthegun234]

"I didn’t realize for quite a long time that you don’t accomplish anything by jumping on top of an enemy, like in the Mario games. Rather, you lose a life." how can you not notice after the first time? what the fuck

[@shreksophone0749]

How to be a Game Journalist: 1. Be able to breathe 2. Not have any form of intelligence, logic or problem solving skills. 3. Don't know how to read. 4. If something you are trying isn't working, keep trying it and maybe it'll fail again 5. Get mad when people call your brain dead abilities out and play a victim 6. Write a bad review on a good game because you cannot understand simple video game mechanics 7. Get hit by every enemy as possible. 8. If the game says you can level up, disregard it completely for a true game experience

[@PaypsAgain]

And be named dean takadashi

[@andrest6700]

Truly one of the gamers of all time

[@AstronautScoopPoop]

Yeah, one of shittiest gamers of all time.

[@altoidsgalore4127]

Its sooooo fuckin painful watching this guy pass the tutorial.

[@malekomills8367]

IKR

[@fwheels7776]

so painful ... cringe worthy

[@Defeationist]

no fucking common sense

[@nevandempsey9557]

Altoids Galore lol don't think he's ever played a platformer

[@no_alias_for_me]

#JournalistsL2P

[@moriarty2666]

that has nothing to do with being bad at games. this has something to do with having a fully functional brain.

[@Inksanity]

sweetMoriarty I know right? I thought Asians were supposed to be smart

[@Inksanity]

i was joking

[@jacksonsteal7082]

Bri The Mad Mistress Its bait, don't reply.

[@fLzii]

dean takahashi is a game journalist since 18 years. while I'm not hating on the guy or anything like that to say he doesn't have much experience in video gaming is certainly false

[@SmolPotatowo]

+Oli Konttinen I hope you're joking. The man's a fucking "VIDEO GAME JOURNALIST" the man should have experience in video games lmfao.

[@rayquazathenoodledragon9630]

So the guy that got stuck in a tutorial now is saying that NFTs are the future of gaming

[@cyanbaba7795]

....e...e-excuse me the fuck?

[@veloction6130]

Dean is the kind of guy that would press alt f4 if someone tells him to.

[@aliciadunn9280]

I wish I could be this incompetent at work and still keep my job.

[@absolutemadlad6340]

Alicia Dunn amen.

[@theonlycatonice]

Alicia Dunn Fuck yes lol

[@XtreeM_FaiL]

Alicia Dunn Go work for government.

[@TheCrazyhusky]

Can we upload this video to porn hub under tags "Degrading" and "Humiliation".

[@its_a_poncho]

TheCrazyhusky omg xD yes

[@jiro110]

TheCrazyhusky I don't think anybody would wanna fap to this... unless they're Sadists.

[@carmelanapoli1900]

TheCrazyhusky no is so disguisting

[@havox112]

Oh fug :---DDDDDd

[@magicmildred9119]

Yes

[@qtarokujo227]

I'm not exactly sure how to describe it, but watching this feels like trying to run in a dream

[@napoleantntgaming5265]

Whenever u think ur useless, just remember this guy’s reflexes and hand-eye coordination barely exist

[@AyakaruJuuhachi]

You know.. There's a saying.. A donkey never kicks the same rock twice.. Except this one, and twice is an understatement

[@BlartInc]

Matthias idk why I laughed so much to this

[@orangesoda4535]

It's at Serpentholm. Only the wisest turn over the same stone twice.

[@BlartInc]

Salem Andrada why would you turn over the stone twice

[@orangesoda4535]

To find the Serpent's orb. After they'd finished with their filthy business, I hid the orb in the courtyard pool.

[@Duskaria]

Alternate title: "Cuphead played by the one guy who tries to walk left in Super Mario Brothers"

[@lowkey276]

The Spycrab Best. Joke. Ever XD

[@ChupeTTe]

Sweet joke fellow

[@JackHorner536]

Underrated comment

[@kormagogthedestroyer]

Today I lost to the same boss in cuphead 20 times in a row. I’m glad I can say that at least I took less than 3 minutes on the tutorial

[@splashy2152]

he also took less than 3 minutes of the tutorial lol it just felt longer because of how much he suffered on the pillar

[@REDFRLegend]

20 times in a row losing to the same boss? I wish! King Dice will be the reason why my death count in Cuphead is 2k with even reaching the Devil yet after nearly three years!

[@n4utiius162]

"Hm, I havn't died to this enemy or hazard yet."

[@magma1264]

Dean: Ok, so is this game like Mario? if I jump on this enemy he'll die, right? *takes damage* Dean: OK, if I touch this flower I'll be able to shoot fire balls, right? *takes damage* Dean: Ok, if I run into this mushroom I'll grow super big right? *takes damage* Dean: Oooh, I wonder if touching this acorn will give me the squirrel suit! *Dies*

[@PupBruh]

He’s legit just shooting the thing knowing that it’s getting hurt and still runs into it? What?

[@Aliamner]

Its like that butterfuck from Gamespot who reviewed new soup mario wii and called it "old school tough"

[@zukisuika1535]

You forgot the last part: *this game is shit 1/10*

[@llla_german_ewoklll6413]

25 years of experience.

[@googlepoodle5814]

lll•A_German_Ewok•lll I’ve played games, since I was a child, on computers when 8-bit games were mainstream. I’ve never in my life witnessed something so painful when the game at the very beginning tells you exactly what to do. I mean shit, older arcade games had more complicated mechanics than Cuphead. This makes me want to rip out my eyes.

[@kylel8258]

I love how he randomly crouches like it'll help.

[@amandapanda5087]

Kyle Lamse Read this as soon as he did that

[@danielwoods3896]

@@amandapanda5087 he was doing that the whole time

[@edsbegaming507]

Daniel Woods he means the first time

[@orangesoda4535]

Maybe he played spiderbot.

[@janegohtintin]

4:25 Well it did help here

[@ginjaedgy49]

if you told me the player was drunk i still wouldnt believe you

[@sparrow_solas]

If you told me he was DEAD I still wouldnt believe you

[@shadowrealmcitizen1149]

Dean is the type of guy to walk into well cleaned glass 5 times in a row before finding the door to get in.

[@lowkey276]

ShadowRealmCitizen Dean is the type of guy to walk into a well cleaned glass until it breaks.

[@funny_ol_kat]

More like 20

[@Zeriel00]

Nah man this is a whole new level, he just breaks trough the glass and never even realize it was there to begin with

[@Gonzas97]

Nepu-Tech USA and when he finally realize it, he breaks another glass to get out.

[@johnnythed1175]

He finds the door that clearly says push and he pulls.

[@WeekendWarrior1]

**THE DARK SOULS OF VIDEO GAME TUTORIALS**

[@ryank.8020]

Weekend Warrior twitter thief

[@WeekendWarrior1]

Not at all. Gaming """"journalists"""" are such noobs at games that they equate"difficulty" with "Dark Souls" that it's a meme at this point. Remember when a gaming journalist compared Crash Bandicoot to Dark Souls? Shit was hilarious. I'm not gonna be surprised if you ctrl+f this page and dark souls will pop out.

[@ryank.8020]

Weekend Warrior k sorry i just saw it on twitter and this was posted after that post so yeah

[@ryank.8020]

Sorry

[@WeekendWarrior1]

Not even mad broski, no worries.

[@henriknobinder7395]

The amazing thing is that I still to this day have to remind myself that this was an actual adult's attempt at playing a video game when I watch this. It looks no different from a toddler's attempt.

[@Nonesens8557]

4:40 bro thinks this is Mario 💀

[@mrt1880]

Actually true one of the people working with him said that he was confused why enemies didn't die when he jumps on them

[@jonathanlevitz9939]

"😢 Why is this game so hard? 😢" ads in a nutshell.

[@BapoBoompa]

You forgot the broken English and emoji spam

[@dylanmacdonald7444]

Like for example " cannut reaaach ink lev ommgvv😀🤫😍👎💩💩🤨☣😇🤷🏻‍♂️🙉🦏☹🐡🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤮🤕🤕🤢🤧😇😳

[@littlethumbtack15yearsago77]

“I cnt reech pink bike!!!!!! Only 1%%!!! 😢😢😢😭😭😭😣😣🤪😅💯💯💯”

[@JackHorner536]

"I cnt finish pimk lvl as fck omg lol wtf xd 😭😭😭😭😭😭😢😢😥😭😥😭😰😭😭😭😭🤣😅😆😆😅😀😇😅😆😅🤣🤣🤣🤣🐵🐵🐵🐵☺☺🥰🤣🤣😭😭😭😭 fkc omg xdxdxdxdzdddddddd 😱😱😱😱😱😱😢😢😭😭😭😭 lol lol trololo 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😅🤣😂😂😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣😂🤣 lol 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭"

[@davidkonevky7372]

I love how the "can't reach pink color" line that every ad uses would actually make sense here, because there's the parry feature lmao