Asperger's Syndrome: Ways to Cope (Part 2- Escape)

[@jemrosekoontz189]

My son, Ethan, was into everything Tolkien. He read continually. He video gamed. He liked South Park and Simpsons. He was kind, gentle, soft-spoken. Because he was 6' 4" NT's expected he should be into sports. But Ethan felt sports were often too violent and that competition was not a good thing. He had difficulty with catching or hitting a ball. I called him the "cat whisperer" because the most feral would learn to trust him. He never displayed anger. He negotiated to help others resolve their anger. He deeply loved his grandmother and me. I miss those times when we would sit on the couch and share a tub of icecream. As you describe, he could not tolerate light, noise, scratchy fabric, arguing, etc. He sent away to college for one semester and that was a disaster. So he returned home and got his degree in psychology. He was always an honor student. He had associate degrees in biology and chemistry. He was very handsome. When he finally got up his courage to ask a girl out, she always said declined and ended up with a bad guy. He loved so deeply it hurt him so much though he didn't share much of that and just held it internally. He worked in mental health. His last 6 years we worked in the same facility: me as a nurse and him as a correctional officer, mental health counselor. At 33 yo he died by a self inflicted gunshot to the head. That beautiful gentle head. I think we Aspies are very sensitive people. I think we keep things in ourselves way too much. I think it is difficult for us to reach out to each other. Your videos should help others such a lot. I wish Ethan had found them and read them. Eight people in my family are on the Autism Spectrum. SIx of them Asperger Syndrome. Fantasy was very important to Ethan. Also listening to music with his headphones on. He would pace, tap the heel of his foot, etc.I miss him SO much. Please Aspies don't do what he did!!! Get help. You may be at peace by suicide, but those who love you (and there are those who love you whether you are aware of it or not) NEVER recover from the loss of you in their lives.

[@doxistavrou9509]

so sorry for your loss..my Aspie son is so lonely..I try to see him once a week..to keep tabs on him...just in case..

[@Swedmonkei]

Much of what you describe is exactly what I have been doing and still do to some extent. When I was little I would escape into my imaginary world, where I always was the hero; defeating villains that represented things I didn't like in life. I would do this to the extent that I would start running around, flailing with my arms in recess without me being aware of it. Nowadays I tend to, like you said, imagine a kind of perfect world for me, which serves as an escape from my everyday life.

[@Angels14u]

i want you 2 know, YOU ROCK...i am so glad you had the moral courage 2 step up and help other Aspies. i know you may not realize this but not only are you helping other Aspies, but you are helping other family, friends and mates of Aspies. They need to know this information to be the best they can 4people they love. i just happened onto your videos today but i am hoping that you will be specific on things that Aspies are sensitive to and their needs too so we can all learn Aspies better to help.

[@Hendrikam1]

i really like watching these videos of yours. I dont have aspergers but i often escape into my own world and into other worlds within them... much like a lucid day dream. I live a life surrounded by constant emotional expression, extreme highs and lows on a daily basis... your videos talk vulnerably yet calm, its refreshing to listen to and i like that i can relate to what your saying.

[@ChozoSR388]

I'm 27, and I still have my imaginative play sessions. I play multiple parts in them and I often use "props", usually being bedclothes or whatever I happened to have at hand at the time.

[@sbsman4998]

The hero is the path of the warrior and nothing gives a man more comfort than knowing he can kick ass and willing to fight anyone. If you don't feel confident than any person can install fear in you, control you!! As for me I spent decades training then directing my mental strengths into areas of health, training and maintaining a body that is fight ready even into old age and sensual~~~> health, vigor, strength, virility, INDEPENDENCE and ability to defend is a man's definition. Great videos, I think you surely can save our world, lots of you!!!

[@keithlmh]

I relate to much of this. I sort of had imaginary friends in the sense that I saw my stuffed animals as real friends and slept with them throughout highschool. I also made friends with inatimate objects, sometimes rescuing peaces of eraser that were going to be thrown out because I was worried that they might be sentient. I would many times be in my own little world, especially at recess. I remember that when I delivered flyers, I got so bored that I would imagine the reinvention of the ancient roman empire as if it were there. I would also imagine jurassic park happening in real life where dinosaurs would be always out to get me and would break out in school and eat the students. I remember vividly as well that I had this strange fear that if i walked through a different set of poles then my parents or other people with me, then I might end up in another dimension with parents that were not really mine, and how would i know the difference? I used to worry about falling down the drain in the tub. And I also had obsessive compulsive tendencies where i would feel like I would have to touch the ground when running or certain objects, otherwise something bad might happen. I still sometimes have those impulses, but mostly have gained control where I know that I do not have to touch an object.

[@abby11118]

This is very interesting because I had also done much of what you talked about. I thought of day to day accomplishments as completing levels in a video game such as Elder Scrolls. I currently use music as a way to escape, and in the past more so I combined certain songs with thoughts about a place which I called Alpha, which was like utopia.

[@lucpdx]

I am 29, and I still use my imagination to escape. Sometimes I imagine I'm some supernatural being like a vampire (because they can do really awesome things) but, usually I just search for a place I feel content. Typically imagining myself with a man in my life, and not having to deal with anyone else but that person. I also use video games and books as an escape, I like feeling like I'm really in the game or a character in the novel.

[@aerisukepetitt8503]

I myself have Asperger's Syndrome, and sometimes whenever I'm alone, I like to escape into my own little fantasy world, and play with my imaginary friends (who are mostly anime and video game characters) and I feel calm and at peace. It's almost like Heaven, but except I'm not dead. A few of my big interests are anime/manga (animes are Japanese animated cartoons, and mangas are Japanese comic books) like Naruto/Naruto Shippuden, video games like The Legend Of Zelda, music, and writing stories. Math is one of my weaknesses while English and writing are my strengths. Sometimes whenever I listen to music, watch TV, go on KZbin or read a book, I get inspiration to write scenes in my stories which I am very passionate about doing. I am also an audio savant, and can take things literally at times. For example: If you say, "It's raining cats and dogs," I will look up at the sky to see if any cats and dogs are falling. I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when I was a child (I'm 19 now, but I'll be 20 in May), and I've never spoken about this to anyone until now. Sometimes I worry that if I tell people I have Asperger's Syndrome, they'll think I'm weird and won't want to be friends with me. But you know what? I'm proud of who I am, and I thank God every day for giving me a precious gift such as Asperger's Syndrome even though I sometimes have trouble fitting in with other people. If ever any of my family members say "She's in her own little world," (referring to me), I smile and think to myself, "Welcome to my world." I feel as though people with Asperger's Syndrome (like myself) need to be treated with respect and need to be understood. I also think that people with Asperger's Syndrome are just as smart as everyone else.

[@ihavethegcf]

sorry about the disorganisation but the message with the "yup yup" in the beginning is the 1st half and message that begins with "also love to imagine..." is the second half.

[@jesselaine8486]

As far as creating your own "utopia" or ideal "perfect world" inside your mind, I do this as well....this is the first video I've seen on here that accurately describes what I'd say is the coping mechanism that I utilize the most. Anytime I feel any kind of negative emotion or feel overloaded, I escape into my own little fantasy world and am somehow magically able to calm myself down by doing so. It's nice to know there are other aspies out there that have a thought process similar to my own. Great minds think alike, I guess! :-P

[@n.c.6211]

Exactly!! I totally agree with you! Imagination is enhanced! I would always pretend play but I hated doing so with others because they would not follow the script in my head...they would not know how everything worked and stuff like that. I would pretend to help black and white witches understand each other.

[@Genin99]

Alice from Alice in Wonderland could have Aspergers. I read the book and saw both Disney movies and what your describing seems to be right out of Lewis Carrol's book. I did the exact same things you did and I find it fun to pretend you a superhero whether it was Modern heroes like the Power Rangers, the X-men or Batman or past heroes like Robin Hood, Knights of the round table or Hercules. After watching some of the 90's Batman cartoon again I'm starting to think he's a Aspie too.

[@016329]

I felt exactly the same way before I found out I had Aspergers! I thought I was the only person who felt the way I feel. I spent most of my teenage years and up till now (at 23) in varying states of depression.

[@Jake-Day]

I agree that Aspergers are probably more creative. I think whoever said otherwise is confused on the difference between delivery and creation. Perhaps more ideas come but they are harder to deliver. Like explaining a dream to someone. It never sounds as cool when you explain it to someone. Some dreams are almost impossible to explain.

[@misspinkpunkykat]

I was always told I lived in my own "fantasy world" as a kid or that I needed to realize that this was the "real world". Yeah, it was a coping mechanism.

[@seekeroftruthable]

Its social imagination in which we are said to be more limited rather than imagination per se

[@ihavethegcf]

yup yup, in the sense of using an imaginary perception. even to this day i do the same thing, with of course keeping in mind the shift of character, as i have went throught life. like i'd imagine me having sibblings (since i'm the only child) but i'd

[@ihavethegcf]

also love to imagine myself in extremely depressing situations. like for example, resently for about i guess a couple years i had imagined myself the 10th of 20 kids from an isreali family, house sticken with such abuse and lose. and honestly like u, this is the first time i have mentioned this. hopefully this answers your question, haha.

[@spinosauruskin]

Yeah, i get lost in my own world. I prefer games to be the world i get into, and i have always wanted other people to see my worlds and so i have always thought up game concepts, and i kinda like the idea of being a game designer, but i suck at computers. Meh.

[@bass2beat1991]

@CycleofSiIence I Love watching Naruto it's the best Anime show of all time I know just how Naruto and Sasuke Felt. They were all alone I can relate so well to the character's in the show especially to their sadness. And being a social outcast as well to :( It's very hard for me to keep and maintain Friendships with people

[@magneto228]

I can tell that you haven't watched many decent anime with that brain-dead statement. Naruto is mediocre at best, typical of most shonen anime.

[@bass2beat1991]

magneto228 No I've seen other Anime show's Such as : One piece, Zatch Bell, Death Note, Digimon, Blue Dragon, Sailor Moon, poke Mon, Byakugan, so yeah I've seen all of those ones, But Naruto is one one that I can Definitly understand and watch -"Don't judge what you don't Understand" ok please Thanks! :)

[@magneto228]

Shawna sioux Fletcher I hate when people call bad series like Dragon Ball or Naruto the "Best Anime Series of All Time". It just shows they have no taste or little experience. Naruto is enjoyable but it is far from the best, especially after Part 2. Still, I didn't need to be rude about it in my initial reply to you, sorry.

[@IBelieveInSeth]

Excessive daydreaming can be caused by Maladaptive Daydreaming. This is a condition that causes excessive, addictive daydreaming. Look up the website "Are You Daydreaming Your Life Away" to learn more.

[@Buizel88]

that happens to me all the time, but my imaginary friends have always been stuffed animals, with an imaginary boyfriend.

[@emilyyoung9285]

I don’t have Aspergers, but I do this. What else could cause it? I don’t relate to any other symptom of Aspergers.

[@CantWeedThis]

I remember in elementary school when i was younger- I used to sit there while the teacher was wop woppp wopppping about some mumbo jumbo i would sit there and fantasize about monkeys swinging around the classroom and envisioning how the monkey would navigate the classroom; where he could swing to next. Lmao. Basically like playing some frogger with the scene in front of my eyes as the back drop.

[@VagueGirl]

7:18 to 9:12 saddest thing I've ever heard.

[@realbluemeanie]

I did that!

[@jeshika22]

I really don't think that your imagination is a symptom of your Asperger's, no matter who says that it is. It's not like it interfered with your everyday life. I think a lot of people would be able to empathize, including myself, because unfortunately the world right now kind of sucks. Having awkward antisocial or obsessive tendencies is more of an Asperger's symptom than simply being dissatisfied with the everyday dullness of life in the 21st century. I'd question your diagnosis.

[@shadi489]

i love and watch ur videos every day i am speechless to hear that others have the exact problems like me ---unbelievable --i feel i lost my life in the imaginary world when i was 15 i used to stay in bed for days and fantasize about actors and my imaginary dates with them afterward i would feel dizzy --i love u ----what u say is exactly like my life --i thought i am the only one in the whole world with this kind of mentality