D&D Players,What's the funniest Homebrew Magic Item you ever had in a campaign?

[@Crocogator]

Wand of Bees. It just summoned a cube of bees in front of the user, under nobody's control. The command word was: "BEES?"

[@beancandev7818]

Don’t let a kobold get their hands on this

[@juliagoodwin9510]

Not the beeeeeesssss!

[@vortega472]

I can just imagine the surgeon in the bag of holding with the bad attitude: Dammit Aragon, I'm a doctor not a necromancer!

[@liontamer4581]

"Your mozer" (your mother with a french accent) a very rude and insulting, sentient shield that was made accidentally by a wizard abd when the wizard tried to ask for its name it responded "Your Mother". The shield has a french accent and when equipped, the shield made each creature in a 30ft radius target the wielder through the shield taunting the creatures but gave the wielder a +2 to their AC

[@cyborgninjamonkey]

Automatically pulling aggro as a shield build and also getting bonus AC seems like double win, innit? Oh my lord it would be hilarious if it whined regularly about having to speak English but ignored anything said to it in French.

[@anderscarlson4231]

Now make a character based off of Spy from TF2

[@fireblast133]

Imagining that it doesn’t provide extra AC but instead casts vicious mockery on the closest enemy.

[@addison_v_ertisement1678]

Off to visit your mother!

[@liontamer4581]

​@@addison_v_ertisement1678neck cracking sounds

[@nelsonthen884]

"Spell Scroll of Being Instantly Sent to Hell."

[@nerdicusdorkum2923]

That's plane shift. Which is probably one of the very few remaining 'instant death' effects left in 5e.

[@Voldrim359]

​@@nerdicusdorkum2923this is directly headed to the 9 hells, which it could be funny if you use it for some shenanigans

[@robertheinrich2994]

first story: imagine the spiders loving to eat bigger beings? suddenly the party has to fight a giant, that is not happy with getting eaten and finds his inner barbarian.

[@jackmack4181]

Personally I imagine they meet a giant spider who loves orc meat, they pull out an orc and he goes “I have no memory of my past but all I know is that I have an urge to die in combat, point me to the nearest challenge” and the party just points at the giant spider So the orc just runs In

[@granienasniadanie8322]

Imagine you pull out a bunch of hafllings and giive them short bows so they deafeat the spider.

[@marilynlucero9363]

Lmao the animal feeding bag one.

[@kindatim]

Jesus christ, that bag of animal feeding is a sadistic nightmare in the hands of a dm like that. I can't decide whether I love it or hate it with a passion.

[@glennschroeder3828]

Our DM gave a barbarian player a magical adamantine chainmail bikini. It was light armor that gave it's wearer an AC of 18+full Dex modifier, increased their speed by 15 feet, negated critical hits to normal ones, and gave it's wearer the ability to cast Fear proficiency bonus times per day with the DC equal to your armor class. The mental image of him, a large male Goliath Barbarian, flexing in his new bikini as the somantic component to cast Fear on our enemies still cracks me up to this day😂

[@GiveItARest]

I made a weapon in my game called the "Toaster." It's a special dagger that deals 1d6 fire damage and has the ability to toast bread into the user's preferred toasty-ness while slicing it with the Toaster.

[@SáreOfAlaska]

Ring of Eyes. Once per day, you can replace any word in a spell (or feat) with the word "eyes, eyeball, eyeballs, etc) as linguistically appropriate. It's up to the DM exactly HOW that works out.

[@Draedon126]

Tungsten balls

[@ShadowDude6488]

The Toilet Brush of Fear and Agony It allows anyone to be proficient with it, and can either melee attack to deal 2d12 bludgeoning damage + 1d8 acid damage, or do a fling attack to deal 2d8 acid damage in a 15 foot cone. Drawing this weapon causes any hostiles to make a DC 17 Wisdom save or drop any possessions and flee. The curse was it couldn't be removed from your inventory and couldn't be upgraded at certain shops. Though if you ask what's so scary about it, grab a wet, dirty toilet brush and run at someone with it, and 99% of the time they'll run for dear life.

[@imarro9274]

I'm concerned about how you appear to be speaking from experience on that last part. 😂

[@ShadowDude6488]

@@imarro9274 It was a public bathroom, the guy was threatening to break in, it's all I had to defend myself with.

[@arthurbarros5189]

It was used to clean the bathroom of some crazed potion maker?

[@crona3316]

It's not even a bad item actually- just really silly lol

[@mshamblam]

The bag of animal feeding also could lead to the spiders turning on the party to control the bag of limitless halfling meals

[@redoctober0123]

I gave them the Socks of Spider-Climb. I described to them in great detail a pair of irl beige hospital grippy socks.

[@Nerdipaints]

Wild magic staff. I have poisoned (and downed) our cleric, healed our enemies, and turned a stranger blue

[@tehsquirreldude]

The Neverlost Throwing Axe! Functions as a normal throwing axe, except for the curse placed on it. When thrown, as soon as it lands, the thrower is pulled bodily towards it and, on arrival, takes a number of d4 (instead of d6) of falling damage equivalent to the distance traveled. The party Barbarian bought if off of a goblin who sells quirky, jokey, and often useless magical items. He has knocked himself out with it twice and uses it to move across battlefields and terrain without any sense of self preservation. It has reduced the entire table to tears of laughter more than once, especially when he tried to save the party sorcerer by grabbing him and then throwing the axe, knocking them BOTH out upon stopping.

[@emberthecatgirl8796]

Picture a character being devoured by a dragon, just yeeting that axe as far as they can. The dragon becomes an ICBM.

[@thedarkdestroyer1121]

Seeing as you usually mention our own stories at the end of the video. Pathfinder 2e,Gave my players a bag of holding which acted as a sort of pocket dimension. Eventually they explored far enough to the edges where it decended into a void of sorts where I had out various fish inspired leviathans to try and keep them to the bounds of what I had created. Turns out that can derail a campaign pretty quickly as my planned story quickly turned into an episode of river monsters.

[@Wraith41186]

Umbrella of Murder Hornets. Gave it to the party barbarian.

[@crazychill9067]

The clothes of classing. By donning the pieces you'd force people to see you as another class. Boots of rogues, hat of the sorcerer, cuirass of the fighter, bards leggings, arm guard of the paladin If wearing more than one piece they'd assume you're just well versed however if wearing more than three they'd take psychic damage if they focused on you too hard. There was also a tome of wizardry, and the artificers goggles added later. And to explain say for instance if a barbarian were to hold the wizards tome anyone who saw him would assume every action he did was something that a wizard could even if it makes no sense, or say he a wizard gets the fighters cuirass well he isn't casting magic he's just really good at throwing things faster than you can see or something

[@CrazyHawkeComics]

Not me, but a friend of mine who played in a different D&D group found a magic "hyper" espresso machine that will pour a random liquid determined by a homebrew table of liquids that it can pour. There's a 1 in 100 chance that it actually pours regular coffee and an even smaller chance it pours the fabled "hyper espresso", but that's an entirely different story all together ☕

[@AlexGFrank]

I feel like there's some wild IRL lore behind this one

[@CrazyHawkeComics]

@@AlexGFrank If there is, my friend hasn't told me yet. I'll ask him more about it next session

[@AmbitiousCanine]

"you put in an espresso pod and see a foul, creamy liquid pour out. You now have a piping hot cup of mayonnaise" This is a curse and a blessing

[@Herisheft]

Pissed of DM gave us a cursed pouch of holding that talked. We hated that thing. It was choosing the worst moments to talk or even worse to sing. It was also a bit of a troll, and once when we were trying to walk around huge orc camp at night it whispered to us " I need to sing". We went " You do not dare you * beep*" -"But I have to.". So we shuffled back through the dark forest for it to whisper sing " la-la-la... la-la-la. There". Other time we needed a ram to break down the door, it gave us one... all rotten and it broke before we even managed to lift it up. I do not remember how we got rid of it, but it was the happiest moment of the campaign.

[@CrabinATopHat]

The Honk-stick of Bonk. 10 charges, one charge summons a random bird that attacks. Activates by hitting a target, causing the bird to attack that target once summoned. The bird was decided by a die roll, and remarkably I managed to get a goose almost every single time.

[@GaziShepardFilmsThings]

In one game, we found a big white and red striped lance. If you hit someone with it they'd take a small amount of damage but heal a larger number of hit points. It was called the Ambu-lance

[@AJVulpes]

An item I lovingly call the Maso-stick. It was a quarter staff with a skull on it. The player made it by taking a branch from a tree at a house of a cultist, whose cursed ritual dagger they took and used it to carve the staff from the branch. They then took one of the skulls from a skeleton fight from earlier and jammed it onto the end of the staff. Normally not a way to make a magical item, but they wanted a different weapon they could use, so I let them have the quarter staff, but with a twist. The quarter staff did negative damage instead of bludgeoning. The player was a pathfinder dhamphire rouge and had no way of healing themselves with the current party, so being able to bash themselves with the quarterstaff would heal them. It would additionally do more healing if they had a stronger character hit them with it or had someone other than themselves use sneak attack with it.

[@Tinkuwu]

In a campaign I was in, we had a "bag of holding" which was just an iguana. Essentially if you exceeded your weight limit, you threw extra items into the iguana by shoving the items into its mouth. The problem was, the little pocket dimension was just the stomach. So when players started reaching around for a magic item they stored, and suddenly it was gone, players were pissed. "Your pet ate my extra amulet! I'm gonna kill it!"

[@jrp7808]

I once made my party a "rock of gravity detection"

[@vibechecker3168]

Wilberforces wand of frictionlessness: Our dm is a troll, so in one of our less serious mini campaigns he introduced a wand that essentially shot out a beam that made objects or areas loose their friction. Now I know some of you are already imaging the peasant railgun type shenanigans we could get up to with this device, so he added a hidden snag. Not only was it not the original, it was faulty. So on a bad enough roll or with enough use, it way misfire, doing something unexpected or worse effecting itself, slipping out of our wizards hands and firing off spells randomly. Many a time a rather conventional fight turned into a knife fight at a slip and slide very quickly.

[@nobodyshome6792]

I would only use it to move buildings...

[@Voldrim359]

Dm: the wand misfires and now lost friction, you are unable to hold a grip since it slipped trought your hands Player: damn it... Ok... I tried to hold the wand DM: make a dex saving throw Player: why? DM: because when you tried to hold into the wand, this slipped through your hand and shot into your body, now make a dex save or take 1d6 piercing damage

[@sparkselm173]

I have, unfortunately, not encountered many funny homebrew items in my time playing, but the one to come to mind is Kobu's Boots of Striding. They're a snazzy looking pair of boots that increase movement speed by 15ft and grant a bonus action dash, which I have been making very good use of since acquiring the boots. I have yet to use the best feature of the boots, which gives me advantage on charisma checks against "snobby" individuals (the description does specify "snobby").

[@edg0126]

A dagger of Truth anyone you stabbed with it is heavily compelled to tell the truth, whoever holds it is unable to say any lies and gets a + 5 to detect any untruth

[@Voldrim359]

What if the user was mute or enters a zone of silence?

[@kindatim]

​@@Voldrim359I mean, "tell" doesn't necessarily mean "pronounce verbally". It could be sign language, writing or something to that effect. The magic compels them to *not convey false information* in any way (I'm assuming). Although, making a loophole like that is, admittedly, an interesting plot device.

[@Voldrim359]

@@kindatim i mean, it's already a loophole by itself, because the victim of the spell can't lie, but that doesn't mean he will be compelled to answer any question

[@kindatim]

@@Voldrim359 not entirely true. The main problem with torture in terms of effectiveness is that you cannot guarantee the victim telling you the truth, but you absolutely have ways of forcing them to tell something. And if they are willing to endure torture and potential death to not tell you anything, then you have other problems to deal with.

[@Voldrim359]

​@@kindatim It is possible that those situations can be presented as a matter of fact wich is a problem that is solved in a world of magic... Those are with charming or mind reading, even if you manage to enter his dreams are also an option. If that guy can't resist the zone of truth, he could be suceptible to charms. But let's stay in the main topic, the dagger of truth, you are in combat and need information of the BBEG and you are engaging one of his lackeys, you stabbed him, but he would know inmediatly that he is affected by the spell of zone of truth if we take the rules as written. He could try to mute himself so he won't speak, most that you could get of that could be an answer of yes or no trough nods if you are lucky enough. (Also, i forgot that some npcs can resist zone of truth, so there is that too)

[@brokeninkwell3818]

I was playing a bard in a campaign taking place in hell. At some point, we found a pick for a musical instrument made out of bone. When used to play an instrument, it would summon a small imp to dance to the music. We later agreed that it would increase my performance check by my bardic inspiration die. It pared really well with the electric guitar I got later.

[@cosmickidgaming8707]

@4:40 skeleton player: “damn look at all that calcium!” 😂

[@trueblade39]

A joke item I plan to have show up in my next campaign since it's become such a hit in my current one is called "the Wand of Unintended Consequences". Basically, when you use the wand you can use its innate charges to cast a spell from a list of predetermined spells. Using more charges allows you to upcast, target more creatures, empower the spell or do other cool things to enhance the spell. But the more charges you use, the more chaotic the effect that comes after. The wand has its own D100 table that's on par with the Wild Surge Table in terms of wild and wacky things it can do, including turn everyone within 30 feet of the caster into barnyard animals, force them to talk backwards for ten minutes, grow or shrink one size category, or just cause a spectacular self-explosion that does massive damage. Naturally the group's barbarian picked up the wand proclaiming he wasn't afraid of it. Since then he's set three people on fire, froze one person in a solid block of ice, turned two cultists into cows, summoned a modron that the party will not let return to Mechanicus, and charmed a woman into thinking he was her soulmate for 1 hour before the enchantment wore off and she revealed herself as a cult spy and assassin. It is a thing of chaos and I intend to turn it into a running joke for every campaign from now until forever

[@ACrowIG]

I actually made my own version of this called Hocus Pocus, but as a spell.

[@nerdicusdorkum2923]

I once homebrewed a singular piece of ammunition. In particular, a +3 shotgun shell that casted the shout spell at the same time it would of been shot.. However... I seemed to be cursed with players who never follow up on identifying magic items that they can't. Thus, it just sat in someone's inventory being passed around like a lucky charm. Because no one had the guts to ever fire such a thing that was vaguely described as "a very dangerous looking shotgun shell glowing red with evocation magic (detect magic cantrip), with the word 'BOOOM!!!' written on it.' It would of even outright shouted 'KABOOOM!!!' in the voice of a crazy old man, aka the assumed creator of this random shell they found near some ruins.

[@prowler6435]

A bunch of my funny ones: Squeaky Clown Shoes - Used by clowns to improve their performances. Gives advantage on Sleight of Hand and Performance checks. However, they squeak every time you walk, and give you disadvantage on Stealth checks. Ring of risky misty step - You can cast misty step (or maybe far step) with this ring. When doing so, roll a d20. On a 1, you teleport, but nothing you are wearing or carrying teleports with you. Wand of pies - This wand throws a pie at the target. On a hit, the target is blinded and it takes an action to wipe off (perhaps require a crit or a +5 to AC to hit them in the face to blind them), and causes a concentration check for spells. The wand has 10 charges that recharge each day. A normal pie is worth 1 charge. For 2 charges, you can add an additional effect. A hot pie deals 1d10 fire damage. An acidic pie deals 1d10 acid damage. On a miss, the pie hits the ground close to the target, and causes a slippery area like the grease spell. Inksulting quill - A magical quill that insults the user every time it is used. Soot wand - A wand that deals fire type spells (you choose which depending on how strong you want it to be). There is a 10% chance that in addition to casting the spell, the user is also dealt 1d10 fire damage, and is covered head to toe in soot. Sword of danger detection. The sword can detect traps or an enemy (a creature of opposite alignment to the user, or are hostile to them) within 50 ft. Upon detecting it, the sword screams loudly. Boots of uncontrollable speed. Your speed is doubled. However, you can only move in a straight line, and if you move on your turn, you must move the entire distance.

[@Voldrim359]

The sword of danger... I remember a little short comic where someone wanted to refund the sword lf danger, it was supposed to bright light on any dangerous situation, but the user was killed by the bite of the snake. The thing is... The snake represent no danger for a sword

[@ElementalAngelKashi]

quick background, homebrew game, party decided to takeover an orphanage and help raise them on their off time, this included training them. So now for the item, Doll of Orphan Summoning. it is a wooden doll that looks like an orphan you care for. upon summoning the orphan, they come to the field equipped with basic leather gear and their weapon of choice. It was originally made to drag some of the more scared ones to gain some real experience in the field however the party soon started to use it to bring their orphans to the field to finish off monsters so that the kids could gain more EXP than they should have been able to. imagine a party doing everything to weaken a powerful beast and trying not to kill it then once it is restrained a bunch of children are summoned out of nowhere to deliver the finishing blows. Party used it for other things too like to utilize the children's skills for very specific events or to ruin dates some of the older kids were on.

[@stealth_meister4939]

The skeleton mirror part immediately made me think of the gigachad skeleton meme. 🤣

[@Groundlord]

I was using a random encounter table I found online and ended up rolling a quest to help an old lady find her missing chickens... with the twist that these chickens were *massive.* Like, a few feet taller than an ostrich. So I decided that the lady was actually a witch, and that her chickens had gotten this big because of magic treats that she'd made for them; the treats worked like a casting of the _animal growth_ spell on whatever animal ate them. She ended up giving a bag of those treats to the party's cleric since he had a pet wolf. The wolf quickly fell in love with the treats and kept trying to steal them. And yes, the treats worked on the wolf. Funny story, the wolf was actually an undead creature given to the cleric by their patron god... and things got a little out of hand when Spike managed to steal the bag and eat like 20 of the treats in one sitting right as the party was about to fight a mob boss in the middle of a city...

[@jonathanmarks3112]

Did Spike solo the mob boss or destroy the city first?

[@Groundlord]

@@jonathanmarks3112 No, the party ended up defeating the mob boss. Spike was ripping the souls out of the mob boss' goons.

[@Blazieth]

I don't remember the *actual* name, but it was a Scarf of Rage. It was in 3.5, we had polymorphed some sort of water demon into a Sheep. It failed an associated save, and its mental stats turned into those of a normal sheep. However, it was still angry, and tried to bite one of the party. Someone tried to read the Demon Sheep's thoughts, and it was just neverending screams of rage. We ended up killing the Sheep, and someone in the party wanted to make a Scarf out of its wool. It ended up being a magic item, however this was well over a decade ago, so I don't remember the exact effects; it provided some sort of benefit to casting for whoever would be wearing it, but it came at a disadvantage. If it were 5th edition I'd say it was Disadvantage to Concentration, but this was 3.5, so I don't remember what it was. But the REASON for the downside... the wearer would constantly hear the demon's screams of rage in their head so long as they wore the scarf.

[@BlackWolfessUSCM]

My ranger has a pet. No its not a beast or monster. Its a rock a smooth rock he found near a stream that happens to be sentient. When he walks the pet rock skips along like it was being skipped on water and ocassinally will say if its hungry or lonely and wants a hug.. We were high as a kite that nite

[@KalijahAnderson]

That last one nearly killed me with laughter.

[@jesternario]

Funniest homebrew magic item I ever made was also a trap. A simple boat with a metal box on the end. The box was affixed in such a way as the bottom of the box was attached to the back of the boat. It had a big red button on the side facing upwards. When the players got in the boat and press the button (and they always get in the boat first), a jet of flame comes out of the box, moving the boat through the air at several hundreds of miles an hour. Some folks made the mistake of thinking that pressing the button again would shut it off. All it does is make the flame start anew, intensifying the movement.

[@kevinthomas4064]

Can of Ravnica Corn created by the Patron known as Steven He's dad

[@juliagoodwin9510]

That feeding bag one was... _jeez_ ... Though it did inspire a character in a way...

[@SomeRandomKydd]

Not really funny, but I’ve made the Whelming Bottle that literally bottles up the carriers emotion. It halves psychic damage, the liquid emotion can be drunk to induce Rage even in non-barbarians, and sticking a clothe into the bottle lighting it one fire throwing it makes the Emotov Cocktsil that deals 1s4 time 100 psychic damage (this destroys the bottle). The liquid emotion can also be mixed with other liquids to make people lose control do their emotions. Great for ruining the secret BBEG’s deceptions as a well mannered dinner guest.

[@tylerosborn7596]

The Sterling Silver Ring: barbarian told me on the side he wanted to tank more damage for our squishy characters. He got a silver ring. It had an inscription he couldn’t quite read. All of a sudden ANY hostile projectile targeted specifically, and only, his face. After a while he asked why he was being exclusively targeted. Finally the inscribed words became clear: “Scott Sterling”

[@hissignaturestudios6869]

THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND!!!🤣

[@geneericname7138]

Never imagined I'd see a Studio C reference in D&D. Well done.

[@BakudaSon]

I have a few, though one that cones to mind was a rubber duck that, when squeaked, ended all spells under concentration.

[@wesleywheeler7891]

Not in a campaign i was in, but it was a Bag of Holding (Used). It functions like a regular bag of holding, but everything you pull out of it is now inexplicably now covered in glitter.

[@BoulderWest10]

Krampus’s nuts of fire resistance. Exactly what it says on the tin. Our DM has a habit of giving us items to use in his campaigns if we play at his holiday one shots. At a Christmas themed one shot, we were playing as rock gnomes (in place of elves) and I played as an armorer artificer. Krampus was the BBEG who kidnapped Santa and was planning on killing him. We had got him down to bloodied when Krampus tossed me off a 15 foot cliff, thinking I couldn’t get back up it. I used Aganozzer’s scorcher to run back up the cliff and jump over him, using the momentum to swing my hammer into his wrinkle purse, causing him to spit out his balls a la ‘Hot Shots II’. When I carry those testicles I have fire resistance, but if I eat them, the character gains fire immunity, but also the shame of having eaten someone’s Rocky Mountain oysters.

[@camwyn256]

A character in a campaign I was DMing was a half-giant and classed as a large creature. After the party conquered a castle, he took one of the batista bolts from the castle's balista. He would throw it at groups of enemies, then pick it up later. Eventually, he decided to get the batista bolt enchanted with returning. I allowed this. Great fun in open areas against small groups. More of a liability inside, most of the time, cause I can't let it be too OP

[@vincentstuart9562]

The Traveler's Rod of Wonders, a homebrew item to my campaign setting that was a mace that could be used as a Spell Casting Focus........but whenever it was used to cast a spell I (the DM) got to roll a generator of 10,000 Wild Magic effects. Despite the wild things that kept happening, the party kept using it (except the Druid because the latent magic of the item caused Druids to feel extremely unnerved).

[@samzilla1281]

I homebrewed an item for 5E that was in Dragon Magazine for 2E AD&D. Dwarf Thrower. It does the same damage of a Dwarven Thrower, but it throws the dwarf at the target.

[@Quadraxis]

One of my own creation; The False Nose. A wooden carving of a goblin's nose that, when put over your own, sticks in place and you cast Disguise Self on yourself. Unlimited uses and you can take it off to remove the illusion. However, each time you do, you roll a d20. On a 1, you immediately become polymorphed into a goblin until you can find a way to remove the curse. My Artificer loved to use the nose to fool people and make fun of them and it genuinely took about 10 sessions before the 1 finally clocked in. Thing is, he played a Warforged, so when the 1 was finally rolled, in his place was a tiny naked goblin wearing a bowler hat and a trench coat. The nose was never used again.

[@tylermurray2191]

13:10 Fuck yeah I love when people talk about oxventure. They're the reason I got into dnd.

[@filteredtea3010]

Unrelated, but I’ve been able to finally be able to play D&D for the first time and I’ve been having a great time with it.

[@arcanineryu]

The Flatwyrm Cloak. A living magical armor resembling if a bearskin rug were a Red Dragon. (So literally a small flat dragon that floats around like a magic carpet) Made by a wizard who was attempting to create a magic creature for farming dragonskin/scales, it instead became a nasty parasite that can attatch to medium sized humanoid victims like living armor and drain their life force. Its actually pretty threatening, but mostly it just looks really silly having this thing floating at you menacingly while looking like a dragon that got run over by a steamroller.

[@BardForHire]

I had one called the mustache of compliments where if anyone was to wear it anyone they meet eyes with must make a charisma saving throw DC 17 or compliment them on how nice their mustache was. They become immune to the effects for 24 hours if they save. Even in the depths of despair or in the middle of tense important confrontations. There is always a chance that NPC’s have to stop in the middle of it to compliment a party members mustache it was hilarious.

[@victoriousf.i.g.3311]

The statuette of Leeroy Jenkins. +4 to STR and CON but you had to engage the nearest enemy, could only use attack actions, attacks were randomly selected with dice rolls, and after the engagement you fell to 0 HP if you weren't already incapacitated and had one chicken added to your inventory.

[@alannas1836]

TMM Toodles. What is TMM Toodles you may ask? Well it is an Artificer's mirror that houses one of the last magical souls in the world (In my campaign the gods were all slain by the self proclaimed "God of Genocide" who is actually a taking buttercup, don't ask.). The artificer's was Mikey and he ran a cult of Artificers that attempted to overthrow the God of Genocide 600 years before the time of the story, they failed (obviously) and the mirror ended up in my campaign's version of Las Vegas (called Hotland), it was given to the party by the Head Technician as a gift for playing in a gameshow. This item can be used to give the players an item for an upcomeing puzzle (although it is not specified what puzzle) and can only be used again once the puzzle has been completed. Ok, now here's the kicker. There are words of incantation you have to use to make TMM Toodles work. To make it work, all the players in the campaign have to say "Oh Toodles!" three times in a row. . . . I think you know what I gave them now. :3

[@penguinmaster7]

The Buttersock. It gave you a +15 to hit, did 2d12 bludgeoning damage, and did an additional 3d8 in "butter damage". The entity struck would then be stunned from embarrassment for 3 turns, during which they would have disadvantage on saving throws, and all attacks against it had advantage and dealt an additional 1d6. Overpowered? maybe, but that's why it was only able to be used by a single character: Colonel Puckett.

[@unheardhydra6112]

I finally got one! I had a homebrew campaign with some of my buddies in high school. I played a Dragonborn rogue and was the only frontline in the party so the Dm gave my character a homebrew war axe (I cant remember the name) That whenever my character killed anything he gained the damage that killed the target as max health, normally around six hit points except one instance where I gained twenty and automatically harvested the head of the killed target and kept it within a pocket dimension bound to the axe. That was the campaign I learned of another of my buddies uncanny ability to pull off shenanigans to spite the Dm.

[@lateflipp54]

The gym rats gavel, a magic Warhammer who on crit casted vicious mockery using the pcs strength stat, Either on the weilder on a (nat 1) or the enemy (nat 20)

[@danielhale1]

I'm very fond of giving my players the Magical Healing Shiv. After you hit a creature with it and have rolled and dealt damage, it rolls those same dice for healing. Used as a weapon, you might kill the goblin outright (its damage die was 2d6 in that campaign), or heal it to higher than before your attack. As a healing item, the players thought long and hard a few times about giving it a try, but always opted out. Just too unnerving to heal your buddy by stabbing and possibly killing them. But its best use is in attacking undead, who do not appreciate magical healing. Second favorite are the self-soiling pants. As a bonus action, the pants pee themselves (magically it's your pee) and then grant you a disengagement move away from danger. Any effort to subvert its effect to get better position falls prey to the GM, who decides where you go (always as far away from danger as possible). It only has a single charge, but you restore that charge by cleaning the pants during a short or long rest. Incredible emergency response to get out of a lethal situation, but still awful to use. I'd have added a morale and charisma penalty after using the pants, but it wasn't needed: the players always saved the pants as a last resort, deciding their characters hated them (even though the players themselves thought it was hilarious). The story is a resentful wizard got drunk and created a cursed enchantment for his boss. Instead of being angry, the boss decided to mass-produce and market the invention. The employee was unhappy, consumers were unhappy, the boss was eventually unhappy with the poor sales. Everyone lost, and so there's these awful enchanted pants you can find scattered about, abandoned in dungeons, on sale at shops, etc.

[@nobodyshome6792]

Newspaper of 1000 paper-cuts. It was introduced to me by a friend in one of his campaigns, and it was just too good not to duplicate. Non-martial melee weapon. Does exactly 1 point of damage (ignores strength bonuses). DC 24 Wis save or the target becomes "insufferably itchy" from 1,000 papercuts.

[@LoneWolf-rc4go]

Dagger of usefulness. This finely crafted sentient dagger's only desire in life is to be as useful as possible. To this extent whenever you go to draw a weapon (or get anything out your belt pouch) you will draw the dagger instead. The weapon also has the ability to instantly teleport back to your belt if you were to throw it away or 'lose' it. If you do manage to communicate with the weapon is has the intelligence and demeanour of a very dumb and very enthusiastic puppy. I believe it was invented as a punishment for a particularly covetous Rogue who was always after shiny magic weapons. He couldn't resist stealing the blade and was stuck with it for the rest of the campaign. The PC actually ended up getting quite attached to it and got a couple of very cool uses out of it's ability to teleport back to him whenever he went to draw a weapon.

[@LarryJ2022]

"Bag of tolding" it's basically stones of sending you just yell into the bag.

[@Nathan_Talisien]

We had a good one a few years back... I still have the item card, lol. □-----□-----□ The Wand of Curses • Uncommon magic item • requires attunement This wand is perhaps 15 inches long and is made of bone that has weathered and aged to a dull brown; it has inlayed silver runes spiraling along the length of it. The wand holds up to 7 charges, and regains 1d4 charges each sunset. As an action, you may expend 1 charge to force a creature you can see within 30 feet to make a DC 15 saving throw using the ability score of your choice. On a successful save, the target is immune to the effect of the wand for 24 hours; on a failed save, the target has disadvantage on all saves made with the chosen ability score for 1 minute. □-----□-----□ Useful, but not crazy, right? Well, what is NOT on the card is that the wand is cursed. • The user makes all Deception and Persuasion checks at disadvantage, but believes they are actually rolling with advantage • When making a Deception or Persuasion check, the wielder subtracts 1 from the roll for each charge the wand has • When the wielder makes a Deception or Persuasion check, those they are trying to sway will hear the wielder using the most profane and offensive words the listener knows; however, anyone not the target of the check notices nothing different in the wielder's speech. Our party's Bard got this, and it lead to a TON of crazy roleplay shenanigans before we figured out it was cursed and got rid of it. For example, a one point we were being questioned about a robbery we saw happen; the Bard managed to parlay giving a simple witness statement into our whole party being arrested for public indecency, lol!

[@KingXeonMyroku]

I played a few D&D sessions when my roommate hosted the campaigns and I played as the one person who carves or takes any parts off of the monsters/beasts we fight. I kinda wished he made some homebrew items because the items I had crafted were stuff he had to look up as official items in D&D. I don’t know however the horn I got from an white dragon I killed that allows me to cast an Ice Storm spell at 4th level was an actual item or homebrewed. I just wore it like a necklace

[@thorclarke8600]

Oh ive got a few The hat that stabs you: my warlock had a propensity for making hats so at some point I started rolling for hat and wvery time I got a nat 20 the dm let me pick (or we rolled for it idr) a common magic item to be reflavored as a hat. One armblade later and we have a top hat that pops out a robotic arm to stab your enemies with a dagger Emotional Cabbage: anyone hit by this cabbage takes psychic damage and is forced to confront their worst memories The folding chair of folding: a metal folding chair that can further fold into a two inch ish square. Hitting an enemy with this chair grants advantage on intimidation checks made to stop them from fighting

[@jtvanilla1776]

Boots of Punching: these are actually gloves that give +2 to attacks and damage with unarmed attacks, and prevent you from holding things, or doing anything that requires precise hand actions. Also gives disadvantage on any serious CHA saves, because nobody takes serious someone who wears boots on their hands.

[@user-ci3wh7di6g]

It was called "The Bag" whenever a being opened it a giant hairy arm reached out and pulled the one who opened it inside. The Bag would flop around on the ground a few times and then spit out the one who was pulled inside completely naked, and any items or equipment they had on them remain in The Bag.

[@samualier1774]

The Ugly Stick. Its slightly smaller than a club, it deals 4 points of damage automatically. Its enchanted to always heal 5 points, but you have to really hammer the PC to make it work. So you beat your teammates severely to get 1 HP back. Unlimited usage.

[@Voldrim359]

Clerics hates barbarians for this trick 😂

[@quantumphysics7008]

i was not part of this game, but my father once introduced-as a joke item-a special bag of holding that has a small chance to turn each item removed from it into a live weasel. cue the players filling the bag with rocks and using it to cheese several bosses and challenges by throwing handful after handful of live weasels at it, followed by his increasing panic trying to figure out how to curb the usage of this item he had genuinely not expected them to find a use for. last i heard we were throwing around jokes about having a sequel campaign about ridding this area of the world of it's newfound infestation of mutant magical weasels, and/or of the player holding the weasel bag being slowly turned into a weasel-person as their cells were replaced one at a time from weasel-bag overuse.

[@jesternario]

Master Leep’s Cane. I once had a party meet Master Leep. He was a wise martial arts teacher, and a total pervert, because all martial arts master are in films and anime. His cane was used for when people got uppity with him. He would beat them over the head and the PC hit would be reduced to 1 HP. During a fight against a boss, one of the PCs swiped it and beat the boss over the head with it.

[@Typhoonator]

Bag of science weasels A modified, broken bag of tricks that only produces weasels. It can produce an unlimited number per day, but only one can exist at any given time and they "poof" when the bag of tricks would normally reset its charges. When pulling a fluff to make a weasel, roll a d20. On a 1, the weasel comes out comically wide as a giant had sat upon the bag at some point, flattening it.

[@Snowthree]

Ring of Icarian Jumping: When activated it launches the wearer 500 feet in the air. After which they're on their own. Hope you had slow-fall prepared!

[@Sert-yh9uz]

An UNO-Reverse card. It explains itself.

[@fuzzyjuan6069]

World of Darkness, Werewolf the Apocalypse. A discussion about the greater spirit world and more modern realms (TV realm specifically) led to the summoning of a particularly rage filled spirit to power a fetish. Rolls went silly, and the Slumber Flute was created but was cursed as the spirit got forced. On a screwed up activation, the spirit would break loose for the scene (approx an hour) and run amok. Those who fell to it's rage or song would bear the cursed mark of the spirit. Jiggly Puff was a menace...it was great.

[@GrantBlackwell-j9r]

GRASSCUTTER! A huge two-handed scimitar that did 8d8 + 5 + STR + max on CRIT damage... as long as you only used it to cut grass and other plant matter. Well, the joke turns out to be on the DM when we're fighting blights at the Wizard of Wines and a treant on Yester Hill.

[@ashbradshaw6835]

Had a feather that turned into a tree. Used it to launch a giant purple wyrm like 20 feet in the air. Would do again

[@grabtharshammer2085]

The Brown lute. Once per short rest, the user who was proficient with musical instruments. Usually, the Bard could play a single note on this magical loot, which would because any creature within a 15 foot radius to roll a strength saving, throw or else crap their pants. Their speed would be halved on failure. For anyone familiar with the concept of the brown note....

[@grabtharshammer2085]

Voice to text is a bitch, and I hope this comment makes sense

[@kiwinatorwaffles]

i made a ring of tax evasion as a joke (3 charges, resets in april) and one of my players asked if they could have it just for fun. never used it during the main campaign, but for the epilogue oneshot we did, the ring was stolen. lo and behold, the first thing that happened after that was the head of the irs approaching their character 😂

[@Sarah-gp3xh]

I homebrewed dice into my game. My players roll them and a random effect happens for a random amount of time determined by the number rolled on the two d6. The higher, the better. The artificer rolled first and he turned into a sheep for a day. I mostly use the wild magic table from the sorcerer class for these effects and change em up a bit.

[@FrogNotOnTheLog]

THE SMOOSE ROCK™! A rock that was a small smooth stone with a red button on it that summons a "Smoose™". A Smoose™ looks like a small moose, or mini moose from Invader Zim. It could summon an unlimited amount of Smeese™ (yes that's the term created by my DM for several Smoose™), however over usage of The Smoose Rock™ would summon The Smoose Guardian™ to take the rock away and leave a lasting curse causing you to roll a d-20 when resting. Rolling a 5 or below ment you only regained half of the health you would've gotten normally from a short or long rest. Imagine with me though, Arial Smoose™ assault, I will not elaborate.

[@OutragedVirus66]

9:05. I completely misheard that as “a dinosword” and I have to admit that is the most awesome weapon I have ever heard of.

[@WazzpinatorReviews-or1zb]

Now I imagine a T-Rex with a stick in it’s bum

[@WazzpinatorReviews-or1zb]

Now I imagine a Tyrannosaurus rex with a stick in it’s bum

[@OutragedVirus66]

@@WazzpinatorReviews-or1zb I’m imagining something you’d see in monster hunter.

[@LoDirt27]

Cock of Cure Wounds - We were going through some gnome tunnels. We kept getting hit with traps and gnomes playing tricks on us. We finally caught one and intimidated him into giving us a symbol to show the other gnomes and guards, a rubber chicken. "They will know what it means." He said. We kept showing it to the gnomes we came across but the tricks continued so my character started getting frustrated and slapping the the gnomes with the chicken. Longer story short, the chicken was another prank, and I smacked so many gnomes that it was covered in gnomes magic and became a cock of cure wounds with 3 charges of lvl 1 cure wounds.

[@RetroNitro_TV]

Anyone else happened to have this vid recommended to them when it was private to members only without being one? _That happened to me and i was hella confused for a sec_

[@sillylittleenby]

10:53 OXVENTURE MENTION LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO

[@eniqmo6144]

My group had something similar to that bag of holding except it was just called the rat bag . If you missed that session the bag would just swallow you up . We had no control of the bag . It just followed us and was just super gross

[@stevenjohnson6962]

In my first campaign my character found a book called "an inexhaustively comprehensive guide on the topic of why I shouldn't have written this book volume 7 158th edition reprint." If you read from it you had to make an intelligence save because of how difficult to understand it was. If you fail you gain one point of exhaustion. And yes I actually managed to trick the final boss into reading from it right before combat started. 😂

[@mcblaggart8565]

It was known only as "Joe's Arrow." Not a designed item, just a Thing that the dice made. The witch Jabuli who lived in the horribly monster-infested forest to the east really didn't like this town that had sprung up in her territory. She was always trying to get rid of the town, or at least make everyone give up and leave, but without a direct confrontation. (at least until the War.) In person, she was a jolly, cackling sort of witch. She made giant frogs with surgically-implanted steel teeth, zombies with green slime on them, horrible specialty undead, and all kinds of home-made monsters. But on one occasion she tried a magical lightning storm. Joe the elf (interesting character, but this story is too long already) saw a bolt strike the ground and split into three bouncing globes of ball-lightning. One of them grounded itself into the church's gate, leaving it with a worrying glow (eventually dispelled), I forget what happened to the second, and Joe shot the third with an arrow. The ball of lightning disappeared and Joe went to retrieve his arrow. As soon as he touched it his muscles seized and he couldn't let go, and he started taking rapid damage. My character pulled out his sword and offered to help. He didn't wait to hear my suggestion (I wasn't going to cut his hand off!) and took off running. He managed to pry the thing off on the town junk-dealer's fence without dying. You'd expect this to be the end of the story, but in our games, random magical effects of this type don't have a duration. Instead, they roll occasionally to see if they dissipate. The arrow's curse persisted. And persisted. And just kept going, sometimes less active, sometime more and actively sparking. And eventually became permeant after it rolled 3 critical successes in a row. Being a pragmatic sort, Joe started using it as a weapon. When he wasn't using it, he'd leave it hanging from a string in the lean-to he lived in in the scrap yard, amongst the rusty junk orc-armor. This thing stuck around for years and years of play IRL. One night, Jabuli sent messengers; 3 will-o-wisps under her magical control. They arrived at the gate and started making demands in Jabuli's voice. The town guards called for our help and Joe went to get his arrow. On the previous roll on its activity, it had burned through the string, then burned into the ground, until it stopped, becoming seemingly inert, except that now it was powerfully magnetic. Joe wanted to see what a magnetic arrow would to to Will-o-wisps. On the first shot, the arrow whipped around and stuck to the captain of the guard's armor. The second shot stuck into the ground between the wisps. The DM made some rolls. . . It could have done nothing. It could have been ineffective. This was before its effect was permeant, so it could have fizzled out right there. Instead, this was when the arrow took on a life of its own. It pulled the wisps into it and violently, explosively ripped the magic out of them. Quite a light-show. From that moment on, that arrow was a menace. Joe kept using it, and the effects kept getting bigger. It would react with any magic it contacted, and new kinds magic seemed to increase its power. It was like an incredibly unsafe lightning-fireball that Joe kept in his quiver, rattling around with the other arrows. (That's just how that player rolled.) Every time he shot an arrow, the DM had him roll to see which one. He shot 1-hp orc janitor and turned him into a smoldering crater. He shot a magical chain holding balrog with it and the explosion showered the land with lightning, and left the arrow floating on a pool of lava that wouldn't cool as long as the arrow was there. That thing almost killed everyone multiple times. Eventually, it's physical mass was gone, burned away, leaving a crackling, blazing arrow's-outline of unstable power. Lots of stories about this thing, but this is way too long already. If the game had continued long enough, that thing would probably have grown into a world-destroying menace.

[@upark77]

thanks for the video

[@RanierMedic]

Gave a sword to a character who as taking over his noble family after his father was executed for treason. It had a retribution strike that caused 1d6 damage to the wielder, it was an executioners blade.

[@born8541]

The "evagroing swoad" a sword, that grows with each hit. It starts as a dagger, but after the fourth hit it's already bigger and heavier than a typical bihander. and well... with the fifth hit it does 1d20 and has a reach of 3m (comparable to about 10ft) and weighs about 48 pounds and so can barely handled by a normal sized person. And yes, if someone somehow manages to hit with it the 8th time, it weighs a whopping 192 pounds. 🙈😅 Edit: this and other stuff are prototypes of a crazy gnomen artificer looking for some test subjects.

[@misterstibbs562]

The Ring of Teleprompting A magic item that you can use once per day. When casting pick a desired target. For the next minute, whatever they were intending to say, will be displayed in front of them at all times, but at a faster rate than before. If you have no desire target, It affects you instead. The magical Teleprompter can be attacked and destroyed, but will not damage the magic item. One of the most shockingly powerful magic items I’ve ever introduced him into my games. My players used it on a basilisk.

[@misterstibbs562]

Don’t even ask how that was possible. It was mostly just grunts.

[@deepseastonecore3017]

What did the alien cat say when it landed on Earth? "Take me to your litter"

[@Lolbama2012]

The Wand of Infinite Cat Piss

[@noid1978]

iRoc variation of sending stones that worked only on the material plane.

[@thatbloxguy5432]

Bag of Squirrels. This bag starts off with 12 squirrels in the bag. As an action, you can make a Dex Check to grab a squirrel! On a fail, they squirrel runs on you. On a success, you can throw the squirrel. On a hit, the target creature takes 1d4 slashing damage on the start of their turn. They also have their movement reduced by 10 feet per squirrel. All attacks, saves, and checks are made with disadvantage. The squirrel would leave the creature after a successful slight of hand or animal handling. Or after 3 turns with the squirrel on them. After a long rest, you roll 2d6 to see how many squirrels you regain. You could also just grab a squirrel and put it in.

[@BrawlBringer]

Never been this early to a Ripper Video, cool

[@TheMicro4]

So.. This starts with a loot table that I made to speed up what players found. For some reason “Painting” kept coming up as loot. It actually turned into the creator of dungeon putting clues in each painting pointing to a massive treasure. The treasure? It was a massive painting that was basically a your momma joke. Initially the players were mad at me… until they got back to town and showed it to the barkeep. Turns out it was painted by a famous artist and was worth thousands of gold. The bar tender bought it and hung it behind the bar. The players have never laughed as hard as when they were told that this giant momma joke was a masterpiece.

[@davidaward82]

Hammer +3, Dwarf Thrower. looks and functions exactly as a Dwarven Thrower hammer, until a Dwarf tries to throw it, at which point, the Hammer and dwarf quickly spin 180 degrees and the dwarf is launched at the opponent, leaving the hammer behind. the hammer remains floating in place until the dwarf reaches the opponent, at which point it drops to the floor.