D&D Stories: funny moments from my campaign

[@Reac2]

*Church explodes* From a distance, a familiar voice: I WARNED YOU!

[@planetfall5056]

---{=====>

[@mostlyharmless5149]

nice reference

[@immortalinferno8809]

best comment

[@alphonyt7250]

Lol

[@DavidSilverGames]

I am dying. You have slain me. My sword tried to tell me this was coming. I should have listened.

[@NuclearSavety]

... now got hyped about the animated origin story of the turtlef***ers ...

[@NewLegacy93]

He'll cave eventually... even if the animation we get is just the buffer symbol for half an hour

[@shirotatsune3551]

I’m ok with the buffer back story

[@HutchTheWolf]

NuclearSavety he should just upload it to Po** Hu*

[@bgreaud]

He should never have mentioned it. 🤣

[@bluesbreaker6657]

It probably went something like this... “I wanna seduce Oogway!” “That’s not his name and you’re gonna need an incredible roll-“ “Nat 20!” “... WELL. I GUESS. HE SAYS HE’LL TALK TO YOU LATER. IN PRIVATE. IN THE BEDROOM.”

[@schwarzerritter5724]

Once hacking bodies into pieces seems like a good idea, you have to stop and ask yourself how you got to this point.

[@alexengland2432]

It happened in a campaign I'm playing and it started with the Chaotic Neutral School of War Magic Wizard and the Beast Master Ranger working together not being restrained and breaking into someone's house to investigate a robbery and ended with some limbs being hacked off in order to use them to slap someone awake

[@thesixthkid7689]

Ever play "Heavy Rain" and make it to the 3rd trial? It may not count as "hacking" but it does involve cutting off a piece of yourself.

[@arbiterskiss6692]

All my choices made sense at the time.

[@gideonmele1556]

Schwarzer Ritter that point is called DnD

[@VeryPeeved]

well, i apprenticed at a butcher's shop when i was young, so i went on to make a career out of it. pretty straightforward.

[@jacobdavis5722]

I love how the warforged went from being, in the last video, Mobile Suit Gundam Wing to being Megaman. It just reinforces how ridiculous the character must have been. XD

[@nanachimakenshi2512]

Maybe he started as Megaman and then got even better armor that made him into Mobile Suit Gundam Wing!

[@Madhattersinjeans]

I remember seeing warforged in ddo (dungeons and dragons online) back in the day. They were OP as hell, probably because at the time they were a new race so all the pro's wanted to use them. Their immunities made a joke of most of the traps in the game so they were great for powerlevelling. My main memories involve getting into a PUG with groups of them and watching them zerg dungeons in a row like it was nothing, and my derpy ass was struggling to understand how spell slots worked so my amazing ranger got to about level 10 before ever casting a spell. I still think of that game sometimes. I try not to, I was so bad at it to begin with. I got better eventually with a wizard and I properly understood how magic worked and stuff Had a blast with him. Also helped that firewall was an OP spell at the time so wizards only ever had to spam firewall and haste and then you could do whatever dumb spells you felt like. What happened with firewall (before they changed it) was you could cast it on a group of enemies it would stay in effect for 30 seconds or something? and your allies wouldn't be hurt. So you were constantly dancing in circles around groups of mobs just kiting them through walls of fire ad nauseum. Oh and finger of death was just the easy button to deal with just about anything that looked like it could survive a firewall. Looking back on it I had some fun times in a few groups that made dungeons fun, but more often than not I was just carried by the zergers with their vorpal (greensteel? idk don't remember) blades. And traps were brutal as hell on higher difficulties, to the point where if you didn't have exactly 1 rogue and 1 cleric you were never going to complete some of the dungeons. Every other class was just for funsies. So you often had PUG's that were literally just sitting around for up to half an hour on off-peak times waiting for a cleric. Class balance was horrendous back in the day. I think I did see an update just as I stopped playing (which nerfed firewall, rip) but by then I was long past that game. I mostly spent my time wandering around the wild areas killing stuff en masse because I got nervous everytime I joined a group, terrified they would find out how utterly bad I was at the game. It got worse in higher tier dungeons. I'm serious like, I broke out into sweats when I joined a group and got serious social anxiety whenever anyone tried to use their mic to talk. Still get that in online games that have high stakes. So I just never play online games anymore.

[@jacobdavis5722]

@@nanachimakenshi2512 Quite possible. If that's the case, we know he didn't get it from the blacksmith's apprentice. XD

[@Johnny_Shields]

I didn't even notice the difference.

[@jamiewise2909]

Turtlef***ers? Oh God, what did they do to Oogway?

[@milesmatton5601]

My guess: "Hey baby, you come to this place often?"

[@thevortexcrafter7060]

iT's nOt oOgWaY

[@yuui9183]

The real question is, what DIDN'T they do to Oogway?

[@Thatonedude917]

The sexual tension between them became too much

[@VictoryNibbles]

@@Thatonedude917 They showed him how to come out of his shell. Which, considering what that would do to a turtle, sounds about right for this group.

[@shallansward]

"It involves a Fireball." "Huzzah! A man of quality!"

[@Emily12471]

But through a player or from the pharoh? Which one?

[@Sepi-chu_loves_moths]

BigD*ckWizard6969 approves!

[@anthonykelly1645]

I think we need, 1. The story of the flapping whale and 2. How the group got such a wonderful and unique name!

[@Perid0tStar]

I'm also interested in how long the friendly spider stayed with them since he wasn't part of the group in the 'final fight' video. I like the whale too :)

[@Jebu911]

@@Perid0tStar Isnt the whale that aboleth

[@Perid0tStar]

@@Jebu911 Ohhh the one with the split personality from the other video? That would be pretty nifty, but dangerous too lols

[@theoutsider7807]

@@Perid0tStar i'm not sure if that was whimsy....i know for a fact its an aboleth though. maybe they found another one. "ps he mentioned it in his pets video as well."

[@robertwilson2516]

I want to know were to get a flying whale.

[@zacharysnyder2520]

Session one. Two characters take a bath in a barrel. It's been a meme ever since

[@Thatonedude227]

Barrels have many uses

[@bogustoast22none25]

How did that happen?!

[@gizmona1178]

Wow that's shockingly close to what happened to me last session, tho it was brazier and one of our other characters and used it as a toilet a few hours prier...

[@MrBabbaTheGreat]

My first session has been a HUGE meme. I’m just going to say that our sorcerer as his FIRST ACTION EVER in D&D cast “sleep” on a city guard in the tavern... it didn’t end very well, and we ended up hating each other as a character before the quest was given to us

[@samaustin339]

First session of Tomb of Annihilation: the half orc sorcerer drinks from the sewer, and gets a throat leech. Also, he kills an important NPC.

[@PandaWolf525]

The cute flying whale is adorable. “Oh. Of course I know this group. Your the Turtle ******* aren’t you?”

[@smodge2972]

"Me too. I’m very familiar with f**king turtles!"

[@wingw3844]

how can a player play flying whale? what story is this?

[@calebmurray3945]

@@wingw3844 i don't think it's a player; i think it's a pet that the players got

[@the_Miles_crew_fun]

What is it story

[@ColdspaceDog]

PandaWolf525 if he doesn’t animate it let’s make him draw rule 34

[@SunSun-sk4si]

4:15 Wallace's long lost cousin, apprentice of the blacksmith x3

[@jjoshaugh]

We are all... Wallace.

[@XxSoraMifunexX]

No, Ben. You're animating it. You opened this Pandora's box, you're GOING to animate it.

[@ColdspaceDog]

XxSoraMifunexX or at least rule 34 / p hub

[@chrisbartow192]

how am i the second person reply to this comment

[@jjj9640]

6:14 NEO CORTEX.

[@notsogreatjagras4314]

He going to animate it, jsut not on youtube at least

[@inkymoth]

Can we talk about Bernard’s flapping animation? Cuz it’s so cute it hurts my heart

[@schwarzerritter5724]

A good use of smearframes.

[@Emily12471]

What is brenard?

[@tagorewithlyric4394]

@@Emily12471 flying whale

[@taekinuru2]

“It involves a fireball” Ah, a fellow wizard

[@several7452]

Filthy casual, if you can't make yourself roll some of the damage die to be Max, at will, you can't say anything. Not to mention lightning bolt is cleaner

[@TheKartana]

Actually he’s a sorcerer

[@w.mccartney431]

@@several7452 oh hey look someone who is being a jackass for no god damn reason

[@robineir]

I'm a barbarian who got a magic enhanced crown so, yeah fireballs all day.

[@Scortch-lo3xy]

no its ah, a fellow intellectual.

[@LibertyLocalizer]

Thank God he's back to his animated self. That human imposter was just weird.

[@Zabersud]

i liked it..:(

[@dragongaming2796]

Matthew Mazzetti yes, my hypothesis is that this human form is comforting to the mortals and is used to gain relate-ability to them. May also help to not freak them out since humans are known to be fearful of the unknown.

[@Zabersud]

@@dragongaming2796 nah i just think he was pretty lmao

[@entothechesnautknight1762]

Matthew Mazzetti yea, he's back the beardless dwarf we all know and love.

[@Mxlsptlk]

Those guards probably should have instituted some kind of buddy system. It's way too easy to pick off one inept guard.

[@patrickholt2270]

So... live action with sock puppets then?

[@abserd1034]

NoooOoooOOoh! Live action with Abseeerd, because Abserd is soooo powerful!

[@Kevin-cz8qj]

@@abserd1034 get out of my head Abserd!

[@Nickdicrusher]

@@abserd1034 but absurd that would require going to the puppet dimension where there is great evil

[@taythree5549]

don't question this QUICK SOMEONE ROLL A D20... at least a few humans did in fact decide to do so, and mathematically at least 1 in 20 of them got a NAT20, sooo... BY THE LAWS OF DND PUFFIN FOREST MUST DO A SOCKPUPPET EDITION OF HOW THE PARTY GOT THEIR OUTRAGEOUSLY ABSEEERD NAME.

[@patrickholt2270]

I can't believe this is the most popular comment of mine on KZbin so far... Well gosh!

[@almostbeardedtraveler2046]

Hahaha that funny moment when you don't have enough place to hide the bodies

[@LibertyLocalizer]

#relatable

[@spacetrainbaby3737]

yeah happens all the time

[@thekingofston7591]

Love the name

[@prestonjones1653]

Every Hitman game ever.

[@ADogToy]

In a game we got a modified bag of holding, it had 5x the capacity and came in the form of a chest. We called it the casket of holding.

[@klandgraf6956]

Rogue and the Monk sound like the definition of “that escalated quickly” lol

[@sunayama4650]

The giant flying blue potato looks so cute flapping its wittle blue fwippers. 💙 Wait TURTLE F... WHAT!? Ben!!! Explain!

[@NotTheBelt1]

I think something happened to Oogwey.

[@Stafarns]

@@NotTheBelt1 oh nooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooogggggggggggggwayyyyyyyyyyyyy "Distanced voice" thats not my name

[@revengelordofmagic1013]

@@NotTheBelt1 please say it was another turtle, please

[@copper589]

Ok, don't need a turtle F**cker animation, but can we get an expliniation for the giant flying whale lol

[@mokies7811]

His great thats why

[@bleflar9183]

You accidentally put "don't" in there.

[@copper589]

@@bleflar9183 no, wasn't an accident

[@nemtudom5074]

The giant whale is the bipolar monster from another video, isn't it? The one that whispered menacing things to them and turned out it was friendly?

[@bleflar9183]

@@copper589 Nah, no way. Its not possible to not need turtle f**cker animation.

[@Zephemus]

I remember that Nine Inch Nails had a song called Starf***ers Inc. Someone remix it for Turtlef***ers Inc. It'll be great.

[@Icabobify]

...you'll get +10 exp in exchange....

[@ThePigeon5734]

@@Icabobify and fifty inspiration...

[@saturnsvictory3368]

@@ThePigeon5734 2 copper

[@ahumantryingtosurvive]

@@saturnsvictory3368 3 silver

[@feathern6106]

@@ahumantryingtosurvive Orb of floating: It levitates three and a half inches off the ground and is just not magical enough to be effective as a spell casting focus also small enough to be kept in a small pouch

[@awesomeness1122]

Okay now you definitely have to animate the turtle story we will dog you until the end of time until you do.

[@the_atomic_one1700]

I love that damn flying whale I would get it as merch

[@h20wizard57]

MY GOD YES

[@magicman9218]

Except that's their aboleth

[@CesarTheKingVA]

"welcome to blubbos, sever your leg please sir"

[@the_atomic_one1700]

@@CesarTheKingVA ???

[@CesarTheKingVA]

@@the_atomic_one1700 just my 2000s internet reference humor (aka homestarrunner) surfacing. I'll squash it back down again.

[@TheBeastr]

"But That's Our Best Part!" "I Said I'M NOT ANIMATING IT!" *TENSION*

[@ColdspaceDog]

“But that’s the best part” If not animating, make some rule 34 of it

[@kompletnyidiota4196]

"But That's Our Best Part!" *Showing pictures of everyone in the party raping turtles*

[@a-joker245]

@@kompletnyidiota4196 W-WHY

[@a-joker245]

@@ColdspaceDog NO!

[@theguywiththeoldds3896]

@a-joker **busts through wall** *OH YEAH*

[@gvrbeer7441]

In the next episode : Ugway is getting tag-teamed by a group of adventurers.

[@mr.dantastic5073]

I had to stop at 1:51 and burst out laughing, if it were real life they’d be class A psychopaths, but it’s legit funny cause it’s D&D

[@blacrow7]

Yep, funny things happens in D&D.

[@PiousSlayer]

They went full Dexter mode.

[@Ivan_Cornelius]

I had a customer call right at that scene and had to keep muting myself because I couldn't stop laughing.

[@funnyblog100]

I would have served the cultists their comrades in a dish after putting on a chefs uniform Hannibal Lecter style at that point just to make it even more fucked up.

[@NegiWhite]

So you guys have no idea what alignment is

[@amdreallyfast]

A couple session ago, our Paladin bought 50 chickens. "Just think of how much fun I bought for just 1 gold!" He put them in his Bag of Holding. No, there is no air in the bag.

[@getthegoons]

Chicken tenders for dinner forever.

[@TheDancerMacabre]

That's exactly what my Dwarf Monk did with his mount. It's a long story. He got his pony drunk, we had to make camp, attacked by demons, and he shoved his pony in the bag to protect him... ... We later Tauntaun'd it.

[@justinbuergi9867]

John Cox but that means they’ll never rot and thus they’re perfectly preserved to eat forever

[@amdreallyfast]

@@justinbuergi9867: Is rotting an aerobic process or anerobic? Would meat still break down in a pocket dimension at Standard Temperature and Pressure, just without oxygen? These are important questions to which we must rigorously apply selective physics to obtain the most entertaining effect.

[@justinbuergi9867]

John Cox I have to imagine that without oxygen there’d by no bacteria that could survive in the dimension to eat away at dead things In fact, the bag of holding can be considered a disinfectant as it kills all the germs on something that enters it.

[@nietlasse5864]

The most confusing thing to me here is that my own party isn't the only one riding a flying whale....

[@SparrowsKeep14]

are we not going to talk about the flying wailord?

[@LOUDMOUTHTYRONE]

We have to focus on one story for now.

[@graysonperdue9402]

Spartan King wailord weighs less than air so they can all fly naturally you know

[@nightwarper1760]

Or why mega man is with a group called the Turtle F*****s

[@SparrowsKeep14]

@@graysonperdue9402 Oh right, how could I forget?

[@sleepyselkiesiren]

T-pose towards your enemies. You don't have a choice. I think that apprentice knew more than they let on.

[@karahtar]

You know you're gonna have to animate that now, don't you? We'll riot if you don't. You don't wanna cause the deaths of innocent people, do you Ben? ... Ben?

[@themadmystic1688]

He is a DM. Innocent people dying is just story fuel for him.

[@NimhLabs]

I think that is just part of his plan, really. I mean... after what happened on that Taking20 video thanks to Abserd.

[@charlespk2008]

ANIMATE THE PORN STORY AND UPLOAD IT TO PORNHUB. come on, every artist needs to acknowledge the beauty of the human(oid) body.

[@laffinggas8068]

if he doesn't then I will go to the temple wait until lunch time and stab everyone who's with me

[@thex9165]

His face is exposed. We can hunt him.

[@gabrielrussell5531]

I take it you're not gonna explain the whale?

[@thumperpaul155]

??? Doesnt every party have a flying whale?

[@stevenmichel7270]

@@thumperpaul155 if not then they need to get one especially if its a narwhale those can even fight

[@kyuura4324]

Paul Douglas Mine has a beholder in a jar, does that count?

[@apocalypseofoto]

Those flappy fins though

[@Zarvain]

@@stevenmichel7270 Every adventuring party needs something to protect them from Cuthulu.

[@isenokami7810]

Just...that whale flapping his little fins to fly... XD

[@Soy_Sauce_Supreme]

He said he won't animate the "Turtle f***ers" story never said he won't tell it. So what's the story Puffin?

[@rin-4540]

Im guesin the players tried to.... Rape uhgway?

[@TheGuardDuck]

@@rin-4540 🤪

[@weezards1014]

@@rin-4540 oh fuck yeah Definitely

[@esnethen5915]

@@rin-4540 sounds about right

[@arielsproul8811]

captain Morgen

[@LetsPlayCrazy]

WE WANT TO SEE THE ORIGIN TO THE TURTLE PROCREATORS!!!! PS: I am so very proud, that with all my social commentary and political debates, my most upvoted comment by far is about turtle procreation. I have achieved inner peace.

[@Zero_Shift]

We want turtle procreators, ben is all about turtle procrastinators

[@Timspt8]

Yes please

[@Artrysa]

Yeah, who doesn't like turtles?

[@5789Ranger]

People who actually know how turtle dick looks like .

[@gran9773]

@@5789Ranger THAT.... might be true... cant be worse than a ducks right? right...?

[@southron_d1349]

I'm now waiting for the story where he's running a Ghostbusters game. Then, for the great finale, the huge climax, the PCs are supposed to avoid thinking of anything... Suddenly! Lurching down the road towards them comes... Wallace!!!! Or Abserd. They're equally terrifying.

[@gremlinwc8996]

Wallace because Abserd is the true hero, and wallace is a burden at very best.

[@ericb3157]

reminds me of a silly fan-story where they tried to think of nothing,and someone thought of..."Derpy" from My Little Pony: kzbin.info/www/bejne/opTKlIJqfaloqKc

[@southron_d1349]

@@ericb3157 Someone ran the names through a neural network and it came up with new My Little Pony names. Including Starly Star and Raspberry Turd. So it could've been a bit worse.

[@jade4130]

Who else was hoping for - I WARNNNNNED YOU

[@gamingpandaboy]

I wasnt at first...but thats bevause I forgot about that

[@TheLithp]

I forgot that was the same campaign. Best character in the Puffinverse.

[@gamingpandaboy]

@@TheLithp I WAAAARRRRRRNNNNNNNED YOU

[@gronklevlonkle1717]

You're fans are gonna ask for something terrible been I WAAAAARNED YOUUUUU

[@thaliatognotti3256]

I was

[@Nerazmus]

I am suddenly worried about Oogway. ... god save us

[@gamingpandaboy]

I WAAAARRRRRRNNNNNED YOU!

[@Pillzpop]

"It's not Oogway!"

[@marronVulpes1991]

Nah, I bet Oogway liked it

[@MrBizteck]

@@marronVulpes1991 slowwwww

[@JXEditor]

Did the two in the kitchen get XP for all those guards?

[@merpyderpy7613]

naw its just hitman

[@deadghost316]

They were using milestone

[@terrymullins7338]

Was the milestone "kill a hundred guards with ambush"

[@joshshore27]

@@terrymullins7338 As a dm who tends to use milestone for something exceptional like that I would definitly give inspiration and likely a decent amount of gold as if you assume each guard has a a few silver or a gp that adds up quick when you've slaughtered over a hundred guards, because it would totally screw encounter balance if you let them level for every awesome thing they do.

[@oz_jones]

I am just surprised that the guards entered the kitchen one by one.

[@KenanVonKaiser]

I Like He Doesn't Mention The Giant Whale In The Story!

[@DrErikNefarious]

That's the story I want to know

[@alexhodson6342]

"You're the Turtle-#$%&ers, aren't you?" Best single line I've heard on youtube, ever. You rock PuffinForest!

[@ColdspaceDog]

No it’s”I too am very

[@kapitan19969838]

Bitey is just precious, I need more of him 🥰

[@CoolBoyShane]

The illithid moment, trying to convince a party not to do something stupid... I know that feeling. Well done as always!

[@DRAGONalpha117]

yeh i once used all my illusion spells to derail our journey creating fake obstacles to let the party live

[@thefracturedbutwhole5475]

Yep, I tried to talk my party out of fighting Manshoon the manyfaced (mainly the wizard because it was his idea) . . . . he is very powerful, I said, he will likely kill us, I said, NO, let's go and kill him, they said, you don't know shit, they said . . . . We went, the wizard got hit with the 9th level spell - power word kill straight away and died right out of the gate (we are level 5), I managed to restrain him with a net, the monk stunned him, the cleric cast silence and we managed to kill him . . . . If only the wizard had listened, at least he died how he lived . . . Screaming like a bitch

[@Elitex62]

I honestly saw Azreal as a coward that had no concern of the long term threat it poses.

[@Banejbt]

Eh, that's easy with the right character. The real challenge is convincing them to go on a suicide mission when no one wants to muahaha.

[@JustinY.]

What a bizarre adventure.

[@Auriga499]

SO FAST?

[@atomicbamboo2453]

How the hell do you get here so fast?

[@almostbeardedtraveler2046]

It has been 5 fu*king seconds

[@keithscott8461]

Oh~ You came so fast!

[@PorktatoesSSRB]

*AYYYY YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY*

[@michaelfoye1135]

What isnit about D&D that causes some players to enact things they'd be ashamed to tell a dominatrix about?

[@spritemon98]

They're afraid it might turn on the dominatrix even more

[@MatthewJones-jg4eu]

@@spritemon98 as a dom myself we have heard it all

[@twinzzlers]

​@@MatthewJones-jg4eu_FALTUENCE_

[@supershinystar5515]

My question is: how did they get the flying whale?

[@jackth23mellow7]

and what is the flying whale ? it cant just be what it looks like

[@PsylomeAlpha]

same place Aang got the flying bison

[@milesmatton5601]

Whale, or turtle?

[@endosmuthmaobethwen7030]

I believe that's the Aboleth from a previous story I may be wrong, but it looks a lot like it

[@Dsrikers]

@@endosmuthmaobethwen7030 that was my thoughts aswell

[@marcos2492]

I already needed a second part of the animal companion video (the aarakocra, aboleth and dragon part) and now you just drop another cliffhanger like you don't even care, Ben

[@Starphoenix]

I concur with the desire for another animal companion video, but I also want another video dealing with Trixie Starbright, Macchavellian School Girl.

[@TECH097]

The idea of Bitey and Michelle's comedic exchange being improv is so mich better when you realize it's Ben and Will derping around as brothers with great creative chemistry.

[@faketins4657]

Ya know, now you have to animate it.

[@faketins4657]

@wildcard1288 not good enough. If it isn't Ben, it isn't worth

[@marykateharmon]

He doesn't need to animate it. Hearing the story would be enough.

[@sirawesomeness7543]

My funnest session: Session 1: we’re stuck in a labyrinth prison full of monsters and criminals. Every time someone turns around, the labyrinth changes for only them. Being session one and a big group, 5/7 people all turn and end up forming 5 groups (2 turned at the same time). I was one of the people on his own... I was a fighter... without magic... with only a scimitar. So I decide to go into the darkest room which I break open despite it being unlocked. I wander into a room full of mushrooms which look tasty since I’m starving and have no food. I have myself a mushroom snack and rest comfortably when all the sudden I see puppies (quasits) rain down from the ceiling and surround me! I go up to the first winged puppy and pick the fluffy (slimy) thing up. It’s so cute that I hug it and cuddle it while it hugs me back (struggling to escape). I make a few animal handling rolls which are critical success! (The DM looks at me with that stare of disbelief as I begin to derail my mini adventure.) I try complimenting the puppy while it’s friends watch and the puppy speaks to me in return in it’s cute ...fiendish... whimpers... I spend a few minutes mocking my new puppy which is actually starting to warm up to me (yes I tamed a quasit on my first day) and began learning the basics of the fiendish language. The puppy told his friends to back off and they sat back and enjoyed a mushroom snack of their own while I played with my puppy. After 15 minutes of taking shrooms, taming a demon, learning fiendish, and joining a tribe of quasits, someone entered through the door and shot one of the other puppies in the head. Suddenly, my puppy and his friends sprouted their wings and flew off into a ceiling which somehow could teleport fiendish flying puppies. My character shed a slight tear as his new found pet/friend left him forever. Until this day, that character didn’t realize he was tripping balls on hallucinogenic shrooms and managed to tame demons. But the memories of his first puppy that taught him a language of the hells remained deep within his heart.

[@AntProxy]

What a beautiful story of friendship

[@dijasom]

@@AntProxy got lost, starved, found food, tamed a puppy, learned a new language, was betrayed, whats not to love about this story.

[@barbatosmcmurderton4209]

@@dijasom That he never saw the puppy again.

[@chrisschoenthaler5184]

I read the words “winged puppy” and my brain just translated it to “large bat”.

[@sirawesomeness7543]

dijasom more like I got lost so I ate shrooms, got high, hallucinated monsters into cute animals, tamed demons, and learnt the language of the hells. And that was only the first half of the session. Second half, a teammate managed to ricochet an arrow off the enemies helmet and shot himself with it when a couple critical fails reflected it back to his own head. He was level 1 and managed to do a full 10 damage with some extra damage that the feat he chose gave him. All directed at his brain on what was now his own critical hit. With a failed dodge/AC roll. It was his first attack in the game.... and he had the highest initiative... nobody would attack after that......

[@sigspearthumb3904]

@6:44 Fun fact, Back in the Original DnD my Dad played a Monk and jumped out of windows on the third story of a building for fun. Because he could land without any damage. Being everyone else in the party you could imagine what their reaction was to the Monk just jumping out of a window for fun.

[@GamerTowerDX]

Your dad sounds awesome

[@Oddmanoutre]

Ahh, just forget how they got the name and focus on their awesome theme song! Murder Hobo Tortlef***ers Murder Hobo Tortlef***ers Murder Hobo Tortlef***ers Killers with a Short Fuse, Tortlef***ing!

[@marcialhd]

Oddman Outre thank you for this but you do know that its turtle with "u" not "o" right?

[@NuclearHeadshot]

@@marcialhd Oogway is a tortle, not a turtle.

[@burakka96]

Well now you HAVE to animate it

[@WillFredward7167]

Holy crap that's hilarious. So 2 PC's were just full-blown serial killer horror movie villains

[@mementomori5580]

You do realize that we're now gonna pester you every episode that we wanna hear the story of how they got known as the turtlef***ers, right? So better get animating!

[@TheLithp]

Yeah, you can't NOT tell us how they became the Turtleforkers.

[@gimok2k5]

So.... how did they get the name "Turtle ****"? You now have to tell us. We demand it. This ancient, evil knowledge needs to be ours! Also the second video about the silly amount of pets one group had.

[@Heavenlyhounds96]

Group 1: *has to kill guard after guard ad-nauseum just to get a chance to escape the kitchen and lower levels* Group 2: OMG THESE CULTISTS ARE CANNIBALS! Group 3: OMG THESE INTRUDERS ARE **CRAZY** Me: XD

[@thejezuit4048]

Group 4: Why does this room smell like death and turtle-sex?

[@tanith117]

Its Hitman All over again.

[@jackthorton10]

So... many... bodies

[@rustytoyota]

You got me into D & D, and it got me out of the house. I made some friends, and got laid because of it! Thanks, Man, I owe you big time.

[@Rax.]

beware gravity you Got laid from playing dnd? Something doesnt Sound right

[@stephendalton1331]

Yeah I think they are lying that like mathematically impossible

[@SharowbladyeGaymerPorate]

A turtle by any chance?

[@PhilieBlunt666]

Ya definitely a turtle.. 😂😂

[@Fin_Ale]

U got laid from playing D & D? How do I get in on this?

[@mercedogre]

next video; "Okay, I said I wasnt going to animate this but........."

[@lucas106mm]

So, on a scale of 1 to blame the druid, How would you rate the turtlefucking story?

[@litlitten4207]

Lucas was I think u mean bard

[@Emily12471]

@@litlitten4207 no druid is much more likely as i mean it's a druid

[@justnoob8141]

Blame Bard & Druid Joint Plan

[@escinema1942]

Please animate the story of how they got that name

[@Athetos_Admech]

I'd be happy with him just telling us if he doesn't want to animate it.

[@nonya1366]

So what your saying is, Bleep Turtles will get a guest animator! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

[@abserd1034]

OoooOooOooooOOOOooh, hello there! I'm Abserd and very sad! Why isn't Abserd in that video? There was great daaaanger! (Also you can read this in my voice because Abserd is soooooo powerful!)

[@itsmeromanos]

Omg it's true! I read it in your voice!

[@MrPoopeater91]

Oh no, it's the great abserd... whatever are we.... gonna do

[@Audiotrocious]

except you can if you plan it right@Logan Rabe

[@Barnicalsify]

The mystical powers of Abserd!

[@tsurugikage]

Hmmmm..... Abserd V.S. Chadwick Strongpants.

[@Ethonra]

Ah one of my favorite pastimes. Listening to more Tales From The Lol-side. Oh and the Malikar story is my favorite so really enjoyed this one!

[@emdm2220]

Why is this video exactly what I need right now? Edit: I also demand flying whale murch

[@mat8791]

Because you may only have that ?

[@jamesanthony8438]

... Because you are a simple man and don't ask for much? =)

[@dreamtraveler86]

@@christopherrhodes3228 Aahahahaha

[@jasperpalov129]

lmao that church exploding is so relatable. it killed my friends halfling rogue and dragonborn sorcerer

[@DutchBlackMantha]

"Oh my god! Those cultists... were eating their own people!" "Those Savages!"

[@doktordanomite9105]

you cannot just tease turtle Fornicators and leave it you crook.

[@thnecromaniac]

I now just rewatch just for the first story, of them killing the gaurds endlessly

[@CuthiePatootie]

A dwarf monk pirate has been playing in my game for years. Once upon a time he was lost in the Underdark and I just madeup an item 'Medallion of Lilith' or whatever that let him communicate with spiders. So in every campaign he always looks out for spiders and befriends them. Some tag along, some don't. He was hiding in the woods in an abandoned tower with some witches outside. He was asking if any spiders were around to help him. One was very friendly. "Can you spin me some webs so I can set up a trap?" "But.. but I'm not that kind of spider. I can't make webs." :'( And he hurt it's feelings. Anyways, so weird that you guys have a monk that -also- speaks to spiders. :D

[@judymcclenny9549]

Lautner Goodall what kind of Spider doesn't make webs?

[@jjoshaugh]

I know. I thought Web making was a union rule or something!

[@dargondude2375]

@@judymcclenny9549 Some Tarantulas I think

[@jarenbladedancer6778]

@@judymcclenny9549 Spiders who don't live of insects, such as Huntsman Spiders and Tarantulas have no need for webs, so most of those have very devolved... Web... Gland... Things.

[@Pugiron]

All spiders make silk even if they do not use the silk to make webs. They make egg sacks and etc. So your ignorance let that spider get its feelings hurt, asshole.

[@JonnyO514]

What did you do to Oogway?!

[@ShasOSwoll]

1:19 I mean if the Pharoh is a Tyrant then explaining to him that the world IS ABOUT TO END might get him on side

[@deptusmechanikus7362]

When Hitman meets D&D🤣

[@tanith117]

Im going to be running a stealthy heist based campaign soon. I am hoping it dosen't devolve into the payday 2 strategy we had.

[@timeenoughatlast3368]

i ran out of places to hide gaurds on marikesh, so i dumped them over the wall... into the only starewell... they blocked up the entrance so badly that new guards couldnt get up the stares

[@redtsar]

We all know you're going to animate it ;b

[@ZoanBlade90]

Still refusing to tell the story of how the group got a bird butler, and a dragon accountant, I see...

[@EnderRNWL]

ZoanBlade90 AND the story of Oogway getting f*#ked

[@batangbatugan]

What happened to Mobile Suit Gundam Wing? And how did he become Megaman? I want to hear THAT story!

[@blarg2429]

This is a prequel to the one with the Gundam; he must have become a Gundam later on.

[@vatrynfanelia2272]

This is a prequel story so Megaman became Mobile Suit Gundam Wing. My guess would be the actual character is some kind of ancient robot golem and he's just having custom armor built to match his favorite robot characters. Probably found some Gundanium ingots to build the new armor.

[@gamingpandaboy]

Maybe he started out as megaman and then got a "few" upgrades

[@PsylomeAlpha]

@@gamingpandaboy Clearly the character killed a gundam in a boss fight

[@gamingpandaboy]

@@PsylomeAlpha clearly

[@thumperpaul155]

"I probably just saved your life there." LOL

[@broonters2671]

I need the story of the Turtle F*uckers. I need it.

[@Ian-bf4yk]

Animate it Animate it Animate it If you want to If you want to If you want to.

[@tylercrawford5582]

man, i love your animations and stories.. keep it up :)

[@MarsM13]

1:49 such adorable art for a scene of pure "Event Horizon" level horror.

[@CRKennat]

You're going to Animate how the party got that Name! I need to know the origin of the Turtlef***ers!

[@Kukzie]

If I remeber correctly when he PF got his brother to play D&D and he wanted to play Gnome Monk and the gnome monk character looks identical from Chadwick Strongpants video. Could that possibly mean that brother of PF went trough whole campaing of "Sadness"?

[@lichtheimer]

"once inside the group wanted to split up." I have never been in a group where that happened and nobody died within the hour. Never split the group. This is not Scooby Doo.

[@tsifirakiehl4250]

🎶Don’t you know you never split the party: clerics in the back keep those fighters hale and hearty, the wizard in the middle where he can shed some light, and you never let that damn thief out of sight!🎶

[@cypherchocoboknight6559]

My wife loved the flying whale so much we had to pause it and go back to rewatch it.

[@wingw3844]

Ben you need to talk more about the flying whale

[@jokerswild469]

Should of told the turtle story then we could all animate it using our mind axes!!

[@thunderNTOC]

Reminds me of the time I had a haftling bard who went toe to toe with a barbarian warlord and his armies. All of his weapons ended up breaking it cane down to his Lute. He would use oil as cocktails and stuffed ball bearing in a sack with rope to hit soldiers. Rolling very high numbers and being creative. It finally came down to him and the warlord. This took place on a cliff overlooking the sea. Rolling a nat 20 he tackled the warlord off the cliff, and using a save roll he managed to roll another nat 20 and save himself by hanging from his bagpipe.

[@plankthereturn]

why did mobile suit gundam wing get . replaced with megaman

[@Aazdremzul]

Earlier build, weaker set up.

[@LordNumbnutsthe1st]

Weel, that apprentice hadn't earned his magic hammer license yet for a VEEERRRY good reason... poor Mobile Suit... adamantine isn't supposed to bend that way....

[@monokumaprincipalofhopespe8295]

Plank_ I TOLD YOU, ITS A LEGAL CHARACTER

[@heliosextras2703]

Why does every tortle look like Oogway?

[@ChouhouinNeko]

HES NOT OOGWAY!

[@davidaward82]

Ah, the warforged. used to play in a campaign where every player had 2 characters. Mine were a warforged Artificer and Samurai. Maybe a little OP after i made the airship.

[@michaelzelaski297]

I just love the whale.

[@jare3459]

Here thing if you kill all guards it make sneaking easyer *Sneak 100*

[@beastwarsFTW]

They won't notice you if there is no one to notice you.

[@Smokey2873]

Stealth vs Russian Stealth. No bodies for the guards to notice or no guards to notice the bodies xD

[@waylonsherman5599]

Russian Stealth?

[@ctlinx5983]

great skyrim x D&D joke

[@seyproductions]

I love the voice acting in your D&D Stories!

[@KojiKamori]

Two things: What is up with the flying blue whale? And how did they get the name Turtle F.......?

[@kobalt-red5895]

...riends

[@TommysMatchbook]

Turtle *FRIENDS*

[@thesixthkid7689]

I was wondering if anyone was gonna mention that. I'm thinking like "No, I'm not gonna ask about the whale because if I do I might sound retarded." and then you, my savior, show up and say it.

[@kendrickrochelanzot2053]

I think the whale is a abloleth

[@codya6037]

0:37 When in Hitman you find your target alone, kill him, then his bodyguard walks in.

[@timwoods2852]

XD The little flappy whale, hissing spider talk, an endless stream of guards. I think I laughed the most from the beginning to the end of this video more than any other you've made so far!

[@jackielinde7568]

But, BEN! you HAVE to TELL the story... (The animation is optional. ;)

[@entothechesnautknight1762]

Jack Linde *Optimal

[@lunacron]

4:14 When he turned around, I thought he was going to sound like Morty. Aw geez.

[@nathankurtz8045]

It's kinda similar.

[@nathankurtz8045]

...

[@krystianwente9116]

Your videos are awesome! They always brighten my day when I watch them!! Thank you for all you do!

[@fazzitron]

Yah, we're gonna at least need an explanation if we don't get an animation.

[@jamesanthony8438]

Put it in a bard's song! Make it ye olde music video! =)