Dad's Getting Pregnant | Chosen Family Podcast

[@lyssyr1711]

Alayna gets engaged. Ashley gets pregnant. Mak gets her passport.

[@Jayden.A.M]

First mom gets engaged now dad gets pregnant. This is crazy

[@_asantesana_squashbanana_]

Divorce closes some doors but opens others lol

[@karolinapajaczkowska9936]

And hot tenage brother may go to th europe

[@shobo4482]

that sounds so strange without context HAHA

[@Peeeast]

She’s moving on, his moving up, maks moving in family development

[@olppuuu]

​@@shobo4482w2x

[@karisfunkartist]

Mac's Quote of the Day: "If you go out, your boobs go with you."

[@docxen]

mac's a teenage brother (baby) can't help they are into boobs lol j/k j/k love mac.

[@docxen]

also wait....could we..no we cant....what if we did....could we nickname mac's g/f cheese??

[@stephaliexoxo]

Mack: ‘this is relaxing for me’ Ashley & Alana: ‘you shouldn’t be prewashing’ 😂🥲😅😅

[@lavanya-sp3zy]

9:01 i like how no one even acknowledges mak's twilight references anymore, its okay, we got you mak

[@cael_aj]

You know, "It's just natural to feel like no one's ever gonna want you" is actually pretty reassuring to me as a 26-year-old with super low self-esteem who has never dated anyone. I feel that way all the time, but to know that even people who have dated people feel that way, it does make me feel less like there's something wrong with me.

[@SpaceyD]

There's nothing wrong with you 🧡

[@herz5159]

I love how Gen Z Mak is and how highlighted that is this episode. Her weird tiktok audio reference and her unknowingly using a 9/11 song

[@a-morgan-l]

Alayna's consideration moment over Ashley's don't fck with me vibes and everyone's reactions had me on the floor 😭

[@shakesrear7850]

yea that was fun

[@gwenjulianna2372]

I'm a trans woman, and I loved this conversation. I agree that genital preference is valid and not transphobic. Sometimes it just is what it is. It only becomes transphobic if someone doesn't believe trans people are real, or that our genitals determine our gender. (What even is nonbinary then?) I do think that having an open mind and maybe rethinking how sex can play out with a trans partner can be a good thing for trans acceptance. A lot of trans women don't want to use their shenis for penetration, can't even get erections, and often want to be bottoms in bed. Trans men may want to use strap ons and top. And of course there are trans people who are opposites of these too, and maybe even verse (like me). Sex with trans people is a wide range of possibilities, which is true of cisgender people too. It's important in any relationship to find a partner you vibe with sexually, and trans people, like cis people, have a lot more to offer in bed than just what's in our pants, especially when we step outside of stereotypical hetero-normative ways of having sex. (Kink for instance)

[@3Oh3metrostation]

Thanks for the insight from the trans woman perspective. Very well said.

[@hellif.8314]

As a cis person newly dating a trans person I'm really thankful for your insight! They have a mix of the listed preferences which surprised me at first, but I love exploring everything with them what we both want.

[@Phoenix-yl3go]

Nonbinary means not binary it’s in the name. It means not a man or a woman. (I’m nonbinary/trans).

[@foxintrash9636]

So true I feel like if someone looses interest in a person because of their genitalia then they should explore why that is. If it’s really just a cut and dry preference then it’s obviously fine, I think the worry some of us trans people have is that in there’s an underlying preconceptions that leads to that preference. Just be open with your mindset and thoughts and be ready to really understand where they are coming from

[@kapowjam3462]

How on earth did Mak get a passport in 5 days?!?! Dad can seriously manifest

[@cicisbridgers]

my question for mak is, WHERE’S THE WOODEN SIGN YOU PROMISED ALAYNA !?!???? 😅

[@peppersgofer]

In her defense she has not been able to get to her dad’s work shed in quite a while and now she’s in California

[@mariannetfinches]

Yes! She's in LA now so she can beg Simone Giertz or Laura Kampf for a Collab🤞🏼

[@avat782]

@@mariannetfinchesthat would be SO GOOD

[@Jennaswirly]

4:19 Hi autism rabbit hole person here…lol…dishwasher cleans dirtier dishes better because modern dishwashers have sensors in them that detect how dirty the dishes are and apply the correct water pressure and amount of soaking based on how many particles it senses on the dirty dishes. The dirtier the dishes the cleaner they get. Also a tip I saw from a dishwasher repair person, clean your drain out in the bottom once a month or at least once a quarter, use one of those dishwasher cleaner things once a quarter or so if there are weird smells do both. That is all. Love you guys! Congrats on all the big steps ya’ll are taking in life!

[@Ray-zy7vb]

my dishwasher will not get everything off tho 😭

[@jessicahernandez3090]

Thanks for the tip, this is awesome info to have

[@wolf123450]

So you're saying it's only if you have a newer dishwasher?

[@jenniferjarvis4062]

@@wolf123450 sensors have been present since they started putting what is basically a garbage disposals in them. So like late 90s early 2000s. The dishwasher I bought in 2004 it was a Kennmore and it had the disposal and sensors in it. That was 20 years ago now. So it depends I guess what you consider newer vs old.

[@jenniferjarvis4062]

@@Ray-zy7vb are you using liquid or pods? Powder and liquid filling both the pre wash cup and the main cup will clean better than the new pods that they over charge us for. The enzymes in the liquid work better than the pods version and if you want both enzymes and bleach use powder. Try different soaps and settings on it and see if it makes any difference. Also taking the entire water arm apart and making sure all the water jet holes are clear can help. Mine had gotten soft water gunky and needed a soaking in some descaler, vinegar will work but it is slower so an all day soak. Pipe cleaners come in handy if you have hard or soft water scaling on the sprayers.

[@fiikahlo]

Bodydoubling = seeing or being near people who do a similar thing as you As in going to the library to study around people who study as well, it can help with all kinds of things, motivation, attention, executive dysfunction. Anchoring = having a person with you who just hangs out while you do the thing, and reminds you to stay on task if you stray and might help to make decisions etc if you get stuck on things. Like someone sitting with you in the kitchen while you do the dishes. Can help with similar things. Both of these might also work with videos and podcasts, because for some people, they really need just any relaxed/calm human presence for co-regulation, so they're able to keep their frustration and anxiety at tolerable levels. Might work also by watching/listening videos that are about the topic, or are about someone doing the thing, like cleaning videos, studying videos etc, that's the body doubling in play.

[@christietheys2329]

Thank you so much for these explanations and examples!

[@corskap]

beans for the british and 'lone and be hold' have killed me Mak 😂😂😂😂😂

[@almasamocha3018]

ADHDer confirming that body doubling is often a lifesaver for me. Doesn't matter if it's cleaning, studying, brushing teeth, going on a run. Body doubling literally makes impossible routines, habits or chores a million times easier and I can't quite explain why.

[@laurenlewis2949]

It was the confident nod Ashley saying “I give a really good ‘do not fuck with me’” at 6:58. Then Alaina’s smile is golden 😂

[@simplepunk-pl5dl]

I made my new PA for my spine surgeon laugh so hard! We were getting ready for me to have staples removed after my spine surgery. I made my comment of my concern being "I'm afraid once the staples are gone the incision will tear open and my body parts will yeeet themselves out". She loved this so much she left my comment in the appointment notes and has shared it with the whole office. I felt so good to make someone laugh and leave a funny impression with!

[@chrisoneill325]

I actually had that kinda happen. When I was a teenager, I had surgery on my head to replace a shunt. I've had this surgery tons of times before, without many complications. This time, a few days after I got home from the hospital, the incision actually *did* come apart and started leaking CSF. Called my doctor and he thought I was joking at first, because it just happened to be April 1st... when he realized I was serious, he had me rush to the ED and had surgery to correct it. I'll never forget the thought of "oh shit, my brain is leaking" 🤣

[@WAMilyFamily]

I am disabled and I have a child. I agree with so much that was said during the conversation around wanting your baby to be healthy.

[@IzzyTheLittlestJeep]

47:03 As someone that was married to a (trans)man it’s tricky to navigate. Especially since not all trans people have full reassignment surgeries. I know as their partner I was attacked and told I couldn’t identify as a lesbian because I was with a man. My spouse was told they weren’t truly trans because they chose to only have top surgery. My spouse (passed away)was constantly on edge regarding preferences and even just using a public bathroom. The day to day struggles seriously need to be de stigmatized and spoken about more openly. Being trans doesn’t mean you loose the right to choose what genitals do or don’t turn you on. I can’t imagine having to go thru the trauma of explaining what you do or don’t have in your pants while dating/meeting potential sexual partners. Can trans people being transohibic? Absolutely. Does having preferences make you transphobic ? No My late spouse was terrified I would leave. When we met they identified as lesbian. When we got engaged they came out as non binary. Right before we got married he came out as trans. We sat there and he cried and was shaking. No one should have to feel like that. And I had been very transparent from the beginning of our relationship that I loved them as a person … everything else was just body parts. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@sainttheresetaylor2054]

i’m so sorry for your loss ❤

[@AdamLove-me]

Sorry for your loss. And yeah as a trans man, Im not mad when my partner says they are a lesbian, though it does hurt my feelings sometimes how avid they are about it

[@mariannetfinches]

Sounds like true love. I'm so sorry for your loss. My wife had similar feelings opening up to me about wanting to present more masculine (no surgery, no pronoun changes) so I can only imagine how intense that must have been for him

[@IzzyTheLittlestJeep]

@@AdamLove-me your feelings are valid; but as someone who has been in the other side it can make us a bit defensive because to the entire world we look like a hetero couple (and it can feel like we are back in the closet) and it can mess with your head and emotions. Think about how you felt when you first came out and had to tell family and friends. From this side it can be really difficult. The best advice I can give is talk talk talk. You have to have open and honest communication. Believe it’s NOT always pretty and it’s not always what you want to hear but their feelings are valid too. They may feel like their identity is attacked or it may be messing with them that they are with a trans partner who for all intents and purposes is not what they may have pictured. It doesn’t mean they care for you any less. I hope that makes sense and sending lots of supportive hugs!

[@IzzyTheLittlestJeep]

@@mariannetfinches Thank you and it was. We always stood next to each other like pillars; a united front. It’s only been a few months so I’m navigating it. I’m glad you have been so supportive of your spouse. It warms my soul seeing couples that truly love eachother on a core level in what , for the most part, has become a very surface level and sometimes fickle dating/marriage society of confusing relationships/situationships, drive thru marriage and divorces.

[@gunselshaly537]

Good luck on this journey, Ashley! When it comes to, "I wish for a healthy baby." I never even think about things like limb differences, Down Syndrome, Autism, etc. I'm thinking about if they'll spend the first 5 years of their life in-and-out of a hospital. If they're coughing/shitting blood. If they have a deadly illness. Not that they could be a bit different.

[@spook6394]

I’m thinking Kaori from Your Lie in April. 15 years is not long enough.

[@circleofleaves2676]

"Lone and be hold"? My dude, it's "lo and behold". But seriously, congrats on getting your passport.

[@cael_aj]

Yeah but I'm saying "lone and be hold" from now on, because it's funnier 😂

[@B2Roland]

God damnit Missouri Dept of education

[@nicojones1139]

I’m a transmasc person and have thought about the issue of genital preferences a lot! Genital preferences are totally reasonable! Also, there is literally no way to know what genitals someone has without asking/seeing them. Refusing to date trans people out of the assumption that all trans people have a particular genital configuration, or tying gender to genitals is transphobic. But meeting someone, vibing with them, and then deciding not to engage with them sexually because their genitals turn you off is not. I think Alayna really hit the nail on the head with idea of disclosing something invisible around the 48:00 mark.

[@JuMixBoox]

I'm so proud of you, Mak! And it only took five days! It's like it knew you had already been waiting so long!

[@joy7367]

mac is right ashley definitely has a golden retriever side like did they all forget how much of a simp she is??

[@thedarknessherself3454]

but black cats can be all of those things too tho 😭

[@joy7367]

@@thedarknessherself3454 but i feel like she's got the earnest dedication of a puppy rather than the proud affection of a cat in that regard idk

[@queenofthenite]

maks passport edit was incredible

[@3Oh3metrostation]

I didn't think we would ever see the day but here we are!

[@carlotaj]

I have hEDS (hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome) with my disability being a autosomal dominant - I've truly want the best health possible for my kids. I don't believe wishing for your babies health to be ableist. (I also wish for more open conversations about EDS) I love this podcast! Thank you for providing a positive conversation about tough issues.

[@briannacruz2816]

I am blind and I don’t mind someone saying they want a happy healthy baby of course someone would. If I could choose, I would not be blind.

[@luxurypetscz]

emotional, hormonal, slightly depressed Ashley is my spirit animal

[@shobo4482]

ive been having a really tough time mentally rn, and watching this podcast immediately put a smile on my face. thank you for making my day a little easier, even if it's for just an hour

[@emilylynch7278]

As a disabled person, I don’t hope I have a Healthy child. I hope my child is healthy. And by healthy, I mean I hope my child is not in pain like I am in pain 24/7. I hope my child does not have a terminal illness and can live their whole life. I hope my child has an easy life but life is never easy. I hope my child gets to experience joy and hope and love

[@spook6394]

What is the semantic difference between “healthy child” and “child is healthy”

[@emilylynch7278]

@@spook6394I mean that as I would not be disappointed or sad if I had a disabled child versus a healthy child. I would love my child equally no matter the condition of their body or mind. Disabled child or healthy child describes more of their identity and an adjective for who they are in their being. Now I do hope that my child is not in pain. I hope they don’t go through hopeless, disappointing doctors appointments. I hope they don’t experience chronic fatigue. I hope they don’t experience all the societal effects of being disabled. Healthy is defined differently person to person and is a sensitive subject. I am not healthy. I am disabled. I love that about myself. I wouldn’t change it for the world. But I do wish the world was kinder and more accommodating. I wish that I had less pain. I wish I could eat the foods I’m allergic to. Some people would take those statements to mean that I want to be healthy. It’s just how people define health in a given moment. And you can hope to not have the symptoms while loving being able to identify as disabled.

[@nikehermann8517]

​@@spook6394 I would asume they're trying to say that they don't want the healthy part for themselves but for the child, meaning they would love a child with a disease or whatever just as much as a 'healthy' child (even tho maybe it would be more 'work' or whatever) but they want the child to be healthy so that the childs life will be easier. Hope this makes sense to you, english isn't my first language and also I'm just guessing obv.

[@spook6394]

@@nikehermann8517 i got all that, i just wonder about the semantic difference to them. Because i don’t want to offend someone, but I have no clue what the difference is even as a native english speaker. Thanks though. I would say “I want to have a healthy child” just as easily as “I want my child to be healthy.” The only difference I see is the first one implies you want them to be immediately healthy after birth, and the second implies you want them to be healthy throughout their life.

[@NotPMHarper]

Trans man here: In my opinion, genital preferences are not inherently transphobic just like any other preferences are not inherently predjudiced. Preferences CAN come from a place of prejudice, either conscious or unconscious, such as racism or transphobia but of course that should never override consent and people are ultimately allowed to discriminate how they want when it comes to sex and relationships. It’s a nuanced conversation. It really sucks if you’re taken out of the running by something you can’t control, especially if it’s something you’re already insecure or dysphoric about, but it is something you have to learn to deal with as a trans person (or anybody really). Of course, it can be additionally stressful for trans people since there is an element of danger when opening up about your trans status but, in this case, it seems like the best case scenario where the person rejecting the other is also trans so that’s not part of the conversation.

[@pkrygsman]

I'm Trans and sapphic so I'm kind of hyper-sensitive about the whole genital preference thing. I really think you all handled the conversation well. It's not cut and dried, but in the end people are allowed to be attracted to what they're attracted to. Compassion, communication, and open-mindedness are huge in those circumstances.

[@chellewadd3726]

Body doubling is life! Me and my sister clean as we face talk, it's more of a distraction from anxiety or demands. Focus can be so much better its great

[@dreastedman1979]

Living for “this is so Jacob and Bella right now” 🐺

[@gil8548]

"Why is there a picture of beans?" "Because the British" 😂 I'm feeling so appreciated 😄

[@elizabethrollo7827]

They’re going to be *very* confused first seeing ye ole Heinz BB 🫘

[@0olong]

But they're dry kidney beans! 😐

[@d3ndr0ph1l3]

36:15 I could listen to Mak talk in that voice the entire podcast. It tickles my brain for some reason, instant smile on my face lmao.

[@kapowjam3462]

How has Ashley's staff not seen young Ashley yet?!?! It's been an entire week 😁😆

[@Raddiebaddie]

I understand your concern with answering that question as a group of cis women but I will also say, trans people are not a monolith anyways so even if you had “a trans person in the room” you’re gonna get a range of responses depending on who that is. I think you guys did an excellent job discussing it AND being sure to included the perspective of a couple trans people just by reading aloud responses and discussions from your discord. Maybe not everyone agrees but I think you did a well rounded job of discussing something that actually matters in our community! 💖✨

[@yosoysoya7944]

Barely related but my psychiatrist has such a similar sense of humor to me and it's SO NICE. She will actually laugh at my self-targeted jokes and make similar ones herself (gentle, obviously) and it helps so much when discussing otherwise serious topics.

[@sergbastian5]

Why is the dynamic between you three SO GOOD?! Even your outro was so in-sync. Love it

[@esmeraldachavez6342]

the way i get so excited when i realize it’s wednesday and there’s a new episode out!!

[@notmyrealname550]

Did anyone else watch the entire Twilight series just to understand Mak's references

[@gio_isabella]

MAK you did it ! The video was adorable

[@gracebloome]

Here’s my perspective on the trans conversation- I started dating my ex when I was newly out and using the bisexual label, and he had just begun his FTM transition. I think I was genuinely attracted to him at first, but the more he began to “pass” and the more I grew in my own queerness, I realized I only felt sexual attraction to other women. I realized that in my baby gay naivety, I had really only been attracted to the feminine traits that he had before transitioning. I felt awful about this for a while, and tried to justify our relationship because the “mechanics” were the same as a wlw relationship. But in the end, I had to admit I just was not attracted to men, and he is a man. I think you can genuinely love somebody but still honor that attraction is complicated and important. ❤

[@cicisbridgers]

chosen family podcast should def reconnect again and do another climb-off 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼

[@meeravalpo]

The conversation about boob energy and how for some it’s not ideal was too relatable 😅

[@themorales6]

That line was AWESOME, Ashley!😂 “So, what’s happening here?” I would have loved that!

[@ROCKONplaceboforever]

The best thing about getting up at 6.30 am for work is this podcast i love you guys so much you make me smile 😊 and congrats dad

[@mommyissuesmusic]

So true about Body Doubling and Accountability Partners.

[@BrittanyRaeHof]

It was so great to see you in SLC Ashley! You’re a master of your craft. Congrats on your egg retrieval 🎉🎉❤

[@jwmprcht7273]

I read that modern dishwashers can measure the turbidity of the washing water during the process. And if the turbidity is too low due to previous rinsing the machine can't correctly calculate the amount of water neccessary to properly clean the dishes.

[@mariannetfinches]

This is so nerdy. I absolutely love it. Thanks

[@emmanuelleschultze6095]

I love body doubling, it helps me with school and work. Congratulations ladies for all your milestones, I wish all the best.

[@Aroren750]

I'm on the extreme end of ADHD when it comes to focusing. I can only focus on some tasks with a body double. I arrange for family to sit with me or pay someone to sit in my room with me.

[@loupelizzo2399]

Wishing Ashley the best for the future and I enjoyed the conversations in this podcast and simply loved it. You all made my day better with this podcast and thank you so much

[@Mariethechaotic]

36:52 yes! It's very common in the ADHD community, but I think also in the autistic community. I get far more done when my "work mom" is in our shared office with me.

[@janasheffield2230]

I love Alayna givng advice about ADHD and executive dysfunction while interrupting Ashley mid-sentence for the eighth time in this episode. 😂😂

[@3Oh3metrostation]

Ashley's eyes look amazing in this ep!

[@sierrafancher9958]

I’m glad that the podcast episodes are getting a little longer I love that hour format ✨

[@illusionhong18]

Young ashley looks so happy for dad news 🎉🎉🎉

[@rin5719]

Y'all dropped this right before I'm going to bed. Absolutely Furious. I will watch it tomorrow, goodnight family.

[@Raddiebaddie]

✨ sweet dreams✨

[@kaiya33123]

Mak's twilight references are so spot on😂❤ ALSO! Thank you for the info about not rinsing/washing dishes before putting them into the dishwasher!!💞🤩 This was such an amazing episode🥹🥹💞

[@PurpleHat026]

Love the beans, Mak, but those are the wrong beans 😂 It's Heinz baked beans in a tomato sauce that is a British staple

[@GrapefruitCat2]

Body doubling is amazing!!!! My adhd coach we will body double in a session to get stuff done for college and etc. it’s so less pressure

[@repacheap]

I love the pod, love the vibe, you lot are fantastic, good luck Ashley, congrats Alayna and Mak! I fucking detest that the volume of the ads is x2 as loud as the actual podcast.

[@8infinite8possiblities8]

Y’all are totally crushing it in 2024💪 oh and the boob energy section had me rolling 🤣🤣🤣

[@JanneBernards]

Conversations around unborn children's health can get crazy. Once had an argument with a women who claimed to be fully pro-choice, but also said you were a monster if you were to abort a fetus with health or developmental issues. Like, she was completely fine with abortion if a women wasn't financially or mentally ready for a child, but only if the fetus is healthy apparently. Chosing abortion because you aren't prepared to deal with a severely sick child, one way or another, was not done in her mind. The mental split here is just wild to me.

[@mariannetfinches]

I think there's so much nuance missing there, right? Like, aborting a wanted pregnancy because at 16 weeks you find a non-fatal disability, could be a sign that you don't know enough disabled people & have just assumed it's unmanageable. Equally (and depending on what support is available in your country), it could be that you can't afford to properly care for a child with complex needs. Or it could be a painful condition or one requiring lots of surgeries during infancy. I don't think any of us can claim to know what we would do if presented with that kind of situation, unless we've been there. I'm glad I wasn't aborted, but if I had been I wouldn't exist to have an opinion on it.

[@AKViiduh]

I love how alayna finds research for anything! Her body doubling research is justifying my ridiculous social anxiety actions! Thanks ms. Joy!

[@summerkennedy348]

I cannot talk about goals publicly because I get the satisfaction of a good job if they react positively. Anyone else do that?

[@datghettoazn127]

Technology connections goes in depth about how and why dishes need to be dirty before

[@karterHaz]

No but Ashley just made me realize how the birth control I have in my arm since September is the reason my confidence is gone

[@Mariethechaotic]

Mac, you obviously don't have to talk about this publicly but if you haven't been assessed for ADHD and/or Autism I really hope you do once you're settled because it can really help you understand your brain. I went through 17 years of school thinking I was "secretly stupid" because I didn't understand my brain didn't work the same way as a lot of my classmates. 30:15 as someone who is neurodivergent, adhd and probably autistic, and someone who has fibromyalgia, I personally am fine with people hoping they have healthy or even neurotypical children. I love my neurodivergent son and he wouldn't be him if he was neurotypical. However, I regularly want to unalive myself and if it wasn't for my son I probably would have by now and I don't want that life for him. I hope he didn't inherit my fibromyalgia, that's not being ableist to myself. I just don't want him to live in pain.

[@AuroraBears4]

My Spouse and I are trying to get pregnant right now! We have been struggling with the fact that most insurance options available to us have a rule saying they will not pay for treatment "if the problem is there is no sperm producing partner". $3k later and we have one vial to try. It is a damper on what should be an exciting time.

[@mariannetfinches]

That sounds like the kind of caveat that should be illegal. I'm so sorry. I hope your vial is successful!

[@stuffbyme]

This is such a good episode!

[@maheenahmad8497]

Chosen family getting their shit together in 2024 woohoo🎉🎉

[@_asantesana_squashbanana_]

I love our chosen family 💙

[@tiredwitch7449]

Hey, Ashley, if by chance you see this, it’s a little message for you. So I was watching one of your specials, even though I’m not a big fan of comedy, I’ve decided to give it a try, see some of your work. And I gotta say, it was so weird (in a good way) to watch you perform. I first saw you on youtube on this podcast, then your other podcast too. So I knew only this side of you. Watching you on stage was kinda like watching your parent at work. I felt like a little kid, just so proud and so curious to watch this new powerful side of your parent unbind before you. I liked your special very much, and I really appreciate all that you do. So yeah, thank you for being you and for being a parent figure/role model, you’re awesome ❤️

[@victoriaritch7572]

The way you guys are my body double. I aware of that bc I have raging ADHD I literally watch podcasts to have someone around when I clean as a stahm

[@Raddiebaddie]

MAK!! I had such a hold up when it came to renewing my passport and it reminded me every week that i still hadnt done it when you hadnt either 😂😂😂😂 i finally did it and you did too. YAY 🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@HSM10000Rocks]

That was so spot on 😂 25:07

[@alexwhitelaw2003]

dysabled people are not unhealthy they are just more let down and need more requirements. we want to wish health on everybody and this is crazy i would never think anyone was exclyding me when wishing tge best for their child. i hope that people start helping all babies be healthy with their required needs met always

[@swiftie4856]

Not Alaina falling in love with Ashley for a second 😭

[@goldbot6667]

Let's go mak, another day another victory for the OG

[@HaleyChartier]

Yes Ashley!!! I agree!! as someone who is both neurodivergent and has disabilities… i think it should be okay to say you want your baby to be born healthy and happy. When I think “born healthy” I think born without any serious health conditions that cause infant death or lessen my child’s life expectancy. You naturally want your baby to have the ability to live a long life!! I feel like any parent who’s been through losing an infant or child would agree that it’s awful and nobody want’s that or should wish for it… everyone wants their baby to be able to physically live a full and happy life, why is this considered ablest? I’m neurodivergent and have disabilities like I said but I’m still living life to the fullest and happiest as anyone else.

[@megancurtis9502]

I think preferences are okay within bisexuality as well. Like Alayna said, there's a huge spectrum of genitalia and people have different preferences. If you won't date ANY trans people and you're bi that's most likely transphobia, but I think it's ok to prefer post op trans women for example or whatever your preference is. Like they mentioned, the key is respecting trans people and navigating these issues with kindness.

[@Klosterhasi]

mak seems so sad she cant start the day playing with water anymore lolll

[@AlexandriaAday]

Birth control is what gives me sanity. My hormonal depression is out of control. I'm a happily married lesbian, and I can't imagine being off BC.

[@leolovsen1448]

Hellooo non-binary trans person here; I too am tired of "you're transphobic if..." being thrown around. As Alayna has said multiple times before "If something's not for you, it's not for you." And there's sooo many layers to a person, not just genitals, but physical appearance overall, presentation, personality, likes, dislikes, political views, personal interests, the list goes on and on and on and on. If you like someone, you like them, and if you like some things about them enough you will overlook the things you dislike (and might even come to like them as your relationship evolves just because it's a part of who that person is). With that said, yes, I agree that it probably is transphobic to reject someone just because they're trans, BUT if you are the rejected trans person would you really want to enter a relationship with someone that doesn't have the capacity to overlook/love your transness? And obviouslyyyy I am a single trans person out of all the trans people and I don't speak for everyone.

[@biscuitanne6770]

"so.... What's happening here?" Might need my new favorite thing lol

[@poppetanya]

I was about to lock myself in my office and take a nap. But nooo here is my family podcast. Waiting for dad to yell at me

[@alanaemily8970]

My dad just died so this title was really triggering you guys… In all seriousness this podcast and WHGS are the really getting me through rn❤️😂😂

[@mirandawatson99]

I want to disclose that as a bisexual person, strictly in a hookup situation, sometimes I'm not in the mood for one genital or the other, and I don't think that's transphobic. To me a woman with a penis isn't less of a woman, she's just a woman with a penis and sometimes I don't want that, in the same way that I'm not usually attracted to butches or very masculine men. I think It comes down to preferences. However, if I were to fall in love with someone, of course I wouldn't care what they have, because I am generally attracted to both, and then being them Will be the only factor I take into account.

[@kapowjam3462]

I also have a shark vacuum. It seems like Ashley hasn't heard of the brand. Alayna as well but I'm not sure if they are in Canada.

[@MandaPanda888]

Mak and I - both from Missouri - in unison “SHES FROM NEW YORK!” 😂😂😂😂

[@Idkmanjustgowithit]

whenever i start birth control i never notice any psychological effects. Ive started different birth controls 3 different times after some breaks and i only never notice positive effects except maybe slighlty increased acne in the beginning.

[@mariannetfinches]

I was really depressed the first time on birth control. The most recent 2 times I had no mental health effects. I was on SSRIs mind 😅

[@annabelapurva-madhuri4861]

I’ve always thought I’d like to have kids (or at least would consider it) if I could be the dad. Funny to hear it out loud from someone else 😅🩷

[@theszmek]

Jaime might be a good guest for this topic or Noah fince ??

[@ruben191]

I think when it comes to the genital preference question; there are few things that get meshed together tho they might better be kept separate. On the one hand there is the point of gender identity, then there is gendered appearance (fem or masc) and then there are the genitals. And in my opinion attraction can include or exclude any one of these. In my case my attraction isn't gender specific, neither do I care much about whether someones appearance is more masculine or feminin but I am very much not attracted to penises (and acutely not even to all vulvas). I believe that, since no one chooses what they are attracted to, there shouldn't be any shame or hostility around openly and respectfully communicating the things we are or aren't attracted to.

[@liamsudsy7563]

changing my life of dishwashing forever in the first 5 minutes. god i love this podcast

[@PalindromeLane]

as a transfem having a preference or attraction toward only one set of genitals completely fine what i will say is to maybe think about whether you are ready to date or sleep with trans or gender non conforming people if genitals, height, chest size, amount of body hair, etc. are strong preferences you have, you might not be able to offer a safe, positive experience to those of us who are very conscious of these differences already sex with people regardless of genitals has so many possibilities. i think open mindedness, good communication, and good self-awareness is crucial before you dive head first into the dating/sex pool, be aware of what you are looking for, as to not hurt other people 44:20 shoutout Ashley for talking to trans people, the part about what happens with hormones and being vunerable is so true

[@Rising_Pho3nix_23]

As a trans woman, here's my thought on the patreon question. I hope the person can read this. It is a huge wall of text. Having a preference for a body part is not the same as having an exclusion for the whole person. Let's say I was dating someone that had a strong preference for the privates that I don't have. I would want them to sit down with me and say something like "I like you and this isn't going to change. I have a preference for [insert body part]. If you don't have that, we can go from there. And if you do, perfect. This is not going to impact how I feel about you or what I think about you" Maybe they're asexual and the part only matters a very small amount. Maybe it's something they can work with. Maybe it's a make-or-break with them. We can't know until we talk. Communication is key and if we don't open up to our partner from a place of empathy and respect, there will always be resentment and insecurity. As long as your partner knows that it's not about them as a person, and only a preference to a particular body part, then it should be okay. They could have had the surgery already, they might not have. And there's no telling if they want the surgery at all. They could have an appointment with the surgeon next month. They could love the part they have. Just be open to their own autonomy and take it 1 step at a time. Look people can tell when you're coming at it from a place of respect. Plus, you should decide how strongly you prefer a particular part over another. For example are you repulsed by the other part or do you just want a certain type? Another thing to consider is, who are you dating? Are you dating a person, or are you dating what's in their pants? You need to also decide how important their privates are to the overall relationship? Nobody wants to be with someone who doesn't want to be with them. So just talk with your partner. Be respectful and honest. Listen to their side and tell them your side. And if you aren't a good match, then you can go your separate ways. And if they want to have surgery 3 years from now and you want sex now but don't like what they have, then maybe you can revisit the relationship at a later time. Similar to how people revisit relationships involving wanting kids or career or marriage.