damn girl that subconscious ain't playing around

hey! I have an insta. go follow it :) / melibee.art
I also have a substack... go peep babes!
melibeeart.sub...

[@twinkincarnate]

KZbin bro, thank you for recommending mainly small channels lately, the gems I'm discovering are quite literally life changing. This video has altered the way I perceive a lot of things, that may sound dramatic but I honestly don't care, it's true! 2024 has certainly been.. a year, to say the least, I am ready for change. Grateful for your art, in all it's forms

[@Ederna2523]

C’est dramatique

[@corncobbob2326]

"I've probably lived like 10 lives in 2024." This speaks to me with each section of the year I lived being more painful than the last. Hope 2025 is nice to you.

[@ٴٴٴٴٴٴٴٴٴٴٴٴٴٴٴٴٴٴٴٴٴٴٴٴٴٴٴٴۥ]

its because no ones authentic. just drowning in facades.

[@studentsteph]

nah bruh i may have stumbled across one of the greatest small youtube channels of all time full glaze

[@Av13408]

Small youtube is the best thing I've come across fr

[@filmkonstrukteur]

@@Av13408 Indeed!

[@musagiss]

My exact thoughts!

[@mmel420]

Ive been scared of making art for so long now. as a child, it came to me so naturally but as I grew up, I felt like I constantly had voyeurs, separate entities in my mind that I needed to appease when doing anything really. It was and is so crippling to feel like you're constantly being watched and judged even in private. I am so sick of my main motivation being to gain other people's attention; it has truly robbed me of living authentically. But I am working through it through therapy and slowly learning to just do things for the sake of doing them. This resonated with me so thank you for sharing!

[@louckasz2270]

I recommend reading "the creative act" by Rick Rubin, he describes the process behind art making so beautifully it might remind you of how natural it was to do as a child. It certainly made me get into it again without being as harsh on myself :)

[@ikuroineko3533]

Gosh I feel exactly the same as you, art was second nature for me when i was younger but suddenly i couldn't do it anymore and i still have a hard time grabbing a pencil. It feels so daunting, idk

[@MilkForASnack]

I record myself talking about dreams. I have maybe 200 and a half or so now. I slowed up a bit. Funny, often I really get a better feel on how it fades from memory. Like "some guy with my voice is talking about something I don't remember" And sometimes...it is an utter bore to listen to! And other times, it is just something fun to do.

[@foogriffy]

ive kept dream journals on and off for about 5 years. i think this basic habit alone can, without any effort beyond curiosity, change a person for the better. it's introspection made fun and trippy

[@melibeeart]

I have like 20 incredibly vivid dreams that I can remember from throughout my life but recently I’ve been having more of them so I decided to write all of them down 🤓 it’s fun to record the little stories our brains feed us when we’re sleeping trying to process our experiences

[@hydrophobicbathtowel6816]

@@MilkForASnack writing helps solidify memory. You may have a stronger connection if you write rather than record. I can remember full dreams from ten to twenty years ago just by writing down bullet points.

[@alexchipka6126]

I wanna do it in theory but if I wake up I'm usually tired and just wanna go back to sleep lol

[@MilkForASnack]

@@hydrophobicbathtowel6816 Heck yeah! I forgot about my written ones! They are more fun to read than to listen to the recordings also. But sometimes the dream seriously starts fading right when I wake up so I must hurry!

[@hystericaltears]

i started dream analyzing some months ago. reading man and his symbols by jung currently.. seeing the imagery our unconscious creates is so surreal. trying to derive meaning from the obscure symbolism is also fun

[@hystericaltears]

something i love is being in my waking life and seeing a motif/object irl and being transported back to a certain dream. like no one else has ever seen this, so sacred

[@Nobody-Nowhere]

Self-analysis is impossible, dreams are exactly there to cover up egodystonic desires. So you end up analyzing them exactly to be something egosyntonic. There are no universal symbols in dreams that you could just easily analyze. In 1890 Freud wrote the book The Interpretation of Dreams. That might be much more interesting than Jungs stuff.

[@hystericaltears]

@@Nobody-Nowhere while dreams can cover up those desires they arent that shallow and go much deeper. Of course ive had dreams so absurd I can't seem to deduce a message. But there are others who show me something I need to pay more mind to in an esoteric way. Sometimes the meaning comes to me months after, and those symbols you speak of, are hard to analyze. Dream analyzing isnt easy, but it can certainly be done. Jung points out in the book he disagreed much with what Freud believed about dreams. Jung took them for something much deeper and meaningful and so do I. I'll have to read that book eventually to see another take on the meaning of dreams, thanks for the rec

[@commenteroftruth9790]

@@Nobody-Nowhere self analysis is impossible? wild statement.

[@Metamerist625]

Oooh man that is a GREAT book, I read it years ago and still think about it.

[@tana-gusto]

this was the tipping point for me, you really made me feel i could just share my thoughts and find people who would be interested/resonate. thank you for the push

[@emilyawood]

I love this. We need more artists explaining their thought process rather than just a mechanical tutorial or an image without context. We used to value books about the way of famous artists and if you know how to search archives they’re still out there, but social media has really stripped that from us. You’ve proven that social media can be an incredible tool to leverage and I’m grateful that you aren’t afraid to use it.

[@theboringbiker]

Approaching art autonomously is truly an honest approach, I feel the same for music

[@JuanGil-c6n]

it only works if you have some foundation in art/music, otherwise you can't convert it into something valuable. the autonomous approach draws from the chaos, which you then give form and refine, its in the refinement that you see the beauty of it come out.

[@Eikorunu]

wdym autonomously?

[@unsupremebeing1113]

I aspire to be as thoughtful and creative as you. It's so soothing yet captivating to hear your perspectives on things. It's comforting, even when your thoughts are maybe a little twisted lol

[@melibeeart]

👁️‍🗨️👁️‍🗨️

[@eyes1168]

THE SONG IN THE BEGINNING IS SO GOOD HOLY SHIT

[@DIYDSP]

yeah is that this lady's band? what is that band!

[@thaisramos7330]

@@DIYDSP its a band called "slow pulp" and im pretty sure the song playing is "high"

[@dirkeldritch4880]

yes, the song is High, by slow pulp! :-)

[@ella-th1hx]

i never leave comments but i loved this video. for any readers seeing this i'd recommend the manifestos of surrealism by andre breton. i believe he wrote it in the 1930s (ish) and wanted to highlight the importance of the imagination, subconscious, and dreams. eg. he criticises a lot of fiction for being too literal, by describing scenes in immense detail and leaving little room for creative interpretation (influenced by the subconscious). he also wrote one of my fav novels called nadja, which really embodies this dream-like state

[@viagracey]

watching this on ketamine and this shit is wild yo

[@hairyballbastic8943]

be careful bruh

[@formlessdivinity]

be safe

[@lil_nut420]

That's wild af😂

[@hydrophobicbathtowel6816]

Kettle corn?

[@hairyballbastic8943]

I wasn't able to type this earlier but please quit while you're ahead there are better drugs out there that won't crystalize in your kidneys

[@SquamataReptile]

Thank you for adding your own subtitles, I love when people do that. Also, this video is awesome. Very creatively inspiring for me and your voice and demeanour is so cool. I hope you have a good day.

[@magnuserror9305]

Dreams are windows into how we both perceive and interact with the world. But not on some cosmic deeper level. I for instance have played video games my entire life, and as such my dreams have video game mechanics in them. Such as saving and pausing, as well as feeling a controller in my hands sometimes. I also find that dreams allow you to understand the many selves that define you. They're not subconscious, they're conscious. Its just that while awake you dont naturally separate. But in dreams you can, as well as when your under the influence of certain drugs, like shrooms.

[@beni6989]

I feel like the chosen one having this mythical video recommended to me. I’ll be thinking about it a lot.

[@hussainshah5868]

going through a similar creative exploration. life can be so crazy sometimes. I like your art and style of video. It felt really comforting to watch someone experience similar themes in their own life

[@syed4194]

maybe what the teacher meant was that dont be limited by dark art or tormented art, dont fetishize ur sadness. u have this creative energy try other emotions , u do make great abstract art, dont limit urself

[@sunnyjim6077]

this is a gem, loved how the jump cuts and how you spoke added to the atmosphere when you talked about your dreams. and your art is really involved too.

[@gunnargrubbs3123]

This is one of my favorite KZbin channels. Love throwing a new upload on while doing the dishes. Everything you discuss is very relatable to me and validating to hear. Thanks for sharing 🤍

[@GrayBaker-ck9qt]

this video goes hard, my dreams have become super vivid the past couple weeks, and I think I'm going to start documenting them in someway also the drawings are dope af

[@impe001]

3:04 this is called Pareidolia, it is common to everyone but some people do recognise faces where there isn't because they have a higher sense of this human pattern recognition, or you have magic powers idk. but in my opinion having magic power is cooler so you should start doing ritual and stuff, one life.

[@darkplague1207]

I used to draw the shadow people i see at the couner of my eyes now i only really draw myself and to see someone like you is very refreshing, thank you for sharing

[@jay.p.w]

Im halfway through my first year of art college and I have to say, the way you talk and work and express your thoughts makes me feel less alone and unusual. This year has been so brain expanding but "living multiple lives " is such a beautiful way to put it. Thank you ❤

[@Just_Beboy]

Thank you for posting this very HUMAN video. Just stream of consciousness and the empty bits left behind. Your introspection has been contagious and I'm glad KZbin recommended this to me. Two years ago I was in such a similar era, asking the questions that you're asking and pursuing the intricacies of myself. I don't know what happened to that me, and now I'm wondering why I stopped.

[@amayz111]

These last few weeks have slowed right down as i am tuning back into my body and im not so much trying to survive the day by day expectations and checklists. I am really enjoying loosing myself inmy own thoughts and It really makes me happy. This really spoke to me, thank you for sharing with us :)

[@colorblockpoprocks6973]

ofc being dissociative doesnt help, but it feels like... idk, I was around for all of 2024. it dragged on. i finally held down a job the whole year, paid my bills on time every time. but, every now and then, there are like... days, weeks, where time feels like it stands still as I try to work everything out. even when it doesnt. the world around me periodically seemed to stop existing so i could breathe. so i could think. and it felt lonely during those times, yet so serene. kind of scary, but reinvigorating at the same time. it would be like i lived a whole year of clarity in those couple of days, suddenly more equipped than last week to handle the daily trials, when time resumes and it all marches forward. the year felt like it went by in the blink of an eye, as long as i'm looking at the parts that i'm not currently in. introspective moments feel everlasting when i'm in them, but brief and hard to remember when back in the slog. somehow i feel like i lived multiple years within 2024, but nested inside each other in a way that doesnt breach containment of the calendar dates???

[@kittykjb]

saw slow pulp in london last year. was my first concert & an absolutely surreal experience

[@chiipfunk]

This video helped me ease the stress and spiraling-induced tension that's all around my eyes, in my jaw, and the headache that's been boiling behind my forehead. Thank you ★

[@TheVoltDenatsu]

"A shower with someone you are not fond of" Means That by consequence or by circumstance you and someone you disagreed with will be cleansed by realizations at the same time

[@qhost_qu]

i love the style of which you edit this video in. very unique, truly something ive never really come across before.

[@DepressedLaughter]

This is one of those channels you're ecstatic to get in early on, where you binge each of the videos already released

[@SnowflakesOfLove]

You speak about things I ponder about but can't put into words. subscribed :)

[@waitwut20]

one of the most insightful videos I've seen. thank you for documenting it!

[@rad37458wimps]

when sugar for the pill came on at the end i gasped, i love ur energy

[@voidnoire7256]

Thanks for sharing this. You're my kind of person. I hope you keep doing your thing dude, you're making the world a more beautiful place to be in with your art.

[@PavitrM.]

I feel your pieces so much, I'm working towards becoming a better artist and I hope the windows into my mind are as thoughtful and striking as yours.

[@09.dixitarnavshriram40]

do whatyou makes you happy girl, luv ur art

[@haydens4449]

You click on a random video and suddenly your obsessed in the first 30 seconds

[@rosemadelynvlogs]

Instantly subscribed. Art is so amazing and I've been in kind of a creative block for a really long time. I stopped making my own KZbin videos, I stopped writing songs, I basically have a hard time believing in myself anymore. But I really want to search deeper into myself to discover what I can truly do with my creativity that I know Is still there. I also went to see Slowdive in November! It was one of the most beautiful moments of my year just hearing the music go straight to my soul 💗

[@Av13408]

This past month so much has just hit me like a brick and I'm questioning everything yet again so thanks for sharing this! Glad I came across this

[@AnnaSol_0]

when i clicked on this i did not expect it to start with slow pulp my fav band!!! let alone be so amazing ?? love this

[@backprints]

i love being able to experience other peoples experiences thank you :)

[@garfieldsmaryjane]

2024 has been a lonnggggg year of dreams, roots from buried memories unveil in mine now

[@darrellsimon8596]

Yoga is a physical practice that prepares you for uncomfortable positions physically. This transfers into the mind and can help quiet it at the same time. Give it a shot. I haven't done yoga for awhile, but I should get back to it!

[@buzyparticals3753]

Your subconscious looks rad

[@MCracknell]

I super agree with the 'longest year of my life', everything just seemed to drag on and on whilst everyone around me sped past.

[@TheCosmicCinem4]

This video inspired me to create art more than everything else ive seen on here. Thank you :)

[@brendangrieshaber9886]

Unbelievably fire video, have been thinking about doing these things for a while, very inspiring

[@brendangrieshaber9886]

It’s a little hard tho, cuz I’m not even a little “good” at any form of art, all I’ve ever been good at is sports and math. Tho there is much art in these things as well, it’s hard to use them as form of self expression. Interestingly though the way I attack problems in math and scenarios in sports do bear a lot of similarities to how I react in the rest of my life. Much to think about, but excited to become less “bad” at art

[@pliktl]

yo~ i like the way you express. imma stick around and listen to you babble because it lets my brain open up. i like that you don't stick to a singular string of consciousness (because who the eff actually thinks on a singular track?) and just go with the flow. flow is one of the trickiest things to get into, and you are a natural. i hope to own one of your pieces in the future.

[@capristone]

im very inspired by this video.. im so jealous that you got to see slowdive! i love how you edited your video to the concert audio, i also did that in one of my vids! it feels more like im experiencing your moment. this makes me want to paint my dreams - i had one very vivid one in an expansive pink desert while it was pouring rain, there was a volcano erupting in the distance with giant white birds flying from it to come eat me alive. im not sure what meaning that has but it may be worth it to explore :) keep making what you make

[@beet311]

i love the intro i come back to it every few days

[@mariogariazzo2024]

This was a great video, I too feel like I've lived 10 lives in 2024. And this is a great thing, I felt like I was stagnated through my whole adolescence (I'm 20yo) and just half of last year to now i'm actually putting myself to the test, doing whatever I feel will make me grow as a person, trying to become responsible for myself.

[@ChristmindSKY]

Your artwork is like the artwork in my head but never seen someone actually make it.

[@SunsetJuju]

thank you for sharing this. i think this will help a lot of people understand a little bit more about themselves, introspectively.

[@myrto3494]

this is an incredible video, and you really verbalize a lot of things that i feel. also your art is really good !! and i really aspire to be as contemplative as you are

[@katherinequinnfilms]

I always feel so enlightened by listening to your thoughts

[@Evelyndijkstra]

You are inspiring. The pieces you made with letting go and be more in the flow are lovely

[@blueandmoodyart]

so so inspiring. this video has made me want to challenge my own creative process. thank you for this.

[@waltz45621]

thank you for sharing your art and your journey, I feel less alone

[@Milizavalia]

This felt like poetry I assume you know patti smith but idk it reminded me of her as a poet/performance very beautiful

[@chucky29949]

they dont want anyone to know, but you can just build a subwoofer/buy an amp and feel chest shaking bass whenever u want my recurring dream from childhood was coming upon a traincrash, looking through it and seeing a goblin-like figure with a glowing white-green egg. Always seemed a bit evil like the train was keeping it contained and now its going to spread... anyways lol nice video

[@moonk990]

3:22 same!! But the year went unimaginably fast

[@clairharvey]

So good. Loved every second

[@o7_matt]

holy fuck i love your art, the way you colour shit is acc so magnificent it heals my soul

[@j_j8758]

You are so creative and beautiful. Glad I stumbled across this

[@dygpnth]

this is awesome. love sugar for the pill

[@carlosdd5]

this video makes me feel a very strange kind of way I love it

[@ArksMirror]

True work of art, thank you for this

[@jonathanbergendahl7517]

Thank you for sharing. Beautiful. Good luck on your journey.

[@Riverio]

I think i may have just found my new favourite youtuber!

[@ChristmindSKY]

Damn girl, you a whole rockstar 😍

[@TomoyoTatar]

2024 was hell; I need to start putting myself in uncomfortable places. The art you said you would scan is beautiful imo. ❤

[@nancycortez2399]

this was not for me at the mood i’m at right now, but i’m glad i watched the whole thing.

[@BeanzzaYT]

I do a lot of portrait art, I also am constantly seeing faces that aren't faces, and yet I've never made art of faces that aren't faces. OMG, I'M SO DUMB!!!!!!!... Thank you for the inspiration. ❤

[@Chalie_Sheel]

The art is amazing and I'm really interested in the dream analysis. In the past I ruled dreams out as being related to the subconscious but I never really analyzed them maybe I'll give it another try.

[@russellwiitala9733]

I like that you aren’t a drone like the majority of humanity. But that is the both the blessing and curse of the artist.

[@sravasaksitam]

whoa bro those upside down ms are so cool

[@cykes5124]

Dreams are not "subconscious". Dreams often don't mean anything. They mean whatever you want to give them, even infinity. Thats why you can get lost in it.

[@DuskyLore]

Years definitely feel longer when documentation of some kind takes place throughout the year itself. I've been keeping a year log since 2008; I write down anything new or interesting that happens to me---and sometimes put a specific date on it too if it _really_ sticks with me.

[@AlfredSoul]

I love this art and the process that leads to it. I find myself exploring my dreams and abstract memories for art as well.

[@TalTallying]

Love love love this. BUT!! as someone who lost their brother to this, I pray to you, LISTEN, do not self-analyse. Otherwise you'll fall pray to what Jung himself did, youll sprial and spiral until theres nothing left. Make art, put your impulses and symbols into an otherness and make note, or rather, have an awareness of these things but do not analyse. That is how we lose ourselves. Make art, journal, and then talk to someone about it and when you need to heal, see a professional you can guid you through the process and if you truly desire ego death, follow the guidelines in place so that we do not fall prey to our curiousity. Other than that I love the way you presented this video and the ideas you're exploring. You are so far ahead of everyone else. Keep learning 🧡

[@marezine7890]

Maybe it's the way you edit your videos, but something about the way you talk. It's just giving the teenager in a surreal horror story. The way you don't have any pauses, in your speech, there is no time to breathe. It's just an experience. It's almost like you don't need to breathe. Trying to move along to tell us everything. Definitely sends the message home. Very nice video, very interesting thought process

[@alang.bandala8863]

Now THIS is art

[@lalaland2107]

Oh, I like these kind of videos! Also, super cool that you jot down your dreams. I wish to do that, but I forget them so quickly unless they are super vivid and realistic, which are rare. God bless! ❤❤❤

[@marshansiah]

instant like! I also enjoy making art automatically / intuitively

[@Vega_Reflex]

Having my toughest times in a life and this pure bliss appeared on a main KZbin page Thank you

[@misterboyo4785]

glad you’re posting again 🫶

[@oivamattila4108]

i fw this heavy

[@ScoundrelousMoose]

I totally relate on the ten lifetimes in one year feeling, but we're grateful in the end, right? Commonplace notebook has saved my sanity, hope it serves you well!

[@Magikat3]

My freshman year of college I had an art foundations prof look at me and tell me that I reminded her of Sadness from Inside Out. I also didn’t know how to take that 😩

[@daymare0]

This video feels like a poem

[@cleogreene-rd6lz]

Im just starting my journey of putting myself in uncomfortable situations and im scared for what 2025 is going to look like. My 2024 has been so insightful so far. Ive learnt so much about myself but ive also done way too many drugs.

[@zee2105]

what a beautifully honest video..

[@Maria-xe1hy]

Slowdive concert! (Incredible video, i love your mind)

[@bododird]

rare slow pulp appreciator

[@methheadmelodics1997]

Do you by any chance know the name of the slow pulp song in the beginning?

[@bododird]

@@methheadmelodics1997 High :]

[@hanshanson7156]

Its so freaking strange to basically find a copy of myself, the only difference being another gender. Like so surreal, I basically had the exact same thoughts some time ago. I gotta sit down after this one ngl

[@pretzz3l]

this is the typa stuff that goes viral ten years after it gets posted (saying this in a very positive way)

[@Sean_Jaggers]

Seeing faces in patterns can be paradolia

[@Ah_Leckxs]

How'd u do the color effect @ 0:17?

[@Asiofed]

Idk about her but it's a filter on Capcut asw