Dan Savage on What to Expect From a Gay Roommate

[@rmcdaniel423]

Back in the dorms, in the 80's as a hetero guy, the best roommate I ever had was a gay guy. He was sensitive to relationship stuff and gave good honest advice. He opened my world to new interesting music. He kept the place clean (not freaky clean, but appropriately clean) and would even make my bed if I forgot. He gave good grooming/style advice (I quickly realized that attractive is attractive, regardless which gender is looking at me). And I NEVER felt threatened, because I knew that even if I WAS gay, I wasn't his type. If you're out there Alex, thank you. I'm a better straight guy for having spent a year with you.

[@dazpatreg]

Man I think you might have friend zoned your mate. Poor dude was probably wishing you'd notice him

[@judymcfricklesteinbregferg3750]

rmcdaniel423 "would even make my bed if I forgot" He wanted you deep inside him.

[@littlekiwi9724]

mcdaniel423: That is the nicest KZbin comment! When I told my roommate I was gay he moved out, which hurt at first - but then I realized I had the room to myself!

[@johniii8147]

dazpatreg Don’t assume that. I had a similar situation with a college roommate. Now on never made his bed but first Str8 guy I could feel totally comfortable around and we really looked out for each other. There was 0 sexual attraction with each other. It would have been like banging your brother

[@heathersaarela552]

@@dazpatreg That attitude is so part of the problem. Just because someone is nice to you - guy or girl- does not mean they want to get in your pants. And assuming that just because a gay guy was nice to a straight guy, he was trying to, is why many straight guys say they're uncomfortable. Just like every girl isn't into you, every gay guy isn't into you either. Stop saying that.

[@sdarms111]

Dammit I wish I was as good a public speaker as Dan. He makes his points so well, salted with a ton of humor that keeps the audiences engaged. He's a really bright guy.

[@Julianakun]

Dan's adorable. I can't stop watching this clip because of the "fierce, fierce, pose" dance.

[@saramartins95]

"fierce fierce pose" . i just know im going to have that on my mind for the next few days

[@rmcnulty2]

I love your "lectures" I wish you were around touring when I was at college :)

[@beccyjoe]

of all the people ive never met i love you more than anyone dan savage, so funny and so wise

[@Ongarukat]

*hugs* This is awesome. Thank you for pointing out how annoying the "flamers" are--if the best someone can do is act out a stereotype, they shouldn't be surprised that everyone else in the room is avoiding them.

[@littlekiwi9724]

The roommate is young and still finding himself as a gay person. One day he'll look back on it in embarrassment.

[@lilyt99]

I agree about Dan's point on voices. My voice has always been somewhat low for a female, and I often make it high pitched when I first meet people or when I am nervous, but naturally my voice is fairly low pitched. Though when I sing, I sing in a higher pitch. It's kinda confusing, but I'm bisexual, so there you go. I always had friends who are male and female, and feel like at both times, they didn't truly get me nor I truly got them. I'm just extra different. Thank goodness for my bi friends.

[@heykaybee3]

Dan Savage, you're epic.

[@dragoncomunity]

ooh,thank you!:) came straight from the heart!

[@TrueSoreThumb]

Re-upload with the fixed, re-synchronized audio!! ahhhh!!!

[@MegaSK21]

What Dan slips into the ballot box is his business.

[@westlin3]

I had a gay roommate, I didn't realize he was gay until second semester.

[@happeningfish77]

"An inch of gay frosting on a foot-thick straight cake" is my new favourite thing ever.

[@rtfirefly0]

I think he was talking about people who came out at 20 but were still acting like they did when they just came out 10 years later, not people who had only just come out when they were 28 and were waving the flag for the first time.

[@leqaf]

Dan looks cute when he does the fierce fierce pose.

[@MiSSAlPACiNO]

I'm a female and had a gay male roommate, let me say not all gay men are clean like I assumed. The bathroom was a harsh realization. But I still love my GBF! & was the best roommate I ever had.

[@ErikWithBrain]

@welaughindoors91 I think he saw through the question to see that it was really about fear and not just curiosity. "omg what do I do? he's super gay!" not "hey I don't really know many gay people, what sort of things should I expect behaviorwise?"

[@Menagerie_K]

I'm a woman with a deep voice. I tried to soften it for like a day in high school but it's too deep and people noticed the shift. Oh well, to this day, people still call me sir on the phone.

[@bobbymuddymud3610]

I had a gay roomate once... it was awful. Not because he was gay, mind you, but because he was a rude, arrogant bitch. ...and I was so cool to him. I didn't complain or even flinch when he stayed up late having a tickle-fight with some strange dude... mind you this was a one-room dormitory.

[@sammypuro9392]

Lol

[@mrmadness2699]

on behalf of gaydom, I'm really sorry you had a gay shitbag for a roommate.

[@ahtartersauce101]

Hes gay very gay. Has a husband. Grew up Catholic. Head of "It gets better" project. Very high-profile type. In the FRC and Tony Perkins face all the time hes serious [serius] black.

[@Ongarukat]

Yes, but there's a huge difference between people who are stereotypically gay because that's who they are, and people who act that way because they think it's how gay people "have" to act. It's important for everyone to evaluate his/her own personality and be him/herself. You can't be yourself if you're hung up on what's "expected" of you. That's what I mean by "act out a stereotype"--they're so focused on the stereotype, they never bothered to discovered their true selves.

[@Roxxi33]

is it just me or is the audio completely out of sync?

[@DeadButBreathing]

@nosferatudasvampir I disagree. Many valid points he has. Who would you prefer to listen to?

[@h3art5d3struct]

it must be your computers.. audio is synced when i watched.

[@lasalle1alpha]

does Dan have any videos about the "Gendering" in homosexual relationships? y'know, that instances where people ask "who's the Man" in a gay relationship?

[@ccm800]

"Expect a lot of hair care products with pubic hair on them HAHHAHAAAA"

[@doobiesmoke15]

LORDY, he has to be the funniest sex expert on the planet!

[@dragoncomunity]

he's my new god! from now on you'll hear me say "oh my dan!!" get ready people!

[@johnmmn2]

obviously. that's why he's speaking so confidently about gay identity.

[@maarakailet1]

@sillykatz I'm still not sure what I did that made them say that. It could have been just throwing words around to spiteful, because I don't consider myself particularly masculine. That being said, my mother tries *very* hard to make me more feminine. The make-up, the dresses, the girly movies... *shrug* This is what happens with a one-size-fits-all mentality.

[@skullface1818]

Side note: he also missed 3 payments to me for electricity, told the front office that I was a maniac and had to be moved from his apt, and when he asked me to go to a new apt and said he would help me move......well yea...no help I was glad to get rid of him in all honesty even tho he really got the better half of that deal being gay had nothing to do with it of course. He was just kind an asshole :P

[@Marquis-Sade]

The word pathetic...he said that with "the gay voice" ^^

[@bluepinkyellogreen]

I

[@skullface1818]

my first roommate was gay, but that wasn't the problem. The main problem was that he was a massive neat freak, and he liked to take anything I left in the living roommate and dump it in my room when I didn't lock my door, and when I did he would dump my stuff in front of my door I'm not the cleanest dude in the world but this got real old real fast He was also massively in the closet and tried to keep it a secret from me tho it was rather obvious that his bf was living in the apt with us :P

[@MrSeismotronik]

Audio synch ruins everything

[@sillykatz]

This is true! I mean that. I just came out as lesbian three weeks ago and though I do admit that I'm not super gay ( I would bone Johnny Depp, Sacha Dhawan, David Tennant and Matt Smith, look them up) I am still super duper proud and trying to figure this all out! I'm learning a lot and I really do believe that when ever you come out, no matter what it is, it's like you are going through puberty again! That's how I'm feeling, like I'm going through gay puberty!

[@anthonyzamacona]

thank you

[@weasel945]

I imagined Scott Pilgrim.

[@jessica501skaff]

Dan Savage for president...pretty please?

[@tescheurich]

One could say, this has aged badly. It's good practice to not bother with judgment, to use the historian's skills and ask what's changed and what that means

[@shockwavecg]

I can't hit the 'like' button enough for your comment!

[@rtlinson]

Such a gay intonation to his voice.

[@robsgamingchannel2077]

Well, he is gay

[@rtlinson]

Rob's Gaming Channel No. He's not only gay, but he has an effeminate voice. To be beaten out of him.

[@alanfournier3071]

+RogerGT Yea, and I guess you're the "man" to do it. You don't even have the balls to use your own name.

[@rtlinson]

Alan Fournier You stupid idiot...

[@sazji]

He is gay and he is married.

[@specialk1988]

I have to say, I tend to think there's nothing wrong with really camp gay guys even if it is an affectation. What is being super macho but an act of a different flavour? It's all an act, all learned behaviour of some sort, and the denigration of camp guys is patently a power play thing.

[@Redst100]

FIERCE FIERCE POZ

[@castodivo]

It not just you. I wish "dansavage" would fix it -- especially with all the gesticulating funness!

[@Marquis-Sade]

Hm, funny how he talks about, how some gay man have a high voice, while his voice is totally no-high (even though it's not deep, but just normally man-ish) ^^

[@choam1971]

Queen Mary floating in a tub of lube. love it!

[@sillykatz]

@maarakailet1 people drive me crazy sometimes. I feel that I am a lesbian because I don't want to date a man or be with a man romantically, but I do think some guys are hot. I get hell from my gay friends for that, even they have that one size fits all mentality, so sad!

[@rocco420]

@happeningfish77 "queen mary floating in a tub of lube."

[@BlackJacketJones]

fuck-damn i like this guy

[@maarakailet1]

@sillykatz LOL

[@dragoncomunity]

true

[@A3roboy]

out of sync?

[@XiaoGui17]

@berkati Japanese, German, and Indonesian? Seriously, wtf? And what are you rattling on about, anyway?

[@drrnfl]

he's married to a man. that's why you see a wedding ring on his hand. looks like we cracked the case, nancy drew.

[@mainerblainer1]

lol thats true.

[@CGH2366]

I love u dan :p

[@purplestarfish90]

@squamish4244 I know what you mean. My sister's new husband is exactly the type of 28-year-old overgrown fratboy Dan is talking about... His only interest (literally) is beer and he has a "man cave" full of pictures from Playboy magazines. He's not attractive either, so no one can understand what she sees in him.

[@jboy4023]

That's not nice.

[@Hakakuno]

What the fuck?

[@TomCatFromMA]

Troll

[@sillykatz]

@maarakailet1 BRING IT ON!!! LOL!!! Just joking, we can take turns with David Tennant!

[@oxymoronic12]

wow, not funny...

[@Lacoux]

: )

[@A3roboy]

out of sync?