Daughter blocked me from attending her wedding, so I Canceled the Wedding Venue I Paid For

[@anthonycastlin1141]

Marrying a woman who didn't want her father to come to a wedding he was paying for should have been a major red flag on what kind of person she is.

[@immapotato1]

considering she basically didn't contact OP other than to ask for money she probably lied the entire relationship. he was probably told her "abusive" father offered to pay to make up for being shitty then turned on them last minute.

[@MrBeevee5]

Yes, Matt was stupid to do so.

[@mainegardenguy703]

Yeah, the b's new fiancee/hubby is ignoring major red flags. Marriage won't last more than 3 years.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Yeah he got a red flag waved in his face but he was too stupid to see it.

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@MrBeevee5 Op is her father, matt is just a dumbass simp.

[@ogrehaslayers605]

Canceling the wedding venue was awesome! 😂

[@pezlover1974]

Fake story. Venues are prepaid months in advance. No way would they cancel one day before the wedding and without confirming with the wedding party. Made up story.

[@rosethompson8051]

⁠Right at the beginning he said that he didn’t get all of his money back because it was prepaid

[@bakedandbeaded]

@@pezlover1974 No shit they’re made up, holy shit, they ALL ARE, GENIUS. However. Even made up stories have some truths in them and you can 100% cancel the day before because nothing is set up. 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@Springfield2016]

Amazing that her mom abandoned her at a young age to leave with another man, yet she hates her father for remarrying 5 years later. That is some twisted logic. Eva will never be a happy woman until she resolves her mommy issues.

[@Mew_Mokuba_Akari]

Not the first time. I heard a story like this. The other day where the daughter hated her father, stepmother and step and half siblings. Dad had custody as mom was more focused on her new man and new twins. Yet she loved the mom and twins even though stepfather disliked her and didn't want a non blood related kid around. She still wanted to be with them.

[@kevinsullivan2153]

It's easy to hate the nearby parent, and idolize the parent who is not around. This is especially true if the child has selfish and irrational tendencies, but we're all guilty of this to some extent. "Logic", twisted or otherwise, is not what people use to make decisions.

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

Could be the BIo Mom could see and sense that there was something seriously mentally wrong with her child. A true NARCISSIST, is not your typical spoiled brat that has been over indulged by their parents. A true NARCISSIST is MENTALLY ILL, they are born that way, not made.

[@05dturner]

Her mother abandoned her, then her father brings around a new woman when she's only 13? How did he not see a problem? The op doesn't seem very self aware.

[@peacewithyou6341]

Oooh your puppy, I'm melting 😍

[@sableghost]

With the way the mom vanished, I get the feeling Eva inherited a lot of her issues from her mother.

[@Dave_of_Mordor]

The father is definitely hiding something here. There is no way in hell his daughter hate him his much for these reasons

[@leoSaunders]

reading this comment and one other one by @NighDarke: this comment section is super smart. yea she's unhinged but also the father's at fault. I knew they were loaded when he said "she couldn't enter because the gate was closed" probably one of those electrical big ones too and that was me thinking this before I heard export business and generational wealth. his parenting style and her partial mom's genetics unfortunately made for a very bad combo. Feel bad for them all, at least there seems to be some happy ending.

[@M.Campbell-Sherwood]

Then her father ships her off to her aunt… That’s another abandonment. It also doesn’t sound like the second wife knows what she’s talking about, saying she’ll grow out of it as she gets older. I have to wonder if she’s really a school psychologist/psychiatrist or one of those school counselors with just a sociology degree. If she actually is licensed she shouldn’t be. It’s shameful, that as a trained professional she didn’t recognize it, when that’s her job… The girl had obvious signs of being troubled due to her mothers lack of heart from the start. She may have even held her father and the new wife responsible. Any real Psychologist/Psychiatrist would have said to put her into therapy, immediately. I find it very odd that she didn’t. It’s also possible that she thought she was being lied to at first. What kid wants to think their mother no longer wants them? That’s traumatizing and the way OP and his second wife handled it was just atrocious. It just added on to the trauma.

[@EBaron007]

Everyone here still trying to hold the Father accountable for everything. The issue here is the fact that her biological Mother abandoned her. She never got over it and took her resentment which festered to hatred out on the people closest to her. She needed therapy when she was screaming for it during her teenage years. Childhood trauma. The Dad is at fault for trying to live his own life and enabling the daughter w money. That’s not what she needed. Lots of mistakes to unpack here.

[@randysmith9636]

It is actually refreshing to hear about a spoiled brat not getting her way. She made her choice and you made yours. Now she must live with hers.

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

There's far more than just being a "spoiled brat". This woman is seriously mentally ill. Good, she's getting help, but her grandparents should be extremely cautious around her. She knows she can't play her father or over power him. Her grandparents are in their late seventies and highly vulnerable and easily played by a granddaughter they deeply care for. The danger is, if they ever refuse any of her "requests" who knows what she would do. She's a walking stick of dynamite with a very short fuse. The Ex-husband only told part of the story, there's far more he left out.

[@dinkyd1533]

Well she didn't get away with the wedding but the OP and his parents let her get away with everything else, they were class A enablers. He should have put her into therapy when she first exhibited her anger issues as a child, instead he let it fester until it got to this point.

[@johnbradbury8610]

It took OP long enough she was 27 years old when he cut off her credit card. I feel sorry for his stepdaughter.

[@blackbirdfilms1966]

Wish I could like this comment 1,000 times man

[@AllAboutPurple]

Lmao I love that he canceled the venue. How stupid/deceitful can you be to not include the person paying for your wedding who is also your father. There people who’s parents do anything for them. The parents should stay away from her, she seems like the type to kill her parents for money. Good luck to her fiancé.

[@heathermartinez6672]

She absolutely brought that on herself. That my friends is what I call Karma!

[@ninjastorm540]

Eva is too cruel, entitled and selfish for me to believe she changed much in the end of this story. Im betting she apologized to the grandparents to use them for money now. And considering that OP said they had generational wealth, it makes me positive she wants to stay in their good graces to still be on their will. Her accusations of OP's wife being a gold digger feels like more of a projection of her own motives.

[@thecursed01]

also defending the mother who abandoned her and never contacted her. 5 minutes contemplating would make it obvious to her how wrong she trated op. but i doubt that will ever happen. or rather, now it's too late.

[@Barlmoro]

@@thecursed01 the sad part ist, some people are evil or got so broken by something (sometimes small things) that the are beyond redemption

[@johnbradbury8610]

It was not understandable to hate her stepmom considering her real mom left.

[@johnbradbury8610]

OP is a total dumbass for thinking therapy is going to save "his little girl" she is just going to manipulate his dumbass for more money.

[@shanewoody4232]

Who knows crazy things happen all the time

[@Mrcandles312]

This sounds almost EXACTLY like my sister Cheryl. She has borderline personality disorder and has basically ended up at war with every “friend” or relative she’s ever known. For her wedding, she suddenly was being so kind to my dad as he was paying for it. “How’s your health?” she would suddenly ask my dad, as she waited for the money from my dad for the wedding. On the day of her wedding, her behavior was awful. Pushing me out of photos, refusing to take photos with my grandmother, and basically ignoring my parents. The day after her wedding, she told my dad she didn’t want to speak with him ever again. She then went 15 years without ever saying a word to me, my dad, mom, grandmother, uncles, aunt and anyone else. She’s recently come back into my parents lives. She’s now a deadbeat who’s defaulted on her school loans and is here for inheritance from my elderly parents. People don’t change….

[@Milner62]

Nope they don't, some people you find out about at a early age like this, others don't rear their heads and show their true nature till later in life.

[@AbdullahHashi-kw3qj]

Some people change, some don't I personally know people who've lead extremely poisonous lives and turned it around and found peace so now they offer peace

[@govurma]

Sounded to me as well like borderline personality disorder. I feel so sorry for her and the people in her life.

[@zmortis111]

People who isolate themselves from non-toxic family members and friends are actually doing those people a favor. I have a cousin who met a guy in college, got married to him, and isolated herself from her extended family except her mom, dad, and brother. I just shrugged my shoulders knowing her husband was behind it. After two kids, 20+ years of marriage, and now finally a divorce, she's still not willing to admit to herself that her douchbag ex-husband convinced her to become alienated her from her extended family.

[@anthonyparisella7224]

Daughter's bad behaviour should've been checked many years before

[@ssesf]

Yeah, no later than her 18th birthday. If she doesn't want to put in the effort to get into college, it should have been left at that.

[@RJ1999x]

​@@ssesfthe kid was out of control way before she was 18. What she needed was a job in the real world, not the delusional world of college

[@purselmer5931]

Could not agree more. If you wait until this father did, almost always the damage is done and no real change is possible. There are some very rare exceptions, so I'm hoping for that.

[@Main07vega]

Eva should have been in therapy the second she was abandoned by her mother

[@michaelmulligan1244]

The story comes off a bit to self-righteous and petty, imo. I'd be curious to know what her take on the situation was. Her bad behavior didn't suddenly start out of thin air.

[@jamesjdm]

He didn't stop her wedding. He just didn't pay for it. She could have still got married and like any adult she'd be responsible for paying for it You decide without reason to ban your father from your own wedding The man who is paying for and the man who put up with you, your whole life and who was supporting you then you get what you deserve

[@6036000]

And not even ban him, but like, not tell him about it so he would've showed up and been denied entry by someone he was paying lmao. Even tho it's fake

[@mgntstr]

and so gay.. and yet so delicious @@6036000

[@jgamer2228]

Well she had reasons, but they were remarkably petty. From her own point of view the dad wasn’t great. We don’t know that for sure, we’re only hearing his side of things and when it comes to ourselves we often remember the best things we’ve done, and the worst things done to us.

[@alexanderaparicio6295]

Facts

[@NighDarke]

The person she actually hates is her birth mother but she's taking it out on her father and blaming him because he's the only one there. However even understanding that, at a certain point you need to just walk away because no one should allow themselves to continue to have abuses thrown at them when they're not the one who did anything wrong.

[@johnnyblack4261]

I don't even get why she hates the father. And for what reason?

[@M.Campbell-Sherwood]

@@johnnyblack4261 He sent her to her aunt after her mother abandoned her. To her young mind that was another abandonment. She also probably thought it was because of the new wife. He f-€k3d up too and just doesn’t realize it or won’t admit it to himself and everyone else.

[@johnnyblack4261]

@@M.Campbell-Sherwood but that was cause she wasn't getting along with his new wife so that is why he sent her to her aunt to make it a little easier for her.

[@M.Campbell-Sherwood]

@@johnnyblack4261 Which is exactly why she behaves the way she does today. In her young mind her father replaced her mother with another woman. She most likely hadn’t come to terms with the fact that her mother chose to leave and didn’t want her. So she blamed her father. Then dear old dad brings in a new woman, soon after. The girl probably found this a threat to what family she has left. Her father puts the icing on the cake by sending her away and choosing the new wife over her. That is how young developing minds process these situations and actions. The new wife, being a supposed mental health professional should have known this. Especially since she supposedly worked in a school with children… All three adults bungled that one up and made the adult daughter what she is today, with their immature and irresponsible actions. They have no one to blame but themselves. If her father had done the responsible thing and gotten her the help she needed, early on she probably wouldn’t be the way she is today.

[@johnnyblack4261]

@@M.Campbell-Sherwood He never chose his new wife over his daughter, she foudn this new wife as a threat, that is on her, not on the father, the father has every right to have a new woman in his life if his original woman left him. If she can't process this then that is on her. There is no reason why she had to blame him, he did not leave her, he did everything for her, he tried to send her to her aunt cause she was not comfortable, and look what she does as an adult, she blames most of her friends even. This is on her. I do agree with the last thing you said, and even he admitted it that he should have gotten her help a long time ago and he could have responded to this better, but really she is responsible for her own actions and decisions she makes.

[@stephaniehoelscher5053]

You are a good man, and your wife is an ANGEL

[@LostCause-69]

Good he canceled the card, she might have racked it up to get back at him for what he had done.

[@michaelplunkett8059]

Owed it to her? And what of the respect she owed the father?

[@traiantrif7021]

What exactly did he do to her???

[@mgtow-balance3409]

@@traiantrif7021 she's a woe-man, so whatever wrong she FEEEEELS her father did to her, is "what actually happened"

[@NathanaelGreer]

This is fake for rubes like you

[@markhall6306]

@@traiantrif7021nothing she was rotten be’atch

[@nearheaven5311]

Don't give gifts to someone who you know "hates" you and expect that person to suddenly want to include you in their life.

[@rapsack7058]

OP, made only one mistake: When Eva was young and showed the first signs of hate etc. He should have taken her into therapy and worked through her problems instead of let her live at his sister.

[@Rorschachqp]

It was definitely a mistake and one of many mistakes. Choosing to have an innocent child with a woman like that was the first mistake. Not going full in with the child when the mother left and let it get to the point where she misbehaved habitually was another mistake.

[@JP-eh4ee]

She probably needed discipline too. Seeing as Eva's own mom doesn't want her. They definitely spoiled her.

[@Rorschachqp]

@@JP-eh4ee with money, yes. With love? She had none and a lot of self-hate. The first thing kids think when their parents break and and especially if a parent flat out leaves is, what did I do wrong? Did I do something wrong?

[@karenmccurry643]

I agree she was already rejected by her mother and then dad rejects her by sending her to someone else she needs years of therapy

[@Rorschachqp]

@@karenmccurry643 Yes, someone who already had a daughter. No wonder she fought with that daughter so much, that daughter was loved by her family and lived with that family. What a nightmare to live in that situation. Constantly be reminded of what she wants and needs but doesn't have, every single day.

[@955kat]

If you don't want your parents @ your wedding....then you pay for it or just go to the justice of the peace. That's it. They don't owe you shit.

[@Dave_of_Mordor]

I disagree with this. If your parents were a-holes, they do owe you. Letting you stay in their home and eating their food is not enough. They are the ones who bring you into this world (most likely by accident or family duty), so these things are the bare minimum they could do for you. I feel like the father in this story is leaving out a lot, and he's only telling us a side of the story that triggered us enough to be against his daughter. He definitely did more than just not taking her side. I know people are petty, but to not invite someone to your wedding just because they didn't take your side that one time during your childhood is too much. There is more going on here and he is not telling us.

[@williamdodgson5136]

​@@Dave_of_Mordorbut this parent wasn't an a hole

[@Dave_of_Mordor]

@@williamdodgson5136 you know them personally?

[@williamdodgson5136]

@@Dave_of_Mordor bro, the daughter hated the dad because he defended his sisters daughter from getting bullied by her, the daughter also hates her dad for remarrying 5 years later. But oh well, since it's the internet we can't believe anything

[@williamdodgson5136]

@@Dave_of_Mordor but how do you know he's leaving out parts of the story? You know him personally?

[@Summer-xi3bo]

Makes me sick that he basically bought her a college spot that someone who was not evil could have used.

[@carboy101]

Yeah pretty much. She’s completely garbage

[@dcg590]

Or someone who actually earned it. That’s the real problem

[@ScottHuizenga-f8g]

He saved her far too many times. I cannot feel bad for him.

[@lesyeuxsansvisage1157]

People like that, are shockingly good at manipulating. My guess would be she manipulated him, making him feel like he has destroyed her. It’s gross he bought her an unearned spot, but I wouldn’t be shocked if Eva has been wretched since childhood. It sounds like she has NP/BPD/Sociopathy.

[@rayrwyr]

That caused to become more entitled. I think she is wreaking havoc at her workplaces as well.

[@chrissmith-wq6gr]

Time for you and Mercy to have your own lives. Some people just can't be helped, it's a shame but true.

[@DrownedInExile]

Eva is a monster. Glad her husband dumped her sorry arse. She deserves to be utterly alone. I wish OP hadn't tried meeting her, complete waste of his time. But I'm not a parent so I suppose I wouldn't understand. I hope OP completely washes her hands of her, writes her out of his will. She made her choices, she can live with the consequences.

[@titofuente9979]

A monster that his father (OP) created with the help of his parents. See, I understand that when you are a parent whose partner leave alone with a child, you tend to overcompensate with your kid(s). But this overcompensation creates monster in most of the cases. By enabling this girl to do things most normal people could not get away with, by helping her to not face consequences of her antics, by not letting her to learn about accountability, by not letting her grow from her mistakes and to pay for them, he created a horrible monster. But he is a monster, too. He had money and with money he bought her out of any problem she got into, and he with his parents paid the consequences. They damaged that girl. DO NOT FORGET THAT. Yes, she is a monster, but so are they.

[@michaelplunkett8059]

She hated him, but wanted him to pay? Nope.

[@jackmclane1826]

If it is your kid... you do strange things.

[@johnnyblack4261]

OP meeting the daughter did actually help to some small extent, at least he managed to get her (indirectly) to apologise to his parents.

[@boltok9584]

@@titofuente9979nah at some point personal taking responsibility for their actions comes into play.... if u constantly use others as an excuse/outlet then ur the problem. She had a drug problem he got her rehab... she had a need for better schooling he helped her apply ALL of that was a need. Everything else was a want an she had more then enough resources to succeed an chose destruction an no therapy or willingness to seek help/get better. Her parents are her scapegoat nothing more.

[@pav1974]

Eva is evil, she needs to be taught a lesson. Imagine paying for a wedding you aren’t invited to nor needed to pay for in the first place. You did the right thing.

[@michaelplunkett8059]

Ban Dad, bans his wallet.

[@pyrus0zero]

Op needed to learn the hard way that his daughter needed to learn their are consequences to her actions. You can’t help somebody who doesn’t want help. They need to help themselves.

[@Shamus3]

My daughter asked me to help pay for her wedding, but then told me not only was I not invited, but she didn't want me there. In fact, she told me none of my family was invited, but still wanted money. I would have helped even if I didn't get an invite, but to be told we weren't welcome was the end of it. Hoping one day she'll change her mind.

[@munirahmed2923]

A very sad story about a toxic daughter & a kindhearted father. You did right to cancel the wedding, please stay away from her and never allow her in your home as she may physically harm your wife. Mercy & you deserve a nice, calm and a happy future together with your daughter not in your life. Best wishes from across the world 🌎 Karachi- Pakistan 🇵🇰

[@barbaraalford]

My daughter has hated me now for over 10 years. At one time she was my best friend. I still pray for her and her family every day. I’ve missed watching my grandkids grow.

[@random-guy579]

Why does your kid hate you?

[@taz598]

Yep therapy isn't going to help Eva at all she is still blaming Dad for her actions.....no matter what Dad did or didn't do when she was a child her choices and her actions as an adult are all on HER and she still hasn't accepted that.

[@emeraldpichu1]

Feels more like she’s pretending to get better so she can start leeching off the grandparents again

[@dcg590]

Eva is a narcissist.

[@yamairad1]

She needed therapy years ago.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@Dilligaf-m7s]

Yep she is going to try and manipulate the grandparents into leaving her their money and not her dad.

[@Mattmanwow]

Canceling the wedding was the most ruthless thing and she deserved it lol. He essentially gave her what she wanted by estranging her from the family. Im sorry for the loss of his daughter but she wanted this.

[@pauloz53]

Eva has serious signs of narcissistic personality disorder. If so, therapy is unlikely to work.

[@kumikor3392]

The daughter sounds traumatized from her mother's abandonment, not narcissistic. She's lashing out at the people who stayed. She just needs therapy to face her self destructive behavior and why she's doing it

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

@@kumikor3392 A true NARCISSIST, is not your typical spoiled brat that has been over indulged by their parents and grandparents. A true NARCISSIST is MENTALLY ILL, they are born that way, not made. Think Psychopath; they DO NOT feel Empathy, Remorse or Guilt. Did you ever stop and think the BIo Mom could see and sense that there was something seriously mentally wrong with her child. She went NO CONTACT, ran half way across the world to start a new life. I'd love to know what her life is like now. Is she still married to the man, does she have children who are NORMAL and well adjusted? Dad and Grandparents did enable her behavior, they made excuses and went to great lengths to get her out of trouble. What they should have done was get her a Psychiatrist and a Licensed Therapist. It would not have changed her "WAY of THINKING" or "LACK of FEELING", but it would have helped her to LEARN what people are allowed to do and NOT to do in a Civilized Society.

[@idminister]

@@TheBliepbliep no it is not born from trauma, it can be exacerbated by trauma. but it is either there or not regardless. it cannot be fixed, but it can kept under control.

[@yohaneslouise2961]

​@@TheBliepbliepLike you mentioned, I don't think it can possibly originate from the trauma alone. I know someone who, although having a happy life, has been a narcissistic jerk their entire life. It's never trauma on its own; you either learn it from others or from the default.

[@CJ-BZ]

More like extreme mommy issues

[@itweeb4765]

As far as I'm concerned: the daughter avoiding him was her trying to commit fraud to get him to pay for her wedding. She probably thought it was too late at that point anyway.

[@lindahenderson3819]

It's obvious the girl has issues from her mother abandoning her, and she should have had therapy from a young age.

[@lloydbenjamin4852]

Eva is a narcissist with displaced anger issues. If she ever saw her mother again, that would be a show worth watching.

[@tamitami9275]

Eva does not need a therapist, Eva is above their pay grade. Eva needs a Psychiatrist, meds and then deep therapy.

[@nannettepolcastro4799]

She needs inpatient therapy

[@vlkafenryka788]

Possibly a lobotomy

[@izo_kei]

She needs an exorcist

[@frostyhardison1824]

I have a similar situation. I haven't been able to see my kids for years, their mother poisoned their minds against me. One of my sons recently got married, didn't invite me to the wedding but let me know where I could send money and gifts. Sent him Christian DVDs on marriage - no cash.

[@sokarowinter5602]

And you still wonder why they don't like you they didn't need to be poisoned against you you took care of it yourself

[@merlinathrawes746]

Cancelled wedding story: As hard as it is and as guilty as you may feel OP, you did the right thing. This only delayed her wedding, not cancelled it. If all her and her fiancé can now afford is a courthouse wedding, so be it. It may, repeat may not will finally teach her that she cannot always get away with treating others like dirt, especially those she is relying on to pay for the things she wants and needs. I would be curious to know how much the fiancé knows about what went on behind the scenes and if it had his approval. I'm glad to see OP's parents finally learned the truth of their granddaughter, as much as it may hurt. I will ask this; did you get your daughter any therapy after your divorce and her mother's abandonment? Did they stay in any sort of contact? I can understand your daughter being hurt, but not to this extent and IMO the focus of her anger is on the wrong person.

[@cookiegalleria6916]

As hard as it was, you did the right thing dad. Bad behavior should not be rewarded. It sounds as if you will need to love her from afar unless she gets help and makes major changes.

[@crawdaddy2004]

As a child of divorce with one parent remarrying, I just don’t understand the vitriol toward step parents. My biological father was the best friend I have ever had (though he died when I was 13, eight years after the divorce). My biological father and stepfather were in my life concurrently for four years. My stepdad is one of my best friends today. He’s always treated me well. When my mother was dating, she made it clear to anyone she was dating that if he was to marry her, he was marrying both her and me.

[@rekslegiune6004]

Respect to your mom and to you, not to bee Eva as OPs daughter in this story.

[@dcg590]

Of course your mother needed some other guy to raise you and pay for you. All single mothers expect some other guy to raise another man’s kid.

[@itweeb4765]

Should have sent her a text while she was outside . "You're spreading negativity on my life. Please leave forever." Then reblocked her.

[@sukiwatson]

Don't feel bad for cancelling the wedding you paid for that she didn't invite you too. She blames you for the fact that her mom didn't want her. Something she is going to have to get over. Apparently, therapy isn't helping if she still blames you for everything. Apologizing to the grandparents is her way of manipulating them when she needs too. Stay strong and hopefully she will get her issues straightened out.

[@irisdutra5033]

Dad did everything possible to have her avoid the consequences of her own actions and now wonders why she did this to him?

[@samsondavid3595]

Good job well done .. my daughter no longer talks to me and it's a blessing. She thought I was a credit card.

[@dorothypage7410]

Don’t feel guilt. You, finally, taught your daughter about gratitude. Hopefully, she learns that lesson.

[@MichRoyal]

Ah yes, stories like this are the perfect form of birth control.

[@peacewithyou6341]

The actual tragedy in this story is that did get away with this behavior her whole life... teach your kids while they are young and make them grow into decent human beings. It's much harder and more painful when they've fully developped a bad character later in life...

[@Rawkit_Surgeon]

Eva needs to hit rock bottom to learn her lesson.

[@amityblight4955]

There’s a lot People who don’t have parent issues and it shows. I feel bad for the daughter out of everyone in this situation

[@Bucketus.Lord.of.Buckets]

He wasn't "not invited" to the wedding - he and his wife were outright BANNED from it. What's sad is literally everyone except the b--ch daughter and ex-mother are victims here

[@damionkeeling3103]

The daughter was a victim of her mother abandoning her. She obviously never got over it, took drugs at school and as someone else said, took everything out on her father because he was around and her mother wasn't.

[@gabrielwense3506]

I think the first wife is right. OP is a simp. No woman wants live with a spineless coward

[@AllAboutPurple]

@@damionkeeling3103 She’s lucky she had a father…many people are abandoned by both. Her stepmother could’ve also pushed her away from her father but she didn’t. Perhaps her father should’ve put her in bootcamp or something. Her dad coddled her too much. Either way as an adult, grow up & get therapy!

[@jeanie111]

Hmmmm🫣🐟🐟

[@JMac7395]

Ava needs to grow tf up. She's almost 30 yet, still acting like a confused teen. Why doesn't she have any hate & vitriol for the mother who abandoned her? Due to Ava's pride & immaturity, it's going to take years of therapy for her to acknowledge the whole truth

[@dmaxcustom]

That's what happens when parents shield their kids from the real world. You enabled her to be like this.

[@BW022]

Bingo. If your kids are more afraid of the world than you, you've failed as a parent.

[@robertshepherd99]

Blaming parents for the idiocy of their adult children is unfair. Very nice people have awful children; at some point, they are more influenced by their peers than they are by their parents. All any parent can do is their best.

[@mgtow-balance3409]

@@robertshepherd99 as i told my son as he grew up, until you're 18, it's MY problem; after you're 18, it's YOUR problem so yeah, unruly children AND the parents share blame

[@diannetimpson6885]

@@robertshepherd99 Totally agree. My daughter and I had a wonderful relationship until she entered college and was influenced by the "woke" crowd. I haven't seen or heard from her since and refuses any contact I initiated. This was peer group pressure.

[@CatEyedGoddess]

@@BW022That’s something my mother would say. She has always thought that me being afraid of her was a compliment to her as a parent. Sometimes I just needed comfort from the hash realities of the world. You know, like a parent, like a mother, not a drill sergeant. It’s a part of the reason I haven’t talked to or dealt with her in years.

[@Serai3]

Curious to know who taught Eva to be mean and narcissistic. That kind of behavior doesn't just fall out of the sky; kids learn it. So I'd like to hear her side of it.

[@annechoyrocks]

I don't blame the dad. She is likely angry at her own mom.

[@darthjesus7079]

NPD is something you either have or don't, it isn't learned behaviour.

[@naekosl3059]

Her rough crowd friends probably mocked her boomer father. So all that mockery by her friends towards parental figures and boomers entered her life when she was impressionable due to her emotional state.

[@MondoBeno]

My cousin and her husband made it clear from day #1 that (1) They would not pay more than $10K for each kid to go to college, (2) They would not co-sign for any loans, and (3) They would not pay for a wedding.

[@RebelsBestFriend]

Send a kid to college, you get an indoctrinated kid who hates, is intolerant and entitled. College did a lot of damage on top of the dad remarrying and adding more resentment.

[@mgtow-balance3409]

@@RebelsBestFriend ain't it crazy how sooooooo many "people" nowadays can't stand people who won't tolerate them, but don't realize they're ALSO being intolerant of people who won't tolerate them

[@sheneedsme]

I was happy to pay for my daughter’s 4 degrees, her car and her $100k wedding. She has always been hard working and kind and never caused me any worries or problems. I was a stay at home Dad and my wife a school principal and our daughter was an only child who was showered with time, love and resources. She is 28 and a wonderful wife and mother herself now. She also has a high paying career and completely independent. I can’t imagine having an angry and entitled daughter who was a poor student and who did drugs. Eva is a nightmare and makes me appreciate my special girl.

[@luxpursuits]

Why they bothered to have kids?

[@Nolimitation1]

@@luxpursuits This just goes to show how little 95% of parents care about their kids. They would rather buy a new car or an underground swimming pool then fund their kids education. Most of them only do the bare bare minimum so they don't get thrown in prison for child abuse.

[@aarkey4556]

Mercy is an very understanding lady... Eva should be greatful to have her as a mom.

[@Sherwoody]

Revenge is a meal that is best served cold.

[@joebaird5874]

Bravo, I don't even know why the dad was expected to pay for the wedding. It's obvious that she's not mature enough to be getting married in the first place. Reminds me of MM's wedding though, insulting her own father by not inviting him.

[@mweathers79]

You didn’t stop her from getting married you just stopped her getting married in your dime NTA.

[@ShockerTopper]

Good, the best thing he could do is cancel the venue. If she was going to do that, then for sure she deserved the cancellation. Nice to see a parent stand up to an entitled brat.

[@artemisia457]

what a mess... can't help but wonder if her mother's abandonment + drugs + possible mental illness were what made her this way. she has a long road ahead of her if she wants to have anyone in her life poor op, though... he really seems to have tried to give her the best life he could and yet, all he got was abuse in return

[@Iflie]

Yeah the mother was just as cold as the daughter was, dumping her entire family when convenient. There must be some mental illness passed on. Many people divorce, don't see one parent anymore and have a parent remarry, they do not turn into raving narcs with violence issues. But certain mental illnesses do exactly that, can't keep friends or anyone close because they are in the line of fire.

[@lfcmike12]

​@@IfliePerhaps being cruel and cold hearted to supposed loved ones runs in their family.

[@Iflie]

@@lfcmike12 I think some mental illnesses are known for that behaviour and can be inherited.

[@NathanaelGreer]

Don’t worry so much it’s not real dummy

[@byronjasper2873]

As much as you love them, you can't let your children drag you down. Sometimes that tough love have to happen.

[@DayumSonny]

OP kept enabling her and kept shielding her from the consequences of her actions and now acts surprised that she's turned into a heartless monster. You turned her into this, man!

[@BraveryWing26]

No he didnt. He was one of the few who didnt.

[@juliearmfield2634]

I have a feeling that Op did a lot more damage than he wants to admit or even realizes. I'm not saying what Ava did was right Banning him from the wedding he paid for. I'm saying I don't think he was this perfect dad that was always there for her enter her best interest first. However I think she is in dire need of some therapy

[@tracigreen4786]

Actually,she seemed like a monstrous child from the get go. She seems to take after her heartless mother. And besides,there aren’t too many Dads that DON’T spoil their daughters.

[@supermopar7497]

This is correct

[@SpicyPlur]

Preach 🙌 dad raises a kid for 5 years and then acts like my job is done, I'll just throw money at the problem.

[@ladybugleelee3215]

She doesn’t hate her father, she hates her mother but subconsciously blames her father because mom isn’t there, he is the one she chooses to lash out at to keep mom on a pedestal as girls idolize their mothers

[@ajb7530]

If I was OP in the 1st story, I would disown and disinherit Eva. Eva is ungrateful and lacks grace and class. Eva needs to face serious consequences, and she needs a psych evaluation.

[@charlesyoung7436]

That is one step he might want to take now. Have his lawyer write up a new will and send Eva notice of her disinheritance.

[@ajb7530]

I agree with that. ​@@charlesyoung7436

[@VinceZanity]

That was awesome dad....way to go 😂👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Ungratefulness should never be rewarded

[@jeffreyburney6161]

The best thing for you to do is just separate yourself from your own daughter that is the hardest thing to do but there’s nothing more than you can do for her she’s just twisted, narcissistic and evil.

[@IamtheJayman]

12:05 Whoa Whoa Whoa, you didn't abandon her, she's an adult, it's not like you dropped her off in the middle of nowhere.

[@secondswell]

Cant be ruthless to your children? Thats why she is the way she is.

[@jonathanbrown7250]

Sounds like the smartest one here was bio mom. Maybe she sensed the evil

[@slimrock6477]

😂

[@michaelmulligan1244]

First story sounds like a dad and a daughter that deserve each other.

[@kittyfan]

mom and dad have been up to something that caused her to block them. Cancelling her wedding venue is a GREAT example.

[@WilliamWizer]

no child of mine would treat me that way. because the moment the child tries to treat me that way, I won't acknowledge him/her as my child. I will provide with just what law requires me to do but nothing beyond that.

[@messenger2099]

Absolutely, totally, 100 percent agree.

[@maureendawkins9753]

I am so sorry you are going through this, I hope you all can heal from this, you sounds like a great dad, you did all you can, I would have done the same.

[@BruceJames6878]

That’s so rude It’s a good thing that you did cancel the reception

[@thegimpygamer]

The dad, his parents, and his wife are all partly culpable for how this girl is. Sure she is a adult now and that's on her. However had she once been made to account for her actions growing up she might not have gone down this path. Her adult figures failed her by being WAY too soft on her. I mean come on he goes to meet her after cutting her off and he APOLOGIZES to her?!?!? He never showed her any strength. He never was a father to her. He was just the weak guy that babyed her because mommy left. She is right to be mad at him, but that doesn't justify her behavior. She will have a bad life because deep down she is mad mommy left and daddy never said no. First one couldn't be helped, but the second done different might have put her on a different path.

[@treco2583]

Ok good. It looks like we heard the same story. Mom left, then dad shipped her off TWICE!! Yes she “chose” to stay with her grandparents, but WHY was she given a choice? Neither of her parents wanted her. That’s why she’s a monster. She needs serious professional help. Help nobody ever got her when she needed it most.

[@eugenewalter3170]

Dad enabled this behavior by coddling her and covering for her mistakes. Parenting is an extremely important undertaking. Probably the single most important one in life.

[@nocteinperpetuum7777]

in retrospect, when you're not even ten years old and hear that your mom doesn't want you will mess anyone up. That might've been the original "blame dad" moment. And dad getting married probubly meant to her that moms never coming back. Or her presents prevents mom from coming back. Just a thought.

[@notaclu6911]

Mum always said to me " you can choose your friends but you can't choose your relatives". This is one relative that needs to be left completely alone until the day she grows up......if ever.

[@UchuKejiMovan]

Sounds like discipline was never introduced in Eva's life smh

[@JordanDragonAs]

It probably was but some kids weaponize the discipline as abuse

[@RobToz2011]

Hard to discipline someone who is Borderline or NPD.

[@DennisMccummings]

Don't feel bad I raised my daughter from a baby. She just recently got married in November and I was not Invited I paid for her dress And was willing to pay for the food. So I know how you feel. I was very disappointed that was my baby girl. That's how she turned on me.

[@leroysgamesandmore2226]

Damn op did you never punish her at all if I acted that way to my ma I would have my ass beat and you never had her go to therapy no wonder she’s so messed up

[@Blackmajic21]

You can’t help anyone that doesn’t want help.

[@larryr.6115]

An emotional man..S.M.H. He knew how she was and protected her. Those chickens came home to roost!

[@Joe-xq3zu]

That goes far beyond mere spoiled behaviour and goes strait into full on psychopathy.

[@juanhaines7295]

Nta she made it clear you were nothing more than an ATM to you. That you need to give her the world and then some.

[@byronjasper2873]

I agree. I would do the same. Despite their differences, that ungrateful and spoiled daughter don't deserve your kindness.

[@learhaynes1002]

So mom cheats on father and leaves him, father remarries keeps her and raises her. Father bails her out time after time. Yet, she has animosity towards the father? Good for the father doing what he d I.

[@Kevin7557]

Willing to be she has some borderline or type b personality disorder.

[@aaronzegas5270]

Sometimes, people you help out the most are also the people who resent you the most. It's paradoxical, but it makes a certain amount of sense. Especially when that person has issues and have already pushed other people away. Their own self-hatred is directed outwards and the people who tried to be kindest to them are the ones who get hit the hardest.

[@judymckee5992]

Sound like my step daughter, who treated her wonderful dad like dirt.She spend all the college education monies on vacation and lied to her dad for 3 years and still receiving financial support from him. She didn't go to college but had a job and all the while pretending she went to college to extract more monies from her dad.Unbelievable and after we found out, she cut us off but once in a while , tried asking for monies to buy a car.

[@kurokaze511]

I'd be curious to see what this looks like from Eva's point of view. This seems written to make OP look like a perfect saint who's suffering the trials of raising an evil daughter but that kind of hatred has to come from some where. Not saying she's innocent in this but I doubt OP is as faultless as he's making himself seem.

[@weenacfeegle3086]

You'd be amazed at how distorted the world is to people with personality disorders, and how bizarre and misdirected their actions can be.

[@jturtle5318]

No parent is perfect. Her behavior is appalling.

[@tieriaprime6051]

Maybe telling her that her own mom left her with him for someone else

[@SylviaStalcup]

Don't feel burdened other than the fact you sort of allowed her to sponge off you and feel entitled. But she is long past the age of paying for her own wedding instead of trying to lay a guilt trip on you. She is so self-absorbed I doubt her new marriage will last.

[@The-Dom]

Dad made all the same excuses she did, except it wasnt the day before his wedding. He offered to pay. what a pos.

[@jean6453]

This is a great example of a father who is just as dysfunctional and immature as his daughter

[@Nolimitation1]

Yeah I cant believe the comments defending the father. He literally tried to pawn off his daughter to his sister. This man abandoned her when he got divorced and wonders why she hates him. He doesn't even have a money problems excuse he said he's wealthy. Yeah if someone contributes money to your wedding they should be allowed to attend she shouldn't have done that. But I'm not surprised she hates him.

[@malkum77ify]

People resist change until change becomes irresistible.

[@littlepip4014]

First I was like, why is he demanding to see the guest list to invite people without asking his daughter? Then as I listened I realized the daughter was a spoiled freaking brat.

[@intpleb4206]

This is actually what clued me into the fact that he's a controlling narcissist, himself. He's spinning it to make himself look the victim, and people are buying it. A true master class narcissist victim, this dad is.

[@sableann4255]

I would have blocked all payments, Disputed all credit Cards, canceled everything, F that!

[@bigbasspa]

We got married in front of a judge in his courtroom then we had a honeymoon a few miles away at Jim Thorpe in PA. Went off to a really nice New Orleans type hotel there and had a wonderful time. Never understood why people want to throw away 1000's on honeymoons. Total cost about $500 (including bar bills) and was worth every cent.

[@evelynberrios8164]

The bio mother needs to meet her daughter. Perhaps she’ll be toxic enough to tell her she never wanted her and left her to her father. Perhaps that will shock her enough to deal with her problems. OP you tried everything, therapy, rehabilitation but when a person wants to destroy their life, you can’t help. OP I believe you did all you could for your daughter. Just let her deal with her own problems and hope one day she’ll come around. Have a good life with your supportive wife.

[@paul.mcguinness6075]

I've not spoken with my daughter in years. Sometimes it's better this way. Move along, nothing to see here.

[@fibienn250]

I don’t blame OP for cancelling the wedding though he did take it to the extreme by making sure she didn’t find out until the last minute. Still, all he did was serve up the same shock and humiliation that she had planned for him and Mercy so it was kinda karmic. However, what absolutely makes OP the ahole is his complete and utter failure to parent his child. Instead of love, therapy and actually teaching her basic life skills like work ethic, honesty, responsibility and consequences, he reinforced sense of abandonment and entitlement. He coddled her, made excuses for her and even paid her way out of trouble. Then, when things understandably got worse he essentially abandoned her too by palming her off on his parents. He and her revolting mother utterly ruined that child and then he’s shocked by her subsequent behaviour. Maybe she had an underlying psychiatric condition all along but good parenting might have made a real difference. This story left me wondering two things: What sort of dad was he before the mum left and was Mercy’s (trained in child psychology) advice really just “be patient with her”?

[@Lin.1703]

I suspect she had bpd and nothing he would have done or did do would make any difference

[@xaverbishop6506]

Probably wouldn’t commit to marriage after learning she did that. Dad should remove her from any wills too.

[@Brancato8]

I’d forget her she’s chosen her path, she won’t listen your better off no excuses

[@David-h4l8o]

Do t feel guilty, they are ungrateful and o ly care about themselves today.. live your life.

[@augustoantonioaguila99]

Don’t leave Eva any inheritance.

[@byronjasper2873]

Also in order to get help, you gonna have to want help. I have an unstable brother in law with serious anger issues. I haven't spoke to him in years. He has threatened us and threatened to harm his grandkids, threatened to put a bullet in his brother s head, he attacked his mom whose in a wheelchair, grabbed a steering wheel while my wife was driving, harassed my dad, drove miles from home to beat up his ex girlfriend and the list goes on.