Dave Allen - Catching a leprechaun

[@dylan3657]

Dave Allen. You wake to the clock, you go to work to the clock, you clock-in to the clock, you clock out to the clock, you come home to the clock, you eat to the clock, you drink to the clock, you go to bed to the clock, you get up to the clock, you go back to work to the clock... You do that for forty years of your life and you retire - what do they fucking give you? A clock

[@LordZontar]

Dave Allen was one of the best storytellers who ever lived.

[@allenjenkins7947]

Never a rude word, never abusive or derogatory to others, just very funny.

[@jackmallory7996]

I agree. Those were the only things lacking.

[@Rick-ve5lx]

He used plenty of rude words when he did live shows.

[@mizofan]

he was shamefully treated by the BBC for using a so-called rude word

[@enjolras76]

Yes hear hear!!

[@51WCDodge]

@@mizofan Yes but he made a very funny sketch out of it!

[@trevorhill8612]

It was always a pleasure watching Dave Allen on TV in the 70’s. It was a family event and what a fantastic story teller. It great to have KZbin to see him whenever I want.

[@davidmoore1477]

We all gathered around the telly to watch him! His irreverent catholic skits always made me feel a little naughty!😆😆

[@JLMcFarlin]

Dave Allen was a gem. I remember watching him when I was a lad in the 70s and 80s on PBS. Back when they were great.

[@estongbigboy6702]

Dave allen will always be a legend in comedy..

[@23rdjune]

Being allowed to stay up late to see Dave Allen was the biz!

[@yeltsin6817]

My dad loved watching Dave Allen. Would laugh his ass off RIP dad.

[@mrserus7164]

My Dad would too, He's been gone many years, but I can still see him and hear him laughing with tears running down his face 😂

[@yeltsin6817]

@@mrserus7164 I was young so half the time I didn’t understand the one. But seeing my dad laugh made me laugh. As I got older I to my teens the jokes started making sense. Now that I’m 55 I’m pissing myself at how funny that stuff was. Him and Benny Hill. Man oh man.

[@davidmoore1477]

One of the greatest comedians ever!

[@iainbagnall4825]

Killing it doing stand up... sitting down. Legend.

[@bikechainmic]

Legend....He makes me laugh so much! His humour = expect the unexpected!

[@craigwessels7099]

One of my favorite comics growing up. Very funny man.

[@micchaelfearn5163]

Dave is the thinking man's comedian, loved him,

[@carolebarker2195]

He was brilliant. Very intelligent man. I loved his shows on tv.

[@stewartwilson7273]

He's a long time gone but his magic lives on still nun better

[@मुहम्मदआतंकवादी-न1फ]

None not Nun

[@carmellewis2466]

I think he used nun instead of none as a joke because od Dave Allen's jokes about the catholic church.

[@robertsmoot7640]

I remember back in the Day, laughing out loud to those lines by Dave Allen.

[@willykutz67andrews34]

A true one off comedy gold and timing in abundance

[@missjoshemmett]

My all time fav joke, can't count how many times I've told it and I always give Dave credit for it.

[@davebrown9465]

Brilliant as always Dave Allen RIP

[@gaius_enceladus]

He was **brilliant!** We'll never see his like again!

[@johnhunter6098]

mainly because he is dead

[@angr3819]

Thank you. He never has a joke fall flat.

[@keithrich8373]

You would still have to go a long way to find ANYBODY better at telling a tall tale.He was the master still unsurpassed

[@richardpine8011]

That was outstanding!

[@esuohdica]

I bet he was great in the pub!

[@aqacefan]

I've heard a different version of the punchline... "What d'ye want fer yer t'ird and final wish?" "I want ye t' scare me half t' death!"

[@barnstar2077]

I heard the same joke years ago, but with a captured genie and the man asks to be beaten half to death!

[@brianmilligan1787]

Good One

[@306champion]

I like that

[@Yohann67]

I I heard a version where the man asked to have 1 testicle removed.

[@Fabio_Barone_Au]

Heard a different punch line: "And now, what d'ye want fer yer t'ird and final wish?" "Ye can take one of me kidneys".

[@allenomalley4014]

He was quite the dapper too brilliant class never dates 👍

[@jeffcarroll6553]

For a moment I thought he said he was a tree leprechaun. Then I realised I was barking up the wrong tree.

[@Anarchsis]

The greatest!

[@stevenoneill7166]

Absolutely fantastic

[@ruthecker399]

love dave rip

[@torpedodropkick59]

One of the funniest jokes!

[@johncunningham4820]

We used to watch Dave Allen as a Family event . Mum , Dad , Three Kids and Pizza Hut Pizza .

[@mizofan]

On 18th May 1997 I saw a leprechaun, in velvet emerald coat and hat and shiny buckles, on a stile near Clifden in Connemara- he was crooning Galway Bay. I bade him good morning and we enjoyed a friendly little chat while he puffed on his pipe but then i ruined it by reaching for a camera and with a wink he was gone.

[@Warriorking.1963]

I believe you because I saw that self same leprechaun and he told me that one fine day he was singing Galway Bay in Connemara a fellow came along and they had a chat. Only when the bloke turned to reach for his camera did the leprechaun bugger off! And believe it or not, this was on the 20th May 1997! 😲 I didn't believe him at the time, but your story seems to tie in nicely.

[@lydialily846]

Brilliant , 😂

[@Dazsvintagestuff]

Brilliant.

[@stephenkennedy4438]

One of the best

[@mjw12345]

Allen is as great now as when I first encountered him. He doesn't wilt with age. Rare in comedy world, not sure if any of the old greats seem fresh now. Seinfeld ages well too but as ensemble, Jerry solo I find well to put it kindly no Dave Allen.

[@david-pb4bi]

I don’t get it? Neither did O’Flaherty

[@andrewbesso4257]

The third wish in another version was "I want you to take out one of my kidneys."

[@alexbowman7582]

They’ve tricked you as soon as you’ve accepted they have buried treasures.

[@pineapplepenumbra]

What I want to know is, where do the "Crock of Gold" leprechauns get their crocks of gold from?

[@torsion2]

'take one of my eyes'

[@stiofanloingsigh351]

3 wishes I grant ye, great wishes or small, but if ye wish a 4th one then ya lose them all☘️

[@jenniferwells9032]

The best 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂❤️❤️

[@jenniferwells9032]

😂😂😂😂just love him ❤️❤️❤️

[@weejim48]

Brilliant comedian 👍

[@thegoldendef398]

His third wish should have been: I want half of the two previous things I wished for taken away.

[@Wolf-ln1ml]

I've heard it with the third wish being, "I want to get beaten half to death..."

[@robertlee5456]

I heard a version of this joke where the punch line was, "I'd like you to beat me half to death ..."

[@McRocket]

That's a good one.

[@ntmdisco]

the master

[@glen6945]

ace

[@huss1205]

I thought he will ask for one ball to be taken away from him...

[@torpedodropkick59]

Timing and expression.

[@iball310369]

I expected him to say that he wished to donate a kidney

[@skullandbones1832]

💚

[@baneblackguard584]

my Dad would tell a version of that but the third wish was "i want to be beaten half to death"

[@TonyTheSharkBaloney]

STEP #1: Eat magic mushrooms....

[@gmamagillmore4812]

.... and if I had a face like you, I'd join the British Army.

[@solsol1624]

I heard a version of that where the punch line was beat me half to death. Edit oh see someone else posted that, sorry!

[@michaelstephen819]

Most people born after about 1970 won't have the maths skills to understand this - percentages are too difficult for them.

[@huwjones4291]

A brilliant, brilliant comic. He'd be banned today, sad world that we live in!

[@quasarsphere]

I really don't think he would be.

[@anthonymichaelwilson8401]

lol 😂

[@heyitsalanhere]

Ok...3rd wish... "Shorten me todger by half" 🥒👀

[@jamesbrowne6351]

Or remove one of me testicles.

[@mikeD76]

it is a great joke, for the time. i prefer the punchline, "& for your third wish"? I want you to beat me half to death! ;)

[@nogorman560]

bean

[@tinakilburn212]

🤣🤣😂

[@Ackadia]

😄

[@alsnelding]

Will anybody explain that joke to me

[@Silver_Owl]

His rival gets twice as much. So if the leprechaun reduces the man's desire for women by 50 percent, his rival's desire will be reduced by 100 percent, and he'll no longer desire the 20 beautiful women in his house.

[@alsnelding]

I got one excuse. I was drunk

[@secondchance6603]

@@alsnelding The perfect alibi

[@KingKon247]

Impotent 😆😅😂🤣

[@RuddyIPA]

Although leprechauns don't exist I do believe in them.

[@cynthiasmith3660]

Although the leprechauns don't exist you do believe in them please get it straight dear 🤑💚☘

[@trishjackson2728]

These KZbin subtitles are dreadful 😑

[@margiewatson6081]

:))

[@georges3799]

This joke wouldn't work with an American accent.

[@Anon.5216]

He does use rude words! He blasphemes! I hope he accepts Jesus as His Saviour. But he is funny!

[@malahammer]

You're a bit mad aren't you!

[@51WCDodge]

@@malahammer Then Dave Allen had the best reply 'May your God go with you'.

[@malahammer]

@@51WCDodge he was way ahead of everyone with that line.

[@51WCDodge]

@@malahammer At the end of every show. Brilliant man.

[@jamesbrowne6351]

Well he was an agnostic and he died a few years ago. My favorite bit of his was Jesus standing at the front door of a man knocking and shouting "Jeremy! Jeremy! Let me in I want to save you!" Jeremy repied, "Save me from what?" Said the Lord, "From what I'm gonna do to you if you don't let me in!"