Dave Allen - religious jokes

Irish comedian Dave Allen tells a series of religious jokes.

[@user-lt9py2pu6u]

Maybe just my age, but I find this stuff far funnier than anything around today. So glad that these comedies are still around to cheer me up.

[@EileenGoehring-lb8hy]

Loved Dave Allen watched all his showed 🙂♥️ R.I.P

[@landscapedetective4064]

Many, many years ago I was dating a young American lass who was studying in London. She had never heard of Dave Allen so, for a laugh, I took her to see him live. Admittedly he was slightly more risqué in his live performance and occasionally used the 'F' word but he was a complete showman and really knew how to play an audience. My date thought him hilarious, even when he cracked a few jokes at her expense (she had a particularly loud laugh). Anyway, when Allen reappeared for his encore he had with him a bottle of champagne and two glasses. He poured both glasses, then walked down into the audience and handed one to my date. She was overjoyed and squealed with delight. I was just thrilled to be so close to the great man. What a performance, what an evening and what a gentleman! His like will probably not be seen again.

[@mikeevers9079]

Just wow

[@williamhyde2310]

My dad was a devout Christian and he would howl with laughter at dave's monologues 😊

[@danw1374]

"And he sees thar adam is happy" followed by a pause. Perfect comedic timing.

[@dukeofoven]

Although Dave routinely had fun with different religions he was never bigoted, vicious, cruel, used foul language or had an iota of hate in him. He was hugely intelligent, thought provoking and could tell a story that had you from the first word to last. As a kid he was my favourite comic on tv - it's only when they're gone do you realise how special some folk are.

[@robashton5254]

Yes indeed

[@malcolmabram2957]

Now if he did this with Islam? Not a woke comment, just a perceived observation. I love the Lord Jesus, but hey, I can laugh. He is a genius. If God had an issue with this man, then He would have an issue with me, as I find him funny. As you say, there is no maliciousness in his humour. And I agree, just pure slapstick.

[@iandummer2502]

😊

[@thomaswigfield7623]

@@malcolmabram2957 Malice, not maliciousness.

[@lindafarnes486]

He didn't use fiwl language because it wasn't allowed on tv back then. He did droo a clanger in I think a Parkinson intwrview once. They bleeoed it out for tv. Having had the pkeasure if seeing him twice on stage I can tell you he was certainly foul mouthed. But, really funny. My Grandma was Irish Catholic and taught by nuns. She had all her children baptised as C of E or who ever else was available at the time.

[@annazaman9657]

The fact that even the Catholics loved him just goes to show his total genius

[@roberthenderson760]

Sadly missed, My goodness we need a Dave Allen these days. I am living in a dystopian nightmare devoid of true comedy.

[@writeract2]

This man is genuinely brilliantly brilliantly funny - amazing he was never in States - and there is no one anywhere near like him today or in recent decades past. Skits are brilliantly acted and done.

[@dusterss6290]

If you mean USA by states, they would have burned him alive, then sued and deported

[@philster611-ih8te]

Nobody did religious jokes better than Dave Allen......They were hilarious and tasteful......

[@johnking5174]

+philster611 Much better than people like Bill Maher, Ricky Gervais or Jimmy Carr who do religious jokes, Dave had a down to earth approach. He never ridiculed anyone's belief in a God, it was religion and the rules and the stupidity of religion which he detested, and did not have any quarrel with people who believed in an afterlife/deity.

[@PanglossDr]

+philster611 Just funny

[@philster611-ih8te]

PanglossDr Yups....Classy and just funny...

[@TheRadioAteMyTV]

I love Dave Allen and his jokes are wonderful, but I think Eddie Izzard is a good run for the money with the religious jokes. Eddie's are pretty classic too. The both do them from the cerebral approach.

[@ernestinemaloy2820]

No swearing or dirty talk either ...and...he was a staunch ATHEIST...I loved how he ended each show with good night and may your god go with you...very democratic...rest in peace Dave allen...loved and missed

[@GeoffreyJohns]

possibly the best sit down comic ever

[@Turrican60]

No, not "possibly" - Dave is simply the greatest and will never be beaten.

[@mizofan]

even better standing up.

[@ryandevlin8274]

Hey, he literally sits down :p

[@seanalbin]

Agree

[@anaccount8474]

One of the greatest comedian/philosophers ever.

[@wishmaster7438]

Dave Allen was my favourite comedian during the 1970s.

[@deby7821]

Ok..as the ("good") Catholic girl I am, I am hooked..I haven't laughed this hard in a long long time, thank you !😂🤣😅

[@tonysuffolk4651]

I am old enough to have enjoyed Dave Allen first time round. As a youngster I was becoming very doubtful about religion but was not articulate enough to discuss it in my social environment. Suddenly this guy appeared on TV and became a witty advocate for atheism. I took a lot of comfort from this. Dave Allen, you were a great guy.

[@mihaimilan9598]

I had a similar experience with George Carlin and later on, once I moved to the UK, I discovered Dave. A man of true elegance and grace, of razor sharp with and eloquence. His humour I believe was a product of his many other qualities, and he was superb at it. I to this day speak in a rather peculiar manner for someone my age, particularly because as a young man I tried to emulate people like Allen. I'm glad to hear you found your comfort in knowing atheists can be funny, kind and cheerful. I sure am.

[@y_fam_goeglyd]

I must be a similar age to you. If Dave Allen was on TV, my parents would let me watch it, even when I hadn't reached 10, but I wasn't allowed to talk. We laughed a lot, but nary a word was spoken, not even in the silent sketches like the best one ever (shown in this video. I couldn't tell you how often I've watched it!) After the show, we talked all about it!

[@Bamsebrakar2011]

I remember vividly the weekly Dave Allen show as the highlight of TV humour in my early youth.

[@ianbartle456]

​@@y_fam_goeglyd Respect! Sounds like when Dave was on, it was time for a humorous sermon.

[@robbiesize]

Loved this man as a growing kid. Love the nose g string idea. Public broadcasting at its finest.

[@dianahusband6160]

Thank you. I forgot how wonderful Dave's humor is. I used to see him on Sunday nights just before Dr Who. I am so happy to have seen this.

[@dem3850]

This guy was great. He became known in Australia before UK. A very funny man, I hope he's at peace now.

[@N.I.R.A.T.I.A.S.]

That sketch of the two funeral parties racing to get to the graveyard first is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

[@NxDoyle]

The man was singularly talented. He was story teller, joke teller, stand up comedian, sit down comedian, satirist, sketch writer & performer and actor. And he enjoyed nothing more than hosting large gatherings at the family home and making sure both adults and children had a wonderful time.

[@sashamusgrave5186]

Dave Allen was the greatest comedian who ever lived. May he rest in peace. forever missed and remembered X

[@lonestar6709]

_"I see a snake, I'll back off. One starts talking, I'll crap myself!"_ Man alive, was Dave Allen great.

[@blaisemorris7601]

He was a friend of my father during the 1970s and the fun they had with one other with their mutual friend was legendary. RIP to all three.

[@Lee-nh5bb]

I wish you could tell us a little more! Did your father work in the television industry?

[@PetrieRobert]

As a small boy, I didn't really get the humour, but was awed by the sophistication and adult nature of his show. I reached for understanding. As an adult, today, I'm glad to say I'm not disappointed - bravo and thanks Dave Allen.

[@claesaxelsson8817]

Probably the best comedian ever. Just sitting there and is just so funny

[@TheComputec]

I loved the pope joke about the black cat... just about sums it up for me

[@SiliconBong]

+TheComputec Dave Allen doing green screen before green screen was green screen :)

[@AlexanderMacAoidh]

What did he mean

[@SiliconBong]

dxhangover I've not seen.

[@pausvandelilithkerk6315]

+TheComputec he stole that joke from H.L Mencken. Th qoute goes :" A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it."

[@ergbudster3333]

+paus van de Lilith Kerk Yes, well, there's no such thing as a comic who doesn't steal jokes. Besides, it ain't the joke, it's the telling of it. Dave has impecable timing. And look at that shtick with the missing finger and the glass of booze. Will he knock it off the stand with his gesturing? How soon before he knocks it off?

[@charleshoernemann8661]

Nobody could ridicule religion like Dave Allen. Miss you Dave...

[@rjhyllevictor]

Charles Hoernemann Guess you havent seen George Carlin?

[@mabenstein1]

and george carlin

[@Cheepchipsable]

George Carlin was too preachy, (ironically). Dave was ridiculing local beliefs and the world he grew up in.

[@GIRLSMAKE12334]

Cheepchipsable George was justifiably scathing and vitriolic.

[@GIRLSMAKE12334]

Cheepchipsable and no he was not “preachy”.

[@gotonkar]

Brilliant on so many levels: comedy, social commentary, and of course religion.

[@jayedgardyson1920]

Utter genius... And way, way ahead of his time.

[@lightawake]

Can't agree more. Sadly persecuted a couple of times during his career, for his comedy involving religion and swearing, otherwise he, no doubt, would have created so much more.

[@danw1374]

He was actually banned from irish tv in the early 70s for his jokes about the catholic church, yet it was my irish grandmother, herself a devout catholic who adored dave allen and found his jokes about religion hilarious.

[@geofo60]

He was a man of his time. A time when we could take the piss out of one another & laugh. Couldn't happen now, we're all scared of our own shadows.

[@gurianboy]

A Ward u

[@aight365]

Yessir

[@frglee]

Aaah they don't make 'em like Dave Allen any more,do they? I can remember his programmes back in the late 60's with my whole family sitting watching as if Dave Allen was sitting in the living room with us. A great story teller, very warm, very human, very funny and much loved.

[@philipdurling1964]

Saw him live in London during the 1970's. I had tears of laughter running down my face for the entire show and left the theatre with sore ribs. I never laughed so much.

[@danw1374]

His observations of life were brilliant. And so true 🤣

[@connclissmann6514]

I can only say I'm jealous. I happily got to see him on TV at the time, but would have loved to see him live.

[@ianbartle456]

Yes - like Billy Connolly, he should have come with a health warning.

[@delord1619]

This is one of the very few things I miss, not having a TV... every Saturday night, Inez and I would sit back and watch BBC reruns and howl with laughter. Dave Allen was our favorite.

[@sonny6733]

I remember seeing Dave Allen on the t.v., in the '70's, when I was a kid growing up. I liked him. Good memories.

[@crumpingtons]

They use to show Dave Allen at !arge on late night tv here in the us in the late 70s, early 80s. A big hit at our house!

[@hajjibarbara2900]

Brings back the good old days when there were only 4 channels. I used to stumble upon this gem of a show late at night on PBS when there was nothing on ABC, CBS, or NBC.

[@priscillacook6742]

I loved him as a kid and still love him...RIP Dave Allan . Legend

[@EngineeringVignettes]

"Is that bloody nun out there again?", I actually remember that one from when i was in high school. One of my favorites.

[@shamganguly8091]

No one ever came nearer to Dave Allen as a comedian. His wit ,way of storytelling , timing and brilliant sketches is unparalleled. He used to keep audiences in his palm. I have watched him from his begging to end. The most intelligent comedian ever.

[@kurington.blogspot7876]

The moment he plays God watching Adam... and he sees Adam is happy.... pure comedy gold.

[@schidrach]

Man, I'm glad I found this channel! What a funny guy! Thanks for the upload.

[@LeafInTheStream]

I'd forgotten all about this guy. I used to watch him as a 13 year-old on Canadian TV, but beyond that I couldn't remember any specifics. Clicking on this video, I had no idea what to expect. Excellent. Great entertainer, a real urbane wit. They don't make 'em like this anymore. Thanks for sharing this video. A real trip down memory lane.

[@ianwilliams6042]

I'd forgotten how funny Dave Allen was. Not only timeless, but actually more relevant today.

[@dsbeerf]

Ian Williams I had forgotten all about him. how awesome to find vids of him here!

[@tonyrestall2371]

a capella singing please

[@rogerunderhill4267]

Ian Williams I find I can’t watch a lot of the comedies from that era anymore. But as you rightly point out, this is timeless and still really funny :) I remember those nights as a young kid listening to him and laughing... ;)

[@the_best_of_times]

Goes to demonstrate that some things just dont change.

[@catwoman7462]

If he'd been around today he'd have been cancelled because he would have made fun of that other religion nobody is allowed to make fun of.

[@angr3819]

Thank you. Sadly missed. Best comedian ever and we did have some fantastic ones.

[@jackgee7355]

That cat joke is probably the best thing ever to come out of a comics mouth 😂 absolute class act

[@frisco21]

I remember this guy from the 70s. He had some great material and an excellent delivery.

[@douglashedberg7414]

One of the best stand up comedian all time

[@marsvltor2]

+Douglas Hedberg 'Sit down' comedian, surely!!!

[@douglashedberg7414]

I saw him live in London and he stand up;-)

[@sethwetzel974]

That was really funny and I loved the part where they were racing with the coffins to bury the people!!!! Hilarious!!!!! I still got tears from that one!!!!!!! Thank you DutchPastaGuy for posting this!!!!! You take care my friend!!!!!

[@DutchPastaGuy]

+richard cranium Most welcome. :)

[@antonofaolain7366]

My Irish Catholic father absolutely adored Dave Allen and especially loved his parodies of his beloved religion.

[@olivem.9588]

He saved my father's life!

[@Jonqen]

@@olivem.9588 How come?

[@olivem.9588]

@@Jonqen Dave Allen helped revive my father's spirit during the difficult days of the Troubles and the time after my father became a widower in his early 50s etc.

[@Jonqen]

@@olivem.9588 That sounds lovly. I'm sorry for all your father had to go through

[@davidkavanagh8175]

Just typed in best stand up comics, and this man is the greatest of all time.

[@miscellaneous.7127]

Dave Allen is fantastic!!!

[@acyour]

DAVE ALLEN has always been my favorite comedian!!!! thank you

[@nickjonesCSM]

A god of comedy, always always the funniest man ever.

[@brendacreighton9518]

Sorry to read that this funny man is gone. I used to watch his show when I was in high school, late night. Haven't seen him in years. Glad to have found this video. Thanks for posting from Canada.

[@alnwick00]

I had forgotten about this guy. He was always funny. Thanks for sharing.

[@fatbelly27]

The coffin sketch from 8:35 is a brilliant piece of silent comedy. The 70s was a great era for tv comedy.

[@trent0heart]

Benny hill, the Pythons, Sullivan, Allan. Hell, I think Saturday night Live first aired in the 70's. Good times.

[@jelt110]

Dave was a true class act, I really miss this.

[@notthatguy1447]

I grew up watching him on PBS. He entertained as well as informed and enlightened my young mind.

[@MasterJTLS]

That funeral sketch is sheer genius!!!

[@Curator134]

I grew up watching Dave Allen he was and is my hero!

[@engineeredlifeform]

I used to watch him as a kid in the 70s, and his stuff is still relevant today.

[@anthonywhelan5419]

We were a strict Irish Catholic family but my dad loved Dave Allen. I saw him live in Melbourne, Australia and injured my leg from laughing so much. The Catholic clergy loved him too, especially the confession sketches.

[@melianna999]

We only can hope that God has great sense of humor.

[@ianbartle456]

@@melianna999 Oh I believe he has - who do you think was inspiring Dave! Could only BE God - or if not, that, er, other guy. My money's on GOD.

[@melianna999]

@@ianbartle456 We know when we get there.

[@AlecTaylor40]

Im a scotsman but i loved dave allen, he was a comic genius Even though i am a god fearing catholic..

[@NickW58]

The moment, and the way he says, "and he sees that Adam's happy" is complete comedic brilliance. By the way, I'm a 33 year-old atheist and have only just discovered this guy. Needless to say my day has just been made.

[@abigaila8979]

+Nick Webb great taste! Dave Allen was the leading man at all times in my youth. Next was Dick Emery. Later I discovered Ben Elton May you have many days of wicked satisfying comedy to come Nick

[@orionred2489]

+Nick Webb I used to watch this in the early 80s. I didn't realize what an atheist was. I just realized today, that this guy was an atheist.

[@Areyousayingidontknowmyname]

+Nick Webb He was a firm fav when i was a kid. The way he told jokes was spectacular. No wonder i am a Atheist. I learnt from the best

[@mcguipa]

+Nick Webb cant believe I haven't come across him till today. Irish atheist 35. Dick emery as well.

[@EvolBob1]

+Nick Webb - Yes, so silly god is trying to tell a woman what not to do... so there is this complete contradiction - of omnipotence missing the point. And Dave Allen doesn't need to say a word to explain it. I'd love to hear this joke at a Feminist convention...and if any laughed.

[@paulgreen1050]

Pure comedy genius 🤣 rip 🙏 Dave Allen .

[@edithbannerman4]

@Hello there, how are you doing this blessed day?

[@LW1Tok]

I just discovered this guy and I just love him already.

[@senorkaboom]

In the late 70's, a station out of Smell A, channel 9, I believe, ran Dave Allen At Large at 11:00 and my dad loved the show. He enjoyed the way Allen told a joke and his comedy skits. Watching this makes me think of my dad and hearing him laugh.

[@dsbeerf]

senorkaboom For a while, Dave Allen At Large was run late night on PBS in Chicago. Used to laugh my ass off at this man and his genius. No, there is nobody even close. And he didn't have to swear to get his point across.

[@paulsmith1879]

senorkaboom Grew up watching him with my dad in the 70s, and took my dad to see him live in the 90s, thought my old man was going to literally die laughing at one stage😂. Fond memories as they are both now no longer with us. Dave Allen is one of the top 3 for me along with a Bill Hicks and Eddie Izard.

[@FrAntixBeat]

A family favourite. He was my idol when I was a kid.

[@13vanhalen]

dave allen he is more funnier than most comics today

[@georgebarnes5438]

Slight correction Dean, Dave Allen is funnier than ANY comedian today.

[@w.kamaranjoku1712]

George Barnes no, I must disagree.

[@mizofan]

Who is funnier today?

[@icanspotnything5brand751]

@@georgebarnes5438 Great Answer

[@paulyeomans850]

All.

[@markdowse3572]

Dave Allen is the bee's knees! He is awesome. I have been laughing at his jokes for 40 years! His delivery and timing are perfect.

[@randyhutchinson9910]

Mark Dowse the cats pajamas

[@leishayoung4124]

"He sees that Adam is happy..." - OMFG where has this man been all my life? Why have I never heard of him? Why???

[@maxwellfan55]

Been no one like him since. Quality and talent.

[@MegaWelshie1]

I think it's wonderful that I live in a society where I can actually laugh out loud about religion without any fear at all. My thoughts are with the families of those who lost their lives today in Paris.......

[@TheTeddyZerg]

Hopefully they didn't get buried on the same day.

[@user-ko9tf2by9l]

Hi guys im arab is this a bad time ? :)

[@user-ko9tf2by9l]

***** lol​​​ well im not a Muslim im atheist . But i notice that ppl using the word arab in the charlie hepdo death video . This is just like watching black guy killing a white guy and saying those black ppl are horrible and criminals :(

[@robleary3353]

Absolutely brilliant!... Still laugh out loud after all these years. Still relevant today!. 🤣 Nuff said!.

[@paddymuppy]

Best Irish 🇮🇪 comedian

[@mjw12345]

Tough to rate - certainly with the greatest, like Spike, George Carlin.

[@nunyabusiness5400]

I watched Dave as kid - decades ago & I can still watch the same sketches / listen to him & STILL laugh myself stupid. Dave, you gave the world endless joy & I'll miss you 'til my last day. THANK YOU!!

[@RVRayRay]

My pops used to watch Dave Allen all the time when I was a kid and he would laugh non-stop. I didn’t think Dave Allen was funny until I grew up. This man is a legend!

[@johnsinclair2231]

Those were the days no PC just fun what a loss if the world only listened to him we would not be in this miss RIP DAVE

[@mamamheus7751]

Great collection. I remember these shows back in the 70s and 80s. Amazingly, I was allowed to stay up past 9 on a Saturday to watch him (when I was about 10). I think it was because I couldn't get to sleep until after the show ended because my parents were laughing so loud 😂 Thanks for the upload!

[@ianbartle456]

Classic! I had a somewhat similar experience watching in Australia.

[@pradipthomas8779]

He was a household favourite. My father enjoyed his irreverence and his glass of whisky. Thankful to folks like Allen who have given us so many laughs.

[@edithbannerman4]

@Hello there, how are you doing this blessed day?

[@alittleinall7745]

Dave Allen was second to none,unforgettable tv shows!thank you for posting. It´s always worthy seeing!

[@catholiccrusader5328]

Growing up Irish-Catholic must have been a very negative experience for a lot of Irish people. I'm a black Catholic but went to an Irish-Catholic grammar school. It was the most traumatic time in my life. I'm still a devout Catholic but I made sure that none of my kids went to religious schools and that doesn't only apply to Catholic ones, I attended a Presbyterian college for a trimester; same experience. Like a Jewish doctor friend of mine once said "I love GOD it's HIS 'employees' that I don't like;" my exact sentiments.

[@ezekielbennetts1093]

If i had kids no way am i putting them in a public school with the craziness these days

[@farouqomaro598]

Not just growing up Catholic. Growing up in some other religions as well

[@florenceobrien2822]

I agree had terrible time with nuns growing up nasty

[@RickSuaz]

You are a black Catholic? Like you are a black person who is Catholic????

[@honest....]

​@@melianna999 you fucking idiot you pray to god not to holy priests there are no holy priests you brainwashed headcase

[@andreastewart8871]

Absolutely brilliant!! One of my favourites

[@LYLEWOLD]

"God saw Adam. Adam looked happy. (pause)" HILARIOUS. you know what's coming after that. I wish I'd known of dave allen before today, and (more importantly) that he was still around. thanks for posting this.

[@pizzalover885]

I've known of him only today in 2019.

[@paulberesford9360]

An absolute comic genius who truly stands the test of time.

[@ferrinadelfini5800]

One of my favorite comedian, I never tire of watching him!

[@wafldread2770]

Dave Allen was one of the greatest stand ups of all time. His monologes were amazing & a joy to watch..

[@nunyabusiness5400]

Sorry - he was THE greatest. No one has ever come close. I know some folk will disagree :D

[@robinblackmoor8732]

​@@nunyabusiness5400yeah, I disagree. I am thinking you never saw Billy Connolly.

[@nunyabusiness5400]

I did see connolly.. Dave still did it for me...each to our own.

[@SneakyShark]

Happy memories as a kid watching Dave Allen as a family. Still love him to this day :)

[@neilswift2203]

Legend. The Adam and Eve monologue where he said "and God see's that Adam was happy" hit home with me.

[@alixena9340]

I am glad that my Dad used to watch this guy when I was a kid, it made me think about the topics Dave Allen talks about instead of just believing what I was told. Funny thing is, my Dad went on to become a lay preacher. And that last gag at the end about the wall in Heaven I still quote today. Sums up religion to me.

[@RobF3003]

God Bless Dave Allen. After He's finished telling him off, of course.

[@gmaccruyff55]

In the 70s we had Dave Allen on TV! Now we have knobs like Chris Evans on TV!

[@Paulfieldz]

+gmaccruyff55 you have a knob like chris evans ?

[@kevinmcguffin7069]

+gmaccruyff55 . We use a remote on our tv. no knobs.

[@fortuner123]

The only reason they are interested in suffering his ginger haired knob is for his money.

[@cogidubnus1953]

+Alix van Durand... I love Dave Allen, but think Chris Evans is mostly a prick...I regard this as perfectly normal behaviour

[@user-ow6vv3pn3v]

Oh come on thats just a nostalgia thing.Look at Ricky Gervais for example.He's just an amazing comedian.

[@TheMarkthatis]

A novice nun joins a convent, she is shown her simple room with a mattress and blanket and has one meal a day. She has taken a vow of silence but once a year can speak only 2 words. The end of the first year she goes before the mother superior and says "more food", another year goes by and she goes before the mother superior and says "more blankets". At the end of the third year she goes again before the mother superior and says "can't stay", the mother superior says "thank God you've done nothing but complain since you got here".

[@DutchPastaGuy]

+Mark Ford nice. re-posted elsewhere. :)

[@inflatablemattress2]

Mark Ford

[@dsbeerf]

Mark Ford Yep, I heard Dave Allen tell that one. Quite funny. ;^D

[@purger176]

Mark Ford 🤣😂🤣!

[@AmberAmber]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@sun3011]

loved these!!!! best EVER!!!

[@charlesstone591]

A priest is walking home from work, when he sees a small boy in the street with a box of kittens. "Wow, there's some cute kittens you've got there, son!" Says the priest"Yes, they're Christian kittens" The boy replies "Aw, thats sweet" A week later, the same priest is walking back from a church meeting with his friend, when he sees the same boy with his kittens. "Judy, go and ask that boy what he's got in that box. He's got the cutest answer" Said the man Judy walks over to the boy and asks: "Hey, what do you have there? Those kittens are so sweet" "Yes" Replies the boy "They're Atheist kittens" "What?" Said the priest "Last week you said they were Christian kittens" "Yeah, but now their eyes are open" Replied the boy

[@julienielsen3746]

Should be the other way around.

[@julienielsen3746]

If their eyes were open they would know Jesus.

[@stevenrobertson8866]

@@julienielsen3746 😂😂😂 best joke I've seen today

[@seansteel3326]

LOL !!

[@mikakorhonen5715]

@Claudia T What kind of drugs are you using? Say no to priest when they next time try to sell their bullshit.

[@aviewtoill]

Comedy at it's best, sadly missed

[@hamdsheikh9205]

Yehp, one of the very few people who actually know how to make jokes, many famous "comedians" these days just throw around some insults with no wit and for some reason are called funny...

[@JanetteBuhler]

+Hamd Sheikh --> True that!

[@EvilSean62]

totally ... i find the current trend of "lets see who can say a naughty word " ... imbecilic and childlike .. ultimately it sets its own boundary too ... when you have oushed the boundary to the limit and beyond ... then where do you go ?

[@jaid2383]

Evil Sean Even further - it's called progress/moving forward.

[@EvilSean62]

yes i agree ... but if you take that to its logical conclusion ... thats not a happy place .. all humour would be pushed as far forward as possible ... so , just people throwing shit at each other naked whilst orgasming and screaming obscenities really ... maybe ok for some people , i like my stuff slightly more cerebral with occasional dick jokes and pie throwing...peace

[@writerconsidered]

I remember this guy so long ago. He's hilarious thank you now I know his name and here he is all over youtube. I can watch him again.

[@lm7bird680]

At a Catholic Sunday school a group of students were asked what they wanted to be when they grow up. The first kid said I want to be a firefighter, another said I want to be a priest, and this girl said, "I want to be a prostitute". The nun looks at the child in utter horror and says "You want to be a what?" The girl responds "a prostitute". The nun sighs relief and says "Good, for a second I thought you said you wanted to be a protestant."

[@DutchPastaGuy]

+Matt McAvay lol. reposted elsewhere.

[@demolitionman8276]

Oh that's... Wow

[@saintpine]

At a Catholic Sunday school a group of students were asked what job their mother was involved in, a girl said, "uhm... substitute". The nun looks at the child in utter horror and says "you mean pro.... uhm ?" The girl responds "no that's my sister, she's a prostitute, my mother substitutes her when necessary".

[@joannaschurmann3060]

saintpine n mm kind. Soft porn C

[@terraconensis2317]

Catholicism is a pagan religion. It is not Christianity. The Bible is the truth

[@patricklamshear6662]

An Irish legend that will never be replaced.

[@trent0heart]

This man was a Gentleman, a Bro and a Sir. May he rest peacefully, feasting and boozing forever in the halls of Valhalla. ....The Viking afterlife always made more sense to me: a kick-ass eternal party celebrating the fact that you survived Life and all the strangeness therein.

[@BanditoBurrito]

Katherine Daniel Even though I'm Atheist, I really think that has to be one of the most badass religions of all time.

[@MaryMartinish]

Katherine Daniel oh my goodness, you are on ICE, right? There is really no true kick-ass party in this life unless you are completely mad...and then it does not last long...

[@trent0heart]

Maree Martin Therein lies the fun of Valhalla, the party that comes AFTER life.

[@DutchPastaGuy]

+Maree Martin Ah, the denigration of the life we have here on our little planet. How pessimistic and full of misery a world viewAbrahamic religion inspires. Sp glad more and more people (at least in the West) are dropping it.

[@annhalliday5259]

Katherine Daniel how

[@fionacampbell3751]

This guy was a legend I am catholic and watched him from a very early age

[@jaydentownsend5402]

That joke about the bishop's shoes is probably the best Catholic Joke I heard all my life.

[@john-peterhundt5662]

A priest and a minister and a rabbit go into a pub. "I think I'm a typo" says the rabbit.