A Feast for Crows - Chapter 36 - Cersei VIII

From George RR Martin's "A Feast for Crows"
If you like what you're hearing, be sure to check out my channel, where you can find all of my A Song of Ice and Fire recorded chapters in order in playlists! And leave a comment! I don't care about any youtube algorithm reach nonsense but I love hearing from people who are listening!
I am in no sense a professional reader, voice actor, or what have you. I began this audiobook project some years ago when some friends of mine jokingly said they'd read A Song of Ice and Fire (my favorite fantasy series) if I personally recorded the whole series in audiobook form and sent it to them. Having now made my way almost through the first two books in the series, I decided to join the small community of people who post their own amateur audibook readings to youtube, and share my efforts.
I have no intention of profiting off of the work that is copyrighted to George RR Martin. This upload is a tribute to a series I deeply love, and I strongly encourage you to purchase these books. You won't regret it.
Also I should give full credit to my cat, Claudio, for the frequent background meows and purring sounds you hear throughout.
Art by crisurdiales www.deviantart...

[@Alknix]

Cersei: Tommen is too meek, he needs to toughen up. Tommen: *Stands up to his mother* Cersei: How dares he! I need to browbeat him into submisson by the most fucked-up means possible!

[@DavidReadsASoIaF]

Yeah Cersei is so cool 😀

[@comradestannis]

@@DavidReadsASoIaF Girlboss!

[@thesamejackalsniperthatkil117]

​@@comradestannis sigma female

[@queenesther09]

She is pretty much insane by now and almost always wasted, so I think she’s incapable of any logical reasoning whatsoever.

[@claudiatejada7889]

Cersei is the definition of "am I the asshole"

[@andrewparsons2391]

Myself I doubt that cersei has the self-reflection to bother to ask herself that question, as it implies that the asker is aware of the possibility of being wrong

[@claudiatejada7889]

@@andrewparsons2391 I agree with you on that front but I think I meant this as the person that is actually the asshole but just say it like that to gain sympathy points. More like they set themselves up.

[@takemywordforit4128]

Cersei's comment section always be bussin.

[@comradestannis]

I've noticed lol

What does bussin mean

[@jorikrouwenhorst7220]

Bussin. “What you would say if something was really good.” Urban Dictionary.

[@RossOzarka]

omg can't believe along with everything else happening in this series there is also a board game craze going on

[@mtlacunae8659]

Even the lesser nobility wanna get in on the game of thrones craze.

[@jamienava6750]

TV show Cercei is a Saint compared to her book counterpart.

[@wins2677]

agreed

[@iamsheel]

The show Cersei is a very likable character. I only hated her in the first watch (until I catched up with the 4th season) but then I started to like her. But that would never be with book Cersei.

[@EnderWarden]

"When cersei kissed the little queen, she could taste the salt of her tears" How genius

[@adamcain8949]

Why?

[@EnderWarden]

@@adamcain8949 its her way of feeling Margery's suffering. Literally consuming her tears.

[@GabryB92]

@@adamcain8949 it's like when Cartman licked the tears o unfathomable sadness from Scott Tennorman's cheeks. It's a taste of victory.

[@AlfieVsLion]

@@GabryB92 literally the first thing that came to my mind to, fellow person of culture 🧐

[@jer2689]

​@@GabryB92a grown woman pulling off a cartman is too funny

[@MeetThaNewDealer]

Cersei is quickly becoming my favorite POV character

[@dablackangel]

Yea... I love the Lannister's chapters. Particularly Cersei and Jaime's chapters.

[@VSES-99293]

Same

[@idunnygiveafock7640]

I think it's funny how much she plays into everyone's hands, but especially Illyrio. By the end of dragons she's literally only in power because of how terrible she is at it.

[@mikmoss88]

I actually find it hard not to skip over them, she really is irritatin

[@jacobsquare4812]

Bran and Rickon were also "burned," easy way to fake an identity while the real one goes off to fight for something he actually cares about.

[@Seven_Leaf]

The author likes to keep near or supposed deaths ambiguous, in case he wants to write them in later on for an important plot point. Unless someone's PoV sees their heads on a pike or something, better to just consider them mia or just wounded; Jon, Quentyn, Loras etc. Even then there's glamour in this story.

[@vlpinfinity9448]

You did a great job! Luved your voice acting for Tommen, so proud of him for standing up to Cersei.

[@dominicmccullough6133]

Always thought Jeoffrey was horrible for no reason but now I know it was Cersei fault

[@beesmitty3435]

Yes. Crazy take, but listening to the books now imo I think the actress in the show made cersei more human. She was so hateable in the show but you had a few scenes she seemed vulnerable and that led me to think her cruelty was more impressed upon her than wanted.. But God damn is she vile in the books. And she likes it. It ALMOST even explains her 'character' in the last two seasons, she's like a dog cat hing the car, of course she does nothing, her finally having all the power(in her head at least) is all she ever really wanted to be. A ruler w tyrannical unquestionable power and that high is paralyzing. Fm for trying to rationalize the last seasons at all. I often find myself laughing during the cersei chapters, it's just so dark I end up finding much black humor in her depravity.

[@titolopez6754]

When a Targaryen is born the gods flip a coin. Cersei didn't help but it's not all her fault

[@kingofdragons7]

​@@titolopez6754 they are not Targaryen tho, they are Lannisters

[@titolopez6754]

@@kingofdragons7 it has more to do with the sibling aspect of it than the last name

[@kingofdragons7]

@@titolopez6754 still don't know what the Targaryens have to do with them

[@renaigh]

Tyrion's hands are far too small to strangle, but a Hand of Gold is always Cold...

[@DavidReadsASoIaF]

"Prophecy will bite your prick off every time."

[@rapidroadsode8789]

He did just fine with Shae tho . Where there is a Will there is a way. But I certainly believe it will be the thin line between live and hate that Jamie crosses that will be her ultimate demise . Poor bastard is tortured by a cruel, heartless, she beast that he actually is in love with .

[@PedroLucas-mg5je]

"Because hands of gold are cold, but woman's hands are warm", but this time the golden hands will be the warm ones while the woman's will be cold!

[@bvici22]

Shae was wearing the hands of gold necklace shaking in the hands tower as he strangled her with hands of Gold. Cerci’s madness is bringing her prophecy true. She started it the night she shoved Melera down the well Cersei took her friend's words to heart; if no one talks about the prophecy it can’t come true but shes making it come true.

[@IngTomT]

26:50 Geeez, I wonder where Joffrey had his sadism from, it's a mystery

[@valcade]

Poor poor Tommen. It makes me think she might have started abusing him years ago.

[@Argos-xb8ek]

This was different Tommen in her eyes has tried to take her power defied her and after all the times Cersei has been denied direct power she lashed out to the boy viciously.

[@kennyhudson9201]

No wonder Tommen didn't really care when the Septon took her.

[@sgauden02]

Valonqar is not Tyrion, I'm certain it's going to be Jamie, since he's technically a few minutes younger than her. Just imagine the look on Cersei's face when she finally realizes that she's been barking up the wrong tree her whole life.

[@brainstorm9560]

I actually suspect it is Tyrion. I think the valonqar is a self fulfilling prophecy. Cercei think Tyrion was the valonqar so she hated him and tried to have him killed so now Tyrion hates her and wants to rape & murder her, its litterally his only reason to live anymore.

[@sgauden02]

@@brainstorm9560 That IS possible as well. However, there's another possibility. The prophecy said the valonqar, the little brother, would kill Cersei. It never specifically said that it was HER little brother.

[@PedroLucas-mg5je]

@@sgauden02 It can be Euron, Sandor and even Daenerys for all we know!

[@Argos-xb8ek]

I've been saying this for a while. It would be totally ironic that with all her maneuvering Cersei inevitably meets the valonquar that isn't related to her at all and is actually just someone that she screwed over without a second thought i.e. Kettleback

[@sgauden02]

@@Argos-xb8ek Or how about if it was revealed that Maggy The Frog was a fraud, and the whole prophecy was bullshit. So Cersei's lifelong paranoia was all for nothing.

[@romanyukhaev4549]

"If Lord Tywin could see me now he would know he has an heir" 😂😂😂😂😂

[@joegarrison5911]

Tywin would exile her for all this nonsense

[@maddyg2320]

I love Cersei's POV chapters. She's beyond delusional, and the irony is that she really believes that she's clever. No wonder Tywin was determined to get rid of her & later her uncle Kevan as well. Jamie needs to save her from herself before more damage is done!

[@jomckellan]

She needed dragged from Tommen, kicking and screaming if need be, lest Joffrey 2.0 enter the world

[@ladymorrigan5950]

She honestly believes she’s ‘Tywin with tits’ and everyone else sees through that. It’s sad & silly.

[@maddyg2320]

@@ladymorrigan5950 💯

[@TraciPeteyforlife]

Nothing can save Cersei from herself. She's mentally off her rocker so far. That she's jumping off it with flips. She's insane to the maximum. Her B power is off all known charts.

[@jessp8238]

@@TraciPeteyforlifeNot the flips 😂

[@RK-dc2es]

I love how often your cat wants to join in

[@santsi7306]

Thinking about sweet baby faced Tommmen, who loves his Ser Pounce and seems to be soft of heart. Makes me think of my little boy, and that little boy having to beat so.e other poor child bloody would scar him. What an awful mother.

[@VSES-99293]

Lol Cersei is so twisted, I love her chapters

[@comradestannis]

They *are* quite entertaining.

[@adamcahoon6362]

after reading these POV chapters, I am convinced that Tommen is the Volanqar who will strangle her after realizing how she has made his life a living hell; probably as Faegon marches to the Red Keep but that is beside the point.

[@danibee9943]

Love how you read "Loras Tyrell was dying with gleeful malice" at 3:45. Great work!

[@abrarbw]

Poor poor Tommen.

[@brainstorm9560]

41:35: Wow, Cersei was actually right about something for once.

[@comradestannis]

Shocking, actually.

[@mikmoss88]

Cersei is a vile, vain, evil person who thinks everything is supposed to go tha way it does in her head. She gets no sympathy from me. In fact I find it a hard listen whenever It's her turn

[@jenniferpearce1052]

It's not just her vileness. Every woman besides Brianne is voiced as whiny from this book forward. It makes any chapter with a lot of women a difficult listen.

[@TraciPeteyforlife]

I tend to skip Cersei's chapters or skim them. She's too big a B to handle in large doses.

[@prieterico]

​@@jenniferpearce1052tf? I've been hearing this audiobook version and most women sound different, not the least whiny except Arya. It's actually the only version voiced by a man where I can imagine a woman is talking by the way David changes his voice

[@beemoney217]

First Book: Catelyn=slow and gullible, accidentally starts a war Third book: Literally the smartest person in the whole book. She had so much good advice and no one listened to her because of her being "crazy widowed lady" First book Cersei= cunning, smart, manipulative, and trying to play the game Fourth book: stupid as hell by "accidentally" starting a war for no good reason at all and that is currently leading to the down fall of her house.

[@andrealyass8018]

What war did Cersei cause?

[@DominionSorcerer]

@@andrealyass8018 She hasn't started one yet. But all of her actions are designed to greatly provoke and anger the Tyrells.

[@andrealyass8018]

@@DominionSorcerer true it’s gonna be interesting to see what happens to Cersei during a winds of winter

[@FatherhoodAndFitness]

Seems a few of you have forgotten that it was her that saw Ned thrown into a cell. And stood idly by while Joff called for his head

[@IngTomT]

Accidentally??? Catelyn, thinking: There must not be a war Tyrion enters: Good day Lady Catelyn Catelyn: War it is!

[@BloodyFoxDK]

One more fun Cersei chapter. My guess Ser Loras Tyrell will survive but with scars similar to Hound.

[@andrewjennings7306]

Lol she says she will never say tyrions name but says it right after.

[@user-wq8sd2qc4u]

Cersei is a queen who plays the game like a pawn... And that is the tragedy of her story! Tywin never prepared her for rulership! But, he would still order the knees of deserters to be smashed in front of her... then become upset that Joffrey is rampantly cruel? Where did the cruelty START? It is logically OBVIOUS (but when is Tywin ever truly logical?) that Cersei's reign would degenerate into a parade of follies, given that Tywin did not include politics for war and peace in her education, include her in his councils to give her practical experience. Catelyn would receive this robust education and experience, but not Cersei... and that contrast is intentional. And it further reveals Tywin and his legacy to be nothing but shit, that he had a most assiduous student in Cersei, the eldest child who was most devoted to his ideals, Cersei who does not lack intelligence but has no judgement, Cersei who would become his legal heir, Cersei who as queen played a central role in Lannister legacy... and Tywin malprepared her so terribly that Cersei, alongside all the Lannister infighting, is undoing all Tywin's work. Tywin's legacy really is his family autocannibalising.

[@drnage4495]

Lmao no cersei absolutely lacks intelligence, she plays at the hands of power to satisfy petty grudges and paranoid delusions, not because she didn't get taught well enough. Tyrion was never groomed by his father, and he still understood the finer points of "don't tear apart the alliance your kingship and house needs to stay afloat to spite the new girl"

[@user-wq8sd2qc4u]

@@drnage4495 "she does not lack for wits, but she has no judgement, and no patience" Cersei correctly deduced that the Tyrells, including Margaery, assassinated her son... so she has the intellect to see what is happening around her, and even identified the motive also Tyrion WAS groomed (though not completely) by Tywin because Tyrion mentions long knowing that Kevan has always been Tywin's "vanguard" in council, meaning Tyrion has seen Tywin hold council enough to know how his father and brother operate... while Cersei's education by Tywin came from overhearing what he told Jaime

[@jessicawilliams2485]

@@user-wq8sd2qc4u She would have blamed any wife jofferys had at the Time because shes delusional. Margery didn't know about jofferys assassination Olenna said do you really think I would let you marry that monster or something along those lines to Margery showing Olenna knew not Margery.

[@jessicawilliams2485]

@@user-wq8sd2qc4ucersei is a fool anyone who did not essentially make her feel like she was the number one priority, she viewed as a threat and would shut them out. Thus, people who were actually good at their jobs would be replaced by someone incompetent, just because she felt like she could control that person.What it essentially comes down to is that every decision she made was a direct result of her fears and vanity, not any sort of grasp on the big picture or concern for the realm. She is the ultimate selfish ruler that's collapsing her own empire.

[@vanessasempireoftwigs198]

@@jessicawilliams2485 ur kind of right but like op pointed out this really can be laid at Tywin’s feet for not preparing any of his children. We can see reflected in Cersei that tywin thought his children owed him his legacy. He thought jamie owed him being his heir and he thought little of tyrion and cersei when he could have at least trained them to make better decisions and become useful right hands. But he didnt have any love for his kids just expectations. And he was super cruel too its no wonder cer and joff acted the way they did. I wonder what happened to tywin to make him like this.

[@noahs.6209]

God how creepy did you voice Maggy the frog? I love it.

[@chana613]

Poor tommen

[@thesamejackalsniperthatkil117]

Hopefully, jaime kills cersei. If not, tommen will, since he is also a valonqar to myrcella.

[@comradestannis]

Damn, I like how it's Moon Boy that coins the new High Septon's name.

[@BrownRecluse1738]

Yeah I wish they would have given him more of a spotlight in the show

[@bobbobson661]

Love it so much enjoying every day thank you 🙏

[@cassandraayersman6360]

Poor melara. Maggie smelled her death- cersei

[@Alex-hp1ht]

Love randomly hearing the cat in the background lol

[@comradestannis]

Same here!

[@comradestannis]

From the book: The old man blanched. “Y-your Grace japes. I . . . I have purged his lordship, bled him, treated him with poultices and infusions . . . the mists give him some relief and sweetsleep helps with the violence of his coughing, but he is bringing up bits of lung with the blood now, I fear.” “Be that as it may. You will return to Lord Gyles and inform him that he does not have my leave to die.”

[@spiffy_pegasus]

Your voice for maggy is amazing. Perfectly sounds like a frog

[@jorikrouwenhorst7220]

If there was a beat for the Valonqar prophecy I would put some money on Loras and Stannis. It’s probably not either of them but the odds on that would be astronomical.

[@queenesther09]

If this prophecy she's obsessed with didn't say that once her children die she's next, Cersei probably would have eliminated Tommen without batting an eye the minute he revealed he wasn't going to be a sadistic monster that hung on her every word. Joffrey was her favorite for a reason... she raised him to be just as twisted up inside as her.

[@dablackangel]

I still think the valonqar is either Jaime or Edmure Tully.

[@alchfan]

I think it's Jaime for sure, but the reading was interpreted incorrectly. I think, unfortunately, it will be much the same as the show and Jaime will come back to Cersei. We will perhaps never know though, unless George pulls his finger out.

[@1handedtyper]

I still thinks prophecy is a bunch of bologna.

[@dablackangel]

@@1handedtyper I think it depends who it comes from and how it is interpreted... there were a few times "prophecy" was accurate... such as Maggy telling Cersei shouldn't marry the Prince but that she would marry the King... and that he would have 13 (or however many) kids and she would have 3.... also Daenarys seeing the Red Wedding in the house of the undying. So I agree with you... some prophecies are questionable or just plain wrong... but some are more accurate.

[@ruqiatariq7700]

Why edmure tully??

[@dablackangel]

@@ruqiatariq7700 only because the prophesy says "the" little brother wrapping his hands around her throat and squeezing the life from her or something... and Catelyn thinks about wrapping her hands around Cersei's throat. That was my thought process.

[@ransakreject5221]

She really doesn’t like Dwarves.

[@BertRoer]

This picture looks very creepy

[@angelined9814]

Pedestrian

[@TonecrafteLuthiery]

Cersei is such a psychopath in this chapter.

[@thesamejackalsniperthatkil117]

Cersei will probably become as bad a ruler as aerys one day, mark my damn words she is the mad queen in the making.

[@rafmiranda516]

It is great the parralelism of Cersei 's dream and Neds

[@thewanderingartists]

What dream of Ned's ???

[@snickims9717]

​@@thewanderingartistsThe dream about the tower of joy, with him and his 6 men vs the three kingdguard

[@thewanderingartists]

@@snickims9717 thanks for the reminder!!

[@zaucyeli629]

Cersi so mad that she think everyone is a vile and treacherous as herself and then she says that lord Guyals doesn’t have her leave to Die like she has control over that🤣🤣 Nd she thinks that she is a better king then Robert and her fathers true heir 🤯🤯

[@renaigh]

I think Margaery is a Red Herring

[@renaigh]

@Big Peen could be Alayne.

[@andrealyass8018]

Definitely, but then again Cersei is so paranoid she suspects every woman who tries to be queen, first sansa than margery, the real threat to her is Daenarys

[@billyguyjoe1858]

@@andrealyass8018 the real threat to her is herself

[@kyantechristian9747]

Looking at different theories I feel like Aurane waters definitely lied about what happened to Loras. If taking Dragon stone really could’ve been done bloodless there’s no way someone who jaime entrusted with the command of the kings guard would send 1000 men to death especially knights and young lords. Then the story of him riding into battle with a morning star raises a big question. If anything I would say Aurane is bought and paid for by someone and this story is a bit of proof to that.

[@LesterSmooth]

One of the septas makes a weird comment about Loras to Cercei in a later chapter and the other septa tells her to stfu real quick, like as if Cersei isn't supposed to know whats up. Loras is definitely playing the game. It is obvious when read out loud, curious to see what Loras did.

[@AM-dd4zb]

Im calling it now. Cersei is not going to be strangled by Jamie nor Tyrion nor any Little Brother. Shes going to be poisoned with the Tears of Lys...

[@c_p1858]

Poisoned by who?

[@AM-dd4zb]

That one is tricky because the prophecy is so open to interpretation. If George wanted to get literal with it "Little Brother" it could be Tyrion, but I betting on it being Arya as she is learning how to make poisons @@c_p1858

[@AM-dd4zb]

@@c_p1858 ooh good one

[@TraciPeteyforlife]

Cersei is a full on moron. She brought back a military branch of the faith. An didn't realize that it wouldn't come back to bite her in the butt. Tywin should have removed her at the same time. He removed Joffery with the posion.

[@sadia13ful]

Cersei is not just cruel and vein but stupid....i don't get it why show maker wanted show her positive side...

[@austinpacheco1986]

Dumb and dumber wanted to make her misunderstood and more sympathetic.

[@vanessasempireoftwigs198]

Honestly i sometimes like show cersei more, she was a bit more complex, like jamie and tyrion. Sometimes she’s so evil here its almost too much.

[@moniquefrazier1381]

I wanna see tommun stand up to his momma

[@strangerrrrrrr]

poor pate 😭😭😭

[@eddieford9373]

Lord guiles has TB, right?

[@ryanboggs5919]

Holy shit Robert has 16 bastards? Lol I forgot that part

[@c_p1858]

had*, that number has been thoroughly reduced because of Joffrey’s orders

[@ryanboggs5919]

@c_p1858 good point. But I think you mean Cersei's orders. But anyway lol holy shit Robert settle down

[@fazediamond5671]

We don’t know if he actually had 16 kids Just 5 confirmed

[@dolorusedd2586]

28:39 Maggie the Frog's Prophecy

[@NightDweller]

Cersei and Euron might be a match made in heaven afterall

[@iamsheel]

This makes me certain it will never be Tyrion

[@comradestannis]

Yep!

[@DontrplytoMycomments]

Val-in-car

[@faisalkamal4319]

my leave to die damn cersei

[@rhoddryice5412]

28:40 Cersei's dream

[@TheCbot88]

Idk if I wanna laugh or puke.

[@christophergibson9337]

Cacacacacaca Catman Dew!!!!😸😸😸

[@minecraftfifabarona1465]

40:57 Best

[@comradestannis]

I believe the valonquar is Stannis Baratheon. IMHO.

[@Mr50403]

I think it's a old word for brother!

[@comradestannis]

@@Mr50403 Yes, and Stannis is brother in law

[@coopdam3721]

@@comradestannishe will never get to the south again. Hope he whoops boltons though, but if he does who will Jon kill when he wakes? Stannis is set up to die and I hate it

[@comradestannis]

@@coopdam3721 i guess so

[@santsi7306]

Oh wow that could make sense!

19:45

[@Tychoxi]

Cersei no!

[@NightDweller]

Cersei is Viseries III level of comical evil prolly more

[@thewanderingartists]

Damn, 😂😂 Cersei is 1000x times worse in the books.

[@TBSViral]

Magi the frog is Cybil Spicers grandmother,Jane Westerlings Grandmother?

[@TBSViral]

We always hear about the power of kings blood but what of queens blood? Is it the same?