DDLC "Our Time" mod - Café date with Monika

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So, I finally finished the script for this particular scene, and wanted to show you guys a little bit of it :)
A demo will probably be availabe on February 14th, with a potential full release on March/April.

[@sonicfind]

3:00 I thought that already looked amazing.... And then I saw the particle effects. Christ.

[@ouma7167]

sonicfind did you just use the fan pack

[@zellrang]

Someone should put it in wallpaper engine on steam

[@user-zd6gg7cf5w]

YES INDEED

[@deathwolf123451]

The lightsource to the upper right keeps dimming in and out like clouds passing under the sun too.

[@CR7andManUtdFan]

So you were staring at her for 14 seconds? I'm not blaming you

[@JunebugKnight]

You see those two green eyes? *They're staring into your soul*

[@allanvicente6983]

Helen Kenway Good

[@VForceWave]

I'm gonna try and point out some constructive criticism here: 0:25 Monika opens with "looks quite fancy", right after MC started the scene with "looks pretty fancy". The sameyness is a bit jarring, I'd either swap the words for one of them or have MC comment how he was just thinking the same thing, which could be kinda cute. 1:16 "some" and "some", I would just go with "the omelette sandwich" since it's on the menu, or "an omelette sandwich", unless they're supposed to be like sliders or something and you get multiple. If so, I'd specify that in the order. You also used "some" in the MC's order. All these "some" uses make the orders feel very loose. If there's a menu, the orders should be pretty specific. 2:33 "some of the other customers" and "some are waiting outside", it's too much "Some", change up the words a bit. 3:00 I would move this line before "I now understand why Sayori..." as it gives MC's understanding more prior knowledge. 3:20 The MC's last three dialogue boxes all ended with "...", I would certainly reduce that. Use ellipses sparingly, like I'd use it when he says "W-Well, if you say so..." but everything else could just be a sentence. 4:09 "the" should be "that" 4:46 the waitress just apologized for the wait. I would have Monika instead comment on that specifically, how the service is incredible, as there was no wait at all, or take this line out. As is, it conflicts with the previous text. 5:13 should be "how the food is" 5:37 "a lot more different" should be something else, like "quite different" A lot of dialogue boxes are very short, too. I feel like you could combine the "Ahaha!" and "I'm just kidding!" at 3:35. Nothing wrong with a few short text boxes, but you've got that big box there, use at least a line or two of it. Also, MC said "haha" too much, maybe throw in a "heh" instead at around 5:39 and combine the dialogue boxes. Adds a bit of teasing on MC's part, which seems to be what you're going for anyway. I can tell the tone of this scene is MC out of his comfort zone but trying his best, with Monika taking the lead, but that doesn't mean the MC has to trail off evwry time he speaks. Show his apprehension through internal monologues, it's a VN, use the tools the genre allows. Beautiful CG, but it needs some tighter writing. Ask yourself that if your editor asked you to cut 30% of the dialogue where you would make the cuts. If you can easily find some places that can be tightened up or reworded to be understood better, maybe make those changes. I would say compare the style and structure of this scene to the Natsuki/Yuri date scene from the base game, and shoot for that kind of content and length. This feels short and like nothing of substance really happened, like it could already be shortened to 2 minutes long without losing any important details or conversation. Sorry, I just love this character, and I had to throw my piece in. I might've missed a few things, as I'm on mobile, but hopefully I was able to help. I understand this is a fan project and not a full-fledged new IP or game, but if you wanted to make this as great as possible then hopefully my observations will help. Looking forward to a successful release.

[@Alcane302]

VForceWave now this is constructive criticism! Not that "Oh your mod is shit because Monika would never do that" type of crap. This can actually be useful for improving!

[@gianniskappa7241]

VForceWave nice tips i agree

[@CapemanProducti0ns]

Woah, thanks for taking the time, dude!

[@aperson9223]

0:25 A very very small thing would be Monika actually saying "Ahaha" instead of "Haha"

[@yourefootfungus2987]

Just gonna say this is a good day for a few days ago by the end of this tag has been a long time no see the attached file for bankruptcy attorney and a half day and age of five years in the 9 I have been a little bit about the position of my favorite things to be a 8lackula so in that case hi...

[@serendipitous2218]

This is just... *MONIKA*

[@dingles3393]

You actually caught me by surprise, well done.

[@FRR363]

Yeah, that was just Monika.

[@madisongreen7975]

*fucking monikammmmmmmmmmmmm*

[@FRR363]

Madison Green *My dad would beat the shit out of me if he finds me watching DDLC* .

[@MISTERMONIK]

serendipitous just monika

[@melonelon7590]

Just Monika guys, remember that this mod is not about your childhood friend Sayori, cute and adorable Natsuki or even tall with big rack Yuri. This mod is about Monika. Just Monika.

[@ShemLunaria]

This. Was. Freaking. Beautiful.

[@kalleningram2804]

Love

[@supersoulfilledsanvich9869]

remember this is the monika we want, lets everyone be and things take their course

[@runicmemento7481]

If it's available on the 14th, man what a birthday gift :') I can't wait! Seriously nice work!!

[@mx.crowley5263]

It seems that Monika's dream will come true. and nice work :)

[@All54321]

XD Wow That cliffhanger though! I want to know if the salad is good! Anyways nice job with this whole thing, I can’t wait to see the full mod is action!

[@All54321]

And the full version being out March/April? (And a demo just 17 days away) that’s pretty crazy!

[@primeadmiralty8569]

Wow! Monika is more beautiful here ❤ Finally her special day happens.

[@gasparzegersdiaz5674]

2:47 PROTECC

[@rubyu1897]

Wow, amazing mod! I can't wait for the finished product! I'm not really good at criticism, but maybe change both of them saying "Looks pretty fancy." and "Looks quite fancy" Great job, though!

[@GoodGuyTeo]

a demo is coming out in february and the full game in march.. just letting ya know

[@cameron6465]

Yes, this progress is most acceptable. A subscription is needed in order to keep up to date on this extremely important project. My trust is with you, and I hope you will create an experience that *breathes in through nostrils* satisfies my needs.

[@isohel5343]

Dude u r very awesome and i absolutely love it i cant wait for the release

[@pauligoa4053]

I can see how much love and effort has been put into this, it looks amazing! I love your work!

[@ck11032]

Paul Igoa *looks at profile picture* damnit.

[@sonicfind]

"I'll have some omelette sandwiches..." Sandwiches... Multiple... Which means *Multiple* omelettes My god.... she's approaching Sayori levels of eating. Edit: ok, nvm. Thank god they're reasonably sized.

[@mpfm6386]

S Y R U P S A N D W I C H E S

[@Pol74387]

Eh? You meanie! :3

[@jae3567]

Lol Sayori is adorable. All of the Doki's are. ❤

[@kinjascool]

I thought player would say "uhhhh lemme get a... BONELESS PIZZA WITH 2 LITER OF COKE"

[@elllllllllliot]

Female!ToyBonnie YT old meme but I like it

[@kinjascool]

you’re mom same

[@hangingjontron818]

you’re mom Hi bepis boi

[@yugoslavia6726]

Haha

[@gigicestone4902]

If the player pulled that shit Monika would immediately change her mind about him.

[@Nat55atata]

Plot Twist : the salad was drugged and the MC is now Monika's love slave. Or yhaknow, it wasn't and it was just a cute date. Either or.

[@xether287]

Nat55atata

[@tokyowhoxx]

I can't... *gallons of blood squirts out nose* I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE!!

[@JustAPotato1998]

Its always a little ironic to see Doki Doki become an actual visual novel dating game, but its cute nonetheless :)

[@GoodGuyTeo]

well monika deserves that

[@severedapex7413]

Anthony Clark it is a dating sim. Well as the cover of it

[@severedapex7413]

They deserve to be happy. And we want a mod that do that. It's not entirely impossible because Renpy is a Visual novel engine.

[@DylanofScreenTime]

Anthony Clark wait...does that mean we’ll get into ACTUAL DATING SIMS

[@zuko1569]

Aah, finally a less creepier version of Monika staring you at the class after she deleted everyone. *Take my money*

[@caidenkh9438]

Awesome! Nice work! Can't wait!!

[@psychronia]

This is amazing. I had a silly grin on my face the whole time.

[@Yomo_Kontabi]

I come back to watch this every day.

[@DylanofScreenTime]

Yomo Kontabi OMG SAME

[@unoriginaltrash4503]

The 3 dislikes are Natsuki, Sayori, And Yuri Lmao

[@Pol74387]

UNORIGINAL TRASH :')

[@dooklarue1672]

Sayori so it was you

[@Pol74387]

Dook larue well I would be lying if I said no. :/

[@looreema]

Sayori booo go hang out somewhere else, sayori

[@Pol74387]

Amirul Aliman no

[@jonhummel4341]

You are extremely talented and I cannot wait to see and play through the full mod when it is completed. Keep up the amazing work.

[@YoungSavage]

*YEEEEEEEEES*

[@All54321]

2:52 This CG also looks so amazing, wow And I just realized what those other buildings were for when you made the background XD

[@jorgefley3594]

Actually, those other buildings were because the windows were reflecting the sky (Nothingness), so I had to place something there so that they didn't look weird lol

[@kurrokiri9543]

AHH WHY DID IT HAVE TO END??! ;w; I AM SO HYPED FOR THIS TO BE FINISHED!

[@oliversimeon8690]

I DEFINITELY WANT TO PLAY THIS MOD!

[@noppers8328]

Biju mike need to play this :0

[@hangingjontron818]

Now out yet :/

[@noppers8328]

waifu and loli destroyer ik

[@senif684]

roxy shadowツ omg YES

[@dicerollteevee8771]

That's what I thought when I clicked in this

[@gatsjames5270]

DEFINITELY.....when its out

[@mars31313]

Ah, this is an amazing mod, I love the art! The music is also great!

[@staticmajor7193]

This is looking real good

[@kijari3138]

This mod is lookin great so far! Can’t wait to see what’s next, Also that one dislike is yuri *-*

[@hydragladiador6268]

Monika i think i know who are you...

[@DrBXXI]

Well, this is special. I must say that i have mixed feelins with DDLC mods. You know, because DDLC is not supposed to be a normal dating sim. However the original game made me feel empathy for the characters and I want to see them happy too. I guess I would like to see more mods using the horror aspect of the game instead of all of them being happy dating sims. (I hope that whatever TEAM SALVATO is working on gives me what I'm looking for.) Anyway, this looks amazing, and I appreciate all the hard work. I can't wait to see the final result.

[@VaygrX]

There's actually a lot of mods using the horror aspect. If I remember correctly, there's actually a mod under development which shows you the story from Sayori's eyes. r/DDLCMods is a great place to find some of these.

[@DrBXXI]

Yeah... Not many, but it's better than nothing.

[@L16htW4rr10r]

TsukiMaru Wow. Thank for the recommendation.

[@severedapex7413]

I really was wishing of it to be a dating sim in the first shot.

[@DarkusFireBlaze3582]

It's kinda funny to be honest. The whole point of DDLC was to break free of the standard dating sim formula by introducing its use of the horror aspect. However, now people are trying to make it into a normal dating sim because they feel such empathy for the characters. It's kinda ironic when you look at it like that.

[@christiansnaturestudio6599]

I want to date her in real life

[@Nistau]

Too bad it’s just a game and no one in the universe comes to close to being as similar to the Doki Doki characters

[@celestialsss]

why is everyone so thirsty here

[@GoodGuyTeo]

don't we all?

[@GoodGuyTeo]

it actually is sad that no one will be similiar to the doki doki charackters but that's just because they are perfect and when it's one thing we know that humans aren't is being perfect

[@celestialsss]

TestoTeo yeah. These are pipe dreams to be honest.

[@k1teenz]

3:34 Thank you Monika XD

[@adithyas1091]

Also Monika sipping the coffee is sooooo cuuuute

[@marzipandle]

Wow! The art in this is absolutely beautiful! The detail in it is just-! Its all so pretty! The effects, the shading, everything!

[@doublemissmatt6728]

*eats salad, no response & screen fades to black* did he just die

[@FallenAngel2k02]

You're killing me. I want thisss 😭

[@argee4672]

Awww, Monika has such beautiful, emerald green eyes..❤💕💕 I wanna download the mod!!!

[@hangingjontron818]

Not out :/

[@dashx3465]

Lmao dog.

[@somerandomname7602]

CEASE BULLI

[@christiansnaturestudio6599]

Derp 1224 I want to date her in real life

[@joosep389]

Dashwii waddub dawg :D

[@gumi_twylit2605]

Holy heaven... Its amazing... I love how the dialogue shows their emotions, expressions.... Keep up the good work.... I know youll eventually make this mod a masterpiece....

[@ToaGresh300]

Since the demo of the mod was just released, I just wanted to say that you've done an amazing job and I'm really happy with the current outcome. Keep up the good work can't wait for the full release!

[@hakasehakase]

now it's just a regular dating sim...

[@EYYYYYJustin]

Yea but it brings joy you know? If we just had this, yea, would've been pretty generic. But we have this after the hellhole that's the real Doki Doki. It makes seeing her like this wholesome. She deserves some happiness after we deleted her file you know ;-;

[@thorinpink]

The arts are amazing and beautiful 😍😍😍

[@annhentaiuser6658]

*Sees the thumbnail Nah, ain't falling for that 2:51 *WHHOOOOOOHHOOOOAAAAAAA*

[@_DuongNamKhanh]

Oops:/

[@DylanofScreenTime]

Optimus Prime I know, I didn’t believe it either!

[@umbra8914]

This is really relaxing and you've done a particulary great job about the ambiance of the scene it looks like it could belong directly to the original game

[@strawb3rrysuccubus]

Monika is precious, oml

[@gamingwatermelone987]

YOoo THIS MOD LOOKS LEGIT!!! Can’t wait for this mod!! You earn yourself a subscriber 👍keep up the good work

[@ankui_]

I'M SO HYPED FOR THIS MOD!!!

[@nothingness3933]

Monika is so adorable

[@msIlkaTan]

this is incredible thank you so much for the hard work and time you put in this

[@msIlkaTan]

you inspired me so much!!

[@mhunter2805]

Looking good so far :) Can't wait to see the demo or the full release!

[@Royal_Exc]

Can’t wait to play this! You’re doing really well! THIS PERSON IS GOING PLACES!!!

[@lilyf9185]

UGH! I Can't wait for February 14! This looks absolutely BEAUTIFUL!

[@janekim9969]

Thank you so much for making these Monika route videos!

[@cumragboy9439]

Dude your a god

[@TheLejonell]

So sweet

[@Fergul_]

To whom ever did the art for this.. well done, tis beautiful my friend

[@Jay-uc9ql]

It’s awesome to see the progress you’ve made on this amazing mod! Hope it gets done soon so I can play it haha!

[@ctrl34]

Its amazing how much effort you're putting into this mod, dude! Keep up the great work, people like you are the ones that keep good games alive!

[@ck11032]

Who the fuck has a burger and iced tea... Who the fuck even has a burger for breakest at all.

[@ck11032]

And why does she get to have omelette sandwiches while we're stuck with the salad option. This isn't fair. All crappy jokes aside though, this mod actually looks like it could fit into the game

[@jorgefley3594]

It was kinda like a random choice that I put there. It's supposed to be a fancy Café, so if they had something like soda there i'd be a bit weird. Maybe i'll change it later, lol. This scene takes place during noon, also.

[@ck11032]

Jorge Fley Ah. So it's in that middle ground where both lunch and breakfast are acceptable. Clever.

[@somerandomname7602]

I actually did eat a burger for breakfast once. Was not dissapointed.

[@ck11032]

somerandomname I'M disappointed.

[@conkerbandicoot]

Can't wait for it, CG is really beautiful, Monika looks like an angel who fell from the sky

[@TheNecrumDavengers]

Best Waifu ever made! Who is Pyra, Bulma... Just Monika!

[@Tem07]

Your art is amazing ! Keep up the good work and I can't wait for day 3 :)

[@Peelz2000]

*yEs*

[@xtenebrisx2339]

Nice job! Keep up the amazing work!

[@floppingbear7077]

This looks so awesome, especially the CG looked so original!!!

[@hobiron-senpai5521]

I DONT HAVE ANY WORDS TO DESCRIBE THIS BEAUTIFUL MASTERPIECE...

[@mehigh662]

one word is this mode: AMAZING

[@user-zd6gg7cf5w]

WOOOW... that looks AMAZING! Can't wait to play full version of this mode

[@Skychord-ux1is]

I love the CG's parallel to the Just Monika CG

[@GamingVortexOFFICIAL]

Wow this mod looks amazing great work so far!!! Cant wait to play it when it comes out :)

[@jaykovl1782]

Looks great! Really can't wait for the full release!

[@badusername321]

omg thank you for making this

[@WellOkaythen.]

This looks great! Can't wait for the download!

[@FantasticJay3582]

Gosh this is so gooood! Great job👏

[@Rafi-uv7tk]

Amazing! Can't wait the full version to be released!

[@Arcadapapaya]

This is super good, great job to whoever made it!

[@axelbordelon5380]

Let me know if you'd like an editor. There's a few script revisions I'd like to suggest. You're doing great work, and I absolutely love it! Can't wait to see the final release!

[@somerandomname7602]

Beautiful. Just beautiful. I was already excited for this mod but now I have to subscribe. Also, will there be different endings in this mod?

[@Broklynrage]

Soo excited for this mod! :)

[@mrsgraceestores]

Yuri Is Scary

[@wlyotz7253]

i need to stop falling in love with cartoons..

[@DylanofScreenTime]

Alien Sinner Yeah, but we can’t help ourselves can we?

[@AnN-rr3ob]

Man it looks awesome!! I just can't wait the release, I want to play it so bad. Now I can get hapiness

[@them0rningstar]

this looks so fkin amazing bro, keep it up

[@ranieljoshuacunanan7830]

This is like Monika finally gets out of your PC and you invite her to a date

[@jarda6792]

That looks really awesome! I will try it out as soon as it will come uot!

[@TheGopaxExperience]

I absolutely love this, huge fan of Doki Doki Literature Club, and I can't wait for more updates! Keep up the amazing work!!!

[@Xhawk777]

Good to see this mod is making progress!

[@joeblow5949]

Didn't watch the video cuz I don't want to spoil the experience, but I just came to say that I'm excited for the release and keep up the great work! :)

[@pisungo271]

2:47 This little moments are called happiness...

[@unidentifiedgodofdankstruc1510]

Looks good keep it up!

[@itech439]

Who ever made this mod is a light that guided us to this fourth wall breaking hell

[@allenko7892]

this is amazing , thanks for sharing.

[@adamharberg6659]

Holy cow that's amazing! I cant wait to play it!!

[@blackhand1193]

*PERFECT!*

[@SirLandLubba]

Amazing mod. Keep up the good work