Dealing with Adult Children Who are Narcissists

In this video, I present a family systems perspective of families who have an Adult Child who is a narcissist. Parents experience the pain of the loss of a child and grandchildren, family conflict, frustrating interactions, and difficult family dynamics due to this personality disorder.
HERE'S HOW I CAN HELP YOU👇🏼
🆓 [RECOMMENDED] Access my free training ‘Build the true self you were never allowed to have’- jerrywise.eweb...
🔥🔥🔥 ‘Road to Self’ Program: Join 10,000+ people who have transformed their life!- www.jerrywiser...
🔥🔥🔥 Coaching packages- www.jerrywiser...
➡️ RECOMMENDED PLAYLISTS:
** Break Free from Narcissistic Parents & Families- • Break Free from Narcis...
** Escape family roles (Scapegoat, hero, golden child, black sheep)- • Escape Family Roles: S...
** Overcome Toxic Guilt & Shame - • Overcome Toxic Guilt &...
** Going No/Low Contact with Narcissistic Family- • Going No-Contact with ...
** Build Your True Self- • Self-Differentiation: ...
🌐 More free resources available on my website:
www.jerrywiser...
➡️ FOLLOW ME:
Instagram: / jerrytwise
Facebook: / jerrytwise
Twitter: / jerrytwise
Spotify: open.spotify.c...
Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC, has helped 10,000s of people heal from family dysfunction and become the true self they were never allowed to be. As a family systems and self-differentiation coach, he leverages 45 years of experience to help clients permanently break free from family-of-origin dysfunction, cultivate healthy relationships, and build a strong sense of self.
***DISCLAIMER: THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED TO SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING. BE SURE TO CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL TO HELP YOU INTEGRATE AND UTILIZE THESE CONCEPTS.***

[@jerrywise]

Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇 Access my free training - jerrywise.ewebinar.com/webinar/free-training-10027 ‘Road to Self’ Program: Join 10,000+ people who have transformed their lives! www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/road-to-self

[@JingleBellsBarky]

Thank you Jerry!!!

[@Pp7450-n5u]

The night my son was born He laid on my chest and we stared into each other's eyes all night long. I was 100% in love with this child. 22 years later I don't know who he is anymore or whose life he seems to think he has lived. My heart is completely ripped to shreds.

[@jerrywise]

I'm sorry this is your story, sending love and strength your way ❤️

[@Angela.M.D]

Same feeling i have. ❤

[@noddaimportanto3735]

I truly believe my daughter is possessed.

[@Angela.M.D]

@@noddaimportanto3735 so do i

[@reginafarias]

It is a tragedy! There is no other word to describe it. I would never imagine such a situation after all the care, love, time and money I've spent on my child.

[@mountaincreekhomestead]

So glad I'm not alone. I finally cut the cord. I'm done being verbally abused and disrespected.i gave it to God🙏

[@katepenk3401]

Ditto! So very PAINFUL to finally accept that you are the target. The only remedy is to hand them over to God, hope their heart and mind will eventually allow God to enter in, but until then, no contact. You can never win and they know exactly how to hurt you where it hurts the most. Impossible to understand, so don't try.

[@Zahnclassof95]

I 💯 with you ,I had to cut ties with my adult child ,I myself got sick of bad mouthing an disrespectful

[@Angela.M.D]

Same here. Enough is enough!!!

[@rhondathompson6592]

Me too

[@5339kimH]

Good for you❤️

[@arteremus]

Much love to all the moms here.

[@jerrywise]

❤️

[@hunnybunny4973]

❤Much love to you too❤ we all need to form a group. I know there are many parents that's not to blame for this. Either way...we all have broken hearts

[@plushypuppy2024]

and to you babe

[@Plisken65]

Dont leave out Dad's. It's sexist.

[@pambromley7481]

It took me a long time but after 23 years I decided to cut the cord, put my narcissistic children behind me and move on with my life.

[@interrupted9671]

My 34 year old daughter has been verbally abusing me for years, and I have just walked away 6 weeks ago. I am devastated and confused since I have dealt with this kind of abuse my entire childhood from my own mother. I was dx with CPTSD years ago, and have had to disconnect. Dear god How could one person be so unfortunate to have been raised by a narc and given birth to my mother all over again?????

[@lindabell6954]

the narc mother destroys the whole family. including the grandchildren.

[@gillps5130]

There is a genetic element.

[@GypsyMaeRose]

Same here 😔

[@interrupted9671]

@@GypsyMaeRose So Sorry!! 😓

[@roxiesorrells4552]

Praying for God to place his loving and comforting arms around you

[@jennagle5554]

Look up covert narcissist. Once I realized that my daughter's constant "woe is me" story was just to conveniently control me, I was never the same. Always the victim, never takes responsibility for her actions, blame, blame, blame. Just walked away.

[@deborahsherer1710]

It’s again, not an illness

[@annmarygarcia1321]

Mine is also a woe is me. She goes on Facebook live crying for everything. How they stopped her food stamps because her husband made too much (we're not talking about money being tight, he makes 6 figures) and of course how she had such a rotten childhood. She hates my youngest. She even had a story about being molested, and then told me the other night his brother also molested her over 25 years ago and I never did anything. I asked when she told me about it. She said just now. It ended when she said my youngest deserved being assaulted by her ex boyfriend. I had to cut it off there. Worse is she has teamed up with my mother who is also a narcissist and they are coming at me from both sides. My daughter is 39 a d acts this way. I'm heartbroken.

[@millymixon4826]

I will be 70 in a few months. I have 2 sons. My adult narcissistic son is 50. My "normal" son is 43. I have finally thrown in the towel, given up on ever having a relationship with my narc son. I have accepted that it is better to love some people from afar. Last fall I watched him destroy his marriage with his lovely wife, crush his teenage son, and weaponize his younger against all others. My other son refused to accept his cruelty any further and told him to get out of his life once and for all. I must say, It is so painful to know that my oldest son is not a nice man. Yet to hear him tell it, he is such a victim. He does not believe in God; he is his own God. But I pray God will have mercy on him. In the meantime, I have closed the door to him and walked away. A part of me is sad, but another part of me is very relieved.

[@beyondwords2909]

So heart breaking I am so sorry for your difficult experience

[@marilynng4337]

I am sorry too My son has narc traits I am seeking the Lord Jesus to show me what to do I wouldn’t wish this on any parent God loves us and her sons He will make things right

[@butterflylady5568]

I understand that. I have two one worse than other but wonderful grandchildren I raised. I thank some of its in there genes I saw this in other family members I dont thank it’s all learned that what they like to tell u. Control I have seen such. It’s terrible way live I also have stopped with one child. I love this person but there 50 s also. I am older and done. Don’t feel gulty. If you have done all you can that’s all you can do

[@rheebanks1469]

I had to walk away from the gaslighting, lack of empathy, and the arguing I'm sick of it! The moment I stuck up for myself I got accused of having a hateful heart! No more! I need therapy from Narcissists abuse.

[@jerrywise]

I hope my videos help you in your self differentiation and healing journey ❤️

[@rheebanks1469]

@@jerrywise The abuse started from my stepfather and when I had my daughter she lived with my Mother and stepfather while I finished college she picked up those negative traits from him and things have never been the same... over the years I've been in a healing process. Thank you for your videos they help!

[@Mike-jw4xh]

Absolutely right! Same exact thing with our son!!! Its always about HIM, and HIS feelings....sickening.

[@interrupted9671]

I dealt with this crap my entire life, first my mother, and of course the rest of the family jumped on board with her for fear of possibly being treated like I was, and now it’s my daughter. I had my shoulder replaced almost two weeks ago. She did take me to the hospital came up to see me for about an hour after the procedure the left for a trip to Texas the next day. When she got home I texted her and asked her why she wouldn’t have called to see if I was ok, or maybe needed something, her replay was, Why Are You Starting Shit? Starting shit??? I simply asked how she could be so unkind. She scares me because I’m well aware of her narcissistic traits now.

[@loriwest8770]

Ditto😥😭

[@Bonza001]

OMG! You've described my daughter's behaviour to a tee, I've blamed myself for being a terrible parent, my mother hated me now my daughter does, but actually I'm not doing that 'blaming myself for the world blowing up' any more, yes, she is controlling so I won't be able to see my grandchildren anymore but I am refusing to have the ache that, that brings because I am now 62 and I have reached a point where I am re-inventing myself, taking care of my needs and feel that I'm worth it, I've spent more than half my life being abused by my daughter and before her my mother and adult relationships doing my very best to make people happy, that I can't waste all my remaining energy in playing her games any more. Time to be positive and look forward x

[@jerrywise]

It sounds hard and complicated. Focusing on you, your needs and your own functioning is a good start

[@MayaMaya-mu7yy]

@BonitaBoulkam This is a great Bonita “taking care of my needs & I feel I’m worth it!” I’m also going through this, having good days & bad! Staying busy exercising & hiking is my saving grace!

[@רחלשמעון-ג7ע]

My thirty year old daughter is living with me!!!!!! Plus her husband and three small children!!! I made a big mistake!!! My husband thinks I'm too complaining!!!!

[@רחלשמעון-ג7ע]

I blame my self.She had no bounderies as a child and none now!!!

[@hiddenhand6973]

Did you get her help? Did you get her intervention and therapy to try and help the problem you saw?@@רחלשמעון-ג7ע

[@ladyt_ismyname6643]

Go no contact. You’ve done your job loving and raising them. You don’t deserve to be in ANY abusive relationship. Especially by a person you brought into this world.

[@crissieroserose]

o my god thank you for these words

[@jessicamcwilliams4933]

Wow I love your comment it's so right

[@anitavirginillo]

Exactly right, never take abuse from any family member, period!!

[@Rose-dl6xg]

I appreciate your words, I'm going through soooo much emotionally. I've gone N/C now one of my daughters won't let me send a young grand daughter a birthday card. I've been sooo disrespected and everyone's scapegoat🐐 today I feel I'm being swallowed up in depression. I need a prayer🙏

[@jantelopez5626]

lol you literally said the number one NPD parent line. NPD parents make their kids wish they were never born - so thanks but no thanks - no one needs parents THAT self absorbed. you only create children who need more help from the rest of society

[@SheilaTrueLove]

Thank you for this video. I get sick and tired of people accusing their MOTHERS of being NARCISSIST when TRUTH be told, 9 times out of 10 it's the SIBLINGS that are the NARCISSIST.

[@annharrison4774]

Or their fathers because they want revenge at being left. All that was hurt was their pride.

[@gigin9774]

Who raised the siblings?

[@annharrison4774]

@@gigin9774 I have only got the one child.

[@gigin9774]

@@annharrison4774 I was asking the OP. Whose siblings is she talking about - her siblings, or the children's siblings

[@opheliemarin]

@@gigin9774 think about what you wrote. It takes a family system for the narcissists to be the drama llama. Each child is a different person and they give their role just the the victim of narc. abuser. Without each person having their role, the narcissistic person wouldn't be successful.

[@avalanche5150]

I've accepted the fact that I can't change my daughter only she can change.

[@plushypuppy2024]

what change?...she's no reason to change because it's all your fault ( her mindset for life!) hard as it is you have to accept that instead as she won't be changing babe. x

[@hvanderp578]

Am afraid she can’t ever change

[@marjoriemartinez9973]

They get worse w age

[@japhillips6298]

The best thing you can do for your self is just get over them. My daughter tried to destroy me for almost 30 years, the grandkids are their weapon, a nars uses your love you have for them, when they open their mouth a lie comes out. You don't have a right to live, much less have a home and thing's you need in life, by all right what you have is theirs. We missed the love of our two grandson, the oldest one is dead, he got killed in the army in iraq, I have not seen the other one in ten years, sad but he puts up with his mom, not by choice, this daughter has been a alcoholic almost forty years, l have not seen her in ten year's, when her dad died she was (she thought) have me put away, because she was taking over. She abused my grandsons and there was nothing I could do. She's out of my life and that's good Trying to love a person like her is like death for you. She's 59 now the same. These people are ruled by demons. They are not sorry about anything they do.

[@joannphillips2469]

@Justin L why? Are you still hanging on to a nars?

[@taniathomas7353]

Victim blaming

[@barbarafrack7084]

What a nightmare. Sorry for your losses. I hope you have found some form of peace and healing.

[@dgloss1951]

You told my story, JA. Your description is spot-on. I've been in Al-Anon a long time. It helps even with situations not directly related to addiction/alcoholism. I've been able to get past the obsession and anger and move toward letting go. Still get angry about it, though. Been working on myself for decades.

[@mgkos]

Ta'Nia Thomas how so? Who’s visit blaming whom?

[@mariepeartree5018]

There is so much ignorance and judgement from people out there that many parents keep their suffering to themselves. Some narcissistic children have slandered their parents so badly that entire family systems and friends are already turned against them rendering a very painful situation cruel.

[@bandieboo8102]

True.

[@novelist99]

Sadly, that's true.

[@Linda-pe9dw]

So true. We will forgive them for the ugly things they do and say and we want to protect them. If we tell family what they are doing they will hold it against them. I know st times I believe the lies she is telling me about what a bad person I am so why wouldn't they. When I defend myself she turns victim and threatens suicide and now I've lost both grandchildren to suicide. It's evil. God help us🙏🏾😭 It's spiritual warfare

[@Dgirl2]

The most painful thing I’ve ever been through. The lies and isolation are almost unbearable. 😢 She has cut contact which has given me time to begin to heal and rediscover my true self. But I know she’ll be back! God help me! (I miss my grandchildren)😢

[@karencox5963]

Finally, someone giving advice to the parents... thank you!

[@jerrywise]

I’m glad you find it helpful, your welcome 🤍

[@karencox5963]

After years of so much hurt... It's nice to have some understanding.

[@sirrantsalott]

Karen, some parents deserve hell on earth, just take it, you deserve it

[@mcdermottclaire]

Parents teach

[@mountaincreekhomestead]

So glad I'm not alone. I finally cut the cord. I'm done being verbally abused and disrespected.

[@tealhearts5455]

I am getting well out of the way before my daughter has children. She has TORTURED me enough. The guilt and shame she tried to put on me was so traumatic. No way am I ever opening myself up to her again. She fights with everyone. No thank you

[@jerrywise]

💔

[@gillps5130]

You may well be preserving yourself from severe heartache. The agony of being deprived of grandchildren after you have formed deep love for them is second only to losing your own child. You will suffer just the once. However I pray that age and time will turn things round for you as I do for all sufferers of these tragedies.

[@cynthiapeterson2740]

You are wise to get away before she has children. I wish I had. I’m 71 and my daughter has an 18 month old that I have not seen since he was eight months old and she lives 35 minutes away. I lost my first grandchild to death 18 years ago (her brother’s child) and when she was pregnant, I told her I couldn’t take losing another grandchild so what did she do, she do? She took this one from me. Her cruelty absolutely amazes me.

[@CS-iv8tk]

Once you set strong boundaries with the children of the narcissist parent, it will never be a functional environment. A constant emotional battle. A death of a beautiful soul you once knew and must realize that you will never have again. Heartbreaking for the healthy parent that was trying to save that soul.

[@CS-iv8tk]

Yulia Orme .... exactly. I will never get use to the loss. I just have to keep reminding myself that it’s a two way street. I just can’t have my adult child being the boss/bulling me. Maturity is needed

[@adelineirvine4535]

C S I can relate to you saying; "A death of a beautiful soul you once knew and must realize that you will never have again". I believe I needed to read that for some reason. It is very sad. I keep thinking of my daughter as a little girl and all the special times we shared. But to her they never existed and even if she can remember she will still find something that I did wrong. She is nice to me only if she has no one else. Then DISCARDS me like a piece of garbage when I am no longer of any use to her. I have had many burnouts because I allowed her to degrade me until I was almost going nuts. Crying like my heart was breaking into a million pieces. Still I held on. Hoping and praying it would get better. It never did. Now I am Disgusted with her. I no longer long... to be with her and love her.

[@CS-iv8tk]

@@adelineirvine4535 .... totally relate. Best of luck and happiness to you!

[@sylviastewart5339]

Thank you so much for this video as it really is hard to find any information about narcissistic adult children and I have listened to this several times to try & get my head round all that’s happened, especially in the last year since my Son’s relationship with a person who is also a narcissist. Me & my husband can recognise a lot of this as we’ve experienced most of it. Luckily our grandson is almost 18 and we have a close relationship with him so far, but we only have one Son and realise that things will not change for the better in the future although we still maintain some form of relationship although not as close as before as his partner will not allow it & she has trained him to be compliant & he seems to be going along with it. We just try and take a step back and get on with life the best we can. Thanks again for highlighting this problem

[@lisadillon4649]

Thankyou, I am going through episodes now, last one, myself and my entire street had to ring the police cos when I locked him out (due to him turning up and being intoxicated, aggressive, smashing things up, inside and outside the house) he then turned on the street and was hitting cars, wheelie bins, headbutting EVERYTHING, and shouting out "Thanks alot mum! Leave your own fucking son out in the street, nice etc" (he's got his pen place with the ymca so he wasn't homeless) he's been getting arrested all week after that (hes 19), and that night before I had to lock him out through fear, he was also being extremely emotionally, verbally and Phycologicaly abusive, he's a narcissist and also has alcohol and drug problems.. Its been a living nightmare for the past 6 years, only 2 days ago I had the courage (in a text message) to cut him off until he's healed and seen the light, and he's no longer welcome in my home. I'm lost for words now, I think I just needed to offload, I'm sad to my core right this moment, but I know I have to put me first and my other 12 year old boy that's also suffered the 6 years too, I forgot now what I'm even replying too, I'm glad I found this video.. Thankyou for that, and thankyou for this comment, I'm going to re read it now ♥️💕✨🙏 if I could please ask for 1 thing off anyone who reads this comment, could I please ask you pray for me and for my soul to heal, can you pray for my sons to heal.. Amen 🙏 xxxxxxx xxxxxxx a broken mother in the making.. I love everyone and everything ✨♥️ may who ever reads this who is suffering severe heart ache.. Remember to have some faith, it's what's been saving me xxxxxxx

[@Bonza001]

reading through these comments, WOW, I believed all these years it was down to me and my 'failings' I didn't realize that it's experienced by quite a few people, thank you Jerry and all of you that have seen similarities with this video, in enabling me and others to heal.

[@jerrywise]

We’re all healing❤️

[@interrupted9671]

I did not either. I have been blaming myself all my life for a mother who disliked me and now a daughter. How unlucky can one person be? I am beyond devastated.

[@susanmayo5374]

Me too.

[@wompol7117]

yeh i have one of the sweet too. plus always feels entitled

[@jillclark4876]

Thank you so much for this video. Accepting that my relationship with my daughter and only grandchild is shattering. I am thankful I’m not alone, but it is so very sad that so many of us are living broken hearted by our adult children.

[@vikingprincess634]

My kids are now 38 and 40, and I haven’t seen or heard from them in years. There is no longer any excuse for their behavior. They saw me being physically and emotionally abused for years, and they are now plenty old enough to think for themselves. Their dad, now an angry old drunk, living alone for the past 25 yrs or so, (except for the first few yrs when he lived with his equally hateful and manipulative Mommy) still has them convinced that I chose my current and much better husband over him, and that any contact with me or my family is disloyal to “poor, lonely old Dad.” He made it into a “who likes me better” game years ago, and you know what? I jumped off the crazy train and want nothing more to do with any of them ever again. Sometimes life forces us to make unconventional decisions that most other people couldn’t possibly understand, but there comes a point where self-respect and self-preservation kick in, and once I realized that I had been sucked into a game that I could never win, I removed myself from the field and moved forward with my life ... without my former children. I have come out on the “other side”, and I am finally at peace.

[@anitalucero65]

You are so very 💪 I'm sure it was hard

[@rosemaryvalentin4940]

So glad ur better now ! No contact is hard on a mom

[@toddamngus5269]

What a sad story. Bless your heart. You sound incredibly strong. Good for you, that you got out.

[@jamesokeeffe3216]

This is great advice I am going to take it ,

[@jamesokeeffe3216]

Good on you for your strength☘️☘️☘️

[@barbarahunter1555]

I gave up in the end. My daughter had me on the verge of a breakdown- I couldn't eat, sleep or do my job. I wasn't a bad parent. I went no contact 3 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did. I still see my precious grandson via my son on law.

[@barbarafrack7084]

I feel I can not endure more pain. I get to see one granddaughter via my ex daughter in law, who is kind and sees how ridiculous my son and his new wife are acting. I never bonded with the baby who is 10 month old. I saw her for a few minute three different times when she first came home from the hospital. We go months on end with no contact. Maybe a sentence or two via text.His choice. I feel less anxious when I do not see him.

[@livininamerica76]

I’m scared this may happen to me one day. First my son has to get a job to actually be able to have a wife....

[@godschild9528]

I will probably never meet my granddaughter my daughter is 23 about 6 months pregnant and I just had to cut her out I'm heartbroken I feel destroyed my heart is shattered and I cannot let her do this to me anymore she's already used the baby numerous times and if I try to stick up for myself she just rips into me and she makes stuff up it's mind-blowing I'm so glad I found this video and reading all your comments I don't feel like I'm crazy it's a real thing 😥💔

[@godschild9528]

@ibeval5566 I'm so sorry. It's so heartbreaking 💔

[@Lokey21]

God's child I’m with you on finding this video. It is very HELPFUL FOR OUR OWN SANITY!!! I get so pissed when I try to explain this behavior to a friend and they’re looking at me like I have two heads! Or How bad can it be? She has a job, she’s nice to me whenever I see her! Or Maybe you should have a conversation with her 😳 A conversation is usually what starts the fight in the first place! If I say good morning, that triggers her! WTF!!! Smh Very grateful for this video and this community who gets it. So yes, WE are not crazy, THIS is happening and WE have to protect ourselves! Good luck with your journey, I know this is a real challenge for you 🕊🕊🕊

[@tertiasmith6253]

I am sitting here in tears because of my internal fight to distance myself from my 28 year old daughter. I realise that no conversation will ever resolve or heal our relationship. Any attempt from me will be met with brutal words and a coldness that chill my veins. I am working hard to heal from mental and psychological problems and to have a good life. I realise that she is destroying any chance of healing for me, but I am like a woman in an abusive relationship. Every time she needs (and demands) something, I welcome her with open arms, even as she pushes past me irritably. Why do I do that? It's as if I never give up trying to be close to her. I had a drinking problem while she was growing up and I cannot get away from the broken life I lived. I have shown my remorse more times than I can remember, but it's as if she wants to keep me there.

[@jerrywise]

Boundaries boundaries boundaries. With yourself first and than with her❤️

[@kensyskye8965]

Just what I need....🙏🏼💕🇬🇧 My adult child is looking more and more like a narcissist... It’s absolutely heartbreaking....Thanks for covering this!

[@edithcasines9550]

I’m at the end of my rope,! I was a very caring mother, I never said no, she hates me , she gets angry when I say no ! and she punished me with my grandkids! I want help please, I went to therapy, she told the therapist, I’m a liar 🤥

[@crissieroserose]

i hear you

[@deb6519]

Yes it is indeed heartbreaking... I'm going through this too😭

[@lisalombardo6753]

I’m a feeling helpless and hopeless in dealing with my 31 year old son who is keeping me from visiting my three month old grandson. He has humiliated me and continued punishing me with each encounter.

[@dorothy792]

@@edithcasines9550 You never said 'no'. That's how my mother ruined my son when he stayed with her (without my knowledge until police involved).

[@cascademarketing]

Thank you for covering this topic. My wife and I are living through this.

[@kathybuckley2338]

Me too 💔💔

[@livininamerica76]

Me too. May God bless us all with patience and in making the right decisions and may He please change the hearts of our children. Amen.

[@godschild9528]

Me too 💔

[@crissieroserose]

me too

[@TheCatquillen]

Me too!

[@gypsyfaded5907]

'Just listened to this and BOOM 💥 do you ever hit the nail on the head. My adult daughter is an emotional mess ...all my fault, of course. Thanks for addressing this. You're right in that it is seldom talked about.

[@ccc4102]

My best take away is to stop fantasizing about a "perfect" family. I needed that. A sunny 🧡 from South Africa. I thank you.

[@Sandybeaches07]

My daughter has been emotional abusing me periodically for 8 years. I walk on eggshells when I talk to her incase I say something she doesn’t like if I say something even something unimportant she doesn’t like she verbally attacks me and I freeze and try to explain what I just said but it’s to late she’s angry she storms away then I’m left speechless and now I’m hurt as I’m cut off and I’m all alone. The last episode was 4 weeks ago! I’m done now! I’ve cut her off for good and her family. I’m very hurt but I need to stop her from doing this!

[@leesanderson6885]

Very grateful for hearing this. I have been surrounded in a family if narcissists .married to one ..and my son. It's exhausting. Love him my son..but do not like him. Undermines me patronises me ..controls me. If I interrupt him..oh my. The disrespect. I've lost all of my family..parents and siblings. Life is hard going.

[@imaginepeace7588]

❤️‍🩹🙏☮️. Same 😞

[@Liepos11]

Sending you lots of love and hugs!❤❤

[@raffaelaperez6633]

In the same boat, Lee... My heart goes out to you ❤ Parents narcissists, went through hell in my childhood, ex husband (diagnosed) narcissist, 16:02 3 kids, of which at least two definitely turned out narcissistic (like their father), too... Feels like getting your heart ripped out of your chest whilst alive... Only just learning how to no longer be affected by their ongoing baiting attempts & how to let go... Tough, very solitary place to be in... Sending you much love ❤❤❤

[@gutsandgrittv5076]

I can relate❤

[@raffaelaperez6633]

@gutsandgrittv5076 Sadly, so (very much) can I 💔 Much love & strength to all of you ♡

[@LittleItaly75]

I feel this pain so deeply. I am blamed for literally everything and nothing I have done is good enough. There is always something I've done wrong and why I'm a terrible Mother. I've given until I can't give anymore. I've given when I shouldn't have because I was afraid of losing him. It didn't matter what I did. It was always something. I've finally accepted that I've done my absolute best and I pray for him daily. It's all I can do.

[@Almamater8888]

If you have a narcissistic adult child, it’s best to let them go. They are a lost cause and will only put you through hell. They will triangulate and bully you in therapy - and any other opportunity they get. Just try to enjoy the winter of your life in ways that bring you joy and pleasure and forget about them. (and leave them out of your will) Easier said than done, but necessary if you want to stay sane.

[@Almamater8888]

Justin L You must be a lil narcky son! I bet you’re an entitled rascal.

[@jennamoore1018]

I do hope you enjoy the winter years of your life. As a child who may be in a similar situation to you, I would like to let you know that it is painful on the other side and if I had it in me to move forward with my parents I would. Like you, I can see how my mother feels attacked and I can see that for her to acknowledge her responsibility would probably crack her in half - and it is for this reason that I have chosen to go no contact because I cannot just brush things under the rug. I do still want the best for my parents and I am not interested in their money. I would actually trade any inheritance for authentic, honest and personally fulfilled parents in my life.

[@amandad145]

Spot on

[@Kwood10]

@@jennamoore1018 maybe it’s YOU . Point is you are crushing your parents & they will be dead 💀 soon so congrats YOU WON !!! Yay !!!

[@jilljones7600]

@@jennamoore1018 To all of the adult children who go 'no contact' over PETTY reasons: This will come back to you one day in SPADES. Remember that.

[@iamjustsaying4787]

My husband insisted on spoiling our children. They are adults and both just married. I can’t wait until they ask me to help with their coming children. No way!

[@ladylady471]

Thank you for this. My daughter is an alcoholic and narcissist. For all my adult life it is been difficult with her especially as she blames me for everything.. I was a single parent and did my best for her but she blames me for her alcoholism, is extremely jealous of her siblings and she uses my grandchildren as weapons. I speak to her a few times a day and I am loving and supportive because I love her and I want to keep contact with my grandchildren. She has told my grandchildren horrific lies about me to the point my 19 grandson does not even text me back when I message him. I dedicated my life to my daughter because of her alcoholism and because I felt guilty. I have fibro, rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, osteo arthritis, Raynauds, depression and anxiety and my daughter will offer me no help or empathy. She has to have all the attention. Sometimes I hate her especially when she rings me and its obvious she has been drinking but denies she is drinking because then I am walking on eggshells. I cannot take much more.. I have wanted to end my life because she has destroyed me but I have children and grandchildren to think about. I am devastated my grandson believes her lies and I am praying my granddaughter does not do the same. Recently I understood she is narcissistic and it helps knowing that. If I had my chance and life again I would have let go and detach with love. I am in my 60's now and exhausted after cancer treatment and lockdown but she has no empathy for me. Take advice and save your own life and detach with love. Thank you for this video

[@em3678]

My Goodness 😢going through the exact same thing. Praying for peace for all.

[@Lokey21]

I really appreciate this video you put together here. I’m very new to what Narcissistic Abuse is and it blew my mind once I realized that my adult daughter was most likely misdiagnosed with Bipolar disorder. Both are terrible disorders to live with, but this Narcissistic Abuse that I’ve been dealing with is pure torture to my soul because it is my child doing this to me. She had an amazing childhood where we (both parents) were present, supportive and protective. Some where after she graduated high school and started drinking and smoking weed, is when we noticed all of these changes in her behavior (NPD.) I started my journey to find out what was happening with her and that is when The Roller Coaster ride began. I finally have a better understanding of what is happening, but like you said “ It’s not much information on this disorder when it is related to the adult children and finding a therapist that is well versed in Narcissism is difficult.” ..... This video was extremely helpful in helping me to understand where to start with getting some real help for her. I’m in a place of not really liking her much and that part hurts me the most. I don’t want to have these negative feelings about her but all of her actions have taken a real toll on my emotions towards her. Thank you again for this amazing video 😊😊

[@sheilaprice1942]

YOU can be a GREAT PARENT BUT!! If this child was overly indulged and did not get the training of accountability for their actions, we created an entitled personality. I know so many parents going through that and they question themselves what did THEY do wrong?!? We tried our BEST to encourage OUR CHILDREN to have a better life and it fell on deaf ears. They decided to take the opportunity and US for granted. Well, the Bible said when you have done ALL... Just STAND DOWN. Please, bless your child DO NOT HOLD THEM EMOTIONAL HOSTAGE. YOU have done the BEST you could. They are now ADULTS allow them their journey. We are ALL prodigal children allow God to work the lessons they need to grow spiritually. They don’t call it the school of HARD-KNOCKS for nothing. Hey, we ALL need to trip now and then😉 Even time you rescue them YOU delay the lesson from them knowing GOD for themselves. God will supply their needs.. get out the way!! Dr Phil on TV said “ Every-time you rescue your children it’s to MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER” because as soon as they get on their feet they turn against. Folks, I am in this with you!!! I’m sharing this with you as a reminder to myself. Blessings to you all 🙏🏼🥰

[@NickyM_0]

@@sheilaprice1942 If you know your Bible well you will know Ephesians 6! We are in spiritual warfare. We are not dealing with the flesh and blood child before us. We are dealing with dark spirits that have entered our children. Hence the evil nature of their actions which are controlled by demonic forces. No-one is holding our children via emotional hostage! We love our Children. Dr Phil is no substitute for GOD. GOD wants family deliverance and family restoration.

[@jacquelinefroehle3583]

@@sheilaprice1942 ...Great comment. I do believe too many kids were overindulged. They have lessons to learn.

[@slestage5725]

Wow this is so spot on. I am an empath mom, who way over compensated for their narcissistic father. We have been split for many years but the damage was done, particularly with one of my sons. Its so hard to see my grandchildren’s confused and scared faces at times and I can see they want more of me too. I slip a wink to them when I know their dad is not around to see it. I pray they know that I am trying to convey to them, that I love them deeply and I understand their pain❤️

[@jerrywise]

It can definitely be hard not to interfere with our kids struggles and responsibilities. Awareness of where we and and they begin is key ❤️

[@janetbederman3924]

Immaturity is main cause of non resolution. Some adult children can’t seem to see through their parents eyes an can’t realize most people did the best they could with their situation and tools or lack thereof for coping. Unfortunately they can’t accept that their parent didn’t intentionally hurt them. And blaming also prevents them from looking at their own part in conflict.

[@Hewasiswillbe]

After treating you like muck, they also make you feel extremely guilty. They don't search their conscience on how they treat you. I raised them without their father and now I deal with their negative behaviour. They always want me to apologise but would never do it themselves.

[@jerrywise]

Hi Ruhi, this playlist may be helpful to you- kzbin.info/aero/PLoYQTW09i3W3uf_7bfMAT0WXigH1YIMDn

[@marissajoseph5638]

Our daughter had a lawyer send us a letter stating any contact with her, spouse and kids is harassment and we will be charged with such. She told an "ex" friend of hers that we're dead to her. Our lawyer sent a letter expressing our desire to settle the differences. These people lived with us for 3 years. This is the gratitude we get. I'm on meds, in therapy and losing control of my life. I'd like to drag her ass into court for elder abuse. What she's done to us and others is vile.

[@hiddenhand6973]

She hasn’t abused you by cutting off contact and living with you isn’t something you can lord over her. I suspect from your words here that she had good reason to create distance. Narcissists often play the victim, after all.

[@jesusfaith2232]

@@hiddenhand6973and you know this how?…..mean troll

[@annharrison4774]

Why is it always the MOTHER that gets blamed? Then the siblings are torn, as to whether to follow the Mother or a much- loved sister/brother?

[@urmom8207]

It's called misogyny

[@She_McGee]

well, my mother played favourites and scapegoated me, her mother also played favourites. Now, my brother is a narcissist and he is very abusive, but it's pretty covert. the roles have never changed, though my brother admitted over 20 years ago that I was mistreated, but he was drunk, his revelation didn't last. I introduced him to his future wife, he turned her against me, they were both abusive toward me, then he turned me against her, then alienated his kids from both of us and now it's my fault he got divorced even though, as his ex told me recently, he was abusive toward her - verbally and mentally, which is also my experience with him. I think my dad might also be a narc, maybe borderline. narcissism runs in families, it's a toxic family system that gets repeated generation after generation. the only way a child becomes a narc when neither parent is, is if they were taught to be one, as in - spoiled, treated as if and/or told they are special, permissive parenting. my brother was treated that way and neglected at times. I was neglected and abused, projected onto. literally since the day I was born I could not do anything right, starting with my sex. wrong colour hair, etc.

[@CH-in8dm]

@@amuseher ......yep I lived with that for 2 decades.....he did his work well

[@lovearttherapyalways]

Yes it really gets me upset how the world is always blaming mothers yet the fathers are usually narcissists themselves or neglectful, addicted, cheaters, poor providers if at all, etc... while the mother sacrifices her all and gets paid back with slander, abuse, and all the blame for everything. It is really disgusting actually! I have two narcissistic brothers and my father is a narcisist and my brothers both blame my mother for everything although my mother worked three jobs and cooked and cleaned and did everything in her power to care for her four children. My father was a raging alcoholic and was never home yet all the blame falls on my mother... I am perplexed and horrified and yes I said it disgusted, thoroughly disgusted.

[@sirrantsalott]

You did this to yourself, you know exactly what you did to cause this, you raised this child

[@sandys2672]

After many years of confusion about my daughter, I found out about NPD. Thank God for people like you Jerry! The NPD survivor and codependent groups have literally saved my sanity. I am 2 years into self love recovery. I’m now able to work on my relationship with my daughter. But it isn’t a one-way street. Boundaries and grey rock have been working best.

[@mollreb8777]

Hi cat, at what point did you see a turning point, I would love to hear of the boundaries you instilled how did you instigate that happening, many tks x

[@TheCatquillen]

How did you find the groups??

[@mistyjordan7147]

That's what I had to do with my current ex-narc and my youngest son. I had to litterly put a stonewall up, to gaurd my heart, and my mind from their toxic behaviors. 1/2 gone and 1 to go. Since, my ex been gone, there has been semi peace here. I still have my son with NARC/PTSD/MPD (multiple personality disorder) I think there's 3 or 4 that's inside of him. I told him, he better have a conference meeting with them, to let them know; hey, I'm not the enemy, I am your mother, trying to help 🥰. If he don't get it together, they all have to go somewhere cause, y'all can't stay here. 🤣🤪😇🙏💯

[@dorothy792]

@@mistyjordan7147 Did he not explode into narcissistic rage? I have thought of sending mine one of these videos.

[@mistyjordan7147]

@@dorothy792 Girl, that 🤡, turned into whole 👹on me. He yelled, cussed and flexed his muscles at the same time. This🤯my mind, and I wasn't going to stick around, and witness his minions poppin' out. My daughter and I, left asap, and was downtown, getting an Order of Protection against him. When we got back home, my son was quiet like a church🐁 and behaved as if nothing happened. 🤷‍♀️

[@mimigrace7591]

My mom is wonderful and easy and kind- my sister has a real mean streak and she married a narcissist and now my family doesn’t exist anymore. My sister was my best friend and now I can’t even see her. It’s been 8 years and I’m still shattered. It’s 1:30 am and I can’t sleep because of my sadness. This describes my sister perfectly….she sounds like the narcissist!!!! Wow!!! I’m blown away.

[@savedbygrace745]

Story of my life. I tried so hard to be a good Mom. 😢

[@janeraymond1799]

My daughter has used her children as a weapon against me. I have totally let go. I want no part of any of this anymore. I am working on me and whatever time I have left on this earth.

[@heymcdonald593]

Glad I found this. I feel so alone going through my daughter 22 is a narcissist. Claims I abused her but I never did. She has gone over board and has slandered us online its been a horrific nightmare. I was raised by a narc. Mother so I did whatever I could to not be like her and my other 2 kids are well balanced. It all started when she got engaged is when it all went out of control. I think her new husband may also be one and has played into her going off the deep end. I am shattered and broken. Dealing with my mothers toxic behaviors is bad enough but my child has broken me. We have tried everything. She has cut off not just us but the whole family. There is no hope.

[@CH-in8dm]

So sorry for you, I well know your pain. My daughter 23 is same...the slander and lies and claims of abuse are horrendous. And her cit off included her much loved grandpa, grandma aunt etc. But is in close contact with evil narc stepfather and his kids who are the same. Gave her a beautiful home, life, horses, animals, private school and bucket loads of love........to now be abused and slandered by her. My daughter is dead.....a horrendous evil creature now resides in her body I hope you find some peace and goodness in life still

[@Sniper083]

Praying for your daughter. This time is hard for you i’m sure. I cant relate to the pain you must be feeling because I have no children. Put her in God’s hands. Pray for healing and blessings for your daughter. I pray for healing and blessings for you and that God changes your situation for the better. Cause we on our own strength cant help your daughter, only God can. God bless you.

[@mshawaiioz]

Thank you for your advice. It’s a hell I never thought was possible to experience. You’re spot on in everything you have presented in this video.

[@jerrywise]

You are so welcome

[@for_reals_tho]

I was young mom and I wasn’t perfect and lived in survival mode for the first 10 years of my daughter’s life . However, the last 9 years have been healthy and stable , I’ve grown into the mother God intends me to be and she hates me now and says she hopes I die . I’ve never been more heartbroken. I am setting healthy boundaries and I had to ask her to leave the home and she says she will never talk to me . She’s called me once to scream and yell and continue the battle. I have thrown in the towel and I can’t argue and defend myself anymore. Now, I have to protect my peace and mental health. Hers too. 💔

[@SukiSays23]

I’m so sorry. The pain is like being electrocuted. Take care of yourself ❤️‍🔥

[@jennifersweet1714]

Oh how I can painfully relate to all that you have spoken in this. So painful. Thank you for the guidance.

[@janiceking4415]

After 15 years of abuse, lies and sheer nasty behaviour from my daughter...a narcissist who sadly married a vile narcissist...I have finally this year told her very bluntly that I am done with her and never want to see her or speak to her ever again...she is so nasty that, and thank god, she said she would never give up her life for children... the constant stress and heartache has left me with a nasty heart condition 2 nervous breakdowns and more...I now feel complete relief that she is out of my life..

[@hikingviking859]

My parents were verbally attacked and insulted by a narcissist daughter in law. She has her husband, my brother, thinking ugly things about his family that aren’t true. My Dad died last year having endured three years of the silent treatment from his son because his wife has brainwashed him. Terrible situation.

[@natureartist6598]

Nancy sounds like my daughter. It’s such a challenge.

[@barbarafrack7084]

Your poor parents. Just awful. Sorry for your loses.

[@BrandyH-eh9up]

I’m so sorry. That’s awful

[@beyondwords2909]

Bravo for seeing the problem keep the door open your brother will one day get it

[@VM-123]

My oldest son is married to a sociopath just like that. He is completely alienated from his entire family and friends.

[@YAHSWarrior7777]

If the narcissist doesn’t want to change, how can we as the parent try to change them? I’m truly getting tired of fighting for our family. I believe going no contact is the only way to solve this issue. Allow the narcissistic adult child to grow up. Especially if all other resources have been exhausted. You can use all the mediators in the world, if the narcissist doesn’t want to do better, nothing will be better for the survivors. Most narcissists do not change for the better. I’m speaking from dealing with a narcissistic son’s father and the son. Otherwise, you will run into a brick wall every time. Love yourself, and allow the MOST HIGH YAHUAH to love and deal with your narcissistic children. Blessings.🙏🏾💖

[@jerrywise]

I like Margalis Fjelstad's book Stop Caretaking the Narcissist and Borderline Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information. Also, I have another workshop coming up in April, 2021 “Overcoming Shame and Guilt with Family-of-origin Work It will be April 10th Saturday 1-5pm EST on Zoom Sign up on website to get info on workshops www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/event-details/overcoming-guilt-and-shame-through-family-of-origin-work-workshop Sign up now for early bird price I also have three other workshops for rent or sale on my website: • Introduction to Self-Differentiation-Workshop • Reducing Your Reactivity-Workshop • Getting Your Family-of-Origin Out of You-Workshop www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com

[@CH-in8dm]

Agreed...Living it

[@mariepeartree5018]

Yah's Warrior I am with you completely on this. I have cried decades of tears for a narcissistic son who has slandered me, lied, abused me verbally to the point where I said enough and walked away. I feel the only choice I had left was to love him from afar and pray for him. Enough is enough! It is like the heart of Pharoah, hard and calloused... a heart no one can reach. Sad but true.

[@mountaincreekhomestead]

Exactly mine are 22 & 30

[@mountaincreekhomestead]

I agree. Both my daughters have tore me down. They are 22 & 30 no children TG so disrespectful and verbally abusive. I'm done, cut off contact. They are selfish and spoiled by dadd side while mom done all the raising

[@treehugnhipi3765]

My god. I felt as if you were describing my relationship with my daughter, minus grandkids, thank God. I have never heard it put into words, details, that so resemble my experience with my adult daughter. I have been looking for a therapist, haven't found one yet but am continuing my search. I am so glad i stumbled upon your channel...it was divine intervention. Thank you so much! 💕

[@dgloss1951]

Thank you for this, Jerry! You are so on target! I've had the sad, destructive experience of going to the wrong counselor and not being able to finish a sentence with all the grief and anger after a relationship-crushing argument with my sick daughter! I had spent at least 20 years making living amends and walking on eggshells. That counselor turned against me and told me I had ADD, hadn't made ANY progress in my own 30-year journey in recovery. Later recognized that while I had made progress, I had to let go of the illusion of having a decent relationship. Wasn't gonna happen. That spiraled me into all the stages of grief. It's been two years and I've been healing through Al-Anon. Lots of folks believe that you have to go to the mat for family and keep it up. It was literally killing me, and stopping has been like a kind of withdrawal. I have found people who understand, but gave up on finding a therapist in my small city. Learning to take care of myself--exercise, meditate, attend meetings. Grandson is now in college. . . . So thank you! I look forward to viewing your other posts.

[@quietbluestormsurvivorbyfa4043]

Im going through hell right now... I just found out about my new husband of last year is a narcissists and ill be damned if he didn't turn my 17 year old son against me.. i put my husband ass out and my son keeps running away and coming back calling me bitches and tore up the whole house day for yesterday. So im just now finding iut about my son. Im being abused by both of them. My husband set this up. Tohurt me.. Im so sick right now. I have not SLEPT in a week

[@jantelopez5626]

yeah you don't have to cling to your kids when they are adults. It's only narc parents who need that source of drama - a caring stead parent will know they did their best unlike a narc who is terrified of their kid ever being functional

[@aldarodrigues761]

Thank you for this presentation as it has hit home. While it’s not easy to stop thinking of my son who is 34 years and sad, I realize I must seek counseling to get through.

[@jerrywise]

You are very welcome, I’m glad the video was helpful. Thank you for watching the video!

[@abbigailgutierrez6880]

This video was truly more helpful than most. It gives encouragement and speaks truth to the fact that there are deeper family issues surrounding it all. It’s so hard to find someone who fits what you speak of in helping in this area of family dynamic. It is truly painful to be a parent of a child with these traits and having your grandchildren taken away from you for seemingly little things .

[@summerfunez1581]

I'm so incredibly grateful for this video, I know I'm not alone. Thank you.

[@cheralyse1352]

Thank you for your attention to this tragedy. You have clearly put it into a few sentences whereas I have been struggling for years to define, clarify, fix it all in my head - resulting only in chronic depression. My attempt with a mediator was a disaster. My dtr used it as another opportunity to trash me, paint me as black, etc. etc. Since her father died (of Aids - he was sexually fluid) she has canonized him as a saint and me as a place to dump her and his faults. You have given me permission to let go.

[@paulamarinaro9178]

I hope you know what an incredible help you have given parents of NPD. My daughter abused me for years and years. I went through parental guilt forever....cutting the proverbial chord was the most difficult thing I have ever done. Now she has a child and I will not allow her to weaponize that child against me so unfortunately I will have no relationship with her. It's all very sad but the healing has begun.

[@taraelmegreen5527]

This is my only child, age 25.. she is so angry, accuses me of things and is taking her father's side as I divorce him after 28 years of abuse, and he was abusive to her too,, oh how wrong and blinded I was!!! .....She stood me up for Christmas, calls me toxic and is cruel snd accusatory. "I hate you and your new found self improvement!" I'm devestated and angry...its ALWAYS moms fault! I'm a co-dependent and am learning and protecting, and loving myself for the first time IN 51 years! She had a wonderful childhood, never wanted for things but tried not to spoil, it's hard not to with An only...im in process of divorce, grateful for God's mercy, strength and love......#nolongerstrugglinginoklahoma

[@jerrywise]

Tara, I'm so sorry your daughter is so immature and thinks she can deal with her past (true or untrue) by blaming you or railing against you. We never heal this way. This might be a good video kzbin.info/www/bejne/goqZe4J9ZdyBnaM Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information. Also, Please sign up for the upcoming workshop “Getting Your Family of Origin Out of You” Workshop Date: February 6, Saturday Time: 1pm EST - 5pm EST Zoom www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events [Even if you are not able to attend, if you sign up for this workshop, I will send you your own copy of the full workshop and the workshop notes]

[@mgkos]

Jerry hve followed u on & off for years. You’ve become so clear, authentic & grounded , it’s so encouraging. Much peace & happiness to u

[@karenwinston1440]

Thank you...You have given me hope for dealing with my broken heart cincercerning my only child and.her two precious sons-my grandsons -who are missing out with the love, time, and attention that I want so much to give them but have been denied. I am now going to seek help to address this because the pain and loss have ruined my health and well-being. Your video sounded like you knew me and were talking about all the feelings I had been experiencing. I know that I am not alone and what I've felt has been validated for the first time.

[@jerrywise]

I’m happy i was able to validate what you’re experiencing, you are definitely not alone!❤️

[@paulsloth5709]

Dont say sorry , until they show tremendous empathy and that is almost impossible to achieve . Any sign of weakness you show is always used against you . Stay calm and live your life, DO NOT get dragged into their life of doom and gloom as they try to drag you into their drama . Go out and live life with or without them, they have a choice to make .

[@jantelopez5626]

it's a parents role to show be more emotional mature than they are. Needing "tremendous" empathy is what a toddler expects from its mom. You need to be accountable for providing emotional security to a child who's brain is structuring itself for life.

[@paulsloth5709]

@@jantelopez5626 couldn't agree more but we need to make a clear distinction between toddlers, teenagers and even young adults versus fully grown adults

[@elan007]

It is heartbreaking. Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families offered the support I needed.

[@awake6472]

I have a son who has been in Counseling for at least three years. And has in that period of time spoken down to me spoken to me like a child....giving me long lectures on what l have done. How I should do things... even suggested I do a psychology course because that would help me to understand because he says that I have a mental problem. His recent two conversations were saying that l have treated him poorly for years and he is no longer going to allow me to do that...He believes that I am in capable of communicating and that I throw tantrums like a child. It is my 60th birthday in two weeks and I have had no contact with him for quite some time. He got his sister to call me because he wants to come to my 60th birthday dinner party/celebration. But I am not able to feel any warmth towards him. I really refused to pretend to be fake when I see him. As a mother I am disappointed and saddened that I am the target of everything that happened to him as a child. I just can’t say yes he can attend for I am too deeply grieved

[@mariafriend644]

I hope you’ve made your mental health a priority. The accusations and blaming will never end. Pray for him and put him in God’s hands. That’s what I’m doing.

[@margaretbradley6693]

Think that is a good choice.

[@setfree4325]

I deal with the same thing with my daughter 😭 she has even gotten her brother to turn his back on me

[@carlahayes8460]

My three older brothers are narcissistic. I choose to remove myself from them. I’m done with the hurt and humiliation ❤

[@carlahayes8460]

They are in their late 50s. I’m 53. I’m the baby sister who they despise for no reason 😢

[@livinginthepines]

@@carlahayes8460 Extra painful when you know how much love and protection you should have gotten from them and instead they caused you hurt & trauma. In my case, my brother causing physical pain. That's how I feel about my brother and 2 step brothers. I'm the baby in the family too. And they still don't get it or care.

[@suzannewing7574]

God Bless you from ALL parents with broken hearts!!

[@jerrywise]

Thank you, god bless you too😊

[@katepenk3401]

Thank you for your kindness

[@olderandwiser333]

Ramani Durvasula, author of one of the books you mention here, has a You Tube channel called Doctor Ramani wherein she talks about all things related to narcissism including at least one video about being the parent of a narcissist. In that video, she makes the point that every narcissist out there, has parents (as do we all).That struck me like a ton of bricks, because as you mentioned, and as she does as well, there is very little information or support out there for us parents of narcissists. How ironic is that, considering the truth of the statement that every narcissist has parents? In my opinion it strongly illustrates the way our society blames most of its ills on bad parenting, judging and writing us off for our imperfections; forgetting that every one of us is raised by other flawed humans, who were raised by other flawed humans etc etc ad infinitum. Thank you for being one of the few offering help to those of us struggling with this devastating reality.

[@jerrywise]

You are so welcome Astrelsa I have another workshop coming up in April 10, 2021 “Overcoming Shame and Guilt with Family-of-origin Work It will be April 10th Saturday 1-5pm EST on Zoom Sign up on website to get info on workshops www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/event-details/overcoming-guilt-and-shame-through-family-of-origin-work-workshop Sign up now for early bird price I also have three other workshops for rent or sale on my website: • Introduction to Self-Differentiation-Workshop • Reducing Your Reactivity-Workshop • Getting Your Family-of-Origin Out of You-Workshop www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional

[@jantelopez5626]

i think you missed the point entirely. NPD isn't a disease like MS... it is a strategy to deal with problems a person has with the concept of self and other .. and that is GREATLY influenced by a childs parents interaction with them . if you can't give a kid reliable positive assurance while setting boundaries and explaining why .. then you make the kid feel liek they cant rely on people at all.. everyone feels like a threat. the support you need is learning self reflection and not assuming that all you are is a victim.. as a parent you need to be able to just accept how people feel and not assign heroes and villains to everything

[@jantelopez5626]

sorry but how are parents "written off" when our laws treat children more like possessions of parents with parental "rights" than humans born with their own human rights . we dont protect children's human rights at all! because they can't vote . A growing child has basic emotional needs that are not accounted for at all. A spouse is given more legal protection than children and marriage is something an adult signs up for themselves! There is never justice for the brain damage caused to a child by an abusive parent

[@gillps5130]

@@jantelopez5626 No of course it's not like MS. NPD is a mental disease and can be partially genetic. It is highly destructive and is completely abnormal. More attention should be brought to it in relation to parents. I believe if more social opprobrium were attached to abuse of parents these vile people would have to cool it a bit. It's not got Meggan Markle anywhere in the popularity polls. But it's an ill wind. A spotlight has now been thrown on the ugly nature of this disturbing behaviour.

[@jantelopez5626]

@@gillps5130 "more social opprobrium were attached to abuse of parents".. absolutely not!.. parents are not some fragile protected group.. children ARE! stop babying grown ass consenting adults who CHOOSE to bring life into the world. having a kid isnt like marrying another consenting adult.. where you get to divorce and forget about them.. your behaviour has lifelong effects on your kids brain function ! You better be sure you know what signing up for and how you plan to put the kid emotional needs BEFORE YOUR OWN. A human child is also not a pet.. because children are born free with their own rights.. and society entrusts parents to protect those rights. a baby's brain is FAR more advanced than a puppy's and raising one is not like training a dog.. because kids have language and how you use it matters.. The vast majority of known child abusers and child murderers in the US and UK are PARENTS of the victim! around 8% of adults in england and wales were emotionally abused in childhood by their parents (mostly mothers) a similar number were physically abused by parents (mosly fathers) Parents are NOT currently doing great as a group of people at raising emotionally secure (well) children anyway.. with only a little over half of children in the US (55%) managing to securely attach to their parent! Parents are pot luck.. and a LOT of them do not manage to do their job or have the qualities to do their job. If anything parents need to be read their baby's rights and ought to sign a parenting contract .. its much more important than marriage. and deserves state time unlike marriage... and divorce.

[@ducky8072]

Thanks for advice. I have had issues with my child since she was a teen. I thought she would outgrow it but at age 37 she has not. I guess she never will

[@zhmw]

My daughter is 30 years old. She has always been my husband and my 'wild child' and we would say, 'she always dances on the line' and when she turned 18, she crossed the line. She has been in and out of relationships, irresponsible with her money, and can't keep a job and always demands my attention. For the last few days, I choose to ignore her after she got angry at me and accused me of everything she could think of. She even accused me of doing charity work. So, I don't know where our relationship will go but I am no longer going to allow her to manipulate nor bully me. Mindfulness meditation really helps me to stay calm.

[@jeanetteoneil4562]

Having the same problem. Maybe be is 32. I do not want her back in my life.

[@anitavirginillo]

Mine is 36 and I'm still waiting...Go no contact if they only know how to abuse you.

[@Nikicoh]

My daughter is 30, I also thought she would grow out of it, I was wrong. She has blamed me for anything and everything under the sun, she has turned my two other children against me. My husband has not stuck up for me and everyone is intimidated by her. Unfortunately I have left my marriage of 25 years as I just can’t deal anymore. So sad but it’s good to know I’m not alone in this heartache.

[@barbaraknowles2713]

Yep I feel you

[@GingerWolfe61]

I am beyond sick of it

[@crissieroserose]

i hear you

[@94blessed]

Yes My Daughter Used me for years Because she knew how much I love my 11 year old granddaughter!! You are a Gift from God because I needed to realize I have to let Go Because my Blame me for everything I am getting stronger each Day 🙌🏽I don’t trust her at all anymore!!🙌🏽💕😊

[@bandieboo8102]

I feel for you. They use the children as weapons. Sad but true. Very hurtful esp when gkids love you. I hope you are doing okay. X

[@julietyler2717]

My daughter just told me not to attend her wedding or she would call the police. I bought her her dress and gave her my dad’s ring. I also lost my mom last year and have been grieving deeply of which I get absolutely no support. My daughter lives 6 hours away and I’ve been trying to establish a visit with her. I told her I felt left out as the other family had taken over. She blocked me from all phone calls and texts.. as well as her husband. Tomorrow is their wedding… the 19th. Her dad will be there with his girlfriend but not me. Do narcissists pick on one person or another or both. Seems like I’m getting the blunt of it. I’ll buy those books but I’m also not accepting any contact currently. She can email or write or email me. This is tough love at its finest.

[@leslieg8176]

My adult children have cut me off because I'm a Christian. I can't see my six grandchildren and they have tried to make me their scapegoat. I pray for them everyday and God is faithful. They are malignant narcissists and they want to hurt me, but I know that God loves me and He has healed me. God is the best therapist and the Bible gives the wisest advice. I trust that when the time is right I will see my grandchildren again. In the meantime, I enjoy the life that God has blessed me with and the wonderful husband that I can share life with. I try to focus on the blessings instead of the garbage and I know my identity in Christ.

[@PiscesLove361]

I just looked at this video. Thank You, I understand now I did the right thing by removing myself from my sons abusive blame game. Even though I lost my grandchildren to this disaster of a relationship. I understand that God is protecting me...

[@jaydeecee1643]

Its sad letting go of your adult children.....but I would rather not spoil my memories of when they were young with the horrible memories of their abuse in the present!

[@flowergirl-pp7vz]

This is exactly how I think about it too. If I let the friction go on too long, I’m afraid I’ll end up hating her. I want to have happy memories and also a certain amount of affection and best wishes for her. Right now, we’re having a few months of no contact. We’ll see what the future brings. This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through.

[@carodriguez57]

I have one but never noticed until I lost everything, and now I have to lived with him. Its awful behavior is appalling. 😢

[@kelly6181]

I now truly understand her mind set - to hurt and cause pain in others so you feel the same hurt she feels. It doesn’t matter if your a person or an animal. Her infliction of pain gives her a sense of control and pleasure. Sick mind. My advice, no contact period. Don’t fall for the drama.

[@mountaincreekhomestead]

Exactly because I'm starting to hate and I don't want to feel that. I'm at the End point.n

[@alisonhay5924]

I had to walk away from it. If been through a lot of things in my time but this is by far the most hurtful💔

[@jacquelinefroehle5868]

I had all those feelings....now I don't. I learned that the best I can do is be a happy, honest, whole person in my own life....and that's enough. That's right....they know if you feel parental guilt, and play on you. Even when I'm happy about doing things for them....I painted portraits of her entire family, and the cat, and even a painting of their antique house.....she likes it....however it's "Still not good enough"....You can never do anything GOOD ENOUGH FOR A NARCISSIST. I told the Adult kids....I do not even want to be Good enough for you. I'm good enough for myself, Paul and our little dog. Even getting a dog....she's angry, "My cat may not like your dog"....me "Oh Well....we don't let your Cat make decisions for us"...lol.

[@SusanDaugherty-ig9wr]

I'm so thankful to have found this as I sit heartbroken. Unfortunately I am/was extremely close to my 4 year old grand daughter. Just yesterday the no contact began. I feel like I'm dying inside. I'm all alone, no friends, not married. I moved to Vegas to help this daughter. Please help me. I need someone to talk to.

[@jeangood2748]

Thank you for your support. I haven’t seen my only adult daughter for eight years to the point I feel I am developing dementia and heart issues because of the grief..

[@PamelaWildman-Williams]

I heard somewhere that extended narcissistic abuse affects the brain. I heard that instead of using your pre-frontal cortex part of the brain you start to use the mid-brain area. It’s not dementia but can affect us like mega brain fog, wording finding and forgetfulness. It can heal I believe with addressing the trauma with a narcissistic aware professional. Like Jerry here. One thing I feel very strongly that is a vital issue … try to get the sleep pattern sorted. (Said she who’s typing this at 4.45am, in 🇬🇧). I’m trying and will get there as indeed you will too. Keep the faith switch on! Big love to all you who are suffering - may your minds be healed and your broken hearts be completely mended together. Big GBU all 🙏❤️x

[@angelamwatts]

Thank you Jerry. You have described my relationship with my oldest son to a tee. I was 17 when I had him and his father wasn't involved much in his life. My parenting skills were not good as I lacked the wisdom and maturity to be a good mom. I did the best that I could and I did love my boys. My younger son and I don't like my oldest son's behavior. He lies, manipulates, gaslights, uses people and constantly blames others for his problems and poor decisions. I have 3 grandchildren. I am not allowed to see the kids. He is constantly using the kids as pawns to punish me. I think that the gf just goes along with him to stay out of it. I am under the impression she's unhappy with him. He's a mess. I tried so many times to talk it out and to reconcile with him, set boundaries and keep it light but that isn't happening. He constantly plays the victim and blames me and others for the outcome of his poor decisions. He especially keeps me away and I think it's because he constantly lies and cheats on the women he gets involved with. I had expressed my disapproval of this behavior because these women were getting hurt and so were their children and my grandchildren. Any way that he can abuse to maintain control is what he does and sadly the kids are his weapon of abuse. I've come to the point where I've accepted him for who he is and have stepped off. No contact was the only way I could maintain peace and sanity for myself. He's not going to change so he can live his toxic, narcissistic life and I'll live my life separate and apart. I didn't want it this way but the chances of having a healthy low contact relationship with someone this toxic is impossible. The point is with some narcissists it IMPOSSIBLE to have low contact with healthy boundaries because it's only a matter of time when the next "offense" will happen and the children will be pulled away again. It's not fair to the kids.

[@glennisjones1745]

Wow I am glad that I stayed and listened to this video till the end. I was sharing with my adult Son. Drugs is just a symptom of his problem. They enhance what's already there which is narcissism. I am in the process of putting an injunction on him it hurts so bad , I was just thinking the other day how I keep hoping our family can be together in a loving way. For years when he was younger I was on drugs and I contributed to that. However I have been in recovery for many years and have tried to help him in every way that I know how I love my son dearly, but I am also afraid of him and for him . I am not going to give up on seeking help for him now that I have more information from you, but I know I have to do that apart from him. He keeps telling me, Ma you are all I've got. and I keep falling for the manipulation and the verbal abuse. It actually got physical one time. I've always been the person and the place that he could that he could come back running to when he abused his friendships and places that he lived because for one i am momma and two the guilt and shame from the past of me using and abusing drugs and therefore abusing and neglecting him. However this stand that I am taking is so hard but I have to let God be God in his life and move out of the way. I have apologized over and over again , I've been there for him . He is in denial. Father God help us!!

[@victoriavitoroulis3273]

Don't feel shame .. while your recovering yourself I'm sober 21 years and my 24 yr old never seen me when I was actively using .. but they'll find other ways of shaming you . My daughter has accused me of the most outrages things .. but I'm learning too not give emotional reactions to them .. they feed off your emotions , learning how to Gray rock method helps . And thank god my other child is a reality check that I am a great mom and the krazy thing is the narc child says so , but treats me like shit . It's like the invasion of the body snatchers .. hey where's my beautiful once loving child turned into the demon seed . I know one thing she will not ruin my sobriety .. sometimes I think she wants that .. in her rages she'll say go take a pill & drink . I'm so afraid that she'll meet someone that'll physically hurt her w her nasty mouth . Stay narc free .. this is the real universal pandemic ! 😿

[@bigmamaliving7714]

@@victoriavitoroulis3273 my son to he's 26 now he's been controlling my right I'm tired now I have to let go and let God have call me names says he wishes I was dead I turn my phone off and just start praying for him. It was hard at first to ignore him now it's getting easier and easier. 🙏😇🙏

[@debratandy9725]

Ditto. So sorry you know my pain. Jesus is the only one who truly understands. And who can help 😊

[@gracebennion2000]

You have been speaking word for word about my daughter. Because of a trivial upset, she withdrew herself, my grandchildren and her husband for 7 months. This is abuse. And as you said, my grandchildren had now idea what was happening, they just knew they were missing their grandma terribly. I am learning to be more of an observer these days, than getting myself emotionally involved.

[@jerrywise]

So sorry to hear this I have another workshop coming up in April 10, 2021 “Overcoming Shame and Guilt with Family-of-origin Work It will be April 10th Saturday 1-5pm EST on Zoom Sign up on website to get info on workshops www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/event-details/overcoming-guilt-and-shame-through-family-of-origin-work-workshop Sign up now for early bird price I also have three other workshops for rent or sale on my website: • Introduction to Self-Differentiation-Workshop • Reducing Your Reactivity-Workshop • Getting Your Family-of-Origin Out of You-Workshop www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional

[@jantelopez5626]

@@gracebennion2000 it's frustrating but hardly abuse its small potatoes compared to doing this to a child by being emotionally unavailable .. i mean if no one can be bothered to protect kids from permanent brain damage and life long emotional dysregulation i really dont know why a grown adult cant live with a few years of disappointment . sorry but i think we need perspective on how the word abuse is bandied about and barely respected. some people never get to have a family because of adults putting themselves before their kids. Parents need to be the emotionally more mature ones - thats what a parent is. a crappy child may be a thing but this isn't something that takes away your freedom.

[@gracebennion2000]

​@@jantelopez5626 No point trying to explain a history of events. Impossible to verbalize trauma. Certainly not small potatoes in my experience. All the best anyway. Do wish you every happiness in life.

[@jantelopez5626]

@@gracebennion2000 be kind to yourself

[@marystroot425]

It was hard enough going through this with my ex-husband. Unfortunately, I didn’t get out early enough and now I have a grown son behaving the same way. Resources are so helpful.

[@karenkasteler942]

Why does this stuff just EXHAUST ME.....why can't I have the patience to enjoy the journey and have the energy to hang in there.....?

[@barbarafrack7084]

Because it IS exhausting. And nothing about this journey is enjoyable.

[@livininamerica76]

It’s the most mentally and emotionally draining thing to go through. Everyone has advice yet they don’t understand how unreasonable a narcissist truly is

[@twilabarnd2934]

It’s so exhausting for sure, I have 3 narcissistic adult children. I get so tired of feeling like a throw away. I’m always feeling afraid when things are going well, just waiting for the moment that they turn into monsters and stop talking to me. I try to use humor when this happens, like the aliens took my child and left me their butt hole. Or if I was an animal I would have eaten them, and Christmas just got cheaper. These are only my thoughts never shared with them. But the pain is real and it’s impossible to trust them. So I love them so much when they are around with no need for them to return love, I enjoy the moment and I know they can’t take away the love I have for them. They have been the reason I have a huge God in my life and I know they are cared for no matter what or where they are in their life. Today I have pet pigs to give my love to and I know they will always love me. I’m praying for peace and that they may find the life they are looking for. I stand my ground and set them free. Boy I needed to write this just to remind myself that I’m okay and good.

[@karenkasteler942]

@@twilabarnd2934 You are MORE than okay....you are spot-on and hysterical...thanks for the share, the faith and the laugh....it made my day!

[@alaysiakayebutler6299]

@@twilabarnd2934 thank you Twila. I can appreciate your efforts and perspective. Good will.

[@SydMountaineer]

I agree with what Mr. Wise says - When seeking counselling, the parents need to ALSO work on themselves so that they do not get triggered when trying to work with their adult children, they have to be confident and be able to understand themselves before being successful with their children. They also need to know that when children negatively react to things they say that are NOT verbally abusive, it's because the child is actually reacting to triggers that were downloaded into their brain when they were children, NOT was was actually said/done in reality - actually, ALL people involved need to gain more knowledge about how our brains work, how things get downloaded into our brains in childhood, as children live more in the subconcious than adults do, up until about age 11, so there is nothing there to "block" or to make them question what they're LEARNING as kids. Everyone needs to have a better understanding of themselves. In ancient times, ancient civilizations did not have to worry about this, because it was something that was taught and just taken for granted compared with today - today we have separated physical, mental, and spiritual, so our culture has these problems. Also, our society is very individualistic, which makes us narcissistic, which was enabled greatly by the industrial revolution. Families are nuclear these days, vs extended, which is actually a very dangerous situation. How can people in their 20s & 30s understand themselves enough to raise mentally healthy children? They can't. Some people don't understand their own family dynamics until they are 60 or 80, sometimes never.

[@crissieroserose]

Thank god i found you ,, iv been struggling to understand my daughter for over 20 years now

[@jerrywise]

I'm so glad I could help Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information. Also, Please sign up for the upcoming workshop “Getting Your Family of Origin Out of You” Workshop Date: February 6, Saturday Time: 1pm EST - 5pm EST Zoom www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events [Even if you are not able to attend, if you sign up for this workshop, I will send you your own copy of the full workshop and the workshop notes]

[@lenajohnson2613]

You love your child but you love your self more, don’t forget.

[@kellyeldershomesteadbeginn8242]

It's sad to see that there are many of us dealing with almost the exact same thing. It's unfortunate but to know that I'm not alone definitely helps for some odd reason. So many simular stories and the things he said match up with so much happening in my family almost too the T! How does one go about finding a therapist that specializes in this situation impartially?

[@renebrown995]

So, now I see I am not the only one suffering from my estranged daughter. The shouting matches and talking down to me is over. I cannot keep apologizing and trying to explain things to her on her deaf ears. It has always been all the attention has to be on her. I had to take attention off of three other children just to put extra on her 50 years later it is still the anger towards me. I have cut her off communication wise. My health and well being is more important now.

[@1timeslime971]

“Resist that pining away for the grandchildren”….wow good advice, but I’m not doing very good with that…I NEED to because it’s causing a flare up of my chronic illness. It’s making me so ill…..oh geez…letting go of the family I’ve dreamed of!!!😭😭😭😢😢😢😤😩😠

[@48bumper]

I’ve done the pining! It’s been a long hard trek (5 yrs) not seeing them. Thx to this video, I see my expectations kept me ruminating & sad. Accepting ‘things aren’t going to change’ and learning to love myself first and setting boundaries on myself to stop thinking of grands opened up my mind to things I enjoy!! Be kind and loving to yourself - you did the best you could, now get on being the creative self you were meant to be. ❤️ affirmations!!

[@mattcaseyfriedberg7380]

Thank you for all your tips! So so helpful. I am so exhausted and drained and ready to break the "dammed if you do, dammed if you don't" cycles.

[@kimdavis2508]

My 41 year old narc son changed his phone number 15 months ago. Best & only thing he’s ever done for me! My life has GREATLY improved and I have way more money now. I pray he stays away. No contact people, it’s best for you. Try and you will see. 😂😘😊

[@mysticalvibe4241]

Mysticalvibe65

[@pambromley7481]

My 2 narcissist daughters live a long way away and are out of my life. Best thing they did for me. I hung on for a long time because of the grandchildren, but if they turn out like their mothers (one is already a carbon copy) would I want them about?

[@lisagibson3794]

Wow! Dealing with this is just exhausting. I never realized others were walking this same difficult path. Can we start a support group on Facebook maybe????

[@MJ-my9sg]

4 years no contact. It’s such a shame they’re incapable of loving someone (their mom) besides themselves. Got sick n tired of begging for crumbs off their tables and being used for food, money, place to stay, etc

[@jerrywise]

Good for you PS I have another workshop coming up in April 10, 2021 “Overcoming Shame and Guilt with Family-of-origin Work It will be April 10th Saturday 1-5pm EST on Zoom Sign up on website to get info on workshops www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/event-details/overcoming-guilt-and-shame-through-family-of-origin-work-workshop Sign up now for early bird price I also have three other workshops for rent or sale on my website: • Introduction to Self-Differentiation-Workshop • Reducing Your Reactivity-Workshop • Getting Your Family-of-Origin Out of You-Workshop www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional

[@cellosong]

Jerry "Wise." Your deep insights show that your last name is quite apt. You are a wise person. Thank you for helping families with this video.

[@JJ-dk1lr]

So very happy you are sharing on this topic! It's been on my mind! Thank you!

[@hope46sf]

Thank you for addressing this issue. I agree, there is not much information on the n child. It is so painful to be a parent of a narcissist. You have described my experience. .

[@crissieroserose]

i hear you

[@szendrich]

Thank you for this validation. I found a way around my problem with a narcissistic daughter. After years of grieving and deep depression, of being cut out of her life, ghosted, and maligned, I decided that the only way I could see my grandchildren and build a solid relationship with them was to stop talking about the problem entirely, pretty much pretend it's not there! I.E. I do not refer to my grievances, past or present; I do not share any personal information with her, I do not give an opinion on her personal life, and I have no expectations of her or her husband. They do not visit and I no longer expect them to. Instead, I visit their house, mostly when she needs a babysitter. Basically, we are two strangers and our conversation centres only around the children. She doesn't know me anymore because I put up a front. I talk to her like I would talk to an acquaintance I meet on occasion. There is little to no friction or conflict. I realise this is not a healthy situation, but at least I get to see my grandchildren, who love me when she clearly does not. That's reward enough for me. I've given up believing my daughter will ever change. She's been this bad since she entered puberty at 13. I thought she'd grow out of it, but she is now 31 with two children and she's actually got worse with time. I've learnt to resign myself to this reality in spite of my grief. My grandchildren make me happy. I'm doing it for them!

[@sueannnatter5295]

Simone Z my daughter as well. She is 29 and I have come to the conclusion that she is never going to change. She is 1 of 5 children but she is the only one that's a narcissist. Her boy is 10 and such a sweetheart. He and I are close. Right now she needs my and my husband's help with childcare because she is in school. She was so mean to us on Thanksgiving! Yelling at and mocking me in my own kitchen because my son was there and interacting with his nephew. I am going to try the 'gray rock' strategy. It sounds like that has worked well for you.

[@szendrich]

@@sueannnatter5295 I'm sorry you're going through all that. I know how painful it is. :( Take heart. If you follow my strategy, it could work. Things have improved a bit for me in recent months. It took nearly 5 years, and I still don't know if it'll last, but I feel like I'm finally getting somewhere. Best of luck. xx

[@crissieroserose]

i hear you

[@leebee2268]

Wow! If ever I’m able to get back any sort of relationship with my daughter, this is the only way I believe I’ll be able to do it, if it sustains at all. Your answer to the situation breaks my heart but I completely get it. We all love our children so very much and my heart goes out to everyone on this thread. I now know that I’m not alone in my sadness.

[@alaysiakayebutler6299]

Right on Grandmother! Im going to keep you in mind as I keep striving to detach, in some ways very specifically