Learn to lie. I told my family I work as a lawyer because they want me like that, instead I learn nursing😂

I watched my dad grab my sister by her hair and lift her up from the ground, yes, legs off of the floor, because he was mad at her. This was when we were not even 10. Psycho. Not necessarily in front of anyone, but i just need to get that off my chest since we're talking about children being bear by narcissistic parents!

Partly agree but certainly not because of unresolved trauma but their evilness and sense of entitlement!!!!!!!!

Its more likely bad aquintances than parents in my case that were always bad omen and persistent annoying stalkers

It took a long time for me to step back and realize how awful my parents were as far as child-rearing. There were a lot of things I had to figure out on my own, and they were there every step of the way to scrutinize me for doing something wrong. Why didn't they tell me how to do it? Why didn't they teach me the proper way of doing things, instead of doing nothing to give them opportunity to criticize and harangue me?

KARMA HAVE ALL OF THE ADDRESSES

how can i find a therapist who works in this area and follows these ideas and approach? (as opposed to the self help program)

10:34 yeah. “If I don’t react then they WILL react.” That caused me so much anxiety

I wonder if they are like this completely consciously or unconsciously

where was this 25years ago .. spent years in therapy to learn what is normal parenting

Between my parents it was a sabotaging of emotional stability. My dad was constantly trying to save my mother from herself. Although Nobel, sacrificed honest expression of being human plus reinforcing my mother’s negativity. Sad. Much later, I met a woman who fit nicely into this pattern and I thought I loved her. Rather, I learned more about myself and grew up more. Patterns.

My grandparents basically tried to make me hand over my vehicle to my uncle, who has repeatedly financially screwed them over so many times....and the expected me to be ok with me keeping the lease and everything in my name and him just giving me the money every month...they went as far as to take it upon themselves to get a new title for it and got all mad when I said I didn't want to do that several times already. Like wtf 😅

My Pos mother turned my own sister against me.

I remember during the winter break of my uni, my ndad took me for skiing with his colleagues. Skiing was new to me and I really wanted to learn. But when we arrived, I never got any clear instructions. I tried and tried but simply couldn't get it right. Every time I "slided" down it was more like walking down, and then my ndad would take the heavy snowboards uphill for me (as I didn't know how to use the lift properly either), then I would "walk down" again. We did this same thing over and over and over during the entire time, and he did nothing but taking snowboards for me. The nearby kids were doing so well and enjoying their time while I was just walking on the slope, I felt myself like a fool. Before we left, we took some photos together with his colleagues. I never wanted to recall this stupid experience. But I was shocked to know years later that my ndad missed that "happy moments with daughter " so much and watched those photos often. I felt like a fool at that time. His colleagues might also find us weird and funny but just wanted to be polite. Only my ndad was enjoying his show of "I am such a good father" in front of everyone.

Today I told my mother everything I wanted to say granted I wish I said it calmer and more diplomatic but she has been pushing and pushing for months because I took a couple of steps away in order to give myself a chance to survive. But I still felt guilty and wanted to remain kind so or thought I set the boundaries I still texted and exchanged voice messages just not phone calls as they were giving me terrible anxiety. But that was not good enough for them. Anyway for the first time her mask dropped because I guess I never confronted her that harshly. And the curtain lifted all of the sudden everything she was saying was confirming absolutely everything I was finally getting myself validation that I wasn’t imagining things like they often accused me of. And when I told her that I am going to block them and go no contact my body started to shake uncontrollably like I was very very cold all of the sudden. But my mind was so clear and or thought my body was shaking so vigorously my mind and heart was calm. Seconds after I cut contact permanently and Blocked them my body reacted by shaking off years of quiet emotional abuse . I stopped shaking after 20 min. And felt so well and strong and clear. And zero regret in my heart. Because no matter what they will say about me I feel free. I am 45 years long and going no contact took 3 years. It’s been tough but the more I distanced the more I saw the truth. And i want to live in truth. That’s important to me. It’s crazy how much of a good daughter and sister I have been and always tried my best but it was never good enough for them. I don’t usually give advice but please if you are going through this stop stop stop giving them another minute of your life, stop hoping they will understand you stop explaining it’s absolutely not going to change anything it’s just going to eat you and your life away. And your life is precious. Better then thinking what they want about you but you stay strong proud and take back all the love and forgiveness you had for them and give it to yourself, do not give it another minute. Step out of it. Trust me you will be ok and it will feel great! listen to your heart it won’t lie to you. ❤

Thank You! Your talk helped so much.

It’s taken me years to find myself. To not feel guilt. To stop worrying what is she going to be pissed about now. Knowing that I’m worthy! That I am loved deeply.

Being scapegoated is a form of objectification.

It has been 3 years now since we got rid of the narc in laws trance. After they stole grandma inheritance.we didn’t say a word about money just moved out. Till now they chase us with the question “ did you move because of us?” We indeed moved interstate because that was the best for our family and kids, but that question let me know that narc are aware of they dirty doings but would never admit it. So no need for words, just action required.They went from rage, treats, bulling, playing victim to playing angels now since nothing else worked. It is good to be observer and watch the manipulations. Not buying an angel play now. Lack of supply and loneliness makes them scared and needy. They demand your care for them but show no care for you at all. One way road only

really great insight, thanks

My mother always said "well, your grandmother, father, doctor, pastor, etc said such and such"....

ahhhh you mentioned ab fab!! never expected an american to mention it! love your videos.

And then they change expectations so there for the rules change

How old does a kid have to be before parentification is no longer an issue? I ended up in non-child instrumental roles about 16 after my mom died. There were benefits, like having a car and its maintenance and insurance paid for, so it seemed a fair trade. I had to do the grocery shopping and meal preparation.