Dealing with Aggressive Drunks and Avoiding Confrontations - Jocko Willink

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@jockowillink @echocharles
Excerpt from JOCKOPODCAST 55

[@Compton2952]

"I cant be disrespected by someone who doesn't even respect themselves" Now those are wise words to live by folks.

[@dqreps]

U got that right bro

[@pLaIrVaIdNoGx]

Consider the source

[@goosepelican2512]

Unreal wisdom. Wish someone told me that at a young age.

[@michaeljensen4650]

No one can disrespect you unless you allow yourself to take offense. Even if you feel disrespected you don't have to act on it. The time to act is when there is a clear and credible danger.

[@domzbu]

Drunks in the road don’t have any respect to give or take away, they’ve just got crazy to give. If you get in the mud to wrestle a pig, you get dirty and the pig gets happy.

[@F00dstamp96]

"Don't argue with an idiot, he will bring you down to his level and beat you with experience"

[@simoneriksson8329]

Awesome quote :)

[@hassanjacobs7506]

Really good quote man

[@twunt2000]

Arguing with idiots is like wrestling a pig in mud, you'll both get covered in mud & the pig enjoys it.

[@jerraethomas2378]

Amazing

[@TriangleSquare52]

too bad quoting someone far smarter than you doesn't make your perception of the so called idiot true lmao...maybe just don't start something if you're a pussy like mark twain and just get on with yourself

[@brandonkapana2453]

"you already won, you have a wife and kid, you won" Jocko's mind set is on a whole other level. I could've ended the video there.

[@drewsky1008]

Absolutely

[@notmenotme614]

Congratulations you accidentally got a dependa pregnant. And have no free time or money for the next 18 years. Winner.

[@jaberwok4877]

@@notmenotme614 your an idiot

[@theodorbutters141]

@@notmenotme614 depends of shes a decent looking dependa or a lazy dependapotamus

[@AverageBrethren]

@@jaberwok4877 oh did he crush your dream of being a father ?

[@warl0rdavenger820]

Hearing a man who has been in war and can kick anyone's ass telling you to avoid trouble affirms that I have nothing to prove but much to lose by lowering myself to fight an idiot. Thank you Jocko.

[@SASMADBRUV7]

@James Yeager alpha Male you are

[@michaelmayo2489]

@James Yeager Someone like Jocko doesn't have to prove himself he's been through hell and back he doesn't have to look for a fight to prove he's a badass everyone just knows he is.

[@michelef406]

It's not that simple. Seeing a man avoiding confrontation (even when it's the smart thing to do) will trigger the brain of the woman on a subconscious level. She will, probably without even noticing, see you as a less of a man and this, on the long run and along with other mistakes in handling your relationship, can lead to the worsening of your emotional and sexual bond. One could argue that you shouldn't be in a relationship with such a woman but that's not the point. The point is that, sometimes, you have to do the stupid dangerous thing and hope for the best because there's no formula or algorithm to get this stuff right every time.

[@warl0rdavenger820]

@@michelef406 very valid points you make here. Let's note that my initial point was avoiding trouble which is very different from avoiding confrontation. What that means is you can stand your ground without having to roll in the dirt with someone who isn't worth it. That of course isn't black and white either because if you're being attacked by all means you have to defend yourself and/or family. However, the point of the female subconscious must still be addressed as it is often a factor in the fight/don't fight decision. The female "subconciously" is attracted to and will respect not necessarily the man who jumps into a brawl but more so the one who successfully and fearlessly stands his ground and preserves his territory (family, home, space). Some women may not understand the line between reserving fighting as a last resort and blatantly running away . If you fight first she may regard you as an arrogant idiot and still lose respect for you. She isn't necessarily to be blamed, it is after all how her mind is wired up. So to sum up, fighting should but can't be eternally avoided. It is an obligatory part of being a man. But specifically addressing your point, if a woman for this or any other reason loses respect for the man she is with and wishes to walk then she must. It's that simple and it's as much a part of life for a man as much as the animals he has to fend off.

[@warl0rdavenger820]

@Operation Agatha Bravo bro! You already completed the journey that many of us still have to make.

[@glx4909]

The greatest victory is the one which requires no battle. Sun Tsu

[@flashcrusade7780]

Feels great to kick their teeth in though.

[@anthonyhewitt9397]

Crazy but i consider this a skill of mine. Even with people i kno i can beat up. I actually weirdly get off by being such a cool dude that if this person tried to fight me they will loose either way. By beating up a nice guy or getting beat up after starting shit. Which has also happend and i still felt horrible for the guy afterwards and i did everything to avoid. That's a real man. I consider my future emotions after upon beating your ass into the cement. And they worth the ripped clothing or knuckle gashes

[@pward17]

@@anthonyhewitt9397 It's a treasure to have intelligence and physicality. Congratulations. Use it wisely.

[@zanelarsen5265]

Anthon Hewitt

[@martinkuliza]

LOL... it's Sun TZU or Sunzi if you prefer, but more commonly referred to as Sun Tzu

[@vidiushd9207]

When you are carrying a firearm, you simply MUST become the most peaceful, polite, and passive person alive. It's your responsibility to society to do so.

[@SI-ln6tc]

With great powers comes great responsibility.

[@andreslopera1152]

“You won.” - From a guy who made a career of staring down death and making death blink. That should settle it.

[@tripledot6758]

@@andreslopera1152 Guy who made career by defending his country. Killing rapists and shooting drunk unarmed drunk guy who won't remember anything after that night is a big difference

[@FireEater]

So true something the left doesn’t have a clue about.

[@jefftate01]

That was what I realized. Be nice, no road rage, nothing ,just go about your business.

[@ihavetubes]

Avoid fights and never underestimate anyone.

[@hibco3000]

Exactly

[@Thebonesoftrees]

Sage advice, take care.

[@alexmurphy5289]

Keep the white belt mentality

[@markheppleston1117]

Amen brother!

[@shermanchester68]

Truth.

[@MacLethal]

My man, you went back to find him? He forgot about you 20 seconds after you drove off, but you couldn't let it go? LET IT GO.

[@akashpun8201]

Crt

[@magnemmar4869]

Completely foolish to go back. "Son, don't go looking for trouble, but I TOTALLY went looking for trouble because of my super fragile ego to prove that I'm a man." The lesson here is, "Son, don't go looking for trouble. Call the police and let them deal with it. Yes. I'm a cop, but I'm not on duty and my family is with me, hence... Call the police."

[@zach3318]

It’s hard though, I understand how it is. Took me a long time to learn that strangers don’t matter.

[@liamisaac2428]

Mac in Jockos comments!! Small beautiful world!

[@iamnotawafflewaffle6622]

Bruh I swear I find your comments on the most random of videos its awesome

[@The-Travel-Man]

One of the best videos by Jocko. Every time my martial arts instructor ends my class are with these words: “Refrain from violent behavior, Seek perfection of character.” Some may think it is for weak minded but it is not. Strength needs no validation.

[@Kilo_of_Milk]

@@ThatGuy-sc5rx well put

[@waaagh3203]

@@ThatGuy-sc5rx I want strength AND power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@waaagh3203]

@Justice9111 I think it depends on where it comes from. It certainly CAN be weakness and cowardice, but also can be what you said.

[@waaagh3203]

@Justice9111 I didn't know that. Very informative. Thanks for expanding my knowledge, sincerely.

[@amospizzey1]

Shotokan Dojo kun 🥋🙏🏻

[@bdpyne]

Jocko said something about 99% of the time, trouble avoids you. So true. I workout, spend time with my family, work, and play drums in a band. I’m 54 now and haven’t had a confrontation like they talked about for 30 years. I live, work, and spend a lot of time in cities. I’m not a tough guy. I’ve gotten better at recognizing the situations I don’t want to be in.

[@elisabethstabel2082]

Your lucky, im a women trying to avoid problems but I got attacked, raped, molested on the street. Don't be to proud, life is rough and unpredictable and sometimes good people have bad luck. That's life.

[@watchman56able]

I used to get in alot of fights. When I won I felt like a bully. And when I lost I felt like a loser. It is really a no win situation on top of the good points Jocko makes.

[@123G-r4d]

watchman56able yeah thats so true. i remember so.eone said something to me once and because i was with my gf i grabbed him and started slapping him and afterwards i felt like a bully. but if i ignored it i wouldve felt like a punk. its a tough choice

[@stub4488]

Not including the injuries! So true!

[@Nenad-ICXC-Shuput-GFAMMA]

Dude I felt the same way lol

[@jj-wp6wc]

Insightful words. Thank you for your honesty.

[@FR-ty5vn]

watchman56able shouldn’t feel like a bully if it was self-defense

[@MatthewSmith-cp3hu]

You cannot be disrespected by someone who has no respect for themselves. That is solid gold, I just gained some strength.

[@huntermushero9362]

This was a very wise statement. It’s something I plan to hold on to forever.

[@kellyemontana62]

Solid advice. As a long, long time dive bartender, these questions were nuts to me coming from a police officer. Always de-escalate. Never even let addicts rent space in your mind. You are dominant in responding with reserve.

[@ep7077]

Sadly this cop is probably an "ok" dude, but this is the kind of cop with the small man complex "..you looking at me? You talking to me? You talking to me...??" Lots of men have this problem.

[@thenoodleking]

Can't be a cop. Otherwise he'd have known that going back out to look for the guy is premeditated and no longer matter of "not going out to look for trouble but always standing up for yourself".

[@ep7077]

Of course he can be a cop and probably is. I appreciate and respect the job the police do. I know its not easy. However, if you think that ALL cops are good people, I have some ocean front property in Oklahoma to sell you. Being a cop means he knows what to say and what not to say and when his cop buddies arrive he'll play it just like a self defense "..Yep, sadly I saw I had zero other options, I saw it was me or him, so I (most likely shot and killed him) and I'm safe"

[@corm1000]

The greatest strength gains I've ever had, have been the result of people pissing me off, and then me going to the gym and blowing out that frustration in the gym. Those workouts you do after those incidents are usually the best workouts you'll ever have.

[@ep7077]

100% as a kid my family moved and suddenly I was the salt in the pepper shaker - the bullying started almost immediately. It was tough for a pre-teen kid and I noticed the few other kids like me (a few other whites, 2 natives and 1 Mexican kid) were either " bad asses" or had become reclusive and scared out of necessity. Anyways, long story short I def fought back a few times, but by the time I turned 13 I started wrestling, lifting and after wresting season I would go learn to box. I just turned everything inward and every insult and shove I got went into the heavy bag, my opponent or the weights. It was a long , slow burning, self sustaining hate that drove me....one that eventually would turn me into something the group of bullies were afraid to approach and later in life it helped to mold me in schools, careers and so forth.

[@bplup6419]

"They think I can beat up anyone in the world." I also believe that.

[@anthonyflores7697]

Hahaha

[@718misfit]

Same

[@jakenicholaides3214]

He made that point that hid kids think that he knows better. Being confident is not the same as arrogance I think if you watch his vids he would expect you to know that

[@tmass1]

a 230 pound blackbelt in jiu jitsu is no joke

[@JK-vc7ie]

It's kind of funny because you're the only one who thinks that about you.

[@zeroman155]

Moral of the story is: Unless they physically assault you, just walk away. A fight can result in a hospital visit, jail time, expensive court/lawyer fees, or death. Swallow your pride and walk away. Great video Jocko!

[@abefroman8202]

As a retired officer of 30 years experience, Jocko’s words are pure sense. Avoid confrontation, if you can.

[@tomski7726]

Everyone we meet is engaged in a War we know nothing about. Engage them with compassion, that curious mix of hope, love and understanding. Miracles will happen. Great stuff Jocko.

[@mauricelangley5033]

Did he say that on this podcast & I missed it?

[@tomski7726]

Maurice Langley You didn’t miss it. That podcast reminded me of the approach I try every day to practice.

[@mauricelangley5033]

@@tomski7726 Right on. Same here. I try to remind myself that I don't know what the other person is going through. Cut em some slack.

[@Riskmangler]

True. But be prepared nonetheless..

[@ang47]

@@tomski7726 Not really. Some people are engaged in a war. Others are just lost, aimless pieces of shit with no direction at all, and no clue what they are doing.

[@Matthias53787]

"A person’s insight gives him patience, and it is honorable to overlook an offense." - Proverbs 19:11

[@lindamon5101]

Jesus help us all.

[@andrewchilvers4304]

The first rule of self defence should be dont put yourself at risk. Second, intelligently defend yourself at all times. If that means running away, run away.

[@hibco3000]

Exactly

[@FR-ty5vn]

I’ve both run & cooperated at gunpoint.

[@caldylangoss2287]

@@FR-ty5vn I have usually felt better after running or cooperating at gunpoint, than fighting...now that you mention it.

[@jacquesstrapp3219]

It's not running away, it's a tactical retreat.

[@FATMIKED5183]

When I took Taekwando as a kid,our instructor taught us to avoid fights at all costs,and that what we learn is for defense only,only if there is no other option.He also taught us to have respect,integrity etc.Learning to fight was really a small part of it.

[@ManlyPelican]

I love the fact that Jocko always tries to avoid violence and confrontation every step but also knows if theres no other option he has the tool to deal with it, Thats a role model right there.

[@JoeMac1983]

What worries me is that there is a cop out there who even has this internal dilemma. Call it in, get your family home. Return to assist your fellow police officers if need be. Going at it solo to prove a point to your pride is not a good trait for a police officer to have. I seriously hope this officer takes this talk to heart.

[@jderpz23]

Joe Mac it wasn’t for his pride, he wanted to teach something to his son.

[@frontdeskstaff9359]

@@jderpz23 Bullshit. He went back looking for the guy after he took his son home. Insecure egomaniac with something to prove. This guy is a danger to society.

[@Kevinschart]

@@jderpz23 he's going to teach his son a lesson by confronting a drunk idiot? this cop will murder someone one day.

[@ang47]

@@frontdeskstaff9359 He wanted revenge. Nothing wrong with that, although in this situation it's kinda pointless.

[@ang47]

@@frontdeskstaff9359 The danger to society is actually the drunk guy. And dumb sheeple like you.

[@alexlongpre4527]

"you can NOT be disrespect by someone who doesn't have respect for themselves" Man that so matter of fact and blatantly true, and I have never though of it that way. That's just huge. Possibly one of the best piece of advice I've ever had from anyone. Thank you very much for that sir.

[@BenWeeks]

"You cannot be disrespected by someone who doesn't respect themselves." "I am respect." "I'm not going to back down from trouble, I'm going to avoid it. Trouble avoids me."

[@bititid]

I love how much love Jocko has for his family. It's really something. My dad was absent, so I can really respect a man who is a good father.

[@mugaboelijah539]

a clever man solves a problem, a wise man avoids it.

[@poeticnation6251]

Life-saving, intelligent, words. Thank you for sharing. Respect!

[@dansweeney9468]

I struggle daily with this whole respect thing. I can shrug off most anything except the blatant disrespect from some people that seems to be an epidemic now days. Hearing you say "you cannot be disrespected by someone who dosen't respect themselves" is pure pearl's! Never thought of it that way I guess, but now maybe I won't struggle with it so much, thanks a million Jocko!!

[@bdub78dub90]

That really spoke to me " how can you be disrespected by someone that doesn't even respect themselves" thank you I needed to hear that.

[@liamcosgrave5410]

"Son , what do you think will happen if this guy attacks us ? " "You will choke him " "That's right "

[@shawarmageddonit]

Entirely different level of badass.

[@Steven-rp8zo]

Good advice. A smart person avoids conflict. I had a 'tough guy' uncle with a big mouth. He died in a bar one night when he shot off his mouth to the wrong guy with a knife.

[@mauricelangley5033]

Yikes. Sorry to hear that. I grew up with a guy who was a good fighter. One night at a party he called some guys out to fight, they tried to avoid it but apparently he persisted. So they eventually went out side & opened fire. Killed him. He'd just graduated 2 months prior & had a birthday coming up in less than a month. I think about that all the time.

[@iamtheai2759]

Yep, my buddy, long time ago, had been getting into Jitsu, liked to talk about it, drunk, at a bar, loudly....got hooked, from behind, broken jaw, all fucked up.never even saw the guy.

[@deviljho4260]

Steven that reminds me of when a bully stole some classmate of mines money but the guy just let it pass and it escalated so much to the point where he just sucker punched him and the bully got knocked out and the back of his head hit the floor so hard he died. The classmate got arrested.

[@devinrivers5808]

Steven ..I couldn’t agree with you more..in this day in age it’s good to just walk away. Had a cousin, got into a fight with another guy...the dude he beat up..came back, shot him and he died, when I was a freshman in high school; I always walk away from confrontation; you’re life is more valuable

[@spaceman5089]

And I bet the guy with the knife is in prison, who cares how long, it taxed his life. No winner in that.

[@molassio1989]

In my opinion, the calmness in someone, when they confront someone with confidence, it is a lot scarier than someone raising their voice. Yelling "I'll kick your ass!" is much less scary than a stare right in the eyes, with a "I really don't want to do this today, but we can, it's up to you."

[@Duskwalker68]

"You cannot be disrespected by someone that has no respect for themselves" That really resonated with me, I've never thought of it like that but he's absolutely right.

[@JR-zw2vb]

Bam. Your awesome. I'm going to teach these to my kids. And I hear this all the time from the ROK force special ops: "Avoid street confrontation" and staff sergeants and officers never get in a fight. They get pushed around, but never fight. I have respect for them. And thanks for your service. Salute.

[@skoll_2024]

Thanks Jocko. I needed this. I was raised by an angry cop (literally his nickname “Angry”). Brought up by his brothers. Two of which were Vietnam Vets. I’ve never been in the military but childhood was a lot like boot camp from what I have seen. Haven’t been near him since I was 16. He brought me up to be a cop and to be a fighter. As he was. Never to be intimidated. The problems that has brought me……is simply stupid. I’m 46 and still struggle for hours after walking away cleanly(thanks to smart GF’s at the times). And it has come down from weeks to hours over that time to let things go. If someone had ever talked to me at 10 the way you just put this, it would’ve saved me a lot of trouble, a lot of broken bones and scars. I value all of what you’ve done. But for now, with me, this is another service to a good world. Thanks mate 👍🇦🇺

[@commonsense7057]

Carrying a firearm everyday has made me go out of my way to avoid conflict. Situations you can handle physically take on another dimension when you bring a firearm to the fight.

[@operationNOBO]

You went to look for him again? And this cop claims it is was not due to ego. Bullshit and lack of common sense.

[@beastwolf7]

Just the fact that he mentioned the word ego let's you know where his mind is

[@iphoneconpolenta541]

I totally agree with this, that guy that called, the only thing he cared was his own ego, and he was using his son to rationalize that stupid act.

[@stoneosborne9247]

Cops have egos!? NO WAY

[@boshirahmed]

The ego is a combination of insecurity. Also paranoia, the individual did feel real pain, I mean the cop felt humiliated. That said, thanks for him asking for the advice of a Navy Seal. Cops have to not take things personally when dealing with idiots, who are not a physical threat.

[@ivanjulian2532]

Agreed, no small amount of denial in the letter. But kudos to the author for wanting to improve his reaction skill set regardless.

[@nrich5127]

What becomes so clear from this interview is that on top of being a supremely capable military fighter Jocko is more intelligent than any adversary. His advice - avoidance is the best decision because the potential of a bad outcome however small is always there if you confront them. And that's called intelligence.

[@Looflobo]

I really needed this. I was recently a passenger in a car travelling down the motorway and the driver of my car indicated and pulled out into the fast lane. The person driving behind decided they didn't like this and that it was too abrupt and then felt it was necessary to get up right behind our car and flash his headlights repeatedly. I gave the guy the finger and before I knew it we were pulling up with him behind us at a set of traffic lights and being confronted by this guy who approached our car and was telling me to get out and fight him. I opened the window and called the guy out and told him exactly why I did what he did but he clearly wasn't happy with that, struggling to formulate a response and still insisting that I got out and confronted him physically. All I said to him was "I'm not going to fight you" and put the window up. Fortunately at this time the lights turned green and we pulled away leaving him behind. I went through that scenario over and over in my head thinking that I was a coward for not facing up to my actions in that moment but at the same time what good could have come from two men starting a fight at a 4 lane set of traffic lights on the motorway. This clip definitely gave me some clarity and context looking back on the scenario. I need to keep my cool in future, that is damn certain because this whole situation could have been avoided. But at the same time you need to remember that you have so much to lose by opting to fight in these situations to begin with and realistically nothing to gain besides an ego boost unless the person is imposing a serious threat against you or your family/friends. Thanks for the words Jocko.

[@Lollita23]

You definitely did the right thing! Only someone unhinged and pissed at life tries to start fights in traffic imo. I dated a guy who was a hothead behind the wheel and I eventually dumped him. It was so unattractive.

[@jakenicholaides3214]

Good advice as always. Iv found iv avoided so many fights by being confident I will win, having a family is a good reminder that even winning can cost you everything and like you said you've got a family and therefor you've already won. I think pride plus temper can sometimes make checking yourself and remi ding yourself not to invite trouble more difficult.

[@mikekimveteran]

Practical Wisdom you share. I have an 8 year old and it is tough to communicate these things as he was born shortly after my return from Iraq and his mom and I parted ways. I love him so much and have a tough time to deal with punks on the street without throwing a throat punch. Joko and Echo, thanks for this vid.

[@DanH-nk1my]

4 years later and this is still extremely relevant to situations like these. Having experience in fighting, but also physical intervention skills, conflict management and discipline goes along way! Well said.

[@TheReaper1557]

Oh yeah. This piece of advice is timeless

[@travis3754]

Jocko and his son sound like the real-life Kratos and Atreus lol

[@vetkoek9197]

"Boy, you can not be disrespected by someone who does not respect himself" - Jocko to son, Hotel of Tyr, LA.

[@Venezuelangel]

LOOOOOOOOOOOL!!! Atreus: Dad, is there a real superpower? Katros (smiles): Jiu-Jitsu, Bo0000yYYYY!

[@chartreusecircle1546]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@duftyboxing]

That's his son? Who knew.🤔

[@ij1376]

Talking to Atreus: "I'm not afraid of this guy. We're not afraid of this guy. This is no factor." F* man kid's gonna be a badass adult at this rate.

[@TheMrmoc7]

When I was a lonely medical student coming home from a dance club where me and a group of friends had agreed to meet up after one of our major exams, I remember getting into an argument with a random guy on the street and we almost came to blows. I knew being arrested for assault would've ended my career in medicine, but at the same time I'm red blooded male myself. I have never backed down from a fight even when I was outnumbered (long story), and I sure as hell wasn't going to back down that night against 1 dude. Fortunately there were no exchange of blows, but I remember asking this random Black dude on the street for advice in this situation, and I will never forget what he said to me: "People like to run their mouth, let them. As long as he don't touch you, you don't have to worry about anything." Some random drunk guy running his mouth is no concern to me. As long as he doesn't lay hands on me, my family, or my property, I couldn't care less what he says. This was an easy one.

[@ClearOutSamskaras]

I know my ignorance will be laughable or even off putting, so please be somewhat kind. Here's my question: why would an arrest for assault have been the end of your medical career? Does it get interpreted as you just having the "wrong character" or being part of the "wrong element" and therefore must be barred from the professional medical class?

[@arockclimber2]

@@ClearOutSamskarasmost state boards of medicine/nursing/etc. require disclosure of any criminal convictions. You'll then find yourself in front of the board having to explain why you should be trusted with patient's lives/access to drugs/etc. when you can't manage to stay out of street fights, not get a DUI, etc. Even if you keep your license, you can still be put on a restricted license for a while which can effect your employment. Exceptions are made but you need a pretty compelling story, plus if you have a brain you'll hire a lawyer who's used to dealing with state boards and that's not cheap.

[@ClearOutSamskaras]

@@arockclimber2 Thank you.

[@MarvinCZ]

@Randummm Jocko is a former Navy SEAL. Better believe that he got into some fights himself. He also describes the experience of his much smaller friend. Most fights are avoidable, especially in encounters like the ones described. You don't have to be huge for that, just don't be an ego-driven idiot.

[@Tsamokie]

@Randummm Full of crap? Nah, but you are immature and naïve.

[@modern.performer]

This cop did *everything* right *until* he went back to look for the guy. 🤦🏻‍♂️

[@dankdark974]

That, and letting some tweaker "rent space in his mind." Gotta have a handle on it, its a tough thing.

[@goaheadcalldonshipley7659]

Right on, and had he found him and gotten into a confrontation , he would’ve been the one in legal trouble. This officer needs a better understanding of the law, or at minimum, read some Rory Miller books.

[@bigcconservativeguy2534]

I'd be willing to bet money this guy isn't actually a cop. If he is then it's in some jerkwater shithole that sticks a uniform shirt and a badge on people and calls them "officer" but can't even be bothered to send them for any actual training.

[@glx4909]

An out-of-control drunkard in the middle of the road can be a danger to the public and to himself. Dude put his family in safety: correct. Went back to check it out: correct, too. Didn't call it in to 911? Doesn't say. Not so good.

[@modern.performer]

@WickedFrigginRyan agree, its a very strong point but if we look at the animal kingdom, it's actually a lot of intimidation and not combat at every encounter/threat. No animal ever comes back to a confrontation scene to deal with a past threat. What do you think? 🤔

[@ryanrizzajones]

Man i'm a young guy in his 20s who works out but hasn't been in many fights and the part about not being able to be disrespected by people who don't respect themselves really helps me. Sometimes I feel like I've gotta prove myself when really it's just BS. Had an older guy tell me the same thing but it really clicked hearing it now.

[@bjkarana]

Jocko and Echo are the real deal. Words to live by to be sure! I had a situation at Midway airport a few summers ago where a woman about my age (30's) started yelling at me on the jet-way after leaving the plane. To this day, I have honestly no idea what her deal was, but I just kept walking and then her husband followed me in the terminal and started talking trash. So, myself at 6'3" and 195 lbs and decently fit (a whole head taller than the other guy), did the Jocko quarter turn in anticipation of the guy taking a swing and I calmly but firmly said, "is there a problem?" I then determined exactly where I wanted to land my punch if he made a move. He never did. The guy just looked at me and repeated "yeah" a few times in a shaky voice. Then his wife comes over and they *both* start calling me a "loser", a "jackass", and that I had "no friends", which I remember wanting to laugh about, given how absurd the whole situation was. I faced them squarely and loudly told them both to "back off and do NOT follow me", and they finally walked away. For about 45 minutes after I was seething mad. I'm certainly no tough guy, and I'm quite slow to anger but once I'm mad things just go red, as I'm sure most people can relate. I wanted to go pound the guy's face in for ruining my good mood, but I never regretted being the bigger man and confidently de-escalating the situation. Ultimately I think the wife had something "off" about her; you know, the type of female who is just waiting to have an issue with something...anything, and I think her husband just had short man syndrome. All I know is that if I behaved that way towards a stranger I'd be absolutely disgusted with myself, even if it was a case of mistaken whatever.

[@bjkarana]

​@Dick Fageroni Hey Rich.

[@jonesy279]

Literally nothing manlier and more impressive than this moment: “It was summer, me and my whole family were out getting ice cream…” “Hell yeah!” That’s a couple of dudes who know what’s important and what’s worth valuing.

[@ricardorodriguez5549]

You get it

[@7Kiddo]

Solid advice as always... You are the man Jocko

[@Euromiles]

This is the best advice a man can ever teach his son. Be dangerous but in control.

[@PsychicsRfake456]

This is another reason why its a good idea to keep ones Alcohol intake to a min or none at all, so you can be 100% in control of yourself at all times incase the SHTF situations

[@Adrian101882]

Bingo. Ideally, try to also minimize if not outright avoid environments where you're prone to find drunks and all the bullshit that tends to follow that kind of behavior.

[@InAnotherLife90]

for me it was another good reason to have zero respect for cops and avoid them at all costs

[@robinpowell1185]

Yes but ones man minumum is another mans max and added effevt if he is mintaly unstable one drink can make him kookoo

[@tardogungas7236]

Or just dont be a jackbutt. Drunk or not.

[@PsychicsRfake456]

@@tardogungas7236 very true but getting drunk could make it easier to become a jerk

[@Accurize2]

I’m a police officer also (15 yr Sgt). 1:18 into the video. The correct choice is to always choose the option that has the highest chance to keep your family safe...especially your 4 yr old child. If it’s worth investigating further, get the location and description and call for an on duty unit to respond. Hurt pride due to disrespect has no business playing a role when your kid’s safety is on the line. The lesson your teaching your kid is how to put them first and be their protector no matter what. ...now time to unpause and see if Jocko agrees or not.

[@jthunderbass1]

You absolutely do not go hunting for human blood. That is a fact. I want this guy to go get help and step down from law enforcement if he is gonna go hunting for human blood because he thought he was "disrespected". Whatever that means.

[@everythingismediocre]

Wow. This is a softball question. I meet people in my world, not their world. If you let a hobo make you mad, you're in his world. If you give him some good energy (assuming he's receptive to it), he's in yours. If he won't come into your world, don't go into his.

[@ij1376]

"Don't go into their world if they won't go into yours." Geez man are you a sage? Love it.

[@ryanlxbox7]

Thanks man. Had some cunt shout at me at badminton. Should have invited him into my world

[@LitoGeorge]

Very good advice. Terrific mindset. Profound, really.

[@jrosner6123]

Ryan Lynch very well stated!

[@chester754]

I was always taught... Don't trouble trouble until trouble troubles you. Wise words.

[@ERIC196909]

I work corrections. Evil and sneaky beats muscle and training everytime.

[@I..cast..fireball]

I always have to remind people that weapons exist who think they are invincible cus they train.

[@FireEater]

Gotta admit there’s some real truth to that.

[@Richard-cr2fo]

Yes a weapon always evens the playing field

[@ianmcfee6038]

When I was a kid, my uncle (former Army hand to hand combat instructor and Houston police officer) taught me how to use my feet in a confrontation. I was confused when he backed away, gain distance and walked away. That's the first time I realized what he meant by, "prudence is the better part of valor."

[@haroonabassi1821]

I'm not gonna lie this is probably going to be some very underappreciated advice simply due to it sounding so obvious but the thing that everybody doesn't should take into factor is that when this circumstance or a circumstance similar to it happens to you personally the first instinct is for us to feel like it's time for us to play with another set of rules. It's just natural because of all of the intertwined bullshit that ultimately comprises of the human psyche like ego and everything. So this is some solid advice. Definitely is appreciated.

[@LiftRunFight]

Been in this position several times. After training and mindset practice, the goal immediately and instinctively goes from wanting to hurt someone, to being afraid that you will have to, and hoping that you dont need end up having to go through the entire legal red tape that is going through your mind in the moment as the guy stands there screaming at you. I'm thinking, "does he have a weapon?" "What happens after I put him to sleep? Gotta wait until the cops come and deal with reports, etc." "I have stuff to do, can't afford losing time to this."

[@dowth3]

I really appreciated the nuanced responses to the questions. The way I say it is: When you're ready to face the bully, you usually don't have to. Thanks for a great show.

[@ironsurvival7011]

Fight bite, my buddy got it, got in a fight punched the guy in the mouth, teeth cut open his knuckles, mouth is dirty, my buddy got an infection in his hand spread to his arm he was in the hospital for several days on IV antibiotics and was in danger of losing his hand and arm.

[@abadabamcyadadya7896]

Damn, what are the odds

[@ironsurvival7011]

Abadaba McYadadya it’s not that uncommon actually.

[@dbjmk8083]

@@abadabamcyadadya7896 thats why they wrap, cover up their hands and wear mouth guards in professionally sanctioned fighting.

[@everythingismediocre]

It happened to Neal Cassady from punching his wife. Kerouac wrote about it.

[@theimmortalsleazus8057]

@@abadabamcyadadya7896 actually its pretty high odds. The mouth is dirty and frequently a tooth cutting a hand in a fight causes nasty staph and mrsa ingections that have the potential to kill by septic shock

[@diegoc2631]

When you are carrying you have to be ULTRA responsible.

[@seabiscuit6776]

Diego C just don’t carry a gun. Guns kill people.

[@michaelhooks3644]

@@seabiscuit6776 actually, never seen a gun jump up, load itself, and point itself at someone and pull it's own trigger.....its the person, not the gun....

[@seabiscuit6776]

Michael Hooks I actually don’t believe what I wrote. I just wanted to see what it felt like to write it. I feel dirty.

[@hellishcyberdemon7112]

it seems like cops are very responsible at all .... i have to be careful with my firearm... but the cops... "Im in fear of my life of that man running away" so hes allowed to put 6 warning shots into his back and get away with it.... while if i do that... i go away for murder.... doesnt seem fair does it

[@armorsmith43]

@Leon Kudos. Self-knowledge is the foundation of extreme ownership.

[@billlindsay4646]

Never really watched this podcast before but I feel like this speaks volumes to how martial arts teaches self discipline.

[@manzelli1981]

“You cannot be disrespected by someone who has no respect for themselves.” I love this thought - it is so on point. A person drunkenly yelling in the street has already lost before he ever turns his attention to you.

[@jamesrelinski8853]

Words of wisdom from Jocko will never get old, no matter how many times or often I hear them... Jocko - EchoCharles 2020! But then again, we're not worthy.

[@joesilvasr9733]

It really concerns me that this guy is a sworn law enforcement officer. This situation could have been handled in seconds by safely maneuvering around the inebriated combatant, proceeding home with his family and calling the local authorities once it was safe to do so, ie. he and his family were no longer in ANY physical harm. The brave thing to do would have been to do his best to make sure that said individual was removed from the streets by "on-duty" authorities so that he could not potentially harm himself or others.

[@michaelmayo2489]

doesn't this seem relevant now

[@joesilvasr9733]

@@michaelmayo2489 yes😓

[@ecr-9341]

So Joe is an armchair cop now? You can vote for the other Joe soon. Sigh. Asshole...

[@herdbull5210]

each one teach one... the world needs this now. too much anger on the roads all this me me me crap. thanks JW

[@alfredonicolsonite5467]

Honestly I needed this advice. I’ve gotten in several road rage encounters where I wanted to fight and the other guy backed down. But all it takes is for him to get out with a gun or a knife and I’m finished. Jocko is a true alpha male in every sense of the word. His kids don’t even know how lucky they are.

[@LiftRunFight]

Going out to find the guy? Please. What a ego-driven move. Don't do it again.

[@grumpycat_1]

Threat was over, end of issue... Going back out to "prove a point" (to himself???) screams of both a lack of discipline at controlling "the beast" and a fragile sense of self.

[@kirilbellic3602]

He isn't going to be there anyway. What a retarded thing to focus on. All it proves is the mass amount of butthurt.

[@lordofchaosinc.261]

Yeah like Jocko says guy can transmit a disease and who's gonna feed your kids then. There's actually a coffee cup with the inscription "smile, you can't kill them all."

[@Totally_Not_The_ATF]

And this guy’s a cop...

[@cm-pr2ys]

Especially as a cop right? Maybe he added that in there to sound tougher haha.

[@tiaquino1991]

Sometimes i question myself too if im getting scared or just dont want the hassle of going through everything they said when its comes to after fighting, when i avoid trouble. But thanks to these two dudes for reminding me that its not worth it when i know i can beat a guy.

[@ep7077]

Great advice once again from Jocko - To add a bit of clarity as well, when Jocko says "go back to the gym, train more.." his intention is to get you to understand that tough guy bravado is a waste of time. This is also to say you shouldn't be lifting or training in martial arts for the tough guy label, you shouldn't even do it for the chance to show off and beat someone up...BUT you train, lift, fight etc because one day you might not have the option to walk away from it! If you can, just simply walk away...if you cannot, and a grown adult puts hands on you then you go into assassin mode like Jocko style kids ;)

[@OleVinny]

His wife begging him not to get out of the car also indicates that he's the type of guy who allows himself to get dragged into situations like this. Getting all worked up about stuff like this means that you're willing to put yourself and your family at risk for nothing but trivial nonsense by a guy who none of you know.

[@slopcrusher3482]

It also shows he has nothing to prove to anyone. If his wife was like “you gonna let him do that?”, while still stupid, I could see why he thinks he needs to fight him. In that case, really shitty of the wife, but that isn’t even the case. The wife wants him to avoid the conflict. He’s just teaching his son that a guy should get worked up when someone they don’t know nor will ever see again “disrespects” them. If someone feels so shitty about themselves and has such a fragile self image that they need to threaten someone in the street, they’re a joke of a human. They don’t even respect themselves, and like Jocko said, it’s impossible did someone with no self respect to disrespect you.

[@RikodiusRex]

Temperance. It is not an issue of weak or strong, what you should teach your son is to never charge a red cape, there is always a sword behind it. There is nothing more attractive than a man who is strong and could fight and fight well but knows when to let it go and choose the battles wisely. Women never feel safe with a man who flies off the handle at a moments notice.

[@NotCommonSense91]

This is why I watch these videos teaching the right things. Completely understand how this guy feels. But I with respect man you still have a ego people aren't always gonna respect you. That's they're choice the bigger man is the one who has the power to walk away because that's much harder then trying to prove your self to someone you don't even know.

[@MrByTheMile]

im questioning why a POLICE OFFICER went back to look for the guy. we all fall short.

[@landonic81]

Yeah that's a psycho move

[@jamesmorel1052]

Didn’t specify if he went back to beat the guy up or wether he went back to make sure he wasn’t being a danger to anyone else.

[@MrByTheMile]

@@jamesmorel1052 if you do that off duty youre unfit to be a cop. its all about choosing the safest option. calling it in is a much better choice than going home and leaving your family to go back

[@drw1926]

I'm wondering if that part even actually happened. For whatever reason it struck me as something he added to the situation.

[@Milpower]

Because like many cops, they have an issue with people not respecting their presumed authority. TOO many cops are high on themselves.

[@eternalswordzman9240]

The very live active lesson in front your son (Jocko) was and is a perfect example of how to teach balance and all the variables of potentially hostile situations that could happen as well as how many options that you may have (or not have) at your disposal to defuse the situation. Excellent.

[@ironmaiden1236541]

This police officer is a worry asking this.

[@davidhutchison7567]

As a former officer, myself that should've been the first response. Drive to a safe location, where you can keep a visual, call the department and avoid him......

[@penhdog2207]

Yeah that this guy is a trained police officer and needs advice on this obvious question from a podcast is massive worry.

[@caldylangoss2287]

I am glad he wrote in... LOL

[@Sheepdog1314]

you're a moron.

[@isaacsturgeon74]

Maybe he's alot smarter then you fools and asked the question to help YOU

[@biffdanielson2820]

People lose fathers, brothers, and sons every day to ego. It's good to hear advice like this grin tough guys.

[@JasonChapmanwoofdog]

"its only a fool, that reacts to foolishness".

[@enriquecerradamartos2893]

Always come back to these important lessons from time to time, such valuable insight

[@drewp1974]

Jocko once said, “ if there’s a guy who can beat me in a bar fight, I probably know him” 😎👍

[@maryvilaihong2527]

That's a short list... and 99% of the guys that could tap Jocko... wouldn't.

[@charleshart5563]

If ... 😁

[@drewp1974]

@@charleshart5563 Exactly 👍

[@donm2067]

The town I lived in for my teenage years had tonnes of back alleys. One night some loser got aggressive I told him he better not try, he left and came back with a close personal friend of mine. It was hilarious to watch the guy's face when he realized his backup up was a better friend of mine than his.

[@RJKYEG]

I am glad the listener wrote in and was honest about his experience and his feelings, Jocko gave him some good advice, I hope he takes it.

[@gtpk3527]

This "you won't disrespect me" attitude is at the root of so many unnecessary injuries, deaths and overal suffering. Jocko is absolutely right. You can't be disrespected by someone who doesn't respect himself. Trying to beat someone to force him to respect you is sign of weakness not strength.

[@nickmc1142]

Avoidance is always the best strategy. When I was young, I always used to avoid the kinds of places that attracted troublemakers. Some people haven't got much common sense and seem to think nothing bad will happen to them. Avoid bars that have reputations for fights and avoid groups of young men at night especially if they've been drinking. Following those two tips will help you avoid 99.9% of problems.

[@grumpycat_1]

Felony arrest/criminal record /= respect for yourself or your future. If its not worth deadly force its not worth the conflict, anything else is ego. Its feels good to fight when its worth it, or in training. But I disagree that any ego driven fight "feels good", to me it feels totally unnecessary, undisaplined and "wrong"... even if you "win". At least that was my experience 10 or so years ago when I got in my last ego driven conflict. The cops came We both got arrested, and I got to spend the night thinking about my "win" sitting on the cold floor of the local Jail. Thankfully when the judge came in the next morning I was deemed not to be the aggressor/instigator, no charges were filed and they let me out. Nothing about that experience felt good and I decided I wasn't going to trade a false sense of self for my freedom again.

[@ares8553]

Eloquent way to tell your story. Thanks for sharing.

[@juancarrasco6598]

Through six years of working Security both Armed and Unarmed and working in Customer Service with my own company, I’ve learned one thing. Never take anything personal. Avoid conflict and take the high road. More so if your children are watching and observing you. Set the example. Sometimes, you have to forgive people, they don’t know what they are doing.

[@andrewyoung9751]

I'm 10 min in and I had to comment. Best advise I've heard in a long time. I'm the father of a 6 year old boy and have thought about how I would react in a negative situation. I think Jocko lays out a win win...

[@bcb2585]

I agree completely! To get into an altercation simply to prove that you aren't afraid to fight just shows how afraid you are, because it tells the world that you are afraid of what it means for you to be seen backing down. A real man knows when to fight, and when not to... and he doesn't care what people think when he makes either choice. To fight just to prove you can fight only proves you are weak.

[@trumanhw]

"HE DIDN'T BOTHER *ME* ... JUST FELT BAD FOR MY FAMILY ETC." ...Yeah..? Then why go back there alone..?? Of course I've wanted to do that -- but going BACK to look for it is a terrible idea. ESPECIALLY as a cop. That's potential JAIL, loss of CAREER, etc. Totally unwise and SOUNDS ... _EGO_ ...

[@stefvans6492]

i was a short fuse type of guy for long time and had my share of bagage that comes with it and sinds i found master jocko wilink and jordan peterson i am a reborn man and i noticed ppl are more friendly to me as i am too them i still have this fire that burns inside me but i am in controle and the peace i have now is thx too master jocko so from the bottom of my hearth i thank you mr jocko wilink 'respect' and thx again

[@kuslerf12]

Didn't fight a crackhead that was trying to not let me in my old apartment. After I defused and the dude left another guy in the building said "good thing you didnt hit him mane, he has the sickness" he meant aids. Big reality check

[@IAMJEFFREY-cw9ns]

kuslerf12 As a teenager I never thought about those things. I just thought about scrapping and earning respect but as I grew older I realized that.

[@evernynemarions567]

So what if he did. Look up the facts before you believe that means you are somwhow going to get hiv from someone. Its very hard for the virus to spread unless there is blood and blood mix with bodily fluids because it dies within 1 min of oxygen outside the hosts blood stream. And you can go get the prep pill up to 3 days aftwr possible exppaure just like the morning after pill. According to the statistics it takes around 2000 unprotected rough sexual encounters with someone who is positive to have the likelihood of infection spread. I know these facts b3cause I learned the hardest way I could. Homosexuals and drugs together is a breeding ground and innocents nor ignorance will save the person who is foolishly uneducated nor disclosed by the carrier of their + Statis. The antiviral will bring levels to undetectable if taken everyday so that it does not ever spread to others nor turn to aids rhe whole lifetime. I am a vegan vampire. Take my eperience and advise as lifesaver.

[@kuslerf12]

@@evernynemarions567 lmao one of my closest friends has aids. If I punch him in the face, busting my hand and his lip, theres a chance I just got aids. I'm not risking catching a virus just because prep exists, sorry for being so uneducated? 🤣😥

[@user-vc5rp7nf8f]

thats good. but it's hard to get HIV even if he had open wounds. there would have to be extensive bleeding and prolonged direct contact, or sexual contact, for that to happen. i mean it's possible (like if you punched him with a wound on his face and you cut your hand), but unlikely.

[@wr5044]

"You can't disrespect me, I am respect."

[@KienDLuu]

"this is no factor". I fucken love that saying. I know it's a millitary term, but we can apply this to civilian life - just dismiss things that don't effect the desired outcome. I'm a hothead at times so this is such a valuable lesson.

[@buckshot1812yo]

Just watched this. Everything you said is true about your son. When I was in 8th grade, I had a very good friend in the 9th grade who threw a jab and a right hand in a fight after school. None of us including the kid he was fighting knew he had a tumor. My friend killed this kid with one good punch. Changes things at that age. Keep preaching shipmate. Love the channel.

[@RRRRobbbb]

Imagine being dumb enough to pick a fight with someone who even looks like Jocko Willink.

[@devinloveridge2164]

Rob lmao right 😂 I see a forehead like that I’m walking the other way

[@alexmurphy5289]

Absolutely asking for death lol, he could have his arms tied behind his back and still kill you with his chin and neck strength

[@ThejollyFrenchman]

It's an insecurity/compensation thing. I used to work at a biker bar (not a biker myself, just worked there), and jackasses would walk in there trying to pick fights with these massive, hard living bikers. This happened very frequently. They always got their asses kicked. Every. Bloody. Time. The patrons were nice enough guys, never sought out trouble, but these gym rats would come in and start trouble just to prove that they were "big men". Low self-confidence starts more fights than any other reason.

[@Barrieq]

My exact thought 😂

[@srsmedic8285]

Don’t mess with a middle aged man with cauliflower ear

[@AMANRA3]

I'm using that for my daughters about respect. 100 percent those words would have changed my life when I was younger.

[@spacemonkey6552]

"Hes not an intimidating guy, he doesnt even have coliflour ear" 😂

[@chucknorris3rdnut]

I thought that was great also.

[@ij1376]

That's the level of testosterone in this monster damn lol

[@hanschecker1]

Lowkey hilarious quote right there😂😂

[@5jerry1]

~ Cauliflower. *

[@adamb3210]

Jocko, This podcast helped me out so much, I am an Armed Guard here in San Diego, and I had a drunk guy get in my face last night calling me names, and trying to provoke a response from me (he had his wife, kid and two friends with him) and I chose not to engage with him, because he got close, but never puy his hands on me. Im glad I did not, he was clearly a fighter, and I don't know where it would have gone.

[@chavruta2000]

we all know this. but we should listen to it regularly so we don't forget it for an *instant* in case we get in a situation and we stop thinking so well.

[@mikeclark1733]

you train so you dont have to fight,"crushing"someone that isnt directly threatening immediate harm is for your own pride.

[@MrHallstar123]

You can’t be disrespected by someone who doesn’t even respect themselves. Wow

[@griffineagle7]

jocko ..you and your friends inteligence is contagious ..its good to know we have souls like you's out there ..i really respect all you do .. amazing beings and a big check from me with no factor ( .. lol .. )

[@RodrigoRamirez-eq6gj]

By walking away from the situation, what he actually taught his son was the right thing to do. That is, to be in control over a potentially lethal situation. Pick your fights, and pick them wisely.

[@Barca57fan]

We need more men like jocko. Imagine how better this world would be. Respect💯