DEALING WITH CHURCH HURT AND TRAUMA

[@nwakaegoabraham4306]

Nice topic Sir! The problem is, many people are deeply brainwashed, emotionally damaged, and manipulated by those who were supposed to be shepherds but have instead acted as wolves, neglecting the care of souls. As a result, many have become psychological prisoners, unable to heal from the trauma and pain experienced within churches, leading them to wander when they leave. This is why it's crucial for everyone to truly know Christ for themselves, so they aren't held captive by those who see themselves as masters instead of servants.

[@viboksings]

Some people's first exposure to wickedness and corruption was (in) the church. But here is healing for everyone hurt, pastors, leaders and members alike. May we all find healing in Jesus name.

[@azeeztaiwo34]

😂😂😂

[@suzzanitahslifestyle1744]

I was hurt in a church ...almost got depressed because of the church...I. Even quitted leadership because of the pain I went through...thank you MOG I really need this msg...had decided never to get myself involved in Church

[@AnalogousTv]

Please go back. God is cooking something in you

[@Tolu140]

Church hurt is real. I had 1st born outside wedlock and dang, I saw wee, the hypocrisy, not knowing pastors kid too had child outside wedlock the exact time and it was legitly consealed and never spoken about for years until Pastor child wanted to get married years later that's when we all knew Pastors child has 2- 3 kids cant remember clearly like what 😅🤣 on the other hand me I was written off😅😅, but God. He covered me and blessed me. Infact when the man that wanted to marry me approached my pastor's wife said why will someone like that want to marry me, its only child I have o I didn't kill someone. They couldn't see beyond my sin but God he promised me my sin was sin but the product - which is my child isn't a sin . Well my husband said he knew what God told him and he is certain. Today we are still married and have 3kids. They kuku still shade me that my husband is this and that and me I am the oppisite simply because you know my past, in my head you don't know me outside of church of few hours but keep judging. This year I have the courage to leave as I want to be under a leadership respects me and I can serve without side eye. Church hurt is hard esp when it comes from a church you grow in and its hard to even leave cause of great relationships. Thank you Pastor Femi

[@Loveevefoundation]

Sending you love ❤

[@YorkbethChikampa]

Was so hurt by the church that I stopped going to church. Never wanted to be near a pastor because of pain. Now am a pastor have moved on and will ever be on the right side of Christ. Am healed ❤❤🎉🎉😂😂

[@1Samuel3.16]

This is what I just need now, the more I try to forgive and heal, the more they do more, the more the hurt, the more they tend to provoke me, oh LORD help me

[@maggiegeorge6144]

😢

[@franklynwinny6692]

You can change church,but don't leave church!!! Because of how hurt I felt,I stopped attending that church. However because as Christians we have been advised to not forsake the assembly of the brethren,I have been praying and asking God to lead me to a place I will call home. A family where I can truly serve and use my gifts to His Glory.

[@vincentdordo3119]

May God strengthen you and lead you. Quicken your decision for He cometh soon

[@christopherfuson1226]

Sometimes you need to leave a congregation but not leave the church entirely Waiting to be ministered to may require a different congregation that has someone called by God to do so and not because of obligation

[@Timi1111]

God bless you sir. In fact, sometimes back I had felt like not even identifying as a Christian even though I loved God. I pray God will keep raising leaders like you, you're very balanced and wise and you'll last long. Thank you sir.

[@iniabasiessien9577]

AMEN, HE WILL DEFINITELY LAST LONG

[@PrincessEjezie]

I was there few years ago ,j was so hurt that i vowed never to be close to any pastor ,i didnt go to church for 1 year ,thank God for sending me help through another pastor God can father a man through another man.

[@lebohangtau6356]

I was once church hurt and never ever thought I'd recover one day. I thought this one would be the end of me. But God is faithful

[@ginabuku2362]

Thanks Pastor, how I was planning to live church here in Ghana because I'm so much hurt, abandoned teared apart both from my pastor and church people, never to go back to things I do in church but ty thanks for this teaching and the Holy Ghost to heal me.

[@onazifavour2546]

It will be alright.Everything will be fine don't let it affect your love for God that's the plan of the devil. It's painful but there's a grace for your pain ❤

[@simeonadebayo3850]

This message was made for me, I was at a school (school of prophet) where the story of Judas was discussed and I discovered that he sold his master bcuz of offense... And that has been a burden on me that Jesus left him since the day he was offended however he was still meeting with Jesus and probably taking orders from him but Jesus was not in him again... Long story short, I was thinking of leaving church as a result of offense until I listen to this message and for a long while tears have not rolled from my eyes till today while listening to the message. Keep blessing lives sir.

[@spokazimnyani2020]

Are you still going to church

[@GodsonIdahosa]

I've learned a lot. Apostle you're a blessing to this generation

[@Storiescove467]

Sir you are a rare gem. I pray this message gets to all who needs it

[@iniabasiessien9577]

AMEN

[@elumezevikky6466]

This is the most logical teaching i have ever watched in my life. In my adult phase of life, i am lost because i really don't see love in the church and i have stayed away from church because of this...i only listen to sermons. honestly i am not happy about this but am so confused about Christianity in this generation. the stories my parents give about how they became Christians and the family they found with church this days that is very very hard to find. human factor and doctrinal belief ( which in my opinion isn't wrong completely but i see it as someone's else's conviction/ experience they have with GOD and been forced on its congregation forgetting that GOD give everyone a different experience and there's never a one way to do things with GOD "IN MY OPINION") has almost ruined how Christianity is been practiced. As it stands, i belong no no church and i listen to any sermon that my heart askes for and preached by any pastor. Am honestly confused because i have a daughter and i don't want to force my confused state on her

[@oluwaseyifunmiefunkunle4649]

Hmm😢 This is a powerful message God bless you so much for this Apostle, I'm richly blessed.

[@lucyamuzu2814]

Thank you AFL for this insight, it’s has blessed me a lot. God bless you 🙏🏽

[@phoebeaguto12]

I have learn something here today. Thank you Pastor for allowing God to use you to pass this message

[@abiolaolatoye7269]

God bless you Pst Femi, for wholesome teachings. May your head never lack oil, and may God preserve you from falling. May you always have fresh revelation to feed the flock IJN. You're a blessing

[@iniabasiessien9577]

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@tosinakinsulu]

God bless you Sir.... I have actually been looking for a message like this for more than months now Thank God I really find healing

[@oluwamuyiwaoreoluwa757]

The devil doesn't mind absorbing punches as long as it can knock a believer out AFL, your anointing will not run dry

[@iniabasiessien9577]

AMEN

[@DocKateTV]

Very great teaching, I actually felt sad when apostle narrated the orphanage ordeal n funny enough thats the truth. The heart of man is wicked

[@ruthboateng8628]

Thank you Jesus christ and Aprostil femi am very grateful for this teaching 🙏🙏🙏🙏🇬🇭🇬🇭🇬🇭🇸🇦

[@RubyAlisaFoday]

I'm bless thank you Apostle God help your church

[@abigailboakye-appiah8843]

God bless you Sir for teaching Gods word boldly

[@EnejiakuJuliet]

Thank you so much APOSTLE FEMI LAZARUS.

[@RubyAlisaFoday]

Lord help me to Love your work again and more than ever before

[@atuhairweysamantha]

I have been at this place for a long time ...

[@iniabasiessien9577]

AMEN

[@adebayoskitchen8907]

You are truly a blessing and so different. May God continue to uphold and keep you from falling

[@iniabasiessien9577]

AMEN

[@KenesonEmpire]

I always pray that God will guide my part to your mentorship

[@iniabasiessien9577]

AMEN, ME TOO

[@theshepherdtent]

God pls have mercy on us. Thanks AFL

[@iniabasiessien9577]

MERCY IS THE KEY WORD

[@joycengwenya4957]

Thank you Pastor for this teaching 🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦, I almost got hurt I thought of this message

[@LGMI9]

What a word! Lord Jesus gelp us I had tio share this message God bless you Sir

[@igbunurogheneefemuaye9817]

Thank you so much for the balance Sir. ❤❤❤❤❤

[@ojuadetinuade339]

This was for me 🥺🥺. May God give me the strength 🙏🤍

[@ozemwogiemike8860]

Hmm, no wonder the Bible says judgment will begin from the church .God help and save us

[@kapotambilika5608]

God bless you Man of God

[@MaamaMalcom]

My heart is too deep, it's hard to let go, my brokenness is nearly making me mentally sick, I need help like nothing, anyone willing to help me, please 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@vivienakagha2948]

JESUS loves you❤ focus on HIS love.

[@iniabasiessien9577]

JESUS CAN HELP YOU, BUT IF YOU NEED HELP VIA A HUMAN VESSEL, CALL THE NUMBER LINKED TO HIS CHURCH FOR COUNSELLING

[@kindnessisrael2807]

I understand how u feel, i was there also fell sick, but when i invited Jesús into the situation, he shows me another level of love, then he fight for me, i saw his hand. Just know God is always attracted to the resisted and rejected, he loves you look upto Jesús and he will definately see you through this season.

[@christopherfuson1226]

God heals the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in Spirit. As long as others are human, we will be hurr by others. Remove yourself from others and Do seek a safer environment, but understand others will offend us and we need to understand and forgive their mistakes and pray we don't create more hurt

[@akodabusayo.h]

Thank you Apostle

[@ISAACODAUDUfoursyteOdaudu]

God bless you Sir 🙏.

[@TheSoughtAfter1]

Let's all remember that the church belongs to King Jesus Christ. There's only one kingdom that wins when either members or pastors cause disunity. May God have mercy on us all in Jesus name. More grace Sir.

[@gospelcontent115]

Amen. Thank you so much sir

[@HalleluyahTatiana]

I don't know what to say concerning this man. I'd only say that my God will bless you.

[@eduyoungpeter2114]

God bless you sir...

[@olaleyeolabanjo]

The reason why it is possible for a pastor to bleed on thee congregation is because he's not healed. So you can be a pastor and be traumatised.

[@iniabasiessien9577]

TRUE OH

[@enochchichebem3406]

Please sir/ma is there a website or link that I can be downloading Apostle Femi Lazarus messages, because there are some messages that I need to listen to over and over again for it to sink inside me. Thank you Apostle Femi Lazarus for saying YES to JESUS.. Continue to soar on eagle's wings in JESUS NAME AMENNNNN

[@iniabasiessien9577]

AMEN

[@victoriaogbonna3739]

Hurting does not move me so much. I have learnt how to absorb them. But my concern is combing Heaven and hell whether orthodox or not.

[@IvyChigalau]

Where there is no expectation there is no perfection

[@victoriaogbonna3739]

I KNW THAT SOME GATHERINGS OR CONGREGATIONS ARE NOT WORT SPENDING THIS SHORT TIME OF LIFE IN THERE IS NO TIME.

[@patienceiyakwo133]

Hhhmmnn 🤔🤔🤔🤔

[@ioabraham]

I'm in this currently, thinking of different options. Pls advice

[@ActiveCurrency]

I wish you could add a soft song in the background just as it's on ticktock. Please...

[@victoriaogbonna3739]

And when there is a wolf in sheeps clothing sitting in the high place. 'NWANNE" I WILL RUN.

[@franklynwinny6692]

Dear God😭😭😭

[@stephentojumoran718]

Great teaching, but my question is that how do we separate or differentiate gifts given given to a pastor or to GO,'S from what is given to the church

[@adedapojumoke1036]

What I do is, I send pastor's gift to his personal account while I send church's gift to church's account.

[@iniabasiessien9577]

Separating or differentiating gifts given to a pastor or General Overseer (G.O.) from what is given to the church is essential for transparency and integrity in church administration. Here are some steps that can be taken to ensure clarity: ### 1. **Clear Communication and Policies** - **Define Policies**: Establish clear policies within the church that outline the difference between personal gifts given to church leaders (like a pastor or G.O.) and those given to the church as an institution. These policies should be communicated to the congregation. - **Announce Intentions**: Encourage members to clearly specify the intent of their gifts when giving. For example, if someone wants to give a gift to the pastor personally, they should indicate this, and if the gift is for the church, it should be noted accordingly. ### 2. **Record-Keeping and Documentation** - **Separate Accounts**: Maintain separate accounts for personal gifts and church donations. Personal gifts to the pastor should be recorded in a way that distinguishes them from church funds. - **Receipt and Acknowledgment**: Issue receipts or acknowledgments that clearly state whether the gift is for the church or a personal gift to the pastor or G.O. This helps in maintaining transparency and accountability. ### 3. **Transparency and Reporting** - **Regular Reporting**: Include reports on gifts and donations in regular financial reports to the church. Transparency in how funds and gifts are handled fosters trust within the congregation. - **Public Acknowledgment**: When appropriate, publicly acknowledge gifts, specifying whether they were given to the church or personally to the pastor. This can prevent misunderstandings and ensure clarity. ### 4. **Ethical Considerations** - **Avoid Conflict of Interest**: Church leaders should avoid situations where personal gifts might influence their decisions or create a conflict of interest. It's important for the leadership to maintain ethical boundaries. - **Voluntary Gifts**: Personal gifts should always be voluntary and not solicited. The leadership should be careful not to give the impression that personal gifts are expected or required. ### 5. **Use of Church Gifts** - **Church Donations for Church Use**: Gifts given to the church should be used solely for church-related activities, programs, or infrastructure. They should not be diverted for personal use by the pastor or G.O. - **Board or Committee Oversight**: A church board or finance committee should oversee the use of church funds and gifts to ensure they are allocated appropriately and transparently. ### 6. **Personal Gifts: Tax and Legal Considerations** - **Tax Implications**: Be aware of the tax implications of personal gifts. In some jurisdictions, large personal gifts may need to be reported as taxable income, while donations to the church may qualify as tax-deductible. - **Legal Compliance**: Ensure that all gifts, whether personal or for the church, comply with local laws and regulations, including those related to charitable giving and taxation. ### 7. **Educating the Congregation** - **Teaching on Giving**: Provide teaching or guidance on the importance of giving, the different types of giving (tithes, offerings, personal gifts), and how each is handled. This helps the congregation understand the distinctions and make informed decisions. - **Encourage Questions**: Foster an environment where members feel comfortable asking questions about how their gifts are handled. This openness can help prevent misunderstandings and build trust. By implementing these practices, the church can maintain integrity in handling gifts and donations, ensuring that both the church’s resources and the pastor's personal gifts are managed appropriately and transparently.

[@ENTREPRENEURE-I]

How does a pastor who has made a mistake restore himself in that same congregation.

[@iniabasiessien9577]

Restoring oneself to the congregation after a mistake as a pastor involves a thoughtful and sincere process. Church hurt can be deep, so it’s important to approach the situation with humility, accountability, and a genuine desire for reconciliation. Here are steps that can help: 1. **Acknowledge the Mistake**: The first step is to openly acknowledge the mistake without making excuses. This demonstrates humility and a willingness to take responsibility. It's important to clearly communicate the nature of the mistake and the impact it has had on the congregation. 2. **Seek Forgiveness**: Publicly and privately seek forgiveness from those affected. This can be done through a sincere apology, expressing regret for any harm caused, and asking for the congregation’s grace and understanding. 3. **Repent and Make Amends**: True repentance involves a commitment to change and avoid repeating the mistake. This may also include making amends where possible-whether it's restoring relationships, addressing any wrongs, or making restitution if necessary. 4. **Be Transparent and Open**: Transparency about the process of restoration is crucial. Let the congregation know the steps being taken to address the mistake, including any counseling, mentorship, or accountability measures in place. 5. **Engage in Personal and Spiritual Growth**: This may involve seeking guidance from a mentor, spiritual director, or counselor. Focusing on personal growth and deepening one’s spiritual life demonstrates a commitment to learning from the mistake. 6. **Involve Church Leadership**: Restoration should involve the oversight of other church leaders or elders. They can provide accountability, guidance, and support throughout the process. This also reassures the congregation that the process is being handled responsibly. 7. **Communicate Clearly and Often**: Regular communication with the congregation about progress in the restoration process can help rebuild trust. Be open about the steps being taken and invite feedback or concerns. 8. **Focus on Serving**: Continue to serve the congregation with love, humility, and dedication. Demonstrating a servant’s heart can go a long way in restoring trust and showing that the mistake does not define the pastor’s ministry. 9. **Allow Time for Healing**: Understand that healing takes time, both for the pastor and the congregation. Be patient and allow space for people to process their feelings. 10. **Trust God’s Grace**: Ultimately, restoration is not just about actions but about God’s grace. Trust in God’s ability to heal and restore both the pastor and the congregation, and be open to the Holy Spirit’s leading throughout the process. The journey to restoration is often challenging, but with genuine repentance, humility, and a commitment to growth, a pastor can regain the trust and confidence of the congregation.

[@FeliciaMarie727]

You can't go by what you feel walking with God. You have to drown yourself in scriptures. I will not allow the enemy to creep in and change my channel no matter how wronged I'm done. He causes division in certain seasons.

[@ActiveCurrency]

I wish you could add a soft song in the background just as it's on ticktock. Please...