Church Hurt & Forgiveness | In The Room

Welcome to “In The Room,” an after show conversation with our team to discuss key takeaways from #TheSameRoom episodes & pivotal life lessons in our faith walk.
Catch this weeks episode, as our team discusses key takeaways from April Daniels Episode.
Watch April Daniels Episode:
April Daniels Talks Grief, Living with Loss, Unmovable Faith & Resilience
• April Daniels Talks Gr...
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[@simplifiedwithmmathapelo1548]

"I wouldn't change anything about what I've been through because I would have to change who I became". Very powerful😥😥😥😥

[@KingsdaughterCaroline]

Church hurt has hardened my heart badly that there were days I thought back and said, I wasn't like this... I became sensitive to even visiting churches etc... it surely slipped my mind that a church is a place full of imperfect people serving a perfect God! And that God can meet me anywhere... I learned alot, and as I watched this I really felt heaviness and a layer being removed , mixed emotions... It's all about building a solid relationship with God...

[@Itscaitlinmarie]

Praying for you! I’m rooting for you! We got this! ♥️

[@stealekhai]

Praying for you, I too experienced church heart. One day I heard a word that changed my life, and then God led me to the ministry I’m at. There is power in hearing the voice of God, spoken through His people. I pray you too will be led back to the ministry He chooses for you.

[@KingsdaughterCaroline]

@@Itscaitlinmarie thank you😥❤

[@KingsdaughterCaroline]

@@stealekhai Amen🙏❤

[@petuniamedupe3004]

Ii

[@weflourish2001]

My Parents introduced me to church as a place to meet Jesus and going to the Pastor for counseling (yes, I got my share of bad advice from doing that) I was really dependent on that church connection, the approvals from church, fitting in, I served, cleaned, and worked in the church most of my teen years often taking more than I could handle and am glad I was able to serve my community. But I decide to do things different with my children, am introduce my children to GOD not church, the holy spirit as a person, not as a spirit invoked by pastors, deliverance by praying in our own home. Reading the bible and digging for directions by ourselves not just watching sermons, healing by laying your hands on yourself and anointing yourself. yes, we followship in our community church sometimes but we mostly followship and worship in our home.

[@faithfullylala4858]

I love this🙌❤

[@gd15587]

Beautiful ❤

[@camillebineyard3926]

I totally agree. We have very similar experience. I didn't see great examples in the church so my perspective of the church was different. I fully understood it was about my relationship with God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. We live in a broken world with broken people. So when it was time for me to build a Kingdom family, it was definitely going to look different. We also have Bible studies at home and pray at home but, when it comes to going to church, it is a choice. Because of the approach is different and the example at home. I feel our children are always excited to go! BUT there are days when they want to stay home and that's okay.

[@timbawangu3038]

Congratulations Stephanie on your engagement 💕

[@mel_bella8555]

Church hurt is real. And I think sometimes it’s our expectations of what we believe is church. “Church is the hospital for the sick,” but you’ve to experience Christ for yourself to understand that statement. I’ve experienced church hurt in relationships, ppl who u never thought will treat another person badly. The fear of God is real and most Christians do not have that.

[@nancyrobinson9312]

This was soooo good. More of these conversations are needed. Although I have forgiven those who hurt me in the church, I am still in recovery. God is my Healer. This is coming “to pass.” Bless His holy name.

[@gospelofthekingdom2379]

Our God is a God who heals, restores. because He does not want us to park our lives at the highway of life. we choose to forgive because when we do so, we look like our Heavenly Father and Christ Jesus who said on that cross " Father forgive them for they know not what they do." kzbin.info/www/bejne/jnu9cqZnn8lnnrc

[@harrietoboge6529]

Congratulations on your engagement Stephanie, happy for you❤💃

[@dawncharleston]

This is such a sensitive subject for me. My greatest church hurt started AFTER I accepted my calling to ministry. The pandemic helped me to come into healing and freedom. I'll admit that I have gotten anxious (almost in a panic attack) before the times I've physically had to go into the church "building" since then; because I associated hurt and hypocrisy with physical church...not the spiritual church. I've had a truly go before God and ask Him to heal that place for me, and have had to learn to pray for the brokenness in the people who hurt me. AND...pray for others who have been hurt within the church. Thanks for this segment.

[@Victorious_909]

Church hurt! Ive been in that situation where I thought I was a friend.. But it was still the old me.. The people pleasing.. The chasing.. Of approval or validation.. And I knew it wasn't just them.. It was me.. I was not healed completely of my past and also for them.. They were also going through something that wasnt allowing them to be who Christ called them to be.. We both were wrong.. I chose forgiveness over it all! I rather be a fool for God than be a fool for a princes.. Psalms 118:8-9 I want God to renew me every single day so when I do approach my church fam.. It's always Godly counsel.. It'll always be what God has meant for me.. And what he has for them.. We are all one.. We are the church.. I love when my pastor says.. "Jesus says come as you are but don't stay there" amen 🙏

[@shaneciapollack1189]

Don't put expectations or trust in man 💯 but there is a God who doesn't change 🙏

[@keiarapayne3206]

When baby talked about that church hurt I busted out in tears. Often times people see the greatness in you the powerful anointing and get intimidated not knowing what God has for you is for you! Treasures inside of earthly vessels my God talk about it and set folk free

[@nduh2232]

God🥺the love I have for Stephanie is too deep

[@HisDwelling]

“No one would hurt you from a place of wholeness”

[@cynpam4543]

" Before people are Christians, they are human beings " said a friend. So much truth in this. You have to keep your eyes on God !

[@mercybadoe3086]

Loving this episode!!! Going through church hurt recovery right now and I still have PTSD. Thank you!!!

[@Itscaitlinmarie]

Praying for you, Mercy! Stay with God. He will heal you! ♥️

[@zanguiza]

Church hate is real. I left because I was being attacked by people I barely knew. Despite that I feel closer to Jesus now. It is all about God no matter what anyone else thinkS!

[@tiarasiobhon]

Wow…. You ladies literally read my whole 2019..2020…&the big one 2021😖🤯😱 God met me at my lowest. The conversation was beautiful and encouraged me to keep forgiving and have compassion ❤️

[@britneydampies5605]

This is a word for my soul. I have experienced a lot of rejection from every aspect of my life! I mean every aspect of my life; from my job, family, friends and relationships. I didn't expect to experience it from the church as well. There is this underlying jealousy from the church that no one speaks of. We are so hesitant to praise and worship and get to God that we fail to show compassion, love and understanding to our fellow bothers and sisters. This does not take away from what I know God to be and have experienced God to be. I know God loves me and His grace is sufficient for me. I just want us as the church to not miss the people in the church and be so focused on everything else. We come to church to rest and be at peace. I will say this, that I am incredible thankful to God for my pastor. He has shown me the compassion of our Lord Jesus Christ when I needed it most. It is such a blessing when you have a pastor that is connected to the spirit of God and when speaking to the church you hear directly from God, on what your desires and experiences are. I thank God for always meeting me where I am, in all my joys, failures and brokenness.

[@doseofdionne3635]

This session was sooo good ❤ I hope you guys will continue because it’s edifying ❤

[@annatanui5704]

I relate to all of you. If you want to overcome church hurt, ask the HolySpirit to align you with good friends, since He sees everybody's heart and don't care about anybody else

[@kimmie15]

Church hurt is a real struggle. The place which represents your healing center can also be the place you get hurt.

[@Zoekindalife]

You know I can really relate to this. In the sense the betrayal you feel from people in church but more that they are your friends in fact the only friends you really have. I’ve seen really nothing matters more than Jesus. But I’m definitely trying to heal more and praying that my heart won’t be burdened anymore. I think the only annoying thing that sucks is that people can’t take genuine responsibility for their own actions and cannot say sorry. But I understand now its peoples brokenness and I know for myself I wanna be someone who can say sorry.

[@Zoekindalife]

Honestly, I keep coming back here when I’m frustrated at people tbh. This episode has really helped me along the way

[@Zoekindalife]

Again I keep coming back to this video because faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God. Romans 10:17 and I believe that. I’ve definitely healed more than when I first watched this and when I first commented. I thank God for you guys and my sister for showing me this video (even though I was too stubborn to watch it at first).

[@Zoekindalife]

I’m back again 😅 I absolutely love this message. I sent this to my friend recently and honestly it’s blessed me and her. I’m just working on pulling down my walls because I should allow people access to my heart. But I’m not putting my trust in man or have an expectation but put my trust in God. ❤ I love God so much! 🥹

[@trecemiddleton]

I'm late but this is amazing. My pain from church was so deep but my desire today is to be what I didn't get in the church

[@monicawashington4802]

I have been there, too! Church hurt is the worst, but God! Thank you Father for your unfailing love.

[@CherriLove77]

Kaitlyn thank you so much for sharing your story. I never really comment on videos but I have to comment on this one. I felt like you were telling my story and it gives me hope in knowing that I am not alone and it will get better. I pray that God will show himself to me the way he did to you because I struggle but I still have hope. You are brave for sharing your story and it has tremendously helped me because the same exact thing happens to me wherever I go. God bless you and keep being special!

[@Itscaitlinmarie]

You have blessed me! Thank you for this! God bless you!

[@CherriLove77]

@@Itscaitlinmarie You have no idea how much you've blessed me and how similar our stories are. Thank you for your vulnerability and sharing! It helps more than you know! God bless you and may He continue to guide you even in the trials! ❤️

[@Itscaitlinmarie]

@@CherriLove77 ♥️♥️♥️

[@Indigowaters]

It sounds like I had a similar situation to Caitlin. I was in church almost seven days a week. Worked there, served there and worshiped there and the worst encounters I had in relationships was there. I had people who tried (and succeeded for a long time) to talk me out of my dreams. I had men disguise themselves as church dudes just to leave me because I stood firm on my faith and I even believe spread rumors about me because they didn't want to see me with someone else. I was judged by women who I finally figured out were jealous who had more than me and I couldn't understand why. Married women telling you what to do and judging you for talking to guys and getting to know them when they've done worse before they got saved. I'm still forgiving people from more than a decade ago.

[@Itscaitlinmarie]

I know this EXACT feeling.Praying we both continue to forgive!

[@audreym.f9077]

I totally understand where you’re coming from.

[@regolani5517]

Jesus loves you he died on the cross for your sins. All you have to do is believe in him and you will be saved. ❤

[@Kayreid5230]

I thank god for you speaking about what you you've been through i was all over the place looking for the church and all disappoint me I've now decided to just stay at home and focus on him.

[@generationalcursebreaker5397]

I’ve always experienced church hurt since I was 13. Bullied and used in church as an adult. Secret jealousy, feeling unheard, no genuine friendships, mocked cause of how I talked, being blew away when I had a complaint. I’m tired

[@lisadixon2403]

Thank you for sharing this. I feel this made my head say I can go on and to be strong enough to minister again. Church hurt me so bad.

[@cheritahoustin9054]

Church hurt... hurts the deepest because we let down our guards and expect people in church to be better than those in the world. Basically putting church people on a pedestal to a certain extent because they should know better. Even though, yes the church is a hospital and everyone goes for something, we look at people in the church with a different lens. There is just something about church hurt that cuts the deepest everytime.

[@ReeRee_Donita]

Goodness I’ve been looking for something on this topic. In my case, my issue was with a faction of the church, which was my campus Bible study group- not necessarily the church itself. However, they did profess to represent the body of Christ, so I guess I can still call it “church hurt”. I was tired of the pain that I was holding onto + the pain I was facing at the time (whilst I was still in the world) so I fled from the pain and went to the “church” to seek refuge for my pain and 12 years of complex emotional baggage and a badly wounded inner child. Then I find out, that the very thing that I thought would be my safe place, would be the same thing that would double the pain I was already feeling due to two toxic people in the organisation’s committee, both wronged me. Intentionally. I left and was so angry because 1) I felt like there was no difference between the church and the world at this point, and 2) I was also angry at God because I couldn’t understand how he could allow the body of Christ to degenerate to such devilish levels. I didn’t want to have anything to do with the church after that. Kept politely declining invitations to church. Then I backslid, and didn’t have a hunger for the things of Christ anymore. This was obviously before I realised that I had to seek refuge in God as I was still at my spiritual infancy. My journey with Christ today has been revived.

[@jenaleethomas6182]

❤ The same grace we received is the same grace the person (s) hurting you need from you.

[@ulricka2131]

Caitlin is so beautiful and so gentle🤗💝. Thank you for this conversation🙏🏾 I can tell Stephanie is in 🥰, so happy for her

[@HijaDeDios0708]

Oh!!! Thank you so much for this conversation!!!! I had a few ‘Aha’ moments!!! Wow! God is so real and he hears the very troubled feelings in our hearts!!! God bless!!! 💯💞

[@Simplysimi_x]

10:46 - yes. I feel and understand, finding the right church home is key.

[@sanyusarah-mv5jj]

Church hurt is real for sure 🥺some people can Judge others negatively without knowing what other people go through 😢

[@thatolekitla5488]

Literally had me in tears the first few minutes in especially when Caitlin spoke. Such an eye opening beautiful conversation ❤️

[@noble604]

What a beautiful discussion. I was greatly blessed by hearing each of the ladies’ thoughts and would love to hear more from each of you. This was really really good. I thank you all for sharing. Blessings to you

[@caroldharris]

Church hurt Christian businesses hurt is hard yes it is his grace is sufficient and Iin my weakness every time it bubbles up even with listening to this program I have to choose to forgive saints it’s not easy I still have to choose to forgive so I can be forgiven!

[@tiffanylopez9284]

Yes....that church hurt is real, but I love the vulnerability and the truth that u guys brought it out...thank u

[@elizabethbelizaire6523]

I thank God Almighty for you 3!! The deliverance and download i just to from this is mind blowing! Thank yall !!

[@happysmileylips]

I love how she says allowing others to have grace and room to process! That's what I need!

[@herdivineconversations]

Church hurt is really. but, all in all our Father in heaven is awesome

[@supanorvaimeh4199]

I so love these😭😭🥰🥰

[@parisnichols4404]

This was an amazing discussion and so relevant for me. I feel empowered because I learned more and I can help others to know that just because you experienced what we call “church hurt” does not mean you step away from your faith. Heal , Pray , Forgive , Love…. and in some cases move on but stay in the FAITH!!! I was hurt & bitter in 2019 , but God! I have no regrets because I did not allow other people’s brokenness to steer me away from God. He was calling me to know him better and not put man on a pedestal. I pushed forward and joined a ministry that helped me to began healing and I am walking in complete joy but just know the journey continues…

[@kenamasunsmith3976]

Trust in the Lord!!!

[@jacquiwestbrook1561]

Soooo sooo good,an excellent and necessary conversation!! Thank you! We need all of what you've experienced and have overcome with God at the helm! Much Love and prayer for this platform! 💯💖🙏🏽

[@tyjirahaliayah503]

Every episode I watch I’m in tears 😢❤

[@jojo_powers3147]

I’m a new Christian and I’m dealing with a bit of church hurt

[@KatherinePion]

I can relate to the church hurt thing. And I can say I thank God that I didn't rely on my church family to show me God and how He accepts me in His family. We can't afford to depend on any mediator other than Jesus to understand our identity in God. As children! As His bride!

[@agnesonuh8278]

God bless you guys

[@Glorymore]

congratulations our dear stephanie. we love you

[@oneof7billion627]

Thank you Daddy 🤗

[@generationalcursebreaker5397]

Great video!!! Thank you ladies

[@queenestherc-squared802]

On point 💥

[@nanjavledder1509]

Uhhhhh so right girl!!!! (that pray thing... )

[@sheillaainembabazi8210]

He is indeed a God of love ❤☺☺ Thank you so much ☺

[@mirabelekezie]

This is amazing 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌people should hear this

[@BokuaAdwoa]

I am thankful to God for this message...couldn't get over an incident until listened to this

[@mantsimanesebokolodi1762]

Congrats on your engagement Ps. Stephanie

[@christibellamy7033]

TY u all so much..always nice to see you're not the only one! I was a 37 widow tried to start over too soon....publicly embarrassed by Pastor....ladies at the church etc. It sent me n 2 PTSD...I had a strong church foundation before that but it wasn't until "these deaths" where I feel/felt like I found God and in the midst he had the nerve to call me😜🥰🥰🥰🥰.....God saved my life MORE THAN ONCE....God bless you all. Is Stephanie engaged....hey hey hey .....want he do it?! I'm being silly but recovery is possible... God teaches us I never meant for them to help u b/c f so then u would have made them your God so he jxt needed to collide w/ us n life so for wherever he takes us no one gets the credit but him ☺️.....still jxt visiting churches but ik he will give me and my kid a church fam timely....she will be 18 soon and I harbored such guilt for that but God taught me u b the church u teach her....I've done my best in the last 4.5 years....TGBTG we're still making it!

[@gracengongo4585]

thank you so much for this message i feel like i wanted to hear this tonight.i"m going through the same pain because of church people.

[@MarthaRivera3]

❤❤❤

[@gospelofthekingdom2379]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/jnu9cqZnn8lnnrc

[@TheFisayo]

This episode hit all sides for me. It hit my heart. Thank you all for being vulnerable and for letting God use you. ❤️❤️❤️

[@InspiringYouWithAnna]

This is good!🙌🏾

[@ckks0nyoutube]

I learnt that I can trust God to cover me so that am not afraid to make connections with people because am self protecting! Am going to replay, so many gems

[@inongemoilwa8864]

i needed this! every single word. thank you and god bless all of you. 🙏🏽

[@joliadore4121]

Thank you Jesus! And Thank you Women of God for this discussion!! I needed to hear this right now. And I feel like more women experience church hurt than men. But hey God has a plan.

[@nokwandaxaba8282]

I am blessed, God bless you more ladies 🙏

[@patmc8352]

Powerful! This was needed. God is the Healer. Been there

[@adeolakumapayi6218]

I have been blessed. Thank you Ladies

[@BigVoicesmallworld1234....]

Beautiful conversation ladies!! God bless yous x

[@its.lesliethompson]

This was deep...I needed this🙌🏼🙌🏼

[@elamejabea2137]

Thank you girls ❤️

[@thegoodnewdays1191]

This was great. Very relatable.

[@GarneredBeauty]

Y’all were preaching today!! Lord knows me and my family have experienced church hurt. It was painful but I got over it. And I wonder if those people who caused us hurt, knew we were strong enough to withstand that. Love this topic, ladies!

[@CynthiaIloegbunam]

This is so good! Amen♥️🙏🏿

[@mel_bella8555]

I love this, so much wisdom.

[@gracefullyauthored]

speechless!!! 😭😭 so timely!!! What i needed to hear

[@britanica1298]

This blessed my whole ❤️

[@agneskattah3299]

Love this so much. God blessssssss you abundantly for doing this

[@violetturner1882]

Love this discussion. Thank you

[@patiencehadebe1140]

Thank you for this sermon . What if you are the one causing hurt to someone and you want to reach out and they dont want to hear anything. How does one move on

[@sallyjones611]

You pray and ask God to create a situation whereby you are able to communicate. Most importantly though you need to change and let that change be seen. You words and actions have to align. Also pray for healing for the other person. Pray for a heart of forgiveness for both of you. The other person is hurt wounded and confused and that is a lot for them so rather than wanting to talk to them pray for them. 🙏🏾♥️

[@divinechabata1640]

Church hurt and forgiveness. It’s not something talked about but thank you for sharing ❤️🙏🏾. The church is a place of broken people not perfect people

[@ysel5549]

Been waiting for episode like this 😍🙏🎉

[@kehindealonge5446]

First to comment celebration 🍾

[@supanorvaimeh4199]

Shout out to brenda and caitlin

[@MarthaRivera3]

So good❤❤❤

[@margarita8504]

Boy did I need to hear this. HELPED me SO MUCH. Thank you ladies.

[@glorial2807]

Wow, thank you ladies for this!! As a PK myself boy have I seen it all! This was beautifully articulated! God bless you all and please continue.🙏🏾

[@lindagidudu1395]

This was nice, thank you ♥

[@gertrudes6636]

Thank you

[@ashleynorman40]

Great conversation

[@naomiomireh7014]

Lovely episode, thanks for sharing guys. What if you are the one that has hurt someone, how do you forgive yourself?

[@lebogangkgangkenna]

I think that accountability and repentance is a great place to start

[@naomiomireh7014]

@@lebogangkgangkenna thanks, I think I have gotten to that point but somehow I just keep reminiscing about how I managed to hurt someone I love and how it's affected out relationship and how uncertain the future is. God has been faithful, guiding me through the acceptance and repentance process and I pray he teaches me how to finally forgive myself

[@debbypeace2167]

Start by reaching out to the person for closure . Repent to God. There is no condemnation

[@naomiomireh7014]

@@debbypeace2167 thanks🤗

[@austin27lj]

This is a hard one. I thought I was over it but realized as I engaged with leaders in the church that I still have feels in relation to church hurt. Outside of prayer what does the work look like in transforming this pain?

[@meuri5594]

Wow💞

[@adahoa]

church hurt😢😢😢😢eish I pray I will get over it one day😢

[@joydemiar4460]

Hi Stephanie! Congratulations on your engagement. 💞💍

[@brit9679]

I don’t really like the hospital for broken people saying. It’s like when are you going to get well? I’ve been through so much but never wanted to hurt anyone. I have to wonder if people really love Jesus. He paid a high price for people.

[@generationalcursebreaker5397]

I want to Caitlin friend. I can relate to her so much!