Dealing With Homesickness | A Thousand Words

[@tabzywabzy]

I moved away from my home town permanently 7 years ago (I'd moved away for university a few times before that) and to this day I still cry about it regularly. My therapist advised me to try and treat it like a bereavement because its torn that big of a hole in my heart. There truly is nothing like the feeling, especially if you move to somewhere you absolutely loathe but had to move for a partner! Just watching some vids on KZbin around homesickness to try and make myself feel better, this video definitely helped a little so thank you.

[@sarahm2878]

At least you have a partner! I live in a shit hole by myself for a job. I really had no choice.

[@smailliwKS86]

Thanks so much for this video. It’s always been my dream to move away from home and try somewhere new and after 36 years I finally did it. But I feel like everything has gone wrong since I moved and I miss home SO MUCH! But I know like you said the hole I left behind has been filled so it’s not like I can just go back. Which makes me feel homeless right now as my husband puts it. I hope we will soon get through this homesickness and find some friends. It’s so hard, much harder than I ever thought it would be! 😢

[@tracylentz4969]

Hi, I’m experiencing the same feelings as well. I’m 55 and we moved from where we grew up to NC a few months ago. I had been wanting to move somewhere new for a long time and was so excited! I didn’t think that I would be as homesick as I have been. So I really understand how you are feeling. After watching her video, I have hope that my homesickness will go away and yours too 💕

[@theriverqueen]

I just immigrated to the states from Canada, this video helped immensely. Thank you so very much.

[@prantikbasak]

Thank you. I needed to hear this today. I wrote down all of what you said so that I can go back to it when I feel low.

[@lorenheard2561]

I definitely get your missing your Walking Route comepletely!!💯%!! Some places really are the best for a memorable walk!!🥰

[@cleanbeauty.with.amelie]

Thank you so much for this video. I moved to New Zealand with my husband in January, we are both from Belgium. I am currently struggling a lot with homesickness. We got pregnant and it wasn't planned. My first trimester is very hard, I've been terribly sick (even with medication), had to quit my job and I am so sick I can hardly leave the house and on top of everything else, my sister back home just gave birth to a wonderful baby girl. This video really helped, even if not to get over it to just admit that it is normal to feel homesick and that at some stage, it will pass. Thank you for that ! :)

[@AThousandWords]

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I'm so sorry you are struggling with homesickness :( I hope you get to see your family sooner rather than later and in the meantime here are some {{{hugs}}}

[@cleanbeauty.with.amelie]

A Thousand Words thank you!

[@ConsciousCritter97]

Thank you for this, I was sobbing in the beginning of the video and managed to calm down and stop for a little, but I am crying again. I live in the US and just moved out of state for the first time (I'm currently 22). While I only moved two states away (700 miles), it feels like all my friends and family have passed away, even though I have continued to stay in contact with everyone on a daily or weekly basis. I knew I would fall apart due to homesickness, but I never expected it to be such a intense and debilitating depression. It feels like I made the biggest mistake in my 22 years, but I know there is good to come.

[@AThousandWords]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Hang in there, the intense feelings of grief will pass. x

[@anitanita5875]

Cassandra I know exactly how you feel. My Mom told me to get an apartment in NJ when I visited her Feb-Mar 2020 but I insisted on trying to buy. So I thought buying in FL would be a good idea since it was cheaper than NJ. Tried for a mortgage in FL, all while covid was going on. My Mom died 4/18/2020 and I ended up having to rent in FL anyway!!! I am dealing with homesickness, grief and overwhelming depression all at the same time. If you have a car or any way of transportation, suck up the hours and make the drive those 700 miles to give your Mom a hug for me. There's nothing like family.

[@Vivek-mx4rn]

I know exactly how you feel.

[@notabrand6283]

I love how practical your advice always is.

[@pamelaruth6909]

After being born and raised in Upstate NY for 63 years we pulled up roots and moved to NC but there was NO homesickness for me. I think that all the years as a child visiting my grandparents in NC caused it to grow in my heart as "home" also. As an adult I referred to it as down home and when our son made residence there and began to raise his family I knew that that is where I wanted to be. We have been here 5 years and not one day have I been homesick or missed where I grew up. Just wanted to give you my side of my move. We even travel back once a year and I have fun but know that NC is home for me!! TFS and take care..........

[@AThousandWords]

You've obviously exactly where you are supposed to be! x

[@emiri7842]

Thank you so much. Other videos I came across weren't based off experience, they all said the same things I read on the internet, and it didn't help me at all. However, listening to you, and hearing what you had to say, already been through the experience several times, it's comforted me, and helped me. I moved out of my parents home 3 weeks ago, because it was just that time. I had the opportunity, the money, amd moving also helped with gas money. (Home used to be a 30min drive to the nearest walmart) I miss my parents dearly and my cats. At times I feel like I made a mistake, but its just apart of life, to move out of the nest. :( Its going to be hard getting used to it, and I know for a fact, I am going to be listening to this video millions of times to remind myself that its okay feeling homesick and that its going to get better. Thank you so much. 😁

[@sarah-catelennox6717]

This video brought me peace. Thank you for your kind advice. ♥️

[@mollysmith6055]

At first, I thought this video would not apply to me since I'm home. But after having three deaths in the family very recently (both our dads and an aunt) with heaps of stress that went along with it I'm trying to deal with some bad depression and you have made many good videos that show your good self-care tips for dealing with stresses such as this video's topic. Grief is probably very similar to homesickness since you can't be with your loved ones. Just like you said, homesickness isn't permanent and I remember those pangs as a military bride away from home. For right now, I've cried buckets and 'felt the feels' and am getting scared at not being able to lift myself out of this muck. Our American Father's Day was a big nasty trigger. Hubby and I both gave ourselves a miss on our birthdays with all the dying going on around us a few weeks ago. What you said, "Hopefully with time it will get easier" is kind of my mantra lately. Thank you, dear Jen.

[@AThousandWords]

I'm so, so sorry for your losses :( Grief in any form is horrible, and one of the most exhausting things you'll go through. {{{{{hugs}}}}}

[@jonlynch4844]

When I moved away for university it was one of the hardest times of my life. But I never regret it. It changed me in a good way

[@gaynorwells9592]

Gone from South Africa over 40 years, still get my days.

[@FingonNZ]

Excellent practical advice Jen. Being Kiwis away from home for 7+ years it does get easier but it really can sneak up on you in surprising ways.

[@cindywhite4493]

I think making new friends locally helps. We have a awesome church family that help fill the gap. I miss family around birthdays and holidays.

[@rebeccax9463]

Hi, me and my partner are hoping to move to NZ at the end of this year. Your videos are very helpful - thanks!

[@tedt2697]

thank you very much for the video. it makes me feel that I am not alone

[@melissacook6041]

I'm so happy you mentioned not being homesick at all... I think I might be in that category. (I didn't want to say it in public as I think people might think I'm heartless.) But I guess it's better to be prepared with an action plan if it should occur rather than assume you won't be affected and it catches you off-guard.

[@dwonking5696]

Peace,, I got alot of good advice in this words of wisdom spoken from you,, thanks

[@walkerhjk]

We emigrated to NZ in 1962 from UK and I have never felt homesick for UK, Sure it was a bit of a scary leap into the dark, in those days it was difficult to get good information from NZ House, it was all touristy stuff. Boiling mud pools, geysers and wahines in grass skirts are all very well if you are going on holiday but what I wanted was more along the lines of the the price of bread anf milk and the cost of housing! . It took 2 years working with NZ House who were VERY slow taking several weeks each time to respond to the multiple forms etc I had to complete, arrange for medicals, the Dr they sent us to had retired a year earlier, it took a long time to get that through the NZ House who eventually sent us to another Dr, THen an interview with a representative of the NZ Govt who travelled to Nottingham. THen we had to wait for a sailing date. We sailed from Southampton for a six week voyange on the Shaw Saville 'Southern Cross' via Cape Town , the Indian Ocean and several stops on the Australian coast, arriving in Wellington on the Friday of Labour Weekend 1962. However it all paid off and coming here was the best move in my life. I returned to UK in 2001 for 6 weeks for a family wedding and was homesick after a month there, the last fortnight was a real struggle waiting for my flight back home..

[@balintnora8982]

I moved countries for uni, it is my last year now, and I can’t wait to go home! I don’t really have friends here and I feel like I can’t even connect with them on the level I have connected with my friends back home. I can’t fit in. I feel like an outcast, and no matter what I’m trying to do, it just drains me

[@emilykiesling2315]

Well said!!

[@alicedelaney6570]

Great video, I'm just interested to know, is it South Africa or the UK you feel homesick for when you feel it? We lived in Australia for 13 years and had a fab time but moved back to Ireland 4 years ago, it was definitely the right decision for us, our boys have settled in great here, love their schools and having family here has made such a difference for us. Like yourself, living away for so long the homesickness was less regular but when we eventually weighed up the pros and cons of living in either country we realised Ireland was the place for us :-) I'm sorry Christmas is so hard for you, that's when I used to miss my family most.

[@AThousandWords]

I never ever get homesick for SA, although I did when we first moved to England. I only get homesick for England :(

[@alicedelaney6570]

It's hard when the homesickness hits isn't it? Where do your family live? I think I remember your mum moved to England when you lived there?

[@marieDg]

My homesickness has caused anxiety . I can no longer work due to Lupus and fibromyalgia so I don't have anyone to make friends with. It really is horrible Jen xx

[@AThousandWords]

I'm sorry :( I recommend Anthony William's books, they have changed my health so much.

[@sharonwaite6507]

Hi from another South African in the Naki via Auckland

[@AThousandWords]

Hello!

[@CRJ12345]

You are wearing the earrings you bought at Kmart the other day. They look nice on you.

[@AThousandWords]

Thank you :)

[@sldjme]

Just curious...how did your sons handle moving two times?

[@AThousandWords]

They've always been pretty resilient and coped well. Daniel had one big meltdown shortly after we moved to NZ - it was really hard without our stuff while it was being shipped, we felt like we couldn't begin settling yet. The boys also struggled while Grant was away for 4.5 months, but settled well once he was back.

[@lisaclaasen5035]

Hi Jen. I'm South African. Bf and I are planning on getting married and emigrating, we are both under 40. Do you think it is easier to settle in the UK or New Zealand or Australia? Love your channel. X

[@AThousandWords]

I think it depends on so many things. If you have British grandparents you can get ancestry visas so UK would be easy. If you don't, then I don't know how easy it would be. If you have enough points for NZ then it would be straightforward but if you don't then it would be more difficult. Can't speak for Aus as no experience with it. All the best, hope you find your path!

[@lisaclaasen5035]

A Thousand Words bf has a British passport as both his parents were born there. I have nothing and I'm terrified that they won't accept me or won't grant me permanent residency. I am a qualified attorney so am not without skills and abilities. I am unable to find a job in SA which is big part of wanting to emigrate. If I leave SA I am not coming back as the situation here is becoming dire. We want to have a child one day but raising one here is not an option. If I am not accepted in the UK the next option would be Republic of Ireland or Aus or NZ. Thank you again for your comment it is much appreciated. Xx

[@reneeferreira4994]

Hi Jen, please could you tell me the name of the Facebook group you formed? Battling with homesickness too. I’m fresh off the ship to NZ we immigrated here last September

[@AThousandWords]

It's this one facebook.com/groups/366961367030120/ I hope you are able to settle well and that it gets easier with time.

[@delroseharris8684]

Can you imagine other people hundreds of years ago. What you experience is nothing

[@AThousandWords]

Many people suffer in many different ways. If you believe someone shouldn't feel down because someone else has it worse, do you believe you shouldn't feel happy because someone has it better? Try to have compassion rather than judgement, it is a kinder way to go through life. I'm sure it was devastating for others hundreds of years ago - that doesn't mean that the homesickness people experience now is "nothing".

[@lorenheard2561]

We all have a life,and only the person living it truly knows how they feel. Some folks have adventurous spirits,and others cling like an Octopus for the past. I am a latter person. I really don't see "getting over it"..

[@goodtalker]

Don't move to the US!!! We are all moving in with you!!!