Dealing with Hostile and Abusive Customers

[@JCMowatt]

It's disheartening to hear that these rude people are creating anxiety for you. It's definitely more difficult when people are one the phone... because they are anonymous. One thing I suggest you do more when interacting with them is use their name frequently. It subtly reminds them that that they aren't anonymous. I also suggest you reiterate your grand intention... "I do want to help you (name)... and I understand this is frustrating." Those kinds of statements help diffuse the anger somewhat. Hope that's helpful. Best wishes, Jeff

[@Nmsss760]

I work as a cashier for McDonald’s and had a customer openly threaten my life I just started out and need the job what should I do

[@JCMowatt]

Gosh that's horrible Mona. I'm so sorry to hear that. First thing is if they ever ask for cash, give them what they want. Second talk with your manager, and they should contact the authorities and taking legal action and steps to protect your security. This isn't a angry customer issue; it's a criminal issue.

[@PsychicsRfake456]

do not engage, walk away. get the manager or if you have to call the cops. keep in mind most people have phones and you don't want to be recorded saying or doing something you will regret latter. best just walk away

[@654Crossman]

Uhhh... maybe CALL THE DAMN COPS. You realize that threatening your life is illegal, right?

[@Fahim_Lalani]

And just move so they can’t figure out where you live and outside the city if possible then you should be fine friend since there’s lots of bad folks out there plus learn some self defense techniques there’s a lot of free great ones over you tube and let me know if you need any help with that ❤ and try to avoid negative situations at all times but stay aware plus you can report that stuff to the fbi etc my friend and you could also start building some good muscle that will protect you like crazy but you can even bodybuild but you don’t have to become a bodybuilder or go that far but building muscle mose definitely helps regardless of what folks say plus I will give you a solid self defense technique right now which take out any bad guy. Just strike or punch three vulnerable spots in the body of the evil being it’s called the b.e.t technique meaning balls (or groin) eyes and throat again and again as needed provided your life is in danger and that will take him out if not knocking him out and that’s a very very valid and popular powerful technique so stay careful friend take care ❤ it’s only for the very bad guy and should be the last resort. Also you can try to wear a rosary for it’s the best weapon in many many people’s opinion and I especially like the combat rosary for like 12 dollars ❤believe me it’s great the rosary will the crucifix (cross) of course should definitely protect you or try choosing one from your religion if you’re not Christian or catholic etc

[@JCMowatt]

Hi Jen, I agree when people overuse your name you lose trust. That said, saying the person's name - when they are losing control - is one of the most effective ways to get their attention.

[@TyB95]

The unfortunate thing is that more and more call centres are making it so that you're not allowed to hang up. Rogers communications in Canada is one of those.

[@JCMowatt]

That's unfortunate, Tyrone. Thanks for your comment.

[@Downfall466]

Same thing with Ticketmaster. They do nothing to protect their own employees from customer abuse and force them to not hang up on an irate customer for any reason.

[@chinkyfist6655]

Very short and straight forward. I am going to do this today. Thanks for sharing.

[@JCMowatt]

My pleasure. Thanks for viewing it and adding your kind comment!

[@chinkyfist6655]

@@JCMowatt just got a new subscriber!

[@agentbubbles782]

This video was so helpful. The subway I work at has so many Karens.

[@JCMowatt]

Glad to hear you find it helpful. Gotta say, out of respect for the many kind and decent women whose names happen to be "Karen", I'm not a fan of using it as a derogatory label.

[@PCCphoenix]

My main question is, how do you deal with such situations without getting angry yourself? In my case in particular, such conversations could only end with my saying, "One moment please..." and transferring to a supervisor without warning!

[@JCMowatt]

Actually Daniel, I think we wouldn't be human if we didn't feel angry ourselves. Feeling angry is a natural reaction. However, our feelings and actions are two very different things - thank goodness! While it's OK to FEEL angry, the actual words we say need to diffuse rather than inflame the situation. And often when we are angry it's hard to think of what to say. That's why it's so important to have these communication tools available and practice them in advance. Even when you're angry you have them at your fingertips. Since these phrases do work and do calm down the caller, they also help us get over our feelings of anger and frustration. I hope that's helpful.

[@summerholiday9224]

I started working in a bar 3 months ago in a concert venue. 2 weeks ago it was a total sell out (14,000). The crowd were very drunk and aggressive and they started coming over the counters attacking us. My manager got punched in the face, another colleague was grabbed by the neck and a man grabbed my arm and tried to pull me over. They were of course also shouting abuse at us. As a 5 foot 3, 100 pound, 18 year old girl I was absolutely terrified. This is not uncommon for our work, have you got any advice as to how to deal with violet customers? We did call the police however the crowd was so big they couldn’t get there in time!

[@CmmndrCodyGames]

You sell alchohol at 18? Lol where you live Australia?

[@JCMowatt]

Great question, Sriram! When it comes to abusive boss the same principle applies... we deal with them by EARNING their respect. That means being assertive w/o being aggressive. It also pays for you to understand local labour laws, and human rights laws. For example in my province of Alberta, Canada employers cannot fire employees w/o cause, unless they provide compensation. And if employers are abusive, employees can file a claim through the Alberta Human Rights Commission, without having to hire a lawyer. Employees do not have to tolerate abusive employers. Keep in mind, all incidents need to be accurately documented. The other side of the coin is employees cannot act disrespectfully or insubordinate either. Hope that's helpful, Sriram.

[@WestSeaSpirit]

I work at McDonald's and a guy in my face called me a 'piece of shit' 'fuck you' etc. Obviously bigger then me and I told him politely to wait. Anyway I said excuse me I was very busy and I'm sorry he continued and drove off. I said what goes around comes around which obviously was really unprofessional.

[@dineshv2785]

I work part time in a supermarket ,billing. A customer gave a 100 rupees note and said that he gave me 200rs. I held myself calm and said that he gave 100. But then he started swearing and using abusive language and tone. After sometime he came again and I gave 100 , because I cant Handle him again...

[@JCMowatt]

Gosh that sounds frightening! Any venues that sell alcohol in most jurisdictions are required by provincial and state law to provide security for patrons and staff. While attending university I worked part time as a 'supervisor' aka bouncer at a nightclub and certainly experienced violent inebriated patrons. Your bar did the right thing in phoning the police. That said, since this has happened in the past, the facility is not living up to it's obligation to provide adequate security. If I were in your shoes I'd write a letter to management explaining the lack of security... cite the examples of violence in the past. Let them know you expect them to take increased measures to prevent it from happening again. Then if they don't improve the security or they decide to fire you to get rid of the 'problem', a human rights court (if you live in a province) or workplace lawyer would likely prevail in a case of wrongful dismissal. You don't have to put up with the lack of adequate security. I hope that's helpful.

[@beatrisiversen7519]

I like that.. I am paid to take the heat but not the abusive.. I struggle with this everyday.. and my boss said that.. however I never responded to that.. but now I understand.. Thanks.. I know now what to say.. will share your video :-)

[@JCMowatt]

Glad you found this message about abusive customers to be helpful, Beatris. Thanks so much for sharing this with others!

[@JCMowatt]

No worries Abe. Frankly I agree - people who lie are bullshitters. :)

[@happyandhealthy888]

he is so cute

[@JCMowatt]

Heaven's Jen, if you're often being verbally abused by customers, I supposed I'd wonder why you'd volunteer for that. If on the other hand the abuse is quite rare, and you do believe in the cause for which you're volunteering, then I'd suggest pointing out UP FRONT that you are an 'unpaid volunteer' By definition all volunteers are 'unpaid' but sometimes we need to spell it out for people that you really are there as a volunteer. I know when I've canvassed for donations for charities door to door, I've always pointed out right up front "I'm an unpaid volunteer, canvassing for..." It always makes the homeowner less hostile to the intrusion. Hope that's helpful.

[@aishrocks210]

Seeking advice. I work at a non profit. For the most part, I am by myself all day. Every Tuesday and Friday a recycle company uses our property to make it easier for people who want to recycle but cannot make it to their main drop off area. Now every Tuesday and Friday there is this older “gentleman” who comes and recycles his items. And every single time he stops by my area and says something sexual and derogatory. Usually I just ignore him. Although, during our last interaction he decided to call out to me in his “normal” way and do a little hump with his fists pumping. I couldn’t help myself and decided to give him the bird. He then drives by and threatens to give me a black eye and leaves. I’m not quite sure what to do. I’m from Kauai and our mentality is to just kick these types of guys in the balls and move on. But I’m at work so I’m trying to keep it professional and I can’t exactly put a TRO on him because I don’t even know his name. What do I do?

[@JCMowatt]

Very sorry to hear about this creep's behavior, Lele. He has threatened you with physical violence. That in itself is a crime. I suggest you bring it to the attention of the police and to the attention of your employer. Both are responsible for protecting your physical safely. When you bring it to the attention of your employer, but it in writing so that you have documentation of it. I suspect that local police can offer to patrol the area more frequently, and your employer can install cameras, so that his license plate can be captured and a restraining order can be issued. Again, Lele, really sorry you are being subjected to this asshole's behavior.

[@aishrocks210]

@@JCMowatt Thank you very much for getting back to me so quickly. I did write an email to my boss and she just got back to me about it. Everything you just said is exactly what she is doing right now. We don’t have his license plate number yet but we have cameras everywhere so I’m sure we’ll find it. May I ask what I should do if he comes back and no one is around? He did threaten also that his wife would come and “deal” with me. It may be an empty threat but you never know.

[@JCMowatt]

@@aishrocks210 Glad to hear your boss is being responsive. It's obvious you are rightfully concerned about what might happen the next time you are alone and if he comes in again. My suggestion is again to put your fear in writing to your boss explaining that until his license plate is indeed found and that restraining order is issued, you don't feel safe working on your own... That you need a restraining order to happen, or for your employer to provide some other form of security. This is your employer's problem and a police problem. If your employer balks or talks of dismissing you, then you might chose to talk to a lawyer. You'd have a significant chance of 'winning' but the cost in stress might not justify it. I hope that's helpful. Really sorry you're going through this. Good luck!

[@aishrocks210]

@@JCMowatt thank you very much for the advice. I appreciate it.

[@abemartinez9623]

Had a customer flat out lie today was such bullshit

[@JCMowatt]

Sorry to hear that, Abe. Not much you can do about that unless there's clear evidence of the lie.

[@abemartinez9623]

@@JCMowatt sorry for my language , thanks for your input

[@freecheese4143]

If you provide a business and put up with abuse then you need to work more on gaining new customers. I have learned from the people in the business that have done it longer that it is best to decline jobs then to risk taking them. I have to tell customers sometimes that we will not be working for them. It is far easier to move on to the next customer as there are far more that will pay and also be cooperative.

[@JCMowatt]

It is true that in this economy for many businesses there is more customer demand than supply. Those businesses certainly can be more selective in who they choose to do business with. And I have at times told some potential customer s who I thought would be ultra high maintenance that I didn't think I'd be the right person for what they're looking for. It comes down to qualifying the customer at the outset. Good strategy.

[@lisabudd5979]

Well language is on thing but its the body language ,the closeness and the highten tone of voice with agression...which can be put of our control givem to days drug and alcohol influenced coustomers...this is what we deal with ....or intitled karens whom just want to be special.

[@hardrokrulzjj]

You neglected to say anything about dealing with such aforementioned customers in person as it is quite a different situation and you cannot simply hang up on the customer

[@JCMowatt]

Thanks for your comment - Good point. Main reason is we know that the incidence of customers being abusive is exponentially greater on the phone than in person. In person, there are several strategies we can use to PREVENT the person from becoming abusive in the first place. Check out my other videos for those kinds of tips.

[@chrismc410]

hardrokrulzjj that's what security and/or local law enforcement, trespass notices and restraining orders are for. If a customer gets abusive in person, ask them to leave. If they've paid money, refund all of their money to date and then ask them to leave. If they refuse to leave, call security if applicable and have them detain him and call the police. If no security, call the police directly. Release them to police custody. Unless a crime was committed, they will escort the ex customer off the property and serve them with a trespass notice. If practical or possible have a restraining order issued against the former customer.

[@truth322]

I hate ppl.calling me by my name..it's obvious they have been on a course n taught to do this..they repeat your name over n over..so inauthentic

[@charliestone8323]

I was making a pizza delivery. Forgot a dipping cup... Knocked on door and a pretty but tired and kind woman answered and had a look of someone with prolonged stress.. her 6ft 200 lb young adult son was behind her as well. There was a birthday table and a few balloons and it was definitely a lonely family bday party. The son had "wangster" attire which included a black ny baseball snapback cap and black shorts etc. I asked if it was ok if I could drive back with the dipping cup because I left it. She said don't worry about it and was assuring me it was ok but at the same time her son insulted me, told me I better come back, called me ugly and a b*tch then he was walking back into the house and the woman turned from reassurance, into apologizing for his behavior... Well I realized what he was doing and I moved to make sure he could hear me sternly say "Hey, you don't have to be such an asshole.".... Well, the woman apologized for a few more seconds and he had a few seconds to think, then he starts coming out the door to attack and his mother held him back, I took a few steps back and instinctively reached for my Civilian Taser but the woman managed to close the door and I guess perhaps they noticed my hand motion towards my pocket , it was very quick but I put my hands in the air once I realized she had him under control. She was apologizing over and over as I walked backwards to my vehicle with my hands in the air and I waved to her as I left.. she even persisted to apologize as I was sitting in the vehicle about 15 yards away with the windows rolled up.. she looked like she wanted to speak with me .. I saw that they were having a lonely family birthday party and I thought that her child grew up without a father to discipline him because the son cussed out and insulted the delivery man. I called him out as being an asshole then he wanted to attack. For me to ignore his aggression and hatred was impossible. I feel sorry for his mother. She looked weary and stressed for her age and was fair and worn.. it was as if she was being worn away and had a good soul. It was sad .. she sat watching and I waved to her and drove off.. I felt like she wanted to talk to me but she was certainly there to protect me from her son. I must know more about these encounters and de-escalation without abandoning my self respect and ignoring peoples vile hatred and I did good by calling him out... I feel sorry for the mother and I was indeed prepared for combat if he managed to get past her. I'm 5'6 140 lbs he was like 6ft over 200 lbs. I was ready and it escalated extremely fast but I was calm and kept my morales, self respect and honor intact.

[@JCMowatt]

Thanks for sharing your story, Charlie. I was with you right up to the point where you called the customer an asshole. I 100% agree with you that we shouldn't allow the customer to become abusive. And I also 100% agree with your right to physically defend yourself - good for you! However, name calling in my estimation makes your behaviour as abusive as his. Especially after the situation seemed to have resolved itself, and the mother had apologized. What if you had instead asserted yourself w/o name calling? In other words, as he gave his threats/ statements you said. Hey, I made a mistake and I'm going to make it right. However, I'm only going to do that providing you stop making threats and swearing at me. If he continued state - that's it I'm gone. Do not order pizza from my restaurant ever again. Then leave. You'd still have your self respect, which I agree is non negotiable. But that way you are not part of the abusive behaviour. Then go back, tell your boss. If he or she is a good boss they'll send a text stating that that customer is never to order from that restaurant again. Hope that's helpful, Charlie. Thanks again for sharing.

[@charliestone8323]

@@JCMowatt Thank you sir. That is a excellent and professional way to handle the situation. I was upset because I allowed my ego to escalate the situation by responding in the way I did. I'll remember this encounter and will learn from my mistakes.. it was very quick and I feel like I'm better prepared for encountering possible psychopaths in the future thanks to you. Thank you again sir

[@JCMowatt]

@@charliestone8323 My pleasure, Charlie. Really impressed with your willingness to continue to learn and adjust your actions in future. You'll go far with that attitude. Best wishes.

[@leaky3rd.i495]

No offence Jeff but I work I on a coved contact centre these callers are arrogant and entitled super rude I have never had anxiety in my life until I started working as a call handler I have used these line full in control nothing wining these great British people over.

[@JCMowatt]

Sounds discouraging, Dinesh. Sorry you were subjected to that kind of behavior. In that kind of circumstance, where there is no proof of wrongdoing, I'd suggest for next time a different approach, for both you and the store manager... Privately tell the store manager what actually happened. The manager then should make the decision that it isn't worth that customer's future business. Having a customer lie, swear, yell and make a scene in front of other customers is bad for business. In that case the supervisor should give the 100 rupees to the customer (as you did), and then tell the customer he is never to return to the store. That would be the best moral and financial decision for that store manager. I hope that's helpful, Dinesh. Best wishes

[@DidiStyle]

You better say sir or ma'am in the south though!

[@JCMowatt]

Yes'm - I believe you're right, Didi. I lived in Dallas for a short while and 'sir' and ma'me are the norm. When in Rome... (or in the South)! :)

[@truth322]

what if you're not paid at all?..what if you're voluntary?