Dealing with Pregnancies and Babies while Battling Infertility

An open, honest chat about how I have dealt with being around pregnancies, babies, and other such things throughout my TTC and infertility from recurrent miscarriages journey.
And YES I cried on camera again.
:) XOXO Alyssa Be-You-Kin
IG: BuchinBaby

[@marriednblessed3241]

Great video. I've noticed some change in feelings towards pregnant women and babies too. At first I was excited because I couldn't wait for it to be my turn. Now, I'm usually just sad-especially since most of my friends are already on baby #2 and I'm stuck waiting to get pregnant with our first. When my SIL got pregnant, it was so hard for me to deal with. It was unplanned and not really wanted at the time-it's all we wanted. The complaining about huge prenatals and swollen ankles drove me crazy. I helped plan a lot of the baby shower. My heart was beating so hard before it all started because I was so worked up about seeing her belly and people asking when I was going to be pregnant. I busied my self with taking the pictures so I wouldn't have to sit and be in baby conversations. I did find myself in a baby conversation but excused myself to go to the restroom. I'm so ready to get pregnant and have a baby-I don't like feeling this way. It will be such a life changer. Thanks for being open and honest with us. Rooting for you to get your BFP!

[@BuchinBaby]

Marriednblessed Thank you very much for the support! I also want to thank you for sharing your story with me, I appreciate it. That was pretty much how I handled my SIL's shower! I kept busy filling up food, sorting gifts, and that kind of thing. I sincerely am hoping for your BFP too! Let me know if there is anything else you think I could talk about that could be helpful. XOXO Alyssa

[@mssendfitness]

I just attended my SIL's baby shower today. I was designated to bake cupcakes.. I couldn't refuse.. without writing my entire TTC journey in a comment I must say it was a battle not to run out of the church balling my eyes out. Nonetheless I endured 3 hours of AW's and Oo's for her, and the baby.. I have a headache but worse I have a heartache. I don't know how I will handle myself once the baby is here. It's been a 4 year journey and counting for my hubby and I... With PCOS it's hard to say if I ever will become a Mom. The one thing I always wanted more than anything else... So I busied myself in the morning with shopping to offset my emotions.. but it didn't last.. The struggle is seeming to be more permanent, as well as the emotional pain.. I pray everyday that I will find contentment in being childless.

[@stienburg]

I know exactly how you feel, I've gone through all those emotions, I've even had to close out of some TTC pages because I couldn't take anymore BFP. I've deleted my Facebook before and even stopped talking to people because they got pregnant, Like you, my feeling changed and maybe I've grown but you are right it changes daily and it changes for different people. Some people can announce they are pregnant and I won't feel anything and others I feel complete sadness and other I just get pissed. One of my very close friends called me a few months ago to tell me she was pregnant and she cried while she told me because she knew how much i wanted the same as her. I automatically threw myself into planning mode and threw her the best baby shower I could, why.... Because it made it easier to be apart then to hang on to those sad feelings. After the shower my husband and I just sat in the car and talked about when we have a baby...Infertility emotions are raw, they can eat you alive if you let them. I am still working through them but I feel like I'm in a better place, I don't feel the urge to punch every pregnant person. Instead I pray because God has a plan, he is working with me.

[@BuchinBaby]

April A Thank you for the support! I was hard to put it all out there, but it helps for me to get it off of my mind. Your story sounds so familiar. I really appreciate you sharing with me. I know how hard that can be. haha, I get the punching pregnant lady urge too, but generally people frown on that... ;) XOXO Alyssa

[@corib1501]

I think it was good that you made this video. I know what disappointment feels like too. When you want something so bad and it's the core of your being, it's only natural to feel some bitterness when others around are successful. I'm sorry you are going through all of that. Just keep in mind that you've learned more about yourself; and how you can and will benefit from it. Most people aren't tuned into their feelings and don't know how to decipher them. Be patient and kind to yourself.

[@BuchinBaby]

Cori K Thank you for the support! I try to have patience with myself, sometimes is can be difficult. I keep reminding myself that everything that I am going through is making me a stronger person and better parent! XOXO Alyssa

[@BrandiN323]

Thanks so much for this video! I am not currently struggling with infertility but I want a baby sooo much and my husband refuses to even consider ttc anytime soon. So the first part of the video when you talk about being jealous really hit home with me. 4 close friends have had babies within the past year and a half and one of them is now due with her 2nd. Praying for your sweet take home baby to come ASAP!

[@BuchinBaby]

CoffeeTime0901 Thank you for your support! I understand that feeling, it's challenging to be on a different page than your spouse. It's a stupid cliche, but I am sure your time is coming soon. XOXO Alyssa

[@marriednblessed3241]

Suggestion: a video about infertility on Mother's Day

[@BuchinBaby]

Marriednblessed That's a great idea! Thank you! XO Alyssa

[@karmenfox5740]

"seeing the pregnant woman in the grocery store who just, looks like a bitch.." LOL.