Dear Future Wifey S4, 401: Shoot Your Shot (Jay Barnett & Essence Atkins)

Today’s episode kicks off the premiere of Season Four. This entire season is dedicated to singles as we navigate “These Dating Streets.” If one ever has hopes of getting off the bench, they must first overcome the fear of shooting their shot. Urban dictionary defines “Shooting Your Shot” as being brave and having the audacity to do something that might be embarrassing. Joining us to transparently discuss this topic are friends of the show, Essence Atkins and Jay Barnett.
DEAR FUTURE WIFEY MERCH
www.DearFutureWifey.com
SUBSCRIBE & LEAVE A REVIEW
KZbin Channel: / dearfuturewifey
Apple Podcast: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
Google Play: play.google.com/music/m/Iae4c...
Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/podcast/dear...
Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/1r3Ba1G...
FOLLOW US
IG: @dearfuturewifeypodcast | IG: @laterrasrwhitfield
Facebook: / dearfuturewifey
Twitter: @dfwifeypodcast

[@candicane1]

I was not ready for him to literally shoot his shot on camera. Lawd. Bless his heart.

[@cloversmithbent9729]

@candicane1 me too😅 olordt🤦🏾‍♀️ I listened so attentively….lovvve his vulnerability.

[@monicasaffold9405]

so are we gonna just skate pass the fact that Essence is almost 50, wow !!!!!!!! she's absolutely beautiful and doesn't look a day over 25.

[@susan8576]

What??? Now I'm in shock!!!😨😨😨😨 she is so beautiful

[@tarahines2381]

I did not know!! She is beautiful‼️

[@latasha8581]

I agree

[@claudettevt7400]

🔥🙏❤️❤️❤️

[@reesycasi]

Was thinking the same thing!

[@KingJayBarnett]

My brother Laterras, as always man I'm grateful for your courage to openly share your journey with the world. Thank you for the opportunity to be a part, love you brother. And Essence always bring such an elegant and broad perspective on life experiences. I enjoyed the episode man. Cheers to the best podcast...

[@DearFutureWifey]

Thank you for being a willing vessel to share this space.

[@raeliciamorris900]

🤨😂🤨🤨😍 I was

[@thequeenofresources]

@@DearFutureWifey Laterris I don't know you brother. But, hear some words of wisdom. Before you shoot your shot next time do this. 1. First let the young lady know that the conversation is being recorded. 2. Ask her what type of men does she usually dating? while she is describing him see if she is describing you? 3. Ask her what type of man does she desire to be married too? You will know right away if she is describing you. 4. Then tell her your reason for asking her those questions is because you are interested in dating her (gathering data) with the intention of marriage. Note: Every women knows what type of man she wants to be married too. Just like men know what type.of women they want to be married too. Be blessed and be safe out there. Sister Keshia

[@letsbefruitful5457]

@@thequeenofresources great advice!

[@kellyamouzou7278]

Just Thank You Jay for your spiritually ordered input in this conversation. The 3 of you gave me increased Hope, Confirmation that I am on the right path and deep Gratitudr for the Work God has been doing on me on my journey to my God ordained Husband. Thank You and bless you on your own journey. Joy

[@sheenau3447]

I commend him for letting her know he see her. I love how she handled him with care.

[@lb1798]

That was special ...it didn't come out as rejection...but as love and concern.❤️

[@michellemorris9181]

That's so true! She was kind and sweet. He acknowledged his feelings!

[@Harykeh]

Essence is the wisdom God described in Proverbs. This woman is wise and definitely speaks to Jesus. Thank you for teaching us how it should be done.

[@audaciousenuf8606]

I love how she broke down the help me and emotions. Teach sister Essence

[@ajordan1847]

"To be known and seen by one." -Essence Atkins Whew!!!🙏❤🙏🙏🙏 Quote worthy. 🙏

[@yolandawilliams236]

Definitely a tweetable moment!

[@rehanna6594]

​@@athleticWorld1849 She is.

[@purpledancerbmw5279]

Amen, truly! That's what we all search for....... Finish my sentences day nab it! 👀👋

[@purpledancerbmw5279]

Day not day, spell check finishing my sentences all wrong.

[@purpledancerbmw5279]

One more again DAG!!!!

[@duduetsangphatsimokoko9519]

Essence Atkins, "...I'm used to operating without a covering." I felt that. God bless her 🙏🏽🙏🏽 love her ❤️

[@kanikaevans4284]

I so relate with her.

[@latasha8581]

Oh wow! I felt that as well when she said that

[@AllThingsSoul]

But...us ladies have to allow a man to "cover us" so he feels needed in our lives for the things that money can't buy. Let him open the door for you, pull out your chair, walk closest to the street, you can even let him order your meal for you sometimes. Go sit on his lap when you need a hug. Let that man know what you need him for!

[@shilliard1888]

When I say she is the translator..whew!!

[@theprocessforummediagroup3229]

Thank you Essence for allowing the phone conversation to be aired to demonstrate to women how important it is to deliver delicate information to a man with grace, class and style so that he walks away empowered and not injured - something women of this age are so notorious for doing...being intentional in their pursuit to injure and not uplift. ✌🏽♥️🙏🏽

[@DearFutureWifey]

And that's my I swallowed my EGO (Edging God Out) and posted this

[@yolandawilliams236]

@ the process forum media group...well said!

[@yolandawilliams236]

@ Latererras..you my friend already have the everlasting love of God. Even if you don't find her in this lifetime..the FATHER is well pleased!

[@teejaybee9]

The problem is that she didn't know it was going to air, initially. Immediately, for me, that would take away from the authenticity of the conversation. She stated that she had no idea that she was being recorded. She applauded him for his vulnerability but she made it clear that deception existed on his part. He recorded a private conversation and decided to make it public. She protected him in his vulnerable moment but he took a moment and made her vulnerable.

[@RDCFemmes]

@@teejaybee9 thank you. I got tired of protecting the ego of men whose sole intentions was to use and abuse me. I told them the truth about themselves and the truth hurts. Now if they have any sense, that should be a clue to work on themselves and be better for the next woman. Not stroke their ego and make them feel good when they are not good man.

[@frannygochi]

"You can't want the PRESENCE of my body and then not want the PRESENCE of my soul"! Deep

[@dineoportiamagoro3212]

Very deep❤

[@grannysesebe9721]

Extremely deep ,and what would it take to gain all and loose your Soul .

[@BreenyLee]

This episode was IT! Especially love the part about being SEEN for who you are and not what you do ♥️

[@magneticaims]

Breeny! Good to know you watch this too. I watch you sometimes as well.

[@justcallmenee]

I have so much respect for Essence for the way she spoke the truth in love to Latteras. That’s a hard thing to do, but it shows how much she cares for her friends.

[@noble604]

So much care and it was almost twice as long as this. I agree!

[@AngieeShipps]

Love this podcast. A few notes I have taken from this pod : - Be open to a organic friendship before considering being in a relationship with someone. - Listen to yourself and have discernment before continuing a romantic interaction. - Both men and women need a safe and secure place to be human and imperfect. - A relationship requires selfless and sacrifice. - A woman is called to be helpful to man. - Be open to rejection and face it with confidence. - Stop looking for the outcome and look for the lesson. - As woman, be gracious and gentle in you expressing honesty. - Grow in the process and all things work together for the good.

[@absolutetreasures6877]

I didn’t see that phone call coming, but the vulnerability, honestly and just y’all being grown was so real, and though I cringe, it was amazing because it shed a weight and an understanding that it’s okay on both sides, you shooting your shot and she being true to herself. It was indeed LIT.

[@KP_FruitsoftheSpirit]

Absolutely! God is getting him Ready Love these guys.❤️🙏🏽

[@Yukia76]

Yes

[@stephaniecollins9202]

Absolute Treasures I did!!! I knew he liked her like from the first video with her on it.

[@KP_FruitsoftheSpirit]

I love this comment and this whole platform. This just shows you how real and authentic living in your truth is.❤️🙏🏽

[@tanyaholland8542]

I was waiting for that phone call because I was always expecting and hoping with faith that they would connect on a higher intimate level.. however I wasn't expecting the disappointing outcome. But I pray they continue to stay connected and cheer their spiritual wisdom and Revelation with one another

[@dynamiss12]

Essence's name is so befitting. The way she handled this was classy & full of grace. Some women would have put aside their convictions, just to "have a man" (a good one at that), but she was willing to stand in her truth & say that while you ARE an amazing man, you're just not HER amazing man & thus, she will continue to wait. I have so much respect for that. 👏🏾 for your courage Laterras. Loved watching ADULT men & women get it right.

[@Klove514]

Essence is right! I love a hand written note or a greeting card more than any handbag you could buy me. 💕

[@mo_love7089]

My love language !!!!

[@Thefitmarquee]

Y’all did I miss something- did her fiancé pay for the trip/ shows/ lodging ? Was that not enough as a present? I love creative gifts too but I’m sure after that feedback he could make it right with her.

[@noirefit5954]

I have really fallen in love with this show. And I hope Essence is brought back more. So much wisdom

[@Radience100]

I absolutely love to see the vulnerability of these 3 people!!!!!! How Essence said she desires to be excavated and known by one man and not be admired by many is powerful!

[@alvinjackson9685]

Wow! That was deep!

[@saywhatondat]

Absolutely !

[@vivianbelk6211]

Her and J clicks but won’t go for it

[@garnet1178]

In my mind… Two big brothers and their little sister sitting on a couch having a discussion about love, marriage and relationships. I love it! 🖤💜

[@inspirationalempressoflove220]

She's actually close to 10 years older than both of them...though she looks like she could be younger...but I get your point. 👍

[@DrKellie247]

It looks like Essence is the little sister, but she's the big sister with the little brothers.

[@shons_homecooking]

except shes older then both of them lol

[@Therealgiantslayer]

Essence really gave a great example on how to keep a healthy male/female relationship and set healthy boundaries.

[@Noirmariposa]

This is a much healthier talk format than some other popular shows on youtube/ social media.

[@DearFutureWifey]

Amen

[@MyMARI3]

She gave him hints in their last podcast that she only saw him as a friend. That was bold to shoot your shot on camera. I felt uncomfortable for her, but she handled herself well

[@shedagirl1726]

She was graceful with her response.

[@JoJoInHouston1982]

I completely agree.

[@dawneshiaellerbe6765]

yeah i felt very uncomfortable. She did great.

[@cassiebrunson1590]

I felt uncomfortable the whole podcast, when he titled it shoot your shoot😂.

[@allthingsash4303]

Same

[@nissihuni7823]

I always say this.... Don't pour out your soul to someone before you discern if they have the capacity to handle you in that moment👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@jvhunt6319]

Im 22 and told two ppl i liked them. They both handled me with care in their rejection but its been weird for me ever since to carry on like that didnt happen.

[@nikkyshamz2696]

@JV Hunt might be your ego coming into play especially cos you said they handled you kindly .

[@darisesanker6022]

​@jvhunt6319 some time has passed I'm curious about the two relationships since your sharing; update?

[@Blessed-ly6kr]

​​@@jvhunt6319give that to God. Don't let it hold your mind in bondage. Is just a trick of the devil. Cast your care upon the LORD, and... Leave it there. God bless your journey as you move forward. It doesn't mean that you were not good enough; maybe God just have something better for you.

[@sharesereed8168]

Essence is like a spokesperson for everything in my head that i have a hard time finding my own words for ❤️

[@msl5307]

"I'm used to not having a covering". WORD!

[@takeauthority30]

The biggest reason I stop dealing with men online was because there's a certain type of man who can't speak to women. That man needs to strengthens that muscle... The strength in leading and just being a man comes with having the confidence to just speak. There's a lot more to it but I pray men address their fears and insecurities so that more of us can meet.

[@jess_is]

THIS!

[@d.c.4706]

This comment right HERE!!!!!! Truth indeed!

[@kikib.4519]

I agree,most men don't know how to talk to women correctly and respectfully but most women are just justifying and accepting the disrespect.

[@SusanitaEfe]

It will be so amazing to watch an episode in the future with the 3 of you and your spouses.👌🏿 This episode was raw and lit!

[@nikkyshamz2696]

AMEN

[@acelove-un1ff]

Facts ... Love manifested🎉

[@siweskefile1705]

The way Essence looks at Jay, oh man

[@KingJayBarnett]

😳😳😳

[@siweskefile1705]

@@KingJayBarnett I'm just an observer Jay

[@alishaendre616]

I thought it was just me who noticed….

[@jeanettemontrose5246]

I thought it was just me 😂👀

[@roughpetals4061]

I said the same thing sis!

[@cims1ty640]

It’s curious to me that no one asked Essence how she felt regarding being recorded. The question was instead directed towards Jay. That was truly a vulnerable moment, I think, for both because there has to be a trust/ respect there to even have that conversation. Most people don’t assume they’re being recorded and certainly don’t expect to see it replayed in a public setting. Perhaps I’m missing it but I couldn’t help but notice her body language afterwards and wonder who was covering her in that moment.

[@toyajones2186]

Yess I would thought they would ask her but oh well

[@Nubiasquared]

Absolutely agree. She should’ve been told that she was going to be recorded but certainly not find out while in the middle of the interview. I’m disappointed that she wasn’t covered.

[@lydiaheelu2681]

Laterras mentioned in the podcast with Dee-1, and perhaps other episodes as, that he told Essence about it and she gave her him permission to share it publicly.

[@c.estmoi]

He did tell her. And she wanted him to use it on this pod. The original call happen from his previous episode with her season 3 ep. 300 i think.

[@cims1ty640]

@@lydiaheelu2681 okay didn’t know he told her. That’s good to know.

[@absolutetreasures6877]

I’m 💯 with Jay, I’m not shooting any shots, just like him, I want it to be organic. Just a hi to an organic conversation and maybe using discernment. That is my prayer. I’m so glad you all are back, Essence you are a friend in my head and Leterras, thank you, thank you. Pray we all find the love we’re hoping for and be the love for that individual. Again Jay is preaching, I don’t do social media. Let love happen organically and naturally.

[@j.o.y_aliba]

I was totally blushing when Latteras was speaking to Essence ☺️☺️😩😩😩 I totally covered my face…Wow that transparency😩😩 This is my best episode

[@zimkitastuurman6720]

I know right!

[@Bold4Christ]

Me too lol

[@karenmcgee1869]

Yessssss! So precious and endearing.

[@DearFutureWifey]

Me too! Lol.

[@karenmcgee1869]

@@DearFutureWifey that was sweet and honorable of you though. I admire that about you.

[@adrenna1973]

The beauty of relationships lies in interdependence. Knowing you have the capacity to do it on your own...but the gratitude of having a partner who says...you no longer have to...I got you.

[@afrikurl]

I thought it was creepy to record the conversation without her knowing it at first but when he explained it, I thought his intentions were kinda sweet. He’s a filmmaker. He captures special moments and tells the story through film. He wanted to record the moment, just in case she was wifey. They would have that moment to look back on.

[@DearFutureWifey]

Thank you for understanding. You get it!

[@20_20Perspectives]

The investment is you put yourself out there!! Don’t look at the outcome; look for the lessons. Don’t anticipate the blow; run through it!! Lean into it; It’s not rejection but redirection!! My Lord, what a way to look at that & similar scenarios!! Thank you Jay!!

[@jenniferscottstanislaus9980]

Bravo Latteras. What you did by showing your exchange with Essence is so brave and beautiful and I thank you so much for showing somthing that is so personal to you both. There so many men that would be so afraid to show that type of vulnerablity and I appreciate you so much for it. You three are amazing human beings and may God bless you all exceeding, abundently, above all you can ask hope or think.

[@DearFutureWifey]

Thank you so much!

[@Yukia76]

Clutching my pearls moment for real 😳

[@edenise07]

Amen!

[@daintiip6905]

I would love to hear the testimony/journey from someone who has been single for a long time (10+ years) and does not get any attention. I’ve heard you say to some of your guests, “it’s not for lack of attention as you’re a beautiful woman”. But there are many singles who do not get any. That is an unique journey of faith in singleness because you are literally depending on God when NOTHING is happening.

[@elmobabe09]

This is good sis! I’d love to hear these stories as well!

[@kiam.4468]

I feel like God is intentional in that, bc the attention can be a distraction which can separate you from purpose. It's a reminder to shift the focus back to whose preparing you for what's to come. God isn't worried about time, we are. He knows His word will not return to him void. We have to remember that 💞 and not grow weary.

[@daintiip6905]

@@kiam.4468 really really appreciate this!

[@daintiip6905]

@@elmobabe09 I’ve never heard or read about this angle yet.

[@womanofgod2948]

@@daintiip6905 Yesssss, I fall into the bracket of someone who has been single for 14+ years without getting attention and also not hearing from God. It can be very frustrating, but getting attention from the wrong person can derail you from your purpose. I would love to see more people with a testimony like mine

[@MoZart1920]

I'm not done with the episode yet, but this is SO profound!!! So many things that I could comment on, but I felt like I needed to share one specific thing. While in college - fully saved and sanctified - I was "waiting" for my husband. It seemed like every young man that gave me any attention or whatever caused me to internally scream-pray to God the famous phrase: "is this my husband?". Long story short... when I finally laid that entire posture down an old elementary school friend walked back into my life. After hanging out and becoming friends, I began to feel a shift. Since I did NOT want to go back to my old posture, I prayed and fasted for God to give me clarity. I did not want to feel anything if this person was not my husband. I believe on day 3 of my fast, I CLEARLY heard the Holy Spirit say that my friend was the one. The "click" was real; BUT, I cried tears of "not joy"... I felt a heaviness that day. It made no sense to me UNTIL 10 years into our marriage this year. To love and respect him as his wife has required more of me than I could have ever imagined! I have that moment as reference whenever it feels impossible. I KNOW that I sought the Lord and the "click" is there. However, this journey has been heavy and I believe that ONLY I could cover him the way that I have. I still love him even in his very human moments. I hope that this piece of my testimony helps someone. #OrdainedMarriage #ThereIsAClick #LiterallyMadeForHim #YouWillKnow

[@EOOgunro]

This was a good episode! The "shoot your shot" moment was actually an eye opener on how to let someone down but still treat them with dignity and respect and still caring for their heart/feelings.

[@aminahdean7468]

Yes!

[@joyo2898]

I was so surprised to see Laterras being vulnerable and living LIT 🔥. So proud of you brother and you will soon meet your queen!

[@DearFutureWifey]

Thank you.

[@winfridahbanda5739]

This podcast has taught me to own my story and be intentional and purposeful about my healing and growth. I thank God for leading me here🙌

[@terrialvarez2788]

Wow it was so interesting to see single men and a woman. How we should view dating, the trauma and all the baggage that we bring if we don't get counseling we come so jacked up. Once we allow God to help us and heal and some of the pain and he helped us through the rest. Wow I was blessed to hear the maturity i agreed with you all. Wow keep up the good work.

[@supermodeljaz6829]

“What I want is someone to see my soul and be like ‘And damn she straight!” 🌹🥰 I adore Essence,I know that’s right! I second that emotion.

[@emmanuelbuckland7258]

Jay Barnett a real dude... He sees through the smoke and mirrors and removes himself from the romanticism of vulnerability.... Vulnerability is not always this beautiful

[@TheWholeHealingHomie]

This right here should've been a master class or session at a heal conference. The transparency, spiritual maturity, &vulnerability. "I'm not responsible for the reciprocation, I'm responsible for the articulation". E.A. 🤞🏾🖤

[@DearFutureWifey]

Hey, that quote should be credited to the both of us. Lol. I started it and she finished it.

[@TheWholeHealingHomie]

@@DearFutureWifey Touchė you right. When I post you on my IG I got you 🤞🏾🤞🏾🤣 You know when Bishop Barnett, Evangelist E & Minister Laterras get together we liable get edges snatched, speak in tongues, & request CEUs🤣🤣🤣🤞🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾. Keep going!

[@cleaningcrew7310]

@s Perry That hit special!

[@leticawiley8356]

If I didn’t know that this was real, I would have thought this was not real. God bless you Laterras for the work that you are doing in front of the world. I know that had to be very difficult in the moment but also know that this has to be God leading you. This is truly a ministry and I know your walk will not only inspire others but give them the space to be vulnerable as well. I am sure after this episode a lot of people are going to Jesus and their journal to release. This was heavy. Will continue to pray for this podcast, you and your future wifey.

[@DearFutureWifey]

Thank you for recognizing the gravity of this moment.

[@georginacreighton9740]

We, that have been with you on this journey all recognised it Laterras; and we are healing and growing together.

[@DearFutureWifey]

@@georginacreighton9740 Amen

[@winfridahbanda5739]

Agreed

[@twelch0215]

Amen and very well said!

[@darisesanker6022]

This was my first episode and I'm so honored and blessed by it. Thank you to you all❤

[@mrznichy]

Essence is Tia and Tamera’s lost Triplet…

[@patriciascorner4686]

I'm so glad you had Essence back - such a lovely gentle soul! And she's right, we should let men know we don't feel the same way, and still empower them to shoot their shot at someone else. We never what a kind word / gesture can do in a person's life. "We become the answered prayer for the other." I felt that. I'm gonna borrow this ☺️.

[@kimberlyturner4065]

I just love Essence’s heart! I pray that the Lord blesses her with the one He has for her

[@thyrajoseph2720]

There's so much to unpack in this episode! But I'll just comment on Essence's response to Laterras. I liked how she took care in saying she wasn't interested in being more than a friend with Laterras. I also liked that she stayed true to her feelings and didn't try to convince herself that maybe she could grow to have those same feelings for him. If she wasn't secure in who she was, and wasn't desperate for a relationship, she probably would have gone along with him. That decision could have possibly hurt their friendship especially if it didn't escalate into anything. Laterras, rejection is a hard pill to swallow but you swallowed it gracefully. Getting mad, or refusing to continue a friendship with her would only reveal your immaturity. I believe in shooting your shot as long as you're ready to accept that your shot may not hit the target! There's a lot to learn from rejection. I've learned to not let rejection define who I am. I know the qualities I have so someone not seeing that is not a reflection of me. Another great season opener, Laterras! (I know I'm a year late, but it was still good..LOL) God bless your Kingdom Royale project. I pray it is a blessing to all the young men that are a part of it. I resonate with your letter because I too get excited when I think about my future husband. I can't wait to meet the one He kept for me until it was time. ❤

[@BabeRuthuk]

The reality is how you’ve approached Essence is how it should be done but we’ve deviated away from things so much. Kudos to you Laterras - I respect your boldness.

[@roea7846]

I love these 3 together. This is a real conversation that is needed. The authenticity of all 3 speaks volumes of the partner they will need in their lives. May God bless them with their soulmates.

[@bsolwazi2712]

Laterras, your transparency and your willingness to be vulnerable speaks volumes of your integrity and character!!! May God grant you the very desires of your ❤

[@DearFutureWifey]

Thank you so much!

[@stephaniecollins9202]

Tactician - a person who uses a carefully planned strategy to achieve a specific end.

[@kantricedorsey2873]

That was a perfect word she used!

[@womanofgod2948]

Two healed individuals who dealth with this in a mature, adult manner. I literally was holding my breath while he was 'shooting his shot' at Essence. She is a beautiful person, and it was done so gracefully. 🙌🏾💯 And for him to bring Essence back on the show and reveal to the public what he did, this is respect, honour and the power of Almighty God on a WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL!

[@DearFutureWifey]

It takes a healed woman like you to recognize everything you stated. Thank you for doing the work.

[@beat4broadway203]

I felt sooooo bad for Essence in this episode. It kinda feels like she got punk'd, but handled it with such grace and dignity.

[@DearFutureWifey]

She is perfectly fine. She knew about it before coming. Trust.

[@dawneshiaellerbe6765]

no she did not🤣

[@soniagarrick3627]

She looked upset. She said she didn’t know she was being recorded.

[@theamcghee3665]

Jay's facial expression when she said she was almost 50 was too funny. He had to catch himself. Lol

[@karensindisoparimwa6130]

😂

[@drsdestiny]

Did he say Phenom of a man?

[@BrandyNicoleChristian]

Essence you are in good company. I've learned from being that type of woman that it's ok that the pursuit isn't by just anyone. Know that you are for a specific type of someone. Your poetic personality is supposed to be a repellent for those that it isn't for. Accept it and love it. That's what I've done. I've found a level of freedom in the assurance that if I am who I am what's for me will be. Laterras I absolutely love the vulnerability you displayed. It's speaks volumes and I can't wait for you to get that which you seek. Jay I felt you so much when you spoke about the human part of you being accepted and not just being viewed from what you do. It was a great conversation as usual. Loved it all!

[@therelationshipzonet.r.z.2258]

Just an FYI... many of US(WOMEN) have always wanted MEN to HEAL. Oftentimes we've carried the BRUNT of the Healing process while men have been moving forward wrecking lives without real spoken(outward) accountability. So yes, J and L... healing is attractive because it allows a woman like myself to feel more comfortable in connecting.

[@lashundagladney5434]

Essence said what I said about a month ago to a guy…..I want and need a man to take his time and know me or a level that no one else knows

[@msvanessa8640]

That part!

[@trinawilliams4695]

This episode was the BEST ever. You have set a new standard in “ opening up” to others and being okay with the rejection. It has given us a new and clear understanding on the path we are supposed to be on as a future wifey. Thank you Sir for sharing. Thank you Essence for choosing class and dignity

[@DearFutureWifey]

Yes! Thank you!

[@designzbyjulez9838]

I love how he is being honest about his singleness. Woman do need a man who are emotionally and physically available!!!

[@lashungambrell6340]

This conversation is giving me life!! This the type of circle I want in my life. Meaningful, depth, sense of humor,, and iron sharpening conversations.

[@chania80]

This episode got real after the call footage. I applaud you Laterras for shooting your shot and sharing it with us. I have learned from this to graciously appreciate affection and be honest even when I don't feel the same way. This was an important lesson for us out here. Essence was loving and exhibited pure class. Jay, thank you for being a neutralizing presence and sharing your wisdom with us.

[@20_20Perspectives]

A mature and transparent conversation!! There are so many nuggets in this one. Thank you Laterras for sharing what shooting your shot looks like and thank you Essence for caring enough about your friend to respond honestly. At first I thought he was role playing. 🤗

[@twelch0215]

Right, I did too!

[@LaRennEstherTV1985]

This was beautiful!! She is protecting him and herself!!! Like she said, “ Never said never “! God can do all things!! This is beautiful!

That phone call had me glued to my chair. I'm taking notes from both sides, you guys handled it with grace and maturity.

[@tdavenport7539]

Your vulnerability was beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Essence, thank you for giving us a great reference of how to nuture our relationships with love, truth and compassion. Great episode.

[@CoachHC]

This was good and love the humor from all of you all. Essence has a powerful anointing on her, when she speaks I get chills. Blessings and Abundance to you all great podcast.

[@DearFutureWifey]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@nikkisbarberlounge4483]

I love the fact that Jay wants Lat to get out of his comfort zone…!! Sometimes God may have that one in your local library, social event or grocery store and you may have to be willing to step out and show your availability or just make eye contact and say hi. I think you should challenge yourself and try it at least once a week. Even though IG can give you a gist of a person I’m an organic person as well and like to see your personality in person

[@Narjahm]

The conversation between the both of them was so beautifully mature, bold, and transparent. So glad you shared this with everyone and thanks for this episode.

[@elizabethc9843]

Hey hey you all were so vulnerable to the core 🙈🙈 I was almost in tears watching you Laterras pick yourself up and must say only a person used by God will do this being so vulnerable. May God bring you the right one. God is truly with you 🙌🏾

[@KeepHealingSis]

Your raw transparency is refreshing and simultaneously healing for so many. The part of this episode that truly resonated with me was when Jay said, “You can’t have the presence of my body and then not have the presence of my soul.” And collectively you all said ... “Because my soul is my shortcomings, my emotions, my responses, my triggers … it contains all the things I’m still healing from.” I’m journaling that part and will meditate on it to go deeper within my own healing. So when I say you’re setting the captives free, I truly mean that. A continuous thank you for sharing your journey, most especially the uncomfortable parts. 🙏🏾

[@latoyabasden4725]

I completely feel this podcast! I am glad this was confirmation for me on multiple levels. The greatest lesson is the fact that in our singleness our Father reminds us of the need to be comfortable reaching out for someone else. In a marriage we need to be comfortable reaching to and for our partners like you reached to Essence! If we’re uncomfortable being vulnerable in that ability single, we most likely won’t be comfortable in marriage. I’m happy our Father is keeping us sharp by challenging us to practice it in our singleness.

[@dineoportiamagoro3212]

Laterras, thank you so much for your showing us that it is OK to step out of your comfort zone and be vulnerable and shoot your shot Great conversation as always - I've learnt so much from each one of you; and in the process I'm learning and discovering so much about myself. May God bless you for being a blessing to us

[@Mzzg]

It's refreshing to see and hear men show and talk about their feeling! You and Jay are helping so many men and I appreciate that. It's okay not to be okay❤

[@latiffany8682]

Listen Here.... THIS Season kicked off with a bang! Bravo to all of you! I shared this episode with several friends and Family! Keep seeking the Kingdom and being a light for all near and far! The process is Real but so is the HEALING! Thanks for keeping it L.I.T!

[@Womenswell022]

Strong words from sis Essence, "I am use to operating without a covering" that says a lot...

[@p31ChicaLove]

Watching this episode in the early morning and smiling, laughing, taking mental notes and saying quick prayers to God! This open and honest conversation amongst you three really blessed me❗️ Had to come back to say my heart is encouraged to wait on God ♥️ Thank you 😊

[@karenjackson5685]

I love how you explained how you felt and your delivery. Such a gentleman. I also love Essence's response as she respectively declined but was honest about how she feels about you and loves you as her friend. This was was an awesome episode and I pray you 2 remain good friends❤️

[@ba091579]

I’m so ready for Season 4 We singles are ready and taking notes. This was a great way to begin the season with Kingdom fellowship . 👑👑👑❤️❤️❤️👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@Sergie_babes]

Mannnn I'm telling you each episode keeps getting better. I absolutely love the vulnerability,honesty and rawness coming from you guys.

[@erickars2442]

I love the transparency Laterras when you said how you were feeling and Essence your response to him speaking to you. It was so much care and understanding! So awesome. Praying on that for myself. I'm glad you recorded it. I needed to see it.

[@marlenapetty7561]

I really appreciate your transparency and courage. Also commend you on your Obiedance and sharing your growth with us.. You don't know how healing this has been to me and for you as well. Please continue walking in your truth. God's definitely using you in your journey. Godblessings brother always

[@nikkiw5837]

This was another great episode. Jay's and Essence's episodes are 2 of my favorite...so many takeaways. The 3 of you could have your own show. You each bring such powerful perspectives and they compliment each other so well. Thank you Laterras for showing that vulnerability and the 'lesson in the rejection'. Thank you Essence for letting us see how to say no...gracefully and with explanation. This season is going to be phenomenal!!!

[@GodsGirlKesha]

All I can say is WOW!! This show was awesome. Thanks for your vulnerability and Essence is a class act. She spoke her truth with such grace and compassion. Learned a lot from this.

[@Michellehardyorg]

I love that Essence was so brave & understood being recorded. She could have been told ahead of time to get her permission, but she handled it so well. I love these shows & the honesty & vulnerability is fire.

[@misskim80]

I absolutely love the is podcast.. the level of transparency is unmatched and I enjoy listening and growing from the interviews and experience. Thank You Latarras for your journey it is healing others. 🙂

[@thegirlsclub24]

The balance of perspective in this episode is refreshing to hear. When Essence said she's used to be being uncovered I felt that in my soul.

[@cemplygloria6261]

Once again, thank you soooo much for allowing your vulnerability to show. This episode coupled with many others has allowed me to view rejection from a different perspective. I am a firm believer that ALL things that happened in my life will work for my good. Nothing in my life was was wasted.

[@cl7082]

Wow this is one of the dopest episode's ever. You all have great chemistry and the information shared was definitely received. Vulnerability is so hard but very necessary!

[@takeauthority30]

Yikesssss is he really calling her online.... I wouldn't like to be put on the spot like that. But it took a lot of courage. I knew He liked her too but I'm so proud of Essence....as women we have to be honest with men. Women need to know which men are for them and the ones that aren't. Be free enough to not settle.

[@sharonjonesa30]

My thought exactly. When he first interview her I could tell. I was so shocked to actually hear him shoot his shot.

[@takeauthority30]

He has a way in his journey....we will meet good ppl often but too often they're not for us.

[@DearFutureWifey]

I've been knowing her for over 10 years, so I knew it would be fine.

[@Womenswell022]

This is so good learning for me...God bless you for this tripartite true talk. Essence, I love the response, and LW for taking us through this learning.

[@Chanfb915]

This was awesome on all three parts. I appreciate all the honesty openness vulnerability and being candid. I can see how they all relate to my life/walk.

[@monicakincaid1942]

Great episode! The conversations were real and eye opening. Essence’s response blew my mind. She was gentle but truthful.

[@jr9941]

Being with someone during the "unshakeable" is key when connecting with someone. Thanks Jay for enlightening us on being careful of vibes. Never thought of it in that way.

[@srich28]

I learned a whole lot from this episode. I loved and appreciated Essence’s response that was caring and honest. I’ve been in that situation before and either felt that I shouldn’t say no bc he’s a good dude or that it would be awkward to converse with that person going forward. Again learned a lot from this episode ❤️

[@Shona_thecatalyst]

I felt this ♥️ in my soul. The level of vulnerability; thank you for sharing this with us.

[@msshawbear]

I can identify with Essence. I know who I am and I refuse to compromise. Thank you for sharing this. It is helping me even the more.

[@sylvietapos807]

Hello Laterras 👋, and welcome back! I didn't expect a new episode, so thank you! Thank you as well for focusing on singles for this season. I belong to this group, and as always, I am here, and I am open to continuing to learn, find confirmation, and grow. Thank you again for your service, and for being LIT. Now, back to watching this episode.

[@MsDee-xc8uc]

I really love this channel! My perspective on dating and marriage has been enlightened. I can't wait for my Kingdom husband!! 🙌🏿

[@adrianalizbette12]

Laterras ... Thank you so much for opening your heart with us. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽❤️ Showing us your life as it is as a single man, seeking the love of your life, praying for your future wife, preparing yourself emotionally, accepting your changes in life and above all, learning so many important things with all the people you invite to your podcast. Yes, sometimes it's not easy to share what we are going through in our day by day, but it's necessary to confront anything, speak up and do whatever we need to do, so we can keep moving forward. I'm glad I saw your podcast because those of us, who are single, and trying to live life in purpose, we are in the same boat as you. I don't know if I'm getting more demanding over the years or it's because of everything I've been through, that I'm just more cautious in choosing who I want in my life or it's both because I want to do God's will and not mine and I want my partner to do the same. I learned that God sees our intentions and interests in who we want and that's why He's taking His time because WE'RE ACKNOWLEDGING GOD FIRST THAN WHAT WE WANT. UUUH... JESUS!!! 🤯🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 I understood that nothing is easy for those who really want to be intentional in their lives and be intentional for the other person we want to love and share our lives. wow.... I am closing my night with hope, joy and knowing that God still has that special person for us. Thanks again. Blessings.

[@MariaGonzalez-wr4pe]

I am really enjoying these talks! Thank you for sharing a moment where you felt vulnerable and exposed. I think this is definitely an area that I have closed myself off to… Rejection but I loved what you and Essence said “ I am not responsible for reciprocation, I am responsible for articulation”. So good. 🙏