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Arnon Grunberg meets Deborah Feldman

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De Balie

De Balie

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 1 200
@la_sarito
@la_sarito 4 жыл бұрын
I can tell he is so impressed by her, AS AM I:. She is a brilliant woman.
@grasmereguy5116
@grasmereguy5116 6 ай бұрын
She's a fabulist. She made up lots of tales, about her own family and herself and her community, in her "memoir."
@la_sarito
@la_sarito 6 ай бұрын
​While one can understand the skepticism surrounding the accuracy of certain details in Feldman's portrayal of her Hasidic upbringing, it would be unjust to dismiss her work entirely as fabulism or fabrication. As an insider's account of an extremely insular community, some subjectivity and potential misremembering of childhood experiences are perhaps inevitable in memoir writing. However, the harsh restrictions and subjugation of women in fundamentalist Hasidic sects like Satmar have been well-documented by other sources as well. Feldman's courage to publicly share her personal journey of escaping that repressive world and reclaiming her autonomy has resonated powerfully with many readers. While reasonable individuals can debate the veracity of certain anecdotes, the core narrative of Feldman breaking free from an extremely sheltered, patriarchal environment rings true. Her intelligence, articulate speaking ability, and determination to pursue a self-directed life lend credibility to her accounts. Assessing complete factual accuracy from the outside is undoubtedly difficult. However, we should not entirely disregard Feldman's memoir as fabricated tales. It seems to capture an authentic, if imperfectly recounted, depiction of her escape from a cloistered world that most cannot fathom. Her story has opened many eyes to the struggles some face in closed religious communities. SHE IS BRILLIANT, NEVERTHELESS...
@mimiepyykkonen760
@mimiepyykkonen760 4 жыл бұрын
She is a very intelligent young lady to speak numerous languages & have an enormous vocabulary. She has accomplished a lot in a short time.
@janecoe9407
@janecoe9407 2 жыл бұрын
she is very well spoken and educated.
@Leif208
@Leif208 Жыл бұрын
@@janecoe9407 How is she well educated?
@andrear7181
@andrear7181 8 ай бұрын
She is so stupid that she won´t publish in english till Trump is in the White House, like if Trump cares about it.
@MrEurolaf
@MrEurolaf 4 жыл бұрын
I enjoyed this whole talk. She is an amazing person.
@jamesr1703
@jamesr1703 4 жыл бұрын
In the comment section, many people are disliking the interviewer. 1) English is not his first language. 2) His direct style is European and not rude. 3) Believe it or not, he does, in fact, have rapport with the interviewee. This is a very real and raw interview. Nothing is withheld and the mark of a good interviewer is not to make the interviewee 'feel comfortable' but rather, to push the envelope to get the real answers that we as the audience are looking for.
@silviapavani-devisser1150
@silviapavani-devisser1150 4 жыл бұрын
I'd say it his direct style (and a bit pushy-rude) is typically Dutch
@Janis.7-
@Janis.7- 4 жыл бұрын
She’s obviously enjoying his interview style. They have great rapport and I don’t know why ppl can’t see it.
@steafra
@steafra 4 жыл бұрын
@@silviapavani-devisser1150 I was going to write the same ;-) (Dutch partner, about 20 years of interaction with The Netherlands and Dutch people, they are lovely but diplomacy is an optional most of them do not come with)
@sscott6122
@sscott6122 4 жыл бұрын
I completely agree! I thought he did a great job. I got the feeling they knew each other prior to the interview. She did not seem off putted by any of his questions.
@Etatdesiege1979
@Etatdesiege1979 4 жыл бұрын
Exactly. This is not a 5 minute spot at a late night show or a talk show in the USA, where they make sure that everything is well, kosher, so to speak.
@kellyreilly-robinson2130
@kellyreilly-robinson2130 3 жыл бұрын
I find her so incredibly resilient and fascinating
@andrear7181
@andrear7181 8 ай бұрын
I think her language and words show she is bitter and resented. I don´t support the ortodox community, but this women went from one extrem to the fanatics of the intelectual class of NY and Europe.
@paweltrawicki2200
@paweltrawicki2200 5 жыл бұрын
Fantastic,She had me glued to everything that she spoke about.Fantastic mind.
@cherylreuter4008
@cherylreuter4008 4 жыл бұрын
She amazes me, the fact that she can identify these feelings from such an early age!!!
@reelaiahisrael1067
@reelaiahisrael1067 4 жыл бұрын
Most helpful and interesting. I liked the interviewer in his honest approach. Because I was also involved in an extreme fringe religious group Ms. Feldman's experience has opened my heart. Thank you.
@yveqeshy
@yveqeshy 4 жыл бұрын
This was a really good interview, they both seemed to be having a good time and he asks questions that allow her to further talk about her story in a lengthier manner
@MrKulturembargo
@MrKulturembargo 4 жыл бұрын
You are so smart! When I first saw, that this is 1h 40mins long, I would not have imagined how entertaining and informative this would be up until the end. Thx alot. Personally helped me :)
@altinokz
@altinokz 4 жыл бұрын
What an amazing interview! So well done! I congratulate Deborah on her efforts to find her identity and to articulate her thoughts so well with total respect and compassion to the community she left. We as humans are responsible for the way these people force this lifestyle onto themselves. It is time for the entire world to realize who Jewish people really are and how devoted most of them to God! More than many of us could imagine. Be kind to a Jew 👼🏻
@clarestewart3085
@clarestewart3085 4 жыл бұрын
Unorthodox was an Absolutely incredible show, amazing actors, Deborah your writing is incredible and I thank you for sharing.
@lainefrajberg813
@lainefrajberg813 4 жыл бұрын
It was also full of lies,half truths,omissions,and evasions.
@clarestewart3085
@clarestewart3085 4 жыл бұрын
Laine Frajberg in your opinion?
@lainefrajberg813
@lainefrajberg813 4 жыл бұрын
@@clarestewart3085 No.In the opinion of people who actually knew her when she was part of the community. For instance,her claim that a 13 year old hassidic boy was murdered by his father for mastubating is an outright lie.The police who investigated the incident revealed that the person was actually a 20 year old man who commited suicide.And many others. Note:I despise Satmar,especially its eminent rabbi,Joel Teitelbaum.And I don't fault her,or anyone else ,for leaving it.But writing a memoir full of lies,half truths,and omissions isn't the way to go about it.
@clarestewart3085
@clarestewart3085 4 жыл бұрын
I’m not really sure why you are singling my comment out in all of these others that are also in awe of what a great writer this lady is. There are clearly some issues you need to address with her not me. So I suggest you do that and why not have a word with Netflix as well who I think might have done some research before agreeing to fund the making of the series so you can give them the power of your wisdom!
@andriaspindel9570
@andriaspindel9570 4 жыл бұрын
The book is harsher, more real than the film.
@celiabarker
@celiabarker 4 жыл бұрын
What an intelligent articulate woman. By far the most interesting interview I have watched in six weeks of lockdown (despite him). Thank you.
@petervermeer8659
@petervermeer8659 Жыл бұрын
Despite him? Despite whom? What do you mean?
@e.marker1989
@e.marker1989 4 жыл бұрын
Anyone else here because of home isolation and finally having enough time to watch all the programs you wanted to watch for a long time? Amazing how Deborah survived all the brain washing and discovered "Lebensfreude"/ joie de vivre/ the joy to be alive at the other end.
@busterbobby
@busterbobby 4 жыл бұрын
Oach Katzl Yes, exactly.
@tanyaRmonteiro
@tanyaRmonteiro 4 жыл бұрын
Yes and Yes! Thank goodness for the second yes, Deborah is an inspiration
@Anna-tj7mp
@Anna-tj7mp 4 жыл бұрын
Caught us out... ! But it was more I have just seen Unorthodox.
@iar1009
@iar1009 4 жыл бұрын
German villainous still causes suffering generations on
@jorgerabinovich2772
@jorgerabinovich2772 4 жыл бұрын
wwwbreslev.co.il😊 BRESLEV ENGLISH Jerusalem israel B"H RABINO YONATAN D GALED!!!!! Shalom en todo el mundo y Mashiaj yá el VERDADERO y por PRIMERA VEZ y que se reconstruya el Beit Hamikdash.
@JazDickinson1
@JazDickinson1 4 жыл бұрын
I saw Unorthodox a couple days algo and was unbelievable. I need to read her books.
@gailalbers1430
@gailalbers1430 4 жыл бұрын
same here- she is such a brilliantly minded woman, fascinating. All the shame she is overcoming is amazing ; i wish her all the best !
@luukdeboer1974
@luukdeboer1974 4 жыл бұрын
Even my children want to read the book after seeing unorthodox
@oopsiedaisy9026
@oopsiedaisy9026 4 жыл бұрын
It was a cool series, but I read have to wonder why Polly was cut out?
@jorgerabinovich2772
@jorgerabinovich2772 4 жыл бұрын
@@luukdeboer1974 wwwbreslev.co.il😊 BRESLEV ENGLISH Jerusalem israel B"H RABINO YONATAN D GALED!!!!!! Shalom en todo el mundo y Mashiaj yá el VERDADERO y por PRIMERA VEZ y que se reconstruya el Beit Hamikdash.
@jorgerabinovich2772
@jorgerabinovich2772 4 жыл бұрын
wwwbreslev.co.il😊BRESLEV ENGLISH Jerusalem israel B"H RABINO YONATAN D GALED!!!!!! Shalom en todo el mundo y Mashiaj yá el VERDADERO y por PRIMERA VEZ y que se reconstruya el Beit Hamikdash.
@elisabethm.deboer9597
@elisabethm.deboer9597 4 жыл бұрын
For Dutch audiences Arnon Grünberg is a familiar figure. He has been a fixture of the Dutch literary scene since his debut novel Blue Monday’s came out when he was 18 years old. He has won many literary prizes and is more known as a writer and opinion maker than as an interviewer. Extreme directness is a typically Dutch feature and here it is even stronger as he clearly feels an intra-Jewish bond as two people who both grew up under the shadow of the Holocaust. (Both of his parents, who had him and his sister at an advanced age, were in Auschwitz, if I remember correctly. I even think it may have been where they met, but I would have to check.) This as a partial answer to all the stunned reactions by non-Dutch people to his style. I saw it as sibling-like rivalry stemming from shared experience.
@elisabethm.deboer9597
@elisabethm.deboer9597 4 жыл бұрын
I have to correct myself. His mother was in Auschwitz, not his father. His father was much older than his mother and was a refugee from Germany.
@TonySlug
@TonySlug 3 жыл бұрын
Mr. Grünberg also has a propensity towards displaying staggering levels of blinkered political correctness in public, that one might argue border on self hatred. Especially pertaining to multi culturalism.
@karmelicanke
@karmelicanke Жыл бұрын
@@TonySlug He certainly seemed offended by Ms Feldman's comment that he looks like a Yeshiva boy and stated that he believes he passes as white or Caucasian.
@TonySlug
@TonySlug Жыл бұрын
@@karmelicanke Mr. Grunberg has been quite vocal about his opinions pertaining to the Moroccan population in the Netherlands, citing them as "the Jews of yesteryear" suggesting Moroccan communities are subject of discrimination similar to the antisemitism experienced during the nazi occupation of Holland. I personally disagree with that. Vehemently.
@karinkuchler
@karinkuchler Жыл бұрын
I would say it is more courtship than sibling library. Intellectually quite smoldering.
@bluesunset245
@bluesunset245 4 жыл бұрын
"It's all about him." It's truth underlying what some comments here are calling "friendly banter." I think her sense of a figure wanting to exercise power over her is extremely sharp. She said it herself at some point when they talked about power and people wanting to exert power over another and as protection, "that's why I have you."
@hedvikatrott4172
@hedvikatrott4172 4 жыл бұрын
It’s so obvious that they both having so much fun through out the interview, I enjoyed this interview and I must disagree with comments about him being rude etc
@christianbernardsinger
@christianbernardsinger 4 жыл бұрын
An incredible story and so brave, yet she has come out of it grateful. Fascinating and inspiring - this was so worth watching.
@lucasgdrezes
@lucasgdrezes 4 жыл бұрын
I loved this! I will definitely be reading her book. Deborah speaks with such eloquence and wit. I could listen to her talk all day.
@monicavivendoemla5537
@monicavivendoemla5537 4 жыл бұрын
Deborah, you are an amazing woman. I watched the series on Netflix and, I will read the book. This interview shows how a nice complex human being you are as it is our life and you show us that we can do everything to find our path. Nice to meet you!
@fomorians
@fomorians 3 жыл бұрын
I am in awe of her. And I absolutely loved the friendly banter between Arnon and Deborah, it's so refreshing, especially considering how sheltered she was growing up, she is totally at ease with him. They vibe.
@chrismclaughlin3196
@chrismclaughlin3196 4 жыл бұрын
Re: the comments about Grunberg, I think he is limited by his need to control, and that's a fascinating subtext to this interview. He is not a good listener, always looking ahead to his papers. I wonder about the way they are distanced at the table (almost 6 feet apart). The water is closer to him, out of her reach. And he has a head mic set while she has to hold a mic: perhaps a table mic would seem more even footing. So interesting. But still she rises...
@elisabethm.deboer9597
@elisabethm.deboer9597 4 жыл бұрын
She preferred a handheld mic.
@welldone1877
@welldone1877 4 жыл бұрын
So interesting.... and look also how the grain in the wood is flowing in his direction... coincidence? my inner intellectual thinks not.
@trashleigh87
@trashleigh87 4 жыл бұрын
I kind of settled into this guys style by half-way through. She's wonderful.
@twinkle2679
@twinkle2679 4 жыл бұрын
Fascinating interview, I am so looking forward to reading her books. I am not a religious person, but I was raised Catholic and went to parochial school until 6th grade. I find the study of religion extraordinary, especially when the focus is on how it affects the believer, how they see themselves in the world.
@maryfrancesbeckerhaggerty5353
@maryfrancesbeckerhaggerty5353 3 жыл бұрын
This is one of the most interesting interview/documentaries I have ever watched. I stumbled upon this completely by accident and I am so glad I did. What a remarkable and courageous woman. I can't wait to buy and read her books. And I love the flirtatious banter between these two. Great job!
@lauratroi3324
@lauratroi3324 3 жыл бұрын
she is so eloquent, she is amazing
@chantalharris8502
@chantalharris8502 3 жыл бұрын
I’m listening to this 4 years after it was done and finds it totally breath taking. Her intelligence is magnetic. I’m not Jewish but her human story speaks louder than any religion can teach. I sent the link to my granddaughters to hear because your intellectual freedom cannot be compromised. I don’t know you but I love you remember “God is love”.
@TheNYCndn
@TheNYCndn 6 жыл бұрын
I'm a former Williamsburg resident and lived two blocks from the community. I kinda knew but damn...I guess I really didn't know. Brilliant and brave this woman is. Marvelous.
@bloopblooper490
@bloopblooper490 6 жыл бұрын
What did you know? What do others know about your community?
@zenodotusofathens2122
@zenodotusofathens2122 5 жыл бұрын
You knew nothing and are still clueless.
@joannmhunter6591
@joannmhunter6591 4 жыл бұрын
there are so many brilliant things to take away from this young woman. So much of what she says and speaks about are so poignant and to the point. I loved her politics 1:08:47-1:11:43!!! Thank you for this.
@Sikosm
@Sikosm 4 жыл бұрын
Fascinating interview. I loved the banter back and forth with the interviewer. Unlike what many of the comments suggest, I think they had a great rapport. He is clearly very Dutch!
@lynda.grace.14
@lynda.grace.14 4 жыл бұрын
I suspect so. The essence of the book The Culture Map which addresses different cultural styles.
@lionsnow9
@lionsnow9 4 жыл бұрын
What an utterly brilliant woman.
@andreiameleiro
@andreiameleiro 4 жыл бұрын
lionsnow9 That was my feeling too - she is very bright
@shortmaple37
@shortmaple37 4 жыл бұрын
it comes from te ultra ortdox base
@lauren8788
@lauren8788 4 жыл бұрын
are you serious? She's a moron; an absolute brain dead moron.
@lanazh2443
@lanazh2443 3 жыл бұрын
@@lauren8788 a moron because she says the truth as one who been inside of the cult?
@janecoe9407
@janecoe9407 2 жыл бұрын
she is briliant.
@pattiehoffman6078
@pattiehoffman6078 4 жыл бұрын
This was fabulous and fascinating! I loved them both. She is brilliant.
@janecoe9407
@janecoe9407 2 жыл бұрын
she is very intelligent and well spoken.
@TheCerealluvr
@TheCerealluvr 4 жыл бұрын
Amazing interview. Really wonderfully given and just wow. Deborah Feldman is incredible.
@vaunniethayer1484
@vaunniethayer1484 4 жыл бұрын
One of the shocking things about the Holocaust is how poorly the surviving Jews were treated . Back in the day there was no support , they were expected to just move forward, forget about it and they did. But the price they paid and their descendants paid. We understand more and more about mental health issues now, so it is hard to imagine how these people managed. It would seem that this was one way, to double down and become the most rigid and conservative in their religious beliefs.
@mugwump9131
@mugwump9131 4 жыл бұрын
D Di P completely tone deaf response.
@crackerackadingdong
@crackerackadingdong 3 жыл бұрын
*become the most passionate and true in their religious beliefs
@kellyo7013
@kellyo7013 3 жыл бұрын
I love listening to her speak and she has this amazing ability to describe here life experiences.
@nosheenmajeed471
@nosheenmajeed471 4 жыл бұрын
She is funny, direct with a dry sense of humour. Very interesting interview.
@nikolinac.4237
@nikolinac.4237 4 жыл бұрын
She is amazing and so interesting. Unfortunately this guy, Arnon, is really not right person for this job!
@innertuna1
@innertuna1 4 жыл бұрын
Nikolina C. Annoying accent and talking more than the author :(
@robyngrenside5157
@robyngrenside5157 4 жыл бұрын
I agree totally with you...I was 'gobsmacked' on many occasions throughout interview...Kudos to Deborah Feldman and her good manners and fine intelligence, she handled the 'silly man' with grace.....I am a big fan of Deborah Feldman
@Janis.7-
@Janis.7- 4 жыл бұрын
This is a fascinating interview. She loves it. Do you want a namby pamby American style interview? God forbid
@Janis.7-
@Janis.7- 4 жыл бұрын
@@innertuna1 racist much ?
@Janis.7-
@Janis.7- 4 жыл бұрын
@@innertuna1 some think your accent is annoying
@arongamman9360
@arongamman9360 4 жыл бұрын
Some are complaining about the interviewer and I admit I don't see it. He does seem uncomfortable at times near the beginning thus makes Deborah respond in kind, but things balanced out by the end. I learned a lot..
@olgabarasoain
@olgabarasoain 4 жыл бұрын
That was an awesome interview. Thank you!
@mariannenimon2746
@mariannenimon2746 4 жыл бұрын
A brilliant & beautiful mind & someone I would love to emulate despite being old enough to be her mother! I could listen to Deborah Feldman all day long & I cannot wait to read her books!!!
@Hollis_has_questions
@Hollis_has_questions 3 жыл бұрын
The Chosen by Chaim Potok delves deeply into the study of Talmud, one of the aspects of that book that I love. Books, study, research, and disputation are very important in my life, too. My parents spoke Yiddish but never wanted me to learn it, although some few words are still in my vocabulary. Only now do I appreciate its richness. I tell people that Yiddish is one of the best languages for cursing, and the internet is full of websites about the language.
@emikiwi
@emikiwi 4 жыл бұрын
For everyone who thinks the interviewer is rude - in my experience he is just typically Dutch, ie very direct or even blunt and with a dry humour, but no intention of rudeness behind the words. If you spend any amount of time with Dutch people, you quickly learn to expect their unvarnished opinions and not to take things personally! Also don't forget what be deemed rude or inappropriate in one language or culture is not necessarily so in others.
@luizalemos7140
@luizalemos7140 4 жыл бұрын
Its not only that, he also doesn't show any empathy with her situation, treating her like an alien
@Citizenesse8
@Citizenesse8 4 жыл бұрын
I do understand what you're illustrating but I do not feel this is that, the normative Dutch straightforwardness. This is clumsy and rude.
@emmyc80
@emmyc80 4 жыл бұрын
I am sure all the comments about the man being “rude” are from those living in the US or Canada. I live in Germany and this is how everyone talks. I think Americans and Canadians are just use to/expect people to be “friendly”
@evcotter08
@evcotter08 4 жыл бұрын
She gives as good as she gets, but yeah, he definitely comes off as a bit rude. And she can definitely tell he’s into the sex bits, even though he denies it.
@lauren8788
@lauren8788 4 жыл бұрын
He's not at all rude; however, she is a pompous idiot.
@annahassid1697
@annahassid1697 4 жыл бұрын
Fascinating interview with a remarkable women. I disagree with all the comments that the interviewer was rude or somehow unsympathetic. He isn’t a therapist; he’s an interviewer. In the context of a book about this very closed community and the personal restrictions and pain of a young woman who lived within it, his questions elicited captivating details from her. It helped explain why she left and why she wrote a book in the first place. More people will now want to read her books and/or watch the movie. Well done interview.
@edenjazz12
@edenjazz12 4 жыл бұрын
This woman is BRILLIANT. Truly in the realm of genius. I’m in awe.
@brysiax3
@brysiax3 3 жыл бұрын
I thought this would be a long watch, but I didn't feel the passage of time at all! Great talk, clarifies so many things after watching Unorthodox. I have to read the book!
@dwestwest3758
@dwestwest3758 4 жыл бұрын
I am thinking he actually is a good interviewer Well prepared, good questions This was enlightening While good books she has written, it is good to hear the true reality of her experiences Thank you
@annab9994
@annab9994 4 жыл бұрын
Agree 👍🏻
@baerlauchstal
@baerlauchstal 4 жыл бұрын
Hoffentlich werden Sie eines Tages diese Kommentare lesen, Deborah. Ich weiß nicht, ob ich genug Deutsch gelernt habe, um Ihr neues Buch zu lesen; aber mir hat "Unorthodox" so viel gefallen, dass ich es versuchen muss. Sie sind eine wunderbare Autorin.
@fiefvanrossem227
@fiefvanrossem227 4 жыл бұрын
🇨🇦 Deborah, you are amazing, love how you were able to control this interview, well done !!!!
@laurachoueri7401
@laurachoueri7401 4 жыл бұрын
This is one of the most interesting interviews i have listened to -I would love to meet Deborah Feldman....brilliant mind !
@giselestrauch5146
@giselestrauch5146 5 жыл бұрын
I feel that deborah has made it ok to deal with issues that hard to speak about in judasim.
@velvet2406
@velvet2406 4 жыл бұрын
Glad that this lovely lady started writing and journalism from a young age.....she Clearly found her career calling and had the courage to follow it with extra purpose.
@anaktrina
@anaktrina 4 жыл бұрын
She did therapy. I hear it from her speech and from the awareness she has on what happened. Which it’s great!
@dumalun8388
@dumalun8388 4 жыл бұрын
Are you kidding me?? Lol
@leslieyoung7859
@leslieyoung7859 4 жыл бұрын
It is obvious why Feldman had to make an exodus from her cult community. She is an highly intelligent woman even with little in the way of a formal, secular education. It must have been an extraordinarily stifling existence for her, living as a Satmar Jewish woman. As a Reform Jew, I find her story a fascinating parallel to all the other ultra religious sects (Christian, Muslim, etc) to which she aptly refers. The Satmar ultra-orthodox also have some uncomfortable similarities to Margaret Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tale." I am inspired by her strength to live life on her own terms.
@karinagalet55
@karinagalet55 4 жыл бұрын
I like her so much! Such a brave, intelligent and lovely person :)
@traceysanfordemmanuel7704
@traceysanfordemmanuel7704 4 жыл бұрын
Incredible interview! I gained so much knowledge.
@ritaruchlin900
@ritaruchlin900 4 жыл бұрын
I thought it was excellent interview!!! Maybe I am used to European style, it was very warm and relaxed.
@sambo9796
@sambo9796 4 жыл бұрын
I found it a fantastic conversation much better than English interviews. It’s more real
@emmyc80
@emmyc80 4 жыл бұрын
Me too, however there are so many silly comments saying the man was rude..
@annab9994
@annab9994 4 жыл бұрын
It was indeed 😉
@carpediemsrce
@carpediemsrce 3 жыл бұрын
I am European so I am used to this style and it actually makes for a deeper conversation 🤔 (or am I wrong?).
@sasitamin
@sasitamin 4 жыл бұрын
Ik weet het niet wie verantwoordelijk is voor de keuze van Arnon maar , dit is een grote fout! Respect voor zijn werk maar hiervoor ?Neen! Keep on writing Arnon and leave this kind of things to people that are good in.🌻 Deborah, real lady! Bravo 🌹
@lilafeldman8630
@lilafeldman8630 4 жыл бұрын
This is the 5th story I've heard since this month, of Jewish women leaving arranged marriages and becoming lesbians....the things we learn during quarantine.
@eliadedorne
@eliadedorne 4 жыл бұрын
Lila Feldman oh really... would you mind sending me more stories so interested
@Nancy20012
@Nancy20012 4 жыл бұрын
Lila no one becomes a lesbian, obviously the women you are referring to were closeted lesbians all along
@Nancy20012
@Nancy20012 4 жыл бұрын
@Be Holden Well it would be extremely hard for a person to change their sexuality this radically because of a failed marriage or previous traumatic relationships. If this was the case the number of homosexuals as a proportion of the general population would be much higher than what it is now. Think of all the people with a history of a divorce or one or several bad relationships.
@Nancy20012
@Nancy20012 4 жыл бұрын
@Be Holden 2 people that you know doesn't prove anything either. we are talking about large numbers as a social phenomenon.
@lilafeldman8630
@lilafeldman8630 4 жыл бұрын
I found 4 other stories on KZbin. They are all stories of women who were Orthodox, and forced to marry very young. They had little to no teaching in sex, and had no feelings for their husbands. Then they had tons of kids in a row. They were either abused, or their depression got so bad (usually the case) that they had to check themselves in for treatment. During treatment, they came out as gay. It seems to me that their marriages were so unhealthy for them. They weren't emotionally whole, never had a chance to explore who they really were, before they were in too deep.
@anncassanocomedy
@anncassanocomedy 4 жыл бұрын
She is one brilliant and courageous woman, and a courageous writer. It's impressive how she managed to find this compassion and serenity with the trauma she went through. I found it funny, the way she seems to have decided to speak her mind in whatever situation and how she tells Grunberg exactly how she feels about him. If the Hassidic community and neo-nazi's can't shut her up, poor Grunberg certainly didn't stand a chance :)
@robertoa.m.3984
@robertoa.m.3984 4 жыл бұрын
Ann Cassano .....brilliant commentary! I wholeheartedly agree!
@Agnieszka11102
@Agnieszka11102 4 жыл бұрын
One time i was lost in Williamsburg and end up in the ultra orthodox community they were so mean i started to cry nobody helped i went to jewelry store the lady kicked me out. Horrible experience.
@congraciaysalud
@congraciaysalud 4 жыл бұрын
I also got lost once in Williamsburg. My experience was different, we (a friend and I) even got a ride to the train stop, in retrospect we were stupid to get in a car with a man we didn't know.
@Janis.7-
@Janis.7- 4 жыл бұрын
Antisemite
@rose4490
@rose4490 4 жыл бұрын
@@Janis.7- how is it anti-semitic for her to tell her story?
@lporquai9048
@lporquai9048 4 жыл бұрын
@@Janis.7- not really true when she's just telling her experience... I think your being a tad defensive here
@Janis.7-
@Janis.7- 4 жыл бұрын
@@lporquai9048 how can I be defensive when I’m not Jewish ?
@bbbrunella
@bbbrunella 3 жыл бұрын
As an American, it is absolutely possible to renounce your citizenship and give up your American passport. i have no idea why she said its not possible.
@emale03
@emale03 2 жыл бұрын
Deborah is exemplary as a speaker and writer. Unbelievably brave.
@davehigginson6126
@davehigginson6126 2 жыл бұрын
She’s emotionally disturbed and suffering from an inferiority complex. She’s exaggerated the negative experiences she had growing up in her orthodox community so that she can justify completely leaving it and instead recreate a new identity of the ones she has had an abnormal infatuation, the Germans. I can’t understand why this isn’t more obvious to everyone.
@dmikaels2199
@dmikaels2199 3 жыл бұрын
Very intelligent and brave woman . I am way more impressed listening to her after watching the movie Unorthodox. Brilliant young woman!
@dianapashkovich7327
@dianapashkovich7327 4 жыл бұрын
Such highly intelligent woman. Would love to read more from her
@me_am_cat
@me_am_cat 3 жыл бұрын
I could listen to Deborah Feldman all day. Looking forward to reading the book.
@anastazjaanastazja6812
@anastazjaanastazja6812 4 жыл бұрын
She is such an inteligent woman... interview is really interesting, but interviewer is sooo annoying!
@bosteye
@bosteye 3 жыл бұрын
Yes, I found him very controlling and rude the way he'd cut her off in mid sentence.
@AnnaBlueStar
@AnnaBlueStar 4 жыл бұрын
Great interview thank you
@peterlafayette5595
@peterlafayette5595 5 жыл бұрын
You young lady are a remarkable women. Your articulation of explanations is so interesting and intense.
@gracebatarseh1504
@gracebatarseh1504 4 жыл бұрын
You are a role model. The best series I have watched in my entire life. You did an outstanding job.! You deserve an Oscar.
@etheleh5115
@etheleh5115 Жыл бұрын
AH, this interview is about her books not the Netflix series.She did not act in it. Please read her books.
@zackslabs
@zackslabs 4 жыл бұрын
thoroughly enjoyed this interview and your views on individualism
@qf1150
@qf1150 4 жыл бұрын
Arnon Grunberg is quite bad as an interviewer. Many of his remarks are completely out of place. An interviewer is not expected to voice his personal opinions during an interview.
@robyngrenside5157
@robyngrenside5157 4 жыл бұрын
If Deborah was*nt so interesting I would have skipped this...some of his remarks were rude and very bad mannered,.
@Janis.7-
@Janis.7- 4 жыл бұрын
Are you mad ? She’s thoroughly enjoying this interview and so are many others, including me.
@elisabethm.deboer9597
@elisabethm.deboer9597 4 жыл бұрын
It may be a cultural difference between Europe and the US. I, for instance, am often annoyed by American interviewers who only seem to ask questions that enable authors to place their 'product'. As if they have signed a contact in advance on what they can ask or comment on and what not.
@Sikosm
@Sikosm 4 жыл бұрын
They're having a conversation. It's not just question/answer/question/answer. Are you American, by any chance? Interview styles in other countries don't follow the same formula or expectations. While he definitely displays the trademark Dutch bluntness, he is not being rude and they clearly had a great rapport. You can tell she enjoyed the banter.
@expomm
@expomm 4 жыл бұрын
Fully agree!
@KS-op5hb
@KS-op5hb 4 жыл бұрын
her commentary is fantastic but so wish a different person was interviewing her. I can't help but pick up either an ackwardness between them or low level vitriol. Some strange subtext that is making this interview difficult to watch but I so want to hear her insights.
@palladin331
@palladin331 4 жыл бұрын
The strange subtext you perceive is sexual. But note that both of them perpetuated the banter.
@KS-op5hb
@KS-op5hb 4 жыл бұрын
@@palladin331 I do agree it is mutual. Perhaps that is why it makes me uncomfortable even more so....
@koenkeep
@koenkeep 4 жыл бұрын
@@KS-op5hb Yes flirting might be uncomfortable to you, but i assure you they enjoyed each other's company.
@elisabethm.deboer9597
@elisabethm.deboer9597 4 жыл бұрын
To me it made the interview more interesting. I doubt it is possible to find a more interesting interview with her.
@Thrifty-Gal
@Thrifty-Gal 4 жыл бұрын
Excellent interview, loved the Netflix mini series Unorthodox based on her book.
@calenit52
@calenit52 4 жыл бұрын
I watched Unorthodox and found it so interesting. Got very curious about a group of people I know nothing about. This woman, her level of self awareness and insight!!!! Amazing!! Intelligent, brave, so evolved. Loved the interview. I am totally motivated to read her books and hear more of her life experiences and insights.
@damonchampion823
@damonchampion823 3 жыл бұрын
What an amazing, fascinating individual. Very informative and inspiring
@bitashadi
@bitashadi 4 жыл бұрын
Arnon was a terrible interviewer. Deborah was so great explaining everything. Kudos to her.
@fiefvanrossem227
@fiefvanrossem227 4 жыл бұрын
🇨🇦 totally agree with you!!
@gailalbers1430
@gailalbers1430 4 жыл бұрын
she is so superior intellectually, articulate and incisive it’s difficult to see her as the cowed and looked down-upon victim she was in the hasdic community she grew up in .
@andriaspindel9570
@andriaspindel9570 4 жыл бұрын
He talks about going to pages of the book, rather then going to “her life” which is not just pages in a book. He lacks empathy.
@vanessavimala8096
@vanessavimala8096 4 жыл бұрын
I disagree. He drew out a great interview and she filled it skillfully, beautifully with fascinating content.
@expomm
@expomm 4 жыл бұрын
The guy is the worst interviewer ever!,
@silvertrees6326
@silvertrees6326 4 жыл бұрын
Great woman, and she is going to do far more than she could image. The interviewer is obnoxious and good for this great writer and for sharing her knowledge.
@selimae8539
@selimae8539 4 жыл бұрын
It's really remarkable. Here, she sounds like a German speaking English yet in another interview that took place in New York, she has a clearly American accent. It's like listening to two different people.
@Elena-pl1de
@Elena-pl1de 4 жыл бұрын
I thought that too.
@sarafornasiero9648
@sarafornasiero9648 4 жыл бұрын
I think it is because Jiddish is close to German
@hannahchernoff6312
@hannahchernoff6312 4 жыл бұрын
Yes, I noticed that too. Wonder why?
@ChooseU4ever
@ChooseU4ever 4 жыл бұрын
Selima E in another interview she did say she adopts accents very quickly.
@rosaespinalduras5356
@rosaespinalduras5356 4 жыл бұрын
Did I misunderstand her? She says she didn't speak English until she went to college. I grew up in Williamsburg as a non-jew and they all spoke English. Obviously, Yiddish was dominant but they all communicated with us non-jews.
@shlmel
@shlmel Жыл бұрын
Her story is so young. I’d like to see her in an interview when she’s 60 years old. How will her writings be different and how different will she process life experience.
@Rosieb47
@Rosieb47 4 жыл бұрын
It seems some people resent the interviewer. It doesn't justify him, but he is a very famous and wellknown Dutch writer, winner of numerous prizes and awards.
@mikshinee87
@mikshinee87 4 жыл бұрын
Well fantastic but that doesn't mean he can empathise with a traumatised young woman.
@j.f.8766
@j.f.8766 4 жыл бұрын
I love this interview. She is great, very smart and intelligent woman. Greatings from Poland :*
@yungfaas6688
@yungfaas6688 4 жыл бұрын
The interviewer isn't just someone. Son of holocaust survivor(s) and the brother of a west bank settler sister. Also a famous writer in the Netherlands.
@lesliediamond2925
@lesliediamond2925 4 жыл бұрын
I so much enjoyed the interview as well as their rapport as interviewer and interviewee. Obviously they were enjoying the interview too.
@sandyandresen2636
@sandyandresen2636 4 жыл бұрын
Arnon Grunberg, you seemed disrespectful, or uncomfortable with the power of a Jewish woman who has gone against the Jewish patriarchy. Maybe you were nervous, but Deborah’s eloquence and the significance of her experience and presentation should have been better exemplified and respected. I am an American Jewish Woman.
@bosteye
@bosteye 3 жыл бұрын
I totally agree, Sandy.
@buktababe
@buktababe 3 жыл бұрын
Agree, 100%
@hanshintiger1
@hanshintiger1 4 жыл бұрын
Really enjoyed this, very enlightening.Fascinating story. ( I thought the interviewer was great btw)
@mrvibe2406
@mrvibe2406 4 жыл бұрын
I'm a jew living in Brooklyn NY, (in the same place she lived.) And I'm so confused after watching this episode. From one side I'm pretty happy here, I have a loving family, friends, Rabbi. But things she said here I found highly highly disturbing. She raised questions I never had before, and my heart is so so sorry for her that her story developed in my community. I feel very ashamed. But I want people to know that not all Brooklyn jews are like that.
@MartianInDisguise
@MartianInDisguise 4 жыл бұрын
Well of course not, there are many good (Orthodox and non-Orthodox) Jews. I'm glad you have loving friends and family. It may be that because you are male (assuming you are because of your name), that you might be unaware of the experiences some female Jews may have gone through, e.g., Jewish women not being taught by their marriage teacher how to embrace/appreciate their sexuality in a marriage. In the Netflix film "Unorthodox," based on this woman's life, in the scene where the character Esty is taught about marital relations, the teacher does not once mention female pleasure. I was shocked - how could a woman not be ever taught about the clitoris, and how to ask for pleasure from her husband? That is setting the woman up for unhappiness in her marital relations - not to mention not teaching the husband how to pleasure his wife. It says in the Talmud that this is the wife's right!
@mrvibe2406
@mrvibe2406 4 жыл бұрын
MartianInDisguise, thank you very much for your comment. You are %100 right.
@MartianInDisguise
@MartianInDisguise 4 жыл бұрын
@@mrvibe2406 sure thing. I am certain that not all religious Jews are close-minded or abusive; there are many who are good-hearted, decent folks, like anyone else. Abuse can happen in any type of community, not just Jewish ones.
@strugglingcollegestudent
@strugglingcollegestudent 4 жыл бұрын
@@MartianInDisguise Catholic Priests are the perfect example
@rinaassouline676
@rinaassouline676 4 жыл бұрын
Dont be a hypocrite. Wake uo. Drink your coffee. And shake your braincells to reality. Religion with strict abnormal dogmas is based on money..domination...sexual debauchry...and hatred hatred...lots lots lots of hatrred.. Judaism...catholicism....Islam are dogmas invented by MAN. G-D never created or dictated so much garbage. ..Man invented laws and pinned them on the Almighty. Quite laughable...
@llc1976
@llc1976 4 жыл бұрын
I’m so grateful the author decided not to publish with big American companies, I’m so glad she found freedom in Germany. Yes America is suffering now but we had to face all the corruption, in November we will begin a new start! Thank you for writing and pushing forward your story it’s important to the world. The democrats do have a strong counteraction it is love. Love is a large tent which holds all kinds of diversity and ideas. Nancy Pelosi says our diversity is our strength, there is room for disagreement and differing ideas.
@dsaulw
@dsaulw 6 жыл бұрын
I admire the author and found Unorthodox to be excellent. When she talks about politics, it seems to me that philosophically, she would fit in better with the libertarian movement than the left-liberals or modern day conservatives.
@freshname
@freshname 4 жыл бұрын
I got a different impression. It seems, that since she moved to Germany she became more to the centre-left, wich there in the US can be considered very left, wich just contributes to the notion that the US has an exotic far-right political climate and the lack of a diverse political representation system, just two parties.
@palladin331
@palladin331 4 жыл бұрын
Oh god no. She is not a libertarian. She is a responsible, enlightened person.
@friendinpotentia
@friendinpotentia 4 жыл бұрын
One thing that struck me was that the rebbe mandating that married women shave their heads when this was never done in Europe is a reminder always of the holocaust where the women had their heads shaved in Auschwitz. You would think it is the last thing they would ever want to see again. But it may be a way of working through this trauma by “owning” it. I have never heard of shaving the head of married women in any Jewish community.
@laurajackson23
@laurajackson23 4 жыл бұрын
This is fascinating. It’s a pity so many people jump in the comments to criticize and not to say something positive or to comment on the content of the talk.
@moirapettifr7127
@moirapettifr7127 3 жыл бұрын
The male interviewer is triggering her. Whether he is doing it purposefully or not but she has such valid and strong answers back. 1:17:30
@deanshannon8555
@deanshannon8555 5 жыл бұрын
She looks like her mother whom I know personally. They are both brilliant women and I applaud their courage to leave the Satmar sect of Chasidic Judaism which is the most ultra orthodox sect.
@jorutherford1632
@jorutherford1632 4 жыл бұрын
Woah
@michelleg7
@michelleg7 4 жыл бұрын
I have to ask is Deborah still practicing Judaism? I was thinking she leans more reformed Judaism but I'm honestly wondering.
@nspector
@nspector 4 жыл бұрын
@@michelleg7 I'm guessing shoe does not because said she does not want to indentify as a Jew anymore.
@palladin331
@palladin331 4 жыл бұрын
@@michelleg7 Clearly she is not practicing any religion. She has attained enlightenment.
@michelleg7
@michelleg7 4 жыл бұрын
@@palladin331 oh please 🙄
@ChooseU4ever
@ChooseU4ever 4 жыл бұрын
What is the name of the author of Infidel the book she's talking about at1:14:23?
@palladin331
@palladin331 4 жыл бұрын
Ayaan Hirsi Ali. The story of her escape from Islam is incredible. She has aligned herself with the American right, unfortunately. But, as Deborah says, that does not detract from her life story.
@ChooseU4ever
@ChooseU4ever 4 жыл бұрын
palladin331 what a pity. I know her, I didn’t know she aligned herself with the right. That’s very sad.
@claudia-yohannameister6239
@claudia-yohannameister6239 4 жыл бұрын
Amazing Woman. I am just the opposite I was not raised jewish and I am connecting now. My Oma was a hidden Jew.
@mungomedia5491
@mungomedia5491 4 жыл бұрын
Good for you. I hope Deborah will see the love side of G-d, and believe again. G-d is good. G-d is love
@namrataarvind2107
@namrataarvind2107 3 жыл бұрын
Hey what is the name of the author they were speaking about in @1:13:10 ???
@frankstein9982
@frankstein9982 4 жыл бұрын
It's a little unusual for an interviewer to start the interview with an anecdote about the way he looks - especially when he's just requested "no anecdotes in the Q&A please". The way he's checking his papers all the time is also not a great look.
@magsb6318
@magsb6318 4 жыл бұрын
Yes I find him annoying, I don't like his way of conducting the interview. Also I don't always understand what he says or reads, very nonchalant accent...
@ChickensAndGardening
@ChickensAndGardening 4 жыл бұрын
@@magsb6318 I read all these critical comments, then watched the interview and I just don't see it. He's got his own style, that's for sure. But he's an excellent interviewer.
@monicasjoblom9316
@monicasjoblom9316 Жыл бұрын
Eine sehr gutes, informatives Programm. Ich bewundere Deborah Feldmans Kurage! Dank für ein sehr, sehr gute Einsichten. Wie kann man mit ihr in Kontakt kommen?
@cristinaaristizabal9882
@cristinaaristizabal9882 4 жыл бұрын
He was not good for the task of interviewing such an intelligent and amazing woman.
@GustavMahlerHorn
@GustavMahlerHorn 4 жыл бұрын
He is way more of an intellectual than she is..(You should read about his background before making such an idiotic claim) How is he not fit for this interview? They had great chemistry.
@Caocao8888
@Caocao8888 4 жыл бұрын
He was not fluent enough to keep up with her mile-a-minute English. He had to search for words as she kept the pace very fast. Let’s see how she does in her next interview with him, though, as she agreed to do it in German.
@annecohen8927
@annecohen8927 3 жыл бұрын
It's so nice to see how people can learn to tolerate well minded people, regardless of their commentaries about their lives in an Ultra Orthodox community in Williamsburg. If people are being turned off by the oppressive nature of their religious observances, they should try to find something else, more welcoming and more meaningful. I am from a Reform movement of Judaism, my paternal family lineage, from a conservative form of Judaism. I find the Reform method to be more enriching, more welcoming and if someone doesn't agree with me, that's fine with me. I even went to Christian churches of my past friends and i definitely know how kind Christianity it is in form of enrichment and spiritual renewal. I find nothing wrong with Christianity in the form of faith, but often, Christianity is often abused by false Christians trying to establish their own virulent form of extremism, to a religion filled with divine purity and spiritualism. And i think atheists should try and establish a friendlier form of relationship with Christians and not to be objective even if certain things they don't always agree with.
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