One to One: Deborah Feldman, Author - "Exodus"

[@mimisevere5055]

I got a deeper impression of her in this interview... I cant wait to read her books. The interviewer did amazing job with flow of questions and conversations

[@lisalorenzo7451]

This book is truly on of my all time favorites. I had no idea Deborah had written a 2nd book.Im so excited .TY for your frankness.

[@markrogowin8572]

CHERYL McCrarthy is an excellent interviewer. Intelligent and very compassionate.

[@MLovesacoffee]

Excellent interview. Sarah Lawrence College has much to be proud about. Deborah has much to be proud about. You deserve tons of credit and respect for your courage alone.

[@liambrannelly45]

Two beautiful women having a deep, intelligent conversation. I'm in heaven!!! :)

[@Sbannmarie]

Liam, if you want to see an exact opposite of your description of this interview search for Arnon Grunberg meets Deborah Feldman

[@paulaOyeah]

Objectification, much? 🤮

[@moirapettifr7127]

Men will always judge women on what they look like thinking it is a compliment, smh.

[@nancybrenner4876]

Very impressed with the interviewer, Sheryl McCarthy as well as Deborah Feldman.

[@secretaryandactress]

I read both books, Unorthodox and Exodus, and they answered a lot of questions I had regarding the Hasidic community. The fact that Ms. Feldman wrote about her own experiences instead of an observer-writer doing a study and reporting back, brings impact to her statements. The rich, personal details make the book work. No one has the right to dispute the facts within considering that this is a personal account. Ms. Feldman never claimed that Satmars would prefer to study the torah rather than support their families or that all Satmars are identical in practice. The second book definitely showed a leap in maturity of her writing. I was never bored by any part of Exodus although I felt that it was on the lengthy side. I think that her travels to trace her grandmother's steps to arriving in the U.S. could have been a book in itself. I have done quite a bit of reading on the Holocaust and it was good to learn more details with each country she visited and the role it played in the war. Finally and what I was most shocked about was the author reports that antisemitism still exists in modern, European cities in the 21st century.

[@christiejensen1606]

The story of Deborah Feldman makes me want to cry. For everything this woman has gone through she found her strength. Godspeed to you. 😊

[@isabellaaragon144]

This is true for every religion: A little religion is able to enrich your life, a lot religion destrois it.

[@miriamgreen3973]

Well that's a blanket statement. Tell the Pope that a lot of religion destroyed his life

[@esthyewody947]

Miriam Green what are you even talking about? It not a blank statement. It’s an interesting perpective

[@shiningdawn8578]

@@miriamgreen3973 A lot of religion may not have destroyed the Pope's life, but that same lot utterly devastated millions more than the Pope. Is that what you're saying? That because it's good for one person, it doesn't matter how many other suffers? You are remarkably shortsighted.

[@isabellaaragon144]

@@miriamgreen3973 The pope wears a white dress and has to work till his death...Do I really have to explain it better how destroyed his life is...?

[@patcavasin5947]

Ms. Feldman is incredibly courageous. I don't understand how she managed to get into Sarah Lawrence with the minimal education she received as she was growing up....I wish this had been explained more completely. Her story is so very interesting and inspiring to so many.

[@nualabb]

Amazing. I appreciated the definition of home.

[@NoaLives79]

I just want to sit down and talk to her about spirituality. I can't get enough of her.

[@moirapettifr7127]

It's so great and makes me cry that she was given a full scholarship by Sarah Lawrence College. They believed in her when no one in her community wanted to.

[@danielbentley520]

Very very profound and sobering. A lot to reflect on

[@Sbannmarie]

agreed

[@SandyRiverBlue]

I like her and happy that I watched this.

[@BlueEyesBrittany]

I watched a previous video with Mrs Feldman which i found really nice since she acknowledged the issues in her own upbringing while acknowledging that all the people that came from communities that had been depicted to her as all evil to her were not allas evil and harmful as a. result of previous wrongdoing by those communities or by the simple fact that they were members of those communities. When it comes to women and peace, i long for the day when women will feel safe in marriage and no longer fear abuse, neglect, betrayal and other problems and we will put an end to violence ..... it may be wishful thinking but we should use whatever intelligence, reason and efforts we may have to improve the world and some areas are in great need of improvement ..... even though there has been progress in some. From experience, the way women are treated is one of them, not the only one by far, ending violence and improving the economic system also.....Even though i recognise that there may have been some good principles in some religions, i also know that some have been really detrimental to people , reasons why i do not want to follow or obey any system blindly even if i find some practices to be good advice for myself and for a better world and living together. As a rule, i will not fear people who treat me well but will certainly avoid and run from both activities or people that will harm me or be destructive.

[@llamadeusmozart]

The intro reminds me of a 80's sitcom.

[@AnnaMishel]

Two lovely, intelligent women, and a very good interview. Thanks!

[@scutmonkey3393]

In another interview when she was living in Germany and no longer having a relationship with her mother, Deborah had a much different accent while speaking English. Here, her English is uninflected. My understanding is that she grew up speaking Yiddish as her first language. Not sure why. She is very articulate and intelligent, in any case. I find her so interesting.

[@fjellyo3261]

Yes first language is Yiddish. English she learned only in college.

[@davehigginson6126]

Actually, it’s because she’s attempting to change her identity. She had very low self esteem and in an attempt to increase her self worth, she decided to just change her identity, including faking an accent. She’s infatuated with Germany so decided she would become a German. She’s playing everyone and using her books and public speaking to get validation from a lot of really gullible people.

[@susanscherer4570]

@@davehigginson6126 As Yiddish is close to German, her living in Germany brought back the accent she had prior to college. She is great at mimicking accents. Her accent in this video is pure Sarah Lawrence.

[@davehigginson6126]

@@susanscherer4570 I don't think her accent is as a result of reacquiring a former accent. I've seen and heard her speak both before and after this event. No accent. I believe her accent is pure co-changing. It's a part of her pattern of behavior to try to gain acceptance by changing her identity to match those she most admires and whose approval she so desperately desires.

[@gasaholic47]

@@davehigginson6126 You're forgetting that Yiddish is rooted in German, Middle German to be precise. Your assertions are a load of bullshit. She's not faking any accent. If you actually read her books, especially Exodus, you'd know that she had to adapt her Yiddish to modern German. I've read this accusation about her before, and it's nonsense.

[@casscassidy]

That was a great interview very interesting hearing someone else life story good on u Deborah your a survivor

[@fredrika27]

Her book is totally different from the Netflix series!

[@Sbannmarie]

in what way?

[@fredrika27]

@@Sbannmarie The rivalry with Addy which never was, being the first black millionaire, her daughters education, etc!

[@mimisevere5055]

So they wanted a different story for the character in the Netflix show after she left the community

[@fredrika27]

@@mimisevere5055 Honestly, I don't know what they were thinking! But yes, they got a different story!

[@mackay5449]

@@Sbannmarie The time before She leaves is similar (but more detailed), but the time after that has changed completely. I think for dramatic reasons it was easier for the series to remodel it. Some things are easier to read than just watching them. But if you are really interested, you should read the book. For example, reading worldly literature in particular had a huge impact on her and not necessarily playing the piano. But all the reflections and ideas that come from reading books are more difficult to film, I guess.

[@patriceroseplummer1124]

Her looks kind of remind me of Jo Frost of"Supernanny".

[@lidhietteaguirre645]

Debora is amazing woman

[@robertoa.m.3984]

Very impressive!

[@user-ys4og2vv8k]

Heartbreaking...

[@miriamgreen3973]

In 2 separate interviews I heard "can't remember a time my life didn't center around being descended from Holocaust survivors" sure sounds like you never laughed, never coloured, never sang or danced. Just war memories for small children. Sounds horrible

[@TheFarkhondeh]

Deborah I love your hair color you look so good in blonde

[@rivkina1]

I understand what it feels like living in a ultra orthodox community….I left too

[@BlueEyesBrittany]

One of the problems of women for very long was that their only ticket to economical survival was marriage........ hence all the abuse that has been going on .....hopefully, many women can work now so that they do not have to engage in marriage in order to survive...... that does not mean that we should reevaluate education and behaviours to ensure safety and sucess in this area and others. We do.

[@barbaraschwimmer1338]

Have a friend who is a therapist Anthiny ( well I cannot write) she is from the SATMAAR community got a degree without knowing how to read and write. She explained that Deborah is really suffering that Mom abandoned her. It’s never what is on the top layer. U always have to dig underneath. Deborah is a very pained and hurt young lady. HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE

[@trishamurphy3357]

🤦‍♀️

[@nualabb]

What is your point?

[@BlueEyesBrittany]

Intelligence has never been the characteristic of one community while others would be deemed to be dumb and lacking therefof nor should it be only academic. In today's world, intelligence is perceived as the faculty for those endowed with it to learn quickly, solve problems fast and we have neglected vital aspects of what intelligence is or should be such as living according to intelligent rules, improving life on earth, taking proper care of oneself and our peers. There are also various kinds of intelligence : would you consider a gardener who never went to school as a stupid person who will never achieve any thing good and noteworthy in his life and lacking in intelligence, same can be asked from women who raise children and never had an educational background ? I think we reassess. a lot of given or points of view and accepted thinking and behaviours in this world.

[@TheFarkhondeh]

Deborah you look so good in blonde I love your blonde hair on you fantastic

[@clearjr1]

She never got to explain how her mother ended up in the Satmar cult after she came to the USA.

[@shiriamgutierrez5512]

She did, her mom was pretty much purchased. It says it in the book, in many of her interviews including this one.

[@clearjr1]

@@shiriamgutierrez5512 Thanks for the correction. I had misunderstood who she was speaking about.

[@barbaraschwimmer1338]

Becky just saw ur comment : It’s called CAPITAL Letters . You sound angry,why? Maybe change therapists

[@lillylazer429]

Menstruation is seen as dirty? Wow. In my religion it's celebrated

[@mikeizme20021]

Great when do we celebrate?

[@cestmoi5702]

Wow! What’s your religion?

[@beckysam3913]

Its womens private life and celebration, vatican church forbid these celebrations officialy and burned these women.

[@anthonydavid5121]

google MIKVAH. It will explain for you

[@mutifeldbrand]

the rituals during menstruation is practiced by every religious Jew and not only my satmer hasidim and was practiced by the Jewish people since the torah was given to us directly from god on mount Sinai.

[@kashmir87]

ok, that isn't an excuse though. that's a fallacy called appeal to tradition. something being traditional doesn't determine whether or not it's a good thing to do.

[@lillylazer429]

@@kashmir87 I find it strange that you have to report something so personal. In my religion we celebrate young girls who have their first period. Also in her book when she was having trouble with intimacy, everyone in the family had to know? That is between a husband and a wife.

[@danielbentley520]

@@lillylazer429 really, I am curious, what religion are you talking about?

[@mariaroldan4200]

May be Hindu? I read that in south India they celebrate with the girl wearing her first Sahri

[@loochhmm6334]

kashmir87 morality is also subjective. To some Jews, that is moral. To you... it may not be

[@samuelschwimmer2847]

Good morning Shiriam ur right it is HERSTORY not exactly factual HISTORY not exactly honest and not exactly factual. She was abandoned by her mom because she was not equipped And not inclined to take care of a young child,wanting to pursue her intellectual abilities. These are the facts:music abounds love and caring abounds and children are very precious. She is one angry and hurt young woman that did not get the help needed. Abandonment and Rejection are both very painful that lead to bitterness angry. There are woman in our community that are authors, forex brokers,option traders

[@Kim_gs1206]

Angry? She's not angry at all, what are you talking about! Because she didn't want live like that. I promise you no woman who knows better, wants to live like a breeding and cleaning machine. The type of religion has nothing to do with it either! You see this everywhere.

[@butterflygirl2285]

I dislike any religion that treats women like cattle.

[@Leif208]

I agree. Can't you people see that she's totally playing you. She lacks self-worth so is using you to for validation ("Love me! Admire me!"). She's re-created a past to get sympathy and is re-creating an artificial present identity in order to be admired (based on who she admires the most, non-jewish Germans). You guys are all falling for it.

[@lilafeldman8630]

These people have the worst case of Jewish guilt ever.

[@simchargoldish]

not all chasidim are like satmar...thank g-d

[@beckysam3913]

Please write God like every one else, or yahwe or Allah, or summarian El or El-la, bc the imaginary allmighty does not exist, get educated and read books.

[@simchargoldish]

@@beckysam3913 I try to follow the shulchan aruch

[@wednesdayschild3627]

@@beckysam3913 imo religion is a tool. I am catholic. It is not religion, it is the people misusing the tool of religion. Imo all anxiety is fear of death and suffering. Religion allowed me to view suffering and death as having a redemptive purpose. I don't tell others what to think.

[@DanielaAnaelle]

i have a good friend from a satmar community who also left the religion and isnt observant now. But unlike Deborah who trashes her family and all those she grew up with, my friend decided to go her way without making it public. Which I personally think is a much more mature way of going about things. And there are a bunch of things Deborah talks about which are simply untrue.

[@lillylazer429]

That's her reality. She's not trashing her family. She's telling it like it is

[@danielbentley520]

No they are not. She desctbes Szatmay the way most Jews,straight orthodox and other chassidic Jews perceive them

[@shiriamgutierrez5512]

Yes, let's keep everything hush hush. Let's not give other teenagers a way out of they chose to leave. 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@beckysam3913]

Are you trying to be extra insensitiv? Your attempt to silence women tells a lot about your character and hate toward women in general, and how ashamed you are as a women for fighting for rights. Maybe you should get educated and support other women instead beating on them, get mature instead celebrating patriarchy.

[@Leif208]

I fail to understand why so many people are enamored with her. She clearly has a huge inferiority complex and her life (and books) are nothing more than a pathetic attempt to redefine her identity in order to increase her self-worth. And she's using all of you to validate her struggle and to make her feel justified and admired. She's a perfect example of the historical relationship Jews have with Germany. Don't you German's get it? Many Jews are infatuated with Germany. They always have been. They've always had both a superiority complex (among themselves) but an inferiority complex out in the world. So, in order to increase their self worth, they've always wanted acceptance especially by the people whom they admire the most, the Germans. Due to the German's part in the holocaust, Jews felt betrayed by those they most admired. Many have never forgiven them and hate them for it. However, there are many (usually 3rd generation) who are again fascinated by Germany, then infatuated, then want that acceptance again, and ultimately, for some, to be considered one of them. The only difference between before the war and now, is that many Jews are taking advantage of the current generations of Germans who are now also suffering from an inferiority complex and have been taught to feel so much guilt for the holocaust (and for even just being German), that they'll do anything to absolve the guilt, including bending over backwards to accommodate any Jews wishing to integrate. By the way, I'm not anti-Semitic. Jews have an amazing heritage and could have very high self-worth. Problem is, some, just like any people, try to get their self-worth from the world instead of it's true source. From God. Deborah (birth name, Surie Berkovic), decided not to get her self worth there, but is instead trying to get it from all of you, even if it means re-creating herself in the image of those she most admires, even if it is completely artificial.

[@trishamurphy3357]

Your arrogance and ego are really preventing you from realizing how anti-Semitic you truly are.

[@Leif208]

@@trishamurphy3357 Looks like you're an debate expert on "How to win any argument, whether you know what your'e talking about or not." There's only one step: 1) Accuse the other person of antisemitism. End of argument, right? Instead of an unfounded accusation, please, elaborate on or give an example of "my antisemitism." Please, also, expose anything I said that was untrue. Or, this should be an easy one: Who is truly antisemitic, myself, or the person you're defending, Ms. Feldman?

[@sscott6122]

I just listened to another interview with Deborah in which she spoke with a very thick German accent. She even acted like she did not know the American translation for some of the words she was trying to use! Her message is lost and she will be looked at as a fraud if she continues this type of charade! People want to talk about how intelligent she is... well I think she comes across extremely manipulative!

[@rachelnoto7686]

She said in that interview that she learned to mimic American accents, and that when she spoke with people from Texas she would speak with a Texan accent. It's clear that she absorbs accents very easily, and so when she was speaking with others who spoke German, she tended towards that, but when she is in America, she absorbs that accent. It's not fraudulent or manipulative in any way.

[@gailalbers1430]

she is extremely bright, near genius- a lot of people who are linguistically gifted often take on accents. plus she grew up speaking jiddisch and that is close to german. the accent you thought was a thick german accent might have been a thick jiddisch accent . i am german living in an english speaking country and people commented that i had a thick american accent when speaking german and i did forget german words as well.

[@emmyc80]

Rachel Noto I heard that too, but I think she should use her natural real voice and not any accent. It would be like me going to India and speaking English with an Indian accent to the people there. They might find it offensive. I’m not saying I find it offensive but I just think it would be nice to hear her natural voice.

[@Curtain12312]

She will be living permanently in Germany so her German influence on English is just fine. If you have an ear for accents, it happens very easily.

[@PandaGraciosa]

Additionally her native language is Yiddish which is so close to German so it makes sense her accent would be more German

[@mutifeldbrand]

its amazing how she gets away with such blatant lies,the fact is that most satmer men do work hard for a living to support their large families and only study the bible at nights or early mornings before they leave to work.

[@rockmyballsplease]

That's what you take issue with?

[@secretaryandactress]

You can't be satmar [unless you're committing a sin by being on a computer].

[@kashmir87]

she never said that studying the Torah is all they do, in the book she discussed various people's jobs

[@lillylazer429]

I'm sure they do but this was her reality. Every family is different.

[@mikeizme20021]

Interesting she's dressed tznius wearing a wig.

[@barbaraschwimmer1338]

HOG WASH I AM FROM THE COMMUNITY THAT SHE IS DISPARAGING.SHE IS A DEEPLY UNHAPPY WOMAN

[@shiriamgutierrez5512]

Is HER story to tell, you may be very happy in that community and that is awesome, (also, you are Satmar and use the internet? 🤔) it wasn't for her and there is nothing wrong with that. She wrote about HER experience, NOT YOURS.

[@beckysam3913]

WHY ARE YOU WRITING IN BIG LETTERS? THAT DOES NOT MAKE YOU MORE INTELLIGENT AND COHERENT, GO LEARN TO DEAL WITH YOUR EMOTIONS AND SEE A THERAPIST, GO AND GET EDUCATED, READ BOOKS!

[@anthonydavid5121]

Folks, don't fall for this line. Satmar women can barely read and I can promise you that none are using computers. BS, you're an imposter.

[@barbaraschwimmer1338]

Really Anthony u suck, I M A SATMAAR WOMAN WHO CANNOT READ OR WRITE BUT TRADE THE FOREX WITHOUT SUCH BASIC SKILLS,U PROBABLY DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. by the way Deborah Feldman did not struggle at all when she enrolled in college that’s because when she went to her primary school (which was SATMAAR all she did was knit) L.O.L.

[@bloopblooper490]

Very unimpressed with the interview from outset. That person interviewed did not grow up in Satmar community, let's start there....

[@danielbentley520]

Yes she did

[@horsewithnoname12345]

bloop blooper yes she did

[@gailalbers1430]

bloop blooper you are weird

[@shiriamgutierrez5512]

You know that for a fact? Doubt it.

[@czl29]

Wow. She's bitter. Lies. Most Satmar are very smart. Very business savy. Head down diamond district. Wall street. They are excellent providers. People are brought up in broken homes. That doesn't paint a picture of the community...

[@danielbentley520]

Wrong - utterly accurate. Instead of smearing, accept the criticism

[@cestmoi5702]

Agreed. Well said, Daniel.

[@fredrika27]

Say that to the Israelis who dislike supporting the Hasidim because they are exempt from every aspect of Israeli life including the military!

[@raanan1115]

@@fredrika27 Well, since chassidim have LARGER FAMILIES, they pay more Value Added Tax than most other Israelis, so it turns out that these chassidim are supporting the military! DEMOCRACY ALLOWS one to choose their level of participation in a particular society. I'm all for the Amish in America continuing their level of participation in American society because pursuit of happiness is a main tenet of America, why should Israel be anything less?

[@fredrika27]

@@raanan1115 My issues with this is that extremely Orthodox religions don't have to go to military while Mohamud Ali went to prison for three years because he was not allowed to be a pacifist! So it's okay for certain religions to get out of military services while others are sent to jail in the US! That's not fair! With the exception of the Amish who pay land taxes, many religions get out of paying taxes by becoming a non-profit! Another issue is welfare! In the US more Hasidic families are on public aid than the average Black or Hispanic family! Yet people of color are put in prison for welfare fraud while the Orthodox aren't! Then there is the bill government has to foot especially when Muslim and Coptic Christians enforce FGM or when their young leave their religious communities! The public has to foot the bill for health, judicial, education and even witness protection! As an educator, I've seen it all and have been told to turn a blind eye to it all including child brides! I won't go on, but you get the picture! It's not fair for certain religions to cherry pick which freedoms they want to uphold in the US! People are a part of society and should not hide behind religion to shirk their civil duties, not pay taxes, or to oppress women! And paying VAT is no excuse for not having a job (unless diabled) and paying income tax! That us just lame excuse!

[@yidishchiller5605]

Slow unsuccessful interview

[@danielbentley520]

If you paid attention you would realise how invaluable it was. Your loss - as revealed in this public forum.

[@beckysam3913]

Your attempt to degrade and belittle intelligent women does not work, she is more than ever successful. Pity you dont live a fulfilled life as her and envy her.