(DEH)In the Bedroom Down the Hall Animatic (TW!)

[@uhhhnah4564]

**you hear sobbing in the bedroom down the hall**

[@jotid8930]

O-O I live alone

[@-kuonichinose-2300]

@@jotid8930 Heya stranger. Would you like burnt eggs or ramen with those tissues? I live in the bedroom down the hall!

[@naechan1779]

I took it as Connor's unsatisfied spirit lingering in his bedroom and hearing his mother expressing her emotions and him crying after relaizing what his mother went through because of him. *And then I cried.*

[@rttroyalty7773]

*Walks in, ready to cry with*

[@caeliencollier20]

burnt eggs or ramen. thats great

[@bookworm516]

If anyone’s crying, here’s a funny story: So, I was singing this for a talent show accidentally sang, “I fed you ninja turtle nightlights for dinner.”

[@TheBlacknoodles_]

Bookworm I wish I found this comment earlier now im laughing like a maniac

[@muffin2895]

Thanks so much

[@Charlie_Ollie]

I laughed through the tears. Thank you

[@bugg.wh0]

@@Charlie_Ollie same here lol

[@musicalava4224]

This made me feel so much better

[@fishfood4two717]

Omg the contrast in the meaning “anything to make you happy”! Did anyone else notice? When Evan’s mom says it, she means anything that will make Evan content or excited, like a present. But Connor’s mom meant, anything to make it easier for you to be happy. Any medication or technique that would make him less angry, and there fore more happy.

[@momosworld1489]

Oh my god.... I never realized that

[@sharonefee1426]

Well, they both weren't in the exact same situation. Evan's mom tried to really make him happy, give him a better life, full of smiles, as I think she herself was quite tired of it all. Conor's mom also wished in the beginning for her son's happiness just like Evan's mother, but when you see your boy like that... You can't just wish for his usual happiness. You wish for him to be relaxed. But in the end, both mothers wanted their sons to be happy, to smile more, to have more fun of life.

[@kayladudley1761]

Fishfood4two I’m cry at 6:14 am on a school morning why u do this to me

[@crystalvitagliano6381]

Fishfood4two maybe Connor's mum was raised that way and was unintentionally doing that to em

[@pointblank4937]

You see, Connor obviously hated himself. So fucking much. And because of that he was always trying to tell himself “I’m normal” but he also always knew he was messed up. Hence, his hatred for when people called him a freak, or why his mom wanted to give him medication or take him to the doctors. There wasn’t much that could have helped Connor other than a sturdy human connection. Which leads to the fact that maybe, maybe if Connor hadn’t acted on his uncontrollable hurt and anger, he would have become great friends with Evan. Maybe if his dad chose the softer way to take care of his son then things would have been different. But something in Connors mind didn’t click. It wasn’t just an issue, it was a disorder. Nothing could have changed the fact that Connor had depression. Connors anger issues could also be a serious mental problem. It’s so hard on someone’s mental health when they not only have depression, but can’t embrace it, so they hate it and hate themselves and push away any treatment. Therefore, Connors death is more than tragic, but what could have really been done to prevent his life to be so horrible? We can’t blame anyone, some were too hurt, some were naive, and some were trying there absolute best.

[@wassupbrorruitos3652]

Cynthia is probably the most underrated character in the entire musical. Almost all of the scenes she is in she is either almost crying or is and people don't see her as a major part in the musical and sees her struggle with Connor. She tried to do everything, she paid so much money for counselling and medicine to help Connor and she struggled with everything. In the musical, she sounds dependant on Evan's lie and says that it brings her closure knowing her son had a friend and that he was at least happy sometimes. But when Evan tells the Murphy family about the truth, she is denying that Evan wasn't Connors friend in the first verse of Words Fail. She is literally having a breakdown as the truth finally sinks in, but most people just focus on Evan throughout all this. In the scene before Evan tells everyone the truth, almost everyone in the Connor Project is attacking the Murphy family and blaming them for Connors suicide. Cynthia is the first to blame Larry for this because she doesn't want to believe that it was her fault after everything she tried to do for Connor. Cynthia should be recognised more for her struggle throughout the entire musical. Everyone recognises Heidi's struggle because she gets a couple scenes and a whole song to tell everyone about it. Cynthia gets none of that and only gets a couple lines in the entire musical that is only really used to help strengthen Evan's lie.

[@wassupbrorruitos3652]

I'm not saying that everyone else doesn't deserve to have so many lines about heir struggles I'm just saying that Cynthia deserves more recognition for hers.

[@Wren796]

God dammit why do you have to make me cry even more with this ;-;

[@doodleproductions7552]

@@wassupbrorruitos3652 I'm soo late, but I agree with you. I think this animatic is very great because it also showed a look of regret pass Connor's face, he never hated his family (like Evan portrayed him), he hated hurting his family. It's clear he cares for them (as in the book he mentions how Larry cared about him just didn't show it, I believe the song 'Break in a Glove' demonstrates this perfectly). Connor got riled up over Evan mentioning his sister, "All my hopes are pinned on Zoe" and I believe this is an indication that he's very overprotective of her. Connor recognized that his family was trying to help him, but at the same time he felt bad for his family having to help him. Poor Cynthia tried all she could, but unfortunately Connor took this as being more of a burden. God, this musical is just so great.

[@Graaaaaah]

Ikr she's so amazing and so strong but isn't given enough credit. I love her so much and she's my favorite character

[@user-eq2ds2hc6i]

heidi is so personal to me because as a kid who struggled with mental health and a poor mom, i can relate to evan and her’s relationship. she tries really hard to be there and evan understands, so he doesn’t demand from her, even when he needs her. that’s personal to me and my mom. cynthia and heidi are great examples of a mother’s love, i just relate to heidi so much more and that’s why i hold her close to my heart.

[@elizaone1497]

WHO THOUGHT IT WOULD BE ALRIGHT TO DELETE THIS FROM THE FINAL TRACK ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

[@antimatterexplodes4014]

Sadly, the writers had to make that decision. It hurt them to do it, and they tried for months to fit it in. No luck.

[@pointblank4937]

Then they could have maybe delete the song about a fucking glove?

[@Cloud-ko9dh]

Kawaii Potato LMAO

[@regrubmaH]

Kawaii Potato wElL lArRy NeEdS a SONg!!!!

[@regrubmaH]

Kawaii Potato wElL lArRy NeEdS a SONg!!!!

[@choccymilc7052]

THESE MOTHERS MIGHT NOT DESERVE A MEDAL BUT THEY DESERVE THEIR CHILDREN AND THEY TRIED THEIR DAMNDEST

[@sidlam1976]

nah they deserve a medal

[@AsdfAsdf-mi6ks]

They absolutely deserve a medal.

[@skyline1388]

all moms deserve a medal (the non abusive ones at least)

[@zebracorn9184]

Idk about Connors mom but evan’s definitely does

[@sirandrewaguecheek6512]

@@zebracorn9184 shes tried her best

[@sloosb]

I'm watching this on Mother's Day *MISTAKES HAVE BEEN MADE*

[@mexican_bacon4999]

Ah I see SAME PLEASE HELP

[@charmforce3346]

Oof I lost my mom on Mother’s Day actually so like Just Oof 😂

[@LooneyLei]

@@charmforce3346 This Is really dark

[@kittynoir361]

CharmForce 33 Oof that’s horrible m8 ;-;

[@kusuriuri3395]

My mom barely talks to me and like do things for me like yeeeeee. Well, mistakes happens buster

[@ixena8983]

Honestly, it wasn't the suicide and Cynthia remembering the good and bad times she had with Connor that made me cry, it was Heidi and how she tried to do everything to make Evan happy but as a single mother she had to work long nights to provide for him which made Evan distance himself from her like that just broke my heart, just that first "Anything to make you happy" from Heidi made me burst into tears because she was willing to sacrifice her relationship with her son if only he could have a better life than hers and that just hit way too close to home

[@HaiWorldz]

:') I feel this too.

[@pointblank4937]

Yeah but Connors death was pretty fucking sad too, and Heidi. And Evan. And EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS FUCKING MUSICAL.

[@belledelphine9692]

iXena ARGH IT WAS BOTHHHH

[@teddy5261]

She tried so hard😭 she tried so hard to keep him

[@Meme-yp8um]

667 like😊

[@wolfiebun5842]

So there i was crying. And my mum asked me whats wrong. I told her i was listening to a song and watching an animatic and she said and i quote "stop being such a baby. It cant be that bad" so i showed her and she started crying. _my mum knows nothing about deh but this made her cry anyway. Thats how talented you are_

[@magiv4205]

To be honest, I've never been a mother, but if I was and I saw this, even without knowing the musical, I would probably cry too.

[@haneeya6185]

I should probably know this but what musical is this from?

[@Wizardry04]

I would just tell her that is a story about a son who commited suicide. That would touch her as a mother with no doubt, and will change her mind ;)

[@ahjaigirdar464]

My mom wouldnt she would yell at me saying my feelings are invalid

[@ilovemydog3682]

I tried showing my mom this and before I gave her the short description “it’s about 2 moms and one of the mom’s kid’s committed suicide-“ “yOu ShOulDn’T wATCh ThiNgs LikE tHat” and I just stared at her because she bought me the book...

[@flofaulkner8180]

**Slams fists onto a table** I would die for baby Evan, and little Connor and Zoey

[@viennacheng3912]

*punches the door* right there with you

[@BlueJay_125]

*smashes window* me too

[@Val-po4qi]

*breaks arm* same here

[@democracy.r0ckz]

@@Val-po4qi Can I sign your cast?

[@Val-po4qi]

@@democracy.r0ckz with honor

[@sirturtlelord4921]

Connor in the bedroom. Conner in the bedroom at a party.

[@distantmushroom5949]

Sir Turtle Lord BMC AND DEH CROSS OVER YAASS

[@wompwomp1457]

forget how long it’s been ;-;

[@alexanderhamilton5237]

He’s just Connor in the bedroom, Connor in the bedroom at a party

[@oscarthemoon]

@Remy sanders I'm waiting it out, till it's time to leave

[@mack4392]

Wrong musical. MICHAELLLL

[@MJ_71312]

Who else wanted to HUG Connor. DON’T EVER END IT ALL. Talk to someone Anyone

[@kaimikalaniYT]

Sometimes people aren’t willing to listen though..

[@Dippy__Draws]

Nicole The Author some people will use you to vent to...but won’t listen.

[@kaimikalaniYT]

[Dippy Draws] That was kinda my point..

[@Chimeranoko]

Nicole The Author well,,,,, I’m here. And many others in the comment section would genuinely care about you and your well being, despite the fact that we have never met, much less even know each others names. I think you are a good person,,,,, and I will listen.

[@darklordoftheuniverse7803]

I've been there trying to die won't help anything or anyone talk to some because you never know if it will help until you try

[@splatterdots2436]

I thought this said "in the bathroom down the hall", and when Heidi brought the box into Evan's room I thought she was packing stuff to go live in the bathroom

[@preciousjointer1413]

Splatter Dots 😂

[@everettkutzler5010]

Heidi in the bathroom at the greatest party of the fall

[@arospacecase]

Don't bring Michael into this he did nothing he just wants to smoke his slushy and drink his weed

[@capialandia6968]

Now I'm crying AND laughing

[@francisissleepy5300]

Now I'm just Heidi in the bathroom... Heidi in the bathroom... *At a party*

[@libbyheard3743]

"Is there a truck coming to take mommy away too?" me, looking dead inside: ….. Hey, mom? Where do we keep the spare glue? My heart broke again-

[@Medi_Idem]

LET ME CRY MOM

[@alvaroluizdeveczjunior382]

0

[@pixeloverrated8084]

PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME IN A TRUCK TOO MOM-

[@pizzaparty2241]

Flex tape can’t fix me

[@libbyheard3743]

holy shit this got so many likes skdjdj-

[@Notminecraft47]

IF EVANS SUICIDE ATTEMPT DIDNT FAIL THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH SADDER

[@AriOrSomething]

Take my like and stop making me cry.

[@Star-ou5gq]

OH MY GOD

[@ae1103]

Dammit-

[@lorenzoguerrero7520]

That may be the reason why this was cut from the musical.

[@skarlettsapphire4065]

I know this isn't what the comment is about, but what would have happend if Evan succeded? or what if Connor didn't even attempt?

[@QuietRage]

WHY THE HECK WAS THIS SONG REMOVED?! Its so beautiful and it draws that parallel between Evan's mom and Connor's mom even further than before. It gives us more context behind the trouble Connor was faced with before he committed suicide.

[@musicbyella3769]

Quiet Rage because the narrators didn’t think it was necessary. it may be a lovely song, but the show’s about evan, not connor. the song could be lifted and it would still make sense (obvi, as that happened) so it was unnecessary and needed to be cut.

[@musicbyella3769]

the narrators? i mean the writers lol

[@OliverNotTwist]

Yeah I get it but to be honest I feel like this song would actually have added to the story, like drawing parallels between Connor and Evan is really important 'cause it shows like, the flipside to the family's situations. The song is also about Evan and like, it would have been nice to get a glimpse into the real connor and not Evan's Connor. I understand why they cut it but :( i just really love this song

[@thatoneannoyingsoprano8066]

Quiet Rage it was removed because, ironically, it would have developed cynthia too much. she, along with larry, are supposed to be the living embodiment of the school, of the supporters of the connor project, etc. this song would have taken away from that.

[@Cryptidsquid66]

This is one of my favorites it always, ALWAYS makes me cry

[@星野しおりん]

“Pffft. I won’t cry with this”. Well, I was wrong. 100% wrong. But it was beautiful.

[@swag4rce]

I WOULD DIE FOR BABY EVAN, BABY CONNOR, AND BABY ZOE!!!!

[@rockymcgowan9551]

especially baby Connor

[@Tom-ip2bu]

Same

[@asanoyxki]

Casual Pickles I have seen you before... Oh, I remember! You started the lyric chain in the comments of "Sincerely me" :') *W H Y W O U L D Y O U W R I T E T H A T*

[@swag4rce]

Ryleigh Palmer already have!!! ;D

[@kawaiipotato2505]

I literally just found out that this song was removed from the musical. *I’m dead inside* ...Okay who do I need to hurt?

[@morganharris6648]

I JUST found out this song even existed. How could they have taken it out??

[@odr8843]

I didn't even know that the is was in a musical I also don't know which it's from!

[@soniasanchez3580]

@@odr8843 It's form Dear Evan Hansen

[@sarahkey763]

You need to hurt the creators of the musical

[@betteroffdead3823]

Why you gotta do me like that it hurted me lol

[@chiy_p]

THAT PERSPECTIVE THAT ANATOMY THAT SONG THESE FEELINGS THIS SCENARIO I'M DYING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[@arriathedragon8661]

*Whispers* So were they

[@chiy_p]

*_DID YOU JUST-_*

[@arriathedragon8661]

@@chiy_p :D

[@butterflytaster5553]

_you monster, you added the plane-flying and the Spiderman_

[@ChirimoSpring]

Dear everyone crying in the comments, have some tissues and a hug, you lovely people ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ Edit : Yes this is a deleted song, it's sung by the moms of Connor and Evan. This song was removed from the cast recording and stage performance but the demo can be found on the DEH channel

[@SashyyKane]

Chirimo tHANK YOU WE NEED THEM TO WIPE THESE TEARS

[@Sammy11611]

Chirimo thanks...

[@NatalieMySerenatta]

Thank you T--T

[@полнолуниеӨӨП]

MHMHMHMhMhmhmHMHmH DATS SOME GOOD ANIMATION HERE and I cRIED MY EYES OUT THANK YOU FOR D tısssssuuuueeeee

[@bexgarry4531]

Thanks angel~♡ 😢

[@etona6147]

Ah the feels.... Now I wanna see a musical dedicated to Connor's side of the story 😭

[@cy-cy5292]

ye is a deleted song

[@nuhuhitsgreywater]

I want to see that too! And it would show Connor's outburts at his family and walking away feeling guilty and show the true Connor instead of Evan's Connor.

[@etona6147]

poor baby ok Really?? Is that true? If so is it available to listen to? Edit: sorry if this is late lol

[@jaimeesummer5334]

Just read the book

[@sunnyskiessss1111]

I SHALL WRITE ONE-

[@grace7699]

I’m emo thanks dude .... I WANT TO HUG F I C T I O N A L PEOPLE BUT I CANT THAT IS SO FRUSTRATING

[@ttoastpie]

i want to like but there is 69 likes aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[@crisislite2650]

PREACH

[@bubblesoda6356]

Bro I feel the same I'll start twitching to, so to let out my hugs, I'll hug stuffed animals

[@magiv4205]

This is such a fucking mood lmao

[@galacticbreadboi9796]

The problems that come with throwing yourself into a fandom...

[@mr_oreoman]

I understand that To Break In A Glove was added to perceive Larry's section of the story, but come on, this song is absolutely amazing!!! It draws you closer to the Murphy's side of the story, as well as into a bit more of Heidi and Evan's. Honestly, it was completely unnessacery that this song wasn't put into the final production, if it were I'd be in the theatre literally sobbing. But To Break In A Glove... We didn't really need that. This is what we need. WE NEED EMOTION!!! Edit: I have come back 2 years later to say that I am hurt at the level of disrespect to "To Break in a Glove", it's a fantastic song that shares Larry's point of view. Yes, it may be slightly unnecessary, but without it, it would leave us lingering on what his true thoughts were. However, I do still agree that this song should have been incorporated into the show. Fingers crossed that it'll be in the movie.

[@kelivysir1036]

Ok right and the thing throughout most of the actual play they don’t let you get a look at Connor as a normal person this song makes you realize he’s not just his mental health issues he’s a person

[@Ray-hk1zm]

I honestly really like To Break In A Glove (it's still my least favorite song, but that doesn't mean I don't like it), but you're right, this is amazing. It's not like this is the longest song on the soundtrack, we could fit in a verse from Larry if they really wanted his perspective to be shared.

[@viennacheng3912]

I'm in that teeny crowd that has to break in a glove on their top list 😅 I just love how it shows more character development for Larry (which I feel is kinda important, since dads have a rep for being closed off and it's always nice when we can see further into what drove his decisions)and when he goes "or you're just tryna do your best for a kid who's lost control" I lose it every time. I think it's ok that this song got cut out tho, since we already have so big so small for Heidi's POV, and Cynthia's is already obvious throughout the majority of the show. But this song is still so good

[@Ray-hk1zm]

@@viennacheng3912 I agree, I just really like this song.

[@ilovedrawingstuff2395]

@@Ray-hk1zm hey you would like the book a lot because it shows us connors side to and why he did the things he did

[@musicallaround7347]

4:46-4:48 looks like Conner became half of Evan. Evan is starting to argue with his mom Heidi in act two and he starts dressing like Conner too. By the way I love you're vids!!!😁

[@uhuhuhfyck]

Here’s the real question; does TW stand for trigger warning or tissue warning? ;-;

[@arospacecase]

Both

[@cassiekittyy]

both

[@perrigoingseventeen]

Yes

[@julietteduran1023]

Tears

[@beomy99]

Both

[@achilles1399]

3:38 through 4:07 is what breaks my heart so much. Just seeing Connor’s suicide along with the picture of the pill bottle rolling out his hand as they sing “but I find that it was not.”

[@MidnightSkyeNeko]

This made me cry, but for different reasons. My thoughts have been getting really dark lately and those thoughts have passed through my head for the past month or so. This song reminded me that my pain isn't worth causing those I love to suffer, even though they know nothing about how I'm feeling. It made me cry because I don't want them to go to my room and pack up everything that used to be me...to make them only have me as a memory...because I know they have supported me because they love me so much and did everything for me so I could have a good life...i love them so much...

[@froppy6537]

Midnight Skye you honestly don't know how much this comment made me cry.

[@danielalt7054]

Every human on earth have a reason to stay and to live for I think you finally found yours :’) it just takes a little while to find them but- I should probably shut up

[@niamhmclarnon5870]

I'm crying.... Not because this song is so incredibly beautiful,.... But because.... I fear being a mom.. I'm only 18 and I know people say... Oh relax! You have the rest of your life to live!.... I know I probably sound ridiculous but..... I really don't think id be a good mom. And even if I was....... I know I'd fuck it up. Yet.... Then again... One side of me really wants to be a mom..... But I don't think I'll have a baby.... I think.... If I ever get my life together... I'll adopt. I will go to a Foster home and find a beautiful little girl or boy. They may wonder why I choose them. And someday.... I'll tell them why..... Because I wanted to give a kid something. Something was missing in my life..... That something was you

[@eamkie8392]

I relate. I literally bawled out while watching this because of the same reason

[@octoberfren2931]

Your comment made me burst into tears because you put it into words. I can't make my family go through that again.

[@dreamerkitten6683]

This makes me cry more so because a couple of months ago, I was like the boy who overdosed.I was so close to taking my own life. I had to drop out of school, and they called my mum in and told her that I had told them I wanted to die. Seeing the pain on her face tore me to shreds. That’s why I’m determined to keep on living, to stay happy, to fight so hard. Because my mum is the person who does everything to make me happy, and I just didn’t realise how much my misery affected her. I know nothing about DEH but oh my god did this make me sob.

[@secretlysanesparrow1152]

DreamerKitten It’s been a year and I hope you are doing better. Just remember that becoming happy and wanting to live life is something you have to do for yourself. You have to want to do it yourself, take care❤️

[@saanjalyvaishnav695]

you have no idea how much this comment made me cry. I hope you are doing better now

[@heidiburke7046]

just keep going. I can tell by this comment how much you love your mom and anyone who can love like that deserves to receive immense love in return and live their life fully and free of that torment. God bless you.

[@anna7434]

Hi, it's been two years, but I hope you're doing well!

[@ChewingGumIsCool]

Same honestly i feel so bad abut what I put them through

[@youre_totally_right_but_]

[CYNTHIA] You never liked this sweater You said it never really fit you right And it itched too much But I think I’ll keep it I should keep it Cause it still makes me think of you And that little boy I knew In the bedroom down the hall [HEIDI] In the bedroom down the hall I got you Ninja Turtle night-lights for protection You used to say they kept the bad guys far away Remember? In the bedroom down the hall I surprised you with that comic book collection Next Halloween I dressed you up like Wolverine Remember? With glow stars on the ceiling You could count instead of sheep I always knew which song to sing To get you right to sleep Anything to make you happy Anything at all Anything for my boy in the bedroom down the hall [CYNTHIA] In the bedroom down the hall We went to battle every evening after dinner I thought I knew some way that I’d get through to you Remember? In the bedroom down the hall We fought a war where no one walked away a winner 'Cause every day you pulled a little more away Remember? Saw the counselors and the clinics And the cures a mother tries Cause maybe they could take away that anger in your eyes [CYNTHIA & HEIDI] Anything to make you happy Anything at all Anything for my boy in the bedroom down the hall [CYNTHIA] Though you try [HEIDI] You try [CYNTHIA & HEIDI] To give your kid the world Give ‘em everything you’ve got [CYNTHIA] What if I Gave all I could And I thought it was enough But I find that It was not [HEIDI] What if I Gave all I could And I thought it was enough It was not [CYNTHIA] Did I let you down? [HEIDI] What else can I do? [CYNTHIA & HEIDI] Everything I ever did I did it all for you Anything to make you happy Anything at all Anything for my boy in the bedroom down the hall [CYNTHIA] In the bedroom down the hall I think I’ll wait another day to pack these boxes Cause once I’m through I’m left with just one thing to do Remember

[@ohnames8289]

This makes it clearer to understand, thanks.☺

[@grxce1128]

does cynthia sing the higher note?

[@mexican_bacon4999]

grxce Heidi sings the higher note :)

[@gwurbo]

or press 'c' like a functional human being would

[@kissramz]

you know, until they split notes I really thought it was just cynthia singing 🤣

[@jazparal]

Dear Evan hansen is a heartfelt musical, the story line is amazing... Some people may say that it's overrated but it shows things that people out there are dealing with. Anxiety, being without a father, fights, suicide, even though the last one pains me to say it, it still happens. And with Connor and Evan throughout the musical, when they're talking, Evan is imagining it, his subconscious is showing a side of Connor that Evan had created. Parents go through hard times, and that's what Cynthia and Hedi showed in this musical, but I think it's a beautiful musical, down to the story line to the actors, it's very well written.... And even this cut song shows the feeling of Heidi and Cynthia's pain to know Evan and Connor meant so much to them, that they were doing anything to help them.

[@faitherpietem3643]

I hope you'll see this, here goes... prepare for a tumble of emotions "Is there another truck coming to take Mommy away?" Tears just fell. I look at Evan's innocence as a child. And then I see the scene where young Zoe and young Connor played happily together. They were so carefree, so loving, so innocent. Then to the scene where Cynthia buried her face in Larry's shoulders, grieving for Connor. Zoe just looked away angrily. I like the way you potrayed the children slowly drifting away from their family. When Connor hit his mum, his expression spelled regret and sadness before he slammed the door and started crying. He didn't mean to cause so much grief. But he felt there was nothing he could do about it. Cynthia did, try EVERYTHING she could just to make older Connor happy.... so did Heidi, she bought stuff that Evan liked, just for him. She did everything, like Cynthia, to make Evan happy, even though the methods sometimes didn't work Your art style is beautiful and the different frames just flow along perfectly. I LOVE THIS I need tissues now, arghhh (SOMEONE TELL ME WHY WAS THIS SONG DELETED?) P.s if you've read all the way here comment "cookies" thanks

[@bennyboiart7781]

Faitherpie tEM cookies😁

[@shaistazee]

🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

[@kittynoir361]

COOKIES >:D 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

[@huntersombra3821]

Cookies. You did a great job explaining some of the things they did in the animatic I didn’t catch. Thanks!

[@purplehc662]

cookies. and also tissues I need em

[@arkwing_7174]

Connor seemed like such a happy child. Jesus why does my heart hurt so much.

[@xXxJason_ToddxXx]

I wish they had kept this in the final track. I loved the Murphy family, but this song makes it abundantly clear that the mother LOVED Connor and she truly, honestly did try to help him, he just slipped through the cracks. It makes the fact she couldn't save him even more devastating, but it also somehow is a relief to see that not everyone was indifferent to this kid. It also shows another side to Evan's mom, who is mostly portrayed as a loving but extremely busy and at times absent mother. This too shows that she's more than aware of her son's issues and she cares very much and wants to help = she just didn't have the answers.

[@invisiblelocket4994]

I’m not ashamed to say I cried, especially when I saw Connor grab the bottle of pills and run away. WHY DOESN’T THIS HAVE MORE VIEWS ITS A PIECE OF ART

[@justadanette5017]

*ugly sobbing in the conner down the hall*

[@MaluShuu]

Br >:v

[@aaaaaaa-vm1oi]

I thought I read this wrong and it took me so long before I got the pun XD

[@mehspacedorito]

I’m not one of the people to cry or feel actual pain in my chest because of a musical, but this actually hurt me with emotion. My chest is in pain because I feel so sad and hurt. This is so beautiful. You’re a master. Thank you so much for putting your work into this.

[@mehspacedorito]

I didn’t think I’d cry watching this, but I just did. Thank you.

[@sharonefee1426]

@@mehspacedorito If it makes you feel better... it's totally not the first song to do so.

[@sunshi4929]

*“ I think I’ll wait another day to pack these boxes, cause once I’m through, I’m left with just one thing to do; remember.”* -i cried-

[@sunnysky3766]

"You might need a tissue" Me: pff yeah right *1 minute into video* Me: crying Personally I wished I had a mom that'd do anything for me

[@pappanalab]

I think you need a hug *sending virtual hug* owo

[@hannahhamric7284]

I know how you feel, praying for you 🙏🏻

[@sarcasticsparkles]

I wish I had a mom who would do something besides treat me like her property instead of a human with feelings

[@ahjaigirdar464]

I wish i had a mom who would love me and care about me without me doing something for her i wish she'd bring me up and help me rather than drag me down and hurt me i wish my mom would understand im human im gonna mess up thats apart of life i wish she'd listen

[@bandobssesd6190]

I relate to all of your comments, that’s the exact same way my mom is towards me, and it hurts, I wish I had a mother who I felt loved me...

[@bluesish1350]

I saw the title and I was so confused I forgot musicals have deleted songs AND BOY WAS I NOT READY FOR THIS OML 😭

[@ClassicDepravities]

I have been suicidal most of my life. It's actually easier to remember when I wasn't, because it's such a short period of time. I've attempted three times, and so far I've made it through. It's been slow, getting into and liking Dear Evan Hansen, because it reminds me of those times, but it handles it pretty well. my point is this was beautiful

[@nothingxx3632]

evilhopscotch I'm glad to hear that :)

[@okiguess2313]

If you end up seeing this, I just want you to know that there are people who care. Every day you decide to continue living is an accomplishment and victory against the toxic suicidal feelings. I have felt hopeless, worthless, like no one cared, I could go on. I can confirm that I have and currently do struggle with suicidal thoughts. And maybe my problems may not be intense as yours, but the message I want to send is that you matter. Keep going. Don’t give in or give up.

[@scuffleswaffles2243]

You are strong :)

[@katiestephens1842]

My cousin succeeded. If we had of gotten to him sooner mabey it could have been stopped. PLEASE dont do it. No matter how badly you want to. I am just one of the billions of people who want you to stay as long as possible on this planet with us. I CARE! I AM HERE! and if you EVER need to talk i am always avaliable!!! Its a big think to admit publicly (i know from experience) and i am proud and utterly amazed at your courage. If u have tried and failed 3 times than you are ment to be here and it it not ur time yet! U are importent and fate still has use of u yet!! We love u !!

[@offtopic6364]

Everything you said was accurate for me too but i've attempted only twice. One was in 2018 and second in 2019. I was going to do it a second time in 2019 but I didn't

[@anab3213]

I don't know if you'll see this, but I'll write it anyway This is one of the best DEH animatics out there in my opinion. First, your art style is beautiful and the characters look amazing. Second, the animation is great and only adds more to the animatic and gives it more life. Third, the way you portray emotions is astonishing. You can really feel Cynthia's grief, Heidi's pain and Evan and Connor's struggles. Also, i actually love how you portrayed Connor. You didn't make him an angel who did no wrong like some people try to make him seem, but you made it obvious that he wasn't just a horrible person either. You made a perfect balance to show he wasn't pure evil nor completely innocent, he was very troubled. And i love that. (And the fact that you showed him and Evan with nice childhoods makes me happy but sad that things changed so much) Thanks for killing me emotionally ♥ And by the way, YOU DESERVE WAY MORE SUBSCRIBERS

[@ChirimoSpring]

Aaaa thank you! This might be one of the nicest comments I’ve ever received,, And wow, you actually hit the nail on everything I wanted to portray in this, especially Connor, since he was a real struggle for me to interpret.

[@anab3213]

Chirimo No problem! And yeah, it must be a struggle to be able to properly portray someone so complicated and troubled, but you did it perfectly! I love it when people put so much effort into showing people's true motives, thoughts and feelings, and its one of my favorite things artists sometimes do, because i love analyzing stuff and people. I really look forward to seeing more stuff from you, already subscribed! You are an incredible artist, and i got that from watching only one of your videos, so that says a lot ^_^ (Oh and thanks for responding :D made my day)

[@cleoartie7565]

The entire time i was thinking 'SOMETHING BAD IS COMING, AND IM GONNA CRY' Then he killed him self and im just 'I KNEW IT, IM CRYING, MUMAAA, I LOVE YOU!'

[@pappanalab]

me too T - T

[@maddy495]

I'm not crying, you are! okay but real talk, I lost it when he goes "So you think I'm a freak too?!"

[@redgoldcrown3990]

deadass me too, I have also felt like a freak since about the time I started grade school, I wish my parents had done anything but try to reassure me that I was normal. because I'm not normal, no amount of telling me so will make me normal, and all they did was make me afraid that if they saw the real me they'd think he was a freak too.

[@OliverNotTwist]

This is the most beautiful animatic I have seen for any fandom. I am literally in pain, like my heart aches for these mothers and for Connor and Evan. This was beautifully done, and the moments where you showed baby Connor and Evan and the way you mention 'So Big So Small' and and and and I could go on but my point is you deserve the world and this is my favourite thing

[@hoshidraws8990]

"so the conselors and the clinics and the cures a mother tries Cause maybe they could take away that anger in your eyes" That part hit me a lot My mother have been trying medications after medications, between prescriptions and no-prescription meds, just to try and help me, to make me happy. But sadly, none works She has made me see a lot of social workers, therapists, psychoEducators, doctors, Pedopsychologist etc, just so we could try to help me. The number of times I had to go to the emergency because the school was fearing for my safety. I feel really bad for her.. I never wanted to make her go through that.

[@marinazuniga2418]

It's our turn to do our part.

[@sleeplessshinso5103]

I wish I could say the same about my parents. They, however, don't believe in mental illness and think that I'm faking it. I've even been diagnosed with stuff right in front of them, yet they don't want me getting help. They think everything has to be natural. I need help! That's what I need, and they refuse to get it for me. They say that nothing is wrong and it's all in my mind. That's what mental illness is! Plus, I'm going through a particularly rough patch lately, and it's hurting me a lot. I just want this all to be over. I can't even speak to people anymore. I can't even feel like I belong anywhere anymore, I just feel like I'm isolated in my own stupid world. I was okay when I was getting treatment, then they cancelled my appointments and took me off of my meds. I wish my parents understood more, and actually acknowledged my mental health. Sorry, I saw your comment and accidentally wrote out a rant, which I tend to do often.

[@marinazuniga2418]

@@sleeplessshinso5103 Oh, Madelynn. I-I don't know what to say. Really... And please forgive me for that. 😢 But I can't just read this comment without acknowledging your efforts. I hope you are not going through this alone. Even if you're parents are like that, I wish you have friends to help you through it. If you don't, I'm willing to send all my vitual hugs to you. If you need a friend to chat to, I can be there to listen. 😊

[@ainimimin]

I haven't told anyone about whatever it is I'm feeling. Depression? Probably. Anxiety? Probably. I also looked up and found out that I probably have Atichiphobia. Insomnia? Probably. Trust Issues? ..Most likely. I don't have any major issues in my life but I tend to keep things bottled up because whenever I cry people always question why it is I'm crying or just point out that I'm being a crybaby or weak so I've tended to not cry in front of others and well it just stacked up in me and I guess this happened. Tried telling someone and they didn't take it seriously. Told me I was overreacting and to get over it. It's been 4? 5 years? And no I still haven't gotten over it. I probably should get help or tell someone but I'm too scared. Guess I'm a coward And I hope you get better ^^

[@KyrstOak]

@@sleeplessshinso5103 That's an odd thought process they have, especially considering help *_is_* natural. What do you do if you can't get your car out of the gutter or mud? Ask for help 'cause nobody has the strength of the Hulk.

[@sienamarina16]

2:46 is when I start sobbing and 3:05 is where I start balling 4:54 is where my mom comes in and asks if im ok and I give her a hug

[@ainimimin]

1:30 is when I start tearing up and then I just start sobbing and bawling the rest the video

[@angeIdusst]

"So the counselors and the clinics and the cures a mother tries 'Cause maybe they could take away that anger in your eyes" Damn, why do i feel like i'm Connor and Cynthia is my mother all the time????

[@lark2319]

4:12 “Everything I ever did, I did it all for you!” That’s what got me.

[@crazygamer_1082]

I feel like the only difference between Connor and Evan (in the musical, like family wise) is Evan DIDN’T die. Imagine if it was Evan instead of Connor. I feel the story might still be the same. Or maybe they both would have died. Like, they both would have killed themselves. IDK. Tell what you guys think would happen if it was Evan instead of Connor.

[@bellabennett1677]

CrazyGamer_108 maybe connor would have lived? Because there was the added presure that evan liked zoe, so if you take away that note then connor would have died at a later date. Edit: i dont think this realted, idek but yeet

[@audreyneal6168]

I don’t believe that. although they share depression there are some major differences. For one thing they dealt with their mental health differently, with Conor lashing out anytime anything went wrong whereas, with even, he did the opposite; he became more withdrawn. They both have a longing to be liked but I think the story would have changed drastically as Conor would find it much harder to make the connections Evan did in the musical due to his temper. There’s also the fact that Evan’s anxiety is what drove the plot along at first. Those lies wouldn’t have been told if Evan wasn’t anxious, something we don’t really see in Connor. Not to mention that Evan lacks family figures wich isn’t something Conor is lacking meaning they have very diffrent reasons for wanting connections. Honestly, they are very different people longing for different (although similar) things. They both serve their own role and it wouldn’t be the great story it is if you could just switch the leads. That’s what makes them unique.

[@girlyweirdo4658]

CrazyGamer_108 I hear a new AU arising

[@Puppee101]

honey, theres a ton of AUs for the swapped roles of connor and evan, and though some are innaccurate in my opinion, they're all sad--

[@rosariourielmariebelviz5502]

I dont think it would be the same since the whole mess of lying started with the "Dear Evan Hansen" letter, but since if he died which was before school started, Connor never knew Evan existed along with the "Dear Evan Hansen" letter

[@multifriskyyy]

3:43 It’s just Connor in the bathroom by himself...

[@ocalimirosubso]

all by himself..

[@ducks_void]

Nothing bad will happen right...? Well...I hope

[@Dave-cw2mj]

Me: I am so happy right now! Nothing can change that! This song: ............. *_ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT_*

[@CJCruz-rf9vz]

I don't think Connor has only depression and anxiety. I think he has BPD I mean it makes sense; He has emotional outbursts; Rocky relationship with family; Self-Harm/Self Injure; Doesn't like getting therapy; Feeling of emptiness It's kinda possible, to be honest. Edit: I can't believe this was one year ago...Welp, I'm gonna go and pretend this never existed and continue to lurk on tumblr. For the people who might see this in the near future, do not @ttack me or anyone, I was only suggesting and I was impulsive enough to write it the way I did so chill and ignore this and continue to cry. If these musicals have thought me anything is to be honest, think before doing anything and if you go out there and be an asshole who can't keep your mouth shut then there's a bigger fish just waiting to eat you whole. Have a good day, don't lock yourself in a room all day during hours and situations like this and wash your hands.

[@naechan1779]

@be more heather kleinsen The BPD would (probably) also explain that, beacuse hostility is a possible symptom of this disorder.

[@watermelonsugar8894]

...What's BPD?

[@watermelonsugar8894]

@If You're Reading This, You're an Idiot ok thx

[@secretlysanesparrow1152]

Well, that is a possibility but everyone experiences depression and anxiety differently. I also think they were trying to show the bad effects that suicide has on people. I don’t know if they really thought about the actual illness very much. That is a good theory though.

[@bloofaloof]

@@watermelonsugar8894 BPD is Borderline Personality Disorder.

[@cirius7019]

"I gave everything I could and I thought it was enough but I find that it was not" Holy shit that hit hard. I don't have a kid but this reminds me of my little brother. I'm the only one he talks to about his depression and I'm scared for the day when talking to me won't be enough

[@julietteduran1023]

Hopefully it's all good...

[@pingpongball90]

My broski, I know this is really late, but go give your brother the biggest hug EVER. Tell him that he is amazing and deserves love. Tell him he's worth it.

[@silverhawking]

Was... was that Spiderman costume a reference to A Little Bit of Light? And the zoo, and the picnic? *distant sobbing* I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine...

[@somebody2772]

I love how you conveyed Connor in this. Like on the other side of the door. Showing how sorry Connor felt. I just love how we see Connor in this!

[@deemsekow]

1:40 The way she says sleep makes me feel a certain way. A way I’ve never felt before. Warm, like I’m being hugged by something that is.... happy? calming? loving? I have an amazing family, but that voice... it’s just. Indescribable.

[@teciitooo]

‪« TW ‪»‬ You know, everytime I listen to this song, I can’t help but start crying. I have been diagnosed with borderline some time ago. One year ago, I went through my first suicide attemp. I tried overdosing with pills, but was stopped before doing something else by my mum. She was crying when she took me to the hospital, and asked why I’d tried to do that. Even if at that time I was too disociated to pay attention, when rethinking about that moment was when I truly realized how much I’d hurt her if I killed myself. We usually take our mother’s (or father’s) love for granted. And this song just makes me remember how much my mum cares for me, and how hurt she would be if I had succeeded in my attempt. Remember to stay safe and healthy, and that we always have someone out there that is willing to help us if needed. 💖 (( btw, this animatic is beautiful. i love the way you draw facial expression, it’s so amazing. one of my favorite animations on DEH’s songs. 💕 ))

[@lulujay5866]

I'm glad you're still here. I hope you're on medication? Thanks for reminding everyone who reads this the important yet overlooked truth ❤️❤️

[@absolutenewb8879]

*waves fly swatter in air BACK FEELS, BACK I SAY

[@witchyboygirlthing3960]

Love that XD

[@zellaroonie]

YES YES YES OH MY GOD FINALLY SOMEBODY HAS MADE ONE!!! Update: iM CRYING ON THE BUS NYALL

[@alexalson645]

Just got home from the beach today and I think I still got some saltwater in my eyes that aRE *DEFINITELY* NOT TEARS

[@junipaca7275]

I WAS WAITING FOR THIS ANIMATIC AND YOU!!! EXECUTED IT SO BEAUTIFULLY IM GOING TO CRI WHERE ARE YOUR SUBS IM STILL YELLING

[@Father_of_Death]

What's even sadder is that Cynthia tried to get Connor help. Maybe, she didn't have consistency with resources but she was so damn determined to be there for her son. Connor's death probably hit her the hardest. It's so sad when a mother loses one of her children.

[@anxiety_disaster]

Just seeing them as happy kids, then seeing how troubled they become makes me cry inside. I want to hug them but I can't 😫😭

[@reviilutionarie]

I wasn't even aware that Cynthia AND Heidi were singing-I thought it was just Cynthia at first. Anywho, this animatic was SO well-made, and the talent and creativity put into this is astounding. You could see how Connor regrets his actions and how he's not some horrible heathen other people viewed him as. Additionally, you used this b e a u t i f u l song that's kind of under appreciated, since it was cut out, so I'd rate this a true 11/10 :D

[@lilydoesstuff9610]

*senpai posts a beautifull animatic* IEJEBJD IM H E R E

[@hannahbananno2679]

producers: removing this song everyone: *you have invented a new kind of stupid-*

[@maryhirota540]

I wish I could hug Connor why was this cut from the soundtrack I'm HYSTERICALLY SOBBING

[@crystalvitagliano6381]

"I got you Nina turtle night lights for protection" Me trying to make a joke so I'm not sad: if that's what you use then I'm surprised you don't have more kids ... *joke wears off and I start crying again*

[@SakuraYuki112Jr]

I thought I could get through this without crying. And I almost did. Until the end there when Connor's ghost shows up after his mom closes the bedroom door. Just- that did it. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. The dam has busted open. This was so beautifully done too btw. Just- dang.

[@brendaeck4290]

my mom: “Sweetie, are you ok?“ Me crying and sobbing throwing my phone at the wall screaming: “ *EVAN AND CONNOR I SWEAR TO GOSH-* “ “Yeah im totally fine“ *Me also wanting to protect Evan And Connor more than anything:*

[@almondsmallbrain9371]

Five years later and your wonderful animatic STILL makes me tear up.

[@NYANJI-1]

This is a really good animatic dude! Also, is Evan wearing Conner’s hoodie at the end, representing Evan pretending to be Conner? If so, damn that’s so well thought out skjsksks

[@missylks1239]

Oh mom, there's only so much you can do when your son feels like everyone his own age hates him. And generally, pressuring him out of social isolation doesn't make things any better.

[@Teacakes03]

1:35 I still have those glow stars on my ceiling from when I was little. I’ve been meaning to take them down for some time but I think I might keep em up for a bit longer :)

[@scaratron8926]

Yeah I told myself I wouldn’t cry but then Hedi’s any thing to make you happy made me burst out into tears in a fancy ass restaurant. Bro now that I rewatch it Cynthia’s Line made me cry

[@scaryhallway]

i don’t cry easily, and i genuinely sobbed my eyes out over this. holy heck. you captured cynthia’s pain so fucking well i cant even describe??? and heidi just trying to do the best christ and the boys when they were younger and the loss of innocence? and the mothers frustration with not knowing where their sons went? how did you do that. how am i actually genuinely crying. i cant believe This

[@katelensworld]

This is the only "Broadway" song/animatic so far that has made me cry, and it's not even in the show. And i don't cry easy. I am a hardcore theater kid but I still don't cry at the final show

[@youtubeaccount2904]

I though this was a different version of Micheal in the Bathroom I am now crying regretting my decision

[@Thefoxthatbecameawolf]

2:36 that moment of resignation. When you are like " What am I even pretending? I can't fix anything" I know that feeling so well.... This is sad T_T

[@RANGER_BAGELS]

i’ve attempted twice, thought of trying again. but then i thought of my mom. i’m not even 15, not close. i first attempted at 9, then in late October of 2023. i can’t tell my mom, this animatic.. everything about it. it would break her. she lost her mom to cancer. i never met her. my mom always fought with my grandma, i don’t want the same for me and my mom. she’s sometimes rude, so i’m rude back. and i feel bad cause of all she’s lost.. when i say this has been the only animatic to manage to make me cry, i was on the floor sobbing. i have to watch this in bits cause it’s too overwhelming to watch it all at once

[@pho_is_not_interesting]

Damn dude i get you a lot. Started attempting since 9, I'm 15 now

[@AudreyOke]

I love how the captions warn us we might need tissues. Yes. Yes we definitely will need them.

[@Victoria-zu9yp]

You know, back then this video saved my life in one of the darkest moments I had. 4 years later, I'm still here. Thank you

[@hee-tonin2218]

This brought me back to the time the mom of my boyfriend, and I were packing his things from his apartment into this brown boxes and while we were carrying it to the truck waiting outside I hear this sudden clutter and when I looked back, she was slumped on the ground, the contents of the box she was carrying spilled all around her and she was just crying. It broke my heart seeing her like that. This video made me bawl out my eyes.

[@Crispii1t]

*That moment when this is the first time you’ve ever heard the song and you start scrolling through the comments and have no idea what anyone is talking about*

[@user-pe8uk4mi8y]

There. Are. Tears. The way you made this it was simply beautiful. The style, the way you portrayed the parents and young evan and connor. Its all just great. I really love the part that got me to tears. Those certain parts that got me crying was when connor got the pills and at the end with his ghost. This is the first animatic that has drove me to tears. Thank you for this. Edit: I'M WATCHING THIS AGAIN AND I'M SOBBING.

[@mickeysquibbles6693]

*ITS COOL- DIDNT NEEDMY HEART ANYWAY*

[@trinilagos5957]

"everything to make you happy" hits different

[@ShadowDuelist15]

I'm just finding out about this now and MY HEART- this actually reminds me of how my family and i were trying to figure out what we wanted to keep of my dad and what we didn't after he died. I remember it being hard on both me and my mom to even look at stuff either he owned or gave to us after his deployments (he was in the military). MY HEART x2

[@siennamutarelli]

This hit me really hard, because I know I'm starting to do this to my mother, and I hate to see her in pain but I'm just so depressed, I keep everything from her. A mother and their daughter's (or son's or a-gender's) relationship should consist of love all around and I haven't given that to her. I have felt like suicide is the only option since I was 7 years old (I had told her I wanted to go into our kitchen, grab a knife and stab myself in the neck) when my mother and father were fighting all the time, but I haven't attempted suicide or self harmed because I think how much she would hurt having her me gone, even though I dont show her love. Anyway enough of me venting, this is a very well done animatic, I LOVE your beautiful design. Great job!

[@armadilloalien854]

Christiiine Canigula suicide is never a solution we only feel suicidal because we want to live happily. Suicide doesn’t do that, but I understand how you feel. Although I found out ways to make me happy like mediating and solutions like that. That helps.

[@siennamutarelli]

Korra Light Thank you, I'm looking for ways to cope, a therapist would be the best option, but I dont want to put my mom (who is already broke) to pay more money for me to be happy. I am starting to get into meditating, so I think that will help a lot. :)

[@armadilloalien854]

Christiiine Canigula Drinking tes is also good. Also making sure to eat something when you finish school. Also good for you!

[@siennamutarelli]

Korra Light Thank you I'll try that!

[@bennyboiart7781]

Hold On, Chord Overstreet. It helped me not to.

[@emo3465]

this is the saddest music in dear evan hansen and nothing more matters more than my opinion

[@whispering_raine]

I just realized that my room is the bedroom down the hall and I'm now grossly sobbing-

[@ClinicalDaisy]

My brothers bedroom was down the hall. Since I moved out he’s been in my old bedroom but this song honestly made me have some weird dreams.

[@Lily-ko4jz]

honestly the representation of Connors depression is so realistic even if we only see it a few times. this isn't true for everyone obviously. but depression absolutely can come out as anger, that's how it came out for me and my sister, mine was situational based and did go away. her's was something she just developed and probably wont go away, but she's managing it and far less angry. in the few scenes we do see Connor, I very much see how my sister was when things got bad. we got the happy ending. unfortunately that not how it went for the characters and that's not how it always goes for families irl. this musical has a way of making me sob like a lil baby man.

[@nico-vo4kd]

is it only me who seems to cry more and more each time I watch it? (i think my mom is concerned) also the video is aMAZING the animating is super good and the drawing style is beautiful. very good addition to the songa and it makes it 10× more emotional ;-;

[@emily-bi5on]

I was like, I won't cry, I won't cry, and I was doing great until the white-outlined Connor and then just the dam broke

[@justenoughforacoffee]

One how do you draw hands so good?Two, wow this was amazing and I was near tears especially when you showed how Connor pushed Cynthia (think I got her name right I always mess her name up) on impulse and holy, that hit home for me. And the "So you think I'm a freak too" yep said it to my mom. That one hurt. So this hit close to home and it's hard to get me to cry over a video. Well done. brava. Brava. (I believe you are female I apologize if you are actually male. If you are make bravo not brava.)

[@danielmia5953]

Isn't Bravo the same for both? I mean Bravo is an expression in this sense, not the adjective for angry. It's Bravo anyways

[@Hey-Its-Dingo]

@@danielmia5953 From my understanding, Italian is a very gendered language. The spelling of words is almost entirely dependent on who you are talking to. (At least that's what I learned in my Social Studies class in HS, but I'm American, they could have taught us wrong)

[@danielmia5953]

@@Hey-Its-Dingo bravo it's simply an expression, is not gendered.

[@Hey-Its-Dingo]

@@danielmia5953 But it isn't English. In a lot of other languages many different words are gendered to who you are speaking to. I looked it up Brava/Bravo are congratulations, meaning you give them to someone, therefore they are gendered by who you are giving congratulations to. Bravo for a male performer, brava for a female performer, and bravi for an ensemble or gender-nuetral performer.

[@danielmia5953]

@@Hey-Its-Dingo Dude, I'm a spanish speaker I know what I'm talking about. Bravo is just an expression so it isn't gendered. If it was the adjective for angry it would be gendered but it's just an expression. Well at least that's how it works in spanish. Gender-neutral conjugations??? That's honestly unheard of.

[@sugarqbs]

I like this song as a perspective for Evan’s Mom, Heidi, so much better than Good For You. It’s partly because I identify with a lot of Evan’s behaviors and issues so it hits too hard to hear his mom absolutely tear into him for doing what he could. Evan’s deception is a horrible act that does a lot of lasting damage to the people around him but it’s really not out of self-interest or malice as much as deluded self-preservation so, like everyone in the show, he feels like more of a victim than a villain. The parallels between Cynthia and Heidi and between Evan and Connor are so effective in this moment: Evan’s depression turned entirely inward, but apart from that they are incredibly similar in how their condition tears their lives apart despite their best attempts and the well-meaning support of their mother figures. I don’t think Evan should get away with what he does. To me, that inevitable moment where he confesses to his mistakes and loses (what he feels to be) everything is enough. Evan and Connor both did horrible things to the people that cared about them because they were in too much immediate pain to act righteously, and I just feel that that is fundamentally morally different from someone who chooses to act against someone else’s interests.

[@GoblinLord]

Legitimately Connor is the character I relate to the most in all of fiction, right next to maybe JD maybe it's cause my life has been fucked up like JD or maybe it's cause I'm fucked up like Connor not to say Connor's like, fucked up, but he's broken, not by his parents' hands but by his very nature. That's what's so sad about all of this, is that in reality it was almost predestined. His mindset wasn't built to handle love or anything else. Connor is a broken kid who got overwhelmed by one bad day. Sometimes on bad day is all it takes to send someone over the edge. I know, I almost committed suicide at least once, I didn't go through with it. You better be damn sure I thought about it though, I've subconsciously idolized it. Sometimes I wonder how the world would be like if I never was born, or if I suddenly disappeared. Sometimes you just have to fight it and spit in it's face, fight the depression, the anxiety, the borderline personality disorder, the bipolar, the add. Whatever you have, whatever problems you have, whatever fight you're facing. Just remember, everyone is fighting their own demons, and sometimes those demons win. You just have to push on and survive, you have to remember you're worth it. You are you and nobody can ever take that away from you. Sometimes life gets you down and sometimes you get yourself down. It's not your fault. It's not anyone else's fault. It's just the way it is, but that doesn't mean it has to be that forever. Sometimes, you just gotta get bigger weapons than your troubles have and fight them until you come on top. For anyone who reads this, I hope you all are doing fantastically and that you can find joy in your life. For those who are reading this and may be going down the same path as me, remember, when you're at the bottom, you can only go up. People are there for you, but you can't do anything if you aren't there for yourself.

[@Sillysleepiness]

God I'm crying... You spoke so perfectly, I have nothing to add. From a mental illness battler to another, thank you. I feel like I've been seen, and that means the world to me.

[@GoblinLord]

@@Sillysleepiness damn, glad I helped, I'm in a better place now, so I don't relate as much to my younger self, but I'm really glad I could help. Even if I kinda cringe at the hoky poky stuff I wrote, I think I was trying to be optimistic at the end because of how much sad I wrote, I still relate to the characters, but I think they helped me get passed their problems

[@GoblinLord]

catch other comment me writing "I'm not crying, you're crying"

[@GoblinLord]

Also, don't forget, an important thing to remember is "don't be afraid to ask for help" a good support system (which may or may not be your parents, don't assume your parents are perfect, that's an easy trap to fall into) is the BEST way to get better outside of just, "fake it till ya make it" sorry if this sounds super corny, you've probably heard it thousands of times

[@Sillysleepiness]

@@GoblinLord Yes it may be corny, but it's also the truth. I've sought help in the past and it saved my life back then. I'd love to say that I'm now completely fine but as you probably know, recovery is a winding road. Sometimes it's earier to be happy, and other times not so much... Today was one of the latter, and I found your writing to be truly comforting and relatable. I love my family to bits but as you stated, they aren't perfect. Hecc, I'm not perfect either, as much as I maybe wanted to be, so how could I expect that they are? That would be unfair of me... But I also can not deny that I sometimes wish that they understood me a little better. It's tough to try to filter yourself each and every day just so you don't cause a scene and make everyone you love worried. I know that it's okay to talk to them and to cry and to be sad, but at the same time I fear that it'll lead to nitpicking every little thing I say or do and bringing it back to those conversations. It wouldn't be the first time. But I'm really happy to hear that you're doing better - gives me hope that I can too in the future. I've actually already felt better in between these bumbs in the road, so this too will eventually pass. Being heard - nothing less, nothing more - is a great feeling. So thank you, once more.

[@Scatterbrained_Watching]

Told myself I wouldn’t cry. *yet here we are, sobbing*