Dementia Communication Tips for strange behavior

[@tomdye1526]

You give great advice my wife had dementia I took care of her for 20 years she finally passed in August 27, 2001 but your information is really great and I appreciate everything thank you so much keep up the good work

[@billbernhard3582]

A hearty "thank you" to Dr Edmonds ! Connection, in a personal way, even for a short time, makes a big difference to the patient and to the care-giver. "join their world" - I really like that ! Making what matters to them, matter to you !

[@melmcd100]

Thank you so much, Dr. Natalie! The time and the care you put into your videos is so helpful. The Vera approach is so kind and respectful and will no doubt be very effective.

[@DementiaCareblazers]

You are so welcome!

[@lanetterippeto3730]

Exactly. I had a friend and her mother always trying to correct the dementia mother and grandmother

[@4classtime]

This is brilliant. And your explaination and example were so clear and helpful. You are a wonderful teacher.

[@denisesavoye6884]

Thank you so much for your kindness and caring. We really appreciate these Utube videos. It helps my sister and I a lot in dealing with our mother.

[@reynardfoxx6753]

Thank you Dr.Natalie. My mom has recently developed word word retrieval problems &is having a hard time finding words to communicate. I feel so bad for her cuz it's so frustrating. I'm trying to be patient & let her think but end up playing guessing games. I will try the vera approach, redirect. Sometimes I feel like you are my private consultant when I have a problem as a caretaker. 🙏

[@romainerancier6678]

I wish I watched this before I went to visit my mom in MC today. When my daughter and I said we would be getting ready to go, she was angry and upset that she was not coming with us and that she was being "left with people she doesn't know". We brought her to a caregiver, a couple of her resident friends took her hand. I admit to feeling a bit panicked, as she has not responded to my leaving in this way in a long time. I can think of other ways I could have handled it. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge with us. I will look at that VERA info you linked.

[@orthodudeness]

YES! At first, a few years back, I would correct and try to explain actions and problems. Then I thought about just observing what she was doing, and trying to figure that out. Watching her do things, a lot of the times those things made no sense. And, the things she would say made no sense. Her speech was actually sort of reversed. Such as, I would ask if she would like dinner now. She would say no, I don't care about dinner. Her very next words were....when's dinner? She will look at me and say she doesn't want any coffee. I bring her coffee, she says thank you, just what I wanted. This has become a regular thing for me to watch out for. Her fiddling with every thing in the house used to drive me nuts. After observing her, it became clear that what she was doing was satisfying to her. She looked pleased, and e=was pleased that she was doing something that needed to be done. Like putting some dishes outside, carefully tearing pages out of magazines, then wrapping most anything in those pages. Job well done in her mind, showed on her face. Quite often those things she wraps up will be 1 of my socks, or something I will have to search for later. The search for things, is a daily job for me now. I have all cabinets locked, washing machine locked, but, not the dryer, or the dish washer. So....clothes get in the dish washer, dishes get in the dryer. Also sometimes things wrapped up get placed in those appliances as well. This used to send me over the edge! A few years back. Now....it's humorous stuff. Humor has got me through a lot. She is serious about what she does all day. It clearly gives her a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. Even though my socks are gone somewhere!! She laughs from time to time. Most of her time she is in another place, only she knows of. Heartbreaking, she seems so lost. But she is busy doing something that she may or may not understand. So...here I am. This routine mostly sucks. Starts the same way every morning, ends the same way everyday, no change. She falls asleep in her recliner. I wake her carefully. Remove her slippers. She says it's cold. I tell her the blanket is on and warm. She likes that. Then I take hold of her hands and say lets go to bed now. She comes forward a little, then we count, 1-2-3. Then I help her stand. I take her right hand and lead her to bed. Pull back covers, she climbs in, says how warm it feels. She gets tucked in and falls quickly asleep. Only to get a few minutes to a few hours to go to the bathroom. Sometimes, about twice a month, she gets up at 3am. Then 4 am, then 5am. Then stays up. Fiddling and turning lights on and off. Those are tough days for me. That is just how it goes.

[@cherylcalac8485]

You’re a good man!

[@DementiaCareblazers]

Thank you for sharing your story and how you have made adjustments to better help yourself and your loved one in this process!

[@N-1951]

I’m going through the same thing with my wife. My cardiologist is doing his best to help me but the stress gets to me. I’m trying to survive this so that she doesn’t become a burden to my children.🤞🏻🙏🏻

[@nancywallace9564]

Thank you so much, these insights are very helpful

[@orthodudeness]

@@nancywallace9564 hang in there Nancy. Tough road. We got through it together by sharing just like Dr Natali does here.

[@fishingrod920]

thank you

[@STSpringerChannel]

A helpful approach for many situations - thanks as always! However, what to do when LOWD is making demands as in "You must drive me to police station right now because they have my clothes that the thieves took!" Not sure how to apply the VERA steps... her perseveration is strong and even if we don't correct or say "sorry that happened" etc. she goes back to making the demand. Can go on for hours...

[@lydiamccarthy5900]

My mother has a habit of digging at her teeth. They are broken but in her mind , "I have something stuck in my teeth". She lays awake ALL NIGHT as she did last night and does this. I just don't know what to do anymore! It makes her mouth a mess. She even had a low mg xanax last night and low mg pain pill for the effects of the shingles and she still laid awake ALL night!

[@mariatrotter6889]

Excellent. As a CDP I’ve had to use this multiple times.

[@marycahillclc]

Hi Natali! Amazing information as always. I really liked how you said that this can help my LO to respond better to me in the future if u follow these steps. I guess I’ve been thinking that no matter what I do, she’ll just forget and not respond well but it makes sense that she’ll trust me in the future if she feels validated.❤️ Also, your free guide download link isn’t working. It takes me to a page about Lindsay Davis 🤷‍♀️

[@DementiaCareblazers]

Hi Mary, I am so glad to hear that it resonated with you! I double checked the link to the guide and it appears to be working but I will also post it here just in case: careblazers.ck.page/9486d30773

[@marycahillclc]

@Rosemarie Marquez I went to another one of her recent videos and got the link. ❤️

[@johnalmeyda642]

My mother passed away from demterte 27 ago it's was very to take care of her she see people who passed away year ago and it was very hard to care for her she passed away at the age of 98 on Good Friday three months after My sister passed away from cancer on Christmas day I still miss them both during the holidays coming t soon

[@marycahillclc]

HELP! Do you have a video to help me? I have taken my moms medication home with me because she was taking the wrong pills. I leave a week at a time of pills with my dad. She is angry (sometimes crying) about me taking her meds. She is getting aggressive about it. She calls me many times each day about it. I can sometimes distract and redirect her but it’s hard and she’ll go back to it in a few minutes. Any suggestions? Thanks! ❤️

[@sarahstrand2447]

What do I do when my husband thinks I'm a thief threats are made towards me. Horrible names I'm called. He goes into a type of sundowning. I don't know what to do or where to go to start a diagnostic process.. Need advise so bad.

[@DementiaCareblazers]

Hi Sarah, sundowning can be really difficult. I am sorry you are experiencing this with your husband. If he does not have a diagnosis, it might be beneficial to try to obtain one. I am attaching several videos that relate to either obtaining a diagnosis, sundowning, or responding to accusations and anger: kzbin.info/www/bejne/rKCalaybaZqqgac kzbin.info/www/bejne/oovKnntroNqpmqc kzbin.info/www/bejne/aYLZfYGqaqqjgrs kzbin.info/www/bejne/rIG9h5Rjdqp-qsU kzbin.info/www/bejne/faSmgmWOaM-Dnqc Sending you love as you navigate these next steps!

[@janhawkins1147]

I don't see a link for the article referenced in your video.

[@DementiaCareblazers]

Sorry about that! I just updated the description. You should see it now. But here you go: VERA Article link: drive.google.com/file/d/1b7ljCSyonId2sinS6nkzrFEIzZCZ_bfZ/view?usp=sharing

[@janhawkins1147]

@@DementiaCareblazers Thank you! :)

[@jackson1arm]

Is it a good idea for a Alzheimer’s patient to stay with adult family & teenagers

[@DementiaCareblazers]

Hello Charles, It can be. It all depends on the family situation and what care family feels they are able to provide.

[@glorialoayza959]

I have my 93 years old father with dementia, he is fine during the day but at night time he do not sleep properly, he goes to the bathroom a lot, he is with diaper but he still goes a lot. I give him every night zolpiden and memantine together because when I asked the doctor he told me to give him that, but is not working, please I need help what I can do so he can sleep the whole night.

[@DementiaCareblazers]

Hi Gloria, Sleep can certainly be difficult at times. I previously did a video on how to improve sleep in dementia that you may find helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aYuwqq2Ih9CbY9E I hope you find it helpful!

[@Winter-607]

What can you do when your loved one refuses to take their medication?

[@DementiaCareblazers]

Hi Sanaa, Great question! There are several ways of approaching this that may help. I outlined them in a video several years ago: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oprHc6ihgNR4f7M I hope you find it helpful!

[@Winter-607]

@@DementiaCareblazers Thank you

[@janetsavona7590]

I actually think they need to put in peace when they have that

[@dr.gamerz5531]

Kya aap Hindi language me explain kar sakte he ?

[@JodyMajkaAlexander]

Yes because they don't understand why

[@charleneallen3265]

What do you do when they won't go to bed.

[@orthodudeness]

This happens. I leave her in her recliner. Most times she will get up and go to bed after some time. Some stuff is going to happen that you can't change at the moment. Sometimes you wind up having to wait till they "settle out" of what ever it is. Then try again gently and quietly. Even during the day, sometimes you have to back off for a few minutes to an hour and retry. Doesn't get you much sleep sometimes, makes you late for stuff. Always keep calm and patient.

[@lucystraite325]

I have that same problem with my husband, we are lucky if we get two good nights sleep Over the span of a week. Hopefully someone will share their remedies

[@orthodudeness]

@@lucystraite325 After dinner, start turning off lights, Make it slowly darker. Keep a small night light plugged in, 4 watt, in a couple of places if you need. It's a pain sometimes, but, you can loosen light bulbs to keep them from being turned on at night. Hide the tv remote, phone etc. Sometimes you just have to go to bed alone, leaving them in the room of their choice. Again, only a small night light where needed. It's a tough time when they do this.

[@OGLYASDI]

I give my mom 2 melatonin strawberry flavored gummies about an hour before her bedtime which is around 7 pm, we then watch some television for a while and around 6:30 I go into her bedroom and turn on her heated blanket on low and get her jammies ready….. I then come back and check in on her and about 6:45 I let her know it’s almost her bedtime and to start getting ready for bed…..I help her off the couch and direct her to put on her pajamas while standing by at the ready to offer assistance, I then direct her to go potty and wash her hands and brush her teeth…..I’ve noticed with my mom that if we stick to a regular routine that she’s more receptive to follow along…..I then put her to bed and tuck her in and kiss her good night and I tell her I love her, she responds by telling me that she loves me too and then proceeds to thank me for helping her and taking care of her. I tell her that she’s very welcome and to sleep good and that she doesn’t have to worry or be afraid of anything because I’m there for her and I won’t let anything happen to her. Before I know it, she’s asleep. My husband and I also go to our bedroom at this time so if she is still awake or wakes up, she sees that we went to bed too to reinforce the fact that it’s time for bed and everyone is in bed. I feel very blessed that this is working for us so far, because it was a definite struggle when she first came to stay. I find that the calmer I am the more receptive she is…but, I know that every person is different so what seems to be working for us might for might not work for you. I pray that you find a solution, friend. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@orthodudeness]

@@OGLYASDI Perfect. Routine is important. Linda is far along now, and slips a bit from the routine. I just allow her time to adjust back. Sometimes a minute, sometimes an hour. Same for med routine. When she refuses, I try again a little later. You are doing an awesome job, best to you.

[@orthodudeness]

AT 1 minute 30 seconds you mention the VERA article being left below. It isn't there...yet. Uh Oh Doc.....my wife does this stuff too! :) Edit....I am a smart butt:) I'm sure you have a valid reason for your omitting this. Lets try it again. Don't get upset, we're here for you. Yup...right here for you, your doing great. How about we try to place that goody here as a friendly thing to do for others??? Would you like some coffee?? I'll go make dinner, you continue to wrap my socks in paper towels, I'll let you know when it's ready. This is humor I hope, I'm trying anyhow. Mostly Codswallop....rubbish jabber. Please don't ban me, I will be good.

[@orthodudeness]

Oh man....I paused it right at 1:01. That look....I will be good.

[@DementiaCareblazers]

Sorry about that! I updated the description with the link. thanks for letting me know.

[@orthodudeness]

@@DementiaCareblazers you're the sweetest most kind person! Thank you.