Depersonalization: The Two Scariest Aspects From My Journey - Unmasking Fear to Find Freedom

💯 Overcome depersonalization & reclaim your life! Join now:
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Welcome back to my channel, I'm Jordan Hardgrave. If you're new here, let me share that I once navigated a sea of mental health issues, including debilitating trauma, depersonalization/derealization, various forms of anxiety, and depression. These challenges consumed years of my life, but I eventually found a body-based method that led to permanent healing. In today's video, I'm sharing some of the most terrifying aspects of depersonalization that I encountered during my healing journey, alongside the warning signs and how I persevered. This is a crucial conversation as understanding these signs can help others identify if they're struggling with depersonalization.
➡️ This video aims to give you an idea of what to watch out for and practical steps you can take if you find yourself battling depersonalization. I've committed my life to helping others heal from similar experiences. I've studied under top trauma and mental health experts and developed an evidence-based method that can bring rapid results. This method draws on the work of experts like Dr. Steven Porges, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, Dr. Peter A Levine, and Dr. Joseph LeDoux.
Through the Trauma Free Academy, I offer resources to help you find the healing you've been seeking. My goal is to help you reach the root of your symptoms rather than merely managing them. So, if you're ready to join this journey towards healing, follow along, and check out our paid resources for more personalized help. Thanks for watching.
💬 Do you recognize any of these symptoms of depersonalization? Let me know in the comments section below.
✨ And don’t forget to subscribe to the Channel!
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Welcome to the official KZbin Channel of Jordan Hardgrave - Certified trauma and resiliency life coach with a mission to transform the way we approach mental health.
Having grappled with a variety of mental health challenges including trauma, depersonalization/derealization, panic attacks, depression, and various forms of anxiety, I've personally experienced the struggle and desperation these symptoms can cause. Thankfully, I discovered a body-based healing method that not only brought me permanent healing, but also a new sense of purpose - to help others journeying through similar struggles. On this channel, you will find videos centered around mental health issues, strategies to overcome them, and tools to help you build resilience.
By subscribing and hitting that notification bell, you'll be the first to know whenever I release new videos. Every video is designed to empower, educate, and offer practical steps towards healing from trauma and it's associated symptoms.
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💯 Ready to overcome trauma & reclaim your life!
Uncover a 5-Step Strategy eliminating depersonalization symptoms in as little as 4 weeks. This masterclass shows how depersonalization/derealization is connected to trauma, how to break free from those symptoms, anxiety & other symptoms, why discussing past traumas can worsen them, & how to heal using body-based strategies.
Learn from the story of a client who healed after 18 years in under three months. No need to recall past traumas to heal. Join now to start a future free of trauma.
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📚 DISCLAIMER:
Nothing I say should by email or in any form of communication replace a consultation with a licensed mental health professional and doctor for diagnosis and treatment. I am unable to diagnose or treat any sort of medical or mental health condition. I am also unable to prescribe medication or give any advice about medication other than my general opinion.
Anything I say in any form of communication is my personal opinion and should be treated as such and not taken as medical advice or seen as an attempt to diagnose or treat any sort of medical or mental health condition. Thank you.
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#MentalHealthAwareness #Depersonalization #HealingJourney #TraumaRecovery #AnxietyRelief #OvercomingTrauma #JordanHardgrave #TraumaFreeAcademy #TraumaFree #MentalHealthMatters

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

What are/were the scariest parts of Dpdr for you?

[@emmanuelgodson6908]

I feel lie I don’t know what the fuck am I, I was like what is me what is , do I even make any sense will I even feel better

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

@@emmanuelgodson6908 thank you for sharing that. I felt the same way and now I feel 100% normal!

[@emmanuelgodson6908]

Phew 😅, I’m relieved 🥲

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

@@emmanuelgodson6908 glad to hear! :)

[@khoneyblack3387]

Walking outside like y this doesn’t look the same to me! Which mks you tremble a bit however now i go out like umm new views ok cool with it til however whenever

[@emmanuelgodson6908]

My scariest part was feeling that I’m fake and I’m not real , I feel that I’m a stranger to my own body and thoughts, I feel like I don’t even know who I am anymore . I feel my thoughts are different from my body . Being out of your body is the worst that can make you lose hope

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Thank you for sharing that! I 100% agree!!!

[@lvivmanbf3]

How did you heal?

[@FrAnChEsKaSaNtOs1]

Scariest part of DP/DR for me is the constant intrusive thoughts. I can’t seem to get my brain to shut up. And it throws me into panic thinking I’m schizophrenic. When you hear your own thoughts all day everyday and have DP/dr on top of it , it’s hard to not start to believe them. My Mind feels like a fog. At times people look like weird aliens to me and I start to question why and how we are all her existing. It’s terrifying. I have two little kids so I’ve had to push through. But I’m exhausted

[@FrAnChEsKaSaNtOs1]

I must add this started in 2019 when I had a panic attack after smoking weed. I had it bad then but I had no idea it was DP/dr. At the time I thought it was just dizziness and vertigo. Looking back now I know it was DP /dr. It went away in 2020 for about a year then came back after a traumatic birth experience.

[@Brandon-oe2ku]

Well you must understand someone going through schizophrenia wouldn’t even be aware

[@hellucination9905]

The scariest thing for me was probably feeling locked-in in my own body, especially the head. Like I was trapped within myself. Shit make me panic like you wouldn't believe.

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Yupppp! I remember

[@sneekyable]

I had my first panic attack in late 2020 and went through this up until late 2021. Now I just gently dissociate but I am much much better than I was during that time. I want you to know that your videos and the other guys with the manual really saved my life. I came so close to calling it quits and ending it all because of this god awful condition, I thought I was alone and lost to the void. But then discovering that I was not alone and that there are ways to fight it brought me back from the brink. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for starting this channel.

[@mixedbatemanflms]

Real.❤

[@void0094]

I have experienced DP/DR for the first time when I was 11. Six years later it isn't a big problem anymore. When I discovered your channel in 2019 your videos helped me accept my feelings and that helped me a lot. Thank you.

[@FlyingOverTr0ut]

It's hard to pick any one thing as I was terrorized by DPDR for years. One was the feeling of being ripped out of my body, like God was taking control of me to destroy me and make me lose all my desires and emotions. Another was in my first bout of DPDR at 17-18 years old that I was getting so far dissociated that I could almost not even recognize the people around me or emotionally respond to them.

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Thanks for sharing!

[@freeviebee]

You’re okay now?

[@paulroussell8515]

I’ve had DP/DR for a couple years now, and it is like hell. My family does not understand it at all and I feel like I need to act as normal as possible to not inconvenience them. I know I need treatment but I don’t know how to start the process if that makes any sense. I appreciate your videos, it helps me feel like I’m not alone in suffering from this mental illness.

[@paulroussell8515]

I often feel like I’m insane or losing my mind, it’s horrible and I would not wish it on my worse enemy.

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Hey Paul, the answer is the s5 method. It’s my 5 step approach for recovery. Dprecovery.com is where it’s at.

[@paulroussell8515]

@@coachjordanhardgrave Hi Jordan. So I just purchased your recovery program and I had a question, how long should it take for me to go through the course? I don't want to rush through it I want to get the most out of it as possible. How do I pace myself through it?

[@TC-rv6sz]

I love n appreciate ur humor 😊 it makes it easier to pay attention to this intense topic

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Glad to hear!

[@cpt_syphilis]

Thank you for sharing your story about hugging a tree for grounding. This may be another field, but in order to manage my anger sometimes during meetings at work I firmly grab a leg of the table I sit by and imagine my anger going down the leg and into the ground. It may not solve the cause for my anger, but it gives me the space I need to handle the situation more skillfully without lashing out and risk making the situation worse. My point is that I feel silly each time. But it has proven useful, again, in order to buy some time before I can place myself somewhere quiet where I can sit down and let the feeling of anger find resolution. A trick I learned by my Zen teacher, Daizan Skinner. Although your guided body relaxation video was what saved me way back when, I'd never given any type of meditation a chance before that. Thank you for your work!

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Thanks for sharing that! It's sometimes silly techniques that can produce results. Hugging a tree was very embarrassing but it did help at the time before I found out truly how to get rid of my symptoms.

[@chickennuggets8587]

For me it feels like I’m high but worst than being high it’s something you can’t even describe

[@venomsward5497]

Intro is good. You making a gods job, dude.

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Happy to help!

[@khoneyblack3387]

Wow definitely feels like a damn portal like dawg how i get stuck in this damn snow globe

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Yes it does. Thanks for sharing!

[@hellucination9905]

This feeling of feeling trapped in another dimension triggered my abandonment anxiety and made me relive traumatic childhood memories.

[@marilyngonzalez998]

Thank you for this Video. I thought I was alone. I never felt this was till my dad passed away. I have been getting this for a little over a year. I don’t get it every day but when I get it it’s so scary. I mainly get it when I’m under a lot of stress or something bad is happening.

[@YourPistola]

I feel like when someone talks they’re voice “FELT” very “weird”. Felling like I was going schizophrenic/ insane. BRAIN FEELS LIKE MUSH!! Parkinson’s/Alzheimer’s. And my thoughts going a million miles per hour.

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Thanks for sharing, yes it can be truly intense

[@pinkyfighter9834]

Get well soon ,i have been there and now i am totally fine and so you will 🥰

[@KatieSweeney.]

I have been suffering from severe depersonalization/derealization ever since taking a massive amount of psilocybin mushrooms (5.5 grams 🤦🏻‍♀️) 3 weeks ago. Friends recommended I try them to help cure the PTSD that was caused due to my beloved dog’s euthanasia a few months ago. I have a bunch of serious health issues (Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, MCAS and POTS) and don’t metabolize drugs properly, so I typically stay away from them and stay away from drinking as well. My diet is meticulously clean and I’m extremely health conscious. But due to lack of sleep from the PTSD I wasn’t thinking clearly and tried the shrooms. It was the most horrific trip imaginable and I ended up with serotonin syndrome and ego death. I went to the hospital 3xs. I feel like they still must be in my body somehow because it feels like I’m still tripping. I have no idea who I am anymore and my perception is constantly fluctuating. All I want to do is go back to the mental state I was in a month ago so that I could grieve my dog’s death normally. I feel like the mushroom incident pushed my memories of her even further away and created a chasm between her and I. I feel like my memories are now going to be forever influenced and tainted by this whole experience. I feel like my dog at least existed in my brain but now my brain is fried and I can no longer access memories of her so it feels like I killed her all over again and I no longer know what is real. I’m completely disconnected from my sense of self and I used to love myself. Everywhere I go looks new, terrifying and foreign.... as if I’m seeing familiar places for the first time. Are you accepting new clients? I desperately need help. 😢

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Hey Katie. Thank you for sharing this. I would start with my Dpdr course at dprecovery.com.

[@sandyshealingjourney]

Mine started from a bad mushroom trip as well. It was terrifying to put it lightly. We sound very similar. I recovered after a couple years. It's so scary. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

[@KatieSweeney.]

@@coachjordanhardgrave Do you suppose a situation like mine could really just be all anxiety-based? Even though it was such a high dose and it literally feels like I’m still tripping?

[@KatieSweeney.]

@@sandyshealingjourney how did you recover and how are you sure you recovered and just didn’t get used to your new perception of reality?

[@KatieSweeney.]

@@sandyshealingjourney thank you so much for sharing! I’m so happy to hear that you’re finally doing well 🙏🏻💜

[@AnimeRaindrop]

My mom has no clue what her little man is going through but I’m at the point of completely accepting the depersonalization. I’m not gonna take any pills for this anymore. I was on diazepam 5 mg for 7 years and it helped me and made me not care about it then my psychiatrist pulled me off of it and all the symptoms returned. I feel this needs to be healed naturally tho. I’m doing my best to accept it and stop talking about it.

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Hey Brandon, thanks for sharing that. Accepting depersonalization will never make the symptoms stay gone even if it does work. There's a lot happening in your body that needs to be changed such as tension energy and emotion. There is also a ton of education that needs to happen because a lack of scientific education brings fear. In the S5 method I teach an evidence based approach for eliminating DPDR forever, it's helped countless people recover. It's at dprecovery.com. Stay strong my friend.

[@angelaturner7423]

I think for me depersonalization or the best way to explain it for someone who has not experienced this sensation, would be imagine oneself in a large building during an earthquake and the building is half demolished. One might question the reality of what they see and are experiencing especially if one had been knocked out or unconscious on top of it. When you awake, you would question your reality. It is kind of like this when a person experiences a life threatening event, the best thing for your body to do is disassociate until the trauma releases and one can free themselves. Kind of like a gazelle being attacked by a lion. The gazelle 'freezes'. Our bodies do the same thing.

[@loveechomelodico9259]

Hey Jordan, I don't have panic attacks anymore and I don't feel anxious. I got dp from a panic attack about a month ago, I trained my mind to think that this is only 'temporary'. I also force myself to go out now. The feelings which persist is not being fully connected to my body, my name, my identity and I think I live a lot in my head, and the mirror thing which I know it is me, I am not scared or anything as such but it just doesn't feel me as it used to before. I meditate, do yoga, also aerobics. But I feel like I do something I know I've done that thing but don't really feel like I'd done it, if you know what I mean. Also when I am around a lot of people it feels as though I am in a dream. These are my symptoms. I just want to know what is the right approach towards recovery, is it distraction or doing physical exercises? Please help! Lots of love ❤️

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Hey thanks for sharing. The right approach is neither one of those things. You need scientific education (will help eliminate fear of symptoms), somatic interoception (getting in tune with body) self regulation (changing what’s happening in the body) sensory integration (desensitizing sensory triggers), and self transformation (focus on goals). I teach all 5 things in the s5 method at dprecovery.com, it’s how I overcame Dpdr forever.

[@patbasse7]

I think my DPDR is caused solely by playing virtual reality and other video games.. And I'm not alone in that.

[@hellucination9905]

Did it stop or are you still suffering?

[@missphynxmissphynx7510]

God bless you for this informative video!

[@pinkyfighter9834]

Thank you jordan for your efforts ❣️

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Happy to help

[@Austin.0712]

Patiently waiting for more videos😢

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Working on it! :)

[@onlymeadow]

Hey Jordan. About a month ago I started accepting and ignoring my symptoms which really gave me some short term relief, but you're right about it being a short-term thing. At this point, I'm heavily considering purchasing your course. Your videos have helped me a ton and you're pretty much the only advice on dp/dr I turn to. My only question would be, if I developed dp/dr due to a marijuana-induced panic attack, will your course still help me through that? I experienced various different traumatic events prior to the marijuana incident, and I believe I was already in a state of trauma. The marijuana panic attack just tipped me over after years and years. Would your course still help with that? Honestly I'm at a point where I feel less anxious and don't have panic attacks. I just struggle feeling connected and real.

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Hey great question. Probably 30% of people who take my course got it due to marijuana.

[@loner5574]

I cant feel my breathing it's like i dont have lungs i can't even tell if im inhaling or exhaling and there is no urge to breathe i feel like I'm going to pass out

[@matthewberry1900]

I felt like I couldn't understand language watching tv and reading was impossible I'm a lot better but some days I still struggle felt also dreamlike my world when it was really bad I couldn't recognize myself in the mirror doc just put me on antidepressants

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Thank you for sharing. I felt the same way. I highly suggest my Dpdr program at dprecovery.com

[@carminaaispuro6337]

@@GOTHAMCITYMOVIES how are you doing now?

[@carminaaispuro6337]

@@GOTHAMCITYMOVIES wow you actually replied awesome not what you're going through I'm really sorry about that I'm also struggling is there somewhere else we can message? I'd like to tell you about my stuff I'm not comfortable putting it here in the comments

[@carminaaispuro6337]

@@GOTHAMCITYMOVIES yesss!

[@carminaaispuro6337]

@@GOTHAMCITYMOVIES how do I send that privately?

[@YourPistola]

At night the DPDR would flare up and my body felt UNREAL and numb and I would scratch really hard my arms to “feel” them.

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

I know what you’re talking about!

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

I used to experience they

[@MyPanda54]

Hello! Currently going through that :( I woke up with it actually. Did it get better for you?

[@YourPistola]

@@MyPanda54 it comes and goes. I’ll go for periods of a couple months we’re I’m good then it will come out of nowhere. For now I’m good 🙂. You will get through it as well! I’m currently looking into what can potentially be causing this for me. I found out that I have been living in a MOLDY home which I later found out actually triggers DP/DR.

[@MyPanda54]

Would your body feel like rubber? Like my body feels numb but it’s not lol idk if that makes sense and it’s coming in waves 😭😭

[@chrisesquivel1425]

does anybody else just zone out for a really long time?? i zone out a lot through out the day

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

I most certainty zoned out. This can be a form of what's called somatic dissociation. We tend to live in our head to escape the pain happening in our body. I used to zone out playing video games all day, also dwelling on the past or the future and day dreaming. Again, this is a way to escape the body. There's a lot happening in your body that needs to be changed such as tension energy and emotion. There is also a ton of education that needs to happen because a lack of scientific education brings fear. In the S5 method I teach an evidence based approach for eliminating DPDR forever, it's helped countless people recover. It's at dprecovery.com. So that way you won't need to escape your body in your head and you can be present and enjoy life. Stay strong my friend.

[@CanZu7]

Thank you for all the well-researched insight. I've just started your program and I am excited to try out the methods. Do you know if DPDR or anxiety can lead to psychosis? For instance when questioning the reality 24/7.

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Good question! Excited you began the program. What I could tell you is the most people who do experience psychosis has an average of one single episode. One. And with Dpdr reality testing is in tact, meaning people can sense something is off which is unlike psychosis where the person wouldn’t know something was off. I’ve yet to see a single person have a psychotic episode after working with thousands of dpdr sufferers.

[@CanZu7]

@@coachjordanhardgrave I appreciate you taking time to reply instantly, thank you! That is relieving to know :) Also, I appreciate you criticizing the superficial approaches other "DPDR experts" convey.

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

@@CanZu7 happy to help!

[@katievedder3270]

@@CanZu7 are you feeling better now? 😊 just bought Jordan’s program so I’m hoping I will!

[@CanZu7]

@Katie Vedder yes, I don't have DPDR anymore :) good luck to you!

[@ivanzeng6676]

Note: This is nothing related to the video, but this is the only way I know so far to reach to you personally. Hey Jordan, I've been a subscriber to your S5 method for about a month now. I'm trying to ask you the question: how do you truly know when you're in a relaxed body? I know this may seem like common sense but I was wondering if you could address it further into detail. Thanks!!

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Hey Ivan. Go get a message. That will help you get a point of reference for what it feels like to be in a relaxed body.

[@ivanzeng6676]

@@coachjordanhardgrave Appreciate the help!

[@eduardogomez7681]

I feel all this and worse please someone tell me how can I get cured it horrible I haven't been able to work because of this I have kids that depend on me to pay bills but I'm just constantly confused out of body feeling like I can't understand words like I can't speak or function right like I'm losing control of my libs and tongue idk what to do can some please tell me what I can do I beg you

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Hey get my Dpdr program at dprecovery.com

[@NOBLE1MC]

Hey Jordan, are some symptoms of dpdr like dizziness, being tired alot?

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Good question! First off make sure to see a doctor. Secondly, dizziness can happen due to being in fight or flight response and is not connected to the freeze response necessarily which is when DPDR happens. There's a lot happening in your body that needs to be changed such as tension energy and emotion. There is also a ton of education that needs to happen because a lack of scientific education brings fear. In the S5 method I teach an evidence based approach for eliminating DPDR forever, it's helped countless people recover. It's at dprecovery.com. This strategy is much more than acceptance and will keep the symptoms gone forever. I used acceptance to get DPDR to go away for a few years and I thought I was cured...Then the symptoms came back and they were worse than ever. Acceptance is good for eliminating resistance, but there is so much more going on than resistance that is driving the symptoms.

[@angel-vn4cq]

Jordan ❤️

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Hey angel!

[@kenatroupe8580]

anyone else experience ear ringing ?

[@pinkyfighter9834]

Yes i had that symptom

[@kenatroupe8580]

@@pinkyfighter9834 did it go away when dpdr went away ?

[@pinkyfighter9834]

@@kenatroupe8580 yes ,100% don't worry

[@justyoyo1]

yes‚ random ear ringing that goes away in 20-30 seconds

[@aimeemackay485]

Hi I bought the course in 2019 and I was wondering if it’s the same course when it changed to the different website

[@Labbisho]

the worst part of dpdr is the fact that i feel like an alien, in an alien world

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

I used to feel that too

[@Labbisho]

@@coachjordanhardgrave i’m glad i’m not alone. i’m sure i can succeed in feeling normal i’m just worried i’ll view reality in a different way, a more terrifying and depressing way

[@alexthebeastxx]

Is it normal to feel emotionally detatched from everyone and yourself when your depersonalized/derealized?

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Hey Alex, this isn’t part of Dpdr, but is part of a traumatized state, or can be a side effect of medications.

[@alexthebeastxx]

@@coachjordanhardgrave not taking medication or anything really, but I have gone through a huge amount of stress, like tons of anxiety and panic attacks after quitting weed and unfortunetly getting covid through it, got dp/dr for a while, Don't know if I still am. Might be trauma?? Idk your the expert 😹

[@alexthebeastxx]

@@coachjordanhardgrave also I have another question if you can respond, did time feel like distorted, like sometimes throughout the day time would speed up, then slow down or kinda freeze at certain points of the day? And also just delveing into space and just thinking and being frozen?

[@user-cy5ol3xl5y]

How do I access my account on the depersonalization recovery course?

[@coachjordanhardgrave]

Hey shoot my assistant an email at [e-mail]